Sunday 20 November 2016

Socks

San Marino officials have demanded an apology from Germany's Thomas Müller, who made comments about their team following an eight-nil win for Germany on Friday. Müller said that playing 'a team of amateurs' in the World Cup qualifier put German players 'at risk of injury.' Bayern Munchen's chief Karl-Heinz Rummenigge added: 'San Marino has nothing to do with professional football.' San Marino's Olympic Committee spokesman, Alan Gasperoni, offered ten reasons for the game to be played and told Müller that Germany 'does not own the game. It's served to make me realise that even if you wear the most beautiful Adidas kits, underneath you're always the ones that put white socks under their sandals.' Good answer! San Marino Secretary of State for Tourism and Sport, Teodoro Lonfernini, called for a formal apology. 'Germany are world champions, but they are not the master of the world,' said Lonfernini. Joachim Löw's side were two-nil up inside nine minutes and ran out easy winners, with a hat-trick from former The Arse forward Serge Gnabry on his debut, two from Jonas Hector, an own goal and strikes from Kevin Volland and Sami Khedira. Müller - who did not score and has also not scored for Bayern in the Bundesliga yet this season - said afterwards that while 'it's a highlight for San Marino to play the world champions,' the game should not have been played. 'It served to show that even against lowly teams like ours you cannot score a goal and don't say you were not frustrated when [goalkeeper Aldo] Simoncini denied you,' Gasperoni said in the letter posted on Facebook. 'It also served to show that football belongs to everyone who loves it and we are part of that, whether you like it or not.'
England players have been banned by the Football Association from having nights off while on international duty. The FA is looking into claims that 'several players' were 'out until late' on Saturday night after Friday's three-nil win over Scotland - less than three days before they drew two-two with Spain in a friendly. The naughty boys. Wayne Rooney grovellingly apologised after pictures showed him appearing completely bladdered at a wedding that same night. Meanwhile, the Sun claims 'up to ten' other players were at a nightclub drinking until 4:30am on Sunday. A statement issued on behalf of Rooney, who had attended a wedding at the team's hotel, said: 'Naturally Wayne is sorry that pictures taken with fans have been published. Although it was a day off for the whole squad and staff, he fully recognises that the images are inappropriate for someone in his position.' The FA, whose decision is, they claim, 'not prompted purely' by Rooney's night out on the razzle, is not expecting to discipline anyone. Chief executive Martin Glenn said: 'Don't make a drama out of it.' Oh, too late for that mate. These are British tabloid newspapers we're talking too, they'll make a drama out of anything so long as it features, you know, tits. Or Jeremy Clarkson. 'We are having a proper investigation into what went on. It's disappointing. It's appropriate that he apologised. It doesn't set a great tone for the England captain but I don't want to over-dramatise it either. Were there FA staff involved? We're establishing the facts. We're talking to people who were there to find out if anybody from the backroom staff was involved. Why on earth would you be doing that given there is a team agreement around alcohol consumption during camp? There would be questions asked for sure. There's been a journey. A strict disciplinarian like Fabio Capello where the players were closeted away, it was seen not to be a good success. Roy Hodgson brought a more liberal approach. Roy was right, let's treat people like adults. The best agreements are when players come up with their own rules and then work with them. I think we're probably in the right ball park. We just need to have a degree of trust and make sure when we agree something as a group, we stick to it.' Glenn added that he had 'no intention' of speaking to The Scum's manager, Jose Mourinho, who was said to be 'unhappy with the situation' concerning Rooney. England's players, who will still have free time but not whole nights off, all reported back at 11am on Sunday as they were instructed to, and attended training in the afternoon. When asked about the Rooney story, Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws manager Jurgen Klopp said that he did not see a problem. 'I feel sorry for the players,' he said. 'We live on the sunny side of life, but in the end maybe it is a surprise there is a human being behind the kid. This generation is the most professional generation of footballers we have ever had - not only in England. All the legends you admire, they drank like devils and smoked like crazy and were still good players. Nobody does that any more. I've no idea where Wayne was but I'm pretty sure it was not that serious.' Scotland and West Bromwich Albinos captain Darren Fletcher defended his former The Scum team-mate Rooney in an interview with BBC Radio 5Live. 'The whole situation is very unfortunate,' said the midfielder. 'I hear a lot about how professional footballers are detached from the public and they don't mingle any more. This circumstance shows why professionals are scared to do it. He's suffered the consequences of the social media world we live in. Players will be even more guarded now. People plaster you all over social media when you're kind enough to take pictures with fans. He holds his hands up. It's been blown out of proportion. That's not me defending my friend, Wayne Rooney, that's me defending most footballers who like to let their hair down. He's made a mistake but a genuine one in terms of trying to give a bit of time to fans when he was a bit worse for wear. He's the most down to earth guy you'll ever meet. If he gets the chance to socialise with normal people and his guard is down, he's probably let the guard down too far. He's almost been too approachable and down to Earth.'
Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle United moved five points clear at the top of the Championship by beating Dirty Leeds at an emotional Elland Road. Fans of both sides held two minute's applause before and during the game to make next Sunday's fifth anniversary of the death of Gary Speed, who played with great distinction for both clubs. Dwight Gayle pounced on a Rob Green howler to volley the Magpies ahead in the first half. Leeds rallied and Eunan O'Kane's shot was well saved but Gayle's second, from a sharp team move after half-time, sealed Newcastle's eighth league win in a row. Defeat by contrast ends Leeds' three-game winning run and leaves them just outside the play-off places. In front of a sell-out thirty six thousand Elland Road crowd (Leeds's first full-house in six years), these two old heavyweights evoked memories of classic top-tier matches of yesteryear with a first league meeting since 2004. Speed's tribute briefly brought the two teams together but with both in search of points for a realistic return to the Premier League, it swiftly returned to a contest that Newcastle, for the most part, controlled throughout. Gayle's breakthrough goal came from a swinging Jack Colback cross that Rob Green failed to cope with, the first real opportunity of the game. The goal ignited a response from Leeds as referee Graham Scott waved away Pontus Jansson's protests for a penalty at the end of the half and they continued that momentum early in the second period with possession and some pressure. Yet Newcastle snuffed out hopes of snatching a point or more when sharp passing sliced open Leeds' left and Gayle turned in Vurnon Anita's cross for a second that created a comfortable cushion and in turn deflated the hosts.

Saturday 12 November 2016

Scotch Missed

Gareth Southgate took a significant step towards being appointed England's full-time manager and intensified the pressure on his beleaguered Scotland counterpart Gordon Strachan in the process with a comfortable three-nil World Cup qualifying win at Wembley. Southgate knew victory would press his claims to succeed disgraced Sam Allardyce on a permanent basis - and England delivered with a display that was unconvincing but easily enough to beat Scotland. Daniel Sturridge's stooping, instinctive header from Kyle Walker's driven cross put the hosts ahead after twenty four minutes and Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws team-mate Adam Lallana did the same from Danny Rose's delivery five minutes after the break. James Forrest and Robert Snodgrass missed opportunities for the visitors before Lallana added England's second - and Gary Cahill's sixty first-minute header from Wayne Rooney's corner only increased Strachan's agony. England now top Group F while Scotland languish in fifth - above only Malta - with their hopes of qualifying for the 2018 tournament in Russia fading fast. England's interim manager deflected all talk about his future in the build-up to this qualifier - but he will know he is effectively in an impregnable position after this win against a very average Scotland side. Even Southgate's biggest supporters, however, would be hard-pressed to suggest this performance hinted at a golden future for England, but it is surely enough to earn the forty six-year-old the chance to plot the way ahead to the next World Cup. He was under a little pressure after a poor performance in the goalless draw in Slovenia, but this was just what he needed - in result terms at least - and it is now surely only a matter of time before his appointment is confirmed, irrespective of the result of Tuesday's friendly against Spain at Wembley.
Captain Rafael Marquez headed in an eighty ninth-minute winner to give Mexico a dramatic two-one win over the United States in their 2018 World Cup qualifier. The match in Columbus, Ohio had 'an added layer' after Donald Trump won the US presidential election, having criticised Mexicans in his campaign. The visitors took the lead through a Miguel Layun shot before Bobby Wood equalised just after half-time. But Marquez nodded in a Layun corner to give Mexico victory in a feisty match. The win ended Mexico's run of four defeats in the state capital of Ohio - a key 'swing state' won by Trump on Tuesday - in World Cup qualifiers going back to 2001. President-elect Trump has described undocumented Mexican migrants in the US as 'criminals' and said that he wants to build a wall along the US-Mexico border. 'Maybe now they have a bad time, a time of intolerance and with this win maybe they can forget now a little bit what happened here in the US,' said Marquez.
Poland striker Robert Lewandowski needed treatment after a flare thrown by home fans exploded near him during a heated World Cup qualifier in Romania. The Bayern Munchen player was not hurt but appeared shaken after the incident early in the second half, which forced play to be stopped for several minutes. The match in Bucharest was also interrupted for a minute at the end of the first half after fans threw flares and firecrackers on to the pitch. Poland won the Group E match three-nil. Rennes forward Kamil Grosicki's fine solo goal put the group leaders in front after eleven minutes. The two delays followed as the home crowd grew restless before Lewandowski made sure of the win late on, scoring with a composed finish in the eighty second minute before adding a third from the penalty spot in injury time.
Paul Pogba and Dimitri Payet were on target as France marked the first anniversary of the Paris attacks with victory over Sweden in a World Cup qualifier at Stade De France. A minute's silence was observed before kick-off to remember the one hundred and thirty victims of the attacks on 13 November 2015. Emil Forsberg's free-kick put Sweden ahead in the second half but The Scum's Pogba quickly equalised. Payet's sixty fifth-minute winner moved France three points clear in Group A. The West Hamsters United midfielder had earlier set up the equaliser for Pogba, the world's most expensive player nodding home his team-mate's precise free-kick. Payet capped a bright performance with the decisive goal, turning the ball in from close range after Sweden goalkeeper Robin Olsen fumbled.
Ex-The Arse midfielder Serge Gnabry scored a debut hat-trick as Germany brushed aside San Marino eight-nil in a one-sided World Cup qualifier in Serravalle. Gnabry, now at Werder Bremen, opened his account inside ten minutes and hit two more after the break to become the first Germany debutant to score three times since Dieter Müller in 1976. Sami Khedira, Jonas Hector (two) and Kevin Volland also scored, while Mattia Stefanelli conceded an own goal. Germany lead Group C by five points. Gnabry joined Bremen for an undisclosed fee in August after finishing as joint top scorer at this summer's Olympic Games as Germany lost the final to hosts Brazil. 'I did not count on scoring three goals on my debut,' said Gnabry, who joined The Arse from Stuttgart in 2011 and made eighteen appearances for the club, scoring but once. 'I am very happy. The last two years were difficult but now I am playing many games and am in scoring form. I hope it will continue.'
Northern Ireland replaced Azerbaijan in second place in Group C thanks to an impressive World Cup qualifying win at a rain-lashed Windsor Park. Kyle Lafferty fired home the opener in the twenty seventh minute and Gareth McAuley headed in from a Chris Brunt free-kick to make it two-nil before half-time. Conor McLaughlin headed his first international goal before Brunt claimed his second goal for his country. Ireland are second on goal difference, five points behind group leaders Germany. West Bromwich Albino's Brunt was back in the NI team for the first time in thirteen months, having missed Euro 2016 because of a serious knee injury. 'To score four goals and not concede any is a good result, especially against Azerbaijan,' said Brunt. 'They were flying high in the group.' Northern Ireland boss Michael O'Neill described the win as 'huge' and praised the fans for their backing.