Up For The Cup?

Arch rivals Sheikh Yer Man City FC and The Scum will face each other in the tie of the FA Cup third round in January. The Scum will make the short trip across Manchester to the Etihad Stadium looking to avenge October's 6-1 drubbing at the hands of City. Elsewhere, The Arse meet Dirty Leeds, Bristol Rovers will host Aston Villains whilst in-form Stottingtot Hotshots face the might of Cheltenham Town. Non-league Tamworth are rewarded for reaching the third round by having to travel to Everton, Wrexham face Brighton and Fleetwood will play Blackpool if they beat Yeovil in a second round replay. The clash of the Manchester giants is the obvious stand out tie of the draw - with the teams currently sitting first and second, respectively in the Premier League. The neighbours met in the FA Cup semi-finals last season at Wembley with Roberto Mancini's side winning 1-0 to reach their first final in thirty years. They triumphed 1-0 against Stoke. The clubs have only met once in the FA Cup at Manchester City's home ground - back in 1954-55 when City won 2-0. The tie was one of only two all-Premier League affairs to emerge from Sunday's draw, with yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved Magpies hosting Blackburn Rovers in the other at St James Park. Or, whatever Ashley and his chimp are calling it that particular week. Moscow Chelski FC's manager Andre Villas-Boas's first taste of the FA Cup will come at home to Championship side Portsmouth, who won the FA Cup in 2008. Martin O'Neill's first FA Cup tie in charge of relegation-haunted Blunderland will come at another Championship club Peterborough, while Stoke's manager Tony Pulis returns to one of his former clubs, League Two Gillingham. Peterborough director of football Barry Fry said: 'I am absolutely delighted, it is a great draw. It should be a sell-out and with Martin O'Neill going there it gives us half a chance of being on TV.' The Thieving Scouse Schleps must await the outcome of the second-round replay between Southend and Oldham to discover their opponents. Neil Warnock's Queen's Park Strangers face a tricky-looking visit to Milton Keynes where the Dons are pushing for a promotion to the Championship next season. Blue Square Bet Premier Tamworth will be happy with a lucrative trip to Premier League Everton while Wrexham's reward for a stunning 1-0 win at League One Brentford is a tie against Brighton & Hove Albino. Nottingham Forest will host Leicester in a no-love-lost East Midlands derby and Birmingham and Wolverhampton Wanderlust meet at St Andrew's in an equally-no-love-lost West Midlands derby. Derby, meanwhile, play Crystal Palace. Which isn't an anything derby. There is definitely one all-London tie after Poor Bloody Fulham Haven't Got A Chance and Charlton Not-Very-Athletic were paired together. Notlob face the winners of the Chelmsford versus Macclesfield tie.

Sócrates

Further sad news for the world of football. The former Brazil captain Sócrates has died at the age of fifty seven. He had been in a critical condition with an intestinal infection since being admitted to hospital on Friday in São Paulo. He, his wife and a friend were all reportedly taken ill after eating stroganoff last week, but his body was too frail to cope, having recently recovered from illness and he suffered septic shock which claimed his life in the early hours of Sunday morning. Sócrates, who was widely regarded as one of the greatest goalscoring midfielders ever to play the game, was moved onto life support on Saturday. He played in two World Cups, winning sixty caps for his country between 1979 and 1986 - many as captain - and scored twenty two goals. At six foot four he was known for his physical strength combined with a silky elegance on the ball for such a big man, as well as two-footed vision, a powerful shot and more tricks than Derren Brown. There have, frankly, been few better box-to-box playmakers in the history of the game. Easily recognisable for his beard and headband, he became the 'symbol of cool for a whole generation of football supporters,' according to the journalist Jonathan Jurejko. He looked more like a rock star than a footballer, with a towering awkward frame, straggly hair - and, of course, the instantly recognisable beard. The 1980s image of Sócrates is still plastered across retro T-shirts today, just like his hero Che Guevara, and his affect on a generation of football fans who fell in love with the Samba Boys of '82 is almost as revolutionary. His style of play was unmistakable; elegant and effortless almost to the point of nonchalance, and with a penchant for the back-heel that prompted Pelé to once remark that Sócrates played better going backwards than most footballers were going forward. Sócrates played for Botafogo and Corinthians in Brazil before an unhappy one-season spell in Italy at Fiorentina. He then saw out his career with Flamengo and Santos before retiring in 1989 at the age of thirty five. The first child of a self-educated intellectual father, a lover of the classics who named three of his sons after Greek philosophers, Sócrates was born in 1954 in Belém, the city on the banks of the Amazon estuary and capital of the North Brazilian state of Pará. Sócrates Brasileiro Sampaio de Souza Vieira de Oliveira came to football relatively late, having trained as a medical student until he was nineteen. Nicknamed 'The Doctor', Sócrates subsequently continued his studies whilst playing for Botafogo Futebol Clube and became a doctor of medicine, a rare achievement for a professional footballer (he was a graduate of the Faculdade de Medicina de Ribeirão Preto). After retiring as a player in the late 1980s he practised medicine at Ribeirao Preto. In his early playing days he was notably unwilling to join in the wild celebrations of his team-mates when he scored a goal (of which there were one hundred and seventy two over the course of two hundred and ninety seven matches. He would have played many more but missed two whole seasons in 1978 and 1979 whilst completing his doctorate); so much so that the fans complained to the club president considering this aloofness as a sign of a lack of passion. The president, in turn, begged Sócrates to be more demonstrative and Sócrates obliged, in future, with parodic celebrations, kneeling on the ground, throwing up his arms and invoking success from whatever Gods there might be. A deeply intelligent man he was also a talented musician, playing trumpet in a salsa band, and was politically active. During his time at Corinthians he co-founded the Corinthians Democracy Movement, in opposition to the then-ruling right-wing military dictatorship in Brazil. Sócrates and his team mates protested against the regime's treatment of footballers, and showed support to the wider movement for democratisation, by wearing shirts with 'Democracia!' written on them during games. Sócrates stated in several interviews that his childhood heroes were Fidel Castro, Che Guevara and John Lennon. As if that wasn't cool enough for a footballer, he was also a heavy drinker and smoker - notoriously, being a forty-a-day man at the very time when he was captaining the 1982 Brazil side, one of the greatest teams never to win the world cup. That second group stage defeat to Italy is still the stuff of nightmares for lovers of the The Beautiful Game the world over. Just like Hungary in 1954 and the Netherlands in 1974, here was a team blessed with, quite literally, all the talents, except for the ability to win the biggest prize of all. Ironically, his younger brother, Raí was a member of the Brazil squad which did win the World Cup in 1994. Sócrates would later note: 'Titles are ephemeral. What matters in football is the passion, regardless of conquests.' He set up a sporting medicine clinic in Ribeirão Preto where he lived with his wife and six children. He was a columnist for a number of newspapers and magazines, writing not only about sports, but also medicine, politics and economics. He frequently appeared on Brazilian TV programmes as a football pundit. At the time of his death, Sócrates was writing a speculative novel about the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. In 2004, aged fifty, Sócrates made an appearance as a substitute for Garforth Town in the Northern Counties League after a one-off deal to become player-coach. He was taken to the Albert Einstein Hospital in São Paulo with food poisoning on Friday, according to his wife. A hospital statement said on Saturday that the former footballer was 'in a critical condition due to a septic shock of intestinal origin.' Previously, Sócrates was taken to hospital twice in August and September this year with bleeding in his digestive tract. After these incidents he admitted that he had problems with alcohol, especially so during his playing career. In a recent television interview, Sócrates said he that had considered alcohol his 'companion' but believed its regular use had never affected his performance on the field. 'Alcohol did not affect my career, in part because I never had the physical build to play this game,' he said. 'Soccer became my profession only when I was already twenty four. I was too thin and when I was young I did not have the opportunity to prepare myself physically for the sport.' Football fans will prefer to remember those balmy nights in Spain in June 1982. And that goal against the USSR. Two body-swerves and a thunderous drive that almost burst the net. Magic.

Gary Speed

Some appalling sad news broke over Sunday lunchtime. The Wales football manager, Gary Speed, has tragically died - an apparent victim of suicide - at the age of forty two. Speed had appeared on BBC1's Football Focus show on Saturday afternoon, just hours before his death and seemed in great spirits. He joked that he thought one of his former clubs, Newcastle United, had a good chance of getting something from their visit to Old Trafford that afternoon. This was, he noted, in marked contrast to his own period playing for the Magpies when they had a shocking record against Manchester United. The presenter, Dan Walker, said that off-camera at the BBC's studios in Salford, Gary had talked enthusiastically about how well his sons were developing as teenage footballers and about his desire to come back on the show before Christmas. He also recorded a separate interview about his high hopes for Wales' forthcoming World Cup qualifying campaign. After the show ended, at 1pm, he met up with Match of the Day pundits Alan Shearer - a close friend with whom Speed had played for six years at Newcastle - and Mark Lawrenson to watch the early Premier League game between Stoke City and Blackburn Rovers. Then, just before 3pm, he made the short journey to Old Trafford to watch Newcastle draw with Manchester United. The match finished shortly before 5pm and it is thought Speed travelled back to his home in Chester where, little more than twelve hours later, he was found dead. As news of the tragedy spread, the world of football queued up to pay tribute to Speed. His death was confirmed in a statement by the Football Association of Wales. The statement said: 'We extend our sympathies and condolences to the family. We ask that everyone respects the family's privacy at this very sad time.' A spokeswoman for Cheshire Police said: 'At 7.08am today, Cheshire Police was informed of a sudden death at an address in Huntington, Chester. Officers went to the scene where a forty two-year-old man was found dead. The next of kin have been informed and have confirmed the identity of the man as Gary Speed. There are no suspicious circumstances surrounding the death. The family have requested that they are left in peace to grieve at this difficult time. A family tribute will be released at a later date, but not today.' Speed had taken over the Wales job in December 2010, and after some early disappointments, performances and results had begun to rapidly improve. He said earlier this month that the side's improvement had exceeded all of his expectations. A 4-1 friendly win over Norway represented a third successive victory for Wales, and Speed's fifth win in ten games in charge - seeing his country rise in the FIFA rankings by over fifty places in just nine months. He noted: 'We've progressed further than I'd have thought in this space of time but we've still got a lot of work to do.' Speed won eighty five caps playing for his country during a fourteen-year international career. A national hero, he was given the top job in Welsh football despite only having four months managerial experience with Sheffield United. His former Wales team-mate Ryan Giggs said: 'I am totally devastated. Gary Speed was one of the nicest men in football and someone I am honoured to call a team-mate and friend. It goes without saying my thoughts are with his family at this tremendously sad time.' The Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish, who had signed Speed for Newcastle in 1998, released forward Craig Bellamy from his squad for Sunday's match against Manchester City, saying that Bellamy 'was very, very close to Gary.' Another former Wales team-mate, Robbie Savage, tweeted: 'The world has lost a great man in Gary Speed. I'm devastated. Spoke to him yesterday morning. I'll miss him so much. He came to watch Strictly three-to-four weeks ago. I high-fived him in the front row. He loved the show, he loved life, he loved his family. Devastated.' Alan Shearer said: 'Gary was a magnificent person, bright, fun and a wonderful family man - he lit up every room he walked into. I am proud to have been his friend and will miss him dreadfully.' Former Wales international John Hartson was due to work on the BBC's radio commentary of Swansea versus Aston Villa but was too upset to cover the game. A superb left-sided attacking midfielder, Speed had a glorious twenty year career as a player, mostly at the very top level of the English game. He played professionally for Leeds United, Everton, Newcastle United, Bolton Wanderers and Sheffield United between 1988 and 2009. Rarely troubled by injury - until late in his career - or suspension, Gary held the record for the most appearances in the FA Premier League at five hundred and thirty five, until it was surpassed by David James in 2009. (He's still third on the all-time list behind James and Ryan Giggs.) Born in Mancot, Flintshire in 1969, Gary began his career with Leeds United as a teenage protege, making his league debut when he was aged nineteen. He went on to play a key role as Leeds won promotion from the old Second Division in 1990 during his first full season and, then, as the club took the last ever First Division championship title in 1992 as part of a midfield which also comprised Gordon Strachan, Gary McAllister and David Batty. Fast, mobile, direct, hugely skillful and with keen eye for goal, Speed also featured in Leeds's League Cup final defeat against Aston Villa in 1996. The flags at Leeds United's Elland Road ground were lowered to half-mast and fans laid tributes of shirts and scarves. The club said it was 'stunned and saddened.' Howard Wilkinson, Speed's manager at Leeds, praised him as 'an ordinary, very honest, very genuine, very committed and hard-working bloke.' After three hundred and twelve appearances (fifty seven goals) for Yorkshiremen, he moved to Everton - the team whom he had supported as a boy - in 1996, for a fee of three and a half million pounds. His spell at Goodison Park was not a great success, although he was club captain and, probably, the best player in a rather underachieving Everton side of the period. After sixty five games (seventeen goals) he moved again, to Newcastle United, in February 1998. In his first couple of years at St James' Park, he struggled in another average middle-of-the-table side although the team did get to - and lose - two successive FA Cup finals in 1998 and 1999. But, the arrival of Bobby Robson as manager in 1999 revitalised Speed's career and he enjoyed a glorious Indian summer of three or four years playing some of the best football of his career. Along with the likes of Alan Shearer and Robert Lee he was one of the older heads in Robson's exciting young Newcastle side. He was very much a Robson-type player, the former England manager once describing Speed as 'brave as a lion.' Robson converted Gary into a holding midfielder and, even though his pace was starting to go by then, his vision and tactical awareness helped to bring the best out of many of the youngsters he played with - particularly Craig Bellamy, Nobby Solano, Kieron Dyer and Steven Taylor. Taylor, who came into the first team at St James' Park when Speed was one of the club's senior professionals, expressed his gratitude for the help Gary had given him. 'He helped me through, he was an absolute machine - the best professional in football. He had that aura about him. He always had time for the young lads and helped them feel good about themselves.' After the news of his death broke, Newcastle released a statement expressing their condolences, in which they described Gary as, 'an excellent servant to the club, the ultimate professional, and an exceptional role-model for younger players.' By the time he left the Magpies - many felt he was sold a season or two too early - for Bolton in 2004, he'd played two hundred and eight five times (forty goals) and had helped United back into Europe, including a memorable run in the Champions League in 2002-3. Gary signed for Bolton in a two-year, seven hundred and fifty thousand pound deal in July 2004. He had been capped for Wales eighty five times by this stage, second in the all-time list only to Neville Southall. He was handed his Wales debut as a twenty-year-old in the 1-0 friendly win over Costa Rica in May 1990. After captaining the country a record forty four times, he retired from international football in 2004 after the side's 3–2 defeat to Poland in a World Cup qualifier. He became the first player to make five hundred Premiership appearances when he played in Bolton's 4–0 victory over West Ham United in December 2006. In May the following year, he was named as the First Team coach for Bolton. However in October, he left the job. Conflicting reports of the incident claim then manager, Sammy Lee, relieved him of his duties so he could concentrate on playing. However Speed, in an interview with the Bolton News, claimed that he had chosen to step down himself. Four years at Bolton saw a further one hundred and thirty appearances (fourteen goals) before Gary finally dropped out of the Premier League and ended his career as player-coach at Sheffield United eventually retiring due to a persistent back injury just short of his fortieth birthday. With the 2010–11 season only three games old, United's manager Kevin Blackwell was sacked with Speed being confirmed as his replacement. However, on 11 December 2010, Speed was linked with the vacant Wales manager job and accepted the role as the new Welsh national team manager a week later, succeeding John Toshack who had stepped down in September 2010. Speed was made a Member of the Order of the British Empire in the 2010 Birthday Honours. Gary's professionalism, dignity, intelligence and passion for that game made him one of football's good guys. This blogger's thoughts are with Gary's family, his wife - Louise - and their two young sons - Edward and Thomas - and his many, many friends in the game. One look at former Newcastle team-mate Shay Given, now playing for Aston Villa, in tears on the pitch at Swansea as a minute's silence turned, magnificently, into a minute's applause tells you everything you need to know about Gary Speed and what he meant to people. It's at times like this it's brought home to you that football, great game that it is, is ultimately just a game. Gary Speed. Legend.

But, the game goes on and we, however reluctantly, have to go on with it. Twenty four hours earlier, The Scum of Humanity were held by yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved Magpies in a pulsating match at Old Trafford on Saturday. Javier Hernandez gave United an early second-half lead after Wayne Rooney's volley ricocheted off Steven Taylor before then hitting the Mexican and trickling in. Newcastle drew level from a disputed penalty after Rio Ferdinand was adjudged to have fouled Hatem Ben Arfa with Demba Ba scoring from the spot-kick. Jonas Gutierrez was then sent off for a second bookable offence, Tim Krul made a string of great saves, Ashley Young hit the post, but the Magpies held on. The draw leaves the champions four points behind rivals Manchester City, who travel to Liverpool on Sunday. Newcastle fully deserved a point from a tremendous game after defending stoutly throughout. They were unlucky to go behind in the first place, but with Steven Taylor in particular outstanding in defence, they repulsed everything the home side threw at them afterwards, even when down to ten men for the last fifteen minutes. That Newcastle left Old Trafford with a point also had much to do with Krul's superb goalkeeping performance and the visitors' ability to throw bodies in the way of the ball in a frantic period after Gutierrez's dismissal. Krul somehow got his body in the way of Nemanja Vidic's fierce header while Danny Simpson typified Newcastle's resilience when he cleared a Hernandez effort off the line. At times in that thrilling conclusion, Krul's goal seemed to be protected by a brick wall keeping the ball out of his net as Ashley Young rattled the post with a shot, while a last-gasp Hernandez goal was ruled out after the Mexican strayed offside when he poked home Ryan Giggs's cross. In the opening half Alan Pardew's side had looked to attack at every opportunity with Ben Arfa and Gabriel Obertan effective in creating chances with their vision and touch - both from the centre of the pitch as well as the flanks. Ben Arfa produced the cutest of passes with the outside of his foot to scoop the ball over the United defence to Ba, whose volley tested David de Gea. A cross from Obertan, who was arguably the visitors most effective player in that first half, created Newcastle's best chance, but Ryan Taylor miscued with his volley. However, that Newcastle went in at the break level was primarily to do with Krul's reactions. Early on he saved twice from Hernandez before the Dutch international flung himself to his right to produce a fingertip save from the deftest of flicks from Giggs. Just before the break Newcastle were handed a reprieve when Hernandez miscued with a shot when he probably should have scored. Strangely prior to Saturday, Hernandez had not scored at Old Trafford this season, and he knew little about the goal that ended that run on forty nine minutes. Steven Taylor had fouled Hernandez to win a free-kick just outside the box and although the Newcastle wall blocked Rooney's set-piece shot the England striker was quickly onto the rebound. Rooney's volley went deep into the Newcastle area before ricocheting off Taylor and then off Hernandez into the net. It was a desperately unlucky way to go behind, but the visitors were soon to profit from a contentious penalty that was awarded when Ben Arfa went down after a Ferdinand tackle. Television replays appeared to show the United defender had won the ball reasonably cleanly but the referee, Mike Jones, after consultation with his assistant awarded the penalty. Ba coolly slotted in as De Gea went the wrong way. The Manchester United goalkeeper produced a wonderful save to parry a Fabrizio Coloccini effort, but once Gutierrez had been dismissed Newcastle had only the manpower to concentrate on defending their goal. There were still plenty more heroics to come though, and former Manchester United man Simpson topped them all with the most staggering of goal-line clearances, before Hernandez had his late strike ruled out for offside.

Relegation-haunted Sunderland boss Steve Bruce has insisted that he won't quit despite abuse from fans after a home defeat against Wigan. You're going to have to work harder, you Stadium of Lighters. Take the advice from one who knows. Chants of 'sack the manager' usually bring a, dreaded, vote of confidence. Chants of 'sack the board' usually result in the manager getting the tin-tack. Give it a shot and see if it works

About Bloody Time!

American Samoa's national football team - ranked as the worst international team in the world - has won a game for the first time in its history. The US protectorate managed a 2-1 victory over Tonga after thirty straight defeats coverage almost two decades. Reports said the players and coach of the Pacific nation celebrated as if they had won a major championship. Aw, bless 'em. In 2001 American Samoa infamously lost 31-0 to Australia in a World Cup qualifier - the heaviest defeat in international football history. American Samoa are joint bottom of world governing body FIFA's international rankings. Coach Thomas Rongen said the victory would now be 'part of soccer history. Maybe we have a chance to do something special here beyond this one game, but let's enjoy this one right now,' he said. American Samoa's last and only other win came in the 1983 South Pacific Games, where they beat Wallis and Futuna 3-0.

Reds Fight The Blues

Wigan Athletic chairman Dave Whelan has said that Liverpool's 'scandalous' call for clubs to be able to sell their own overseas TV rights would 'kill half the Premier League.' Liverpool managing director (and greedy waste-of-space cock-bucket) Ian Ayre believes that the current system - where overseas Premier League revenues are shared equally between the twenty Premiership clubs - is 'unfair to bigger teams.' What this has to do with Liverpool who've finished seventh and sixth in last two years in the Premier League is, frankly, beyond this blogger but, there you go. Probably some of that 'wacky Scouse humour' were always hearing so much about. Like Tarby and Stan Boardman and his 'fokkers.' Hilarious. Whelan said: 'I have just read his [Ayre's] comments and I find them diabolical - I just can't believe what he has been saying. It is absolutely scandalous. It would kill Wigan Athletic. It would kill Blackburn.' Liverpool would need at least thirteen other clubs' support for any changes to be made. But Manchester City, Manchester United, Arsenal and Chelsea are all understood to be against it - at least, publicly - and so is just about everybody else with half-a-frigging-brain in their head. The league's rights deal, which expires in 2013, is worth £1.4bn. Ayre wants to adopt the Spanish model of total and utter shit-faced greed, where individual clubs have the freedom to negotiate their own packages based upon their global popularity. Which, for the purposes of this argument seems to mean 'how many cheap and nasty replica tops we sell each year in Malaysia.' Ayre believes that it would generate far more money for 'the top teams,' allowing them to recruit the best players and 'stay competitive in Europe.' And, he believes that Liverpool somehow qualify as one of these 'top teams' who 'can't stay competative' apparently, purely because his team does sell lots of cheap and nasty replica shirts in Malaysia. Despite the fact that - as noted - Liverpool haven't even finished in the top four of the Premier League for the last two seasons. So, essentially, this jumped up little insignificant squirt reckons, despite actual league position, that Liverpool are one of a so-called 'Big Four' in England. One imagines Manchester City at the very least, and Tottenham Hotspur at a push, might both have something to say about that piece of rank and arrant glakery. The Latics chairman Whelan - someone never short of an opinion, on pretty much anything. often (though not in this particular case) nothing whatsoever to do with him or his club) - is quoted by several newspapers as saying: 'It is the "American Dream," this?' Which isn't, actually, a proper sentence, but never mind. 'They are thinking "How can we get more money?" But you won't get more money by killing the heart and soul of the Premier League and of football in England. The worst thing for English football is for teams like Liverpool - the Top Four let's say - who want to get rid of virtually half the Premier League. We will finish up like the Spanish league with just two teams in it, no competition, no anything, no heart and soul in the league. What we have is the finest league in the whole world and what Liverpool are calling for would absolutely wreck it. The likes of Wigan, Bolton, Blackburn, Wolves, Sunderland and Newcastle couldn't compete.' Latics manager Roberto Martinez agrees, arguing that the Spanish model has 'not worked' in his native country. 'Real Madrid and Barcelona are getting richer and the others are finding it harder, year by year, to compete. That is great for the two football clubs but no good for the league. The good thing we have [in England] is the competitive edge. That is there for a reason. We should realise why.' Asked whether fans in Spain are starting to get bored by the dominance of their own Big Two, Martinez said: 'Yes. They end up supporting Barcelona or Real Madrid. They don't support their own [local] teams because they are not competing. You end up splitting Spain into two football teams. The league suffers.' Liverpool don't, really seem to have any supporters in this thing, with other clubs scrambling to distance themselves from the proposals and the Sports Minister Hugh Robertson believing that the 'provocative' idea would 'lead to an erosion of the competitiveness of domestic football.' Robertson continued that the Premier League, which he describes as the country's 'greatest sporting export,' would not be best served by Liverpool's idea. So, here's an idea for Ian Ayre, then: Why don't Liverpool simply sod off and set up their own one-team league so they can win it every year? Let's see how many replica shirts you can sell in Malaysia then you plank.

The Greed Roadshow

A spokesperson for Liverpool football club has suggested that it will challenge the arrangement which sees Premier League clubs share equally the billions earned each season from overseas TV rights deals. 

Ian Ayre, Liverpool's managing director, said that change to the established broadcast deal, worth around £3.2bn to all twenty Premier League clubs from 2010 to 2013, is a 'debate that has to happen.
' The Anfield club would prefer to move to the Spanish La Liga model, which enables Spain's top teams - Real Madrid and Barcelona - to negotiate their own, extremely lucrative contracts with foreign broadcasters. 

The Premier League has focused on collective selling of TV rights since its inception in 1992, involving each club getting an equal share but with bonus amounts awarded for finishing in higher positions. Any change to this system would most likely anger smaller clubs worried at the potentially widening gulf between them and the top teams. In the last round of negotiations, the Premier League was able to more than double international revenue from TV rights, from six hundred and twenty five million smackers in 2007 to 2010 to £1.4bn for 2010 to 2013. Action from the league is now shown in two hundred and twelve countries - which is pretty good considering there are, according to the United Nations, only two hundred and four countries in the world - via ninety eight broadcast partners. It is widely expected that the next deal will be even bigger. But Ayre believes that the 'big four' clubs - by which apparently he means Liverpool, Manchester United, Chelsea and Arsenal - should be able to tap into their own popularity overseas to sell TV rights. The arrogance of which would be staggering were it not for the fact that it's pretty much what we've come to expect from these jokers. And, by the way, if we're talking about a 'big four' in England then why are either Liverpool or Arsenal in there when Manchester City aren't? I'm just saying. 'Personally I think the game-changer is going out and recognising our brand globally,' the Liverpool managing director swaggeringly told BBC Radio Merseyside using that dreadful 'global market bollocks-speak so loathed by the vast majority of football supporters. You know the people who - in theory, at least, pay your sodding wages, Ian. Of course, as the vast majority of the pimps, the liars and the thieves who run our football clubs will be delighted to tell us, gone are the days when fans coming through the turnstiles can dictate pretty much anything to the - frequently absentee - chairmen and directors who have wormed their way into the heart of the game. But, as we've noted on this blog many times in the past, you can bet your bottom quid that if next Saturday nobody turns up at any Premier League match all of them, collectively, would shit in their own pants and run a mile looking for a way out. 'Maybe the path will be individual TV rights like they do in Spain. There are so many things moving in that particular area,' he continued. Sadly, ladies and gentlemen, this is exactly what's killing football. The measure of a club's success or failure is no longer anything to do with how they perform on the field but, rather, how many cheap and nasty replica shirts they sell in Malaysia. That's why Premier League clubs attract the owners they do - the floggers of mucky mags, dodgy sports gear that falls to pieces when you get it home or shady foreign wide boys out to make a quick killing. Either that or, in the case of two or three, a play thing for a man with more money than sense until they get bored with it and want to play with something else. Greed is what runs English football now, dear blog reader. Greed mixed with fear of failure. Everybody's scrambling to get to the big table for their lick from the trough but, a few of those who've been there for a while don't want to share their  moolah with Norwich and Swansea, with Blackpool and Hull. They want it all to themselves. And, what's more, they don't want Sunderland to have much either. Or Newcastle. Or Everton. Or Stoke. And, certainly not Fulham, Wigan or Bolton. Because they're nothing. Little squirts whom the big boys kindly allow to tread the same field as them. But, heaven help them if they start getting all uppity with ideas above their stations and actually go to Anfield and give the Thieving Scouse Schleps a beating. That's just not part of the plan. In the playground we call such filthy, full-of-their-own-importance bastards what they actually are, bullies. Ayre added: 'What is absolutely certain is that, with the greatest of respect to our colleagues in the Premier League, but if you're a Bolton fan in Bolton, then you subscribe to Sky because you want to watch Bolton. Everyone gets that. Likewise, if you're a Liverpool fan from Liverpool, you subscribe. But if you're in Kuala Lumpur there isn't anyone subscribing to Astro, or ESPN to watch Bolton, or if they are it's a very small number. Whereas the large majority are subscribing because they want to watch Liverpool, Manchester United, Chelsea or Arsenal.' Have you ever noticed, dear blog reader, how whenever anybody uses the phrase 'with the greatest respect too...' they're about to say something staggeringly disrespectful to someone? T'was always thus. So, well add rude to arrogant and greedy, then. 'So, is it right that the international rights are shared equally between all the clubs? Some people will say: "Well you've got to all be in it to make it happen." But isn't it really about where the revenue is coming from, which is the broadcaster, and isn't it really about who people want to watch on that channel? We know it is us. And others. At some point we definitely feel there has to be some rebalance on that, because what we are actually doing is disadvantaging ourselves against other big European clubs.' Oh boo-hoo. My heart sodding bleeds for you. This, remember, is from a club that could afford to spend thirty five million smackers on Andy Carroll just eight months ago. I don't see you being too 'disadvantaged,' you disgraceful Scouse chancers. For the breakaway to go ahead, it would require fourteen of the Premier League's twenty clubs to back the move - so that means it's never going to happen. Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson recently claimed that clubs should get more from overseas rights, but also said that the collective bargaining system was 'fair.' It it also the case that La Liga's individual system has attracted much criticism within Spain and elsewhere due to the ease with which Real Madrid and Barcelona have gained a massive financial advantage over their rivals. But Ayre believes that the current situation in the Premier League risks the so-called 'top clubs' (and, once again, let us marvel at the fact that he's including his own in that bracket) from 'losing ground' on their overseas rivals. Which, coming from a club that haven't been in the Champions League for either of the last two seasons because they finished seventh and then sixth and behind the likes of Tottenham Hotshot, Sheikh Yer Manchester City and, on one occasion Aston Villains, in the Premier League might suggest that they should be thinking about getting their priorities right before they worry about 'the top clubs in Europe.' They could start by winning their next couple of matches and getting past yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though still unsellable) Magpies and into fourth place in the Premiership. Cart before the horse, guys, cart before the horse. 'If Real Madrid or Barcelona or other big European clubs have the opportunity to truly realise their international media value potential, where does that leave Liverpool and Manchester United?' Love the way this clown has suddenly started speaking for another club. One that actually has been in the Champions League for the last two years. As have Real Madrid and Barcelona. Which, just to repeat, Liverpool have not. Because - in the words of Andy Cameron - they 'didne qualify.' Which was funny, frankly. 'We'll just share ours because we'll all be nice to each other?' he said, sarcastically. 'The whole phenomenon of the Premier League could be threatened. If they just get bigger and bigger and they generate more and more, then all the players will start drifting that way and will the Premier League bubble burst because we are sticking to this equal-sharing model? It's a real debate that has to happen.' Greedy effing Scouse whingers. Some things, it seems, never change.

A Thousand Days

Aston Villa and yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though still unsellable) Newcastle United extended their unbeaten starts to the season to five games after an entertaining draw at Villa Park on Saturday. Both teams remain unbeaten this season but that is one of the few positives which Alex McLeish can have taken from a match in which his team were outplayed for long periods. Gabriel Agbonlahor's third goal of the season was one of the other plus points, but it was cancelled out by a Leon Best equaliser and The Magpies came close to scoring a winner several times. Villa had to endure a testing start as the visitors — tidy and ambitious – exerted early pressure. One methodical move resulted in Yohan Cabaye finding space for a shot from the edge of the area in the sixth minute, but his swerving effort flew just wide. A Ryan Taylor free-kick from the edge of the area in the twelfth minute failed to trouble Shay Given but moments later the goalkeeper had to backpedal frantically tip a shot-cum-cross from Gabriel Obertan over the bar. The home side took the lead from their first purposeful attack. Barry Bannan, operating primarily on the right of midfield, switched to the left and curled a cross towards the penalty spot. Fabricio Coloccini blocked Agbonlahor's first-time shot but the ball then fell kindly for the striker, who rolled it gratefully into the net from six yards past Tim Krul. Despite Newcastle's domination, Darren Bent should have put Villa two up in the twenty sixth minute but steered the ball wide from close range after being set up by Stiliyan Petrov. As the first half ebbed away Villa began to retreat ever more. Given had to make a good save from Steven Taylor. Then Jonás Gutiérrez snatched badly at a shot from fifteen yards out after being teed-up by Danny Simpson. Just before the break a close-range attempt on the turn by Demba Ba was deflected over. Villa made a better start to the second period. Agbonlahor could have extended their lead in the forty seventh minute but fired fractionally wide from fifteen yards. But Newcastle quickly re-established control and their equaliser arrived in the fifty seventh minute. The impressive Cheik Tioté delivered an inswinging cross from the left that eluded Richard Dunne. Given blocked Best's close-range header with his feet but the striker slammed the rebound into the roof of the net. Newcastle continued to dominate but a mistake by Steven Taylor in the seventieth minute presented Bent with a chance to score against he run of play. However, his lob over the onrushing goalkeeper lacked power and Taylor was able to recover and clear. Cabaye nearly gave the visitors the victory with a swirling twenty-yard volley in the dying minutes but Given produced a superb save. The Frenchman had another chance moments later from a cross by substitute Sylvain Marveaux but he stabbed wide from an acute angle.

Brazil has begun its countdown for the 2014 World Cup, one thousand days before it hosts the football tournament. President Dilma Rousseff launched the event at a stadium in Belo Horizonte alongside the footballing legend Pele, who is Brazil's World Cup ambassador. Rousseff promised the new stadiums and other infrastructure required would be ready on time, despite major difficulties and delays. The tournament will kick off on 12 June 2014. Before then, Brazil must build or upgrade twelve stadiums. Many of them are behind schedule and over budget. At some, construction workers have been on strike - including the Maracana in Rio de Janeiro where the final will be played and the Mineirao ground in Belo Horizonte where President Rousseff started the countdown. Building work on the new Itaquerao stadium in Sao Paulo - which is hoping to host the opening game - only began in May. Brazil must also deliver huge infrastructure developments such as roads and airport terminals so that fans can move between the twelve venues spread across the huge country. Much of that transport infrastructure is anyway badly needed to meet the demands of Brazil's booming economy and expanding middle class. 'Investing in infrastructure is a way of saying no to the international crisis affecting countries in the Eurozone and the US,' Rousseff said. The 2014 World Cup will be the first in South America since Argentina hosted the tournament in 1978, and the first in Brazil since 1950. Correspondents say that most Brazilians are confident they will make a success of hosting the tournament - after all, they have already won the World Cup five times. Rio de Janeiro is also due to host the Olympic Games in 2016. The two tournaments are being seen as statements of Brazil's emergence as a rising global economic power of the Twenty First Century, much as the 2008 Beijing Olympics served as a calling card for China's confident new role on the global stage.

Stadium of Plight?

Anyone watching Sky's Football First last night might've been more than a shade startled and/or perfectly terrified by Sarah-Jane Mee's rapidly growing darza of a beehive.

Jesus, if that gets much taller it'll be poking through the roof, love. What do you think this is, 1963?

Of course, if you were watching Football First there can only have been one reason. And it wasn't Sarah-Jane's honey-dripping beehive. Or Paul Walsh's barely monosyllabic comments (it's not a sprint, like, its a marafon, the Premier League, innit?') it was for the most important game of the day, if not indeed the whole season. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though still unsellable) Magpies continue to hold the upper hand in recent Tyne-Wear derbies as Ryan Taylor's whippy free-kick earned them a win over The Disgraceful Mackems Slime. The hosts - who've getting been a bit uppity of late what with all their 'we've signed more players than you' malarkey and, frankly, needed a good slapping down and putting in their place - had more possession for most of the first half and the opening exchanges of the second although they had about as much penetration as a ... hang on a sec. Careful Sarah, will you, you could have someone's eye out with that thing. Right, back to the match. Joey Barton - having spent the week, as usual, as public enemy number one of every scum newspaper in the country (he's responsible for all of the ills in the world, you know? The riots? That was Joey Barton. The situation in Syria? Yep , that's Joey too) was denied a goal when his header was punched over the bar by Sebastian Larsson. Appeals for a penalty were turned down by Howard Webb. And his guide dog. Of course, if it had been the other way around and it had been Barton on the line sticking his arms up, no doubt he would have been up before the FA on a charge on 'being a bastard' first thing on Monday morning. It looked for a while as though that incident might prove pivotal in the match but Taylor's free arrow-like kick flew straight in on sixty two minutes. Miss Stéphanie Sessègnon and Asamoah Gyan both had chances for Sunderland, whilst Phil Bardsley was sent off late in the game for a ghastly and crude two-footed tackle on Fabricio Coloccini that could have broken the Argentine's leg. Fortunately, although the game was keenly-contested it did not quite reach boiling point - despite Lee Cattermole spending most of the ninety minutes going round kicking anything that moved (and, anything that didn't just in case it tried). Victory for Alan Pardew's side means that Newcastle are unbeaten in four league games against their North-East rivals. In fact, they've only lost once at Blunderland since 1980. You know, Andy O'Brien, Liam O'Brien, any any any O'Brien ... and all that. Now, it seems, it's Oh, Ryan. Heh. Sorry. Anyway, the manager will have been happy to earn three points during a taxing week following all of the crassly hyped controversy of their match against Arsenal last weekend. And, let's face it four points out of a possible six from the opening two games with no goals conceded by a team with, supposedly, a traditionally weak defence is decent in anyone's language. Although, given the way Arsenal are playing at the moment, last week might come to be regarded as two points dropped rather than one gained. Webb will probably be content, too, that the incident involving Barton did not decide an otherwise tough but entertaining match. Blunderland will doubtless be angry that they did not get any reward from a game for which they controlled - in terms of possession if not chances - for large chunks. But, they lacked any sort of cutting edge up front. It was not quite as bad as last autumn's 5-1 pants down thrashing at St James' Park for Fat Steve Bruce, but this was still a very bad result for the - alleged - boyhood Newcastle fan who must be well pissed off that his next home game is against Moscow Chelski FC. Bruce's side set the tempo early on with Sessègnon effective in a hole between Newcastle's midfield and defence. It wasn't long before the Benin international carved out the first chance for the home side, but his fierce shot was tipped over by Tim Krul. Deployed as a holding midfielder alongside an uncharacteristically off-the-pace Cheik Tioté in Pardew's 4-2-3-1 formation, Barton, who attempted too many ambitious long passes, failed to prevent Blunderland enjoying the better of the first half. Just as it looked as though a Blunderland goal may come, the tide was stemmed by a moment of controversy on fifteen minutes. From a corner Barton nodded Shola Ameobi's header towards goal and it struck Larsson's arm as it was heading for the top of the net. Pandemonium inside the Stadium of Shite. The Geordies went mental. The Mackems just stood around looking a bit shamefaced and Larsson's 'who, guv? Me, guv?' charged towards the linesman to protest his innocence and claim he'd headed it was, frankly, a bit 'the lady doth protest too much.' TV replays subsequently justified Barton's righteous sense of frustration and despite appeals from Newcastle's players to Webb and his assistant (and his dog), the end result was but a corner. Yohan Cabaye was perhaps fortunate only to pick up a booking for a dangerous-looking high tackle on Bardsley, and several players went into the book in the second half as the temperature rose on the pitch. Not only a lovely passer of the ball, the former Lille playmaker showed he can put his foot in, too. More constructively, though, Cabaye forced Simon Mignolet into a fine save courtesy of a curving, dipping, long-range strike. Looks like Newcastle might've signed a good'un in the Frenchie. But Bruce's side remained in the ascendancy as Sessegnon again worked Krul and Gyan clipped the top of the bar with a left-foot curler just before half-time. That left Newcastle looking to break on the counter and target Ameobi from deep corners. Although Cabaye had another swerving shot saved, they made few inroads in the first half. Blunderland began the second half in quieter fashion and that, along with Ryan Taylor's supreme accuracy swung the game back in favour of the visitors. Jonas Gutierrez served notice of his intent with a shot on the hour, and it was the Argentine who was brought down - by Cattermole - for the free-kick which led to Taylor's strike. From the left the defender arrowed his kick into the top right corner, past a flailing Mignolet, and although Steven Taylor aimed to get a touch on it at the back post, the ball flew straight in to give the Newcastle fans The Horn. Coloccini and Steven Taylor – later joined by Mike Williamson as Pardew switched to a flat back five – remained as solid as the eight-foot metal barrier that police had erected outside the stadium to separate rival fans. Bookings for Cattermole and Barton predictably followed and the latter also had the ball in the back of the net late on but was rightly ruled for a marginal but clear offside. Further chances came for Gyan and substitute Craig Gardner, who made his Blunderland debut and young Dan Gosling should have sewn it up for The Glorious Magpies in injury time having been put through one-on-one by Ameobi's delicate flick-on. But, his arse fell out and he shot weakly at Mignolet. Nevertheless, it was a welcome relief that Taylor's goal proved to be the difference between the sides rather than any moment of controversy or discombobulation. While Bardsley's sending off was thoroughly deserved, it served as a mere footnote to a passionate, tough encounter and capped a frustrating afternoon for The Disgraceful Mackem Slime. Which, let's face it, is always a good thing.

Same Old Arsenal, Always Down To Ten Men!

The Premier League kicked off its 2011-12 season with a day of, frankly, not a lot of excitement. Only six matches were played due to a combination of Sky's schedules and Tottenham Hotshots being too ruddy scared to go out in public in case they got rioted against. In the games that were played Arsenal and Liverpool dropped points against the Geordies and the Mackems, and Poor Old Queens Park Rangers Nil had the sort of opening day that promoted clubs usually dream about. If they've eaten lots of cheese before they went to bed. Gervinho managed to get his ass sent off on his Arsenal debut as Arsène Wenger's side made an unconvincing start to life without Cesc Fábregas and Samir Nasri. It was inevitable, of course. Joey Barton has been the centre of attention all summer on Tyneside - for all sorts of reasons - and he was again in the thick of it at St James' Park on Saturday. With just over a quarter of an hour left the game degenerated into bad-tempered controversy. Gervinho appeared to dive rather theatrically in the penalty area attempting to make a bit of a meal of a hefty-but-fair challenge by Cheick Tioté. The referee, Peter Walton, was having none of it. Barton came across to tell Gervinho to get on with the game and did so. Forcefully. By grabbing him by the scruff of the neck. Steven Taylor tried to intervene and split them up when Gervinho slapped Barton across his mush. That Barton went down as if one of the Klitschko brothers had chinned him was hardly valorous but Gervinho was crassly stupid to do what he did. It was history repeating for Arsenal. In their last visit, that dramatic 4-4 in January, Abou Diaby had been sent off for pushing over Barton. (As the lads at nufc.com noted: 'It was almost the same as last year, just minus the eight goals.') Even earlier in this weekend's game, Barton felt - probably justly - that Alex Song should have been sent to the stands for stamping on him. He clearly gets under this Arsenal team's skin - which is one very good reason why he should be a national treasure - as evidence by Arsene Wnger stalking down the touchline at the end of the game seemingly about to give Barton a mouthful of je ne sais quoi before thinking better of it. Which was a first. Of course, the incident brought out both the best and the worst in pretty much everyone - this blogger very much included. I loved, for instance, Danny Baker's full-hearted defence of Barton on Twitter: 'Arsenal are phoney whiney tough guys - like the cast of Glee doing Scarface. Love the idea that Joey Barton alone is spoiling football from being a parade of graceful athletes. People hurrying past Song to hate him. Football is not the beautiful game. It is the world's drama, theatre, catharsis, riot. The Joey Barton's will never be an advertisers puppy.' Contrast that, for example, with the thoroughly odious and worthless Brian Woolnaugh's 'won't somebody please think of the children!' hysterics on Soccer Supplement on Sunday morning, which appeared to be one short step away from blaming the London riots, the imprisonment of Nelson Mandela and the murder of the Kennedys on Barton. 'Who died and made Brian Woolnough an oracle on football? Has this nugget ever been part of a team or played any form of the game?' asked Barton. No, but he does work for a newspaper that makes up quotes to substantiate non-stories and, previously, worked for an organisation - News International - which hacked the voicemail of a murdered schoolgirl and the relatives of other victims of crime. So, you know, no one is innocent is all I'm saying. That Barton was even playing would have seemed impossible ten days ago. There has been a rapprochement with the club and he may yet stay for the season. His selection was certainly popular with the crowd. They cheered his name loudest when the teams were read out and chanted it before kick off. Barton responding with a salute. The Arsenal crowd made their feelings clear, too. Even before the red card, this was a flat and sterile performance against a Magpies side that struggled to keep sustained possession for large chunks of the game. With twenty minutes left the Arse support was chanting for Wenger to 'spend some of your fucking money.' And they kept chanting it. Most of Arsenal's chances came from Newcastle mistakes rather than their own creativity. Tim Krul came closest to scoring for the visitors, nearly pushing into his own net under pressure from Laurent Koscielny, Danny Simpson clearing off the line. For the home side, Alan Pardew tried to do something about his team's one dimensional approach at half-time. He kept them in the dressing room much longer than Wenger did Arsenal and when they emerged the unimpressive Demba Ba had been replaced by Gabriel Obertan, who took up a position in the hole behind the not-much-better Shola Ameobi. He was impressive in the role and will surely start the next game in a midfield that also includes the interesting-looking, if apt-to-go-missing-for-a-while Yohan Cabaye. Indeed Newcastle were much the better side in the second half albeit without ever really creating a clear cut chance. An expectant Anfield was left just as disappointed as Wenger's men as Kenny Dalglish's much changed and very expensive Liverpool kicked off the new season with a rather tame 1-1 draw at home to Blunderland. Luis Suarez missed from the penalty spot before heading his side into a first-half lead, only for debutant Sebastian Larsson to silence the Kop after the break with a majestic leveller on the volley. Eighty million quid and you can't even beat the Mackems. Dear, oh dear. Top-flight new boys Norwich City and QPR experienced contrasting fortunes on their respective returns to the big time. While Norwich were grinding out a creditable point on their travels to Wigan Athletic, Neil Warnock's Hoops were being comprehensively spanked by a Bolton side who strolled to a 4-0 victory in the capital. Wolves were not as emphatic but no less impressive as they came from behind to claim a 2-1 win at Blackburn Rovers which will put a smile on that miserable oaf Mick McCarthy's boat. The day's other goalless stalemate ensued in the capital as Fulham drew a blank against a resolute Aston Villa, who marked Alex McLeish's bow in the dugout with a decent point. A Liverpool side which included new boys Charlie Adam, Jordan Henderson, Stewart Downing and Jose Enrique as well as January purchases Suarez and Andy Carroll, impressed in the first half at Anfield but faded thereafter as Sunderland left Merseyside with a share of the spoils. Suarez was at the epicentre of all that intrigued during an enterprising opening period. On five minutes he looked odds-on to score as he rounded Simon Mignolet in Sunderland's goal following a rapid Liverpool counter-attack, only to be hauled down by Kieran Richardson. Phil Dowd showed some opening day goodwill in brandishing a yellow card rather than a red one, with the home side's ire exacerbated when Suarez blazed the resulting penalty wildly over the crossbar. It was a disappointment that proved to be short lived. A trademark Adam delivery from a set-piece wide on the right saw Suarez stoop to connect with a header from close range on twelve minutes, which beat Mignolet's flailing efforts with his feet. Whatever Steve Bruce said at the interval in the away side's dressing room had the desired effect. When it arrived Larsson's leveller was a thing of rare beauty, as Stephane Sessegnon's deep cross slung in from the right was met with a delectable scissor kick that left Jose Reina rooted. Having endured a summer of considerable uncertainty and too many chicken jokes, Blackburn Rovers supporters were handed a fillip on twenty minutes at Ewood Park as Jason Roberts bulldozed through a Wolves backline that parted like the Red Sea, allowing the Argentine Mauro Formica to angle a low drive past Wayne Hennessey. It was a lead they held for just two minutes as a bright Wolverhampton move down the right culminated with Matthew Jarvis dinking a smart ball to the back post that allowed Steven Fletcher to climb above Michel Salgado to level. If Salgado was susceptible for Wolves' first he was almost certainly culpable for the second, as his mistimed tackle on Jarvis after the break culminated in a spot-kick. Kevin Doyle's effort was meek and easily repelled by Paul Robinson but when from the resulting scramble the ball fell to Stephen Ward, his sweeping volley from the edge of the box was perfectly executed as it nestled in the corner. Bolton stopper Gary Cahill will have impressed the watching scouts at Loftus Road as his effort on the stroke of half-time deflated Queen's Park Rangers' top-flight return and set the ball rolling for a 4-0 mauling that ended in Clint Hill being sent-off at the death for violent conduct. Cahill's goal was a strike of genuine quality as he took debutant Chris Eagles' pass before bending a sumptuous twenty-yard left-foot drive beyond Paddy Kenny's despairing dive. In truth the party atmosphere lasted less than ten minutes as the familiar sight of Kieron Dyer on a stretcher had the club's board counting the cost of Neil Warnock's gamble on the one-time England man. Subsequent x-rays showed that Dyer did not suffer a broken foot as had been speculated. Dyer has been plagued by injuries throughout his career, managing only thirty five appearances during his four seasons with the Hamsters after sustaining a broken leg and also suffering with a recurring hamstring problem. Injuries also affected his time at Newcastle, when hamstring trouble kept him sidelined for several periods. Dyer should probably look on the bright side, however - let's face it if he'd been a horse he'd've been shot by now. It got no better for the Hoops after the interval. Eagles was the architect again for Bolton's second as his whipped in free-kick took a deflection before Danny Gabbidon inexplicably stuck out his foot to edge the ball over his own goal line. Further insipid defending was punished as the difference between the Championship and Premier League was exposed again, as Ivan Klasnic was afforded too much time to get his shot away from the edge of the box, with Kenny again caught off guard by an unfortunate deflection. With Bolton buoyant three became four before full-time as Fabrice Muamba coolly converted Klasnic's slide-rule pass with consummate ease. Ritchie de Laet endured a nightmare on his Norwich debut as his trip in the area on Franco di Santo allowed Wigan midfielder Ben Watson to emphatically register from the penalty spot. With Paul Lambert a typically energetic presence on the touchline the Canaries dug deep and after Grant Holt missed a gilt-edged opportunity from close range, team-mate Wesley Hoolahan showed him how to do it when he punished a fumble from Ali Al Habsi on the stroke of half-time to lash home a leveller. Both teams were guilty of profligacy in front of goal in the second half as Watson went closest to conjuring a winner as his crisp strike cracked the post. A drab goalless affair ensued in West London as Fulham and Aston Villa could not be separated. John Arne Riise came close to capping his Premier League debut for the Cottagers with a goal only to see his effort drift narrowly wide. Both sides had half chances thereafter but a stalemate that will not live long in the memory will do little to silence those who feel both sides lack sufficient options in attack. Tomorrow, Moscow Chelski FC and The Scum get their seasons underway whilst Sheikh Yer Man City have to wait until Monday to have a go at promoted Swansea.

And, the main question to be asking after watching it all on Match of the Day, though, was who the hell had done that to Shearer's hair? On his forty first birthday an'all. That's just not right. Once upon a time a world of centre halves trembled and used to get an elbow in the face for just looking at him in a funny way. Now somebody's done that to his barnet and, seemingly, got away with it.

You can tell me who it was, Al, I'll fix him for you.

I Predict A Riot

The Times and Daily Torygraph have attacked football's governing bodies as the lockout of sports journalists from matches over media accreditation disrupted newspaper reports over the weekend, with Tuesday night's coverage of the Carling Cup also expected to be hit like one of Peter Lorrimer's thunderbolt free kicks. Newspaper coverage of the opening matches of the football season was hit as sports journalists from national titles, news and picture agencies were locked out of all but a handful of the thirty six games, after talks broke down on Wednesday night between the Premier League, Football League and a media coalition. Many, but not all, national newspapers dropped match reports over the weekend, with a number also dropping, or limiting, mentions of sponsors' names. Many regional newspapers which take copy and pictures from news and picture services were also affected after the Press Association, a major supplier of sports content, said on Friday that it would not be covering any Football League fixtures over the weekend.

On Monday The Times opted to raise the issue in its third leader on page two, calling the opening weekend of the new season 'a farce' and saying that administrators at the football bodies 'could not be more inept. Instead of encouraging maximum coverage of matches on a marquee weekend, football's ruling bodies have minimised the projection of their product, to the detriment of fans and sponsors alike,' the paper said. Henry Winter, the Torygraph's highly respected football correspondent, called the football bodies 'short-sighted' and argued that the lockout was 'a spectacular own goal. How naïve are the leagues? Do they not want publicity? Do they not appreciate that newspapers, whether in print, online or via Twitter, keep fanning the flames of supporters' interest in clubs?' he said in a piece published on Saturday evening. 'The intelligent clubs understand the mutually beneficial relationship between them and newspapers. Rapprochement is required before a great sport suffers lasting damage.' Winter threatened that if newspapers 'fall out of love' with football they could choose focus more on sports such as cricket or rugby union to make the sport's governing bodies 'realise to their cost what an own goal this ban has been.' The Gruniad also referred to the dispute in its Monday sports section, with Matt Scott reporting that the paper's coverage had been restricted by 'our being denied access to grounds.' One of the key areas of dispute in the agreement is outdated live reporting rights – the existing deal dates back to 2003-04, two years before Twitter even launched – which are currently restricted to a number of 'windows' in a game when updates can be provided. A league source close to the negotiations rejected the notion that the football bodies are out-of-touch 'dinosaurs' and argued that newspapers are not being given the full facts on the proposals by the coalition bargaining on their behalf. 'We are not dinosaurs and we understand the mutually beneficial relationship we have with newspapers,' said the source. 'The way it's being painted I can understand the newspapers' reaction, but the feeling is over here is that they're not being given the full facts by the News Media Coalition.' They added: 'The position over Twitter and social media has been totally misrepresented by the News Media Coalition. Journalists will have greater freedom to tweet under the proposed new agreement.' Among the Football League's Championship, League One and League Two clubs which began their season at the weekend, only Brighton & Hove Albion, West Ham United and Accrington Stanley (who are they?) defied the order to bar journalists from matches. Clubs were ordered by the football bodies not to admit reporters from newspapers and media outlets who had not signed a temporary rights deal. The two sides are understood to be no closer to resuming negotiations, meaning that coverage of the thirty two matches of the opening round of the Carling Cup being played on Tuesday night look set to hit. Npower, the title sponsor of the Football League, did not provide an updated comment on the disruption beyond the statement issued on Friday that it 'hopes negotiations can be concluded swiftly.' A spokesman for Premier League sponsor Barclays, which is likely to see coverage of its brand curtailed if an agreement is not reached before kick-off this weekend, said: 'We are not going to pass any comment on this story at as we see it as separate dispute between the Premier League, Football League and the media.' The football bodies have offered media an extension of the existing deal, with a seven-day termination clause so no media outlet is tied to it, with the aim of hammering out an agreement in the first few weeks of the season. The News Media Coalition, which is collectively bargaining for news and picture agencies with the Newspaper Publishers Association, which represents most of the national titles, has rejected this offer.

Still on the subject of footie, Gabriel Obertan is set to move from The Scum to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (but, still unsellable) Magpies on Monday. The twenty two-year-old French winger signed for the Old Trafford club from Bordeaux in July 2009 but failed to gain a regular place in the first team. 'I wanted to bring pace and he will bring us genuine pace,' manager Alan Pardew told BBC Newcastle on Saturday. 'I think away from home last year that was a problem for us hitting teams on the break - Obertan will offer that.' He added: 'He hasn't had many opportunities at Manchester United. I think he'll get more opportunities here and his confidence will grow. He'll become a stronger and a more physical player. Sir Alex is somebody I know well and he thinks he'll do very well for us and so do I. It's done so much as medicals, you don't want to say it's definitely done, but we're looking forward to seeing him.' Obertan is a former attendee of France's famous Clairefontaine academy. He made twenty eight appearances and scored once in regular competition during his time at Manchester United. That strike came in United's 3-0 win away to Turkish side Bursaspor in the Champions League in November 2010. Obertan would become the fifth French speaking player to sign for Newcastle during this transfer window, following the arrivals of Demba Ba, Yohan Cabaye, Sylvain Marveaux and Mehdi Abeid. Add those to the three Frenchies (or, French speakers) they already have in Hatem Ben Arfa, Cheick Tiote and Yven Moyo and it might be a case of onions, frogs legs and a bit of the old ooh-la-la in Les Toon's salle de kit next season. C'est la Vie. Rumours that Monsieur Joey Le Barton has a bit of the hot Latin temperament in him cannot, at this time, be confirmed or denied.

Two football matches have been postponed and questions raised over other sporting events after a third successive night of rioting in London. Tuesday's games at Charlton and West Ham United were called off on police advice. In the case of the latter, it was a pity as this blogger feels that obese buffoon Sam Allardyce could've been given to the rioters for target practice to appease their wrathful and naughty ways. BBC Sport says that it understands the Football Association will 'hold a routine meeting with police' on Tuesday over whether England's friendly with the Netherlands will go ahead. England's cricket team were locked in their hotel ahead of the Test against India amid trouble in Birmingham. The team are staying in the city centre ahead of Wednesday's contest at Edgbaston, with England scheduled the practise at the ground on Tuesday. Batsman Kevin Pietersen relayed the information to broadcaster Piers Morgan in a tweet. 'They have just locked our hotel in Birmingham mate. Riots just started here. Insane,' stated Pietersen on Twitter. His colleague Tim Bresnan added on the social networking site: 'Just seen the rioters in Birmingham fleeing down the main street followed by a load of police in the full get up. What's going on?' It's a riot, mate. You're from Leeds, surely you've seen one of them before? BBC sports news reporter Joe Wilson said on Tuesday that nearby hotels had been advised to lock their doors. He wrote: 'Helicopters circling over Bull Ring, about half mile from England hotel. Spoke to England head of security, confident all players safe.' Meanwhile, the FA will be guided by police advice, but at this stage is planning for Wednesday's game between England and the Netherlands to go ahead. A Metropolitan Police spokesman added: 'Every football match in London is subject to assessment around police resources.' The managing director of Club England, Adrian Bevington, stated that he was heading to Wembley Stadium early on Tuesday to discuss the matter. 'Deplorable scenes of disorder once more - heading into Wembley now for meetings,' he tweeted. Isn't it just beyond great to know that, these days, journalists get all of their information about anything from frigging Twitter? West Ham said in a statement that they were informed by police that 'all major public events in London were to be rearranged because of the need to focus police resources elsewhere.' A Metropolitan Police spokesman said they were aware of the West Ham statement, but were unable to comment on any potential impact on the England game at this stage. Crystal Palace are also set to play Crawley Town at Selhurst Park on Tuesday and that game may also be affected, given the stadium is close to the scene of disorder in Croydon. In London, violence broke out for a third consecutive day with riot police deployed and firefighters tackling blazes across the capital, following disturbances in Tottenham on Saturday evening and Enfield on Sunday night. Shops were looted and buildings, among them a furniture store in Croydon, set alight as police clashed with youths. Meanwhile, rioting spread across London on a third night of violence, with 'unrest' flaring up in other English cities. An extra seventeen hundred police officers were deployed in London, where shops were looted and buildings were set alight. Birmingham, Liverpool, Manchester and Bristol also experienced disturbance. The prime minister has returned early from his holiday to discuss the unrest, which first flared on Saturday after a peaceful protest in Tottenham over the fatal shooting of a man by police. Because, of course, as everyone knows, what's really needed to calm down an inflamed situation is to thieve a new pair of trainers and a wide-screen HD ready telly. West Ham's game against Aldershot was the first to be called off, announcing the news on the Hammers website. Charlton's stadium, The Valley, is close to Lewisham where rioting occurred on Monday. A statement on Charlton's website read: 'Clearly the most important factor is the people's safety. The police have told us they believe the match should be postponed on safety grounds and obviously we have taken that advice.' BBC sports news reporter Leon Mann tweeted: 'Organisers of Ghana v Nigeria tell me game still set to go ahead tomorrow at Watford FC as planned.'

So It Ain't So, Joe!

ESPN has renewed its exclusive broadcast agreements to Italian, Dutch and Russian football, as well as made its English Premier League goals mobile app free to all users. The new deals enable ESPN to continue offering live and exclusive coverage of Italian Serie A, as well as the Dutch Eredivisie and the Russian Premier Liga. ESPN said that it will air at least two matches each week from Italy's top division, alongside Coppa Italia games, and the Italian Super Cup clash between AC Milan and Internazionale this month. It will also broadcast 'dozens' of games each season from the Dutch and Russian top leagues. The Disney-owned broadcaster, which expanded its UK market position in 2009 following the collapse of Setanta UK, will continue to broadcast magazine programme ESPN Kicks - Serie A, alongside weekly highlights and goals from the Eredivisie and the Russian Premier Liga. Jeroen Oerlemans, the vice-president of TV channels at ESPN, said: 'The renewal of these agreements is an excellent result for all football fans in the UK, giving them access to live and exclusive coverage of some of Europe's leading football leagues and competitions. We are building an excellent portfolio of live football and sport on ESPN.' ESPN snapped up the rights to Serie A, along with German, Dutch and Russian football to bolster the reduction of its English Premier League TV rights down to just twenty three games per season in 2010-2011, with Sky holding the remaining one hundred and fifteen. Last month, the broadcaster announced its opening fixtures for the 2011-2012 football season, starting with Newcastle's clash against Arsenal on 13 August. ESPN has also today launched an enhanced version of its ESPN Goals app, the mobile service offering 'near live' highlights of all goals during the Premier League season.

And, speaking of yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (if unsellable) Magpies, Joey Barton will be allowed to leave Newcastle on a free transfer, the club has announced. Relations between the twenty eight-year-old and the club have been strained after contract negotiations broke down earlier in the summer, leading to Barton frequently airing his frustrations on Twitter. 'Newcastle United can confirm that Joey Barton has been placed on the transfer list on Monday,' said a club statement. 'The player has been advised that he can leave the club on a free transfer.' And, as usual, that was all they said, because the idea of them actually letting the supporters of the club know just what the smegging hell is going on up there is, obviously, too much like hard work for the vile and odious Ashley and his mouthpiece. Earlier on Monday, Barton, who has a year remaining on his contract at St James' Park said on Twitter that he would make an announcement on his future at 4pm. But before he could do so, the club made their statement on their website saying he could leave the club for free before the end of his contract. On Sunday, Barton tweeted that there was unrest behind-the-scenes at Gallowgate after the club fined full-back Jose Enrique for accusing the club of 'lacking ambition' also on Twitter. It's worth noting, at this point, and without going into any of the rights and wrongs of all this malarkey that this is one of the main reasons why yer actual Keith Telly Topping dislikes Twitter so much. Because it's almost designed to stir up trouble where keeping ones trap shut in public might, just, not stir up trouble. How many people now - in a variety of different fields - have found themselves sacked, fined, suspended or the subject of tabloid interest - because they've made their mouths go on Twitter? You'd think one or two of them might have learned something by now. 'If only we as players could tell the fans exactly how it is, without them above fining us lots of money. There will be a time and a place,' tweeted Barton. 'If it wouldn't effect [sic] team morale and cause unrest within the dressing room. Am certain Jose's comments would be the tip of the iceberg. And, again, it would be left to those magnificent fans to pick up the remnants of their once great football club. If I wanted to leave, I'd just come out and say "I want to leave." Things need addressing as am not prepared to go through a relegation again. If I didn't care, I'd say fuck all and pick my money up.' Barton has been furiously tweeting on a variety of topics in recent days ranging from criticism of US/UK foreign policy, his impending fatherhood and the sanity of Manchester City's Mario Balotelli. In response to the club's announcement, Barton said: 'Somewhere in those high echelons of NUFC, they have decided I am persona non grata.' Blimey. Joey Barton just used Latin. And correctly, as well. See, he's not just a gormless thug with anger issues. Barton later added: 'I am on a free but the honour of wearing those B+W stripes, surpasses that. One day the board might realise, what the shirt signifies. HONOUR and PRIDE. Thanks for your continued support. Toon Army.' In his final tweet on the subject, Barton also quoted from The Smiths' 'That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore' ('I've seen this happen in other people's lives now it's happening in mine'). And, he's not wrong, you know. It is too close to home and it is too near the bone. Newcastle's owner, the vile and odious Ashley, had hoped to sell the twenty eight-year-old, who joined the Magpies from Manchester City for £5.8m in 2007, this summer but a deal has not materialised. This has also, for the second time in six months, rather spectacularly undermined the latest occupant of the vile and odious Ashley's manager's office, Alan Pardew, who has been making nosies all summer about wanted Barton as part of his side - to the point of making him club captain. Dear blog readers may remember in January Pardew making numerous statements that Andy Carroll would not be sold. Just before Carroll was sold, to Liverpool. Bet you're really regretting taking on this particular poisoned chalice now, Alan. Although, I'm sure the pay's good. After serving a six-month ban from football and a seventy seven-day prison sentence for common assault, Barton has rebuilt his career at St James' Park. Though he clashed with then manager Alan Shearer and was suspended in 2009, he resolved his differences with the club and played a key role in helping the Magpies gain promotion to the Premier League under Chris Hughton in 2010 winning over many supporters who had previously been openly hostile towards his continued presence in the club. Including, it should be noted, yer actual Keith Telly Topping who always admired Barton's ability but considered him at times a liability. For the most part, those rash and violent tendencies were curbed by Barton who seemed to be maturing, rather unexpectedly, into a reasonably decent human being. Last season, he scored four goals and set up nine more as Newcastle ensured their top flight survival by finishing twelfth. For many supporters he was a leading contender for player of the season. Talks on the subject of a new contract were put on hold when Andy Carroll left for Liverpool in January and stalled once more when his good friend and captain Kevin Nolan signed for West Ham, despite Barton saying that he wanted to stay with club. As the club's unofficial fansite nufc.com sensibly notes: 'So, a situation that has festered for over two months comes to a head less than a fortnight before we open up our league season. Good old Newcastle United. That our first game sees us meet Arsenal at SJP is grimly ironic, given that last season's 4-4 draw on Tyneside was a prime example of Joey Barton's positive effectiveness: controlled aggression, coolness from the penalty spot, a refusal to give up the fight and inspiration to galvanise those around him on the field and in the stands. In a word, spirit - the very thing that many fans were relying on Barton to provide this season following the departure of Kevin Nolan. His departure makes us look less United, less threatening and less competitive - in isolation cause for concern but as a whole, a massive worry.' That's what you get for supporting Newcastle, dear blog reader. A club that never has a drama where a crisis won't do in its place.