Thursday 30 August 2018

Infiltrate, Destroy & Exit

Regular listeners to From The North's favourite comedy podcast - Bob Mortimer and Andy Dawson's Athletico Mince - will be well aware of the duo's obsession with The Hapless Steve McClaren. Not just his ridiculous 'hair island', 'clown car' and, ahem, interesting alleged domestic life with The Fat Lass and Casper The Snake, but also his membership of the British Managers Club and their cunning 'infiltrate, destroy and exit' policy. A policy which has previously served McClaren so very well at Derby County (twice), Nottingham Forest, this blogger beloved (though unsellable) Magpies and, most spectacularly, as alleged manager of England. It looks like we can now add Queens Park Strangers to that growing list as, just four games into his reign at Loftus Road, Hapless Steve is looking like a prime candidate for the first Championship managerial large-leaving-bonus 'victim' of the season. McClaren said that his side's calamitous seven-one defeat at West Bromwich Albinos last Saturday was 'unacceptable.' Strangers suffered their largest defeat for more than thirty years and their pants down spanking at The Hawthorns signalled their worst-ever start to a season. Having gone in level at half-time, the Strangers completely capitulated after the break, conceding six goals in just under forty minutes. 'I am shocked, I couldn't believe the collapse,' Hapless Steven told BBC 5Live after the defeat. 'It is unacceptable, we can't have that. It's unacceptable for the fans, it's unacceptable for the club.' He added: 'After conceding the third goal it was too much of a collapse, too much of a shock for myself and it must have been for everyone else. Goals change games but we can't react like that, I've never seen that, it's unacceptable and we mustn't let that happen again.' But, they did, just three days later. On Tuesday, Hapless Steve was insisting that he is still 'the right man' to lead the Strangers after he was mercilessly jeered by Strangers fans following a fourth successive Championship defeat, this time a three-nil hiding at home to Bristol City. The Strangers currently sit rock bottom of the table, still waiting to pick up their first point under Hapless Steve (and his hair island). 'I knew this was a tough job and it wouldn't happen overnight,' the fifty seven-year-old said, rather woefully, at a 'you could've heard a pin drop' press conference after the Bristol game. '[Being booed] is society now. It's the reaction and this is normal. The message to the supporters and it's a difficult one, is patience. Am I determined to put this right? Yes.' Whether Hapless Steve has the ability to do so or, even if he does, whether he will get the chance to before he gets handed his P45 (and a, presumably, quite significant termination pay out) is another matter entirely.
Crewe Alexandra's players will reportedly reimburse the cost of the tickets purchased by the one hundred and fifty three fans who travelled to Tuesday's six-nil defeat at Colchester United, according to manager David Artell. Crewe trailed two-nil inside eight minutes and undefeated Colchester went on to dominate the League Two game. 'The players will put their hands in their pockets, without a shadow of a doubt, because the fans deserve credit for coming all of this way and they don't deserve that,' Artell told BBC Radio Stoke. Artell's side won their opening game of the season six-nil at home to Morecambe on 4 August. Tuesday's loss left them with four points from their first four games.
Rochdale manager Keith Hill has told disgruntled fans who want to see him sacked to call the club's chairman Chris Dunphy and make their request. A foolish thing to say, one could suggest, since it's probably that many of them will, football fans being the bolshy type who really hate to be told what to do by someone who, through their continued patronage of the club, effectively pay the staff's wages. Hill said 'supporters have a choice' after Tuesday's four-nil defeat by Barnsley. 'If you are going to beat us with a stick, just phone the chairman and say you don't want Keith Hill to be the manager,' Hill told BBC Radio Manchester. 'That will be okay, I've got no problem with that whatsoever. I'm sure they would sack me.' Hill also said that fans 'have got to be supporting players better' after Harrison McGahey was the subject of mock applause after being taken off free-kick duties. 'Try to support the players, try to support the football club,' Hill said. 'When Harrison is taking a free-kick, something that he has been working on in pre-season and was delivered perfectly in the sessions and he gets them wrong and then there is a cheer when he is not taking it, that sort of thing really does wind me up. It's our fifth season is succession in League One and we have got to be supporting the players better than that.' Hill is currently in his second spell in charge of the club and led Rochdale to promotion to League One in his first full season back at the helm in 2013-14. He guided the club to top-ten finishes in three successive seasons in the third tier before they narrowly avoided relegation last term. Rochdale have won just one of their four league games to date this season and are eighteenth in the table with four points. Asked if he wants to remain in charge at Spotland, Hill replied: 'Not for people who don't respect me, that is the biggest thing. I've made sacrifices for this job and I really enjoy doing this job with this group of players, for the chairman, Bill Goodwin and the rest of the board of directors and all that work here.'
An undercover investigation that led to odious Sam Allardyce's exit as England manager after sixty seven days was justified in the public interest, a report has found. Allardyce left the England job in 2016 after the Daily Torygraph claimed he told reporters posing as businessmen how to 'get around' player transfer rules. The sixty three-year-old lodged twenty five whinges about the story with the Independent Press Standards Organisation. IPSO found in the paper's favour on twenty two of those points. Allardyce whinged that the 'level of subterfuge' employed by the newspaper in its 'Football for Sale' investigation had been 'unjustified' and that it had published its findings 'in an inaccurate and misleading way.' The former West Hamsters United, Blackburn Vindaloos, Blunderland and Everton manager also claimed that the Football Association was 'too hasty' in deciding he had breached his contract and that 'entrapment won.' Which might've been true, but, it was also pure dead funny. In a statement on Wednesday night, Allardyce said: 'Had the FA stuck to their word and waited to see the Telegraph's evidence (as they originally told me they would) they would have seen the allegations made against me were false. It was of course the allegations about third-party ownership that the FA stated were the reasons for my leaving.' IPSO's complaints committee found that the Torygraph's coverage was 'generally accurate' but that the paper had breached the Editors' Code on three specific points. Allardyce was being filmed as part of a ten-month Torygraph investigation that separately unearthed evidence of bribery and corruption in British football. Of the three complaints upheld by IPSO, one related to a suggestion that Allardyce had 'implied' third parties 'could benefit from transfer fees,' which was not true and two wrongly implied Allardyce had offered to tell the Torygraph's reporters how to break ownership rules. The Torygraph published a correction on Thursday. In very small letters on page twenty seven. Probably. However, IPSO ultimately ruled that the Torygraph's use of subterfuge was 'justified'and 'ni the public interest.' In September 2016, Allardyce was filmed telling undercover reporters that it was 'not a problem' to bypass rules on third-party player ownership and claimed that he 'knew of agents' who were 'doing it all the time.' Third-party ownership - when someone other than the buying and selling club owns a stake in a player, typically an investor - has been banned by the Football Association and world football's governing body FIFA. It is a practice which has been described as 'a form of slavery' by Michel Platini, the (disgraced) former president of European football's governing body UEFA. The Torygraph investigation claimed that a four hundred thousand smackers 'deal' was struck for Allardyce to represent the Far East organisation for which the reporters claimed to work and to be a keynote speaker at events. Allardyce, though, stressed to the reporters that he would first have to 'run that by' his employers at the time, the FA. Allardyce also made fun of his predecessor as England manager Roy Hodgson's speech by referring to him as 'Woy', as well as criticising Gary Neville, one of Hodgson's assistants and making comments about FA president Prince William. He described another member of the Royal Family, Prince Harry, as 'a naughty boy.' Still, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
In an interesting article on the BBC Sport website, Ciaran Varley asks the question Does football have a gambling problem? 'The names of bookmakers and online casinos are all over shirt sponsors, stadium names and TV ads. We've looked into football's relationship with gambling.' To which this blogger can only observe that, given that every single player in the second, third and fourth tiers of English football is currently running around with the words 'Sky Bet' emblazoned on their shirts, From The North reckons the answer to that question is 'Christ, yes.'
It is not unheard of for players to be suspended for head-butting, drop-kicking fans, or even biting and opponent - if you're Luis Suarez. But, being suspended for 'blasphemous remarks' might be a first. Former Juventus midfielder Rolando Mandragora has been suspended for one Serie A game after he was caught on television cameras shouting 'Porca Madonna, Vaffanculo, Dio Cane, an insult to the Virgin Mary, while also referring to God as 'a dog.' So, he's also been suspended for making up a conundrum, seemingly. Countdown contestants, beware. The outburst from the international came after Sampdoria goalkeeper Emil Eudero saved his shot in a game which Mandragora's side, Udinese, won one-nil. The remarks initially went unnoticed by officials during the match, but the Lega Serie A - the competition's governing body - later took the incident to review and suspended the twenty one-year-old. 'After acquiring and examining the relevant television images, the player, while cursing without referring to anybody around him, was nevertheless clearly seen by the television images to make blasphemous remarks, visibly identifiable from reading his lips without any margin for reasonable doubt,' a disciplinary report from the Lega Serie A said. Mandragora, who won the Serie A and Italian Cup with Juve in 2017, has spent last season on loan to Crotone before signing for Udinese last month. He has one cap for Italy. 'Mandragora is a good person, the most he deserved was a warning,' said Udinese coach Daniele Prade. There is a strict ban on taking God's name in vain in Italy and, since 2010, the country's football association has disciplined players and coaches heard doing so. Former Juve captain Gianluigi Buffon has been forced to apologise in the past for uttering the word 'Dio' (God). Although, he did once claim that he had in fact said 'Zio' - which means uncle. One or two people - including his uncle - believed him. 'I apologise. If one day I will have the good fortune to meet God, he will be the one to decide whether to forgive me,' Buffon said at the time. Two years ago, Italy's rugby captain Sergio Parisse was also forced to apologise after being filmed uttering a blasphemous phrase before a Six Nations game against France. And, according to the Italian FA's rules, players who wear t-shirts with personal messages to their family, or which make a reference to their religious beliefs, will also be punished. It is not unusual for European countries have blasphemy laws on the statute book, but it is rare that they are invoked.
The Copa Libertadores second-leg game between Santos of Brazil and Independiente of Argentina was abandoned after police clashed with the home crowd - who had been told shortly before kick-off that rather than being level on aggregate they were actually three-nil down. Santos fans at the Pacaembu Stadium in Sao Paulo got all stroppy and discombobulated and began throwing missiles at the Independiente bench and on to the pitch with eight minutes of the game to go and the score nil-nil on the night. Many others then stormed the perimeter fence, where police used batons to beat them back. Police then used percussion grenades as some fans climbed over the barriers to get on to the pitch. About forty five thousand Santos fans had bought tickets to the game in hopes of a victory in South America's top club competition after they drew the first leg in Buenos Aires. But twelve hours before the game started, officials at CONMEBOL - the organisation that runs football on the continent - changed that result to a three-nil win to Independiente. It made the decision after its records revealed Santos' Uruguay international Carlos Sanchez had not served the entirety of a ban in the competition handed out three years previously, when he got a red card while playing for River Plate. Santos pointed out they had checked CONMEBOL's own online system beforehand and it had revealed 'no outstanding bans.' Although Santos appealed, the three-nil result was upheld. With the second game abandoned with no change in that overall score, Independiente qualified for the quarter-finals. Leadership in South American football has been severely weakened since the 2015 FIFA scandal, which brought down so many of the leaders at the top of football in the continent. Sao Paulo is the richest and most powerful state in Brazil - fans there will be absolutely foaming at the mouth. This is the club at which Pele made his name; Neymar started there too. Brazilian clubs have often felt that CONMEBOL is against them and this fiasco will have only made that feeling stronger.
Non-league side Litherland Remyca have been thrown out of this year's FA Cup over an unpaid ten knicker fine. The Merseyside club unwittingly fielded a suspended player in the four-two win over Charnock Richard in the extra-preliminary round on 11 August. The player's one-match ban for not paying an 'administrative' fine at his previous club was carried over from last season. Litherland said it is 'a massive blow with numerous implications.' A club statement read: 'The sanctions for a minor administration technicality are considerable, but we must dust ourselves down, learn from the experience and come back stronger.' Charnock have been reinstated and will face Leek Town in the preliminary round on 4 September. Litherland, who play in the North West Counties League Premier Division, beat local rivals AFC Liverpool two-nil in front of the BBC cameras last season.
Footballers in Spain have 'not ruled out' strike action over a plan to stage a top-flight league match in the United States, says the players' union. Real Madrid's captain, Sergio Ramos and Barcelona vice-captain, Sergio Busquets were among the high-profile players to attend a meeting on Wednesday to discuss their 'concerns' over the issue. La Liga agreed a fifteen-year deal with US media company Relevent on Friday. The players' union - the AFE - says that its members were 'not consulted' by La Liga. Players from all of the La Liga sides met in Madrid on Wednesday to discuss the issue with AFE president David Aganzo. Among those in attendance were Ramos and Real Madrid team-mate Nacho, Barcelona duo Busquets and Sergi Roberto, Leo Baptistao from Espanyol, Bruno from Villarreal and Atletico Madrid players Koke and Juanfran. Aganzo said: 'The problem is the lack of common sense, a schedule where only the export of soccer benefits - nobody counts on the fans. We need to fix it with the bosses. The captains are outraged, they're against it, they are unanimous. It does not make sense. We are talking about an agreement that has a validity of fifteen years without consulting the players.' On the possibility of strike action, he added: 'We will try not to reach that extreme but we are willing to go to the end if necessary.' Aganzo said that the players would meet again in September. Asked last week when the US-based match would take place and whether it would be a regular fixture, La Liga told BBC Sport it 'cannot confirm the teams, match, date or season.' The AFE said players 'do not understand the unilateral decisions,' adding: 'La Liga is distancing the fans of the players, something that harms the show and the essence of football.' After the meeting the league said in a statement: 'La Liga will meet with AFE in the appropriate forum to discuss the plans to play a match outside of Spain.'
Three different players scored hat-tricks as Borussia Mönchengladbach thrashed fifth-tier Hastedt in the German Cup first round. Thorgan Hazard, debutant Alassane Pléa and Raffael scored three each, with Florian Neuhaus and Jonas Hofmann also scored in Gladbach's biggest ever cup win. Hastedt, who play in the local Bremen-Liga, scored the final goal of the game through Diyar Kücük. Earlier on Sunday, Cologne won nine-one at Berliner FC Dynamo. The German Cup first round traditionally pits smaller teams, often amateurs, at home to higher-ranked sides. On Saturday, holders Eintracht Frankfurt lost two-one at fourth-tier Ulm. For whom Johann Gambolputty De Von Ausfern Schplenden Schlitter Crasscrenbon Fried Digger Dingle Dangle Dongle Dungle Burstein Von Knacker Thrasher Apple Banger Horowitz Ticolensic Grander Knotty Spelltinkle Grandlich Grumblemeyer Spelterwasser Kurstlich Himbleeisen Bahnwagen Gutenabend Bitte Ein Nürnburger Bratwustle Gerspurten Mitz Weimache Luber Hundsfut Gumberaber Shönedanker Kalbsfleisch Mittler Aucher Von Hautkopft of Ulm did not feature. Which was probably just as well for the programme printers as they might have run out of ink. Bayern München needed a late goal from Robert Lewandowski to beat Drochtersen/Assel.
Hardcore fans of Lazio football club in Italy have circulated a letter saying women should be banned from part of the Curva Nord of Rome's Olympic Stadium. The Lazio ultras have gained a reputation for sick violence, racism and anti-Semitism. Before the first game of the season, an unofficial flyer was handed round saying the stand was 'a sacred place' where women were 'not allowed.' Lazio blamed 'a few fans. We are against any discrimination,' it claimed. Lazio spokesman Arturo Diaconale, quoted by Italian media, said 'we didn't know anything about this [flyer], it was an independent initiative by some of the Curva Nord fans. It's not the position of society. There is a huge number of Lazio fans, whereas this is an initiative from a few fans. We cannot always intervene to prevent politically incorrect demonstrations like this one.' The ultras' flyer said that women should 'go to other parts' of the stadium. The pamphlet called for 'women, wives and girlfriends' to avoid the first ten rows of the stand. 'Those who choose the stadium as an alternative to the carefree and romantic day at the Villa Borghese [a Roman historic house and park], should go to other parts,' it read. The flyer is signed 'Direttivo Diabolik Pluto,' who is one of the leaders of a group of Lazio ultras known as the Irreducibili. Last season the club was fined after supporters displayed anti-Semitic stickers showing Holocaust victim Anne Frank in a Roma shirt. A group of women fans from the Curva Nord, quoted by the Italian football website calcioweb.eu, expressed 'indignation' over the flyer. They said the Curva Nord had 'a sacred role' and 'we distance ourselves from those Lazio fans whose inappropriate behaviour lowers the Nord's value. And we distance ourselves from those whose gestures and words show they have forgotten that it was a woman who gave birth to them.' Carolina Morace, coach of the AC Milan Women's First Team, said those who wanted to ban women from the first ten rows of the Curva Nord 'should be banned from the stadium. Sexism is also violence,' she said. Quoted by the daily Il Messaggero, she said 'some' social media comments on the Lazio controversy 'lead one to think that there is not the slightest respect for women, for sportswomen, for their passion. The football world must help to overcome all forms of discrimination, not to exacerbate them, as happens all too often: I will always fight to ensure that stadiums are hospitable to everyone.' Manila Nazzaro, a Lazio fan who was Miss Italia in 1999 and is now a well-known TV presenter, said that 'the rules of the pack' were 'common to all fans,' not just Lazio's. 'Some environments remain purely masculine, which men love to share with other men, just as there are some that women love to share with women.' She said that 'in the collective's ideal the Curva is purely masculine. When there were really ugly episodes like the Anne Frank stickers, I was the first to criticise. This time let's take it more lightly.'

Sunday 19 August 2018

Kenedy Assassinated?

Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies picked up their first point of the new Premier League season with a drab goalless draw at Cardiff on Saturday. But, was it a case of one point gained or two thrown away? Bit of both, really. Whatever one's view, this was a thoroughly awful Saturday in South Wales with both sides conspiring to create over ninety minutes of instantly forgettable football on live TV. The Toon's shortcomings were more memorable though, in the form of a red card and a missed penalty kick. Ninety six minutes of uninspired toil had seen the visitors field four different players at right back, one of that quartet - Isaac Hayden - being dismissed in the sixty sixth minute. Just when United appeared to have escaped with a point after an equally toothless Cardiff City side had failed to create so much as a direct effort on target to test Martin Dubravka, a stray hand in the home area gave Newcastle the opportunity of an unexpected victory. Sadly, though, with the designated penalty taker Matt Ritchie already off the field and Joselu not being trusted to reprise his woefully rotten effort against Burnley last season, the burden from twelve yards fell to the hapless Kenedy. The Brazilian had struggled all afternoon to make any sort of significant impact, seemingly being more interested in attempting pointless dribbles than actually passing the ball to a teammate. His run-up for the penalty was far stuttering and match anequally poor dead ball attempt from slightly further out minutes earlier, side-footing straight at City keeper Neil Etheridge, who had no problem in saving a second spot kick in as many appearances this season. Kenedy was lucky to still be on the pitch at all; kicking out at Victor Camarasa during the first half for no obvious reason right in front of referee, Craig Pawson who somehow conspired not to see it. Albeit, Cardiff were probably better off with Kenedy still on the pitch rather than off it for all he actually contributed to the game. The referee by turns played his part in a frustrating afternoon, started off by booking Matt Ritchie, despite two home players actually injuring each other as Ritchie attempted to win the ball fairly. Pawson showed no mercy in dismissing Isaac Hayden for a challenge from behind on Josh Murphy in the middle of the field which was probably a fair call, but he then failed to red card Harry Arter for what appeared to be a wholly comparable assault on Joselu soon afterwards. Ayoze Perez had two chances in the first half, saved by Etheridge on both occasions, although the keeper almost let in Joselu when he spilled Kenedy's shot - the winger's one worthwhile contribution to the match. Dubravka almost got United in trouble when delaying a clearance but the block went away from goal, while a tenth minute header from Sol Bamba was cleared from in front of the Newcastle goalline. The game soon lost its way, though and with Kenedy escaping punishment, Javier Manquillo was also lucky to stay on after continuing to pull back Josh Murphy having already been booked when the former Norwich winger showing the Spaniard a clean pair of heels. Having had treatment before the break, Manquillo was replaced by Hayden at half-time but the substitute looked equally uncomfortable against pace. After several indiscretions, Hayden's challenge on Murphy saw Pawson go for his pocket, pause and then show a straight red. Apologising later via social media, Hayden rightly called the tackle 'needless and stupid.' It was, indeed, both. United arguably then played their best football a man short (or, technically, two men short for all the contributions Kenedy actually made) and when Arter wasn't dismissed for his horrible tackle, a sense of injustice seemed to fire-up Rafa Benitez's side. Mo Diame was fouled on the edge of the penalty area but Kenedy wasted the free-kick hitting it straight into the wall, with Joselu slicing the follow-up out for a throw. That sort of summed up the whole game. Then came the last minute penalty incident, after substitute Yoshinro Muto's ball across the box was clearly handled by Bluebirds captain, Sean Morrison. Kenedy duly stepped for the penalty in front of the away fans. And missed. With Moscow Chelski FC, Sheikh Yer Man City and The Arse next up in the league for Rafa's side, a barely-deserved draw at least got United off zero points. However, spurning the golden opportunity for an unexpected win was jolly careless and, potentially, of awful significance come next May. What the future holds for Neil Warnock's City side remains to be seen, but their failure to beat Newcastle's ten (or nine) men doesn't bode well. Few of Newcastle's team enhanced their reputations and had the continuing shortages at right back not forced Rafa's hand with substitutions when there were plenty of other candidates to be replaced. Former Swansea man Jonjo Shelvey did what he could to silence the predictably comic booing from home fans every time he touched the ball, supplying some incisive passes that neither Joselu nor Perez could capitalise on. A sizeable improvement over the next three games is required if Newcastle are to avoid travelling to Crystal Palace next month for which might already be - just six games into the season - a relegation six-pointer. The potential return of DeAndre Yedlin next weekend will, hopefully, be a positive. The enforced sidelining of Hayden meanwhile gives more urgency to the task of integrating summer signings Fabian Schar and Federico Fernandez into the team, while Salomon Rondon's apparent lack of match fitness has to be addressed quickly. Still, at least United currently have one point, which is one more than five other Premier League teams at the moment.
Blunderland FC spent thirty grand on a report into how it was perceived, only to be told it was 'an old-fashioned football club,' the new executive director has revealed. According to the Sunderland Echo Charlie Methven was speaking at the launch of The Black Cats' new 'business club' at the Stadium of Plight this week and revealed some of the barely credible decisions which had contributed to the dire financial situation under the previous regime. The latest club accounts, which cover the year from 1 August 2016, to 31 July 2017 - a period which saw incompetent David Moyes replacing odious lard-bucket Sam Allardyce in the The Mackem Filth's dug-out and a desperately disappointing season which ended in relegation from the Premier League - showed a loss before tax of a fraction under ten million knicker for the financial year. Of course, things then got worse for Blunderland with a second successive relegation from the Championship the following season. As part of his speech, Charlie Methven revealed the club spent thirty thousand smackers to commission a report from 'an external branding company' on 'what it represented,' only to be told it was 'an old-fashioned football club.' 'We could have told you that for thirty pee, sat in Oxfordshire,' claimed Methven. Other revelations included: Blunderland was paying 'one thousand pounds a month to rotate plastic plants round the various rooms', there was not a single person at the club selling sponsorship, there were fifteen people working in marketing and PR but only one in commercial sales and the club had been employing 'just over twice as many people as Newcastle United.' The previous regime had spent money 'trying to be something they weren't,' Methvan claimed. 'They had forgotten what Sunderland is.' The aim now was to be 'a proper football club, and proud of it. It is the people, it is the history, it is the culture - that is what a proper football club is and we need to get back to that being proud of that.' Methven, Stewart Donald and new director Juan Sartori promised to be 'open and honest' with fans: 'PR does not mean telling lies, it does not mean spin,' he said. 'What it is about is communication and communication is a two-way process. We will always be accessible because we want to have that conversation.'
Former footballer Paul Gascoigne has blamed his early exit from a TV show last Saturday morning on sleeping pills. The former England midfielder insisted that he was not drunk on Sky's Soccer AM, where he was a guest alongside Inbetweeners actor Joe Thomas. Gascoigne, who forged his career at yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved Newcastle United and Stottingtot Hotshots, has struggled with alcoholism and mental illness for more than twenty years. His most recent spell in rehab was in 2017, after the death of his nephew. After leaving Soccer AM midway through the show, host John Fendley told viewers that the fifty one-year-old was 'not feeling wonderful.' Gascoigne responded to concerns on social media which suggested that he 'looked out of it' during the show. Writing on Twitter, he said people were 'saying I was drunk,' but went on to explain that he had 'been taking sleeping tablets to try kip.' In 2013 the Football Association and the England Footballers' Foundation donated forty grand to help fund Gascoigne's treatment at an addiction centre in Arizona. The midfielder is best known for his performance in the 1990 World Cup, which saw England reach the semi-final of the tournament for the first time since 1966. He famously cried after receiving a yellow card in the semi-final against Germany, which meant he would not have played in the final if England had progressed. But, they didn't.
Football fans got a bit more than they bargained for when a naughty X-rated channel was turned on as they watched a match in a stadium bar. With the bare bobbies and everything. Little left to the imagination. During half-time of Tuesday's fixture between Bristol Rovers and Crawley, the Babestation channel popped up on screens at the Memorial Stadium clubhouse. The footage of scantily-clad women disappeared only to reappear as soon as the game resumed. Which, given that this was a match between Bristol Rovers and Crawley some might argue was far more entertaining than what was happening on the pitch. Bristol Rovers said that 'an investigation was under way.' The X-rated channel invites viewers to interact live with female presenters wearing just underwear via a premium-rate telephone number or text messaging. Fans who were in the newly-refurbished bar tweeted their amusement. Rivals Bristol City also got in on the act, tweeting about their own screens 'We can't promise any Babestation, sorry. Our TVs have parental control.' One wonders if a one-liner about 'a tasty pair of Bristols' might be appropriate at this juncture. Probably not. Anyway, Steve Hamer, chairman of Bristol Rovers, said an investigation was under way and the action was 'not acceptable.' One presumes he was talking about Babestation and not the match. He said: 'We have had a major refit in the clubhouse and our bars this summer and we've got fourteen to fifteen new TVs all in place and I suspect there was an area of vulnerability there and somebody has hacked into it. What was seen was pretty moderate and we will talk to our TV engineers and media teams to find out what happened.'
The man who scored the winning goal when Hereford United infamously knocked yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though, even then unsellable) Newcastle out of the FA Cup in 1972 has been extremely jailed for money laundering. Ricky George was sentenced to two years and his son, Adam, has also been jailed, for fifteen months. The fraud involved the sale of a house without the knowledge or consent of the owner, Hertfordshire Constabulary say. A third man, Charles Jogi, was also convicted of money laundering at Saint Albans Crown Court. Adam George received one hundred and twenty thousand knicker into a business account from his father, Richard George who were both found very guilty. The money was then laundered through his own bank account and that of his father and Jogi, his father's friend. When the buyer of the house found out that he had been a victim of fraud and had lost two hundred and fifty thousand smackers, he had a heart attack, police say, from which he has 'thankfully recovered.' Jogi was sentenced to two hundred hours hours of unpaid work and was also given a community order. Ricky George will always be known as the man who scored the winner in that famous (and, painful) FA Cup third round replay win for non-league Hereford United over Newcastle United in February 1972. One that gets wheeled out for a repeat every year when the FA Cup come around. George would enjoy another sporting highlight, twenty six years later, as the co-owner of Earth Summit, the horse which won 1998 Grand National. Alan Mordey, from Hertfordshire Constabulary said: 'The fraudster used fake ID, which was verified by a solicitor, to get the housing deeds from the Land Registry. He then used a different solicitor to conduct the sale.'
Football fans have been told to stay away from a Lancashire town where travelling supporters regularly stop off on their way to games. Chorley Council wants to stop coaches of away fans - and other assorted 'common riff-raff' - from visiting its town centre, because, it says, they have been 'intimidating' residents and shoppers and causing all manner of other malarkey and shenanigans. A letter has been sent to clubs saying that fans were 'not welcome.' And that 'ee don't want your sort round here, this is a nice town.' Probably. The Lancashire market town is a stop-off for fans on their way to games at Notlob Wanderings, Blackburn Vindaloos, Preston Both Ends, Burnley and Wigan Not-Very-Athletic. Chorley councillor Danny Gee, who sent the letter on behalf of the council's Town Centre Team, later 'clarified' they were specifically targeting coach loads of fans and admitted the letter 'could have been worded better.' And, less ignorant and absurd. Gee told BBC 5Live that 'congregating coaches' had become 'a big problem.' He added that the request had come from residents and business owners, who said their takings had dropped on match days. The letter refers to a story from April, where hundreds of Wolverhampton Wanderings fans visited Chorley before an away game at Notlob, but said that they had been 'relatively good-natured.' It was widely criticised on social media and the Football Supporters' Federation said it was seeking legal advice. Although, probably a far better form of revenge would be if coach parties did, indeed, avoid Chorley and go somewhere else instead to spend all their money. 'Football fans being told they're not welcome in pubs is one thing but to be told formally by a council they're not welcome in a whole town?! Wow! I'm genuinely speechless at this,' tweeted FSF caseworker Amanda Jacks. Chorley FC, known as The Magpies (no relation), play in National League North, the sixth tier of English football. Responding to a tweet the council sent congratulating Chorley on a win, Jacks replied: 'You can't have your cake and eat it. You either welcome football in your town, or you don't.' Ooo, she's mad-vexed, isn't she? Reiterating the council's position, Gee told The Phil Williams Show it was 'not banning anyone' and it was 'powerless' because of a lack of police. Which single statement has probably just encouraged every shop-lifter in two hundred mile radius to make a bee-line for Chorley. He added: 'Fans are welcome, but we are not welcoming large amount of coaches with one hundred and two hundred fans, congregating outside pubs and disrupting the town centre. They stand outside pubs and intimidate shoppers and families. They arrive at 12pm and leave at 2.30pm - by that time most of the shoppers have left.' In a statement, the council added: 'If the clubs themselves see fit to stop away fans entering some of their local pubs and don't sell alcohol in the ground why should that perceived problem be passed on to our town centre to deal with? As we stated in the letter we have done a lot of work and invested a lot of time and money into the town centre and we don't want Saturdays, which are one of the busiest days for traders, to be affected by people put off by football fans causing anti-social behaviour.' Chorley Council subsequently announced that they had reversed their decision, presumably after deciding that they'd had enough of being considered worthless shitty snobs by just about everyone in the whole world.
England have moved up six places to sixth in FIFA's world rankings after their run to the World Cup semi-finals in Russia. It is their highest position since they were fourth in March 2013. World Cup winners France rise six spots to top the rankings, ahead of Belgium, Brazil and Croatia, while Germany fall from first to fifteenth place. Wales are down one to nineteenth, while Northern Ireland and Scotchland go up two to twenty seventh and fortieth respectively. The Republic of Ireland also rise two positions to twenty ninth. England beat Colombia and Sweden in the knockout stages in Russia before losing to Croatia in the semi-finals. France have taken over top spot from Germany after winning the tournament for the second time, with runners-up Croatia rising sixteen spots to fourth. Host nation Russia were the biggest climbers in the rankings, up twenty one places to forty ninth. Germany have plummeted down the rankings following their exit at the group stage. Argentina, down six places to eleventh, Chile, down three places to twelfth and Poland, down tenth to eighteenth, also slipped. England return to international action on 8 September when they face Spain in the UEFA Nations League at Wembley.

Friday 3 August 2018

whatchamagunnagado?

Football's world governing body FIFA - a notoriously corrupt collective of gangsters, criminals and appeasers of dictators - has been 'urged' to conduct an 'independent investigation' into claims the Qatar 2022 World Cup bid team ran a secret campaign in 2010 to sabotage competing host bids. Not that they're going to, obviously. The chairman of the Digital, Culture, Media and Sport select committee Damian Collins - a man never short of an opinion ... on pretty much any subject you care to name - said that the 'serious allegations,' published in The Sunday Times, would be a breach of FIFA's rules if the proved to be true. 'It requires a proper independent investigation and FIFA should make clear that will happen,' he said. Speaking on Radio 5Live, he added: 'If the Qataris have broken the rules, they should face some sanctions.' In a statement Qatar's 'Supreme Committee for Delivery and Legacy' said it 'rejects each and every allegation put forward by The Sunday Times.' The paper claims to have seen leaked documents that show the Qatari bid team employed a US PR firm and ex-CIA agents to smear its rivals - mainly the United States and Australia. The alleged aim was to create propaganda to give the impression that a World Cup would not be supported domestically. The Qatar tournament organisers deny the allegations. Which, to paraphrase Mandy Rice Davies, 'well, they would, wouldn't they?' A campaign such as that alleged by The Sunday Times would have extremely broken FIFA's bidding rules. Qatar beat rival bids from the United States, Australia, South Korea and Japan to the right to host the 2022 World Cup in a process not so much bent as U-shaped. FIFA's rules state that World Cup bidders should not make 'any written or oral statements of any kind, whether adverse or otherwise, about the bids or candidatures of any other member association.' The Qatar bid team has been previously accused of corruption, but was cleared following a two-year FIFA inquiry. One or two people even believed them. Some of the alleged aspects of the smear campaign include a 'respected academic' allegedly being paid nine thousand US dollars to allegedly write a negative report on the huge economic cost of an American World Cup, which was then distributed to news media around the world; journalists, bloggers and high-profile figures were recruited in each country to 'hype up negative aspects' of their respective bids; a group of American physical education teachers recruited to ask their US Congressmen to oppose a US World Cup on the grounds that the money would be better used on high school sports; grassroots protests were organised at rugby games in Australia opposing the country's bid and intelligence reports were compiled on individuals involved in rival bids. The documents seen by The Sunday Times - which the paper claims were 'leaked by a whistleblower' who worked on the 2022 bid team - were apparently 'unavailable' during the FIFA inquiry. The Qatar bid team is alleged to have employed the New York office of communications company Brown Lloyd Jones, which is now BLJ Worldwide, along with a team of former intelligence officers to run a campaign aimed at undermining one of FIFA's key criteria in the bidding process - that each bid should have strong backing at home. In its statement, Qatar's Supreme Committee for Delivery and Legacy said: 'We have been thoroughly investigated and have been forthcoming with all information related to our bid, including the official investigation led by US attorney Michael Garcia. We have strictly adhered to all FIFA's rules and regulations for the 2018/2022 World Cup bidding process.' A FIFA statement said 'a thorough investigation was conducted by Michael Garcia and his conclusions are available in the report,' referring to the completed two-year inquiry.
Meanwhile, the Football Association is reported to be considering putting England forward as a potential host for the 2030 World Cup. Seemingly oblivious to the fact that no one in international football can bloody stand England. Because we're a bunch of self-deluded whingers who seem to believe that we're still a global power when, in fact, we haven't been for forty years. The last major tournament played in England was the 1996 European Championship, thirty years after the country hosted its only World Cup. FA chairman Greg Clarke says that the governing body's board has 'agreed to start work' to see if a bid is feasible. 'This work will take place during the new season and no decision will be made until 2019,' added Clarke. Wembley is already hosting seven games during Euro 2020 and the FA has bid to host the European Women's Championship in 2021. England failed with a bid to host the 2018 World Cup. Russia were instead announced as hosts by Sepp Blatter, the now disgraced and disgraceful former-president of FIFA. England felt aggrieved by that bidding process but it is thought the FA has been 'encouraged' over 2030 by the greater transparency around the recent vote for the 2026 World Cup, which was won by a joint United States, Canada and Mexico bid. It will now decide whether to bid to become the potential candidate from UEFA, European football's governing body. FIFA vice-president David Gill said in June England should have 'great confidence.' However, there is expected to be a strong joint bid from Argentina, Uruguay and Paraguay, with 2030 marking the one hundredth-year anniversary of the first World Cup in Uruguay. There is no guarantee that the FA will decide to make a bid and many will no doubt see is as a doomed and needless waste of money after England's humiliating and ill-fated bid for the 2018 World Cup. But the fact that such a move is even being considered reflects a growing confidence from within the governing body that its image in the international game has improved. Significantly, the government is understood to be more supportive of the idea of bidding than it once was. The current government, that is. The next one, which may led by Comrade Corbyn is likely to be more interested in hosting the world ice hockey championships. Clarke also dismissed claims by former FA chairman Lord Triesman that England 'could step in' to host the 2022 World Cup, should Qatar be stripped of the competition. Which, they won't be. Clarke said: 'FIFA has chosen Qatar to host the 2022 World Cup and they have a duty to investigate any issues around the process that are rightly thrown into question. Russia did a brilliant job hosting the 2018 World Cup and we support the rotation of World Cup hosting around confederations. That would make the 2030 World Cup the next one a European nation might be able to host and not before. Anyone suggesting otherwise is acting disrespectfully to our global game and does not speak for the English FA.'
Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though tragically unsellable) Newcastle manager Rafael Benitez says that the club's fans 'need to be concerned' after an embarrassingly wretched four-nil hammering in their penultimate pre-season friendly at SC Braga. And, trust this blogger Rafa, we all are. As bloody usual around this time each season. Goals from Ricadro Horta, Joao Novais, Fransergio and Dyego Sousa condemned The Magpies to a 'worrying' defeat. 'Things are not going well off the pitch and you can see a reflection of that on the pitch,' admitted Benitez. No shit? Following the match in Portugal, Benitez claimed that he had 'no idea' about any potential new signings at the club before the Premier League season. The former Liverpool manager said that he wants 'another three or four players' before the transfer deadline on 9 August. But, as usual, public promises made by club's owner, that awful Ashley individual, appear to have been nothing but outright lies. In the same week in which Ashley has, reportedly, been in talks to inject money into the House of Fraser department store chain, once again he seems remarkably reluctant to put his hand in his pocket when it comes to the football club that he owns. 'We were poor and we made too many mistakes. We have to wake up - that's it,' added Benitez after the Braga game. 'You see the teams that have been promoted, the money they are spending. Put it all together and you understand why the fans need to be concerned. We are concerned. Everyone in the dressing room was really upset with our performance and with how things are going, but we will try to change things in the next ten days. Am I optimistic, thinking that in ten days, we can do what we didn't do in two months? I don't think so. But, still, I think it's obvious we need people, we need bodies. We have been talking for a while about players. I think it's the time to act, more than talk. I said two months ago what we needed and ten days before the start of season we still are where we are. There's four or five players we thought we could bring - but we haven't.' When asked if he was close to any new signings he said, bluntly, 'I have no idea.' The Magpies open their league campaign against Stottingtot Hotshots at St James' Park on 10 August, followed by fixtures against Cardiff City, Moscow Chelshi FC, Shiekh Yer Man City and The Arse. So, after five games of the new season, no prizes for guessing which club is likely to be very bottom of the Premier League. There was a modicum of good news for United this week as they confirmed that they have signed Japanese international striker Yoshinori Muto from Mainz on a four-year deal. The twenty six-year-old, who is The Magpies' fifth summer signing, scored eight goals for Mainz last season as they avoided relegation from the Bundesliga. Muto was in Japan's World Cup squad for Russia making one appearance - in the defeat to Poland. 'As the first Japanese Newcastle United player, I am honoured to be a player for such a big club,' he said. 'I hope to achieve good results - that is what I am here to do. I would like to perform well and leave my name in Newcastle's history.' Muto signed after being granted a work permit on Thursday. His fee is reported to be nine-and-a-half million notes and boosts the options for a team who scored but thirty nine Premier League goals in 2017-18, the second fewest of the top fourteen. His arrival follows that of Switzerland defender Fabian Schär from Deportivo La Coruna last week, while Benitez has also been able to sign goalkeeper Martin Dubravka on a permanent contract following a six-month loan spell. The Magpies added former Swansea midfielder Ki Sung-Yueng on a free transfer and Moscow Chelski FC midfielder Kenedy has returned on a season-long loan deal after the Brazilian had a successful six-month spell during the last campaign. However, a proposed move for West Bromwich Albinos striker Salomon Rondon - something which has dragged on for the majority of the summer - appears to have stalled at the eleventh hour. Dwight Gayle's unwillingness to leave Newcastle for a Championship side is reported to be 'hindering progress,' as are the alleged 'inferior contractual terms' said to be on offer to him. When asked about the Rondon situation Benitez noted: '[It] could be fine if we have an agreement but we have to respect West Brom and what they decide. It seems that Dwight Gayle will stay, so that's what we have at the moment.'
A five smacker note engraved with the image of the England striker Harry Kane has gone into circulation in Merthyr Tydfil. In Wales. Oh, the irony. Micro-engraver Graham Short made six of the notes after Kane won the Golden Boot for scoring the most goals during the 2018 World Cup. He used the note at a shop in Cefn Coed last Wednesday. The artist previously etched Jane Austen onto new deep-sea divers when they were first circulated and those have been valued at fifty grand. Short, from Birmingham, chose Merthyr Tydfil because his father was born in nearby Dowlais. The other notes were spent in Meriden in the West Midlands and the Elephant House in Edinburgh. A fourth note will be spent in Northern Ireland. He gifted the other two notes to the Football Association and to Stottingtot Hotshots forward Kane his very self. Because, obviously, Kane is a bit short of cash most of the time. Short uses very fine needles to scratch the images into clear sections of the notes. They remain legal tender, so it is up to sharp-eyed customers or shopkeepers to see if they have one. Explaining his decision to spend the money in Merthyr, Short said: 'I wanted someone to find it who perhaps needed the money, and they can perhaps sell it for whatever - holidays or Christmas. I like the magical feeling of it and just want people to be as excited as I am. It's just a bit of fun, but it also puts my art beyond the walls of a gallery. My art sells for a lot of money now and it's really out of reach for most people. But if they find this and sell it and make a lot of money, I'll be really pleased with that.' It is not the first time Short's work has been valued highly, with a portrait of the Queen being sold for one hundred thousand knicker in 2016. The valuation comes from the Tony Huggins-Haig Gallery, which insures his etchings at fifty thousand smackers each. Money specialist website Change Checker said that the phenomenon of people spending big money on banknotes depends on the notes having 'an interesting story behind them.' So, for example, if you have a tenner that Wayne Rooney once used to wipe his arse, then that might be worth a bloody fortune. It added: 'AA01 banknotes were part of the first batch of banknotes printed or serial number AK47 have been particularly popular thanks to the machine gun connotations. It really is just personal preference and what someone is willing to pay to have a certain banknote in their collection.'
Red and yellow cards will be issued to managers and coaches for 'misconduct in the technical area' and other nefarious skulduggery and stroppy indignation this season. Premier League managers will receive verbal cautions for 'irresponsible behaviour' in the 2018-19 campaign. But, in the FA Cup, Football League, EFL Cup, EFL Trophy and National League, they will be shown cards. Accumulating cautions will also lead to various suspensions, with four bookings warranting a one-match ban up to sixteen resulting in a misconduct charge. Previously, match officials only had the power to warn officials to behave themselves before sending them to the stands for more serious incidents. Cards can be issued for actions including inappropriate language or gestures towards match officials, kicking or throwing water bottles, sarcastic clapping and waving imaginary cards. This season will also see the introduction on competition-specific suspensions for players, rather than cautions carrying across multiple competitions.
There is no significant football action going on at the moment - you might have noticed - what with the 2018-19 campaign still a week away from starting. Other than pre-season friendlies, the only meaningful football at present are the UEFA Champions League and Europa League qualifying rounds. The second qualifying round fixtures finished this week, for entry into the third round before sides are set to face play-offs to earn entry into the group stage proper. Burnley's European adventure is set to continue, as they qualified for the third round after a hard-fought three-one extra-time victory over Aberdeen. Following a draw in the first leg, The Clarets broke the deadlock here in the second leg through Chris Wood, which added to their away goal advantage from the first leg at Pittodre. However, The Dons new signing, teenager Lewis Ferguson equalised in style with a sensational overhead kick which silenced Turf Moor before the half-time whistle, prompting fears that Sean Dyche's side would not progress. However, Burnley fought back into the game through Jack Cork's header and victory was secured as Ashley Barnes score from the penalty spot in the second-half of extra time. Burnley are set to face another tricky test against Turkish side Istanbul Basaksehir in the third round. The first leg will take place in Istanbul on August 9. The results for the majority of other qualifying rounds went as expected, as there were no major upsets and well-established sides secured their respective qualification through routine victories. Belgian side Genk progressed after a nine-one aggregate win over Fola Esch of Luxembourg, while Croat side Hajduk Split were four-two winners over Slavia Sofia. Bundesliga side RB Leipzig secured a five-one aggregate win against Sweden's BK Häcken, while Turkish giants Beşiktaş JK demolished B36 Tórshavn of the Faroe Islands eight-nil on aggregate. There were also comfortable wins for Sevilla - against once-great Hungarian side Újpest - and Serie A side Atalanta. CSKA Sofia, Sparta Prague, Hibernian, Vitesse Arnhem, Bordeaux, Maccabi Tel Aviv and Steven Gerrard's Glasgow Rangers also secured passage into the third-round with narrow wins of their own - the latter with a two-one aggregate win over NK Osijek of Croatia. Their progress, however, was somewhat marred by a nasty incident in which two men were seriously injured in violent clashes before the game in Glasgow. There was dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions, as Dean Ebbe's late goal saw The New Saints progress to the third qualifying round of the Europa League. The Welsh champions travelled to Gibraltar having beaten Lincoln Red Imps two-one in the home leg. Juan Manuel Montesinos Romero took advantage of a defensive mix-up to put the home side ahead in the second leg. But Ebbe restored The Saints' advantage on aggregate on the eighty-minute mark, meaning Scott Ruscoe's side will now face Midtjylland of Denmark. Crusaders were knocked out after a battling one-all draw against Olimpija Ljubljana. Paul Heatley's clinical finish earned Crues a deserved share of the spoils at Seaview in Belfast after Nik Kapun's low strike had put Olimpija ahead. The Slovenian side progress to the third qualifying round six-two on aggregate win thanks to their first-leg win. Iceland's Stjarnan defeated Nõmme Kalju FC of Estonia three-nil in Garðabær. The one major shock from this round of fixtures was Eredivisie side AZ Alkmaar, who lost three-two on aggregate to unfancied Kazakhstan outfit FC Kairat, despite a two-one win in the home leg. Albeit, Budapest Honvéd FC's home defeat to Luxembourg's FC Progrès Niederkorn would have been a major surprise if it had happened a couple of decades ago. Dinamo Minsk overcame Slovakia's Dunajská Streda whilst Cypriot champions AEK Larnaca thrashed League of Ireland's Dundalk four-nil. And, the excellently named Dynamo Brest of Belarus progressed at the expence of Greek side Atromitos. Some really big names were also playing in the Champions League second qualifying round where the likes of Glasgow Celtic, Ajax Amsterdam, Malmö FF, Dinamo Zagreb and Red Star Belgrade all made it safely through to the next stage of the competition.
An allegation that Mansfield Town's captain Krystian Pearce was racially abused during their pre-season friendly against Sheffield Wednesday is reportedly being 'looked into' by the Football Association. Tuesday's match is already under investigation by the FA after both sides were involved in a mass brawl with kids gettin' sparked an' aal sorts of bother and discombobulation. A Mansfield statement said that they had reported the incident to Nottinghamshire Police and the FA. Wednesday said they 'vehemently refuted any form of racist abuse. Sheffield Wednesday are aware of the very serious allegations made following the pre-season friendly with Mansfield Town on Tuesday 24 July,' a club statement said. 'The club vehemently refutes any form of racist abuse on our part and will vigorously defend itself should the need arise.' After the match, Stags boss David Flitcroft claimed to the media that something had 'riled' Pearce. 'With seven or eight minutes to go Pearcey was visibly upset with something, so I got him off the pitch,' he told the Sheffield Star. 'Pearcey has a character and a calmness about him as everyone can see. Supporters around here have known him longer than me. He has a calmness and assurance when playing football. But something riled him. Something rattled him and I was worried that, with him looking so wound up, he might do the wrong thing.'
Smaller football clubs are reportedly struggling to get their pitches ready for the new season after the recent heatwave in Great Britain. The long hot dry spell - with occasional flooding in between in some areas - has 'left many grounds unplayable' and some clubs say that they are losing thousands of pounds from cancelled pre-season matches. The risk has led to one council advising clubs to delay the season. But others, such as Kettering Town in Northamptonshire, have been using up to thirty thousand litres of water to soak their pitch and make it safe and playable. The chairman of Shepton Mallet AFC, Rodney Neale, who is also the club's groundsman, said that he, personally, would not play on their surface in Somerset. 'Imagine a youngster who has his career ahead of him putting his foot in [one of the holes] and breaking his ankle,' he said. The club, like thousands of others in the non-league pyramid, is run mainly by a mixture of volunteers and money from sponsors, usually local businesses. It also depends on income from pre-season fixtures, perhaps watched by several hundred supporters and many of those have been cancelled. This year the club has used about six tonnes of sand to fill the gaps in their bone-dry and cracked pitch, but ground staff accept they are fighting a losing battle. In Worcestershire, Redditch Borough Council has spoken to local football clubs saying 'safety must come first' and advised them to delay the start of the season. Tom Henman, from Redditch United, said that it previously has only had to cancel one match in eighteen months and has a 3G artificial surface. He accepted that a lot of other local clubs were suffering and said they had 'fixture swapped' so games that would have been cancelled can now go ahead. Kettering Town, which is in the Southern League, took a different approach to the problem with thirty thousand litres of water sprayed on the pitch. But it said that the watering was 'a balancing act' between making sure the pitch was playable without running the risk of having the game called off because of a waterlogged pitch. Lincoln City and Lincoln United had to cancel their pre-season fixture saying the heat had a 'detrimental effect on the pitch.'
Former England captain Terry Butcher has extremely quit as Philippines national coach before he had even taken charge of a match. The fifty nine-year-old was appointed on a two-year deal in June, starting this weekend, but 'he does not believe the right system is in place' for the country to be successful according to BBC Sport. Butcher, who made seventy seven appearances for England, has managed eight clubs since ending his playing career in 1990. Some of them really, really badly - most notably his thing-slappingly hilariously inept spell in charge of Blunderland. During which a terrace chant made up by supporters of local rivals Newcastle United, 'we put Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry Butcher on the dole, on the dole', soon came alarmingly true! 'I'm sorry to announce that I will not be proceeding in the role,' he said. In a statement to Press Association, Butcher, who has not managed since he was extremely sacked by Newport County in 2015, said: 'Across recent months I've been intensely engaged with many people to thoroughly understand and prepare for this exciting challenge. The vital issue for myself was to carefully build a robust plan to meet the football ambitions of the national team and "do the country proud." Regretfully, I've not been able to make this work in the way that I intended and I've decided not to continue in the role.' The Philippine Football Federation said it 'accepts with understanding' Butcher's decision.