Stadium of Plight?

Anyone watching Sky's Football First last night might've been more than a shade startled and/or perfectly terrified by Sarah-Jane Mee's rapidly growing darza of a beehive.

Jesus, if that gets much taller it'll be poking through the roof, love. What do you think this is, 1963?

Of course, if you were watching Football First there can only have been one reason. And it wasn't Sarah-Jane's honey-dripping beehive. Or Paul Walsh's barely monosyllabic comments (it's not a sprint, like, its a marafon, the Premier League, innit?') it was for the most important game of the day, if not indeed the whole season. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though still unsellable) Magpies continue to hold the upper hand in recent Tyne-Wear derbies as Ryan Taylor's whippy free-kick earned them a win over The Disgraceful Mackems Slime. The hosts - who've getting been a bit uppity of late what with all their 'we've signed more players than you' malarkey and, frankly, needed a good slapping down and putting in their place - had more possession for most of the first half and the opening exchanges of the second although they had about as much penetration as a ... hang on a sec. Careful Sarah, will you, you could have someone's eye out with that thing. Right, back to the match. Joey Barton - having spent the week, as usual, as public enemy number one of every scum newspaper in the country (he's responsible for all of the ills in the world, you know? The riots? That was Joey Barton. The situation in Syria? Yep , that's Joey too) was denied a goal when his header was punched over the bar by Sebastian Larsson. Appeals for a penalty were turned down by Howard Webb. And his guide dog. Of course, if it had been the other way around and it had been Barton on the line sticking his arms up, no doubt he would have been up before the FA on a charge on 'being a bastard' first thing on Monday morning. It looked for a while as though that incident might prove pivotal in the match but Taylor's free arrow-like kick flew straight in on sixty two minutes. Miss Stéphanie Sessègnon and Asamoah Gyan both had chances for Sunderland, whilst Phil Bardsley was sent off late in the game for a ghastly and crude two-footed tackle on Fabricio Coloccini that could have broken the Argentine's leg. Fortunately, although the game was keenly-contested it did not quite reach boiling point - despite Lee Cattermole spending most of the ninety minutes going round kicking anything that moved (and, anything that didn't just in case it tried). Victory for Alan Pardew's side means that Newcastle are unbeaten in four league games against their North-East rivals. In fact, they've only lost once at Blunderland since 1980. You know, Andy O'Brien, Liam O'Brien, any any any O'Brien ... and all that. Now, it seems, it's Oh, Ryan. Heh. Sorry. Anyway, the manager will have been happy to earn three points during a taxing week following all of the crassly hyped controversy of their match against Arsenal last weekend. And, let's face it four points out of a possible six from the opening two games with no goals conceded by a team with, supposedly, a traditionally weak defence is decent in anyone's language. Although, given the way Arsenal are playing at the moment, last week might come to be regarded as two points dropped rather than one gained. Webb will probably be content, too, that the incident involving Barton did not decide an otherwise tough but entertaining match. Blunderland will doubtless be angry that they did not get any reward from a game for which they controlled - in terms of possession if not chances - for large chunks. But, they lacked any sort of cutting edge up front. It was not quite as bad as last autumn's 5-1 pants down thrashing at St James' Park for Fat Steve Bruce, but this was still a very bad result for the - alleged - boyhood Newcastle fan who must be well pissed off that his next home game is against Moscow Chelski FC. Bruce's side set the tempo early on with Sessègnon effective in a hole between Newcastle's midfield and defence. It wasn't long before the Benin international carved out the first chance for the home side, but his fierce shot was tipped over by Tim Krul. Deployed as a holding midfielder alongside an uncharacteristically off-the-pace Cheik Tioté in Pardew's 4-2-3-1 formation, Barton, who attempted too many ambitious long passes, failed to prevent Blunderland enjoying the better of the first half. Just as it looked as though a Blunderland goal may come, the tide was stemmed by a moment of controversy on fifteen minutes. From a corner Barton nodded Shola Ameobi's header towards goal and it struck Larsson's arm as it was heading for the top of the net. Pandemonium inside the Stadium of Shite. The Geordies went mental. The Mackems just stood around looking a bit shamefaced and Larsson's 'who, guv? Me, guv?' charged towards the linesman to protest his innocence and claim he'd headed it was, frankly, a bit 'the lady doth protest too much.' TV replays subsequently justified Barton's righteous sense of frustration and despite appeals from Newcastle's players to Webb and his assistant (and his dog), the end result was but a corner. Yohan Cabaye was perhaps fortunate only to pick up a booking for a dangerous-looking high tackle on Bardsley, and several players went into the book in the second half as the temperature rose on the pitch. Not only a lovely passer of the ball, the former Lille playmaker showed he can put his foot in, too. More constructively, though, Cabaye forced Simon Mignolet into a fine save courtesy of a curving, dipping, long-range strike. Looks like Newcastle might've signed a good'un in the Frenchie. But Bruce's side remained in the ascendancy as Sessegnon again worked Krul and Gyan clipped the top of the bar with a left-foot curler just before half-time. That left Newcastle looking to break on the counter and target Ameobi from deep corners. Although Cabaye had another swerving shot saved, they made few inroads in the first half. Blunderland began the second half in quieter fashion and that, along with Ryan Taylor's supreme accuracy swung the game back in favour of the visitors. Jonas Gutierrez served notice of his intent with a shot on the hour, and it was the Argentine who was brought down - by Cattermole - for the free-kick which led to Taylor's strike. From the left the defender arrowed his kick into the top right corner, past a flailing Mignolet, and although Steven Taylor aimed to get a touch on it at the back post, the ball flew straight in to give the Newcastle fans The Horn. Coloccini and Steven Taylor – later joined by Mike Williamson as Pardew switched to a flat back five – remained as solid as the eight-foot metal barrier that police had erected outside the stadium to separate rival fans. Bookings for Cattermole and Barton predictably followed and the latter also had the ball in the back of the net late on but was rightly ruled for a marginal but clear offside. Further chances came for Gyan and substitute Craig Gardner, who made his Blunderland debut and young Dan Gosling should have sewn it up for The Glorious Magpies in injury time having been put through one-on-one by Ameobi's delicate flick-on. But, his arse fell out and he shot weakly at Mignolet. Nevertheless, it was a welcome relief that Taylor's goal proved to be the difference between the sides rather than any moment of controversy or discombobulation. While Bardsley's sending off was thoroughly deserved, it served as a mere footnote to a passionate, tough encounter and capped a frustrating afternoon for The Disgraceful Mackem Slime. Which, let's face it, is always a good thing.

Same Old Arsenal, Always Down To Ten Men!

The Premier League kicked off its 2011-12 season with a day of, frankly, not a lot of excitement. Only six matches were played due to a combination of Sky's schedules and Tottenham Hotshots being too ruddy scared to go out in public in case they got rioted against. In the games that were played Arsenal and Liverpool dropped points against the Geordies and the Mackems, and Poor Old Queens Park Rangers Nil had the sort of opening day that promoted clubs usually dream about. If they've eaten lots of cheese before they went to bed. Gervinho managed to get his ass sent off on his Arsenal debut as Arsène Wenger's side made an unconvincing start to life without Cesc Fábregas and Samir Nasri. It was inevitable, of course. Joey Barton has been the centre of attention all summer on Tyneside - for all sorts of reasons - and he was again in the thick of it at St James' Park on Saturday. With just over a quarter of an hour left the game degenerated into bad-tempered controversy. Gervinho appeared to dive rather theatrically in the penalty area attempting to make a bit of a meal of a hefty-but-fair challenge by Cheick Tioté. The referee, Peter Walton, was having none of it. Barton came across to tell Gervinho to get on with the game and did so. Forcefully. By grabbing him by the scruff of the neck. Steven Taylor tried to intervene and split them up when Gervinho slapped Barton across his mush. That Barton went down as if one of the Klitschko brothers had chinned him was hardly valorous but Gervinho was crassly stupid to do what he did. It was history repeating for Arsenal. In their last visit, that dramatic 4-4 in January, Abou Diaby had been sent off for pushing over Barton. (As the lads at nufc.com noted: 'It was almost the same as last year, just minus the eight goals.') Even earlier in this weekend's game, Barton felt - probably justly - that Alex Song should have been sent to the stands for stamping on him. He clearly gets under this Arsenal team's skin - which is one very good reason why he should be a national treasure - as evidence by Arsene Wnger stalking down the touchline at the end of the game seemingly about to give Barton a mouthful of je ne sais quoi before thinking better of it. Which was a first. Of course, the incident brought out both the best and the worst in pretty much everyone - this blogger very much included. I loved, for instance, Danny Baker's full-hearted defence of Barton on Twitter: 'Arsenal are phoney whiney tough guys - like the cast of Glee doing Scarface. Love the idea that Joey Barton alone is spoiling football from being a parade of graceful athletes. People hurrying past Song to hate him. Football is not the beautiful game. It is the world's drama, theatre, catharsis, riot. The Joey Barton's will never be an advertisers puppy.' Contrast that, for example, with the thoroughly odious and worthless Brian Woolnaugh's 'won't somebody please think of the children!' hysterics on Soccer Supplement on Sunday morning, which appeared to be one short step away from blaming the London riots, the imprisonment of Nelson Mandela and the murder of the Kennedys on Barton. 'Who died and made Brian Woolnough an oracle on football? Has this nugget ever been part of a team or played any form of the game?' asked Barton. No, but he does work for a newspaper that makes up quotes to substantiate non-stories and, previously, worked for an organisation - News International - which hacked the voicemail of a murdered schoolgirl and the relatives of other victims of crime. So, you know, no one is innocent is all I'm saying. That Barton was even playing would have seemed impossible ten days ago. There has been a rapprochement with the club and he may yet stay for the season. His selection was certainly popular with the crowd. They cheered his name loudest when the teams were read out and chanted it before kick off. Barton responding with a salute. The Arsenal crowd made their feelings clear, too. Even before the red card, this was a flat and sterile performance against a Magpies side that struggled to keep sustained possession for large chunks of the game. With twenty minutes left the Arse support was chanting for Wenger to 'spend some of your fucking money.' And they kept chanting it. Most of Arsenal's chances came from Newcastle mistakes rather than their own creativity. Tim Krul came closest to scoring for the visitors, nearly pushing into his own net under pressure from Laurent Koscielny, Danny Simpson clearing off the line. For the home side, Alan Pardew tried to do something about his team's one dimensional approach at half-time. He kept them in the dressing room much longer than Wenger did Arsenal and when they emerged the unimpressive Demba Ba had been replaced by Gabriel Obertan, who took up a position in the hole behind the not-much-better Shola Ameobi. He was impressive in the role and will surely start the next game in a midfield that also includes the interesting-looking, if apt-to-go-missing-for-a-while Yohan Cabaye. Indeed Newcastle were much the better side in the second half albeit without ever really creating a clear cut chance. An expectant Anfield was left just as disappointed as Wenger's men as Kenny Dalglish's much changed and very expensive Liverpool kicked off the new season with a rather tame 1-1 draw at home to Blunderland. Luis Suarez missed from the penalty spot before heading his side into a first-half lead, only for debutant Sebastian Larsson to silence the Kop after the break with a majestic leveller on the volley. Eighty million quid and you can't even beat the Mackems. Dear, oh dear. Top-flight new boys Norwich City and QPR experienced contrasting fortunes on their respective returns to the big time. While Norwich were grinding out a creditable point on their travels to Wigan Athletic, Neil Warnock's Hoops were being comprehensively spanked by a Bolton side who strolled to a 4-0 victory in the capital. Wolves were not as emphatic but no less impressive as they came from behind to claim a 2-1 win at Blackburn Rovers which will put a smile on that miserable oaf Mick McCarthy's boat. The day's other goalless stalemate ensued in the capital as Fulham drew a blank against a resolute Aston Villa, who marked Alex McLeish's bow in the dugout with a decent point. A Liverpool side which included new boys Charlie Adam, Jordan Henderson, Stewart Downing and Jose Enrique as well as January purchases Suarez and Andy Carroll, impressed in the first half at Anfield but faded thereafter as Sunderland left Merseyside with a share of the spoils. Suarez was at the epicentre of all that intrigued during an enterprising opening period. On five minutes he looked odds-on to score as he rounded Simon Mignolet in Sunderland's goal following a rapid Liverpool counter-attack, only to be hauled down by Kieran Richardson. Phil Dowd showed some opening day goodwill in brandishing a yellow card rather than a red one, with the home side's ire exacerbated when Suarez blazed the resulting penalty wildly over the crossbar. It was a disappointment that proved to be short lived. A trademark Adam delivery from a set-piece wide on the right saw Suarez stoop to connect with a header from close range on twelve minutes, which beat Mignolet's flailing efforts with his feet. Whatever Steve Bruce said at the interval in the away side's dressing room had the desired effect. When it arrived Larsson's leveller was a thing of rare beauty, as Stephane Sessegnon's deep cross slung in from the right was met with a delectable scissor kick that left Jose Reina rooted. Having endured a summer of considerable uncertainty and too many chicken jokes, Blackburn Rovers supporters were handed a fillip on twenty minutes at Ewood Park as Jason Roberts bulldozed through a Wolves backline that parted like the Red Sea, allowing the Argentine Mauro Formica to angle a low drive past Wayne Hennessey. It was a lead they held for just two minutes as a bright Wolverhampton move down the right culminated with Matthew Jarvis dinking a smart ball to the back post that allowed Steven Fletcher to climb above Michel Salgado to level. If Salgado was susceptible for Wolves' first he was almost certainly culpable for the second, as his mistimed tackle on Jarvis after the break culminated in a spot-kick. Kevin Doyle's effort was meek and easily repelled by Paul Robinson but when from the resulting scramble the ball fell to Stephen Ward, his sweeping volley from the edge of the box was perfectly executed as it nestled in the corner. Bolton stopper Gary Cahill will have impressed the watching scouts at Loftus Road as his effort on the stroke of half-time deflated Queen's Park Rangers' top-flight return and set the ball rolling for a 4-0 mauling that ended in Clint Hill being sent-off at the death for violent conduct. Cahill's goal was a strike of genuine quality as he took debutant Chris Eagles' pass before bending a sumptuous twenty-yard left-foot drive beyond Paddy Kenny's despairing dive. In truth the party atmosphere lasted less than ten minutes as the familiar sight of Kieron Dyer on a stretcher had the club's board counting the cost of Neil Warnock's gamble on the one-time England man. Subsequent x-rays showed that Dyer did not suffer a broken foot as had been speculated. Dyer has been plagued by injuries throughout his career, managing only thirty five appearances during his four seasons with the Hamsters after sustaining a broken leg and also suffering with a recurring hamstring problem. Injuries also affected his time at Newcastle, when hamstring trouble kept him sidelined for several periods. Dyer should probably look on the bright side, however - let's face it if he'd been a horse he'd've been shot by now. It got no better for the Hoops after the interval. Eagles was the architect again for Bolton's second as his whipped in free-kick took a deflection before Danny Gabbidon inexplicably stuck out his foot to edge the ball over his own goal line. Further insipid defending was punished as the difference between the Championship and Premier League was exposed again, as Ivan Klasnic was afforded too much time to get his shot away from the edge of the box, with Kenny again caught off guard by an unfortunate deflection. With Bolton buoyant three became four before full-time as Fabrice Muamba coolly converted Klasnic's slide-rule pass with consummate ease. Ritchie de Laet endured a nightmare on his Norwich debut as his trip in the area on Franco di Santo allowed Wigan midfielder Ben Watson to emphatically register from the penalty spot. With Paul Lambert a typically energetic presence on the touchline the Canaries dug deep and after Grant Holt missed a gilt-edged opportunity from close range, team-mate Wesley Hoolahan showed him how to do it when he punished a fumble from Ali Al Habsi on the stroke of half-time to lash home a leveller. Both teams were guilty of profligacy in front of goal in the second half as Watson went closest to conjuring a winner as his crisp strike cracked the post. A drab goalless affair ensued in West London as Fulham and Aston Villa could not be separated. John Arne Riise came close to capping his Premier League debut for the Cottagers with a goal only to see his effort drift narrowly wide. Both sides had half chances thereafter but a stalemate that will not live long in the memory will do little to silence those who feel both sides lack sufficient options in attack. Tomorrow, Moscow Chelski FC and The Scum get their seasons underway whilst Sheikh Yer Man City have to wait until Monday to have a go at promoted Swansea.

And, the main question to be asking after watching it all on Match of the Day, though, was who the hell had done that to Shearer's hair? On his forty first birthday an'all. That's just not right. Once upon a time a world of centre halves trembled and used to get an elbow in the face for just looking at him in a funny way. Now somebody's done that to his barnet and, seemingly, got away with it.

You can tell me who it was, Al, I'll fix him for you.

I Predict A Riot

The Times and Daily Torygraph have attacked football's governing bodies as the lockout of sports journalists from matches over media accreditation disrupted newspaper reports over the weekend, with Tuesday night's coverage of the Carling Cup also expected to be hit like one of Peter Lorrimer's thunderbolt free kicks. Newspaper coverage of the opening matches of the football season was hit as sports journalists from national titles, news and picture agencies were locked out of all but a handful of the thirty six games, after talks broke down on Wednesday night between the Premier League, Football League and a media coalition. Many, but not all, national newspapers dropped match reports over the weekend, with a number also dropping, or limiting, mentions of sponsors' names. Many regional newspapers which take copy and pictures from news and picture services were also affected after the Press Association, a major supplier of sports content, said on Friday that it would not be covering any Football League fixtures over the weekend.

On Monday The Times opted to raise the issue in its third leader on page two, calling the opening weekend of the new season 'a farce' and saying that administrators at the football bodies 'could not be more inept. Instead of encouraging maximum coverage of matches on a marquee weekend, football's ruling bodies have minimised the projection of their product, to the detriment of fans and sponsors alike,' the paper said. Henry Winter, the Torygraph's highly respected football correspondent, called the football bodies 'short-sighted' and argued that the lockout was 'a spectacular own goal. How naïve are the leagues? Do they not want publicity? Do they not appreciate that newspapers, whether in print, online or via Twitter, keep fanning the flames of supporters' interest in clubs?' he said in a piece published on Saturday evening. 'The intelligent clubs understand the mutually beneficial relationship between them and newspapers. Rapprochement is required before a great sport suffers lasting damage.' Winter threatened that if newspapers 'fall out of love' with football they could choose focus more on sports such as cricket or rugby union to make the sport's governing bodies 'realise to their cost what an own goal this ban has been.' The Gruniad also referred to the dispute in its Monday sports section, with Matt Scott reporting that the paper's coverage had been restricted by 'our being denied access to grounds.' One of the key areas of dispute in the agreement is outdated live reporting rights – the existing deal dates back to 2003-04, two years before Twitter even launched – which are currently restricted to a number of 'windows' in a game when updates can be provided. A league source close to the negotiations rejected the notion that the football bodies are out-of-touch 'dinosaurs' and argued that newspapers are not being given the full facts on the proposals by the coalition bargaining on their behalf. 'We are not dinosaurs and we understand the mutually beneficial relationship we have with newspapers,' said the source. 'The way it's being painted I can understand the newspapers' reaction, but the feeling is over here is that they're not being given the full facts by the News Media Coalition.' They added: 'The position over Twitter and social media has been totally misrepresented by the News Media Coalition. Journalists will have greater freedom to tweet under the proposed new agreement.' Among the Football League's Championship, League One and League Two clubs which began their season at the weekend, only Brighton & Hove Albion, West Ham United and Accrington Stanley (who are they?) defied the order to bar journalists from matches. Clubs were ordered by the football bodies not to admit reporters from newspapers and media outlets who had not signed a temporary rights deal. The two sides are understood to be no closer to resuming negotiations, meaning that coverage of the thirty two matches of the opening round of the Carling Cup being played on Tuesday night look set to hit. Npower, the title sponsor of the Football League, did not provide an updated comment on the disruption beyond the statement issued on Friday that it 'hopes negotiations can be concluded swiftly.' A spokesman for Premier League sponsor Barclays, which is likely to see coverage of its brand curtailed if an agreement is not reached before kick-off this weekend, said: 'We are not going to pass any comment on this story at as we see it as separate dispute between the Premier League, Football League and the media.' The football bodies have offered media an extension of the existing deal, with a seven-day termination clause so no media outlet is tied to it, with the aim of hammering out an agreement in the first few weeks of the season. The News Media Coalition, which is collectively bargaining for news and picture agencies with the Newspaper Publishers Association, which represents most of the national titles, has rejected this offer.

Still on the subject of footie, Gabriel Obertan is set to move from The Scum to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (but, still unsellable) Magpies on Monday. The twenty two-year-old French winger signed for the Old Trafford club from Bordeaux in July 2009 but failed to gain a regular place in the first team. 'I wanted to bring pace and he will bring us genuine pace,' manager Alan Pardew told BBC Newcastle on Saturday. 'I think away from home last year that was a problem for us hitting teams on the break - Obertan will offer that.' He added: 'He hasn't had many opportunities at Manchester United. I think he'll get more opportunities here and his confidence will grow. He'll become a stronger and a more physical player. Sir Alex is somebody I know well and he thinks he'll do very well for us and so do I. It's done so much as medicals, you don't want to say it's definitely done, but we're looking forward to seeing him.' Obertan is a former attendee of France's famous Clairefontaine academy. He made twenty eight appearances and scored once in regular competition during his time at Manchester United. That strike came in United's 3-0 win away to Turkish side Bursaspor in the Champions League in November 2010. Obertan would become the fifth French speaking player to sign for Newcastle during this transfer window, following the arrivals of Demba Ba, Yohan Cabaye, Sylvain Marveaux and Mehdi Abeid. Add those to the three Frenchies (or, French speakers) they already have in Hatem Ben Arfa, Cheick Tiote and Yven Moyo and it might be a case of onions, frogs legs and a bit of the old ooh-la-la in Les Toon's salle de kit next season. C'est la Vie. Rumours that Monsieur Joey Le Barton has a bit of the hot Latin temperament in him cannot, at this time, be confirmed or denied.

Two football matches have been postponed and questions raised over other sporting events after a third successive night of rioting in London. Tuesday's games at Charlton and West Ham United were called off on police advice. In the case of the latter, it was a pity as this blogger feels that obese buffoon Sam Allardyce could've been given to the rioters for target practice to appease their wrathful and naughty ways. BBC Sport says that it understands the Football Association will 'hold a routine meeting with police' on Tuesday over whether England's friendly with the Netherlands will go ahead. England's cricket team were locked in their hotel ahead of the Test against India amid trouble in Birmingham. The team are staying in the city centre ahead of Wednesday's contest at Edgbaston, with England scheduled the practise at the ground on Tuesday. Batsman Kevin Pietersen relayed the information to broadcaster Piers Morgan in a tweet. 'They have just locked our hotel in Birmingham mate. Riots just started here. Insane,' stated Pietersen on Twitter. His colleague Tim Bresnan added on the social networking site: 'Just seen the rioters in Birmingham fleeing down the main street followed by a load of police in the full get up. What's going on?' It's a riot, mate. You're from Leeds, surely you've seen one of them before? BBC sports news reporter Joe Wilson said on Tuesday that nearby hotels had been advised to lock their doors. He wrote: 'Helicopters circling over Bull Ring, about half mile from England hotel. Spoke to England head of security, confident all players safe.' Meanwhile, the FA will be guided by police advice, but at this stage is planning for Wednesday's game between England and the Netherlands to go ahead. A Metropolitan Police spokesman added: 'Every football match in London is subject to assessment around police resources.' The managing director of Club England, Adrian Bevington, stated that he was heading to Wembley Stadium early on Tuesday to discuss the matter. 'Deplorable scenes of disorder once more - heading into Wembley now for meetings,' he tweeted. Isn't it just beyond great to know that, these days, journalists get all of their information about anything from frigging Twitter? West Ham said in a statement that they were informed by police that 'all major public events in London were to be rearranged because of the need to focus police resources elsewhere.' A Metropolitan Police spokesman said they were aware of the West Ham statement, but were unable to comment on any potential impact on the England game at this stage. Crystal Palace are also set to play Crawley Town at Selhurst Park on Tuesday and that game may also be affected, given the stadium is close to the scene of disorder in Croydon. In London, violence broke out for a third consecutive day with riot police deployed and firefighters tackling blazes across the capital, following disturbances in Tottenham on Saturday evening and Enfield on Sunday night. Shops were looted and buildings, among them a furniture store in Croydon, set alight as police clashed with youths. Meanwhile, rioting spread across London on a third night of violence, with 'unrest' flaring up in other English cities. An extra seventeen hundred police officers were deployed in London, where shops were looted and buildings were set alight. Birmingham, Liverpool, Manchester and Bristol also experienced disturbance. The prime minister has returned early from his holiday to discuss the unrest, which first flared on Saturday after a peaceful protest in Tottenham over the fatal shooting of a man by police. Because, of course, as everyone knows, what's really needed to calm down an inflamed situation is to thieve a new pair of trainers and a wide-screen HD ready telly. West Ham's game against Aldershot was the first to be called off, announcing the news on the Hammers website. Charlton's stadium, The Valley, is close to Lewisham where rioting occurred on Monday. A statement on Charlton's website read: 'Clearly the most important factor is the people's safety. The police have told us they believe the match should be postponed on safety grounds and obviously we have taken that advice.' BBC sports news reporter Leon Mann tweeted: 'Organisers of Ghana v Nigeria tell me game still set to go ahead tomorrow at Watford FC as planned.'

So It Ain't So, Joe!

ESPN has renewed its exclusive broadcast agreements to Italian, Dutch and Russian football, as well as made its English Premier League goals mobile app free to all users. The new deals enable ESPN to continue offering live and exclusive coverage of Italian Serie A, as well as the Dutch Eredivisie and the Russian Premier Liga. ESPN said that it will air at least two matches each week from Italy's top division, alongside Coppa Italia games, and the Italian Super Cup clash between AC Milan and Internazionale this month. It will also broadcast 'dozens' of games each season from the Dutch and Russian top leagues. The Disney-owned broadcaster, which expanded its UK market position in 2009 following the collapse of Setanta UK, will continue to broadcast magazine programme ESPN Kicks - Serie A, alongside weekly highlights and goals from the Eredivisie and the Russian Premier Liga. Jeroen Oerlemans, the vice-president of TV channels at ESPN, said: 'The renewal of these agreements is an excellent result for all football fans in the UK, giving them access to live and exclusive coverage of some of Europe's leading football leagues and competitions. We are building an excellent portfolio of live football and sport on ESPN.' ESPN snapped up the rights to Serie A, along with German, Dutch and Russian football to bolster the reduction of its English Premier League TV rights down to just twenty three games per season in 2010-2011, with Sky holding the remaining one hundred and fifteen. Last month, the broadcaster announced its opening fixtures for the 2011-2012 football season, starting with Newcastle's clash against Arsenal on 13 August. ESPN has also today launched an enhanced version of its ESPN Goals app, the mobile service offering 'near live' highlights of all goals during the Premier League season.

And, speaking of yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (if unsellable) Magpies, Joey Barton will be allowed to leave Newcastle on a free transfer, the club has announced. Relations between the twenty eight-year-old and the club have been strained after contract negotiations broke down earlier in the summer, leading to Barton frequently airing his frustrations on Twitter. 'Newcastle United can confirm that Joey Barton has been placed on the transfer list on Monday,' said a club statement. 'The player has been advised that he can leave the club on a free transfer.' And, as usual, that was all they said, because the idea of them actually letting the supporters of the club know just what the smegging hell is going on up there is, obviously, too much like hard work for the vile and odious Ashley and his mouthpiece. Earlier on Monday, Barton, who has a year remaining on his contract at St James' Park said on Twitter that he would make an announcement on his future at 4pm. But before he could do so, the club made their statement on their website saying he could leave the club for free before the end of his contract. On Sunday, Barton tweeted that there was unrest behind-the-scenes at Gallowgate after the club fined full-back Jose Enrique for accusing the club of 'lacking ambition' also on Twitter. It's worth noting, at this point, and without going into any of the rights and wrongs of all this malarkey that this is one of the main reasons why yer actual Keith Telly Topping dislikes Twitter so much. Because it's almost designed to stir up trouble where keeping ones trap shut in public might, just, not stir up trouble. How many people now - in a variety of different fields - have found themselves sacked, fined, suspended or the subject of tabloid interest - because they've made their mouths go on Twitter? You'd think one or two of them might have learned something by now. 'If only we as players could tell the fans exactly how it is, without them above fining us lots of money. There will be a time and a place,' tweeted Barton. 'If it wouldn't effect [sic] team morale and cause unrest within the dressing room. Am certain Jose's comments would be the tip of the iceberg. And, again, it would be left to those magnificent fans to pick up the remnants of their once great football club. If I wanted to leave, I'd just come out and say "I want to leave." Things need addressing as am not prepared to go through a relegation again. If I didn't care, I'd say fuck all and pick my money up.' Barton has been furiously tweeting on a variety of topics in recent days ranging from criticism of US/UK foreign policy, his impending fatherhood and the sanity of Manchester City's Mario Balotelli. In response to the club's announcement, Barton said: 'Somewhere in those high echelons of NUFC, they have decided I am persona non grata.' Blimey. Joey Barton just used Latin. And correctly, as well. See, he's not just a gormless thug with anger issues. Barton later added: 'I am on a free but the honour of wearing those B+W stripes, surpasses that. One day the board might realise, what the shirt signifies. HONOUR and PRIDE. Thanks for your continued support. Toon Army.' In his final tweet on the subject, Barton also quoted from The Smiths' 'That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore' ('I've seen this happen in other people's lives now it's happening in mine'). And, he's not wrong, you know. It is too close to home and it is too near the bone. Newcastle's owner, the vile and odious Ashley, had hoped to sell the twenty eight-year-old, who joined the Magpies from Manchester City for £5.8m in 2007, this summer but a deal has not materialised. This has also, for the second time in six months, rather spectacularly undermined the latest occupant of the vile and odious Ashley's manager's office, Alan Pardew, who has been making nosies all summer about wanted Barton as part of his side - to the point of making him club captain. Dear blog readers may remember in January Pardew making numerous statements that Andy Carroll would not be sold. Just before Carroll was sold, to Liverpool. Bet you're really regretting taking on this particular poisoned chalice now, Alan. Although, I'm sure the pay's good. After serving a six-month ban from football and a seventy seven-day prison sentence for common assault, Barton has rebuilt his career at St James' Park. Though he clashed with then manager Alan Shearer and was suspended in 2009, he resolved his differences with the club and played a key role in helping the Magpies gain promotion to the Premier League under Chris Hughton in 2010 winning over many supporters who had previously been openly hostile towards his continued presence in the club. Including, it should be noted, yer actual Keith Telly Topping who always admired Barton's ability but considered him at times a liability. For the most part, those rash and violent tendencies were curbed by Barton who seemed to be maturing, rather unexpectedly, into a reasonably decent human being. Last season, he scored four goals and set up nine more as Newcastle ensured their top flight survival by finishing twelfth. For many supporters he was a leading contender for player of the season. Talks on the subject of a new contract were put on hold when Andy Carroll left for Liverpool in January and stalled once more when his good friend and captain Kevin Nolan signed for West Ham, despite Barton saying that he wanted to stay with club. As the club's unofficial fansite nufc.com sensibly notes: 'So, a situation that has festered for over two months comes to a head less than a fortnight before we open up our league season. Good old Newcastle United. That our first game sees us meet Arsenal at SJP is grimly ironic, given that last season's 4-4 draw on Tyneside was a prime example of Joey Barton's positive effectiveness: controlled aggression, coolness from the penalty spot, a refusal to give up the fight and inspiration to galvanise those around him on the field and in the stands. In a word, spirit - the very thing that many fans were relying on Barton to provide this season following the departure of Kevin Nolan. His departure makes us look less United, less threatening and less competitive - in isolation cause for concern but as a whole, a massive worry.' That's what you get for supporting Newcastle, dear blog reader. A club that never has a drama where a crisis won't do in its place.