Uruguay became the last nation to book their spot at the 2014 World Cup finals in Brazil with a 0-0 second-leg draw against play-off opponents Jordan. Uruguay had all but secured their berth with a 5-0 victory in the first leg. Uruguay dominated the first half in the return leg in Montevideo and came closest to scoring when Diego Godin headed against the crossbar. 'We're all happy because the truth is it's been a hard road,' said striker Edinson Cavani. 
Uruguay were competing in the World Cup qualifying play-offs for the fourth successive tournament, but knew that it would take a miraculous effort for Jordan to overturn five goal deficit. The South Americans, who are currently ranked sixth in the world, boast a rich World Cup pedigree having won the trophy in 1930 and 1950 and also reached the semi-finals last time out in South Africa. But Oscar Tabarez's men finished fifth in their continent's qualifying after being edged out of the automatic places by Ecuador on goal difference. It meant that they were forced to negotiate a two-legged tie against a Jordan side, who had beaten Uzbekistan in the Asian qualifying group to reach the play-off. However, with Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws striker Luis Suarez partnered up front by Paris St-Germain's fifty five million quid striker Cavani, they were always likely to have too much firepower for the Middle East nation. Jordan, who have never appeared at the World Cup finals, are ranked sixty four places below Uruguay in the world.
France became the first European team to overturn a two goal first-leg deficit to reach the World Cup with a thrilling 3-0 victory over ten-man Ukraine. Mamadou Sakho tucked in Franck Ribery's shot and Karim Benzema levelled the tie from an apparent offside position, having been wrongly denied by the linesman's flag earlier. Ukraine's Yevhen Khacheridi was sent off early in the second half and the tie was decided when Sakho converted Ribery's cross under pressure from Oleg Gusev. At the time of Khacheridi's dismissal, France were 2-0 up after a pulsating opening period but any chance that Ukraine had of altering the flow of the match then drained away. His red card was certainly avoidable after receiving a first yellow card for shoving Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws defender Sakho before half-time and he thoughtlessly fouled Ribery two minutes into the second half. France coach Didier Deschamps asked for an 'exceptional' match from his team and - led by an impressive display from the recalled Yohan Cabeye, they replied in some style as they handed Ukraine their first defeat of 2013 and avoided becoming the first French side to miss out on the World Cup since they failed to qualify for the 1994 finals.
That mark on France's rich football history came via a final qualifier defeat by Bulgaria in November 1993 - and roared on by a partisan crowd at the Stade de France, the 1998 World Cup winners seemed determined not to suffer the same fate. Marseille's Mathieu Valbuena and Bayern Munich's Ribery were a menace throughout, conjuring a variety of deadly set-plays, quick combinations and strong running. And they were involved in several exchanges as Valbuena, Juventus midfielder Paul Pogba and Real Madrid's Benzema all went close to opening the scoring in the first twenty minutes. It was in stark contrast to an insipid first-leg display in Ukraine, who this time struggled to begin with but looked to be finding their feet when the hosts went ahead. Ukraine managed to clear Valbuena's free-kick and although Andriy Pyatov made a superb save to stop Ribery's fierce shot, Sakho was on hand to crash the ball in. Deschamps' side then continued their first-half onslaught as Pogba fired over but they were fortunate to grab their second goal after thirty four minutes, although they will feel that justice was served after Benzema was previously ruled offside for a goal when he appeared to be level with the Ukraine defence. The Real Madrid forward had his first effort disallowed after tucking in Ribery's cross on the half-hour mark. Then four minutes later, Cabaye's shot through a congested penalty area struck Valbuena before falling for Benzema, and despite being offside by two yards, the goal was allowed to stand. Ukraine almost clawed a goal back when Mathieu Debuchy blocked Andriy Yarmalenko's goal-bound shot with France goalkeeper Hugo Lloris beaten. However, their task became more difficult after the break when Khacheridi received two yellow cards in the space of two minutes either side of the interval. Benzema wasted a great chance to put France ahead as he fired over from ten yards when he had time and space to shoot after more good work by Ribery. But when Ribery crossed in from the right, Sakho directed the ball home from close range to send France to the World Cup.
Nigeria became the first African nation to reach the World Cup finals after a 2-0 victory over Ethiopia in Calabar confirmed a 4-1 aggregate play-off win. Victor Moses coolly slotted home a first half penalty before substitute Victor Obinna slammed home a late free-kick to see Nigeria through to their fifth World Cup finals in six attempts. Efe Ambrose had the first Nigerian shot in the opening moments after Brown Ideye had broken into the Ethiopian penalty area, but the Glasgow Celtic defender's effort was wild and high. Sisay Bancha then produced a wonderful double save after a seemingly innocuous throw-in by Ahmed Musa reached Emmanuel Emenike in space inside the Ethiopia penalty area. His shot was stopped and Moses' follow up was turned behind for a corner by the Ethiopia goalkeeper. The game then turned in Nigeria's favour as Musa received the ball on the Nigeria left and attempted a cross.
Aynalem Hailu - the defender who conceded a last-minute penalty in Addis Ababa - jumped to block and was - perhaps harshly - adjudged to have handled the ball. Moses stepped up, and scored an almost identical penalty to Emenike's first leg effort, passing the ball into the bottom right-hand corner and sending Bancha the wrong way. It was Moses' third penalty against Ethiopia in 2013, having scored two spot kicks against the Waliya Antelopes at this year's CAF Africa Cup of Nations. Ogenyi Onazi then received the ball on the Nigeria right and whipped in a cross to the back post, but Ideye headed wide of the goal. The two combined again just before the interval, with Onazi's shot from distance parried by Bancha and Ideye hitting his follow-up over the bar. Salahdin Ahmed found himself free of the Nigeria defence after the break, but the in-form Vincent Enyeama rushed off his line to smother the ball before the Ethiopia number seven could get his shot away. Emenike then sprinted in behind the Ethiopian defence after a through ball by Onazi, but Bancha was quickly off his line to thwart the Fenerbahce frontman. Ahmed was brought down by Moscow Chelski's Kenneth Omeruo on the edge of the box, and took the resulting free kick but it was wasted and Shemeles Bekele found himself offside after the ball was chipped back into the box. The second half continued to move along at a relaxed pace, until Obinna's late free kick. The Lokomotiv Moscow forward curled his right-footed effort past Bancha, who should really have done better with the set piece. As the rain began to hammer down towards the end, the Ethiopians' sour mood matched the miserable weather, but the hosts did not care. They danced jubilantly and joined the crowd in celebration on the final whistle as their thoughts turned to next summer's carnival of soc-her in Brazil.
Sweden captain Zlatan Ibrahimovic says that the World Cup is 'not worth watching' without him after their play-off loss. The Paris St-Germain striker scored twice against Portugal on Tuesday but Cristiano Ronaldo's hat-trick took his side through 4-2 on aggregate. Ibrahimovic got a reet sulky lip on when he said: 'It was probably the last attempt to reach the World Cup with the national team for me. A World Cup without me is nothing to watch so it is not worthwhile to wait for the World Cup.' Oooo. Get her. The play-off between Sweden and Portugal, who had both finished second in their qualifying groups, had been billed as a showdown between Ibrahimovic and Ronaldo - two of the best players in the world. They ended up scoring all six goals between them as Portugal won 4-2 on aggregate.
Former Inter Milan forward Ibrahimovic, who has played in two World Cups, scored eight times in qualifying, including the play-offs, and assisted another six goals - having a hand in fourteen out of Sweden's twenty one goals. He told UEFA's website: 'Why did we lose? To be honest, they were better than us. We should be proud. We couldn't have done better than we did. Of course, we could look back at our mistakes, but these things happen. They punished our mistakes. After making it 2-1 it felt like we were on a roll, our hopes grew, but unfortunately they made it 2-2 soon afterwards.' Real Madrid forward Ronaldo, who has scored thirty four goals in twenty four games this season for club and country, said: 'I just did my job, as I have been doing lately. I always try to give my best - that is always my goal.' He is now Portugal's joint-top scorer, along with retired former Paris St-Germain striker Pauleta on forty seven. 'It was not a priority for me to break Pauleta's record,' the twenty eight-year-old said. 'I knew Portugal needed me and I stuck to the task at hand. Now we have some time to rest and to do our best for our clubs before starting to think about the World Cup finals.'
Ghana were the top scorers in the African qualifiers with eighteen goals in six group matches and managed more points (fifteen) than any other country in their region, though they did suffer a surprise 1-0 loss away against Zambia. But they made light work of overcoming one of the continent's dominant sides, Egypt, in the play-offs, winning 7-3 on aggregate. Algeria knocked out Burkina Faso on away goals after a 3-3 draw in their play-off tie - and had a close escape in stoppage time when a clearance struck their own crossbar. Cameroon qualified for the World Cup for the seventh time - a record for an African nation. Japan might have qualified with the highest points tally in the Asian competition, but special mention must go to Iran, who managed to top their five-team group despite scoring just eight goals in eight matches. Their defence proved crucial, conceding only twice in seven hundred and twenty minutes of qualifying action.
Australia managed only three wins from a group containing Iraq, Oman, Jordan and Japan, form which would eventually contribute to their coach, Holger Osieck, getting the tin tack, but they still made it to Rio by the skin of their teeth. Seven teams made it through the whole campaign without losing in Europe (Belgium, England, Germany, Italy, Netherlands, Spain and Switzerland), but it is the records of the Germans and Dutch that stand out: played ten, won nine, drawn one, both amassing twenty eight points from a possible thirty and scoring seventy goals between them. With just seconds left of the entire campaign, Mexico's hopes were all but over. Their defeat on the final day against Costa Rica in the Confacaf section meant that Panama, playing at the same time, needed only to beat the already-qualified United States at home to book their place in Brazil. With the Panamanians leading 2-1 in injury time, the Americans struck back, scoring in the ninety first and ninety second minutes, to end Panama's dream in the most painful of circumstances. The Mexies then went on to beat New Zealand in the play-off meaning that, for the first time in a couple of world cups, Oceania does not have a representative at the finals (Australia, of course, now play in the Asian qualifying group considering themselves to be too good to play with the likes of Samoa and Fiji). The United States topped the Confacaf qualifying group but Jurgen Klinsmann's men were not without their problems - they lost to Jamaica, Costa Rica and Honduras along the way. In the absence of Brazil, who qualify automatically as hosts, there was a three-way tussle at the top of the South American table between eventual group winners Argentina, Colombia and the impressive Chile. The three sides all finished with nine wins from their sixteen matches, but it was the combined firepower of Lionel Messi and Gonzalo Higuain, who between them scored nineteen goals, which made the difference for Argentina.
Plans to 'inject some fun' at yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle United's St James' Park stadium by installing slides outside of the ground have been vetoed by the club. On the grounds, presumably, that nobody has 'fun' at St James' Park these days. Company NE1 announced plans in February to build two 'travel accelerators' beside the car park at the stadium. But the firm said that the plan had now been shelved after United, which owns the land, said it was 'no longer available for use.' The club declined to comment further. As usual.
Newcastle currently lie ninth in the Premier League and have been having a good run of form recently, with wins against both Moscow Chelski FC and Stottingtot Hotshots, but the season has been somewhat soured by some fans' general grumpy unhappiness with the club's owner, PC disaster-waiting-to-happen Mike Ashley. In October, hundreds marched through the city to protest against the way Ashley has been running the club. The slides, which were intended 'to inject some fun' into Newcastle, will not be located elsewhere as they had been designed for the area around the ground, NE1 said. It said it was now 'moving its attention' to other areas in the city. The idea was part of the 'pocket park programme', designed to 'infuse new life' into areas of the city centre which were 'neglected or underused.' The plans were submitted to the council's planning committee earlier in the year. They would have been a similar in design to ones used by commuters at Overvecht railway station in Utrecht, Netherlands.
Uruguay were competing in the World Cup qualifying play-offs for the fourth successive tournament, but knew that it would take a miraculous effort for Jordan to overturn five goal deficit. The South Americans, who are currently ranked sixth in the world, boast a rich World Cup pedigree having won the trophy in 1930 and 1950 and also reached the semi-finals last time out in South Africa. But Oscar Tabarez's men finished fifth in their continent's qualifying after being edged out of the automatic places by Ecuador on goal difference. It meant that they were forced to negotiate a two-legged tie against a Jordan side, who had beaten Uzbekistan in the Asian qualifying group to reach the play-off. However, with Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws striker Luis Suarez partnered up front by Paris St-Germain's fifty five million quid striker Cavani, they were always likely to have too much firepower for the Middle East nation. Jordan, who have never appeared at the World Cup finals, are ranked sixty four places below Uruguay in the world.France became the first European team to overturn a two goal first-leg deficit to reach the World Cup with a thrilling 3-0 victory over ten-man Ukraine. Mamadou Sakho tucked in Franck Ribery's shot and Karim Benzema levelled the tie from an apparent offside position, having been wrongly denied by the linesman's flag earlier. Ukraine's Yevhen Khacheridi was sent off early in the second half and the tie was decided when Sakho converted Ribery's cross under pressure from Oleg Gusev. At the time of Khacheridi's dismissal, France were 2-0 up after a pulsating opening period but any chance that Ukraine had of altering the flow of the match then drained away. His red card was certainly avoidable after receiving a first yellow card for shoving Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws defender Sakho before half-time and he thoughtlessly fouled Ribery two minutes into the second half. France coach Didier Deschamps asked for an 'exceptional' match from his team and - led by an impressive display from the recalled Yohan Cabeye, they replied in some style as they handed Ukraine their first defeat of 2013 and avoided becoming the first French side to miss out on the World Cup since they failed to qualify for the 1994 finals.
That mark on France's rich football history came via a final qualifier defeat by Bulgaria in November 1993 - and roared on by a partisan crowd at the Stade de France, the 1998 World Cup winners seemed determined not to suffer the same fate. Marseille's Mathieu Valbuena and Bayern Munich's Ribery were a menace throughout, conjuring a variety of deadly set-plays, quick combinations and strong running. And they were involved in several exchanges as Valbuena, Juventus midfielder Paul Pogba and Real Madrid's Benzema all went close to opening the scoring in the first twenty minutes. It was in stark contrast to an insipid first-leg display in Ukraine, who this time struggled to begin with but looked to be finding their feet when the hosts went ahead. Ukraine managed to clear Valbuena's free-kick and although Andriy Pyatov made a superb save to stop Ribery's fierce shot, Sakho was on hand to crash the ball in. Deschamps' side then continued their first-half onslaught as Pogba fired over but they were fortunate to grab their second goal after thirty four minutes, although they will feel that justice was served after Benzema was previously ruled offside for a goal when he appeared to be level with the Ukraine defence. The Real Madrid forward had his first effort disallowed after tucking in Ribery's cross on the half-hour mark. Then four minutes later, Cabaye's shot through a congested penalty area struck Valbuena before falling for Benzema, and despite being offside by two yards, the goal was allowed to stand. Ukraine almost clawed a goal back when Mathieu Debuchy blocked Andriy Yarmalenko's goal-bound shot with France goalkeeper Hugo Lloris beaten. However, their task became more difficult after the break when Khacheridi received two yellow cards in the space of two minutes either side of the interval. Benzema wasted a great chance to put France ahead as he fired over from ten yards when he had time and space to shoot after more good work by Ribery. But when Ribery crossed in from the right, Sakho directed the ball home from close range to send France to the World Cup.Nigeria became the first African nation to reach the World Cup finals after a 2-0 victory over Ethiopia in Calabar confirmed a 4-1 aggregate play-off win. Victor Moses coolly slotted home a first half penalty before substitute Victor Obinna slammed home a late free-kick to see Nigeria through to their fifth World Cup finals in six attempts. Efe Ambrose had the first Nigerian shot in the opening moments after Brown Ideye had broken into the Ethiopian penalty area, but the Glasgow Celtic defender's effort was wild and high. Sisay Bancha then produced a wonderful double save after a seemingly innocuous throw-in by Ahmed Musa reached Emmanuel Emenike in space inside the Ethiopia penalty area. His shot was stopped and Moses' follow up was turned behind for a corner by the Ethiopia goalkeeper. The game then turned in Nigeria's favour as Musa received the ball on the Nigeria left and attempted a cross.
Aynalem Hailu - the defender who conceded a last-minute penalty in Addis Ababa - jumped to block and was - perhaps harshly - adjudged to have handled the ball. Moses stepped up, and scored an almost identical penalty to Emenike's first leg effort, passing the ball into the bottom right-hand corner and sending Bancha the wrong way. It was Moses' third penalty against Ethiopia in 2013, having scored two spot kicks against the Waliya Antelopes at this year's CAF Africa Cup of Nations. Ogenyi Onazi then received the ball on the Nigeria right and whipped in a cross to the back post, but Ideye headed wide of the goal. The two combined again just before the interval, with Onazi's shot from distance parried by Bancha and Ideye hitting his follow-up over the bar. Salahdin Ahmed found himself free of the Nigeria defence after the break, but the in-form Vincent Enyeama rushed off his line to smother the ball before the Ethiopia number seven could get his shot away. Emenike then sprinted in behind the Ethiopian defence after a through ball by Onazi, but Bancha was quickly off his line to thwart the Fenerbahce frontman. Ahmed was brought down by Moscow Chelski's Kenneth Omeruo on the edge of the box, and took the resulting free kick but it was wasted and Shemeles Bekele found himself offside after the ball was chipped back into the box. The second half continued to move along at a relaxed pace, until Obinna's late free kick. The Lokomotiv Moscow forward curled his right-footed effort past Bancha, who should really have done better with the set piece. As the rain began to hammer down towards the end, the Ethiopians' sour mood matched the miserable weather, but the hosts did not care. They danced jubilantly and joined the crowd in celebration on the final whistle as their thoughts turned to next summer's carnival of soc-her in Brazil.Sweden captain Zlatan Ibrahimovic says that the World Cup is 'not worth watching' without him after their play-off loss. The Paris St-Germain striker scored twice against Portugal on Tuesday but Cristiano Ronaldo's hat-trick took his side through 4-2 on aggregate. Ibrahimovic got a reet sulky lip on when he said: 'It was probably the last attempt to reach the World Cup with the national team for me. A World Cup without me is nothing to watch so it is not worthwhile to wait for the World Cup.' Oooo. Get her. The play-off between Sweden and Portugal, who had both finished second in their qualifying groups, had been billed as a showdown between Ibrahimovic and Ronaldo - two of the best players in the world. They ended up scoring all six goals between them as Portugal won 4-2 on aggregate.
Former Inter Milan forward Ibrahimovic, who has played in two World Cups, scored eight times in qualifying, including the play-offs, and assisted another six goals - having a hand in fourteen out of Sweden's twenty one goals. He told UEFA's website: 'Why did we lose? To be honest, they were better than us. We should be proud. We couldn't have done better than we did. Of course, we could look back at our mistakes, but these things happen. They punished our mistakes. After making it 2-1 it felt like we were on a roll, our hopes grew, but unfortunately they made it 2-2 soon afterwards.' Real Madrid forward Ronaldo, who has scored thirty four goals in twenty four games this season for club and country, said: 'I just did my job, as I have been doing lately. I always try to give my best - that is always my goal.' He is now Portugal's joint-top scorer, along with retired former Paris St-Germain striker Pauleta on forty seven. 'It was not a priority for me to break Pauleta's record,' the twenty eight-year-old said. 'I knew Portugal needed me and I stuck to the task at hand. Now we have some time to rest and to do our best for our clubs before starting to think about the World Cup finals.'Ghana were the top scorers in the African qualifiers with eighteen goals in six group matches and managed more points (fifteen) than any other country in their region, though they did suffer a surprise 1-0 loss away against Zambia. But they made light work of overcoming one of the continent's dominant sides, Egypt, in the play-offs, winning 7-3 on aggregate. Algeria knocked out Burkina Faso on away goals after a 3-3 draw in their play-off tie - and had a close escape in stoppage time when a clearance struck their own crossbar. Cameroon qualified for the World Cup for the seventh time - a record for an African nation. Japan might have qualified with the highest points tally in the Asian competition, but special mention must go to Iran, who managed to top their five-team group despite scoring just eight goals in eight matches. Their defence proved crucial, conceding only twice in seven hundred and twenty minutes of qualifying action.
Australia managed only three wins from a group containing Iraq, Oman, Jordan and Japan, form which would eventually contribute to their coach, Holger Osieck, getting the tin tack, but they still made it to Rio by the skin of their teeth. Seven teams made it through the whole campaign without losing in Europe (Belgium, England, Germany, Italy, Netherlands, Spain and Switzerland), but it is the records of the Germans and Dutch that stand out: played ten, won nine, drawn one, both amassing twenty eight points from a possible thirty and scoring seventy goals between them. With just seconds left of the entire campaign, Mexico's hopes were all but over. Their defeat on the final day against Costa Rica in the Confacaf section meant that Panama, playing at the same time, needed only to beat the already-qualified United States at home to book their place in Brazil. With the Panamanians leading 2-1 in injury time, the Americans struck back, scoring in the ninety first and ninety second minutes, to end Panama's dream in the most painful of circumstances. The Mexies then went on to beat New Zealand in the play-off meaning that, for the first time in a couple of world cups, Oceania does not have a representative at the finals (Australia, of course, now play in the Asian qualifying group considering themselves to be too good to play with the likes of Samoa and Fiji). The United States topped the Confacaf qualifying group but Jurgen Klinsmann's men were not without their problems - they lost to Jamaica, Costa Rica and Honduras along the way. In the absence of Brazil, who qualify automatically as hosts, there was a three-way tussle at the top of the South American table between eventual group winners Argentina, Colombia and the impressive Chile. The three sides all finished with nine wins from their sixteen matches, but it was the combined firepower of Lionel Messi and Gonzalo Higuain, who between them scored nineteen goals, which made the difference for Argentina.Plans to 'inject some fun' at yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle United's St James' Park stadium by installing slides outside of the ground have been vetoed by the club. On the grounds, presumably, that nobody has 'fun' at St James' Park these days. Company NE1 announced plans in February to build two 'travel accelerators' beside the car park at the stadium. But the firm said that the plan had now been shelved after United, which owns the land, said it was 'no longer available for use.' The club declined to comment further. As usual.
Newcastle currently lie ninth in the Premier League and have been having a good run of form recently, with wins against both Moscow Chelski FC and Stottingtot Hotshots, but the season has been somewhat soured by some fans' general grumpy unhappiness with the club's owner, PC disaster-waiting-to-happen Mike Ashley. In October, hundreds marched through the city to protest against the way Ashley has been running the club. The slides, which were intended 'to inject some fun' into Newcastle, will not be located elsewhere as they had been designed for the area around the ground, NE1 said. It said it was now 'moving its attention' to other areas in the city. The idea was part of the 'pocket park programme', designed to 'infuse new life' into areas of the city centre which were 'neglected or underused.' The plans were submitted to the council's planning committee earlier in the year. They would have been a similar in design to ones used by commuters at Overvecht railway station in Utrecht, Netherlands. 
