The Miracle Of Tottenham High Road

Club record signing Joelinton's first goal in English football gave this blogger's beloved (though, tragically, unsellable) Newcastle United a surprise win at Stottingtot Hotshots on Sunday. And Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) his first points as The Magpies' - alleged - 'manager.' After a week of intense media - and, far more importantly, fan - criticism which followed a truly gutless, directionless display at Norwich by Th' Toon, the Brazilian striker took advantage of sloppy Spurs defending to control substitute Christian Atsu's through pass before drilling low past Hugo Lloris. Atsu, on after Allan Saint-Maximin had to go off with an early hamstring injury, provided the assist with his first significant contribution. Spurs lacked the creativity to break down a resolute Newcastle side, whose four-man midfield of Ritchie, Almiron, Longstaff and Hayden spent a large chunk of the contest sitting deep in front of the back four (with Paul Dummett particularly outstanding). Son Heung-min, making his first Spurs appearance of the season after completing a three-match suspension, saw a bouncing first-half volley beaten away by Martin Dubravka, then rolled a shot wide shortly before the interval. Spurs boss Mauricio Pochettino sent on Christian Eriksen and Giovani Lo Celso for the final half-hour in an attempt to salvage something from the five hundredth match of his managerial career. It almost worked: Lo Celso's pass for Harry Kane ended with the England captain falling under Jamaal Lascelles' challenge - but Mike Dean ruled, rightly, that it was not a penalty and was backed up by the check from video assistant referee Anthony Taylor. Then Eriksen's diagonal pass gave Moussa Sissoko room to cross low, but Lucas Moura skied his shot over the bar from eight yards. However these were rare moments of panic for the visitors, with Stottingtot's fitfulness on the pitch mirrored by an equally lack-lustre display by home followers - prompting chants of 'Is this The Emirates?' from the away section. Thoughts that the game was turning into a re-run of United's one-nil win at White Tart Lane in 2013 were conjured up, but while that epic victory was achieved largely due to the heroics of Tim Krul in Th' Toon's goal, Spurs proved ultimately incapable of testing Martin Dubravka to any comparable extent in 2019. The most relieved man in the ground was probably Brucie, but the away supporters were entitled to enjoy what was - quite literally - a day out in the sun. Undeterred by transport headaches for the second weekend in a row, not to mention an all-pervading sense of doom surrounding the club, this was a timely reminder of just why some fans put themselves through those early starts and late finishes. It still matters. Following some cricket-related shenanigans at Headingley a few hours earlier, that two miracles in one day, dear blog reader. This blogger had a quick look out of the window because, the last time this happened, some wise men came from the East ...

Boreham Wood chairman Danny Hunter says he may reduce his investment in the club after a 'laughable' crowd of four hundred and seven saw their defeat by Sutton on Saturday. The National League side have averaged six hundred and fifty five fans over three home games so far this season. Taking away season-ticket holders and travelling fans, Hunter claimed that there were only forty six paying Boreham Wood supporters at Saturday's match. 'I've got to reassess what more I can do, as the town clearly doesn't want to consciously support its club,' he said. 'Saturday's abysmal crowd just makes me feel sad, as so much hard work goes into making this club over achieve every year and we just want a bit more support for those efforts.' Boreham Wood reached the 2017-18 National League play-off final, but fall well below the average divisional attendance of around two thousand three hundred so far this season. The Hertfordshire club - promoted four times since 2005-06 - introduced a ninety nine quid adult season ticket this summer in a bid to increase crowds, but Hunter said it had not improved matters. 'I suppose if you want an excuse, the lower than normal crowd could be put down to three hundred adult and OAP ninety nine pound season ticket holders, who took up our offer but never bothered to turn up and support us,' Hunter told the club website. 'I'm probably just feeling a bit sorry for myself, but four hundred and seven as a gate attendance at our level is laughable.' Hunter claims that he has put half-a-million smackers into the club since February, with a total spend of 1.2 million knicker over the summer to build a new stand and upgrade facilities. 'It might simply be the right time to re-evaluate my own ambitions and consider downsizing my year-on-year investment here and get rid of a few of the white elephants in the room,' he added.

Mansfield have suspended Dion Donohue and Jacob Mellis for 'an alleged serious breach of club discipline.' Police said that two men, aged twenty five and twenty eight, have been released on bail following 'an incident' which left two other men hurt - one needing hospital treatment - on Friday. Donohue, who is twenty five and Mellis, twenty eight, are currently banned from training and playing for the League Two club while suspended. Mellis, a former Moscow Chelski FC and Southampton player and Donohue, who joined Mansfield from Portsmouth in July, did not play in Saturday's two-nil League Two win at Carlisle. Mellis was completing a three-game ban following his opening-day sending-off against Newport anyway, while Donohue was said to be 'recovering from injury.' Last week, police issued an appeal for witnesses after officers were called to an incident in Mansfield town centre, arresting two men on suspicion of assault.

Sierra Leone forward Musa Noah Kamara has had his contract with Swedish club Trelleborgs cancelled after just one week. The club simply stated that the nineteen-year-old's three-and-a-half year deal was ended. 'He wishes to return to his home country for personal reasons,' Trelleborgs said in a statement on their website. Kamara went on to explain that he wanted to return to Freetown as he could not cope with the cold weather in Sweden. He finished as the top goal scorer of 2019 Sierra Leone Premier league with fifteen goals to help East End Lions emerge as champions.

Clyde manager Danny Lennon helped his side beat Glasgow Celtic's colts team - despite being thirty three years older than one of the opposition. The fifty-year-old, who hung up his boots eleven years ago, brought himself on at Broadwood for a second-half cameo appearance. Lennon was up against the likes of Parkhead teenage talent Armstrong Okoflex, aged seventeen. The Lanarkshire side claimed a three-one Glasgow Cup victory. It is unclear why the Clyde boss felt the urge to make his return to action.

Dirty Stoke manager Nathan Jones claims 'there must be something on the mind' of Dirty Stoke's goalkeeper Jack Butland after his calamitous error-strewn display in The Potters' defeat at Preston Both Ends. The hosts were two goals up inside twenty five minutes at Deepdale, with both goals stemming from mistakes by the twenty six-year-old England keeper. Daniel Johnson put Preston in front with a low, scuffed strike from the edge of the box which Butland failed to turn around the post. He was, again, at fault for Both Ends' second, allowing Billy Bodin's shot from outside the area to slide under his body and in to the net. 'No one talks about him as being a Stoke goalkeeper,' Jones told Radio 5Live. 'Everyone talks about him losing his place in the England side or that he's got to go abroad or leave Stoke to gain this or that. But he's got to do his job for Stoke first. I don't know where he must be mentally because there's so much talk about him, but realistically we all have to do our job for Stoke. You don't go from being a top goalkeeper to making errors like he is at the minute. There must be something playing on his mind.'

Bury have been given until 5pm on Tuesday to complete a sale that would prevent them from being expelled from the English Football League. Owner Steve Dale said late on Friday - the day on which the Football Legaue had threatened to bury Bury - that he had agreed a deal to sell the club to analytics company C&N Sporting Risk. The League One club had originally been given until midnight on Friday to prove they could pay off creditors and had funding to complete the season. The Shakers have not played any of their first six games of the season. Their first five league matches were suspended by the EFL and they have also been withdrawn from the Carabao Cup. 'The board has considered the evidence presented and has determined, in a final effort to allow the club the opportunity to survive, to grant an extension and work exclusively with the club and C&N Sporting Risk to see if a takeover is possible,' the EFL executive chair Debbie Jevans said. 'No one wants to see a club lose its place in the league and we will now work with the potential purchasers over the weekend and ahead of the Tuesday deadline in an attempt to find the solutions required for a sale to take place.'

Former Ghana, Nottingham Forest and Bristol Rovers striker Junior Agogo has died at the age of forty. Agogo, who began his career at Sheffield Wednesday, played twenty seven times for his country and scored twelve goals. He finished his career at Hibernian in 2012 having also had spells in the United States, Cyprus and Egypt. Agogo suffered a stroke in 2015 and struggled with his speech afterwards, telling a BBC4 documentary in 2017 that he felt anxious about his language. Agogo sealed his place in the hearts of Ghana fans with his performances at the 2008 Africa Cup of Nations where he scored three goals including a late winner against Nigeria in Accra. 'I think that was the goal that sealed his popularity in Ghana,' Laryea Kingston, the former Heart of Midlothian midfielder said. 'During the tournament we could feel his influence in the team grow and his popularity go up but that goal sealed everything.' Despite playing alongside big names like Michael Essien and Asamoah Gyan, Agogo was the team's star man during the tournament. 'A lot of fans didn't know but those of us in the team knew he was going to be good for us,' Kingston added. 'He spent a lot of time in the gym and his strength reflected in the way he played. He simply wanted to score goals and make a mark for the team and I am glad he did. He had a word for everyone, enjoyed a good dance, could tease a lot and take it too. This has really hit a lot of us.'

Whom To Believe?

Writing his first column for The Athletic website, Rafa The (Former) Gaffer Benitez took the opportunity of responding to various comments made by Lee Charnley which appeared in Sunday's Newcastle United match programme regarding his recent departure from this blogger's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies and subsequent move to China: '"Wherever you go, go with all your heart,"' Rafa wrote. 'I would like to start my first column for The Athletic with this quote from Confucius, the Chinese philosopher and politician. People in Newcastle have been talking about my decision to move to China without knowing what happened behind the scenes during my three years at St James’ Park. I haven't wanted to say too much about that - I've encouraged supporters to get behind Steve Bruce and his new team - but I've been made aware of what Lee Charnley, Newcastle's managing director, claimed in the club's match programme last weekend and I think it's important I address that. Hopefully, it will be the last time I have to do so. In the future I want to write about football and nothing but football. When I joined Newcastle in 2016, I did it with all my heart. I could feel the history and see the potential of the club and I wanted to be part of a project and to stay close to my family on Merseyside. I tried to do my best every day, even staying when we went down to the Championship and saying no to other offers - bigger offers than the one I recently accepted with Dalian Yifang, by the way. If I was only interested in moving "for money," as Charnley stated, I could have done it much earlier. Over my long career and especially in my time at Newcastle, I've always shown commitment to my club, its city and its community and I've done it with professionalism and honesty. I want to remember the good moments I spent in the North-East - and there were many of them - and not have to keep denying things about my time there or about my departure. Newcastle's board had a year to sort out my contract but, when we met after the end of last season, they didn't make me a proper offer. They told me they didn't want to invest in the academy or the training ground - if they like, I can explain the reason why Mike Ashley refused to do that. Their idea of a project was a policy of signing players under twenty four and, in my opinion, the budget available was not enough to compete for the top ten. After that meeting, I knew they would not come back with a serious offer and, when it arrived, nineteen days later, it was for the same salary as three years earlier and with less control over signings. Charnley's comments in the programme about having a deal agreed for Joelinton in February explains a lot that I couldn't understand at that time. After three years of unfulfilled promises, I didn't trust them. When we finished tenth in the Premier League in our first season back, all players and staff were paid a bonus - aside from my coaching team. That felt like a punishment for me not signing an extension. So, by the end, I knew there would not be a proper offer and they knew I was not signing. I couldn't explain that in public because I was not allowed to talk to the press without their permission, so I was waiting until late June, like every fan, hoping there would be good news about Newcastle's prospective takeover. The time was passing and we were losing job opportunities in Europe. I couldn't wait forever. I'm a family man and I have a responsibility to them, my staff, Paco, Antonio and Mikel and their families, too. I don't like to gamble with the future of my people. In front of us we had three options: nothing serious from Newcastle, the hope of a possible takeover or a different project. Yes, it was a big offer in China - I have never denied that - but it was also another continent and another league, from a club giving us a lot of recognition and respect. That decision wasn't easy, but it was clear. So, here we are in the Chinese Super League with an ambitious club that has a big company in Wanda behind it. At Dalian, we are trying to build something important in this massive, fascinating country. It is another level, another way of doing things, another culture, but they believe in us, they listen to us and their priority is not just to make a profit. They are investing big money in developing a new scouting department, they are building a new training ground for the academy, the under-twenty threes and, obviously, the first team. And, yes, they are using our experience to guide them. The CSL has sixteen clubs so that means thirty league games plus the cup (we are in the semi-finals) and the Asian Champions League, if you qualify. The Chinese Federation tries to promote young players, which means the top teams like Guangzhou Evergrande, who have had the best young Chinese players for years, can manage better than us. We can't compete with them at the moment, but our target this year is to finish in the top ten (we are sixth) and we are improving and growing. They expect us to leave a legacy, the basement on which to build something. The whole experience is a challenge, none bigger than the language. I have worked in Spain, Italy and England, but this is very different. Here, you need a translator for everything: to transmit your thoughts in training sessions, team talks and to the media, down to working on computers. But there is a rich culture here; the city, the food, the life are all nice. And, as I say, we have been treated with nothing but respect. Over the coming weeks, I will talk more about that and more about what's happening in the Premier League but, as I have started with Newcastle, I will finish with them, too. What can I say about them? Before their first game, I wished the players, fans and Steve Bruce all the best and I meant it sincerely, because they deserve it. Arsenal was their first match of the season and their first with a new manager, so we have to give them time. The signings we made to take us from the Championship have more experience in the Premier League now. I think the combination of 'our' young players, like Jamaal Lascelles, Isaac Hayden, DeAndre Yedlin and Javier Manquillo, the new squad members like Miguel Almiron and Sean Longstaff, together with the experience of Paul Dummett, Matt Ritchie, Martin Dubravka, Fabian Schär, Florian Lejeune, Federico Fernandez, Jonjo Shelvey, Ki Sung-Yeung, Ciaran Clark, Karl Darlow and Christian Atsu will be enough to stay up. The new players will have to make the difference if they want to finish better than tenth, but they will need - and they will have - support from the fans, even if they are not happy with how things have been done, because they know the club is bigger than anyone. They have to be United; Newcastle United. On Sunday morning, I switched on my television in Dalian and there was a documentary about Alan Shearer being shown. Can you believe that? It's true. I saw joy in the faces of Newcastle fans after every goal. I didn't need the reminder, because I was there so recently, there with all my heart, but it made me think again about that history and potential. And it made me consider something else: what would an eighteen-year-old Newcastle supporter think about his club now?' Rafa's comments were, subsequently, widely reported in the Torygraph, the Gruniad Morning Star, the Daily Mirra, the Sun, the Independent, the Evening Chronicle, Ninety Minutes, talkSport and ITV. Among many, many other media outlets. So, there you have it, dear blog reader - ultimately, it's a question of whom Newcastle United supporters feel is more trustworthy in their claims; Rafa - adored and missed by pretty much everyone - or weaselling and shifty-looking crass Ashley apologist Charnley. It's a toughie, isn't it?

Super Cup champions Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws maintained their winning start to the season with victory over Southampton at St Mary's. Sadio Mane scored the opener for Herr Klopp's side in a two-one win, having scored twice as The Reds beat Moscow Chelski FC on penalties in Istanbul on Wednesday night. Roberto Firmino added a second, before Adrian's error gifted Saints striker Danny Ings a goal late on. Teemu Pukki scored a hat-trick as last season's Championship winners Norwich City bounced back from their opening-day defeat by Liverpool to record a three-one win over this blogger's beloved (though tragically unsellable and probably relegation-bound) Newcastle United. The Finnish striker, now with four goals in two Premier League matches, produced a stunning first-half volley before securing The Canaries' first points with two more goals after the interval. Newcastle did get a consolation goal in stoppage time through Jonjo Shelvey but this disjointed and toothless display from The Magpies will only ramp up the pressure on Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) and do little to quell the mutinously sour mood around St James' Park at the moment. Championship play-off winners Aston Villains' wait for a first win of the season goes on, as they lost two-one at home to Bournemouth. Joshua King's second-minute penalty and a debut goal for Liverpool loanee Harry Wilson put Eddie Howe's visitors in control, though Douglas Luiz's strike from range handed The Villains a second-half lifeline. Brighton & Hove Albino's summer signing Leandro Trossard cancelled out Javier Hernandez' opener as The Seagulls earned a draw with West Hamsters United at The Amex Stadium. Trossard had earlier seen a first-half goal ruled out by the video assistant referee for offside, but levelled just four minutes after The Hamsters' sixty first-minute opener. Meanwhile, Bernard's tenth-minute goal was enough to earn Everton a narrow victory at home to manager Marco Silva's former side Watford. Earlier on Saturday, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang scored the winning goal as The Arse beat Burnley two-one at The Emirates Stadium. The Gunners initially led through Alexandre Lacazette's opener on his return from injury, but Ashley Barnes levelled for the visitors before half-time. In Saturday's late game, Gabriel Jesus had an injury-time goal ruled out by VAR as Sheikh Yer Man City dropped points at home for the first time since December 2018 with a two-two draw against Stottingtot Hotshots. Raheem Sterling headed City ahead in the first half, but Erik Lamela swiftly equalised. Sergio Aguero flicked home before Lucas Moura headed a second equaliser in soon after coming on of substitute. Jesus then appeared to score in injury time, but it was - rightly - ruled out for a handball by Aymeric Laporte. It was a frustrating result for Sheikh Yer Man City in their first home game of the season, particularly after beginning their title defence with a five-nil win at West Hamsters United last weekend.

AZ Alkmaar will launch an investigation after part of the roof at the AFAS Stadium collapsed on Saturday. The Dutch Eredivisie club's general manager, Robert Eenhoorn, confirmed that there were no injuries sustained when a large section of the roof fell onto seating below amid high winds. AZ were not playing at the time and visit RKC Waalwijk on Sunday. 'This surprised us all. We are very shocked but especially happy that there was no human suffering,' said Eenhoorn. 'In the coming days we will conduct a study with experts in this field. Only when that investigation has been done can we elaborate on the matter. It is much too early for that now.' AZ's next home game is a Europa League third-round qualifier against Ukraine's FC Mariupol on 15 August. However, Eenhoorn said it is too early to confirm whether that match will be able to go ahead at the ground.

ITV have announced they will broadcast three La Liga matches live on ITV4 at the start of the new season. The broadcaster showed live top-flight Spanish matches at the end of last season after previous rights holders Eleven Sports cut short their agreement. ITV will also show weekly La Liga highlights throughout the season on both ITV and ITV4. Live coverage begins with Barcelona's trip to Athletic Bilbao on Friday. Barcelona's first home game against Real Betis on 25 August will also be shown live, before Real Madrid's trip to Villarreal is broadcast on the following weekend.

Porto were knocked out of the Champions League after losing to Russia's FC Krasnodar on away goals, while last season's semi-finalists Ajax survived a scare to make the final play-off round. It is the first time that 2004 winners Porto have missed out on the Champions League group stages since the 2010-11 season. The Portuguese side led one-nil from the first-leg, but were three-nil down after thirty four minutes at the Estadio do Dragao. Despite second-half goals from Ze Luis and Luis Diaz they lost three-two. Ajax came from a goal down to beat Greek Champions PAOK three-two at home, to win five-four on aggregate. Dusan Tadic missed a penalty in the thirty second minute after Diego Biseswar's opener, but the Serbian made amends as he scored from the spot just before half-time. Nicolas Tagliafico doubled Ajax's lead with eleven minutes left, before Tadic scored a second penalty in the five minutes from time minute to make it three-one, with Biseswar getting his second for the visitors in injury time. The Dutch champions will next play Cypriot side Apoel Nicosia for a place in the Champions League group stages. Elsewhere, former champions Red Star Belgrade beat FC Copenhagen seven-six on penalties in a shootout which saw nine out of the twenty two penalties taken missed. The game had earlier ended one-all (two-two on aggregate) in Denmark. Club Bruges are also through after a dramatic three-all draw with Dynamo Kiev in Ukraine, to win four-three on aggregate. The game saw both teams have a player sent off and both also score injury-time goals.

French second division side AS Nancy could face disciplinary action after their match against Le Mans was stopped by the referee due to homophobic chanting by a section of fans. Referee Medi Mokhtari briefly halted the game in the twenty seventh minute at Nancy's Stade Marcel Picot. Players went over to their fans to ask them to stop, while the stadium announcer warned the game would be suspended. The match resumed after a minute. 'These songs have no place in a football stadium,' said Nancy president Jean-Michel Roussier after the match. Mokhtari's actions were praised by sports minister Roxana Maracineanu, who also commended the LFP, the league's governing body. 'I extend my congratulations to referee Mehdi Mokhtari and the delegate of the LFP Alain Marseille who took their responsibilities and decided to interrupt the football match between Nancy and Le Mans for homophobic insults,' she tweeted. 'It's a first. And a last, I hope.' Marlene Schiappa, France's gender equality minister, tweeted: 'Congratulations to referee Mehdi Mokhtari for having bravely interrupted the match against homophobic songs sung at Nancy-Le Mans. Football is an exciting sport. It must remain so for all.'

Scotland manager Shelley Kerr admits she would 'do things differently in hindsight' after some players were reportedly 'reduced to tears' at a meeting the day after The Scotch were knocked out of the World Cup. Kerr admits that she, along with some of her backroom team, 'had a few drinks' with dinner before the debrief. Some players are said to have considered their Scotland futures after the meeting but Kerr insists that the squad is fully behind her. 'There were a few hard and fast conversations,' she told BBC Scotland. 'That will happen in a performance environment. On reflection would I do things differently? Yeah of course. Maybe the timing because the emotions - certainly the circumstance - were so unique.' Scotland lost the opening two games of their first World Cup against England and Japan before conceding three goals in the final sixteen minutes to draw three-three with Argentina when victory would have earned a last-sixteen place in the competition. Kerr is understood to have blamed the players in 'a heated and emotional meeting' in Paris the following day, but she denies suggestions that 'too much alcohol' had been taken. 'The staff were working around the clock and the day after, when the tournament finished, myself and some of the staff went out for a meal and we had a few drinks,' she said. 'You're on time off but of course I can see the perception.' The Scottish FA are 'aware of the matter' and have 'had conversations' with Kerr and certain players. The governing body is believed to want all parties to get together before the next squad gathering with a view to clearing any lingering issues and sorting this shit out. Kerr named her squad on Thursday for the first Euro 2021 qualifier against Cyprus on 30 August, with injured duo Lana Clelland and Christie Murray the only two members of the World Cup squad not involved. When asked about suggestions that some teams had considered whether they wanted to be part of her plans, Kerr said she would 'continue with the squad' that went to France. 'We'll address, we'll debrief,' she said. 'I've spoken to a lot of the players directly and indirectly and I've got a positive feeling about the Euros. That's what we need to focus on now.'

Used Goods

Andy Carroll says that his return to this blogger's beloved (though, tragically unsellable) Newcastle United eight years after he left was 'what dreams were made of.' The thirty-year-old, released by West Hamsters United this summer following a six-year spell blighted by numerous injuries, signed a one-year contract with The Magpies on transfer deadline day. 'I enjoyed the time I spent here, and hopefully I can carry on where I left off,' said Carroll, who made his Newcastle debut in 2006 as sixteen year old. Where he left off, incidentally, was being injured for the last few weeks of his time at The Magpies during January 2011, his last appearance actually having come in a three-one defeat at Sheikh Yer Man City on Boxing Day 2010. 'For me to get back to where I was, I think this is the only place for me.' And, just to repeat, where he was, was injured. Carroll scored thirty three goals during his five years on Tyneside and helped the club win promotion to the top flight in 2009-10. And, when he was fit he was bloody good let it be noted, even at that early stage of a career which promised so much. He told Sky Sports News: 'When I put the shirt back on it will probably be a better feeling that it was the first time. It's something I wanted for a long time and now it's here. Playing for your boyhood team and going away, you realise what you had and missed. Coming back it's something only dreams are made of."' The former England striker moved to Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws for a club-record thirty five million knicker in 2011, but scored only six goals in forty four league games at Anfield before he was loaned to The Hamsters for the 2012-13 season. Although he experienced knee and hamstring problems during that campaign, The Hamsters still took a punt and signed Carroll on a permanent deal for fifteen million quid in the summer of 2013. However his injury record at The Hamsters makes for sobering reading; ankle, foot, groin, pelvis, neck, knee, hamstring and thigh issues all severely restricting his pitch time. Of the two hundred and sixty four Premier League games The Hamsters played during the time Andy was at the club, he started just eighty four of them and managed another forty two appearances from the bench. Scoring thirty three times, his most recent competitive appearance came against Sheikh Yer Man City in February 2019. Having completed ninety minutes in just four Premier League matches over the past two seasons, the fear is the Carroll will not be fit enough regularly to make a significant impact at his boyhood club. Should he manage to make it off the treatment table and onto the pitch, Carroll will join Tommy Wright, Robbie Elliott, Lee Clark, Nolberto Solano and the late Pavel Srnicek in playing for United in the Premier League era during two separate spells. Newcastle manager Steve Brucie (nasty to see him to see him, nasty) said: 'To bring a local hero like Andy back to Newcastle United is fantastic. He is very excited to be home. He is a big, physical threat in the opposition box and another great option for us at the top end of the pitch. He gives us something different to what we already have and we'll do our best to get him flying again.' Reports that the biggest betting currently going on in the Newcastle area is on exactly how many minutes of Premier League action Carroll will see this season cannot at this time be confirmed or denied.

Carroll became Newcastle's fifth signing of the summer following the arrival of forward Joelinton, winger Allan Saint-Maximin, left-back Jetro Willems and right-back Emil Krafth. The latter signed earlier on Transfer Deadline Day from Ligue 1 side Amiens for a reported five million smackers on a four-year contract. The Sweden right-back only joined Amiens on a permanent deal earlier this summer after a season on loan. 'When a Premier League team wants to sign you, of course you are happy,' said the twenty five-year-old whose arrival potentially signals the end of their time at St James' Park for at least one and possibly two of the three right-backs already at the club, DeAndre Yedlin, Javier Manquillo and Jamie Sterry. 'I know Newcastle is a big club, so I'm very happy to sign here and to be here right now,' said Krafth. 'It's a good moment in my career to take a step forward. The plans Newcastle had for me, I felt like they were fitting me perfectly, so that was why I chose Newcastle.' Krafth made thirty five appearances in the French top flight while on loan at Amiens last season from Bologna. He has won twenty caps for Sweden thus far in his career and played at last year's World Cup in Russia.

A late flurry of deadline-day signings took Premier League spending for the summer up to 1.41 billion knicker, just short of the 1.43 billion notes record set in 2017, according to Deloitte. Deadline Day spending alone by English top-flight clubs was one hundred and seventy million smackers - but on just eighteen deals, the joint fewest number of transfers on the last day of the summer window since 2009. Everton's thirty four million quid signing of forward Alex Iwobi from The Arse was the biggest incoming Premier League deal, while the largest transfer saw Romelu Lukaku leave The Scum for Inter Milan for seventy four million knicker - a loss of a million quid on the fee they paid Everton. The Arse were the biggest spenders in England during the window, splashing out one hundred and fifty five million smackers. On Deadline Day, they spent twenty five million quid on Glasgow Celtic left-back Kieran Tierney and eight million wonga on Moscow Chelski FC centre-back David Luiz. Stottingtot Hotshots recruited Real Betis midfielder Giovani lo Celso on loan and signed Poor Bloody Fulham Haven't Got A Chance winger Ryan Sessegnon for twenty five million wonga. Their pursuit of Juventus forward Paulo Dybala was one of the big stories earlier in the day but any potential deal fell through. Watford spent a club record, reported to be twenty five million smackers, on Rennes winger Ismaila Sarr and Leicester City bought Sampdoria's attacking midfielder Dennis Praet for a reported eighteen million knicker. Three former England internationals made moves - Burnley signing Moscow Chelski FC midfielder Danny Drinkwater and Sheikh Yer Man City bringing in Derby goalkeeper Scott Carson, both on loan, in addition to this blogger's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle re-signed free agent striker Andy Carroll. A busy day in the Championship was headlined by West Bromwich Albinos spending four million notes on Southampton striker Charlie Austin. This was the second year in a row when Premier League clubs could only sign players until the day before the season started, instead of the end of August. The deadline has also now passed for Championship clubs, but teams from Scotland, Leagues One and Two and all of Europe's major leagues can bring in players until 2 September. The total number of Premier League signings in the summer fell for the sixth year in a row. Eleven of the twenty Premier League clubs broke their existing transfer record this summer, with Sheffield United smashing theirs four times. The Arse, Aston Villains, Leicester (twice), Sheikh Yer Man City, Newcastle, Southampton, Stottingtot Hotshots, Watford - on deadline day - West Hamsters United and Wolverhampton Wanderings are the other ten. Harry Maguire's eighty million knicker switch from Leicester to The Scum was the biggest Premier League signing of the summer, followed by The Arse's seventy two million quid purchase of Lille winger Nicolas Pepe. Champions Sheikh Yer Man City bought Atletico Madrid midfielder Rodri for sixty two million knicker and Juventus right-back Joao Cancelo for sixty million. Spurs spent over fifty three million quid on Lyon midfielder Tanguy Ndombele - their first first-team signing since January 2018. The Villains spent one hundred and twenty five million, the second promoted club to hit nine figures after Poor Bloody Fulham Haven't Got A Chance, who did so last summer, only to subsequently be relegated in April. The other biggest transfers were The Scum's right-back Aaron Wan-Bissaka (fifty million from Crystal Palace), West Hamsters United striker Sebastien Haller (forty five million from Eintracht Frankfurt), Newcastle striker Joelinton (forty million from Hoffenheim) and Leicester midfielder Youri Tielemans (forty million from Monaco). Moscow Chelski FC also spent forty million notes on Real Madrid midfielder Mateo Kovacic despite having a transfer embargo imposed upon them for various naughty shenanigans in relation to Financial Fair Play. The Croat was already at Torpedo Stamford Bridge on loan, so Frank Lampard's side were allowed to sign him permanently as he was already registered with them. Their sale of Eden Hazard to Real for a fee of eighty nine million smackers, which could rise to one hundred and fifty million with add-ons and other under-the-counter malarkey, was one of the biggest deals in the world. This was the second highest total spend since the introduction of the transfer window system in 2003, according to analysis from Deloitte's Sports Business Group. It is the fourth consecutive summer that Premier League clubs have spent over one billion notes. But Premier League clubs' net expenditure (purchases minus sales) was six hundred and twenty five million knicker - the lowest in a summer since 2015, helped by Hazard and Lukaku's big-money moves. Dan Jones, a partner in the Sports Business Group at Deloitte, said: 'With this level of net spend, combined with a more modest increase in Premier League broadcast rights values for the coming season than we have seen previously, we would expect wages to increase at a greater rate than revenue, returning to a wages to revenue ratio of over sixty per cent. However, this does not signal major financial concerns as Premier League clubs collectively generated pre-tax profits of four hundred and twenty six million pounds in 2017-18, while net spend as a proportion of revenue of twelve per cent is at its lowest since 2012.' La Liga clubs could still overtake the Premier League's total. Spain's top-flight clubs have spent 1.1 billion quid, with Real Madrid, Atletico Madrid and Barcelona accounting for two thirds of that alone. That number will increase with their deadline not until 2 September. Championship clubs spent one hundred and sixty million snots on transfers, an increase from the one hundred and fifty five spent last summer. Moscow Chelski FC (who, of course, have a transfer embargo), Crystal Palace and Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws were the only three clubs to make a profit on transfers this summer. Benfica (one hundred and seventy million quid) and Ajax (one hundred and sixty five million) were among the sides in Europe to make the most in player sales this summer. The deadline for La Liga, Serie A, the Bundesliga, Ligue 1 and other European leagues is on 2 September so their clubs can sign Premier League players until then. Real Madrid have been linked with The Scum's midfielder Paul Pogba all summer, but it seems unlikely The Scum would let the French international go now without being able to bring in a replacement. Stotingtot Hotshots playmaker Christian Eriksen is another who could leave the Premier League. The Danish international, who has one year left on his Spurs contract, is reported to be interested in a move abroad. But Spurs's failure to sign Dybala this summer may make a move for Eriksen less likely. Sheikh Yer Man City winger Leroy Sane is a long-term Fußball-Club Bayern München target but the cruciate ligament damage suffered in Sunday's Community Shield could see Sane stay at Etihad Stadium. Real Madrid's sulky Gareth Bale was never credibly linked to a move to any English clubs before the deadline. He has got three-and-a-half weeks to find a European club to take him off Real's hands or else face a season playing for their reserves, with the Welshman seemingly not in coach Zinedine Zidane's plans. Paris St-Germain forward Neymar continues to be linked with a move to Real Madrid or former to his club Barcelona, while Real attacking midfielder James Rodriguez - like Bale - may have to move away for first-team football. The Premier League deadline closing could spark a flurry of signings elsewhere. Some managers in Leagues One and Two have been waiting for this stage, with Premier League and Championship clubs now more likely to know who they will be willing to sell or to offer on loan.

Liverpool Alabam Yee-Haws scored four first-half goals as they started the new Premier League season with a blistering performance to demolish newly-promoted Norwich City at Anfield on Friday evening. Norwich captain Grant Hanley scored the opening goal of the top-flight season when he sliced Divock Origi's cross into his own net before Mohamed Salah opened his account after a pass by Roberto Firmino. German midfielder Marco Stipermann forced a fine save by Reds keeper Alisson before an unmarked Virgil van Dijk headed the third from Salah's corner, Origi added the fourth after a stunning pass by Trent Alexander-Arnold. Teemu Pukki's composed finish reduced the deficit after Liverpool lost Alisson to injury, the Brazilian keeper replaced by new signing Adrian after slipping while taking a first-half goal-kick.

Raheem Sterling scored a hat-trick as Sheikh Yer Man City got their title defence off to a winning start with five-nil victory at West Hamsters United in a game which saw the video assistant referee play a significant role for the first time in the Premier League. Harry Kane twice struck late as Stottingtot Hotshots overcame Aston Villa three-one. Spurs, who finished fourth last season, fell behind to a ninth-minute John McGinn goal before they equalised courtesy of a brilliant strike from their club-record signing Tanguy Ndombele. Kane fired two goals in the final four minutes. The highlight of the game, however, came when thirty five million quid midfield flop Moussa Sisoko had a shot for Spurs. And, it went out for a throw-in! Sheffield United, who were playing in League One as recently as 2017, marked their return to the Premier League after a twelve-year absence with a spirited draw at Bournemouth, Billy Sharp scoring an eighty eighth-minute equaliser for The Blades to cancel out Chris Mepham's first goal for The Cherries. Everton Toffeemen were held to a goalless draw at Crystal Palace. Everton's Morgan Schneiderlin was sent off, while Wilfried Zaha started on Palace's bench after missing out on a move before the summer transfer deadline and sulking about it like a big girl. Brighton & Hove Albinos got off to a flying start under new boss Graham Potter. They won three-nil at last season's FA Cup runners-up Watford - an own goal by Abdoulaye Doucoure, plus strikes by Florin Andone and new signing Neal Maupay sealing the points for The Seagulls. Burnley also won three-nil at home to Southampton, Ashley Barnes with two goals and Johann Berg Gudmundsson the other. Leicester and Wolverhampton Wanderings shared a goalless draw in one of Sunday's early kick-offs. And, The Scum gave Moscow Chelski FC a damned good four-nil hiding in Frank Lampard's first game in charge of The Blues.

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang punished somewhat expected slack defending by this blogger's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies to give The Arse victory at a rain-drenched, gloomy and rather deflated St James' Park on Sunday. Starting with many of their one hundred and twenty five million knicker's worth of signings on the bench and without midfielders Mesut Özil and Sead Kolašinac (see below), The Arse's boss Unai Emery watched his side struggle to cut through their opponents in the first half. That all changed just before the hour mark when Gabon international Aubameyang collected Ainsley Maitland-Niles' cross from the right and fired past Martin Dubravka after Newcastle had, needlessly, surrendered possession in midfield. As for Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty), his Newcastle managerial debut pretty much went to the expectations of many in Newcastle's thoroughly cheesed-off fanbase. Workmanlike, one-paced, pedestrian and lacking in much flair or imagination. Not bad, just dull. The managerial career of Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) in a nutshell. Still, bright-side, at this stage in the season, The Magpies are currently only one win off a Champions League place. Laugh, dear blog reader? Laugh? This blogger nearly did. The Magpies' record signing Joelinton Apolinário de Lira went close with a shot blocked by Bernd Leno, before Jonjo Shelvey saw his drive crash off the woodwork. The home side were flat for much of the second half, although another new recruit, Allan Saint-Maximin, tested German Leno with a near-post drive. But, he also tripped over his own feet a couple of times. Miguel Almirón was mostly anonymous after a bright opening twenty minutes. And whilst The Magpies never looked in too much trouble before they committed defensive suicide, following The Arse's goal, they never remotely looked like threatening an equaliser and ended the game with most of the team looking worryingly weary and heavy-legged. Looks like another season-long relegation battle, dear blog reader. Newcastle United claimed that forty seven thousand six hundred and thirty five tickets were sold for the opening game, but inside St James' Park, the number of empty seats was clearly visible and it looked more than around four thousand. The attendances for United's opening fixture of last season, against Stottingtot Hotshots, was fifty one thousand seven hundred and forty nine. The year before that - also against Spurs - opening day saw a capacity crowd of fifty two thousand and seventy seven.

Two men have been charged with a public order offence connected to a Premier League footballer, police have said. Ferhat Ercan and Salaman Ekinci were very arrested on Thursday outside the North London home of The Arse star Mesut Özil. Özil and Sead Kolašinac were not in The Arse's squad for Sunday's Premier League opener at this blogger's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle due to 'further security incidents.' Both players were targeted by carjackers in North London last month, an incident which attracted widespread publicity at the time. According to reports, the men were arrested after 'becoming involved in an altercation' with security staff outside Özil's home. 'Two men have been charged under Section 4A of the Public Order Act following an incident in Camden on Thursday 8 August,' the Met said. Ercan and Ekinci are due to appear up a'fore The Beat at Highbury Corner Magistrates' Court on 6 September. Police said they were treating the public order offence and the attempted car-jacking as separate incidents. Midfielder Özil and defender Kolašinac were left out of a friendly against Lyon following the attempted car-jacking in Golders Green in July. After the attack, Kolašinac posted a picture of himself and Ozil on social media and added: 'Think we're fine.' The Arse said on Friday the players had been left out of Sunday's squad following 'further security incidents which are being investigated by the police. The welfare of our players and their families is always a top priority and we have taken this decision following discussion with the players and their representatives,' the club said.

Dirty Stoke have released twelve million knicker alleged striker Saido Berahino. The Burundi international Berahino joined the Championship side from West Bromwich Albions in January 2017. The twenty six-year-old scored just five goals in fifty six appearances and last played for Dirty Stoke in February. He was extremely convicted of drinking and driving in May and was fined seventy five thousand smackers and banned from driving for thirty months at Highbury Corner Magistrates' Court. In a one-line statement The Potters said: 'Stoke City can confirm that Saido Berahino has today left the club by mutual agreement.' The former England Under-Twenty One international had three years left on his five-and-a-half-year deal. He was almost three times over the alcohol limit when his Range Rover was stopped in London's West End in February. Berahino was arrested minutes after being robbed and while the court heard there was 'no dispute' that the robbery had taken place, magistrates found he 'was not in fear of death or fear of serious injury.' It was also heard that Berahino had previous convictions of drinking and driving in 2015 and being drunk in charge of a vehicle in 2012.

Huddersfield Town have been charged by the Football Association with breaking kit and advertising rules. It comes after a controversial shirt was worn in pre-season as part of a sponsorship deal with Paddy Power. The bookmaker's name was displayed in a sash across the club's shirt in a pre-season friendly at Rochdale, which the FA say was in breach of regulations. The club is accused of breaking the rules surrounding the size of slogan allowed on a player's shirt. The shirt was a spoof, with the deal actually seeing the club remove their sponsor's name from the front of their kit as part of a campaign by the Irish bookmaker. 'When we announced the kit, we knew the design would cause quite a negative stir and that was part of the campaign,' Huddersfield's commercial director Sean Jarvis told BBC Radio Leeds after the club's real kit was unveiled last month. The FA asked The Terriers for the their 'observations' about the shirts, which have since been auctioned and raised more than thirty grand for charity. Paddy Power have agreed similar deals to 'unsponsor' the shirts of Newport County, Motherwell, Macclesfield Town and Southend United.

Bury are reported to be 'confident' of remaining in the Football League despite being threatened with expulsion over their ongoing financial problems. The League One club have been given until 23 August to show the EFL their plan to pay off outstanding creditors. Bury's first three games have all been suspended because they have so far not provided 'the clarity required.' 'If we stand united we can get through this difficult spell for our historic club,' Bury said in a statement. 'In the last six months, we have come a long way together. Once we have supplied the EFL with the recently requested additional information, we are confident that our embargo will be lifted. In anticipation of this, we would expect that the EFL will not remove us from the Football League. A lot of people are working very hard to get this over the line. As a club, we would like to thank the players who are currently training at Carrington with a view to signing for our brilliant football club. Thank you for standing by us, even though the situation we find ourselves in is very difficult. There is a lot of uncertainty in the Football League with other clubs outside Bury. Everyone at the club wishes them all the best with their own circumstances.' The EFL have said they would 'continue to work constructively with the club' to obtain the details required to avoid calling off further fixtures. The Shakers have already been given a twelve-point deduction for the season after entering into a company voluntary arrangement, which is classed as an insolvency event by the EFL - to try to clear some of their debts. Bury, who won promotion from League Two last season, had a winding-up petition against them dismissed by the High Court on 31 July.

The Football League has grovellingly apologised to a Hull City fan who claimed he was asked to stop texting or face ejection from a game. Daniel Mawer tweeted a lengthy thread after Hull's win against Reading on Saturday after an alleged 'undercover security guard' approached him at half-time. He was, he claimed, 'spoken to' as part of 'spot checks into unauthorised data gathering at EFL matches.' Mawer told BBC Sport that he was 'shocked' (and stunned) by the initial approach. Hull City are now liaising with both Mawer, the club's own security company Superstadium Management and Comsec, a company hired by Football Data Co to monitor the collection and distribution of official match data. 'The Comsec scout spotting programme is managed by Football Data Co in collaboration with the league and its clubs,' said an EFL spokesman. 'Access is provided at matches for Comsec representatives to operate and identify potential infringements. On initial review of this particular incident all procedures and protocols were followed, but clearly there is still some work to be done to ensure these checks are conducted appropriately and sensitively. It's never the intention to offend and for that Football Data Co and the League offer its apologies to the supporter affected by this random spot check.' In a statement, Hull City also said that they would investigate 'how the check was handled' and how the scout spotting programme 'could be improved' at the KCOM Stadium. Unauthorised data gathering - or 'courtsiding' as it is known in other sports - is the practice of transmitting information from sporting events for the purpose of gambling or of placing bets directly from a sporting event. Daniel's experience was widely shared on social media, including by Match Of The Day Presenter Gary Lineker on Saturday, who tweeted: 'This is nuts.' Oh, do Walker's do nuts? Yes, apparently, they do. 'I've had quite a lot of messages of support since it happened,' said the Hull season ticket holder. 'I feel it's something that needed highlighting as I wasn't sure how widespread these checks are. I was just texting a few friends and relatives who can't make it to games these days, just the odd update on how the game was going. I was mainly telling my girlfriend what I thought of Hull forward Tom Eaves' haircut.' The Football Supporters' Association were among those to tweet support to Daniel. 'It's not that people are being asked at grounds about potential suspicious activity; it's how they're being approached that concerns us,' director of case work Amanda Jacks told BBC Sport. 'It's also a bit disappointing Hull's response doesn't included the word "alleged" when speaking about Daniel's experience. We understand people have a job to do and some people unfortunately do go to games with the intention of manipulating betting markets. But we believe this is a very small minority of the hundreds of thousands who attend matches across the country every weekend.'

Brazil's Gabriel Jesus has received a two-month international ban for his naughty behaviour after he was sent off during the Copa America final last month. The Sheikh Yer Man City forward, who scored in the three-one win over Peru, remonstrated with referee Roberto Tobar, kicked a water bottle and then pushed the VAR monitor as he left the pitch in a geet stroppy childish huff. Jesus, also fined thirty thousand dollars, has seven days to appeal. The striker is set to miss September's friendlies against Colombia and Peru. A statement from governing body CONMEBOL said: 'Gabriel Jesus is suspended for two months from the day following the notification of this decision. Consequently, the player is suspended to play official and friendly matches with his national team in that period of time.'

Fußball-Club Bayern München warmed-up for the start of the Bundesliga season with a twenty three-nil win over amateur side FC Rottach-Egern. The German champions averaged a goal just under every four minutes as Corentin Tolisso scored four and Robert Lewandowski hit a hat-trick. Lucas Hernandez made his first appearance since his club record eighty million Euros move from Atletico Madrid. Bayern get their league campaign under way against Hertha Berlin on Friday 16 August. Before that, Bayern begin their defence of the German Cup on Monday when they travel to FC Energie Cottbus. While Borussia Dortmund beat the five-time European champions to win the German Supercup in the annual Bundesliga curtain-raiser, this was a much more comfortable outing for Bayern. Otschi Wriedt also grabbed a hat-trick while Thomas Müller and New Zealand international Sarpreet Singh both scored twice. Coach Niko Kovac made ten changes at half-time against opponents they defeated twenty-two in 2018.

An investigation into the identity of a Gambian player at Hamburg has been started by German football's governing body. It follows a complaint from Nuremburg about the true name and age of midfielder Bakery Jatta, who played against them in a four-nil defeat on Monday. His club's records say Jatta is twenty one, but there are claims in the German media he is older and called Bakery Daffeh. Hamburg, who play in Germany's second tier, 'stand completely behind' Jatta. The DFB, Germany's football association, said it has 'already written to' Hamburg and 'asked for an opinion on the allegations. The panel will then have the appeal in due course,' it added. Hamburg head of sport Jonas Boldt has said he is 'amazed' by the complaint and expects 'an unambiguous response' about Jatta's eligibility. Records say that Jatta has been at Hamburg since 2016 and was born in June 1998, with no evidence of a club prior to that. On the other hand, there is evidence that a Bakery Daffeh played for Brikama United in The Gambia, as well as Casa Sport in Senegal. Daffeh also scored for The Gambia under-twenty team in a one-nil win over Liberia in 2014. A report in German newspaper Bild states: 'Nach einem Hinweis recherchierte SPORT BILD in den vergangenen Wochen über die Vergangenheit Jattas. Und die Indizien häuften sich massiv, dass Bakery Jatta in Wahrheit Bakary Daffeh heißt und nicht am 6 Juni 1998, sondern am 6 November 1995 geboren ist. Er wäre also rund zweieinhalb Jahre älter - und damit bei der Einreise nach Deutschland schon volljährig gewesen, was das Verfahren einer Aufenthaltsgenehmigung erschwert hätte. Alleinreisende minderjährige Flüchtlinge erhalten in der Regel eine Duldung und dürfen im.' Unfortunately, they didn't say it in English. Bild claims that any trace of Daffeh ends in August 2015, at precisely the same time as 'Jatta' turned up in Germany. Boldt said: 'We expect in return an unambiguous response from the DFB and DFL about Bakery Jatta's eligibility as soon as possible, so that appearances in cup and league matches are still possible. Ultimately, our player has had a valid passport and has been eligible to play for us for the past three years. For us, it isn't acceptable that this eligibility to play is brought into question by assumptions and conjecture. We stand completely behind Bakery and will carry on to completely include him in training and our matchday squads, as he is a valuable player for us and an integrated, valued member of our team. I personally find it unbelievable and distressing that our player is attacked from all sides in public, purely because of presumptions and suspicion. Baka has once again proved the correctness of his passport and right to work in this country to us.'

Football fans caught feeding seagulls have been warned they will be removed from a Scottish Championship stadium. Dumfries side Queen of the South issued the message before their first home league game at Palmerston Park. It comes after complaints about the 'mess and nuisance' caused by birds at the ground at a cup clash with Motherwell last month. Now the club has appealed to fans to help tackle the issue by putting any waste food in bins provided. The Doonhamers have said they face a 'pretty much impossible task' in dealing with the problem having tried 'various things' to tackle it. Their efforts have included playing 'bird of prey noises' over the sound system and flying red kites, a widespread bird of prey in Dumfries and Galloway, above their ground. However, the gulls have continued to cause problems, with staff forced to stay out on the pitch late at night to try to stop them roosting on the playing surface. Supporters have been asked to play their part in dealing with the issue. 'If you are seen to be deliberately feeding the seagulls you will be removed from the ground,' the club warned on its Facebook page. 'In order to minimise the impact of the seagulls on everyone's enjoyment of the game, please do not feed them and please use the bins provided for all waste food. Please consider your fellow supporters.'

A 'loophole' in the regulations protecting children from being targeted by betting firms has alleged been exploited by Wayne Rooney wearing the number thirty two when he joins Derby County, according to a gambling industry expert. If not anyone you've actually heard of. The Rams have secured 'a record-breaking sponsorship' deal with their shirt sponsor, online casino 32Red, 'off the back of' the former England captain joining the Championship side. Rooney's squad number at Pride Park will be thirty two when he joins Derby in January, but the company denies it has anything to do with their sponsorship arrangement. One or two people even believed them. Although 32Red will not appear on any replica children's shirts, as prohibited by regulations, they can have Rooney's name and number thirty two printed on the back of their kit. The betting company said their agreement 'complies with FA regulations.' However, Professor Jim Orford - a psychologist from Birmingham University who 'studies gambling', nice work if you can get it - said: 'It's obvious what it is there for, isn't it? It won't say 32Red, it will just be thirty two, but it clearly is meant to be a link to 32Red and people will start to associate the number thirty two with gambling and gambling on 32Red. It is a loophole in the law. A lot of children won't understand it to start with but advertising is like that. A lot of people will understand it, while for others it will just be in the back of their minds and be subliminal. They are trying to just slip it in and get around that very sensible aspect of the regulations.' A spokesperson for 32Red said that it 'wouldn't matter what number' Rooney plays in at Derby. 'As Wayne Rooney said himself during his press conference, the squad number means nothing. The number is a separate issue to the logo,' the 32Red spokesperson added. Again, one or two people even believed them. 'The number is not important. Other players also wear the number in the Championship - 32Red don't have a trademark on the number thirty two.' The betting firm also rejected the notion that they have taken advantage of an alleged loophole. 'Responsible gambling is at the heart of our business,' the spokesperson said. 'We will next week talk further details about the deal that will have a wider impact on the Derby community, with Wayne Rooney involved in community initiatives. Our additional investment will also include responsible gambling initiatives.' The Football Association declined to comment as Rooney is yet to come under their jurisdiction because England and The Scum's all-time leading scorer does not move back to the English game from Major League Soccer side DC United until January. Orford, who runs Gamble Watch UK - an 'independent organisation' that 'questions gambling policy in Britain' - said that the FA and Gambling Commission should both look at the arrangement and whether the number on the shirt is a breach of regulations. 'One of the basic principles of the Gambling Commission is that they protect children and young people,' he said. 'It should be making a fuss about this, to the FA in particular.' Yes, but they're not going to because, as previously noted on this blog, the Football Association seem to have no problem whatsoever with paying lip-service to gambling awareness whilst, simultaneously, having their second, third and fourth tier league competitions sponsored by SkyBet. Conflict of interest, you say? This blogger couldn't possibly comment. In a statement, the Gambling Commission said 'sponsorship arrangements must be undertaken in a socially responsible manner,' with its rules adding that deals should not 'be likely to be of particular appeal to under-eighteens' or 'associated with youth culture.' Doctor Alan Smith, the bishop of St Albans and the church's gambling spokesman, told BBC 5Live that he 'hopes' Rooney adds gambling awareness work to his charitable causes. Though, what the Hell any of this had to do with the church is another matter entirely.

Season Of Mist

Newcastle United have signed French winger Allan Saint-Maximin from Nice for a reported sixteen-and-a-half million knicker. Saint-Maximin, a France Under-Twenty One international, has signed a six-year deal at St James' Park. 'He has all the attributes you would want in an attacking player,' Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) said. Earlier on Friday Newcastle announced the signing of Netherlands defender Jetro Willems on a season-long loan from Eintracht Frankfurt with a subsequent option to buy. The twenty five-year-old left-back - who has twenty two international caps - made thirty six appearances in the Bundesliga last term.

This blogger's beloved (though, tragically unsellable) Newcastle concluded their pre-season programme on Saturday with a two-one victory over French opposition St Etienne which was somewhat more emphatic than the final scoreline suggests. New signing Joelinton and teenager Matty Longstaff netted for The Magpies before Les Verts pulled one back after a rare foray upfield, Gallowgate old boy Mathieu Debuchy being on target. However that margin of victory could have - and should have - been far greater; Miguel Almiron's first goal for Th' Toon continues to elude him despite several chances, he and Jonjo Shelvey rattling the woodwork and last-ditch interventions denying Isaac Hayden and Yoshinori Muto among others. St James' Park was bathed in sunshine for the first home game in charge of The Magpies for Stevie Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty), but his entrance was low key and without any fanfare. Clad in their new orange change kit, the game began with United's latest signings Allan Saint-Maximin and Jetro Willems on a subs bench which also included Christian Atsu for the first time in pre-season. However Matt Ritchie was omitted after limping off at Hibernian in midweek and pre-season ended with no pitch time at all for the injured trio of Dwight Gayle, Lejeune Florian or DeAndre Yedlin. Martin Dubravka returned in goal but had virtually nothing to do in the first half. At first it seemed that the visitors who finished fourth in Ligue 1 last season might dominate but St Étienne created little against Newcastle's three-five-two formation. Having scored his first goal for the club at Easter Road, Joelinton came close to another on twenty minutes after Fabian Schär 's long-range effort was blocked and fell to him, only for his shot to be scrambled away for a corner. Hayden then rounded the visiting keeper, only for his goalbound effort from a narrow angle to be headed clear by Wesley Fofana. Record signing Joelinton wasn't to be denied however and scampered forward to reach Schär's excellent through-ball before forcing it beyond the advancing keeper and into the Leazes End goal on thirty nine minutes. Shelvey then came close to a second when his powerful free kick bounced down off the crossbar and on the goal line before being cleared to safety. Almiron was causing problems with his pace but his end product remained wayward and he was denied once again two minutes into the second half, taking Shelvey's through-ball but failing to beat the keeper. The Paraguayan then had another effort blocked soon after before bursting into the box again in the fifty seventh minute and unleashing a shot that grazed the crossbar. Almiron and Joelinton then made way as new pair Willems and Saint-Maximin arrived, along with Muto - who quickly had the ball in the net, only to be denied by an offside flag. Willems and Saint-Maximin then combined for the latter to see his shot well saved, before the moment of the afternoon arrived for the sixteen thousand crowd. Matty Longstaff had been on the field just a matter of seconds when he took a pass from his older brother, Sean, on the edge of the St Etienne area before hitting a screamer which flew into the roof of the net. Further goals seemed likely but after Muto was denied from close range by an instinctive block, it was the Ligue 1 side that broke their duck; Debuchy was allowed to head in a corner as the defence lost concentration with five minutes remaining. The game ended with Saint-Maximin limping off in the company of a physio after coming a cropper while twisting and turning in the box. The afternoon was punctuated on the hour by loud anti-Mike Ashley chanting from a sparsely-populated Strawberry Corner, followed by a couple of lacklustre choruses of 'Stevie Bruce's black and white army.'

Meanwhile, following the Daily Scum Mail's suspiciously-timed 'exclusive' Mike Ashley interview with regular Ashley-apologist Martin Samuel in which some - frankly, Stalinist-style - rewriting of history was done at Rafa Benitez's expense it was interesting, this week, to see comments coming from the two most high-profile departures from Tyneside this summer. Speaking to his own website, Rafa The (Former) Gaffer talked about the 'good times' he had in Newcastle and of 'the ongoing kindness and positivity' he received (and, continues to receive) from the fans. 'They appreciated the commitment we had when choosing to stay at Newcastle and the efforts we made to continue being there, but unfortunately, as they say in England, "a leopard can't change its spots." A lot of things kept us attached to the club, to the city and to its fans, but a lack of project as well as unfulfilled promises meant we had to look forwards and follow a different path, as others such as Alan Shearer and Kevin Keegan have done whilst continuing to be supported and to support the team. There is nothing wrong with thinking about the past, but it's also important to look to the future. For this reason, all I have left to say is that I truly wish the team and Steve Bruce the best for the following season.' Classy, in a way that Ashley can only dream of appearing. And, jolly clever use of two other Newcastle icons who were, similarly, used and abused by That Awful Ashley Individual in previous years. He's a smart man, is Rafa and if Ashley thinks for a second that he has any chance of winning a public relations war against Benitez, he's a bigger fool than most Newcastle fans had previously suspected. Later that same day in an interview with The Athletic, Ayoze Pérez made the following observation: 'Things could be done better over there at Newcastle, but Leicester have given me the opportunity to do great things hopefully. There is big ambition. I think how football works, the way you have to look at football, that is the difference between Leicester and Newcastle. There is big motivation here to keep growing and to get better here at Leicester. I didn't feel they had it at Newcastle.' It was interesting to note when these comments were reprinted in the Evening Chronicle, some spawny-eyed parrot-faced wazzocks wittering on about how Ayoze had swapped Newcastle for 'a smaller club.' Leicester City, of course, won the Premier League in 2016. That's a full ninety years after the last time Newcastle achieved the same feat. Of course, there are many things which make a club 'big'; support through the turnstiles, turnover, how many replica shirts you sell in Malaysia alongside simply counting what's been in the trophy cabinet recently and only a foolish fool would attempt to claim that, under most criteria, Newcastle are not a 'big' club (they are reported to be among the twenty richest clubs in Europe, for example). But, then again, Blunderland are also a 'big' club and, look where they are at the moment. Bottom line, it would be nice if The Magpies could manage to turn that impressive support and all of those sales of replica shirts into, you know, a League Cup win, or something. Not that this is at all likely under the current regime, obviously.

Stephanie Frappart will become the first woman to referee a major men's European match when she takes charge of the UEFA Super Cup final between Liverpool and Chelsea on 14 August. Frappart will lead a team that also includes two female assistant referees when the Champions League winners face the Europa League holders in Istanbul. The thirty five-year-old Frenchwoman refereed July's Women's World Cup final in Lyon. UEFA president Aleksander Ceferin said he was 'delighted' by her appointment. 'I have said on many occasions that the potential for women's football has no limits,' he added. 'As an organisation, we place the utmost importance on the development of women's football in all areas. I hope the skill and devotion that Stephanie has shown throughout her career to reach this level will provide inspiration to millions of girls and women around Europe, and show them there should be no barriers in order to reach one's dream.' The assistant referees will be Frappart's compatriot Manuela Nicolosi and Michelle O'Neill of the Republic of Ireland. Leading male referee Cuneyt Cakir, who took charge of the 2015 Champions League final, will be the fourth official. Frappart became the first female referee to take charge of a Ligue 1 match in April and is in the pool of officials for the top flight of men's football in France for the 2019-20 season. In 2014, she was also the first woman to referee a Ligue 2 fixture. 'Stephanie has proved over a number of years that she is one of the best female referees, not just in Europe but across the world,' said UEFA chief refereeing officer Roberto Rosetti. 'She has the ability to officiate on the biggest stage, as she proved at this year's Women's World Cup final.' Swiss former female referee Nicole Petignat took charge of three UEFA Cup qualifying round matches between 2004 and 2009.

Promotion favourites Poor Bloody Fulham Haven't Got A Chance suffered a blast of Championship reality with a shock opening-weekend loss at Barnsley. Former Derby midfielder Luke Thomas struck a debut goal for the hosts to stun Scott Parker's Fulham, back in the Championship after a solitary Premier League campaign. Fulham have retained the bulk of the squad that could not fend off top-flight relegation last term, but failed to gel on a frustrating afternoon at Oakwell. Cardiff also suffered a bloody nose on their return to the second tier, as Wigan Not very Athletic pulled off a fine three-two win at the DW Stadium. Michael Jacobs and Josh Windass both scored in four second-half minutes to put Wigan ahead, after Joe Ralls had handed Cardiff the early lead. Omar Bogle levelled for Cardiff as Neil Warnock's Bluebirds rallied again. But just when the visitors started to think about chasing a winner, up popped Wales midfielder Lee Evans with a fine long-range effort to seal Wigan's victory. Kadeem Harris fired a debut goal as ten-man Sheffield Wednesday claimed a three-one win at Reading. After Harris had opened the scoring, Yakou Meite headed Reading level after the break. But just two minutes later Sam Hutchinson headed in Barry Bannan's cross to put Wednesday back in front. Goalkeeper Keiren Westwood was sent off with ten minutes to play, but Wednesday not only managed to hold out - replacement forward Lucas Joao fired in a third for the visitors. Promoted Charlton sealed a battling two-one win at Blackburn Vindaloos, with defender Ben Purrington and striker Lyle Taylor on target. Purrington grabbed the equaliser at Wembley en route to Charlton's thigh-slappingly hilarious League One play-off win over Blunderland in May and was back on the scoresheet at the start of the new campaign. Taylor's close-range strike spared Dillon Phillips' blushes, after the Charlton goalkeeper had put through his own net to gift Blackburn an equaliser. Two goals in as many minutes turned the tide for Swansea to secure a two-one home win over Hull. Kamil Grosicki had the visitors ahead after just three minutes, a lead they held until the break. But after the interval Swansea took control, with Spanish striker Borja Baston equalising from close range and then Mike van der Hoorn nodding in Nathan Dyer's cross for the winner. Kristian Pedersen headed home the only goal as Birmingham beat Brentford, with full-back Steve Seddon laying on the crucial cross. Jed Wallace fired Millwall to a home win over Preston, with summer recruit Connor Mahoney teeing up the winner. Jordan Hugill and Eberechi Eze both found the net as Queens Park Strangers saw off Dirty Stoke two-one at the Bet365 Stadium. Sam Clucas clawed one back late on for Stoke, but the hosts could not conjure an equaliser. Nottingham Forest lost two-one to West Bromwich Albinos in the evening kick-off. The Championship kicked-off on Friday evening with a thrilling three-three draw between newly-promoted Luton Town and Middlesbrough Smog Monsters. James Collins scored a late equaliser to deny Jonathan Woodgate a winning start as Boro boss. Boro were made to pay for Britt Assombalonga's missed penalty while they were leading three-two, as Collins struck from ten yards with five minutes left to secure a draw. Four goals were shared in the opening thirty seven minutes of an entertaining contest at Kenilworth Road.

Blunderland were held by Oxford as they started their second quest to escape from the mire of League One. Tariqe Fosu scored on his Oxford debut after his summer move from Charlton Not very Athletic to give the visitors a surprise lead. Lynden Gooch levelled from the spot four minutes after the break for The Mackem Filth after he was fouled by Josh Ruffels. But Jack Ross' side, who lost to Charlton in the play-off final in May, extremely failed to find a winner. Portsmouth slipped to a surprise defeat to Shrewsbury at the New Meadow. John Giles' stunning strike condemned Pompey to an opening-day loss and their disappointing afternoon was compounded when Ross McCrorie was sent off with nine minutes left. Stricken Notlob Wanderings, who start the season with minus twelve points, lost two-nil at Wycombe. Paul Smyth struck just after the break and Fred Onyedinma added a late second for The Chairboys. The Trotters went to Adams Park only after the EFL gave the game the go-ahead following Bolton providing financial assurances. Phil Parkinson's side travelled to the game with only three contracted senior outfield players and eight of the squad made their debuts. Bury's game with MK Dons had already been suspended after Bury failed to convince the league of their own financial viability. Ipswich Town, relegated from the Championship last season, began life in the third tier for the first time since 1957 with a one-nil win at Burton Albinos. Luke Garbutt scored an early winner while Stephen Quinn was dismissed late on for the hosts. Ian Henderson's double - one from the penalty spot - and Rhys Norrington-Davies' second-half strike earned Rochdale a three-two win at promoted Tranmere. Sid Nelson conceded an early penalty for Henderson to score and he added a second after the break before Norrington-Davies got in on the act. Dale needed to survive a late Rovers rally though after Stephen Dooley's own goal and Connor Jennings' injury-time goal before Rushian Hepburn-Murphy was sent off to end the hosts' hopes. Darren Moore's Doncaster reign started with a draw with Gillingham as he needed Kieran Sadlier to rescue a point after Alex Jakubiak put the visitors ahead. Freddie Ladapo scored a debut goal and Clark Robertson struck a late winner for Rotherham in their two-one win at AFC Wimbledon. Loanee Robertson fired in with six minutes left to cancel out Joe Piggott's leveller for The Dons. Jay Spearing's penalty and Armand Gnanduillet's goal gave Blackpool the perfect start to the season in their two-nil win over Bristol Rovers. Joey Barton's Fleetwood also secured an impressive three-one win at Peterborough. Harry Souttar and Josh Morris put The Cod Army two ahead; Ivan Toney pulled one back for the hosts but Danny Andrew's free-kick banked the points for Fleetwood. Elsewhere, Zain Westbrooke's second-half winner gave Coventry victory over Southend.

Salford beat Stevenage two-nil in their first-ever Football League match. Emmanuel Dieseruvwe's historic double gave his side a winning start in League Two in Saturday's lunchtime kick-off. Mansfield came back from a two-goal deficit at half-time to secure a draw with Newport despite finishing the game with ten men after Jacob Mellis' red card. Joss Labadie put Newport ahead, before Padraig Amond scored from the spot to double his side's lead but Mansfield struck back in the second half with goals from Krystian Pearce and Danny Rose. A Callum McFadzean double inspired Plymouth to a three-nil win at Crewe Alexandra. First-half goals from McFadzean and Joel Grant gave Plymouth a solid base before the former added a third in stoppage time to seal the victory. Swindon began their league campaign with a two-nil win at Scunthorpe. Jerry Yates fired The Robins ahead before Keshi Anderson's seventieth-minute goal ensured the win for Swindon. Leyton Orient marked their return to the Football League with a victory against Cheltenham. The club's late manager Justin Edinburgh's last signing Josh Wright scored the only goal of the emotional game, which saw Cheltenham's Luke Varney and Rohan Ince sent off within the space of two minutes in the second half. Grimsby Town scored two second-half goals in a win at Morecambe And Wise. A close-range finish from Elliott Whitehouse and an added-time effort from Max Wright was enough to give The Mariners the points. Carlisle held on to record a two-one win over ten-man Crawley. Harry McKirdy put Carlisle ahead in the sixth minute and though Beryly Lubala equalised, Stefan Scougall restored the lead for Carlisle before Lewis Young was dismissed for Crawley in injury time. Colchester secured a point in a one-all draw with Port Vale. Vale have not lost on the first day of a season since 2004 and took the lead in the fifth minute through Tom Pope's penalty before Luke Norris equalised for Colchester. Walsall got off to a winning start under new manager Darrell Clarke, with James Clarke scoring in his side's win over Northampton. Forest Green also got off to a winning start, with substitute Taylor Allen firing in the only goal of the game to give his side a victory over Oldham Not Very Athletic. Ryan Bowman secured all three points for Exeter with an eighty eighth-minute strike as they ground out a win over Macclesfield. Relegated Bradford were held to a goalless draw by ten-man Cambridge after Liam O'Neil's dismissal.

A giant pie has been revealed as Wigan Not Very Athletic's new mascot for the upcoming season. More than ninety primary schools were invited to submit ideas - with over half of the entries opting for a pie. Crusty The Pie was chosen as the winner of the competition, after the Championship club decided against using a mascot last season. It made its debut at The Latics' season opener against Cardiff City. Local children Cayden, eight and Neve, nine, designed and presented the mascot and walked out alongside Crusty on Saturday. 'We designed Crusty like this because everyone in Wigan loves pies,' the schoolchildren said. 'It took us about thirty minutes or an hour to design - it took a long time to choose the exact colours.' Wigan Not very Athletic's Head of Business Development and Customer Experience, Jonty Castle, added: 'It should put a smile on people's faces. It is a bit of light-hearted fun and a great opportunity for the children involved.'

Notts County endured a miserable start to life in the National League as they had two men sent off in a narrow defeat at Eastleigh. Relegated County, who made six signings on Thursday after a takeover of the club was finally completed, were handed an early reality check to life in the National League when Reda Johnson headed Eastleigh in front after getting on the end of Jack Payne's corner. The (other) Magpies were reduced to ten men when Michael Doyle was sent off. Debutant Damien McCrory followed Doyle down the tunnel in stoppage-time. Magpies manager Neal Ardley said he would not make excuses following the defeat, but added that County need to add to their squad. Quickly.

A Europa League qualifying match was suspended for more than thirty minutes after a Northern Irish referee was hit by an object thrown from the crowd. Hungarian side Honved said the 'scandalous' scenes during the match against Romanian outfit Universitatea Craiova should have seen it called off. A mass brawl broke out between players in the last minute of extra time and a smoke bomb was thrown from the stands. Referee Arnold Hunter was struck by an object and needed treatment. An ambulance arrived on the pitch and the match did not restart for more than half-an-hour. The fourth official then took charge and when the game resumed Craiova won three-one on penalties to reach the third qualifying round. Honved said in a statement that the delay took place while referees, UEFA delegates and club representatives discussed whether it should be called off. 'What was unacceptable to our club was what happened at the end of the meeting to put the referee or our players at risk,' the statement added.

A referee improvised by using a harmonica instead of a whistle during Tiptree Engaine FC and Stanway Rovers Reserves' pre-season friendly. The original referee was running late and needed a stand-in for the beginning of the match. But the substitute ref didn't have a whistle and had to make do with a harmonica. And, boy, could that cat blow.

Goals Soccer Centres, which runs outdoor football centres in the UK, has uncovered 'improper behaviour' in the preparation of its financial accounts stretching back to 'at least' 2010. The firm has blamed 'a number of individuals' for the behaviour. Following the revelations, the company's shares are set to be kicked off the stock exchange. The news will be a blow for Sports Direct boss Mike Ashley, who owns a nineteen per cent stake in the firm. Goals said that, as the issues with the accounts stretch back nearly a decade, there was 'material uncertainty' surrounding its historical financial statements. Dealing in the firm's shares was suspended in March when Goals revealed that 'substantial' VAT errors were likely to cost it twelve million knicker. At the time, it claimed the blunder 'may have an impact on future profitability' and it delayed the publication of its financial results for last year as it worked to revise them. It had until the end of September to release those results but now it expects to miss that deadline. 'The directors do not now believe this timeframe for the audit is achievable,' the firm told shareholders. As a result Goals no longer expects its shares to resume trading. The listing of its shares on the AIM market is 'expected to cease and cancellation will be effective from 30 September 2019.' Goals, which has forty five pitches in the UK, said 'conversations' were continuing with HMRC over its tax bill but revealed there had been 'no material developments' in those talks. Nevertheless, it said UK sales had increased over eleven per cent so far this year. They were up almost fifteen per cent in the US where it runs sites in California. In January, the East Kilbride-based firm warned on profits after it said that selling food and drink and offering children's birthday parties, had increased costs as it had to hire more staff.

A warning message attached to gambling adverts does 'little or nothing' to reduce the amount that people bet, according to research. Academics at the University of Warwick measured the effect of the industry's responsible gambling slogan: 'When the fun stops, stop' and found it 'did not show any significant effect on gambling behaviour.' No shit? Because telling someone who is addicted, 'you wanna stop that, mate' has such a one hundred per cent success rate in all areas, doesn't it? They also pointed to the fact that the word 'fun' is printed in much larger font than any other word in the message, which is meant to promote 'more responsible gambling.' But, doesn't. Researchers from the university's psychology department asked five hundred and six people, who said they were fans of Premier League football and also had experience of sports betting, to place small wagers after viewing adverts, some of which contained the warning label and some of which did not. They found that those who had seen the, allegedly, 'responsible' gambling message bet more often than those who had not. While the difference was 'not statistically significant enough to indicate conclusively that the message is counterproductive,' the researchers concluded that it 'did not achieve its aim of promoting more responsible gambling behaviour.' Gillian Wilmot, who chairs the industry's Senet Group, which is responsible for the slogan, said it had 'generated substantial awareness of the link between negative emotional states and problem gambling, giving young men an accessible phrase to challenge each other's behaviour in a way that has now passed into popular culture.' Whatever the fuck all of that corporate-speak drivel means. 'Discouraging all betting was never its purpose,' she added. Again, no shit? Instead, it 'aims to get gamblers to pause and reflect, in much the same way as the Bet Regret messaging.' However, she claimed that the group was considering upgrading the warning message, including shrinking the size of the word fun. 'Last year, we initiated a review of the campaign, informed by a substantial behavioural study and the new creative will reflect a change to the relative size of the word fun in response to feedback.' One of the report's authors, Doctor Lukasz Walasek, said: 'The purpose of the "When the fun stops, stop" warning labels is to encourage more responsible gambling behaviour. Yet there is hardly any evidence suggesting that such labels are effective.' The slogan is likely to appear much less often on television in future after the industry introduced a voluntary ban on advertising during sports events in response to concern about the impact on children and vulnerable people. Which, if it means those bloody annoying Bet365 adverts with that spotty oik wittering on about his 'smarts' appear less frequently on the Stately Telly Topping Manor gogglebox, will be a real bonus. Many - this blogger included - having become increasingly concerned about the complex relationship that, in particular football, has with the betting industry. And, the hypocrisy of, for example, handing out bans to players found to have engaged in betting, or fines to clubs whose sponsors are betting companions if their juniors teams wear strips containing the sponsor's logo whilst, seemingly, having no problem whatsoever with all three of the EFL leagues being sponsored by SkyBet. And, thus, seeing every single player in the Championship and League's One and Two running around with the SkyBet logo on their shirts.

Kilmarnock and Police Scotland are reportedly investigating after the roof of a shelter covering disabled supporters collapsed as Glasgow Rangers fans went geet mental and celebrated a stoppage-time winner at Rugby Park in, shall we say, an exuberant fashion. Connor Goldson's ninety first-minute header secured a two-one Scottish Premiership victory for the Ibrox side and sparked an invasion of the pitch. A roof covering disabled Rangers fans caved in, with one man being injured. 'He received medical treatment at the ground,' said a police statement. Meanwhile, four men were extremely arrested for alleged breach of the peace offences but these were not related to the pitch invasion. There were 'issues' before the game with Rangers fans getting into Rugby Park because of problems with electronic turnstiles. Police Scotland confirmed that they 'assisted' Kilmarnock officials and that all away supporters were in the ground fifteen minutes after kick-off.

Seven allegedly naughty men have been very arrested after 'a large fight,' which is 'thought to have involved football fans,' broke out on a Tube train in Central London. The mass brawl took place while the train was at Great Portland Street Station on Sunday. The men were all held on suspicion of violent disorder and general punching and remain in custody, British Transport Police said. Supporters of Sheikh Yer Man City and Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws, who were playing at Wembley, were in the station at the time. The two clubs met in the Community Shield match with Sheikh Yer Man City ultimately winning on penalties. Metropolitan Line trains, which serve Wembley Stadium, travel through Great Portland Street. The BTP said that no injuries were reported. Despite all the punching.