Aal The Lads & Lasses, There, Aal With Smilin' Faces ...

The Premier League, this blogger's beloved (though, previously, unsellable) Newcastle United Football Club and St James Holdings Limited have, today, settled the dispute over the takeover of the club by the consortium of PIF, PCP Capital Partners and RB Sports & Media. A three hundred million smackers Saudi Arabian-backed takeover bid has, finally, reached a conclusion. The fact that it has happened this week, after eighteen months is something of a shock. Last week United's supporters were celebrating when they learned of a January arbitration date. Now one of the most complicated takeovers in the league's history is over and fans can dream of a brighter future. It will be a future without hated previous owner Mike Ashley and one in which the club can compete with Europe's biggest teams thanks to the billions the Saudi Public Investment Fund (PIF) can provide. 

    For a fanbase and club which has lurched from one drama to another in the past decade-and-a-half since Ashley first waddled into Th' Toon, at least there is now a blank page. No-one was expecting the takeover to be completed this week. The best anyone could have hoped for was January 2022, when arbitration between the consortium, led by financier Amanda Staveley, was scheduled in an attempt to settle a row with the Premier League about who would have control at the club. The Saudi state has been accused (rightly) of human rights abuses and was recently embroiled in a copyright row, which would have made it tricky for the takeover to go through based on the Premier League's owners' and directors' test. So, what the consortium needed to do was prove that the Kingdom's PIF, which would provide eighty per cent of the money for the takeover, was a separate entity to the state. Difficult, perhaps, when the ruling leader Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman is also listed as PIF's chairman. But with legally-binding assurances provided, that has now happened. It is understood there will be significant consequences if those agreements are broken. The consortium can also demonstrate how PIF already invests in companies, including the McLaren F1 team, without state control. 

    The precursor to news of the takeover going through on Wednesday was Qatar broadcaster beIN Sports saying it had resolved its long-running dispute about Premier League football matches being broadcast illegally in Saudi Arabia. By proving there is separation between the Saudi state and PIF that issue becomes immaterial. But after claims that beIN had previously pressured the Premier League into blocking the takeover, the timing was interesting nonetheless. There is no doubt the vast majority of fans are celebrating the Saudi Arabian-led takeover, no matter the potential distractions that come with it. A Newcastle United Supporters' Trust survey said this week that almost ninety four per cent of its members who expressed a preference were in favour of the takeover and owner Ashley has been told to 'get out of our club' at nearly every match. The situation has become especially toxic this season. Newcastle are currently winless, second bottom in the Premier League and the same fans' survey said ninety four per cent of supporters want manager Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) to leave 'in the best interests of the club.' And, to not let the door hit his arse on the way out. The takeover, they hope, will wash away the sour taste in many mouths on Tyneside. 

     PIF's assets of two hundred and fifty billion knicker dwarfs the wealth of even Sheikh Yer Man City's Abu Dhabi owners and Paris St-Germain's Qatari owners and can conjure up images of signing the likes of French World Cup winner Kylian Mbappe or recruiting Antonio Conte as a replacement for Bruce. At least, that's the theory being pushed by most of the media. 'Fans are absolutely delighted that the disastrous fourteen-year reign of Ashley is almost over,' said Greg Tomlinson of NUST. 'They are looking forward to having hope and belief in their football club for the first time in many years. We don't demand that the club is winning trophies next season. We just want growth and a football club that gets better. Fans have been beaten into the ground.' Tomlinson added: 'Clubs are bought and sold at the highest level by billionaires and sovereign states and we have not had a say in that. But as a supporters' organisation we will always support inclusion and be against discrimination and abuse of human rights. We will use our influence to effect change where we can.' Backed by the wealth of PIF, the consortium is also made up of Staveley's PCP Capital Partners and British property investors the Reuben Brothers, who are also billionaires, so there appears to be no shortage of money. Staveley, who is from Yorkshire, has spoken in the past of her admiration for Sheikh Yer Man City, having been involved in the Abu Dhabi takeover thirteen years ago. But she has also previously urged caution about lavish spending, preferring to highlight how City's owners have invested in the city of Manchester and in developing an impressive youth academy. So there is much hope from locals - this blogger very much included - that the new Newcastle regime follow a similar template. 

    From a club perspective, one of the first items on the forty eight-year-old's agenda will be overhauling the structure of the club and improving its communications with supporters. Ashley is seldom heard from and any communication from senior figures often comes in the form of statements from managing director Lee Charnley, who is Bruce's go-to man when it comes to transfers. Or, lack of them. But there is no chief executive tasked with running the club, there is no director of football and Bruce is the public figure who has to face weekly questions about everything from legal cases to lack of funds for players, which led to huge frustration in the summer. At which he is, quite simply, about as much use as a chocolate fireguard. Bruce, a Newcastle fan himself - something he trots out with monotonous regularity - claims that he 'only wants what's best for the club and if that means a takeover, then great.' But with the new owners seeking to establish a bond with supporters, the sixty-year-old's position will be under serious threat. Without any ability to sign players until January, a replacement, big-name manager, would at least signify their intent. Staveley praised the former - highly-regarded - Newcastle boss Rafael Benitez when she first made her move for the club in 2018. But the Spaniard has made a fine start with Everton this season. Other fans have said they would like former Juventus, Italy and Moscow Chelski FC manager Conte, who is available. Other managers on the market include another former Moscow Chelski FC boss Frank Lampard and former Sheffield United manager Chris Wilder - although appointment of the latter would be regarded as a significantly retrograde step by many. Current coach Graeme Jones could also work as an interim replacement should Bruce get his large backside kicked out of the front door at St James Park into the gutter along with all the other effluence. After a poor start to the Premier League season, the most important objective will be maintaining the club's top-flight status. But for a lot of fans the future suddenly looks at least a little bit brighter. Of course, we've been here before - fourteen years ago, to be exact when Ashley took over the club. So, the age-old truism 'be careful what you wish for, it might just come true' is, always, worth having in the back of ones mind. Nevertheless, Amanda Staveley has told NUFC fans they are 'the greatest in the world.' Which, in one sentence, is more than those same fans ever got out of Ashley's gob. The British businesswoman greeted supporters at the Jesmond Dene Hotel, where the consortium members had been awaiting the announcement. She told supporters: "It has taken us four years to get here today. I know everyone has got a lot of questions about managers and players and things. Right now, we just want to get in and do a review of the business and we are going to let you all know the plans. We're here to invest. We are patient. We are genuinely here to try and make sure that we try and become the best custodians of the club we can be. You are the greatest fans in the world."' She added: 'This is a long-term investment. We are excited about the future prospects for Newcastle United. We intend to instill a united philosophy across the club, establish a clear purpose, and help provide leadership that will allow Newcastle United to go on to big achievements over the long term. Our ambition is aligned with the fans – to create a consistently successful team that’s regularly competing for major trophies and generates pride across the globe.' Good words. Now, back 'em up with some positive actions and a bit of progress and, trust this blogger Mandy, m'love, you'll be able to walk across the Tyne without getting your feet wet on the wave of goodwill that'll be coming your way.

They Were Only Supposed To Blow The Bloody Doors Off

Sunday saw the final of the socher-ball Euro 2020(ish) competition played at yer actual Wembley Stadium. If you missed it, we lost. Next ...

Almost twenty four viewers watched England's historic Euro 2020(ish) victory against Denmark on Wednesday on ITV. According to overnight figures, the semi-final at Wembley brought an average audience of 23.86 million. The last five minutes of the match drew a peak audience of 25.71 million - almost five million more than the peak audience recorded during the previous Saturday's match against Ukraine. The game was the most watched non-news event since Croatia knocked England out of the 2018 World Cup at the semi-final stage. That match was watched by 24.3 million in July 2018. England's four-nil win over Ukraine attracted a peak TV audience of 20.9 million, making it the most-watched live TV event of the year up to that point. The most watched event of recent years remains the Prime Minister's May 2020 coronavirus announcement, which was seen by 27.49 million viewers across six different channels.

Meanwhile, a TV audience of a fraction under thirty one million punters watched the tense closing minutes of the Euro 2020(ish) final, overnight figures show. Ratings peaked during Sunday's calamitou penalty shootout between England and Italy at Wembley, which was broadcast on both the BBC and ITV. An average of 29.85 million watched the whole match live. Te combined figure makes it the highest TV audience since the funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales, in 1997. Whilst England goalkeeper Jordan Pickford saved two of the Azzurri's spot kicks in what was, very much, a game of two halves, Marcus Rashford hit the post with his spot-kick before Jadon Sancho and Bukayo Saka had theirs saved to hand Italy a, in the end, well deserved victory. 'You can cut ratings in so many different ways and audience measurement has changed over the years, but safe to say this: it is among the biggest audiences in UK broadcasting history,' said Deadline's international editor Jake Kanter. In footballing terms, the highest ratings before Sunday's figures were released came from the West Germany versus England semi-final at the World Cup in 1990, watched by twenty five million viewers across both of the main hannels. That also featured a painful penalty shootout exit for England. The official audience for Sunday's match may rise still further when those who saw it via catch-up services are taken into account. The overwhelming majority of people watched the coverage on BBC as compared to ITV - by a factor of more than four to one.

Nursing A Semi

England's fifty five-year wait to reach a major socher-ball final is over after victory against Denmark at Euro 2020(ish). On a night of nerve-shredding tension followed by unconfined joy and delirium at a rocking Wembley Stadium. Gareth Southgate's side were on a mission to travel one step further than any England side had since 1966 (and all that) and the World Cup final win against West Germany. They finally achieved the long-cherished goal as they came from behind to triumph in extra time against the plucky Danes. In front of sixty six thousand fans and in a frenzied, thunderous atmosphere this newer Wembley has not experienced before, England battled their way out of adversity to secure a meeting with Italy in the final at the same venue on Sunday. And, they'll probably lose because, that's England for you!

Sometimes, your luck is just in, you catch a break when you most need it and, after so much major tournament semi-final heartache over the past decades, England finally got something to go their way and, in the process, one of these suffocatingly high-tension encounters to follow suit. They had to fight for victory against steely opponents - who had an inspired keeper in yer actual Bacon Sandwich Junior, Kasper Schmeichel - especially after conceding their first goal of the tournament to Mikkel Damsgaard's free-kick after thirty minutes. But they replied quickly as Denmark captain Simon Kjær turned in Bukayo Saka's threatening cross six minutes before the break getting to the ball inches ahead of Raheem Sterling. Schmeichel was Denmark's hero as the hosts sought the winner, saving brilliantly from Harry Maguire and Harry Kane as the game went into extra time and the prospect of penalties loomed large. The moment the nation has awaited so long effectively arrived with Wembley's giant screens showing one hundred and three minutes and Kane standing over a penalty after Sterling had been fouled by Joakim Mæhle. The contact appeared minimal but the Dutch referee, Danny Makkelie (who had an excellent game throughout), felt it was sufficient to award the penalty and VAR agreed with the decision. To compound the uneasiness, there was a second ball on the pitch at the time, although it did not appear to have affected play. In keeping with England's long and tortuous history, it was not straightforward as the normally ice-cool Kane saw a pretty awful penalty saved by Schmeichel - but the rebound fell back at Kane's feet and he scored. Kane has now equalled Gary Lineker's long-standing record of ten goals for England at major tournaments. Wembley promptly went pure dead off-it with deafening noise and bananas celebrations and, after all the 'years of hurt,' England now have the golden opportunity to finally claim a major crown. The biggest crowd at a British sporting event in sixteen months had provided the noise throughout, living every moment and now they knew the end was in sight. The night would belong to them, to Gareth Southgate and his squad that has ripped up the old narratives around the England team. At last, Denmark were broken. They would finish with ten men after their substitute Mathias Jensen was injured in the one hundred and fifth minute with all of the replacements having been used. They simply had nothing left. England had suffered and worried, they always do. But in the second period of extra time there was an unusual sense of comfort and even serenity as Southgate’s players closed out the game with great common sense, keeping their composure, taking care to play keep-ball. The statistics showed that Denmark only touched the ball once inside the England area in those final fifteen minutes. England deserved it. They had considerably more shots than their opponents and, from an early point in the second half, it was they that were constantly on the front foot - the fact that the best player on the pitch, by a distance, was Schmeichel was telling. On an unforgettable night, England answered two of the most crucial questions surrounding them. For all the promise and progress since the bitter disappointment of defeat to Croatia in the World Cup semi-finals in Moscow in 2018, the players and manager needed to demonstrate they could overcome what has proved to be an insurmountable hurdle for both themselves and their predecessors, after they also came up short in the last four at the Italia 1990 World Cup and Euro 1996. This was the acid test - at least before Sunday's final against a formidable Italy - and they delivered the goods not only in the context of Euro 2020(ish) but also in demonstrating their character and big-match mentality. England went into this semi on a wave of expectation and national optimism after the last-sixteen victory against Germany at Wembley was followed up by the emphatic four-nil demolition of Ukraine in the quarter-final in Rome. And they faced a test of their nerve when they fell behind to this excellent Danish side. Pierre-Emile Højbjerg and Kasper Dolberg went close - the latter after a poor Pickford clearance - and England were in trouble when Damsgaard summoned whip and power on his free-kick. It was the first goal Pickford had conceded in seven hundred and twenty five minutes for England. England were ragged at this point - the worst they'd played since their ponderous and lethagic first round game with The Scotchland - but the response was full of conviction, equalising swiftly then taking control before the tiring Danes and the magnificent Schmeichel were finally overcome with Kane's winner. Southgate's team has crossed a barrier no England team has made it beyond since Sir Alf Ramsey's World Cup winners - now we must wait to see if it will give them the confidence and belief to clear the final hurdle. As Southgate will have demanded of them, England's big players made their impact when it mattered most on a night when failure would have been hard to bear. Kane, who struggled to get into Euro 2020(ish) during the group stage, rode his luck to score his fourth - and most important - goal of the tournament after his missed penalty, but his performance was full of energy and menace. He is back to his best and how England will need that against the two great Italian central-defensive warriors Giorgio Chiellini and Leonardo Bonucci, who have a quality and street-wisdom reflected in their combined total of seventy years. Sterling continued his superb tournament, reflected in the run that earned England's match-winning penalty, hitting at the heart of Denmark's outstanding defence until he finally drew the crucial mistake. The Scum's Harry Maguire, an injury doubt who did not even make the start of the tournament, is now back in the role where Southgate wants him - defensive leader, powerhouse and ever-present set-piece danger at one end and blockade at the other. There were, in fact, fine performances from all of the back four - Kyle Walker in particular - whilst Saka, Mason Mount and late substitute Phil Foden showed plenty of drive and energy going forward. Once the euphoria has died down and England's heroes clear their heads, they must go above and beyond the call of duty once more. There were tears among Denmark's players as the final whistle sounded on their Euro 2020(ish) campaign, one which began with the trauma of Christian Eriksen's cardiac arrest in their opening game against Finland then went on to be a huge credit to coach Kapser Hjulmand and his team. Denmark had the air of a squad on a mission as Eriksen thankfully continues his recovery but they were not simply fuelled by emotion, this was a team with quality and character who fully deserved to reach the last four. And, make no mistake, Denmark made this a very awkward night for England but might just curse the failure to protect their lead to half-time. This was a cruel night for Hjulmand and his team - but they have graced Euro 2020(ish) with their strength, unity and their performances. Pickford set a new record for an England goalkeeper for most minutes without conceding overtaking Gordon Banks' seven hundred and twenty minutes set between May/July 1966. England won a European Championship knockout game after going behind for the first time, while it's the first time they have done so in a major tournament since their three-two win over Cameroon in the 1990 World Cup quarter-final. This was the seventh game at Euro 2020(ish) to go to extra time, with the 1990 and 2014 World Cups the only major tournaments to see more matches go to the extended period (eight each). Mikkel Damsgaard's opening goal for Denmark was the first direct free-kick goal of Euro 2020(ish). Jack Grealish became the third England player to be both subbed on and then off in a match at a major tournament whenhe was replaced by Kieran Trippier for the second half of extra time, after Jamie Redknapp (against The Scotchland in Euro 1996) and Aaron Lennon (against Portugal in the 2006 World Cup). Although the decision seemed to surprise some commentators, Grealish had begun to give the ball away rather too often and, England's dominance during the final fifteen minutes justified Southgate's switch. At nineteen years and three hundred and five days, Bukayo Saka became the youngest Englishman to start a match at the semi-final stage or later of a major tournament.

The Charge Of The White Brigade

England produced a somewhat-better-than-expected display as they thrashed Ukraine four-nil in Rome to set up a Euro 2020(ish) semi-final against Denmark at Wembley. Which now, knowing the daft sods as we all do from bitter past experience, they'll probably now go and lose. Nevertheless, regardless of what the future may hold, Gareth Southgate's side followed up the landmark victory over Germany in the last sixteen by producing a performance of composure and high quality to continue their impressive progress in this tournament. Harry Kane was back to his predatory best after struggling in the group stage, following up his goal against Germany by poking home a superb pass from Raheem Sterling after only four minutes. Ukraine barely threatened and England - having reached the last four at the 2018 World Cup and the following year's Nations League - were on their way to a third successive semi-final when Harry Maguire powered home a header from Luke Shaw's free-kick seconds after the break. The outstanding Shaw was the creator once more four minutes later with a perfect cross that was headed in from six yards by Kane. England were impressive as they simply overpowered Ukraine with substitute Jordan Henderson getting the fourth - his first international goal, in his sixty second appearance - when he arrived with perfect timing to head in Mason Mount's corner. To add to England and Southgate's satisfaction, they kept their fifth successive clean sheet to maintain their record of not conceding a goal at Euro 2020(ish). Southgate never wavered for a second in his belief that captain Kane would have a significant impact on Euro 2020(ish), even when he looked off the pace and out of sorts when failing to score in group games against Croatia, The Scotchland and the Czech Republic. Performances which led to some calls for Kane to be dropped (albeit, not from anyone that actually matters). Southgate's faith was rewarded when Kane got off the mark with England's crucial second in the two-nil win over Germany in mid-week. It was the catalyst for the real Kane to come alive in the tournament - and he punished Ukraine in trademark style. Kane pounced for his first, rose to power in a second and almost completed a hat-trick in spectacular fashion with a left-foot volley that was turned on to the post by Ukraine keeper Georgi Bushchan. He was a constant threat, his link with Sterling increasingly impressive and has timed his return to peak form perfectly. The Scum's Shaw has had to fight to revive his England career - having been behind Moscow Chelski FC's Ben Chilwell for some time, he missed out on a start against Croatia in the Euro 2020(ish) opener, when Southgate used Kieran Trippier in the left-back role. It has all changed since he was brought into the side for the goalless draw against The Scotch. Shaw has made a magnificent contribution to England's run to the semi-final and will likely be one of the first names on the teamsheet for the game against Denmark. Shaw has been solid in defence while proving to be a potent creator of goals, setting up Sterling's vital opening goal against Ze Chermans then setting up two more here, first with a fine delivery from a free-kick and then a perfect cross. It has not been a smooth ride for Shaw, who emerged as a teenager at Southampton before his big-money move to The Scum in June 2014. He has suffered serious injury at United and was, seemingly, never trusted by Jose Mourinho when he was The Scum's manager, but is now delivering for England in a major tournament - proof of his character and an achievement that makes that long road even more worthwhile. Southgate has manoeuvred his England squad with great expertise throughout Euro 2020(ish), demonstrating the riches he has at his disposal. In Rome, he was able to give a first start in the tournament to Jadon Sancho, the twenty one-year-old who has just agreed a seventy three million knicker move to The Scum from Borussia Dortmund. Sancho slotted in perfectly in place on the injured Bakayo Saka on the right side ofa three-man attack, showing huge confidence and ambition in a timely reminder of what he can offer. Moscow Chelski FC's Mount also returned the side, with two creators in the shape of Aston Villains captain Jack Grealish and Sheikh Yer Man City's Phil Foden left on the bench. Henderson, the vastly experienced Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws' captain, made his mark while Marcus Rashford was also introduced off the bench during the second half. It was proof, amid an imperious victory, that Southgate's England squad has the sort of quality and depth that will make them confident they could finally end that fifty five-year wait for success.

Everywhere you looked on the pitch there was an impressive performance from an England player. John Stones reacted well when Roman Yaremchuk found space, forcing the striker wide for his chance. Stones has not put a foot wrong all tournament. The midfield duo of Declan Rice and Kalvin Phillips were, again impressive despite both being of yellow cards (a further caution would have seen either out of the semi-finals). Rice produced another alert, composed display. Heoffered brisk passing, went close from twenty yards and was around to mop up any danger. Phillips had to be disciplined when Ukraine started to stroke the ball around midfield. Like Rice, he avoided picking up a booking that would have brought a suspension. When Kane scored the third, both were replaced by Henderson and Jude Bellingham (who, himself, showed maturity way beyond his tender years during the final thirty minutes). Sterling was, again, a constant threat with his pace and tricky. Southgate is just the second manager to take England's men to the semi-final of both the World Cup and the European Championship, after Alf Ramsey in 1966 and 1968. The Three Lions have now kept seven consecutive clean sheets for the first time in their history. They have not conceded for six hundred and sixty two minutes. This was Ukraine's joint-largest defeat in a match at a major tournament, equalling their four-nil hiding by Spain in the group stages of the 2006 World Cup. Raheem Sterling has been involved in twenty two goals in his past twenty one games for England (fifteen goals, seven assists), while Harry Kane has been involved in twenty seven in his past twenty six (eighteen goals, nine assists). Kane's double moved him level with Alan Shearer and just one behind Gary Lineker's record of ten tournament goals for England.

Luke Shaw's assist for Harry Maguire was the first time two The Scum players have combined for an England goal at a major tournament since David Beckham assisted Paul Scholes against Portugal at Euro 2000. England keeper Jordan Pickford has kept five clean sheets at Euro 2020(ish) - no keeper has ever kept more in a single staging of the competition before. Southgate warned England not to underestimate Denmark, who beat the Czech Republic in Baku on Saturday. Denmark gave England problems in the Nations League last year and have wonderful togetherness after Christian Eriksen’s cardiac arrest during their opening game of the competition against Finland. 'They're obviously riding a wave of emotion after what happened with Christian and that's understandable,' Southgate said. 'It's going to be a fantastic game to be a part of. We have got more experience as a group of those sorts of games and individually the players have experienced those games, which is definitely helpful. We still have a long way to go and we are not satisfied. Tonight is a really enjoyable night for everybody but I've got to say I was already thinking about the next challenge before the end of the game. That's the one for us – we've never been to a European Championship final. It's another opportunity to make history.' Southgate was asked whether England had ignited the nation (whatever that means). 'I know what will be happening at home and that is great,' he said. 'It's lovely to send everyone home happy on a Saturday night – beer in hand or in the air, they should enjoy it.' Southgate spoke with pride about his role in reviving England. 'When I look at the people who are in that list of England managers, you know, Sir Bobby [Robson] and Sir Alf [Ramsey], so many of the managers that have gone before, it is an absolute honour to be in that sort of company. I know how high I hold them in esteem and it's great to be able to get the results that are putting our country on the football map again really.'

Glad It's All Over

The six Premier League clubs involved in the disgraced and disgraceful European Super League fiasco have agreed to make a combined 'goodwill' payment of twenty two million smackers. The Arse, Moscow Chelski FC, The Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws, Sheikh Yer Man City, The Scum and Stottingtot Hotshots all got their greed right on and wanted to form a breakaway league. Which would, effectively, have pissed all over the other fourteen Premier League Clubs and everyone else in the English football pyramid without, seemingly, the six clubs having a single thought in their collective head other than how much disgusting wonga the greedy fekkers were going to rake in for themselves. Should they attempt any similar malarkey again, new rules mean that the clubs will be fined twenty five million knicker each and will have thirty points deducted. So, that makes any such repeat extremely unlikely. Although, it would be really funny if they tried it. Meanwhile, UEFA has temporarily paused disciplinary proceedings against Juventus, Barcelona and Real Madrid. They are the only three clubs - with their greed right on - from the twelve that signed up who are yet to accept any punishment or renounce the ESL and all its Devilish works. European football's governing body had opened disciplinary proceedings against the trio in May. In a joint statement, the Football Association and Premier League said that the English clubs had 'collectively agreed' to make a payment of twenty two million notes as 'a gesture of goodwill.' The money 'will go towards the good of the game,' it has been claimed, which includes 'new investment in support for fans' and will 'help fund grassroots and community projects.' One or two people even believed that was, actually, where the money would end up. 'The six clubs involved in proposals to form a European Super League have acknowledged once again that their actions were a mistake and have reconfirmed their commitment to the Premier League and the future of the English game,' the two bodies said in a statement. 'They have wholeheartedly apologised to their fans, fellow clubs, the Premier League and the FA.' Albeit, apologised nowhere near grovellingly enough to satisfy the impotent rage felt against these greedy louse-scum by the majority of the game's supporters, including - to be fair - many of their own. 'The Premier League and the FA have worked closely together throughout this process and this agreement brings both investigations into the matter to a conclusion,' the statement continued. The BBC Sport website claims that The Scum's owners the Glazer family, Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws owners Fenway Sports Group, The Arse's majority shareholders Kroenke Sports Enterprises and Stottingtot Hotshot's owners will pay the fine rather than their clubs. Whether the billionaire owners of Sheikh Yer Man City and Moscow Chelski FC will do likewise is not, at this time, known. Or, indeed, much cared about frankly. Former The Scum and England defender Gary Neville, who has been a vocal critic of football's governance and the ESL, tweeted the punishment was 'an absolute embarrassment.' And, for once he's absolutely correct. An average of about three-and-a-bit million quid each is roughly what these bunch of jokers spend on vol au vants for the boardroom each season. Nine of the ESL clubs - the six Premier League sides, plus AC Milan, Inter Milan and Atletico Madrid - were fined a similar amount by European governing body UEFA last month. They agreed to pay fifteen million Euros between them and have five per cent of their UEFA competition revenues held for one season, starting in 2023-24. In May, UEFA said the other three clubs involved - Real, Barca and Juve - would face 'appropriate action' having failed to distance themselves from the ESL. Media outlets were told the clubs were risking being removed from the Champions League if the case went against them, but - sadly - that now looks unlikely. The three clubs believe an order issued by a Madrid court in April that prevents UEFA taking action against them is valid in Switzerland, where the governing body is based. This has now been passed to the European Court of Justice for a ruling, which has led to the initial case being stopped. UEFA said it was 'confident' in its case and would 'continue to defend its position in all the relevant jurisdictions.' The negative reaction to the ESL has sparked a huge debate about how football is run. The government has already announced a 'fan-led review' into football governance and the prospect of an independent regulator in English football is set for a parliamentary debate after a petition, launched by a number of ex-footballers, gained more than one hundred thousand signatures.

The Premier League has agreed to roll over its existing television deal with broadcasters for a further three years. The new deal with Sky Sports, BT Sport, Amazon Prime Video and BBC Sport will run from 2022 to 2025. The current 4.7 billion knicker deal, agreed in 2018, represented a ten per cent drop in value. Which, one imagines, comes as a considerable blow to the more greedy of football's current hierarchy. They - and you - know exactly who they are. So, good news there, then. The Government has approved the deal 'in principle' with an 'exclusion order' under the competition act, which allows the league to renew without its normal tender process. 'In light of the damaging impact of the Covid-19 pandemic throughout the English football pyramid, the Premier League was able to demonstrate to Government exceptional and compelling reasons for the Exclusion Order,' the league said. As part of the new deal, BT Sport say that to help with the fixture congestion, they will change their Saturday lunchtime game to an evening slot when teams involved have played in Europe on the previous Wednesday. Clubs had been concerned that there could be another fall in value if the usual open-market auction started as planned next month. The value of rights for domestic leagues in Europe also appears to have peaked. The Premier League say that the renewals will provide financial certainty to professional clubs and also enables an additional one hundred million smackers of funding to be provided to clubs throughout the football pyramid over the next four years. The extra funding will be available to more than a thousand clubs in the National League system, women's and girls' football, EFL League One and League Two clubs and the Football Foundation. It will also support a number of football-wide projects, including the Premier League's work looking at head injuries in football, anti-discrimination and fan groups. The EFL said it 'welcomes' the increased funding but warned: 'It is important to acknowledge that the current media rights deal will preserve the status quo of an unbalanced, unsustainable and unfair financial distribution model across English football. While we recognise the attempts by the government to increase the level of solidarity provided to League One and Two clubs through this process, what is more urgently required is a fundamental reset of the game's financial model - both in terms of fairer distribution of monies at all levels and sensible, realistic cost control measures to ensure clubs will live within their means.' This blogger is decidedly unsure about this entire 'preserving The Status Quo' malarkey, however. Forty years of imaginative use of demin and ponytails is, surely, enough? 'Covid-19 has had a significant impact on football, and renewals with our UK broadcast partners will reduce uncertainty, generate stability and promote confidence within the football pyramid,' said Premier League chief executive Richard Masters. 'We know that, once concluded, this will have a positive impact on the wider industry, jobs and tax revenues.' The Football Association has welcomed the extra one hundred million knicker of funding which chief executive Mark Bullingham says will 'help the pyramid get back on its feet.' David Kogan, the former Premier League rights executive, said the government's involvement in the deal was a 'really marked difference in the way football's been run in the past.' He told BBC Radio 4's Today programme: 'This will buy the Premier League three years of some peace.' Sky Sports and BT both claimed the deal was 'good news' for its viewers. And, for their pockets, obviously.

The football season has now, pretty much concluded and socherball fans are looking forward with considerable 'oh, yeah, I'd forgotten about that' to the - much-delayed - '2020' European Championships coming up next month. But, in the meantime, now is probably an opportune moment for a round-up of how the 2020-21 season unfolded. The one hundred and forty first season in English football concluded with Sheikh Yer Man City winning the Premier League. In a season played almost entirely behind closed doors, City overcame a shaky (no pun intended) start to the campaign and secured their third Premiership title in four years; having been in eighth place in mid-December, the team went on a thirteen-match winning run that sent them rocketing up the table and, despite a couple of unexpected losses in the closing stages of the season, secured the title on top of a fourth consecutive League Cup victory and reaching their first ever Champions League final. But, they lost that one. City's local rivals, The Scum, finished second in the Premiership, despite not really being in the title race for much of the season, a consequence of a poor start which included three home losses in their opening six games; however, The Red Devils at least ensured Champions League football once again, thanks in part to a remarkable run of form which saw them go unbeaten away from home all season. But, they ended the season on a downer, losing the final of the Europa League on penalties to Villareal. The battle for the other two Champions League spots went to the final day of the season, with Moscow Chelski FC, Leicester City and The Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws all in it to win it. Taking third spot were Liverpool, whose first title defence since 1990 was, mostly, one of struggle; whilst they stood top of the league at the end of 2020, a collapse in form in the new year saw both the team's hopes of retaining the title as well as their sixty eight-game unbeaten run at Anfield implode under the weight of a lack of fans and an injury crisis, including a season-ending injury to Virgil van Dijk just five games into the campaign. However, a strong late run (including that outrageous victory over West Brom in which goalkeeper, Alisson, scored the winner in the final minute of injury time), coupled with the teams above them dropping points, helped The Reds squeeze into the top four. Moscow Chelski FC finished fourth, a strong second half of the season under new manager Thomas Tuchel pushing The Blues from as low as ninth near the end of January to both securing a Champions League spot again and winning their first Champions League final since 2012, a successful end to a mixed season (which included a second consecutive FA Cup final defeat). Having spent most of the season in the top four, another stuttering end to the league saw Leicester City finish fifth and miss out, again, on the Champions League, with inferior home form costing them badly. However, The Foxes at least finished the season with a trophy, winning their first ever FA Cup and giving Brendan Rodgers his first piece of silverware with the club. Finishing sixth were West Hamsters United, who surprised many in going further than their seventh-place finish in 2016. The Arse and Stottingtot Hotshots enjoyed differing form across their respective campaigns, The Gunners even hovering just above the drop zone in November, but ended up battling it out for seventh place and the last European spot - which ultimately went to Spurs, at least ensuring European football for the club next season. Dirty Leeds's first top-flight season since 2004 proved to be highly successful, both the team and manager Marcelo Bielsa attracting plenty of praise for their attacking brand of football and providing some spectacular results even in defeat. Despite achieving a few superb results, including taking four points off city rivals Liverpool, Everton's hopes of European football were done-for by a poor run of form at Goodison, securing just six wins compared to eleven on the road. They ended their season in a disappointing tenth position. In what proved to be Nuno Espirito Santo's last season as coach, Wolverhampton Wanderings endured a less successful campaign than their previous two, the loss of striker Raúl Jiménez to a freak accident in a win at The Arse contributed to Wolves sliding down the table after a decent start and only avoiding a relegation scrap because of the poor form of the teams below them. In what also ended up as Roy Hodgson's final season as manager, Crystal Palace also comfortably avoided the drop, extending their record run of top-flight seasons to nine in a row for the next campaign. This blogger's beloved though (still, sadly) unsellable Magpies finished a creditable twelfth thanks to a fine late run of form which, effectively (and, much to many fans severe disappointment) saved the job of Mister Bruice (nasty to see him, to see him nasty). At the bottom of the table, all three relegated teams had their demotion confirmed with at least three games to play and, for the first time since the introduction of three points for a win, none of the relegated sides broke the thirty-point barrier. Just one season after breaking into the top ten and strutting around like they owned the place, Sheffield United endured one of the worst seasons in their history, breaking many unwanted records and equalling the record for the most losses in a Premier League season and the lowest goals scored in a thirty eight-game season. Ultimately, The Blades simply weren't sharp enough. West Bromwich Albinos finished above them, the controversial decision to sack manager Slaven Bilic in December in favour of that odious lard-bucket Sam Allardyce going against The Baggies, the former England manager suffering his second relegation in his managerial history (his first since 1997). Also returning to the second tier after one season was Fulham; despite enjoying a much better campaign defensively, the London club's hopes were ultimately let down by a lack of goals (including a mere nine scored at Craven Cottage), making it the fourth season in a row where they moved between the Premier League and the Championship. Burnley and Brighton & Hove Albinos comfortably avoided the drop as a consequence of the bottom three's significant inadequacies. 

Having been relegated with a whimper the previous year, Norwich City responded in emphatic style, securing both an immediate return to the Premier League and their second Championship title in three campaigns. Finishing second were Watford, who overcame yet another mid-season managerial change (their sixth in just over a year) to join The Canaries in returning to the top-flight after one season. Taking the final promotion spot through the play-offs by beating Swansea City - and ending a barren run of nine play-off campaigns - were Brentford. Who made amends for their narrow play-off loss the previous year and secured promotion to the Premier League for the first time, their win also sending The Bees back into the top-flight for the first time in seventy four years. Despite ultimately losing out in the play-off semi-finals, Barnsley were the surprise package of the campaign; having looked likely to battle relegation again at the end of October and then seeing their head coach depart for America, the appointment of virtually unknown French manager Valérien Ismaël saw The Tykes rocket up the table and comfortably secure fifth place just ahead of Bournemouth. After having battled against relegation since losing in the play-off final in 2017, Reading also enjoyed a much improved season under Veljko Paunović, only missing out on promotion owing to several bouts of indifferent form. Despite hovering above the relegation zone for much of the season, Coventry City managed to get their shit together in their first season in the second tier since 2012, a good run of results in the closing months pushing them into mid-table whilst The Sky Blues also received some good news off-the-pitch, managing to secure a contract to return to The Ricoh Arena after two seasons away. For the second reason running, the battle to avoid relegation saw all three places open going into the last round of games. Taking bottom place in the closing minutes of the season were Sheffield Wednesday, who fought valiantly to avoid the drop, only for the points deduction (twelve later reduced to six on appeal) for breaching financial rules imposed prior to the start of the season result in survival falling out of their reachand sending the Yorkshire club back into the third tier after a nine-year absence. Rotherham United finished second-bottom and were relegated back to League One, making this the fifth successive season in which they swapped between the two divisions; despite ending up as statistically the worst team in the division, they managed to keep themselves in contention for survival - mostly because of having a multitude of games in hand as a result of two COVID-19 outbreaks - and would, actually, have survived had they not conceded an eighty eighth-minute equaliser in their final match. Despite having what proved to be a spirited first season in the Championship, Wycombe Wanderers endured immediate relegation back to League One, their chances ultimately being undone by a dreadful start which saw them lose their first seven games. Derby County, who struggled all season following the appointment of Wayne Rooney as manager in November, would also have been relegated if not for Wednesday's points deduction; they did secure survival on the final day by holding Wednesday to a draw, albeit the result would have relegated them both without Rotherham conceding that late equaliser at Cardiff.

Playing in the third tier for the first time since 2005, Hull City made amends for their dramatic collapse in form and consequent relegation the previous season, this time being in the top two for almost the entire campaign and ultimately emerging as League One champions. Peterborough United finished as runners-up, making this the third time that manager Darren Ferguson had taken The Posh into the Championship and his fourth promotion with the club overall; Peterborough successfully achieved promotion in a three-three draw with Lincoln City. Qualifying for the play-off final were Blackpool and Lincoln with The Seasiders winning the final, two-one at Wembley to secured their return to the Championship for the first time since 2015. Whilst missing out on promotion yet again, The Mackem Filth did at least secure some success, winning the EFL Trophy whilst also gaining new ownership, in the form of businessman Kyril Louis-Dreyfus. Nevertheless, their defeat to Lincoln in the play-offs will be a bitter blow to Sunderland's long-suffering support who now face a fourth season in the third tier. So that's, like, really sad, obviously. A poor start to the campaign for Burton Albion saw The Brewers pulled into a relegation battle, which was won with games to spare following the return of influential manager Jimmy Floyd Hasselhoff for a second spell as manager. Wigan Not Very Athletic endured what proved to be yet another turbulent season both on and off the pitch, battling both a potential second successive relegation (and a potential fourth in seven seasons) and an uncertain future; however, a good run of form late in the season which coincided with The Latics finding new ownership saved the club from the drop. Bristol Rovers finished rock bottom and returned to League Two for the first time in five years, with three different managers - the most recent being Joey Barton - all trying and failing to improve the club's fortunes. Swindon Town's season rapidly fell apart after promotion-winning manager Richie Wellens moved to Salford City early in the campaign, finishing the season with both the most defeats and the worst defence in the division as they suffered relegation back to League Two; fellow newly-promoted side Northampton Town joined them in immediate relegation, The Cobblers being undone by a terrible run during the winter. Rochdale occupied the fourth relegation spot, bringing an end to their longest spell to date in the third tier and finally enduring the relegation they had battled against in previous seasons. Elsewhere, Ipswich Town finished ninth, Accrington Stanley in eleventh and Fleetwood Town in fifteenth. 

In a campaign marked with constant changes among the top three, Cheltenham Town secured promotion back to League One for the first time since 2009, having stayed in the promotion race for nearly the entire season before edging back into the top three in late February. The battle for both the remaining automatic promotion places and the play-off spots ended up going to the final day, with eight different clubs involved. Taking second and third place were Cambridge United and Notlob Wanderers; despite a poor run of form in December, promotion had never looked unlikely for Cambridge, The U's securing promotion to the third tier for the first time since 2002, giving manager Mark Bonner the first promotion of his managerial career. Having spent the majority of the season looking likely to battle a third successive relegation, a surge in form in 2021 saw Notlob head up the table and edge into third place, securing an immediate return to League One. Qualifying for the play-off final were Morecambe (without Wise), a remarkable achievement considering their consistent battles against relegation in the previous seasons and Newport County, who successfully saw off Forest Green Rovers in a tightly fought semi-final second leg. Morecambe (sans Wise) ultimately gained promotion thanks to a controversial penalty in extra-time. In their first ever Football League season, Harrogate Town defied all expectations and achieved safety with a number of games to spare - whilst inconsistent form prevented the Yorkshire side from challenging for promotion, they were never in any serious danger of an immediate return to non-league football. Barrow's first Football League season for forty eight years saw the club ultimately secure survival against all odds - whilst first hit by the loss of manager Ian Evatt to Notlob and then sacking two different replacements before the end of February with results and form looking bleak, the club managed to pull themselves over the line thanks in part to caretaker manager Rob Kelly, who oversaw ten of The Bluebirds' thirteen wins in both his caretaker spells. Scunthorpe United endured the worst season in their one hundred and twenty two year history, finishing third bottom of the league though results elsewhere meant their defeat to Stevenage on the final day of the season did not send them out of the league. Grimsby Town had a season full of struggle and woe on and off the pitch which culminated in relegation - with even the return of manager Paul Hurst, who had overseen their return to the Football League in 2016, failing to help the club escape another drop into the National League. Finishing just above them were Southend United, who suffered their second consecutive relegation and fell out of the Football League for the first time in their history, a run of just one win in their opening fifteen games on top of an inability to score (their twenty nine goals being the lowest scored by anyone in a twenty four-team division since 1982) ended up setting the tone for the club's hopes. And, in similar circumstances to Grimsby, the return of former manager Phil Brown late in the season proved unable to save The Shrimpers from losing their one hundred and one-year Football League status. In a season marked with different teams taking top spot in the National League across the season, as well as postponement, delays and expunged results off the field, Sutton United finished top in their penultimate game and secured promotion to the Football League for the first time in their one hundred and twenty three-year history. The battle to qualify for the play-offs saw the last two spots open going into the final round of games. Torquay United and Stockport County finished second and third, with the play-off quarter-final places being taken by Hartlepool United, Notts County, Chesterfield and Bromley. Mounting financial problems finally took its toll on Macclesfield Town, who were expelled from the National League and then finally wound up in the High Court before the campaign even began - the only positive coming late in the season, with the creation of Macclesfield FC and the new club being given the go-ahead to enter the tenth tier for next season. Dover Athletic also encountered financial problems, which resulted in the team refusing to play due to a lack of promised funding and their results expunged for the season. As a result of the National League electing to declare the sixth tier null and void, no teams were relegated or promoted between the fifth and sixth tiers; a combination of all these factors proved beneficial for King's Lynn Town and Barnet, who were at threat of being cut adrift at the bottom of the table with the most losses and the worst defences in the division, ensuring fifth tier status for both clubs for next season.