Winners And Losers

Moscow Chelski's FA Cup final talisman Didier Drogba was the match-winner once more as they overcame the Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws to lift the trophy at Wembley. Drogba's goal early in the second half - his fourth in FA Cup finals - proved decisive as the remarkable turnaround in Moscow Chelski FC's fortunes under interim manager Roberto di Matteo was rewarded with silverware. Liverpool Alabam Yee-Haws goalkeeper Pepe Reina was badly at fault as Ramires scored at the near post after eleven minutes and Moscow Chelski FC looked in cruise control when Drogba continued his love affair with the FA Cup final and Wembley with an angled finish beyond Reina. The introduction of substitute thirty five million pound Andy Carroll sparked Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws into life and he pulled goal back just after the hour - and thought he had equalised as miserable sour-faced Kenny Dalglish's side laid siege to Moscow Chelski FC's goal in the closing stages. He met Luis Suarez's cross at the far post, only for Moscow Chelski keeper Petr Cech to show brilliant reflexes and deflect his header onto the bar. Carroll turned away to lead Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haw's insistent protests that the ball had crossed the line but referee Phil Dowd and his assistant, Andrew Garratt, waved play on, with even a succession of TV replays proving inconclusive. Moscow Chelski FC survived and can now turn their attentions to the Champions League final against Bayern Munich later this month as they face an increasingly arduous task to finish in the Premier League's top four. As Di Matteo celebrated and captain John Terry raised the trophy, the Italian increased his claims to become the permanent successor to Andre Villas-Boas by landing a trophy. For Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws, their season will now be regarded as a relative disappointment after failure to add the FA Cup to the Carling Cup and not mounting a challenge to reach the Champions League places. The final started with eighty five million smackers worth of striking talent on the bench as Carroll was a Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws substitute and Moscow Chelski's Fernando Torres missed out on a starting place against his former club. The Reds were on the back foot early on when a catalogue of defensive errors led to Ramires giving Moscow Chelski the lead. Jay Spearing conceded possession in midfield and Ramires escaped Jose Enrique far too easily before scoring at the near post with a shot Reina should have saved. Moscow Chelski FC were coping comfortably as Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws left Luis Suarez too isolated. Steven Gerrard was also being forced to drop too deep to offer support to the beleaguered Spearing and twenty million quid flop Jordan Henderson rather than add attacking potency alongside the Uruguayan.

Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws did have one moment of danger in the first half when Moscow Chelski FC failed to clear Glen Johnson's cross and Branislav Ivanovic blocked Craig Bellamy's goalbound shot. Moscow Chelski FC doubled their lead seven minutes after the restart, with the second coming from their most reliable source of Wembley goals. Frank Lampard escaped Spearing with ease and fed Drogba inside the area, who controlled before sending an angled left-foot finish across Reina. Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws introduced Carroll for Spearing and were rewarded after sixty four minutes when he put them back in contention. Stewart Downing blocked Jose Bosingwa's attempted clearance, which fell into the path of Carroll. He turned John Terry superbly before firing high past Cech. At last Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws had impetus and were getting the dangerous Suarez into threatening positions, allowing him to force Cech to save low to his right with an effort from the edge of the area. Carroll thought he had equalised with his header against the bar with eight minutes left. Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws claimed the ball had cross the line and Moscow Chelski FC were grateful for a miraculous intervention from Cech to turn his effort on to the woodwork. He was then denied by a magnificent tackle from captain Terry as Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws continued to press - but Moscow Chelski FC survived as the memories of the nightmare under Andre Villas-Boas faded even further into the background.

Sheikh Yer Man City moved to within touching distance of their first title for forty four years, as Yaya Toure scored twice to secure a crucial 2-0 victory over yer actual Keith Telly Topping brave and plucky beloved (but, still unsellable) Newcastle United. The Côte d'Ivoire midfielder beat Newcastle goalkeeper Tim Krul with a low curling shot with twenty minutes left. He then added a second from close range with five minutes left as City hit United on the break. Sheikh Yer Man City now know that victory over Queen's Park Strangers in their final match of the season next Sunday will secure the Premier League title. This was a fine display by City, inspired by Vincent Kompany's generalship, David Silva's prodigious work in midfield, stellar finishing by Toure and a workrate and ambition that glowed throughout the team. The omens must have given Roberto Mancini's men cause for hope and optimism before kick-off. It was at this ground on 11 May 1968 that City won 4-3 against Newcastle to clinch their last league title. Some forty four years on, history repeated itself as City moved to within three points of the prize that has eluded them for so long. While it was understandable that much of the attention focused on City, Newcastle were chasing a prize of their own. Arsenal's 3-3 draw with Norwich City had opened the door to Champions League qualification. It was fitting, then, that Sir Bobby Robson - the last manager to lead Newcastle into Europe's top club competition - had been immortalised before kick-off as the club unveiled a statue to honour his memory. But it was City who dominated the majority of the opening thirty minutes. Sharper to the ball, swifter to use it, City forced Tim Krul into action on a number of occasions. The Dutchman was forced to turn away low shots from both David Silva and Sergio Aguero, while Carlos Tevez went close with a curling free-kick. It took Newcastle half-an-hour to produce their first effort on goal, but more soon followed. Demba Ba fizzed a twenty five-yard shot over Joe Hart's crossbar. Moments later the Newcastle striker saw his goalbound shot blocked by Kompany after a clever run by Jonas Gutierrez. The ball ran to Hatem Ben Arfa but his low shot was brilliantly saved by Hart, low to his left. It was City, however, who had the best chance of the half shortly before the interval. The mercurial Silva broke clear down the left and cut the ball back to Gareth Barry near the penalty spot. The England midfielder's first shot was blocked by Fabricio Coloccini, while his second found a path to goal only for Davide Santon to clear off the line. City maintained their momentum after the restart with Tevez fired high and wide, before testing Krul from distance. As the half wore on Mancini's side were struggling to convert their lion's share of possession into clear-cut chances. Then came what proved to be an inspired substitution. Disgraceful leg-breaking thug Nigel De Jong replaced Nasri on the hour mark to allow Toure to push into a more advanced position behind Aguero and Tevez. The Ivorian made an instant impact in his new role. Collecting a neat lay-off from Aguero, he curled a wonderful curling shot beyond Krul's outstretched left hand to spark scenes of jubilation in the away end and on the City bench. It was the first goal Newcastle had conceded in four hundred and ninety seven minutes of football at St James' Park. City should have made sure of the result four minutes later when Silva lofted a delightful through-ball into the path of Aguero only for the Argentine to nudge his shot inches wide of the right-hand post when clean through on goal. Newcastle almost made City pay for their profligacy, when Ba and Papiss Cissé connected only for the latter to head high and wide from close range. Then, Aguero put Toure through on goal only for the City midfielder to slip at the crucial moment. Edin Dzeko turned a shot narrowly over the bar from the resulting corner. It didn't matter, though, when Toure made sure of the result and perhaps the title a minute from time, as he finished a typically swift City counter-attack with a close-range finish. Which was sad for all Toonies but at least, along with the vast majority of football supporters in the country, they had the great consolation of watching Alex Ferguson with a face like a smacked arse when her heard the Sheikh Yer Man City result before The Scum's game against Swansea. That was funny. Elsewhere, bloody useless Aston Villains couldn't even do Newcastle a favour by beating ten-man Stottingtot Hotshots, whilst five minutes at the end of two matches could have a dramatic impact on the relegation battle as hothead nutter Djibril Cissé's last minute winner for Queen's Park Strangers over Stoke and James Morrison's last minute equaliser for West Bromwich Albinos at Notlob put the Lancashire club on the brink of the drop. In the day's other game, which hardly anybody was interested in Poor Bloody Fulham Haven't Got A Chance beat The Mackems 2-1.

Papiss Topples The Roman Empire

Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle United moved within one point of third-placed Arsenal with a remarkable 2-0 win over Moscow Chelski FC. Papiss Demba Cissé opened the scoring at Torpedo Stamford Bridge on Wednesday night by rifling a stunning left-footed volley into the top corner midway through the first half. That goal was a corker but the Senegalese striker's second, and thirteenth in twelve games, was one of the goals of the season - curling from the left flank with the outside of his boot over the helpless frame of Petr Cech. For Alan Pardew, it was not only a welcome response to The Magpies shockingly poor 4-0 loss at Wigan Not-Very-Athletic on Saturday but also his first win in London since arriving at Tyneside in December 2010. The injured Danny Simpson, who had previously not missed a single Magpies match this season, was replaced with the adaptable utility man James Perch in the only change to Alan Pardew's side. The game began with Moscow Chelski on the front foot. Fernando Torres was looking confident after his hat-trick against Queen's Park Strangers on Sunday, and crossed intricately for Daniel Sturridge after ten minutes who scuffed the strike on his favoured foot. The Magpies fought their way back into the match, however, and went ahead on nineteen minutes. Left-back Davide Santon cut inside from the wing and passed to Cissé on the edge of the Moscow Chelski area. Cissé chipped the ball up with his first touch then sweetly struck home with his second. The Blues were subdued in their response but, with nine minutes left until the break, burst into action. Florent Malouda skimmed a header across Krul’s goalmouth from a Torres cross then a minute later Branislav Ivanovic nodded over from a corner. At the other end, Demba Ba would have ended his barren spell if not for Cech's stretched save with one minute until half-time. The Newcastle striker then thundered an attempt off the crossbar from a subsequent corner. Bringing on Juan Mata for Sturridge was Roberto Di Matteo's solution to the one-goal deficit, and the Spanish substitute whipped in a couple of free-kicks from the flanks but the threat on Tim Krul's goal remained minimal. Cheick Tioté took a heavy blow to the head on the halfway line in an aerial challenge with Jon Obi Mikel (in which Mikel appeared to lead with the elbow) and had to be stretchered off with an oxygen mask after several minutes of treatment on the pitch. Moscow Chelski veterans Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard came on after Tioté's nasty injury as Di Matteo chased an equaliser. Drogba had his first crack on goal from a thirty five-yard free-kick which nearly knocked Krul off his feet as the Dutch keeper caught it on seventy six minutes. Lampard had his turn with nine minutes left of normal time but from the experienced midfielder skewed wide. The hosts continued to flood forward and skipper John Terry thought he had scored from one of several corners being poured into the visiting box, but Santon cleared off the line. Ten minutes of stoppage time were signalled because of the Tioté injury, and the home side were the team in the ascendancy. However, Cissé's extraordinary second goal from absolutely nowhere four minutes into added time silenced any Moscow Chelski comeback and, frankly, shut the cockney chancers in the crowd right up and sent them scurrying for the exits and their jellied eels and pints of weak lager with a lemonade top. Pfft. Girls drink. Anyway, Newcastle's ten million quid January signing took the breath away from most of the stadium with an outrageous shot from thirty yards on the left wing, ensuring he gave the Tyneside club their first league triumph at the West London ground since 1986. United remain in fourth place in the league after Notlob's capitulation at home to Stottingtot Hotshots. Happy Harry's lads won 4-1, which will, presumably, have put a bit of smile on his miserable mush after 'The People's Choice' was overlooked in favour of the - massively more qualified - Roy Hodgson for the England job. Much to the gurning and gnashing of teeth of many of Redknapp's odious, brown-tongued cheerleaders in Fleet Street and at Sky Sports. Newcastle's next match is against Championship-chasing Sheikh Yer Man City FC on Saturday at St James' Park. Moscow Chelski FC, meanwhile, have a date at Wembley on Saturday against The Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws in the Russian FA Cup.

The Football Association have, apparently contacted the Sun and - rightly - protested at that paper's front page on Tuesday mocking Roy Hodgson's speech impediment is 'unacceptable'. Like I say, quite right too. Although it's probably worth asking where, was the FA and their sense of unacceptability, on 19 April 1989? Just wondering. This week's casually offensive excuse for a story in the Sun has led to more than one hundred complaints to the Press Complaints Commission. News International has not made any comment. Probably too busy working out if they can pin it on a single 'rogue' reporter and then stick to that story for four years. A spokesman for the Press Complaints Commission said: 'I can confirm we have had over a hundred complaints.' The FA said it had also received a 'large number of objections' to the story about the current West Bromwich Albino manager. FA chairman David Bernstein said: 'We are delighted at the media response to Roy's appointment but are disappointed with the headline in the Sun, which we consider is in poor taste and disrespectful.' The game's governing body will not be making an official complaint to the PCC but said it had raised the issue with the newspaper and 'made it clear' the organisation found the front page unacceptable. Justice for the Ninety Six.

Not So Happy Now, Harry?

Roy Hodgson has been appointed England manager on a four-year contract. Which is not only good - he's an excellent coach with a very impressive track record of managing at the highest level internationally and in any other country that wasn't so absurdly parochial, he'd've been the national team coach years ago - but, also, hilarious funny as well. Take, of instance, the BBC's Dan Roan who on the Ten O'Clock News on Sunday evening ridiculously claimed that Hodgson - a man who has, let's remember, managed Internazionale twice - has only had 'one high profile job, Liverpool.' This blogger is also hugely impressed with the way that the Sun has already started it's campaign of hated towards Hodgson with Tuesday's headline, mocking his speech impediment. One is sure, of course, that all of their mothers are all really proud of them. I mean, they work for single 'rouge' reporter phone-hacking News International, for a kick-off, what's not to love? (The Sun, of course, has plenty of previous form when it comes to England coaches. Gentle humour is often kicked aside in favour of outright hostility. Affection quickly turns into nasty character assassination. Kevin Keegan, a previous example of 'the People's Choice' was given a torrid time following an initial honeymoon period when he held the post. Even 'national treasure' Bobby Robson was the subject of near enough eight years of vile and obnoxious, highly personal, negative coverage when he was England boss. Note that the Sun also calls Hodgson 'a shock choice.' This is journalistic code for rank hubris - the paper not only didn't get its own choice - Harry Redknapp was 'sensationally spurned' it said the day before - but it also didn't sniff out the real story. The paper's leader, Good luck, Roy, points out that Hodgson 'wasn't the nation's choice' - meaning, he wasn't a few journalist at the Sun's choice - but 'we can't blame him for not being 'Arry.' Even though, one senses, they will if things don't go well at the Euros. So, it offers Hodgson some crass faint praise: '[England] need a no-nonsense English boss with motivational and communication skills. Roy has both. We're not betting the farm on England winning the Euros. But Roy may still surprise us ... and good luck to him.') The West Bromwich Albino boss succeeds Fabio Capello after talks with the Football Association on Monday and Tuesday. He will remain in charge of The Baggies for their last two games of the Premier League season. The sixty four-year-old will lead his country after managing eighteen teams, including three national sides, during a coaching career spanning thirty six years. Hodgson's contract at West Brom runs out on 30 June but the Premier League club said they have agreed to release him after their final game of the season on 13 May so he can prepare for Euro 2012. England have two friendlies, at Norway on 26 May and home to Belgium on 2 June, before their first match in the tournament in Poland and Ukraine against France on 11 June. The Football Association said in a statement it was 'delighted' to announce the appointment of Hodgson, whose contract also covers the 2014 World Cup and Euro 2016. 'Hodgson has won a total of eight league titles in a distinguished career, and coached the national teams of Switzerland, Finland and the United Arab Emirates,' it added. 'Along with his vast experience of international and European football, Hodgson is the only English manager currently working in the top flight to have won the League Managers' Association Manager of the Year award.' The FA announced on Sunday it had approached Hodgson for the job despite widepsread speculation linking Stottingtot Hotshots boss Now-Not-So-Happy Harry Redknapp with the vacancy after Capello quit in February. Redknapp was, allegedly, 'The People's Choice' although, as a fully paid up member of 'the people' this blogger doesn't recall ever been asked about this. In fact, I don't know where this idea that Redknapp is 'The People's Choice' comes from. Oh, no, hang on, yes I do. It comes from a bunch of odious, arse-licking journalists in Fleet Street and Sky Sports who couldn't wait to hold a coronation for their mate Happy Harry. Scum like the Daily Lies thoroughly odious brown-tongue-rimming Brian Woolnough, the cheerleader-in-chief for Redknapp, and the Torygraph's Paul Heyward who, six weeks ago on Soccer Supplement boldly claimed that the FA had 'a shortlist of one, and it's Harry Redknapp.' Frankly, anything that makes clowns like those - and plenty of others (the Scum Mail's Martin Samuels, for one) - look small, clueless and insignificant, is to be celebrated. Loudly. Hodgson guided Switzerland to the 1994 World Cup and the side achieved a FIFA ranking of third in the world as they qualified for Euro 1996. His former clubs include, as mentioned, Inter Milan, Blackburn Rovers, Grasshoppers of Zurich, FC Copenhagen, Fulham (whom he took to a UEFA Cup final just three years ago) and Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws. He has also managed successfully in Norway and Sweden, and been a member of FFIA and UEFA's technical study groups at tournaments. Hodgson leaves West Brom after fifteen months at the club. Chairman Jeremy Peace said: 'We did not want Roy to leave and he will be a tough act to follow. But we understand Roy's desire to take the England job and he will leave us after the Arsenal game on 13 May with our best wishes. Of course, with Euro 2012 around the corner, we appreciate that some of Roy's focus over the next twelve days will be on England matters. But we are delighted he will be seeing the season out with us. The board will now concentrate on the important task of appointing a new head coach to continue our project as we prepare for a third successive season in the Premier League.' BBC presenter and former England striker Gary Lineker, who'd already said on Twitter than he felt Redknapp was 'the best man for the job', claims now that Hodgson is 'a solid choice' who has the experience to get the best out of a team. He said: 'I think Roy is a safe pair of hands, I think the FA would have recognised that. He's a very likeable guy, very authoritative and very knowledgeable about the game. He clearly has bags of experience, all over the world and at all sorts of levels of football. He has tactical nous and he understands how to get the best out of his team and players. He has enjoyed mixed success at various clubs. He has done a terrific job at West Brom, did excellently at Fulham where he led them to a European final, yet it did not quite happen for him at Liverpool and way back at Blackburn.' Sir Geoff Hurst feels Hodgson is well qualified but that Redknapp was the 'outstanding candidate' for the national job. Exactly why he feels this, since Redknapp has no international experience and had only one FA Cup victory in his trophy cabinet (whilst manager of Portsmouth) he doesn't make clear. Hurst, who scored a hat-trick as England beat West Germany in the 1966 World Cup final (and, has lived off the reputation ever since), said: 'I thought Harry was probably the outstanding candidate at the time because he has had success with Tottenham at a higher level. Roy has managed in the Europa League and also at international level, which is also good experience, but what Harry has achieved at Spurs in the last three or four years as been quite remarkable.' Has it? What's he done, exactly? What's he won? Meanwhile, check out New Staesman's Ten Things You Need To Know About Roy Hodgson. I particularly like number ten, myself.

Roy Of The Rovers

Roy Hodgson is set to start talks with the Football Association on Monday and is expected to be appointed England manager within days. The FA says that the West Bromwich Albino manager, sixty four, is 'the only person it has approached' about succeeding Fabio Capello. He has already spoken with FA chairman David Bernstein and will meet with the four-man panel. Roy said he would 'be delighted' to manage England, in a BBC Sport interview before the FA's approach. Hodgson has extensive international experience, having managed Switzerland, United Arab Emirates and Finland, and domestic teams in Sweden, Italy (including Internazionale) and England. Of course, that didn't stop Dan Roan on BBC News suggesting that Hodgson's only 'high profile' job had been at Liverpool, where he had something of a torrid time (although, arguably, his record is about the same as current Alabama Yee-Haws manager Kenny Dalglish over a similar period). Because, of course, managing Inter Milan isn't 'high profile' is it? The parochialism of this country's football media is almost as astonishing as the parochialism of this country's football supporters. Bernstein said: 'Roy is the only manager we have approached and we remain on course to make an appointment within the timescale we set out.' The four-man panel which will decide who takes over from Capello are Bernstein, FA general secretary Alex Horne, FA director of football development Sir Trevor Brooking and managing director of Club England Adrian Bevington. Bernstein approached West Brom on Saturday and was given permission to speak to Hodgson, who is likely to be appointed on a long-term basis. It is expected any contract will cover the three tournaments up to and including Euro 2016, at which point he will be two months short of his sixty ninth birthday. Hodgson's contract with West Brom ends on 30 June. Stottingtot Hotshots boss Happy Harry Redknapp had been heavily linked with the job ever since Capello left the post in February, indeed every football journalist worth his salt had been lining up on Sky's Soccer Supplement on Sunday mornings for the last two months to give Happy Hapless Harry's ringpiece a reet good rimming and inform viewers that the FA had a shortlist of one and Happy Harry was on it. (The Torygraph's Paul Heyward used those exact words just six weeks ago.) One or two of those will, no doubt, be feeling rather stupid today. That's if football journalists don't feel stupid most of the time, of course. Indeed, the amount of egg on various faces in Fleet Street and at Sky Sports News itself (another regular Redknapp cheerleader) who'd all but given him the job twenty seconds after he walked out of court two months ago after beating a fraud charge must be half the gross annual produce of Norfolk. I think it's hilarious, personally. The FA has decided to discuss the position with Hodgson, who has previous international experience from his time in charge of Switzerland, United Arab Emirates and Finland. In total, he has managed eighteen teams either at domestic or international level, including two spells as Inter Milan boss. Former FA chief executive Mark Palios does not believe the talks with Hodgson necessarily rule out a move for Redknapp. He said the FA is 'under pressure' to 'do something' about the vacant job with Euro 2012 a matter of weeks away. 'Hodgson is a candidate they would naturally speak to,' he told the BBC. 'West Bromwich Albion's season is settled and they are now safe. But this doesn't mean to say there aren't other people they would approach.' Hodgson, who had a disappointing time at Liverpool last season, has steered West Brom to mid-table in the Premier League. Prior to the Liverpool job, he took a very average Fulham side to the final of the UEFA Cup. He also managed Blackburn Rovers for two seasons (also getting them into Europe in the first year). Albino chairman Jeremy Peace remains hopeful he will stay on at the Hawthorns. Peace said: 'Roy has done a fantastic job over the past fifteen months and the fact that the FA wants to discuss the England role with him is testament to that. Roy is a proud Englishman and we can understand why he wants to speak to the FA about this highly prestigious managerial position. However, we have emphasised to Roy how much we would like him to remain as our head coach and continue his major contribution to our project at the Hawthorns as we look to establish ourselves as a Premier League club. Everyone here has an excellent working relationship with him and he is immensely popular with our supporters.' England have two fixtures before their Euro 2012 opener against France on 11 June, with friendlies planned against Norway on 26 May and Belgium on 2 June. Stuart Pearce - who is in charge of both the England Under-Twenty One squad and the Team GB Olympic set-up - is currently in temporary control of the national side and oversaw a 3-2 friendly defeat by the Netherlands at Wembley last month. Pearce said he 'would be prepared' to lead the team into Euro 2012 and stated earlier this week that he could name the squad on or around 10 May if no new manager was in place by that date. Hapless Happy Harry his very self has, reportedly 'wished Roy Hodgson well' after the Football Association approached the West Brom manager for the England role. The Hotshots boss also said he did not 'hold any grudges' at being overlooked.

'A good man is just about to take on the Impossible Job.' That was the conclusion of the Daily Torygraph's Henry Winter in writing about the Football Association's decision to offer the England football manager's job to Roy Hodgson. The reason was made abundantly clear in the coverage in other national papers on Monday morning. As Winter noted, they were declaring Hodgson 'a failure before he's even been appointed.' A couple of editors registered their surprise - and, implied criticism - in front page headlines: Hod choice for England (Daily Mirra), What are the Hods on that? (the Sun) and Forget 'Arry, it's Roy in the frame for England (the Daily Lies). In the sports pages, the boot really went in. Reminding readers of Hodgson's brief and unhappy stewardship of Liverpool, the Daily Scum Mail's main headline said: Kop flop Roy is FA's choice. The Mirra was critical too: Oh why, oh why, oh Woy? This reflected the widespread bafflement - amongst various sport writers, if not the actual general public - that the media's favourite, Harry Redknapp, had been overlooked. The general view from almost every football commentator was that Hodgson was little more than a safe and uninspiring choice. They included the Sun's Steven Howard, 'After Fab ... the drab', the Scum Mail's odious fat lout Martin Samuel (Is this a job for Mr Average?) and the Daily Scum Express's John Dillon, 'Little joy in a chase for Roy Hodgson.' The biggest Redknapp cheerleader of the lot, the thoroughly full of his own importance Brian Woolnough in the Daily Lies predicted that the FA would suffer a backlash from fans. 'He is a safe pair of hands rather than the "character" England needed,' he wrote. The word 'safe' can be found in almost every reaction - as though that is, in and of itself, a bad thing. Daniel Taylor in the Gruniad thought Hodgson 'a safe option, a mid-table manager whose best work in England has been done at two relatively small clubs in Fulham and West Bromwich Albion.' In the Independent, Musa Okwonga thought Hodgson's appointment has infuriated 'people' (though he didn't say, exactly, which people) 'because it shows us what we really are: we are outsiders, peering up at football's elite.' So a pragmatic choice makes sense. Tony Evans, The Times's football editor, was wholly unimpressed by the appointment of a man 'whose bathroom cabinet is bigger than his trophy cabinet.' It was 'a retrograde step,' Evans wrote and then had the gall to add: 'It is unfair to pillory Hodgson.' You mean, like what you've just done you odious tosser? In what is clearly a self-fulfilling prophesy Evans concluded that Hodgson 'will become the focus of public criticism very quickly.' Hell hath no fury, it seems, like a football journalist who's back the wrong horse. Amid the negativity, it was a pleasure to read the piece by Winter's only real rival for the best jobbing football journo, Oliver Holt in the Mirra: Don't destroy Roy: why Hodgson deserves better than to be written off before he's even got the England job. He accepted that Hodgson, unlike Redknapp, he lacks 'the common touch', nor does he have the charisma of Martin O'Neill. But, wrote Holt, 'he is tactically astute, he is a clever coach and he is well-respected throughout the game. What he will need to overcome is the inverted snobbery that will be aimed at him by some because he's a cerebral manager.'

Going Fourth And Multiplying

Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though, still unsellable) Newcastle United continued their charge towards Champions League qualification with a convincing Premier League victory over a woefully poor Stoke City side. Yohan Cabaye nodded The Magpies ahead from close range before Papiss Demba Cissé slid in the Frenchman's exquisite pass. Cabaye sealed victory with a glorious curling twenty-yard strike as The Black and Whites climbed into the top four at the expense of Happy Harry's Hapless Stottingtot Hotshots, who lost 1-0 at QPR. Newcastle were eleven points adrift of yer actual Spurs following their 5-0 mauling at the hands of the North London club in early February. But a sixth successive Premier League win (combined with a run of just one win in ten for Tottenham, and 'England's next manager', remember) has put them on the cusp of European football next season. They have surged fifteen points clear of seventh-placed Everton, who have five games left to play. If Everton don't win at The Scum on Sunday afternoon, United's return to European competition for the first time since 2007 will be confirmed. The top six are assured of continental competition and after making a statement of intent against Stoke, it would take a dramatic collapse for Newcastle to surrender their place. Two of their final four games include a trip to Moscow Chelski FC, one of their rivals for a top-four finish, and a home match against title-chasing Sheikh Yer Man City as they aim to clinch Champions League qualification for the first time since 2003. Newcastle have put themselves within touching distance after a fantastic run which has been spearheaded by the goals of Senegal striker Cissé. The twenty six-year-old has proved a revelation since his ten million notes move from Freiburg, with eleven goals in ten matches hauling Newcastle above Spurs, who went down to Adel Taarabt's goal in Saturday's late kick-off at Loftus Road. Maverick French winger Hatem Ben Arfa has also taken plenty of plaudits recently and he was the architect of the opening goal with some superb trickery on the left touchline. He skipped past Marc Wilson before clipping a delicious cross into the Stoke danger zone, where Cissé's sharp movement allowed him to escape his marker, lumbering oaf Robert Huth, and send a far-post header crashing against the crossbar. And Cabaye was waiting to pounce on the rebound with a close range header. The midfielder turned provider moments later, his quite exquisite reverse pass perfectly weighted into the path of Cissé who raced on to and slide the ball past Stoke keeper Asmir Begovic. Cabaye pulled all the strings in a dominant performance and capped a majestic individual display with a sumptuous first-time finish into the far corner for his second goal of the afternoon and fifth of the season. Newcastle had failed to penetrate a typically organised Stoke backline in the opening stages but, once Cabaye and then Cissé breached their defence, Newcastle oozed confidence and controlled the game with a swagger expected of a top-four team. In the end, they won at a canter and could have had more goals with Demba Ba and Fabricio Coloccini missing decent chances and Cissé having another goal chalked out for a marginal (but correct) offside flag. It could have been very different had Stoke striker Jonathan Walters not spooned Peter Crouch's knockdown high over the bar when well positioned in the game's first opportunity. But chances were rare for the lowest scorers in the Premier League against a mean Newcastle defence which claimed a fourth straight clean sheet and has conceded just one goal in their six game winning run. Former United icon Alan Shearer said: 'Tremendous credit to Alan Pardew. It's not as if Newcastle have been digging results out -they're putting in very good performances. I wouldn't say Chelsea are gone in the Champions League race but you would have to say the form team are Newcastle.' Pardew himself said: 'The Champions League is really a possibility. We're not going to hide from that or make some stupid clichés [or, indeed, Cissé's] about we're not going to do it. We're right in there and we go to Wigan, that's going to be a tough game. We will see where we are then. I know a result like this today will pipe through to the Tottenham dressing room and put pressure on them. There's no pressure on us - we're just bobbling along. Our quality really shone through - some great goals and great interplay. There's a lot of confidence in the dressing room, we've got a really nice feeling in there and you can see that on the pitch.'

Meanwhile, an early front-runner for the comedy line of the week came from the thoroughly odious and full-of-his-own-importance tossface Brian Woolnaugh on Sky Sports's Soccer Supplement on Sunday morning. 'So, Newcastle are flying,' said the odious Daily Lies journalist (allegedly) after a curiously dismissive five minute assessment of the job Alan Pardew's done (but, not before he and his three journalist mates had spent twice as long talking about yer actual Sotttingtot Hotshots current woes). 'But, undoubtedly, the team of the week are Chelsea.' Well, yeah. Course. They might only be sixth in the league, but heaven help some Northern chancers blundering in and buggering up Woolnough's opportunity to give some London-based team's collective ringpiece a right good hard lick, you risible brown-tongued louse. What's happened to your love affair with Happy Harry, anyway? One win in ten games for 'England's next manager' and, suddenly, it's 'Oooo, Roberto, you eeees the one for me. "Blue is the colour, football is the game..."' Twat.

The Thieving Magpies Drown The Swans

It was a pure classic example of an age-old football truism. All of the possession in the world is bog-all use to man nor beast if you don't stick the ball in the net. Wearing the number nine shirt at yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though, still unsellable) Newcastle United would weigh heavily on many shoulders but Papiss Dema Cissé appears to be positively liberated by the famous jersey he's wearing. On another hugely satisfying day for Alan Pardew, the ten million knicker signing from Freiburg in January again scored twice to take his tally to a remarkable nine goals in just eight Premier League appearances. United picked up a fourth successive top-flight victory for the first time in six years to keep alive their hopes of qualifying for the Champions League. The Magpies strengthened their surprise Champions League push with a superb win at Swansea City thanks to another clinical Cissé double. The in-form striker from Dakar cracked the Magpies into an early lead as he raced onto Yohan Cabaye's pass to fire past The Swans keeper Michel Vorm from twenty yards. Swansea then proceeded to dominate possession for most of the rest of the match - Brendan Rodgers' attractive side knocking the ball around beautifully. Comfortable in possession, whole periods of the game seemed to fly by as The Swans stroked the ball around patiently building from the back. At times it was a joy to watch, although if there was one frustration for the home supporters it was that Tim Krul, the Newcastle goalkeeper, had only one save of note to make in the entire first half - and only about two others not of note either. And, he didn't have much more to do after the break. Several promising Swansea moves petered out as a result of a stray final ball and solid defending from United's makeshift back four - still, remember, without Coloccini and Steve Taylor. The save Krul made was an impressive one, Gylfi Sigurdsson's dipping right-footed shot, after the lively Joe Allen had spotted the Icelandic midfielder in space twenty five yards from goal, spectacularly turned around the post by the young Dutch keeper. But Newcastle showed them how to do the penetration thing as Hatem Ben Arfa, Cayabe and Cissé combined to seal a smash-and-grab win on the hour. Cissé exquisitely chipped Vorm from inside the box to celebrate a third successive brace. A fourth win in a row for Newcastle ensured Alan Pardew's side leapfrog Moscow Chelski FC into fifth place in the Premiership and are now just two points behind Stottingtot Hotshots and The Arse, who occupy the last two Champions League places. Pardew has done a very good job of managing expectations and keeping supporters' feet on the floor. But, Pardew's men seem to have hit form at just the right time with six games remaining. If Newcastle do make it back into European competition it will be for the first time since the 2006-07 season. And while Cissé will enjoy all of the headlines, the resolute Magpies defence and hard-working midfield - including a superb performance from Jonás Gutiérrez playing out of position in the middle - ensured their first every Premier League win on a Friday. Swansea, meanwhile, have now lost three league games in a row for the first time since losing to York, Bury and Lincoln in Division Three in January 2003. Krul was rarely tested although Sigurdsson, the recently-crowned Premier League Player of the Month for March, should have done so in the opening two minutes. But after Nathan Dyer's had cut in from the right and set up the Icelandic international, Sigurdsson could only drag his shot tamely across Krul's goal. The hosts were immediately punished as the Cissé capitalised on some generous Swansea marking to fire Newcastle into a fifth minute lead. The Senegalese striker lost his marker, sped onto Cabaye's lovely one-touch through-pass and fired past Vorm from twenty yards. Cissé took advantage of the space that opened up between Ashley Williams and Steven Caulker, the Swansea central defenders, before spearing a low shot across Vorm. Cissé, who started as a lone centre forward but interchanged with Demba Ba on the left flank in a 4-4-1-1 formation which saw Cabaye deployed just off the main striker, threatened to add a second twelve minutes later but Caulker, after initially looking like he had allowed the striker to get the better of him, managed to get in a block. Newcastle's threat, however, was largely confined to the counterattack, as Swansea, as we have seen on many other occasions this season, dominated possession with their neat passing and fluid movement. But, they couldn't score. Sigurdsson, as mentioned, stung the hands of Krul with his fierce twenty five-yard drive and he also had a shot blocked by Davide Santon and a weak thirty-yard free-kick which was easily collected by the Newcastle keeper. Rodgers had rested his leading scorers, Danny Graham and Scott Sinclair, who had scored seventeen of Swansea's thirty five league goals this season, as the Swans struggled to penetrate. After a deflected Joe Allen twenty five-yard effort was beaten away by Krul, Rodgers unleashed Graham and Sinclair early in the second half. But Sinclair had just showed a glimpse of his ability by jinking into the box and firing a goal-bound shot at Ryan Taylor, when Cissé ended Swansea's hopes.

Black and White and Red All Over

Scowling, sour-faced, dour and miserable Scotsman yer actual Kenny Dalglish had reason to be especially scowling sour-faced dour and miserable as his Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws side were outplayed, outclassed and outfought by yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (thought still unsellable) Magpies at the artist formerly known as St James' Park. And, truly, this was glorious in yer actual Keith Telly Topping's sight, so it was. On the other hand it was all smiles for the locals among a sell-out crowd of fifty two thousand three hundred and sixty three punters as Alan Pardew celebrated a repeat of his first game in charge of United with another win over Liverpool. A thoroughly entertaining, drama-packed game ended in a victory for Newcastle over The Scowling Reds 2-0, with two quality strikes from Papiss Demba Cissé either side of half-time - the Senegalese striker's sixth and seventh goals in just seven appearances in English football for the Black and Whites. Liverpool also had their goalkeeper, Pepe Reina, sent to the stands after the Spaniard tried to stick the nut on James Perch late in the game. And totally failed. Which, actually, made it even funnier. The game ended with delirious United fans chanting 'you're getting sacked in the morning' to the hapless former Toon manager scowling sour-faced, dour and miserable Dalglish whose side have now lost six of their last seven games. Trust me when I tell you, dear blog reader, they've loved it. Loved it. It also was a thoroughly rotten day for Liverpool's three former Magpies. Firstly there was José Enrique Sánchez - still unforgiven on Tyneside where he had previously been something of a cult figure, for a series of rather unwise comments which he made on Twitter after he left United in the summer. (In case you missed them, they were: 'The club is allowing all the major players of the team to go. Seriously, do you think it is the fault of the players? This club will never again fight to be among the top six again with this policy.' The fact that, as the game started United were, actually, sixth, and Liverpool weren't, merely added to the irony.) Enrique was, therefore, booed all afternoon, subjected to chants of 'Jose Enrique/we're in the Top Six!' and 'we're in the Top Six, we're in the Top Six/you're not, you're not!' and ended the game playing in goal after Reina's thigh-slippingly funny dismissal. Andy Carroll - whom Liverpool, remember, had paid The Toon thirty five million quid for just over a year ago and now looks incapable of hitting a barn door at six feet - was also booed all afternoon, booked for a ludicrous dive in the first half in an attempt to win a penalty and get Tim Krul sent off when it would have been easier for him to score, subjected to very amusing chants of 'what a waste of money' and appeared angry and frustrated when he was withdrawn by scowling, sour-faced Dalglish fifteen minutes from time - also had a time rotten time of it. Carroll, reportedly, left 'looking close to tears [and] mouthing obscenities towards Dalglish.' Well, according to the Torygraph, anyway. One would suggest anybody who's likely to be out on the razz in The Bigg Market tonight should beware in case any glasses, you know, 'accidentally slip out of someone's hand.' It appeared an agonising experience for the two players who had left Newcastle to join an, allegedly, 'bigger club' in 2011. Enrique was tortured all afternoon by Hatem Ben Arfa whilst Carroll just looked like he was being tortured by the whole experience, failing to take two good chances in the first half, his every touch booed and jeered by 'his people.' Finally, Craig Bellamy was also booed all afternoon. Because he's a nasty, mouthy little bugger and nobody likes him very much. So, no change there then. To the - much - more important stuff, Cissé headed in Hatem Ben Arfa's pinpoint cross in a first-half in which Liverpool had plenty of the ball but where Tim Krul hardly had a shot to save, before the same player tapped in from Demba Ba's centre shortly after the break. A piss poor afternoon for the visitors in the Tyneside sunshine was made just that little bit worse when Reina saw red. Although James Perch - who had a superb afternoon otherwise, helping to shackle Carroll along with Man of the Match Mike Williamson - will probably have had harder impacts on his face from his pillow than from Reina's bald heed. Perch had impeded the Spaniard as he collected a Williamson header from a corner and was booked for this, rightly. But when Reina squared up to the Newcastle defender, leading with his head, referee Martin The Card Atkinson had little choice but to send the keeper off. Well, no, that's wrong. He clearly did have a choice, but he chose not to exercise it. The crowd laughed. And laughed. And laughed until they stopped. And then, they laughed some more. It was that sort of afternoon, frankly. Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws have now lost six of their last seven league games, their worst run in many, many years and cause for much celebration around the rest of the country. For, such is the totally high regard with which scowling, sour-faced, dour and miserable Dalglish and his team are held by other football fans. As they trooped off at the end, well beaten and with their tails between their legs, it was a moment befitting the recent woeful run for Dalglish's side whilst for the hosts, the victory was a tangible reward during a season of remarkable revolution for Pardew's side who have punched hugely above their weight all year. It just goes to show, Jose, does it not? A little bit of hard work and devleoping a team spirit shorn of mouthy primadonas can, actually, go a very long way. The win leaves United in sixth place in the Premiership, level on points (fifty three) with fifth place Moscow Chelski FC. And ten points ahead of eighth placed Everton. Liverpool - 'a top four club' in their own heads, at least according to their ludicrous managing director, Ian Ayre - are in ninth place on forty two points, one behind their local rivals, the Toffeemen, whilst Blunderland are breathing down their necks in tenth with forty points.

If It's Sunday, United Must Be On The Telly

Papiss Demba Cisse scored twice as yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though still unsellable) Magpies delivered a first-half masterclass in a 3-1 win over the West Bromwich Albinos on Sunday that maintained United's push for a European finish. Newcastle produced an excellent attacking performance to beat The Baggies at The Hawthorns and move level on points with fifth-placed Moscow Chelski FC. The Senegal striker finished off well-worked moves either side of a solo effort by French playmaker Hatem Ben Arfa, virtually securing victory for Newcastle by the thirty fourth minute. West Brom improved after the break, with substitute Shane Long reducing the deficit in the fifty second minute after a defensive mix-up in which Mike Williamson looked like a right plank when he collided with Tim Krul. But, Newcastle held on to move level on points with fifth-place Moscow Chelski with eight matches of the season left. Stottingtot Hotshots are five points ahead in fourth, The Liverpool Yee-Haw Alabamans eight points being The Toon in seventh. Cisse has now scored five goals in six matches since joining United from Freiburg in January. The tone was set as early as the fifth minute when Cisse's cross was only half cleared by Liam Ridgewell to Demba Ba, whose volley into the ground was tipped over the crossbar by Ben Foster. Within a minute the Magpies were ahead. Jonas Gutierrez slid possession out to the unmarked Ben Arfa, wide on the left and his cross was clinically converted by Cisse, who was marginally onside despite appeals from the Baggies defence and howls of derision from their more numskull supporters. You know, like Adrian Chiles, fr instance. By the twelfth minute it was two thanks to a counter-attacking masterclass from the Magpies. Starting on the edge of his own area, Ben Arfa played a neat one-two with Yohan Cabaye and then exchanged passes with Cisse to leave him deep in Baggies territory. Then, shaping on to his left foot, he cut in from the right channel before unleashing a spanker of a left foot shot into the far corner of Foster's net. James Morrison and Marc-Antoine Fortune both spurned chances as the Baggies attempted to gain a foothold in the contest, however any prospect of a comeback was more-or-less dismissed by Alan Pardew's team's third in the thirty fourth minute. Once again, it occurred with all of the brute force of a savage slap across the chops in terms of counter-attacking. Ben Arfa was, again, at its core, releasing Ba down the left with a perfectly-weighted pass. The Frenchman continued his run beyond the Senegal striker, who released him with a cute backheel, before his cross was swept home by Cisse. Chris Foy's half-time whistle was, unsurprisingly, greeted with discord from the sour-faced home crowd, while a double substitution by Hodgson, replacing Keith Andrews and Jerome Thomas with Shane Long and Chris Brunt, hardly came as a shock. United were also forced into a half-time change, Fabricio Coloccini suffering a hamstring injury late in the first half. He was replaced by Davide Santon with James Perch moving inside to partner Williamson at the centre. An untimely slip from Billy Jones presented Cisse with a one-on-one duel with Foster for his hat-trick, but the goalkeeper prevailed, standing tall to block with his body. The home side created a chink of light for themselves in the fifty second minute when Long reduced the deficit. Tim Krul darted off his line to deal with a flighted ball but Williamson, panicked under pressure from Peter Odemwingie and diverted it into the Irishman's path to leave him with an empty net. Which, of course, was queue for the locals to go mental and start beating their chests and chunter on about how they were gonna do this and that and the other. In the event, they did none of the above. Long's energy certainly provided the Baggies with fresh impetus, yet with their onus now on the offensive, it left them vulnerable to counter-attacks and, after another delicious dribble, Ben Arfa forced a fine Foster save. The comeback ended there, however, as a combination of stoppages for injuries and resolute Newcastle defending halted Roy Hodgson's side's momentum, leaving the travelling Toon Army to toast a hugely impressive display from their side. It has been a memorable season for the Magpies so far - despite a feeling that they've rather punched above their weight - and on this evidence they certainly remain capable of challenging for a top-six finish. Key to their chances are the attacking trio of Ben Arfa, Cisse and Demba Ba - none of whom West Brom could live with early on. The Baggies are now without a win in three matches but remain eleven points clear of the relegation zone in fourteenth.

Like a sinister, cat-stroking, vile and odious Bond villain intent on total world domination, Mike Ashley has seemingly hatched a terrible plan to rebrand not just the home ground of yer actual Newcastle United, but also anything with the name of St James' Park attached to it. At least, that's if the BBC's sports website football result compilers are to be believed. Having now spread his tentacles down to Devon - and Exeter City's so-called 'real St James Park' - nothing would seems sacred and beyond the billionaire's horrifying doo-dah. From The North awaits the chilling news from London of the newly-christened 'Sports Direct Palace', 'Sports Direct Royal Park', 'the Court of Sports Direct Arena' and 'Sports Direct Tube Station.'

Magpies and Canaries

Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though, still unsellable) Magpies got back to victorious away after a four-game spell without a win as Papiss Demba Cissé's sublime first-half finish sunk Norwich City and revived Newcastle's push for a European place. Cissé superbly turned Jonás Gutiérrez's cross into the top corner from twelve yards. Cissé and strike partner Demba Ba were then denied several times by excellent John Ruddy saves as the Magpies dominated the early exchanges. However, Newcastle, who started with Gutiérrez at left-back and James Perch protecting the back four in the absence of Davide Santon and Cheick Tioté, did not have things all their own way. Norwich rallied and enjoyed good spells either side of the break. But, their best chances were thwarted by the excellent Tim Krul who tipped over a goalbound Zak Whitbread header and blocked a shot from Anthony Pilkington. United finished the stronger and, although it was far from their best performance of the season they never really looked in too much danger of surrendering their lead. The win kept United in sixth place in the Premiership, five points ahead of seventh placed Liverpool. Elsewhere on Sunday, the football world once again displayed a surprisingly capacity for yer actual humanity - something too often unrecognised by critics of the sport - with fans across the country demonstrating their solidarity with Bolton's Fabrice Muamba who remains in a critical condition in intensive care after suffering a heart-attack during the FA tie against Tottenham Hotshots on Saturday. There were rounds of applause from supporters at St James' Park, Stamford Bridge (where Chelsea were playing Leicester), Anfield (where Liverpool played Stoke) and Molineux (where poor ten-man Wolves got a right good trousers-down hiding off The Scum). Former Bolton defender Gary Cahill scored the opening goal in Chelsea's FA Cup quarter-final against Leicester and revealed a T-shirt with the message: 'Pray 4 Muamba.' Bolton's next scheduled match, against Aston Villa on Tuesday, has been postponed. Villa boss Alex McLeish also worked with Muamba at Birmingham. 'He is a manager's dream in terms of his commitment to the team,' said McLeish. 'The massive response throughout Europe and the world of football underlines how everybody has been touched by this tragic development and I pray that Fabrice is able to pull through.' Meanwhile, it is being reported by several national newspapers that a man has been arrested after allegedly making racist remarks relating to Muamba. The Scum Mail on Sunday claimed that a twenty one-year-old from Pontypridd 'aired his disparaging views on Twitter in the wake of the midfielder's tragedy.' Not having read the comments in question - which I'm rather glad about - the blogger is being very careful about how he phases the next paragraph. If - and I repeat if - any odious fraction of an individual is found guilty of making such comments (about Muamba or anyone else for that matter), is it too much to hope that they die, in agony, from cancer of the genitals? Possibly, it is. But, it'd also be fitting.

Fabrice Muamba

Bolton Wanderers midfielder Fabrice Muamba is critically ill this evening after collapsing during the FA Cup fifth-round tie against Tottenham. The twenty three-year-old is being treated in the intensive care unit of the heart attack centre at the London Chest Hospital. Medics spent ten minutes trying to resuscitate him on the field after he fell to the ground with no other players around him. The score was 1-1 when the match was abandoned after forty one minutes. 'Bolton Wanderers can confirm that Fabrice Muamba has been admitted to The Heart Attack Centre at The London Chest Hospital where he is in a critically ill condition in intensive care,' said a joint statement from Bolton and the hospital released at half past nine on Saturday night. 'No further information will be issued at this stage. The club and hospital request that the media and public respect the family's privacy at this time.' Medical staff gave the former England Under-21 international mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and tried to revive him with a defibrillator. In total six medics were treating the player. Both sets of supporters chanted Muamba's name as he was taken off the pitch on a stretcher. ESPN, who were broadcasting the match, reported that he was not breathing as he was taken into the tunnel. Referee Howard Webb called the visibly shaken players off the field after consulting with Bolton manager Owen Coyle and Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp. Minutes later the match was abandoned. The former Arsenal midfielder was accompanied in the ambulance by Coyle and club captain Kevin Davies. BBC Radio 5Live's chief football reporter Dennis, who was covering the game at White Hart Lane, witnessed medics rushing to aid Muamba. 'When the medical staff arrived his face was on the turf,' he said. 'You could see them using a defibrillator and he was [electronically] charged on at least two occasions. Everyone could see Fabrice Muamba was fighting for his life. If he does pull through it will be down to the quick actions of the medics.' Soon after the incident, messages of support flooded in for the former Birmingham City and Arsenal player. Spurs' Rafael van der Vaart was one of those on the pitch when Muamba collapsed. He tweeted: 'Terrible what happened with Muamba during the game. We're all praying for him.' England international Jack Wilshere, who played with Muamba at Bolton, wrote: 'Hope Muamba is okay. Thoughts with him.' Middlesbrough defender Justin Hoyte, who played in the Arsenal youth team with Muamba, said: 'I seriously hope my best friend in football is okay. Stay strong bro, please please stay strong. God is with you remember that.' The Professional Footballers' Association chief executive Gordon Taylor said it was 'a terrible thing to see for all the football family. This can happen on a pitch and [it is] one of the reasons why we insist all youngsters coming into the game have the ability to have heart screenings to avoid this happening,' he said. FA chairman David Bernstein said their thoughts and prayers were with Muamba and his family. 'Fabrice has played thirty three times for England Under-21s, captaining Stuart Pearce's side during this time and is a player, and more importantly, a person we care greatly for,' he said. 'We are in contact with Bolton Wanderers over Fabrice's condition and are awaiting updates.' Muamba joined Wanderers from Birmingham in 2008 and has made almost one hundred and fifty appearances for the club. Born on 6 April 1988 in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo, was granted asylum status in Britain in 1994 at the age of eleven, rejoining his father who had been forced to flee his homeland on political grounds. He progressed through Arsenal's youth academy, representing England at every level from under-16 to under-21. It was unclear what caused the Bolton player to fall down in the forty second minute with the score 1-1, but it was clear immediately that he was in obvious distress. Players and staff immediately realised the seriousness of the situation, with Tottenham's players gesturing frantically for the paramedics to come on. Muamba lost consciousness and several attempts were made to resuscitate him on the pitch using CPR. Bolton's manager, Owen Coyle, shouted: 'He's just collapsed,' before running across to join the paramedics and looked on as the medical team struggled to revive his stricken player. As we said when Gary Speed's shockingly untimely death was announced late last year, it's at times like this it's brought home to everyone that football, great game that it is, is still ultimately just a game.