They'll Be In Europe Next Year ... If There's War

The top four Premier League teams will, as usual, qualify for the Champions League group stages. Shekih Yer Man City, The Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws and The Club Formerly Known As Moscow Chelski FC are already assured of top-four places. However, even if Liverpool win this season's Champions League final (they play Real Madrid on 28 May), there will be no extra place for English clubs. The title race is, as it has been since August, between City and The Pool, who are separated by but one point going into the final games on Sunday. The fourth Champions League place is between Stottingtot Hotshots and The Arse. Realistically, however, because of Spurs' vastly superior goal difference, they will finish in the top four unless they lose their final game (at Norwich) and Arsenal win theirs (at home to Everton). Liverpool's victories in both the FA Cup and theee Carabao Cup mean that the European places from those competitions automatically revert to the league. The fifth and sixth-placed Premier League teams will qualify for the Europa League group stage, while the seventh-placed team will earn a - much-coveted - place in the Europa Conference League play-off round. Sixth and seventh places is between The Scum and West Hamsters United and will be decided on the last day of the season (The Scum are at Crystal Palace, The Hamsters visit Brighton & Hove Albinos). Norwich's relegation was confirmed on 30 April when they lost to the Aston Villains, while Watford joined them on 7 May after their defeat at Crystal Palace. The final relegation place is between Burnley and Dirty Leeds following Everton's come-from-behind victory over Crystal Palace on Thursday.

Dear blog readers will, however, excuse this blogger if he fails to mention one of the best stories of the Premier League season, the unexpected (but, very welcome) turnaround in fortunes of his beloved (and now, thankfully, sold) Newcastle United. On 20 November, twelve days after Eddie Howe was appointed to replace that odious stinker Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him nasty) as manager, a draw with Brentford - coupled with Norwich beating Southampton - saw The Magpies sink to the foot of the table, winless after a dozen games and, seemingly, heading straight for the Championship. Fast forward a little over five months, a much-needed transfer window and eleven wins from eighteen games since January and Howe and his team now sit in twelfth place, the threat of relegation having long-since been banished. Sceptics - and, several of the odious Mister Bruice's big-mouthed fiends in the media - questioned whether Howe was the right appointment at St James' Park due to his attacking style of play. However, the dramatic u-turn in Th' Toon's form has silenced the doubters and made Howe a genuine hero to The Magpies' fanbase. So, many congratulations are due to 'the fellah from Bournemouth who got a team relegated' (according to his odious predecessor in the St James' Park dug-out). There are actual smiles on faces at Gallowgate these days, something notably absent during the majority of Mike Ashley's reign of misery.

Fulham clinched promotion back to the Premier League on 19 April with a three-nil win over Preston Both Ends and won the Championship title with a game to spare on 2 May, beating Luton seven-nil. Runners-up Bournemouth made sure of the second automatic promotion place on 3 May when defeating Nottingham Forest. In the play-off final at Wembley on 29 May, Huddersfield Town (who beat Luton in their semi-final) will face Nottingham Forest (who edged past Sheffield United on penalties amid a geet rive-on with kids gettin' sparked and aal sorts). The Middlesbrough Smog Monsters missed out on the play-offs, thrashed at Preston on the final day of the season. Blackburn Rovers, Millwall and West Bromwich Albinos (the latter now managed by That Nasty Mister Brucie fellow) also failed to make the play-offs. Cash-strapped Derby County's relegation to League One was confirmed on 18 April after a defeat at Queens Park Strangers (the scowl on Wayne Rooney's boat-race could be seen from space, dear blog reader), whilst Barnsley joined them four days later after a two-nil loss at Huddersfield. Peterborough United became the third relegated club, losing at home to Nottingham Forest on 23 April. Reading, Birmingham City and Hull City all avoided the drop.

Wigan Not Very Athletic clinched promotion to the Championship and won the League One title when they beat Shrewsbury three-nil on the final day of the season. Rotherham United made sure of the second automatic promotion place, winning three-nil at Gillingham. In the play-off final on 21 May, Wycombe Wanderers (who beat Milton Keynes Dons in their semi-final) will face Sunderland after The Mackem Filth overcame Sheffield Wednesday. Plymouth Argyle, Oxford United, Notlob Wanderers and Ipswich Town were amongst those who were in contention for a play-off place for much of the season but, ultimately, missed out. Crewe Alexandra were the first EFL club to be relegated on 9 April when they lost two-nil to fellow strugglers Doncaster Rovers. Relegation was not confirmed for the other three clubs until the last day of the season as Doncaster drew at Oxford, AFC Wimbledon lost four-three to Accrington Stanley (who are they?) and Gillingham lost three-nil to Rotherham. Fleetwood Town avoided relegation due to their superior goal difference whilst Morecambe & Wise FC finished two points clear of the drop zone.

Forest Green Hippy Rovers - and their, much-sung-about, meat-free pies - booked their place in League One with a goalless draw at Bristol Rovers on 23 April, while Exeter City were promoted three days later after beating Barrow two-one at the other St James' Park. Forest Green made sure of the title, drawing two-two at Mansfield on the final day, when Joey Barton's Bristol Rovers dramatically clinched the third automatic promotion place with a sensational seven-nil victory over already relegated Scunthorpe. In the play-off semi-finals, Mansfield Town beat Northampton Town, while Port Vale defeated Swindon Town on penalties. Sutton United, Tranmere Rovers, Salford FC and Newport County were among those who threatened to challenge for the play-offs but fell short. The bottom two teams were relegated to the National League; Scunthorpe United on 15 April when they lost three-nil at Leyton Orient while Oldham Not Very Athletic (a Premier League club as recently as 1994) joined them after losing two-one to Salford on 23 April in a game which was completed behind closed doors after initially being abandoned following a pitch invasion by furious Latics fans. Barrow, Stevenage, Carlisle United, Harrogate Town, Rochdale and Hartlepool all limped to safety, largely due to the on-pitch ineptitude of the two relegated clubs.

National League Champions Stockport County were promoted to League Two after beating Halifax two-nil. In the first round of the play-offs, Notts County play Grimsby Town on 23 May while FC Halifax entertain Chesterfield the following day. The winner of Notts County or Grimsby will then visit Wrexham in the semi-finals on 28 May, while Halifax or Chesterfield will be away to Solihull Moors - with the semi-final winners meeting on 5 June for a place in League Two. The bottom three teams were relegated to the National League North or South. Dover Athletic, deducted twelve points for failing to complete their 2020-21 fixtures, were the first club from England's five major leagues to be relegated after a two-nil defeat by Yeovil Town on 19 March. They were joined by Weymouth on 26 April when they lost six-one to Wrexham and King's Lynn Town on 30 April after a three-all draw with Eastleigh. The champions and play-off winners of the North and South divisions will all be promoted to the National League, restoring it to twenty four clubs. Maidstone United clinched the Southern title on 30 April, with Gateshead making sure of the North title on 2 May. G'yiddip Th' Heed! Both of the play-off finals are on 21 May. York City host Boston United at the LNER Community Stadium whilst Dorking Wanderers and Ebbsfleet United compete for the Southern promotion slot.

Scottish Premier League champions Glasgow Celtic clinched the title on 11 May, drawing at Dundee United and will enter the Champions League at the group stage (following the ban of Russian clubs from UEFA's 2022-23 competitions). Runners-up Glasgow Rangers will enter the Champions League at the third qualifying round. They would have gone straight into the group stages if they had won the Europa League final this week but, they lost on penalties to Eintracht Frankfurt. Because both Rangers and third-placed Hearts have reached the Scottish Cup final, Hearts will enter the Europa League at the play-off round. Fourth-placed Dundee United gained a place in the Europa Conference League third qualifying round and fifth-placed Motherwell will enter the same competition at the second qualifying round. Bottom placed Dundee's relegation to the Scottish Championship was confirmed on 11 May after St Johnstone beat Aberdeen. Having finished eleventh, St Johnstone face Championship side Inverness Caledonian Thistle in a two-legged play-off on 20 and 23 May.

Kilmarnock were promoted to the Premiership after beating nearest Championship rivals Arbroath on 22 April. In the play-off final, Inverness Caledonian Thistle will meet St Johnstone for the final place in next season's Premiership. Bottom club Queen of the South were relegated to League One on 23 April. Ninth-placed Dunfermline Athletic were relegated on 7 May after losing their play-off semi-final to League One side Queen's Park. Cove Rangers were promoted to the Championship as League One champions on 23 April after beating Dumbarton, while Queen's Park earned the second promotion place, defeating Airdrieonians in the play-off final. East Fife were relegated to League Two on 16 April after losing three-one to Falkirk. Ninth-placed Dumbarton were relegated on 7 May after losing their play-off semi-final to League Two side Edinburgh City. League Two champions Kelty Hearts clinched automatic promotion with a win over Stenhousemuir on 26 March, while Edinburgh City were promoted on 13 May after overcoming Annan Athletic in the play-off final. Cowdenbeath were relegated to the Lowland League on 14 May after losing a play-off to Lowland champions Bonnyrigg Rose Athletic, who will replace them in League Two in 2022-23.

There will, as usual, be dancing in the streets of The New Saints. The Oswestry club won the Cymru Premier League for the fourteenth time by a record twenty one points and, in doing so, qualified for the Champions League. They then completed the double, winning the Welsh Cup final against Penybont. Linfield won the Northern Ireland Premiership, ahead of Cliftonville and Glentoran. Crusaders, Larne and Coleraine also qualified for the Europa Conference League play-offs.

A double from the Argentina striker Lautaro Martínez earned Internazionale a three-one win at Cagliari, a victory which ensured the Serie A title race will go to the final weekend. With the leaders, AC Milan, having beaten Atalanta two-nil at the San Siro earlier on Sunday, Inter had to win in Sardinia to keep the title race alive, going in front through Matteo Darmian. Martínez added a second after the break and Inter appeared on course for a comfortable ninth win in ten matches, before Charalampos Lykogiannis brought Cagliari back into the game. Inter suffered some nervous moments before Martinez's second secured the game. Victory meant that Inter remained two points behind their Milan rivals. The champions must beat Sampdoria on Sunday and hope AC lose at Sassuolo, if they are to retain the Scudetto. Elsewhere in Serie A, Napoli made sure they will finish third, ahead of Juventus, after a three-nil win over Genoa. In La Liga, where Real Madrid had already been crowned champions some weeks ago, a late header from Youssef En-Nesyri earned Sevilla a draw at Atlético Madrid, securing Champions League qualification despite extending their winless run to four games. With one match remaining, the result left Sevilla fourth on sixty seven points, three ahead of Real Betis, but with a better head-to-head record against their local rivals. The Copa Del Rey winners, who had already secured a Europa League spot, won two-nil at home against Granada. Barcelona were held to a goalless draw at Getafe, but still wrapped up second place ahead of Atlético to secure a spot in the lucrative Spanish Super Cup. Real Sociedad secured a spot in the Europa League after recovering from going a goal down to win two-one at Villarreal. They are sixth on sixty two points, six ahead of Unai Emery's Villarreal who could failed to qualify for European competitions entirely, after reaching the Champions League semi-finals earlier this season. They are only one point ahead of eighth-placed Athletic Bilbao, who won two-nil against Osasuna. Villarreal play Barcelona next Sunday while Sevilla play Bilbao, who are still fighting for seventh place and a spot in the Europa Conference League. Alavés were relegated following a three-one defeat by Levante, while a Rúben Sobrino strike earned Cádiz a reprieve as they kept alive their slim hopes of avoiding the drop with a home draw against Real Madrid. The four-times Bundesliga champions Werder Bremen won promotion to the top division after a one-year absence with a two-nil victory over Jahn Regensburg that sealed second spot in the second division. Fußballclub Gelsenkirchen-Schalke 04 had already secured the 2 Bundesliga championship and promotion back to the top flight a year after they were relegated. Hamburger SV came from a goal down to beat Hansa Rostock three-two and finish third ahead of Darmstadt on goal difference. This sets up a play-off with Hertha Berlin in Hamburg's attempt to return to the top flight after four years. Hertha, who finished sixteenth in the Bundesliga, are managed by the former Hamburg great Felix Magath. Fußball-Club Bayern München, Borussia Dortmund, Bayer Leverkusen and RB Leipzig secured the top-four spots and places in the Champions League. Union Berlin and SC Freiburg earned Europa League finishes whilst Köln grabbed a Europa Conference League place ahead of Mainz, Hoffenheim and Borussia Mönchengladbach.

Paris Saint Germain had already won Lique Une long before their four-nil victory over Montpellier and are currently fifteen points clear of second placed Monaco before the final round of matches. Third placed Marseille and Rennes sit in the other Champions League places although Strasbourg and Nice both have a mathematical chance of finishing fourth. Lens, Lyon, Nantes and Lille complete the top ten. Metz, Brodeaux and one of the cult sides of the 1970s, Saint-Étienne, were relegated. Ajax were crowned Dutch champions with an emphatic five-nil victory over Heerenveen at the Johan Cruijff Arena, giving Scumchester United-bound coach Ten Hag the perfect send-off. The Amsterdam club, who have now extended their record number of domestic league titles to thirty six, finished four points clear of second-placed PSV Eindhoven. Ten Hag ended his four-and-a-half-year stay at the club with a third Eredivisie title. Feyenoord, FC Twente, AZ Alkmaar, SBV Vitesse Arnhem, FC Utrecht and SC Heerenveen also secured qualification for European competitions whilst Heracles Almelo, Willem II and PEC Zwolle were relegated. Go Ahead Eagles, to the relief of the legion of non-Dutch fans, finished thirteenth. In the Portuguese Primeira as expected, The Big Three - FC Porto, Sporting Lisbon and Benfica - occupied the top three places. Others who will be competing in next season's Champions League include Club Brugge and Union Saint-Gilloise (Belgium), RB Salzburg and Sturm Graz (Austria), Shakhtar Donetsk and Dynamo Kyiv (Ukraine - assuming the Russians haven't bombed them to oblivion by then), Trabzonspor (Turkey), FC København and Midtjylland (Denamrk) and Apollon Limassol (Cyprus). And, Qarabağ (Azerbaijan), Malmö FF (Sweden), Ludogorets Razgrad (Bulgaria), Sheriff Tiraspol (Moldova), CFR Cluj (Romania), Bodø/Glimt (Norway), Ferencváros (Hungary), Slovan Bratislava (Slovakia), HJK (Finland), Inter Club d'Escaldes (Andorra), Žalgiris (Lithuania), Lincoln Red Imps (Gilbraltar), Shamrock Rovers (Eire), Zrinjski (Bosnia & Herzegovina), Sutjeska Nikšić (Montenegro), Shakhtyor Soligorsk (Belarus), KÍ Klaksvík (Faroe Islands), Lech Poznań (Poland), F91 Dudelange (Luxembourg), Hibernians (Malta), FC Tobol (Kazakhstan), Shkupi (North Macedonia), RFS (Latvia), Dinamo Batumi (Georgia), Tirana (Albania), Ballkani (Kosovo), FCI Levadia (Estonia), Víkingur Reykjavík (Iceland), Dinamo Zagreb (Croatia), Olympiacos (Greece), Viktoria Plzeň (Czech Republic), Maccabi Haifa (Israel) and Fussballclub Zürich (Switzerland), plus the - as yet undecided - winners of the domestic leagues in Serbia, San Marino, Slovenia and Armenia. But, definitely not Zenit St Petersburg. They're extremely banned from the competition. Due, mainly, to the criminally-deranged activities of their nasty President (and, his very small penis). Liechtenstein is the only UEFA member nation not to have their own league and hence do not have a spot in the Champions League. Liechtensteinian club sides play in the Swiss regional leagues, with FC Vaduz currently playing in the second highest Swiss division (The Challenge League).

Draws

England could face The Scotch or Wales at the World Cup in Qatar after the draw for the tournament's finals was made on Friday. One of Wales, Scotland or Ukraine will go into Group B after the remaining European play-off path is completed. Iran and the USA have also been drawn in England's group. The World Cup takes place between 21 November and 18 December, with Senegal playing the Netherlands in the tournament's opening game. England's first fixture, taking place later on the same day, sees them take on Iran. The two sides have never met in a senior competitive international. The game will take place eight days after the Premier League begins a six-week break. Reigning champions France are in Group D while Brazil, who returned to number one in the FIFA rankings in March, are in Group G. Wales, seeking to reach their first World Cup since 1958, will have to overcome the winners of Scotland and Ukraine in the play-off final in June. However, that game - which had been scheduled to take place on 24 March at Hampden - was postponed because of Russia's invasion of Ukraine. The full draw is: Group A: Qatar, Ecuador, Senegal, Netherlands. Group B: England, Iran, USA, Wales or Scotland or Ukraine. Group C: Argentina, Saudi Arabia, Mexico, Poland. Group D: France, UAE or Australia or Peru, Denmark, Tunisia. Group E: Spain, Costa Rica or New Zealand, Germany, Japan. Group F: Belgium, Canada, Morocco, Croatia. Group G: Brazil, Serbia, Switzerland, Cameroon. Group H: Portugal, Ghana, Uruguay, South Korea. After playing Iran on 21 November, England face the USA on 25 November before finishing their Group B campaign on 29 November against one of Scotland, Wales or Ukraine. The winner of the remaining European play-off will open their World Cup campaign against the USA on the first day of the tournament. Should Scotland progress they will play England at a World Cup finals for the first time. The two sides met at last summer's Euro 2020 tournament with the game ending goalless. Wales and England have never met at a World Cup finals either (hardly surprising since Wales have only ever made the final stages once). England won two-one when the sides met in the group stage at Euro 2016. 'We've got to get out of the group,' said England manager Gareth Southgate. 'Out first objective is to get out of the group and then we build from there. When you're seeded you get the advantage of missing out on those big six or seven teams. Most of the first seeds would be pleased with the group they get. The USA are an interesting one. They've got some very good players and we know what they could be capable of, so that one in particular is an intriguing one.' The winner of England's group could meet world champions France in the quarter-finals. Topping - or, indeed, Telly Topping - Group B means a last-sixteen game with the runners-up in Group A, which contains the Netherlands, Ecuador, Senegal and hosts Qatar. Should France top Group D they will face the runners-up in Group C. Group E sees former world champions Spain and Germany drawn together. They will meet in their second group game on 27 November. The highly-fancied Belgians are in Group F alongside 2018 runners-up Croatia. Cristiano Ronaldo's Portugal are in Group H, which also sees Ghana and Uruguay meet in a rematch of the controversial 2010 World Cup Quarter-Final tie. In that game, Luis Suarez handled on the line to deny the Ghanaians a winner in the last minute of extra time. The United States will call on history - they beat England in the 1950 World Cup and drew in South Africa in 2010 - but reality insists they will be huge underdogs, even if they have a very respectable FIFA ranking of fifteenth. Usually all the teams would be known before the World Cup draw but this year three positions are yet to be decided. Russia's invasion of Ukraine has delayed the European play-off, while the coronavirus pandemic accounts for the other delays. Two intercontinental finals will be played in Qatar on 13 and 14 June. Costa Rica and New Zealand meet in one and, in the other, Peru will play the winner of the United Arab Emirates and Australia, who meet in the Asian play-off in Doha on 7 June. Those games were moved from March because of knock-on effects of the pandemic in each continent. All the Oceania qualifiers were played from 17-30 March in a mini-tournament in Qatar. European champions Italy are the most notable absentees after their play-off defeat by North Macedonia, though they did also miss out on the last World Cup. Russia also miss out after being disqualified from the play-offs following their country's invasion of Ukraine (and, the fact that their President has a very tiny member). Norway failed to qualify, meaning Borussia Dortmund's Erling Braut Haaland will have to wait for his major tournament debut. Mohamed Salah and Egypt will not be there either after losing to Senegal on penalties. Nigeria, Algeria and Côte d'Ivoire are also missing from Africa, while South American World Cup regulars Colombia and Chile also failed to qualify. And, there was also no place in the finals for The Federated States of Micronesia. Which is a shame. Meanwhile, the secretary general of the 2022 Qatar World Cup jas claimed, wrongly, that criticism by players and managers has been 'ill-informed' and the nation 'should not be apologetic' about hosting the tournament. Which no one has, this blogger believes, ever said that it should. On the other hand it should be apologetic over its disgraceful human rights record and treatment of gay people. Qatar has strict anti-LGBTIQ+ laws, while there are also concerns over the treatment of migrant workers (an unconfirmed number of who are said to have died during the construction of stadiums for the forthcoming tournament). 'Some people have made statements that in my opinion were ill-informed,' Hassan Al-Thawadi told BBC Sport's editor Dan Roan. Al-Thawadi added: 'We should not be apologetic over our ambitions to host this tournament because we are football loving region. We are football crazy and football mad like anywhere else. We have the legitimate ambition to showcase our region to the rest of the world and to change people's perception of who we are.' Homosexuality is illegal in Qatar and human rights organisation Amnesty International say women and LGBTIQ+ people 'continue to face discrimination in law and practice.' England manager Gareth Southgate has said it would be 'a great shame' that some fans will feel they cannot attend the World Cup because of concerns over their own safety, while captain Harry Kane said he wants to 'shine a light' on the issues surrounding the Qatar tournament. Netherlands manager Louis van Gaal has suggested holding the event in the Middle Eastern country was 'about money' and 'commercial interests.' No shit, Sherlock. On how Qatar's laws can be reconciled with football's focus on inclusivity and anti-discrimination, Al-Thawadi claimed, unconvincingly: 'We have always said everybody is welcome. What we will ensure is everybody will be safe. Everybody will feel secure. [We are] inviting the world to come to visit Qatar, to visit the Arab world, and to understand again, for us, we're a relatively conservative country, which means public display of affection is something that is not within our culture. But hospitality and welcoming people from different parts of the world into our country is part of our culture.' He added: 'We've done this over the last few years and we have people from different walks of life who have made a home for themselves in Qatar. I think the nature of these tournaments is it allows people from different walks of life to be able to experience and understand different cultures.' A report in the Gruniad Morning Star in February 2021 claimed that over six thousand migrant workers have died in the country since the World Cup was awarded in 2010. Qatar 2022 dispute these figures but have not commented publicly on them, while the Qatar government said in a statement: 'The mortality rate among these communities is within the expected range for the size and demographics of the population.' Asked if the 2022 tournament was sportswashing, Al-Thawadi said 'that could not be further from the truth.' One or two people even believed him.

Aal The Lads & Lasses, There, Aal With Smilin' Faces ...

The Premier League, this blogger's beloved (though, previously, unsellable) Newcastle United Football Club and St James Holdings Limited have, today, settled the dispute over the takeover of the club by the consortium of PIF, PCP Capital Partners and RB Sports & Media. A three hundred million smackers Saudi Arabian-backed takeover bid has, finally, reached a conclusion. The fact that it has happened this week, after eighteen months is something of a shock. Last week United's supporters were celebrating when they learned of a January arbitration date. Now one of the most complicated takeovers in the league's history is over and fans can dream of a brighter future. It will be a future without hated previous owner Mike Ashley and one in which the club can compete with Europe's biggest teams thanks to the billions the Saudi Public Investment Fund (PIF) can provide. 

    For a fanbase and club which has lurched from one drama to another in the past decade-and-a-half since Ashley first waddled into Th' Toon, at least there is now a blank page. No-one was expecting the takeover to be completed this week. The best anyone could have hoped for was January 2022, when arbitration between the consortium, led by financier Amanda Staveley, was scheduled in an attempt to settle a row with the Premier League about who would have control at the club. The Saudi state has been accused (rightly) of human rights abuses and was recently embroiled in a copyright row, which would have made it tricky for the takeover to go through based on the Premier League's owners' and directors' test. So, what the consortium needed to do was prove that the Kingdom's PIF, which would provide eighty per cent of the money for the takeover, was a separate entity to the state. Difficult, perhaps, when the ruling leader Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman is also listed as PIF's chairman. But with legally-binding assurances provided, that has now happened. It is understood there will be significant consequences if those agreements are broken. The consortium can also demonstrate how PIF already invests in companies, including the McLaren F1 team, without state control. 

    The precursor to news of the takeover going through on Wednesday was Qatar broadcaster beIN Sports saying it had resolved its long-running dispute about Premier League football matches being broadcast illegally in Saudi Arabia. By proving there is separation between the Saudi state and PIF that issue becomes immaterial. But after claims that beIN had previously pressured the Premier League into blocking the takeover, the timing was interesting nonetheless. There is no doubt the vast majority of fans are celebrating the Saudi Arabian-led takeover, no matter the potential distractions that come with it. A Newcastle United Supporters' Trust survey said this week that almost ninety four per cent of its members who expressed a preference were in favour of the takeover and owner Ashley has been told to 'get out of our club' at nearly every match. The situation has become especially toxic this season. Newcastle are currently winless, second bottom in the Premier League and the same fans' survey said ninety four per cent of supporters want manager Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) to leave 'in the best interests of the club.' And, to not let the door hit his arse on the way out. The takeover, they hope, will wash away the sour taste in many mouths on Tyneside. 

     PIF's assets of two hundred and fifty billion knicker dwarfs the wealth of even Sheikh Yer Man City's Abu Dhabi owners and Paris St-Germain's Qatari owners and can conjure up images of signing the likes of French World Cup winner Kylian Mbappe or recruiting Antonio Conte as a replacement for Bruce. At least, that's the theory being pushed by most of the media. 'Fans are absolutely delighted that the disastrous fourteen-year reign of Ashley is almost over,' said Greg Tomlinson of NUST. 'They are looking forward to having hope and belief in their football club for the first time in many years. We don't demand that the club is winning trophies next season. We just want growth and a football club that gets better. Fans have been beaten into the ground.' Tomlinson added: 'Clubs are bought and sold at the highest level by billionaires and sovereign states and we have not had a say in that. But as a supporters' organisation we will always support inclusion and be against discrimination and abuse of human rights. We will use our influence to effect change where we can.' Backed by the wealth of PIF, the consortium is also made up of Staveley's PCP Capital Partners and British property investors the Reuben Brothers, who are also billionaires, so there appears to be no shortage of money. Staveley, who is from Yorkshire, has spoken in the past of her admiration for Sheikh Yer Man City, having been involved in the Abu Dhabi takeover thirteen years ago. But she has also previously urged caution about lavish spending, preferring to highlight how City's owners have invested in the city of Manchester and in developing an impressive youth academy. So there is much hope from locals - this blogger very much included - that the new Newcastle regime follow a similar template. 

    From a club perspective, one of the first items on the forty eight-year-old's agenda will be overhauling the structure of the club and improving its communications with supporters. Ashley is seldom heard from and any communication from senior figures often comes in the form of statements from managing director Lee Charnley, who is Bruce's go-to man when it comes to transfers. Or, lack of them. But there is no chief executive tasked with running the club, there is no director of football and Bruce is the public figure who has to face weekly questions about everything from legal cases to lack of funds for players, which led to huge frustration in the summer. At which he is, quite simply, about as much use as a chocolate fireguard. Bruce, a Newcastle fan himself - something he trots out with monotonous regularity - claims that he 'only wants what's best for the club and if that means a takeover, then great.' But with the new owners seeking to establish a bond with supporters, the sixty-year-old's position will be under serious threat. Without any ability to sign players until January, a replacement, big-name manager, would at least signify their intent. Staveley praised the former - highly-regarded - Newcastle boss Rafael Benitez when she first made her move for the club in 2018. But the Spaniard has made a fine start with Everton this season. Other fans have said they would like former Juventus, Italy and Moscow Chelski FC manager Conte, who is available. Other managers on the market include another former Moscow Chelski FC boss Frank Lampard and former Sheffield United manager Chris Wilder - although appointment of the latter would be regarded as a significantly retrograde step by many. Current coach Graeme Jones could also work as an interim replacement should Bruce get his large backside kicked out of the front door at St James Park into the gutter along with all the other effluence. After a poor start to the Premier League season, the most important objective will be maintaining the club's top-flight status. But for a lot of fans the future suddenly looks at least a little bit brighter. Of course, we've been here before - fourteen years ago, to be exact when Ashley took over the club. So, the age-old truism 'be careful what you wish for, it might just come true' is, always, worth having in the back of ones mind. Nevertheless, Amanda Staveley has told NUFC fans they are 'the greatest in the world.' Which, in one sentence, is more than those same fans ever got out of Ashley's gob. The British businesswoman greeted supporters at the Jesmond Dene Hotel, where the consortium members had been awaiting the announcement. She told supporters: "It has taken us four years to get here today. I know everyone has got a lot of questions about managers and players and things. Right now, we just want to get in and do a review of the business and we are going to let you all know the plans. We're here to invest. We are patient. We are genuinely here to try and make sure that we try and become the best custodians of the club we can be. You are the greatest fans in the world."' She added: 'This is a long-term investment. We are excited about the future prospects for Newcastle United. We intend to instill a united philosophy across the club, establish a clear purpose, and help provide leadership that will allow Newcastle United to go on to big achievements over the long term. Our ambition is aligned with the fans – to create a consistently successful team that’s regularly competing for major trophies and generates pride across the globe.' Good words. Now, back 'em up with some positive actions and a bit of progress and, trust this blogger Mandy, m'love, you'll be able to walk across the Tyne without getting your feet wet on the wave of goodwill that'll be coming your way.

They Were Only Supposed To Blow The Bloody Doors Off

Sunday saw the final of the socher-ball Euro 2020(ish) competition played at yer actual Wembley Stadium. If you missed it, we lost. Next ...

Almost twenty four viewers watched England's historic Euro 2020(ish) victory against Denmark on Wednesday on ITV. According to overnight figures, the semi-final at Wembley brought an average audience of 23.86 million. The last five minutes of the match drew a peak audience of 25.71 million - almost five million more than the peak audience recorded during the previous Saturday's match against Ukraine. The game was the most watched non-news event since Croatia knocked England out of the 2018 World Cup at the semi-final stage. That match was watched by 24.3 million in July 2018. England's four-nil win over Ukraine attracted a peak TV audience of 20.9 million, making it the most-watched live TV event of the year up to that point. The most watched event of recent years remains the Prime Minister's May 2020 coronavirus announcement, which was seen by 27.49 million viewers across six different channels.

Meanwhile, a TV audience of a fraction under thirty one million punters watched the tense closing minutes of the Euro 2020(ish) final, overnight figures show. Ratings peaked during Sunday's calamitou penalty shootout between England and Italy at Wembley, which was broadcast on both the BBC and ITV. An average of 29.85 million watched the whole match live. Te combined figure makes it the highest TV audience since the funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales, in 1997. Whilst England goalkeeper Jordan Pickford saved two of the Azzurri's spot kicks in what was, very much, a game of two halves, Marcus Rashford hit the post with his spot-kick before Jadon Sancho and Bukayo Saka had theirs saved to hand Italy a, in the end, well deserved victory. 'You can cut ratings in so many different ways and audience measurement has changed over the years, but safe to say this: it is among the biggest audiences in UK broadcasting history,' said Deadline's international editor Jake Kanter. In footballing terms, the highest ratings before Sunday's figures were released came from the West Germany versus England semi-final at the World Cup in 1990, watched by twenty five million viewers across both of the main hannels. That also featured a painful penalty shootout exit for England. The official audience for Sunday's match may rise still further when those who saw it via catch-up services are taken into account. The overwhelming majority of people watched the coverage on BBC as compared to ITV - by a factor of more than four to one.

Nursing A Semi

England's fifty five-year wait to reach a major socher-ball final is over after victory against Denmark at Euro 2020(ish). On a night of nerve-shredding tension followed by unconfined joy and delirium at a rocking Wembley Stadium. Gareth Southgate's side were on a mission to travel one step further than any England side had since 1966 (and all that) and the World Cup final win against West Germany. They finally achieved the long-cherished goal as they came from behind to triumph in extra time against the plucky Danes. In front of sixty six thousand fans and in a frenzied, thunderous atmosphere this newer Wembley has not experienced before, England battled their way out of adversity to secure a meeting with Italy in the final at the same venue on Sunday. And, they'll probably lose because, that's England for you!

Sometimes, your luck is just in, you catch a break when you most need it and, after so much major tournament semi-final heartache over the past decades, England finally got something to go their way and, in the process, one of these suffocatingly high-tension encounters to follow suit. They had to fight for victory against steely opponents - who had an inspired keeper in yer actual Bacon Sandwich Junior, Kasper Schmeichel - especially after conceding their first goal of the tournament to Mikkel Damsgaard's free-kick after thirty minutes. But they replied quickly as Denmark captain Simon Kjær turned in Bukayo Saka's threatening cross six minutes before the break getting to the ball inches ahead of Raheem Sterling. Schmeichel was Denmark's hero as the hosts sought the winner, saving brilliantly from Harry Maguire and Harry Kane as the game went into extra time and the prospect of penalties loomed large. The moment the nation has awaited so long effectively arrived with Wembley's giant screens showing one hundred and three minutes and Kane standing over a penalty after Sterling had been fouled by Joakim Mæhle. The contact appeared minimal but the Dutch referee, Danny Makkelie (who had an excellent game throughout), felt it was sufficient to award the penalty and VAR agreed with the decision. To compound the uneasiness, there was a second ball on the pitch at the time, although it did not appear to have affected play. In keeping with England's long and tortuous history, it was not straightforward as the normally ice-cool Kane saw a pretty awful penalty saved by Schmeichel - but the rebound fell back at Kane's feet and he scored. Kane has now equalled Gary Lineker's long-standing record of ten goals for England at major tournaments. Wembley promptly went pure dead off-it with deafening noise and bananas celebrations and, after all the 'years of hurt,' England now have the golden opportunity to finally claim a major crown. The biggest crowd at a British sporting event in sixteen months had provided the noise throughout, living every moment and now they knew the end was in sight. The night would belong to them, to Gareth Southgate and his squad that has ripped up the old narratives around the England team. At last, Denmark were broken. They would finish with ten men after their substitute Mathias Jensen was injured in the one hundred and fifth minute with all of the replacements having been used. They simply had nothing left. England had suffered and worried, they always do. But in the second period of extra time there was an unusual sense of comfort and even serenity as Southgate’s players closed out the game with great common sense, keeping their composure, taking care to play keep-ball. The statistics showed that Denmark only touched the ball once inside the England area in those final fifteen minutes. England deserved it. They had considerably more shots than their opponents and, from an early point in the second half, it was they that were constantly on the front foot - the fact that the best player on the pitch, by a distance, was Schmeichel was telling. On an unforgettable night, England answered two of the most crucial questions surrounding them. For all the promise and progress since the bitter disappointment of defeat to Croatia in the World Cup semi-finals in Moscow in 2018, the players and manager needed to demonstrate they could overcome what has proved to be an insurmountable hurdle for both themselves and their predecessors, after they also came up short in the last four at the Italia 1990 World Cup and Euro 1996. This was the acid test - at least before Sunday's final against a formidable Italy - and they delivered the goods not only in the context of Euro 2020(ish) but also in demonstrating their character and big-match mentality. England went into this semi on a wave of expectation and national optimism after the last-sixteen victory against Germany at Wembley was followed up by the emphatic four-nil demolition of Ukraine in the quarter-final in Rome. And they faced a test of their nerve when they fell behind to this excellent Danish side. Pierre-Emile Højbjerg and Kasper Dolberg went close - the latter after a poor Pickford clearance - and England were in trouble when Damsgaard summoned whip and power on his free-kick. It was the first goal Pickford had conceded in seven hundred and twenty five minutes for England. England were ragged at this point - the worst they'd played since their ponderous and lethagic first round game with The Scotchland - but the response was full of conviction, equalising swiftly then taking control before the tiring Danes and the magnificent Schmeichel were finally overcome with Kane's winner. Southgate's team has crossed a barrier no England team has made it beyond since Sir Alf Ramsey's World Cup winners - now we must wait to see if it will give them the confidence and belief to clear the final hurdle. As Southgate will have demanded of them, England's big players made their impact when it mattered most on a night when failure would have been hard to bear. Kane, who struggled to get into Euro 2020(ish) during the group stage, rode his luck to score his fourth - and most important - goal of the tournament after his missed penalty, but his performance was full of energy and menace. He is back to his best and how England will need that against the two great Italian central-defensive warriors Giorgio Chiellini and Leonardo Bonucci, who have a quality and street-wisdom reflected in their combined total of seventy years. Sterling continued his superb tournament, reflected in the run that earned England's match-winning penalty, hitting at the heart of Denmark's outstanding defence until he finally drew the crucial mistake. The Scum's Harry Maguire, an injury doubt who did not even make the start of the tournament, is now back in the role where Southgate wants him - defensive leader, powerhouse and ever-present set-piece danger at one end and blockade at the other. There were, in fact, fine performances from all of the back four - Kyle Walker in particular - whilst Saka, Mason Mount and late substitute Phil Foden showed plenty of drive and energy going forward. Once the euphoria has died down and England's heroes clear their heads, they must go above and beyond the call of duty once more. There were tears among Denmark's players as the final whistle sounded on their Euro 2020(ish) campaign, one which began with the trauma of Christian Eriksen's cardiac arrest in their opening game against Finland then went on to be a huge credit to coach Kapser Hjulmand and his team. Denmark had the air of a squad on a mission as Eriksen thankfully continues his recovery but they were not simply fuelled by emotion, this was a team with quality and character who fully deserved to reach the last four. And, make no mistake, Denmark made this a very awkward night for England but might just curse the failure to protect their lead to half-time. This was a cruel night for Hjulmand and his team - but they have graced Euro 2020(ish) with their strength, unity and their performances. Pickford set a new record for an England goalkeeper for most minutes without conceding overtaking Gordon Banks' seven hundred and twenty minutes set between May/July 1966. England won a European Championship knockout game after going behind for the first time, while it's the first time they have done so in a major tournament since their three-two win over Cameroon in the 1990 World Cup quarter-final. This was the seventh game at Euro 2020(ish) to go to extra time, with the 1990 and 2014 World Cups the only major tournaments to see more matches go to the extended period (eight each). Mikkel Damsgaard's opening goal for Denmark was the first direct free-kick goal of Euro 2020(ish). Jack Grealish became the third England player to be both subbed on and then off in a match at a major tournament whenhe was replaced by Kieran Trippier for the second half of extra time, after Jamie Redknapp (against The Scotchland in Euro 1996) and Aaron Lennon (against Portugal in the 2006 World Cup). Although the decision seemed to surprise some commentators, Grealish had begun to give the ball away rather too often and, England's dominance during the final fifteen minutes justified Southgate's switch. At nineteen years and three hundred and five days, Bukayo Saka became the youngest Englishman to start a match at the semi-final stage or later of a major tournament.

The Charge Of The White Brigade

England produced a somewhat-better-than-expected display as they thrashed Ukraine four-nil in Rome to set up a Euro 2020(ish) semi-final against Denmark at Wembley. Which now, knowing the daft sods as we all do from bitter past experience, they'll probably now go and lose. Nevertheless, regardless of what the future may hold, Gareth Southgate's side followed up the landmark victory over Germany in the last sixteen by producing a performance of composure and high quality to continue their impressive progress in this tournament. Harry Kane was back to his predatory best after struggling in the group stage, following up his goal against Germany by poking home a superb pass from Raheem Sterling after only four minutes. Ukraine barely threatened and England - having reached the last four at the 2018 World Cup and the following year's Nations League - were on their way to a third successive semi-final when Harry Maguire powered home a header from Luke Shaw's free-kick seconds after the break. The outstanding Shaw was the creator once more four minutes later with a perfect cross that was headed in from six yards by Kane. England were impressive as they simply overpowered Ukraine with substitute Jordan Henderson getting the fourth - his first international goal, in his sixty second appearance - when he arrived with perfect timing to head in Mason Mount's corner. To add to England and Southgate's satisfaction, they kept their fifth successive clean sheet to maintain their record of not conceding a goal at Euro 2020(ish). Southgate never wavered for a second in his belief that captain Kane would have a significant impact on Euro 2020(ish), even when he looked off the pace and out of sorts when failing to score in group games against Croatia, The Scotchland and the Czech Republic. Performances which led to some calls for Kane to be dropped (albeit, not from anyone that actually matters). Southgate's faith was rewarded when Kane got off the mark with England's crucial second in the two-nil win over Germany in mid-week. It was the catalyst for the real Kane to come alive in the tournament - and he punished Ukraine in trademark style. Kane pounced for his first, rose to power in a second and almost completed a hat-trick in spectacular fashion with a left-foot volley that was turned on to the post by Ukraine keeper Georgi Bushchan. He was a constant threat, his link with Sterling increasingly impressive and has timed his return to peak form perfectly. The Scum's Shaw has had to fight to revive his England career - having been behind Moscow Chelski FC's Ben Chilwell for some time, he missed out on a start against Croatia in the Euro 2020(ish) opener, when Southgate used Kieran Trippier in the left-back role. It has all changed since he was brought into the side for the goalless draw against The Scotch. Shaw has made a magnificent contribution to England's run to the semi-final and will likely be one of the first names on the teamsheet for the game against Denmark. Shaw has been solid in defence while proving to be a potent creator of goals, setting up Sterling's vital opening goal against Ze Chermans then setting up two more here, first with a fine delivery from a free-kick and then a perfect cross. It has not been a smooth ride for Shaw, who emerged as a teenager at Southampton before his big-money move to The Scum in June 2014. He has suffered serious injury at United and was, seemingly, never trusted by Jose Mourinho when he was The Scum's manager, but is now delivering for England in a major tournament - proof of his character and an achievement that makes that long road even more worthwhile. Southgate has manoeuvred his England squad with great expertise throughout Euro 2020(ish), demonstrating the riches he has at his disposal. In Rome, he was able to give a first start in the tournament to Jadon Sancho, the twenty one-year-old who has just agreed a seventy three million knicker move to The Scum from Borussia Dortmund. Sancho slotted in perfectly in place on the injured Bakayo Saka on the right side ofa three-man attack, showing huge confidence and ambition in a timely reminder of what he can offer. Moscow Chelski FC's Mount also returned the side, with two creators in the shape of Aston Villains captain Jack Grealish and Sheikh Yer Man City's Phil Foden left on the bench. Henderson, the vastly experienced Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws' captain, made his mark while Marcus Rashford was also introduced off the bench during the second half. It was proof, amid an imperious victory, that Southgate's England squad has the sort of quality and depth that will make them confident they could finally end that fifty five-year wait for success.

Everywhere you looked on the pitch there was an impressive performance from an England player. John Stones reacted well when Roman Yaremchuk found space, forcing the striker wide for his chance. Stones has not put a foot wrong all tournament. The midfield duo of Declan Rice and Kalvin Phillips were, again impressive despite both being of yellow cards (a further caution would have seen either out of the semi-finals). Rice produced another alert, composed display. Heoffered brisk passing, went close from twenty yards and was around to mop up any danger. Phillips had to be disciplined when Ukraine started to stroke the ball around midfield. Like Rice, he avoided picking up a booking that would have brought a suspension. When Kane scored the third, both were replaced by Henderson and Jude Bellingham (who, himself, showed maturity way beyond his tender years during the final thirty minutes). Sterling was, again, a constant threat with his pace and tricky. Southgate is just the second manager to take England's men to the semi-final of both the World Cup and the European Championship, after Alf Ramsey in 1966 and 1968. The Three Lions have now kept seven consecutive clean sheets for the first time in their history. They have not conceded for six hundred and sixty two minutes. This was Ukraine's joint-largest defeat in a match at a major tournament, equalling their four-nil hiding by Spain in the group stages of the 2006 World Cup. Raheem Sterling has been involved in twenty two goals in his past twenty one games for England (fifteen goals, seven assists), while Harry Kane has been involved in twenty seven in his past twenty six (eighteen goals, nine assists). Kane's double moved him level with Alan Shearer and just one behind Gary Lineker's record of ten tournament goals for England.

Luke Shaw's assist for Harry Maguire was the first time two The Scum players have combined for an England goal at a major tournament since David Beckham assisted Paul Scholes against Portugal at Euro 2000. England keeper Jordan Pickford has kept five clean sheets at Euro 2020(ish) - no keeper has ever kept more in a single staging of the competition before. Southgate warned England not to underestimate Denmark, who beat the Czech Republic in Baku on Saturday. Denmark gave England problems in the Nations League last year and have wonderful togetherness after Christian Eriksen’s cardiac arrest during their opening game of the competition against Finland. 'They're obviously riding a wave of emotion after what happened with Christian and that's understandable,' Southgate said. 'It's going to be a fantastic game to be a part of. We have got more experience as a group of those sorts of games and individually the players have experienced those games, which is definitely helpful. We still have a long way to go and we are not satisfied. Tonight is a really enjoyable night for everybody but I've got to say I was already thinking about the next challenge before the end of the game. That's the one for us – we've never been to a European Championship final. It's another opportunity to make history.' Southgate was asked whether England had ignited the nation (whatever that means). 'I know what will be happening at home and that is great,' he said. 'It's lovely to send everyone home happy on a Saturday night – beer in hand or in the air, they should enjoy it.' Southgate spoke with pride about his role in reviving England. 'When I look at the people who are in that list of England managers, you know, Sir Bobby [Robson] and Sir Alf [Ramsey], so many of the managers that have gone before, it is an absolute honour to be in that sort of company. I know how high I hold them in esteem and it's great to be able to get the results that are putting our country on the football map again really.'

Glad It's All Over

The six Premier League clubs involved in the disgraced and disgraceful European Super League fiasco have agreed to make a combined 'goodwill' payment of twenty two million smackers. The Arse, Moscow Chelski FC, The Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws, Sheikh Yer Man City, The Scum and Stottingtot Hotshots all got their greed right on and wanted to form a breakaway league. Which would, effectively, have pissed all over the other fourteen Premier League Clubs and everyone else in the English football pyramid without, seemingly, the six clubs having a single thought in their collective head other than how much disgusting wonga the greedy fekkers were going to rake in for themselves. Should they attempt any similar malarkey again, new rules mean that the clubs will be fined twenty five million knicker each and will have thirty points deducted. So, that makes any such repeat extremely unlikely. Although, it would be really funny if they tried it. Meanwhile, UEFA has temporarily paused disciplinary proceedings against Juventus, Barcelona and Real Madrid. They are the only three clubs - with their greed right on - from the twelve that signed up who are yet to accept any punishment or renounce the ESL and all its Devilish works. European football's governing body had opened disciplinary proceedings against the trio in May. In a joint statement, the Football Association and Premier League said that the English clubs had 'collectively agreed' to make a payment of twenty two million notes as 'a gesture of goodwill.' The money 'will go towards the good of the game,' it has been claimed, which includes 'new investment in support for fans' and will 'help fund grassroots and community projects.' One or two people even believed that was, actually, where the money would end up. 'The six clubs involved in proposals to form a European Super League have acknowledged once again that their actions were a mistake and have reconfirmed their commitment to the Premier League and the future of the English game,' the two bodies said in a statement. 'They have wholeheartedly apologised to their fans, fellow clubs, the Premier League and the FA.' Albeit, apologised nowhere near grovellingly enough to satisfy the impotent rage felt against these greedy louse-scum by the majority of the game's supporters, including - to be fair - many of their own. 'The Premier League and the FA have worked closely together throughout this process and this agreement brings both investigations into the matter to a conclusion,' the statement continued. The BBC Sport website claims that The Scum's owners the Glazer family, Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws owners Fenway Sports Group, The Arse's majority shareholders Kroenke Sports Enterprises and Stottingtot Hotshot's owners will pay the fine rather than their clubs. Whether the billionaire owners of Sheikh Yer Man City and Moscow Chelski FC will do likewise is not, at this time, known. Or, indeed, much cared about frankly. Former The Scum and England defender Gary Neville, who has been a vocal critic of football's governance and the ESL, tweeted the punishment was 'an absolute embarrassment.' And, for once he's absolutely correct. An average of about three-and-a-bit million quid each is roughly what these bunch of jokers spend on vol au vants for the boardroom each season. Nine of the ESL clubs - the six Premier League sides, plus AC Milan, Inter Milan and Atletico Madrid - were fined a similar amount by European governing body UEFA last month. They agreed to pay fifteen million Euros between them and have five per cent of their UEFA competition revenues held for one season, starting in 2023-24. In May, UEFA said the other three clubs involved - Real, Barca and Juve - would face 'appropriate action' having failed to distance themselves from the ESL. Media outlets were told the clubs were risking being removed from the Champions League if the case went against them, but - sadly - that now looks unlikely. The three clubs believe an order issued by a Madrid court in April that prevents UEFA taking action against them is valid in Switzerland, where the governing body is based. This has now been passed to the European Court of Justice for a ruling, which has led to the initial case being stopped. UEFA said it was 'confident' in its case and would 'continue to defend its position in all the relevant jurisdictions.' The negative reaction to the ESL has sparked a huge debate about how football is run. The government has already announced a 'fan-led review' into football governance and the prospect of an independent regulator in English football is set for a parliamentary debate after a petition, launched by a number of ex-footballers, gained more than one hundred thousand signatures.

The Premier League has agreed to roll over its existing television deal with broadcasters for a further three years. The new deal with Sky Sports, BT Sport, Amazon Prime Video and BBC Sport will run from 2022 to 2025. The current 4.7 billion knicker deal, agreed in 2018, represented a ten per cent drop in value. Which, one imagines, comes as a considerable blow to the more greedy of football's current hierarchy. They - and you - know exactly who they are. So, good news there, then. The Government has approved the deal 'in principle' with an 'exclusion order' under the competition act, which allows the league to renew without its normal tender process. 'In light of the damaging impact of the Covid-19 pandemic throughout the English football pyramid, the Premier League was able to demonstrate to Government exceptional and compelling reasons for the Exclusion Order,' the league said. As part of the new deal, BT Sport say that to help with the fixture congestion, they will change their Saturday lunchtime game to an evening slot when teams involved have played in Europe on the previous Wednesday. Clubs had been concerned that there could be another fall in value if the usual open-market auction started as planned next month. The value of rights for domestic leagues in Europe also appears to have peaked. The Premier League say that the renewals will provide financial certainty to professional clubs and also enables an additional one hundred million smackers of funding to be provided to clubs throughout the football pyramid over the next four years. The extra funding will be available to more than a thousand clubs in the National League system, women's and girls' football, EFL League One and League Two clubs and the Football Foundation. It will also support a number of football-wide projects, including the Premier League's work looking at head injuries in football, anti-discrimination and fan groups. The EFL said it 'welcomes' the increased funding but warned: 'It is important to acknowledge that the current media rights deal will preserve the status quo of an unbalanced, unsustainable and unfair financial distribution model across English football. While we recognise the attempts by the government to increase the level of solidarity provided to League One and Two clubs through this process, what is more urgently required is a fundamental reset of the game's financial model - both in terms of fairer distribution of monies at all levels and sensible, realistic cost control measures to ensure clubs will live within their means.' This blogger is decidedly unsure about this entire 'preserving The Status Quo' malarkey, however. Forty years of imaginative use of demin and ponytails is, surely, enough? 'Covid-19 has had a significant impact on football, and renewals with our UK broadcast partners will reduce uncertainty, generate stability and promote confidence within the football pyramid,' said Premier League chief executive Richard Masters. 'We know that, once concluded, this will have a positive impact on the wider industry, jobs and tax revenues.' The Football Association has welcomed the extra one hundred million knicker of funding which chief executive Mark Bullingham says will 'help the pyramid get back on its feet.' David Kogan, the former Premier League rights executive, said the government's involvement in the deal was a 'really marked difference in the way football's been run in the past.' He told BBC Radio 4's Today programme: 'This will buy the Premier League three years of some peace.' Sky Sports and BT both claimed the deal was 'good news' for its viewers. And, for their pockets, obviously.

The football season has now, pretty much concluded and socherball fans are looking forward with considerable 'oh, yeah, I'd forgotten about that' to the - much-delayed - '2020' European Championships coming up next month. But, in the meantime, now is probably an opportune moment for a round-up of how the 2020-21 season unfolded. The one hundred and forty first season in English football concluded with Sheikh Yer Man City winning the Premier League. In a season played almost entirely behind closed doors, City overcame a shaky (no pun intended) start to the campaign and secured their third Premiership title in four years; having been in eighth place in mid-December, the team went on a thirteen-match winning run that sent them rocketing up the table and, despite a couple of unexpected losses in the closing stages of the season, secured the title on top of a fourth consecutive League Cup victory and reaching their first ever Champions League final. But, they lost that one. City's local rivals, The Scum, finished second in the Premiership, despite not really being in the title race for much of the season, a consequence of a poor start which included three home losses in their opening six games; however, The Red Devils at least ensured Champions League football once again, thanks in part to a remarkable run of form which saw them go unbeaten away from home all season. But, they ended the season on a downer, losing the final of the Europa League on penalties to Villareal. The battle for the other two Champions League spots went to the final day of the season, with Moscow Chelski FC, Leicester City and The Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws all in it to win it. Taking third spot were Liverpool, whose first title defence since 1990 was, mostly, one of struggle; whilst they stood top of the league at the end of 2020, a collapse in form in the new year saw both the team's hopes of retaining the title as well as their sixty eight-game unbeaten run at Anfield implode under the weight of a lack of fans and an injury crisis, including a season-ending injury to Virgil van Dijk just five games into the campaign. However, a strong late run (including that outrageous victory over West Brom in which goalkeeper, Alisson, scored the winner in the final minute of injury time), coupled with the teams above them dropping points, helped The Reds squeeze into the top four. Moscow Chelski FC finished fourth, a strong second half of the season under new manager Thomas Tuchel pushing The Blues from as low as ninth near the end of January to both securing a Champions League spot again and winning their first Champions League final since 2012, a successful end to a mixed season (which included a second consecutive FA Cup final defeat). Having spent most of the season in the top four, another stuttering end to the league saw Leicester City finish fifth and miss out, again, on the Champions League, with inferior home form costing them badly. However, The Foxes at least finished the season with a trophy, winning their first ever FA Cup and giving Brendan Rodgers his first piece of silverware with the club. Finishing sixth were West Hamsters United, who surprised many in going further than their seventh-place finish in 2016. The Arse and Stottingtot Hotshots enjoyed differing form across their respective campaigns, The Gunners even hovering just above the drop zone in November, but ended up battling it out for seventh place and the last European spot - which ultimately went to Spurs, at least ensuring European football for the club next season. Dirty Leeds's first top-flight season since 2004 proved to be highly successful, both the team and manager Marcelo Bielsa attracting plenty of praise for their attacking brand of football and providing some spectacular results even in defeat. Despite achieving a few superb results, including taking four points off city rivals Liverpool, Everton's hopes of European football were done-for by a poor run of form at Goodison, securing just six wins compared to eleven on the road. They ended their season in a disappointing tenth position. In what proved to be Nuno Espirito Santo's last season as coach, Wolverhampton Wanderings endured a less successful campaign than their previous two, the loss of striker Raúl Jiménez to a freak accident in a win at The Arse contributed to Wolves sliding down the table after a decent start and only avoiding a relegation scrap because of the poor form of the teams below them. In what also ended up as Roy Hodgson's final season as manager, Crystal Palace also comfortably avoided the drop, extending their record run of top-flight seasons to nine in a row for the next campaign. This blogger's beloved though (still, sadly) unsellable Magpies finished a creditable twelfth thanks to a fine late run of form which, effectively (and, much to many fans severe disappointment) saved the job of Mister Bruice (nasty to see him, to see him nasty). At the bottom of the table, all three relegated teams had their demotion confirmed with at least three games to play and, for the first time since the introduction of three points for a win, none of the relegated sides broke the thirty-point barrier. Just one season after breaking into the top ten and strutting around like they owned the place, Sheffield United endured one of the worst seasons in their history, breaking many unwanted records and equalling the record for the most losses in a Premier League season and the lowest goals scored in a thirty eight-game season. Ultimately, The Blades simply weren't sharp enough. West Bromwich Albinos finished above them, the controversial decision to sack manager Slaven Bilic in December in favour of that odious lard-bucket Sam Allardyce going against The Baggies, the former England manager suffering his second relegation in his managerial history (his first since 1997). Also returning to the second tier after one season was Fulham; despite enjoying a much better campaign defensively, the London club's hopes were ultimately let down by a lack of goals (including a mere nine scored at Craven Cottage), making it the fourth season in a row where they moved between the Premier League and the Championship. Burnley and Brighton & Hove Albinos comfortably avoided the drop as a consequence of the bottom three's significant inadequacies. 

Having been relegated with a whimper the previous year, Norwich City responded in emphatic style, securing both an immediate return to the Premier League and their second Championship title in three campaigns. Finishing second were Watford, who overcame yet another mid-season managerial change (their sixth in just over a year) to join The Canaries in returning to the top-flight after one season. Taking the final promotion spot through the play-offs by beating Swansea City - and ending a barren run of nine play-off campaigns - were Brentford. Who made amends for their narrow play-off loss the previous year and secured promotion to the Premier League for the first time, their win also sending The Bees back into the top-flight for the first time in seventy four years. Despite ultimately losing out in the play-off semi-finals, Barnsley were the surprise package of the campaign; having looked likely to battle relegation again at the end of October and then seeing their head coach depart for America, the appointment of virtually unknown French manager Valérien Ismaël saw The Tykes rocket up the table and comfortably secure fifth place just ahead of Bournemouth. After having battled against relegation since losing in the play-off final in 2017, Reading also enjoyed a much improved season under Veljko Paunović, only missing out on promotion owing to several bouts of indifferent form. Despite hovering above the relegation zone for much of the season, Coventry City managed to get their shit together in their first season in the second tier since 2012, a good run of results in the closing months pushing them into mid-table whilst The Sky Blues also received some good news off-the-pitch, managing to secure a contract to return to The Ricoh Arena after two seasons away. For the second reason running, the battle to avoid relegation saw all three places open going into the last round of games. Taking bottom place in the closing minutes of the season were Sheffield Wednesday, who fought valiantly to avoid the drop, only for the points deduction (twelve later reduced to six on appeal) for breaching financial rules imposed prior to the start of the season result in survival falling out of their reachand sending the Yorkshire club back into the third tier after a nine-year absence. Rotherham United finished second-bottom and were relegated back to League One, making this the fifth successive season in which they swapped between the two divisions; despite ending up as statistically the worst team in the division, they managed to keep themselves in contention for survival - mostly because of having a multitude of games in hand as a result of two COVID-19 outbreaks - and would, actually, have survived had they not conceded an eighty eighth-minute equaliser in their final match. Despite having what proved to be a spirited first season in the Championship, Wycombe Wanderers endured immediate relegation back to League One, their chances ultimately being undone by a dreadful start which saw them lose their first seven games. Derby County, who struggled all season following the appointment of Wayne Rooney as manager in November, would also have been relegated if not for Wednesday's points deduction; they did secure survival on the final day by holding Wednesday to a draw, albeit the result would have relegated them both without Rotherham conceding that late equaliser at Cardiff.

Playing in the third tier for the first time since 2005, Hull City made amends for their dramatic collapse in form and consequent relegation the previous season, this time being in the top two for almost the entire campaign and ultimately emerging as League One champions. Peterborough United finished as runners-up, making this the third time that manager Darren Ferguson had taken The Posh into the Championship and his fourth promotion with the club overall; Peterborough successfully achieved promotion in a three-three draw with Lincoln City. Qualifying for the play-off final were Blackpool and Lincoln with The Seasiders winning the final, two-one at Wembley to secured their return to the Championship for the first time since 2015. Whilst missing out on promotion yet again, The Mackem Filth did at least secure some success, winning the EFL Trophy whilst also gaining new ownership, in the form of businessman Kyril Louis-Dreyfus. Nevertheless, their defeat to Lincoln in the play-offs will be a bitter blow to Sunderland's long-suffering support who now face a fourth season in the third tier. So that's, like, really sad, obviously. A poor start to the campaign for Burton Albion saw The Brewers pulled into a relegation battle, which was won with games to spare following the return of influential manager Jimmy Floyd Hasselhoff for a second spell as manager. Wigan Not Very Athletic endured what proved to be yet another turbulent season both on and off the pitch, battling both a potential second successive relegation (and a potential fourth in seven seasons) and an uncertain future; however, a good run of form late in the season which coincided with The Latics finding new ownership saved the club from the drop. Bristol Rovers finished rock bottom and returned to League Two for the first time in five years, with three different managers - the most recent being Joey Barton - all trying and failing to improve the club's fortunes. Swindon Town's season rapidly fell apart after promotion-winning manager Richie Wellens moved to Salford City early in the campaign, finishing the season with both the most defeats and the worst defence in the division as they suffered relegation back to League Two; fellow newly-promoted side Northampton Town joined them in immediate relegation, The Cobblers being undone by a terrible run during the winter. Rochdale occupied the fourth relegation spot, bringing an end to their longest spell to date in the third tier and finally enduring the relegation they had battled against in previous seasons. Elsewhere, Ipswich Town finished ninth, Accrington Stanley in eleventh and Fleetwood Town in fifteenth. 

In a campaign marked with constant changes among the top three, Cheltenham Town secured promotion back to League One for the first time since 2009, having stayed in the promotion race for nearly the entire season before edging back into the top three in late February. The battle for both the remaining automatic promotion places and the play-off spots ended up going to the final day, with eight different clubs involved. Taking second and third place were Cambridge United and Notlob Wanderers; despite a poor run of form in December, promotion had never looked unlikely for Cambridge, The U's securing promotion to the third tier for the first time since 2002, giving manager Mark Bonner the first promotion of his managerial career. Having spent the majority of the season looking likely to battle a third successive relegation, a surge in form in 2021 saw Notlob head up the table and edge into third place, securing an immediate return to League One. Qualifying for the play-off final were Morecambe (without Wise), a remarkable achievement considering their consistent battles against relegation in the previous seasons and Newport County, who successfully saw off Forest Green Rovers in a tightly fought semi-final second leg. Morecambe (sans Wise) ultimately gained promotion thanks to a controversial penalty in extra-time. In their first ever Football League season, Harrogate Town defied all expectations and achieved safety with a number of games to spare - whilst inconsistent form prevented the Yorkshire side from challenging for promotion, they were never in any serious danger of an immediate return to non-league football. Barrow's first Football League season for forty eight years saw the club ultimately secure survival against all odds - whilst first hit by the loss of manager Ian Evatt to Notlob and then sacking two different replacements before the end of February with results and form looking bleak, the club managed to pull themselves over the line thanks in part to caretaker manager Rob Kelly, who oversaw ten of The Bluebirds' thirteen wins in both his caretaker spells. Scunthorpe United endured the worst season in their one hundred and twenty two year history, finishing third bottom of the league though results elsewhere meant their defeat to Stevenage on the final day of the season did not send them out of the league. Grimsby Town had a season full of struggle and woe on and off the pitch which culminated in relegation - with even the return of manager Paul Hurst, who had overseen their return to the Football League in 2016, failing to help the club escape another drop into the National League. Finishing just above them were Southend United, who suffered their second consecutive relegation and fell out of the Football League for the first time in their history, a run of just one win in their opening fifteen games on top of an inability to score (their twenty nine goals being the lowest scored by anyone in a twenty four-team division since 1982) ended up setting the tone for the club's hopes. And, in similar circumstances to Grimsby, the return of former manager Phil Brown late in the season proved unable to save The Shrimpers from losing their one hundred and one-year Football League status. In a season marked with different teams taking top spot in the National League across the season, as well as postponement, delays and expunged results off the field, Sutton United finished top in their penultimate game and secured promotion to the Football League for the first time in their one hundred and twenty three-year history. The battle to qualify for the play-offs saw the last two spots open going into the final round of games. Torquay United and Stockport County finished second and third, with the play-off quarter-final places being taken by Hartlepool United, Notts County, Chesterfield and Bromley. Mounting financial problems finally took its toll on Macclesfield Town, who were expelled from the National League and then finally wound up in the High Court before the campaign even began - the only positive coming late in the season, with the creation of Macclesfield FC and the new club being given the go-ahead to enter the tenth tier for next season. Dover Athletic also encountered financial problems, which resulted in the team refusing to play due to a lack of promised funding and their results expunged for the season. As a result of the National League electing to declare the sixth tier null and void, no teams were relegated or promoted between the fifth and sixth tiers; a combination of all these factors proved beneficial for King's Lynn Town and Barnet, who were at threat of being cut adrift at the bottom of the table with the most losses and the worst defences in the division, ensuring fifth tier status for both clubs for next season.

Mirage At The Oasis

In the least unexpected news of the year the Saudi Arabian-backed consortium has ended its bid to buy Newcastle United. As anyone as cynical as this blogger about the fortunes of his beloved (though, tragically unsellable) Magpies kind-of expected would happen from the moment the proposed takeover was first announced. The group, which included Saudi Arabia's sovereign wealth-fund PIF, PCP Capital Partners and Reuben Brothers, had agreed a three hundred million knicker deal to buy the club from Mike Ashley in April. The deal was still being scrutinised under the Premier League's owners' and directors' test and it is understood PIF ran out of patience after the process has gone on and on and on. And on. The consortium said that it was 'with regret' that it had pulled out. Amanda Staveley, the British businesswoman behind PCP Partners, said she was 'upset' for the club's supporters. Though, not half as upset as the supporters themselves who are now that they find themselves, once again, stuck with the much-loathed Ashley with, seemingly, no Plan B on the table. 'It's awful,' she said, adding that there would have been huge investment in the area. 'We are devastated for the fans. We really thank the fans - I personally thank them for all their support.' Friday saw the Newcastle United Supporters Trust write to their members, pledging to 'once again attempt to engage in constructive dialogue with the Premier League to get Newcastle United supporters the answers they deserve.' Well, good luck with that. They have also released the text of a previous letter they sent to the PL - and the appallingly formulaic reply which it produced. As they rightly observe: 'A supposedly confidential process has been confidential only to football supporters, as disgraced broadcasters in the Middle East, UK broadsheet newspapers and many others have claimed to have spoken to Premier League "sources" about why this deal "should not go through."' For what it's worth, this blogger always had some moral problems with the idea of members of one of the world's most repressive human rights regimes taking over at St James' Park. However, the staggering hypocrisy of a number of MPs who have done their best to scupper the deal whilst, seemingly, having no problems whatsoever with successive British governments selling arms to the Saudis and the barely-hidden agenda of most of those opposed to the deal on entirely financial rather than human rights grounds does leave an extremely sour taste in the mouth. So, as usual, the people we've been most shafted in this protracted and, ultimately pointless, exercise have been the long-suffering supporters of the club. We get left with Mike Ashley - someone whom, according to the Premier League, at least -is a 'fit and proper person.' As Jimmy Greaves would regularly observe, dear blog reader, football - 'it's a funny old game.'

Political Footballs

This blogger's favourite article of the week comes, oddly, from the much-loathed Gruniad Morning Star. But, at least, it's by From The North favourite, the columnist Marina Hyde: Marcus Rashford Is Showing Our Failing Politicians How To Do Their Jobs. To quote Marina, at some length: 'We'll come to Gavin Williamson, the forty three-year-old secretary of state for education, in due course. Suffice to say Gavin has gone so missing in the biggest game of his career that the coastguard has called off the search and it has now become a matter for the Hubble telescope. As for the prime minister, shortly before Marcus Rashford was born to a single mother who he idolises for her tireless work and sacrifices, Boris Johnson was writing that single mothers were producing a generation of "ill-raised, ignorant, aggressive and illegitimate children." Which, let's face it, means so much more coming from him. For now, a reminder of where we were two-and-a-half months ago. Taking the podium at a government press conference, even as Covid-Nineteen was ripping silently through the care homes he'd later lie he'd put "a ring of steel" around, Gavin's cabinet colleague Matt Hancock was very keen to show he had his priorities in order. "I think the first thing that Premier League footballers can do is make a contribution," Matt proclaimed. "Take a pay cut and play their part." It must have seemed such an easy win, for politicians who know nothing about footballers, or indeed about football. Or, increasingly, about winning. Just a reminder of where the "world-beating" UK currently is: we have the third highest death toll in the world, the OECD has predicted we will have the worst-hit economy in the developed world and we are on course for one of the slowest and most socially painful exits from lockdown. If this is world-beating I'd hate to see us lose. I don't need to tell you that during this entire shitshow, under their exclusive management, the government has only suggested a single group in our society should take a pay cut: Premier League footballers. To dispense with the more irrelevant end of the housekeeping first: Premier League players were going to take a pay cut anyway when Matt was going for his headline; they announced the thirty per cent reduction within hours; and have since contributed in a vast - and mostly unpublicised - number of ways to social and charitable initiatives within their communities and beyond. But even if they had done absolutely none of that – genuinely unthinkable – imagine Matt Hancock, secretary of state for health in a time of pandemic, spending even one minute having a view on what footballers were doing. Because that actually happened. I know the buzzphrase is "easy to say in hindsight" - but on the basis that I wrote about it at the time, I'm going to have to go with "easy to say in sight." This is not a matter of retrospect - it was always a matter of spect.' What she said.

Still on the subject of ignorant shite-scum politicians using football as a political, well, football basically, a third MP - one Angus MacNeill (no, me neither) - has written to trade secretary Liz Truss to 'voice his concerns' over the proposed takeover of this blogger's beloved (though, tragically unsellable) Newcastle United. MacNeill demanded - demanded - that the government should 'block' the Saudi Arabian-led takeover (whether the government can, legally, do so even if they wanted to is something of an unknown, just in case you were wondering). Like his parliamentary colleagues Karl McCartney and Giles Watling, however, MacNeill did not do so from a human rights point of view (which, to be honest, would be difficult to argue against, even for the biggest supporters of the proposed deal - which this blogger is not, see below). Rather, MacNeill's chief objection - as with his colleagues - is, seemingly, over the issue of TV piracy. Earlier this week the World Trade Organisation ruled that Saudi Arabia had, indeed, helped to breach international piracy laws in relation to the broadcaster beoutQ. MacNeill - like McCartney and Watling - however stopped well-short of suggesting that if Saudi Arabia are, indeed, such a pariah who casually flout international law, then the British government should, also, stop trading with them, selling them vast quantities of arms and other British-made products and making lots of lovely wonga in the process. So, is this crass, ignorant, twattish hypocrisy from a politician? This blogger will leave the answer to that question entirely up to your own sensibilities, dear blog reader. He, himself, couldn't possibly comment. But it is certainly illustrative that - as with virtually everything else involved in football - money is, seemingly, King and human rights are 'someone else's problem.'

Regular dear blog readers will have noticed that this blogger has said nothing previously about the ongoing saga of the - at the time of writing, still-proposed - takeover of his local football club. Except a brief note a few bloggerisationisms back. And, that was merely to observe it says much about the way in which the current owner of the club is so despised by the majority of supporters that they would, seemingly, prefer to see the club majority-owned by members of one of the most harsh and repressive political regimes in the world. Because, compared to the bloke who owns Sports Direct, Saudi Arabia's a haven of integrity and enlightenment, right? If this blogger was Mike Ashley, dear blog reader (which he most definitely isn't, just in case you were wondering), he would be laughing his non-cotton sports socks off at such thinking. Before going back to counting his vast wads of moolah and laughing some more.
    Anyway, the latest twist in the ongoing - and, seemingly, never-ending - saga is that the Premier League chief executive Richard Masters has, reportedly, said he will 'fully consider' calls for Newcastle United's proposed takeover to be blocked. Which this blogger somehow doubts ... and he's not alone in that belief, it would seem. Hatice Cengiz, the fiancee of the murdered journalist Jamal Khashoggi, has written to the league to oppose the deal. Saudi Arabia's Public Investment Fund is financing a three hundred million knicker takeover along with some marginally more morally-acceptable partners like the businesswoman and financier Amanda Staveley and the Reuben Brothers. Western intelligence agencies have publicly stated they believe Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, who heads the PIF, was behind Khashoggi's shocking murder in 2018 - claims which bin Salman himself denies. Though, to paraphrase Mandy Rice Davies, 'well, he would, wouldn't he?'
      In a letter seen by BBC Sport, Masters told Cengiz's lawyer: 'I assure you and your client that her representations are being fully considered in our process.' Cengiz's legal team say it is the first acknowledgement by the Premier League that her views are 'being taken into account' in the takeover, which is being checked under the league's owners' and directors' test. In the letter, Masters also writes to Rodney Dixon QC to say that although he 'remains extremely sympathetic to your client's position' a requested meeting between the parties is 'not possible, particularly in light of correspondence appearing in the media.' Checks under the league's owners' and directors' test have been going on for more than six weeks and show no sign of being decided - one way or another - any time soon. In a statement to BBC Sport, Cengiz said: 'I'm cautiously optimistic the Premier League will make the right decision. I'm sure that if the Premier League follows its own rules and charter, especially the owners' and directors' test, it will block the sale of Newcastle United to Mohamed bin Salman and the Public Investment Fund he chairs. Until Bin Salman is held accountable for his role in Jamal's brutal murder, everyone must refrain from doing any business with him.' 'In addition to concerns about Saudi Arabia's human rights record, broadcast piracy claims have also been raised,' BBC Sports notes. Actually, that's not true in the slightest - questions have, indeed, been asked in parliament by at last two MPs on this subject but neither have even mentioned Saudi Arabia's human rights records. In May 2020, two Conservative MPs called on the government to scrutinise 'aspects of the deal,' with Karl McCartney calling for the sale to be 'blocked' and Giles Watling demanding - demanding - that the Department for Digital, Culture, Media & Sport hold 'an oral evidence session' regarding media piracy in Saudi Arabia. It would be extremely hypocritical for any British politician - particularly a Tory - to go down the human rights route given that the UK is amongst the biggest trading partners with Saudi Arabia and that members of the Saudi royal family are regular visitors to both Downing Street and Buckingham Palace. Rather, the main highlighted issue - as with almost everything else in the football world - is financial. The broadcaster beoutQ has, allegedly, been illegally showing matches - mainly in Saudi Arabia - despite the Premier League rights in the region belonging to Qatar-based beIN Sports. Saudi broadcaster Arabsat has always denied that beoutQ uses its frequencies to show games illegally. One or two people even believed them. Dixon, on behalf of Cengiz, has previously written to Masters saying there should be 'no place in English football' for anyone 'involved in such abhorrent acts.' Cengiz has also written an open letter to Newcastle fans urging them to 'unite to protect' the club from the proposed takeover, for which the PIF is set to provide eighty per cent of funds. The Newcastle United Supporters' Trust has been publicly sympathetic to Cengiz's stance - and, indeed, one would have to possess a heart made of stone not to - and says that it 'understands' concerns about Saudi Arabia's human rights record. However, it says it has 'no influence' on who takes over the club. They say they will raise issues about Saudi Arabia's human rights record even if they support the prospective takeover. In an online forum, which involved over two thousand supporters, NUST chair Alex Hurst said: 'We exist to be a critical friend of the club, and hold them to account.' Last month, a NUST poll of three thousand plus members found ninety six per cent were in favour of the new consortium to replace current - hated - owner Mike Ashley, who has been in charge of Newcastle for thirteen inglorious years.
   This blogger's own view on this complicated malarkey? If this were purely a human rights issue then it's difficult not to be hugely conflicted by the whole deal - despite the obvious potential win-win situation of saying goodbye forever to the loathsome Ashley. But, of course, it isn't. Despite occasional evidence to the contrary, not everything in life is black and white.

Joelinton scored only his second Premier League goal - and the first since 25 August - as this blogger's beloved though still unsellable (even to oil-rich, alleged human-rights-abusing, alleged pirates) Magpies swept aside ten-man Sheffield United to take a huge step towards safety in their first game since all sport in the UK was suspended in March. The relief on the Brazilian striker's face was evident when he tapped in the Magpies' third goal and, although there were no fans inside St James' Park to celebrate with him, no doubt many were screaming with delight (and, probably, astonishment) from their front rooms as the forty million knicker striker ended his torrid run. And managed not to trip over his own feet in the process. This blogger certainly was. That was the icing on a properly-sweet Magpies cake, baked in an eerily quiet St James' with the only noise heard being frequent bursts of bad language coming from the Sheffield United bench which had the Sky Sports commentary team squirming with embarrassment and grovellingly apologising to viewers. Most of whom, one suspects, frankly couldn't have given a flying fuck about such nonsense. Returning to competitive action after an enforced one hundred and six day break since a victory at Southampton, ten of the eleven fielded at St Mary's by Newcastle were retained, Joelinton returning at the expense of Dwight Gayle. Despite playing their first match since the restart, Th' Toon looked far fresher and more interested than their opponents who produced one of their worst defensive displays of the season, capped off by the red card for John Egan five minutes after the break. It means Chris Wilder's side, who drew against Aston Villains in their opening match back, have taken just one point from two games. As for Newcastle, who have been dealing with that never-ending takeover saga during the lockdown (you knew that, right?), they now have thirty eight points and are eleven points above the drop-zone. Allan Saint-Maximin sent them on their way when he fired home at the far post after Enda Stevens inexplicably allowed Matt Ritchie's fizzing cross to go between his legs. Ritchie then added a second with a thunderous drive from the edge of the area. Then came Joelinton's strike from close range after Miguel Almiron delivered a pinpoint ball to his feet. Newcastle stay at home for their next match against the struggling Villains. Steve Bruccie's team selections, particularly his seeming reluctance to drop Joelinton, had frustrated many supporters and now the possibility of new, moneyed owners from Saudi Arabia has cast further doubt on the future of the manager. But now and again Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) has confounded his critics this season (this blogger very much included) with wins over Stottingtot Hotshots, The Scum, Moscow Chelski FC and, now, this double over The Blunt Blades. His side produced a disciplined display with plenty of verve and pace provided by Saint-Maximin, Almiron and Ritchie. Saint-Maximin, in particular, was excellent. The twenty million smackers summer signing now seems a snip for the twenty three-year-old who embarrassed the visiting defence with his trickery and bursts of speed, before he got his just reward in the fifty fifth minute. Ritchie added the second fourteen minutes later with the goal of the game - a fierce drive which was too hot to handle for Dean Henderson. And, with twelve minutes remaining, Joelinton, who had arsed-up what seemed a relatively easy chance in the first half by tripping over his own feet, scored his second league goal for the club - two thousand one hundred and thirty minutes and thirty nine shots at goal after scoring the first. (To be completely fair to the lad, he has scored a couple of goals in the FA Cup during that period and another two in recent friendlies.) Wilder's post-match talk to his team might not be repeatable in polite company (or, on Sky Sports). His side's success thus far this season has been built on unwavering discipline and a miserly defence - the second best in the league before Sunday - but neither were evident here. There were suggestions something was not right early in the match when midfielder Oliver Norwood lost possession far too easily on a couple of occasions before Egan got caught up in an unnecessary altercation with Joelinton which earned him a yellow card. That became two yellows for the Irishman in the fiftieth minute when he got on the wrong side of the striker, who he pulled back as Joelinton tried to run in on goal. Referee David Coote was given an easy decision and sent Egan for an early bath. If Wilder had his face in his hands at that moment, worse was to follow. For Newcastle's first, the usually dependable Stevens got his legs in a muddle as he tried to stop Ritchie's ball finding Saint-Maximin at the back post and for the second, right-back George Baldock's reluctance to close down Ritchie gave the Scot room to shoot whilst Henderson's positioning for the shot was also questionable.