Political Footballs

This blogger's favourite article of the week comes, oddly, from the much-loathed Gruniad Morning Star. But, at least, it's by From The North favourite, the columnist Marina Hyde: Marcus Rashford Is Showing Our Failing Politicians How To Do Their Jobs. To quote Marina, at some length: 'We'll come to Gavin Williamson, the forty three-year-old secretary of state for education, in due course. Suffice to say Gavin has gone so missing in the biggest game of his career that the coastguard has called off the search and it has now become a matter for the Hubble telescope. As for the prime minister, shortly before Marcus Rashford was born to a single mother who he idolises for her tireless work and sacrifices, Boris Johnson was writing that single mothers were producing a generation of "ill-raised, ignorant, aggressive and illegitimate children." Which, let's face it, means so much more coming from him. For now, a reminder of where we were two-and-a-half months ago. Taking the podium at a government press conference, even as Covid-Nineteen was ripping silently through the care homes he'd later lie he'd put "a ring of steel" around, Gavin's cabinet colleague Matt Hancock was very keen to show he had his priorities in order. "I think the first thing that Premier League footballers can do is make a contribution," Matt proclaimed. "Take a pay cut and play their part." It must have seemed such an easy win, for politicians who know nothing about footballers, or indeed about football. Or, increasingly, about winning. Just a reminder of where the "world-beating" UK currently is: we have the third highest death toll in the world, the OECD has predicted we will have the worst-hit economy in the developed world and we are on course for one of the slowest and most socially painful exits from lockdown. If this is world-beating I'd hate to see us lose. I don't need to tell you that during this entire shitshow, under their exclusive management, the government has only suggested a single group in our society should take a pay cut: Premier League footballers. To dispense with the more irrelevant end of the housekeeping first: Premier League players were going to take a pay cut anyway when Matt was going for his headline; they announced the thirty per cent reduction within hours; and have since contributed in a vast - and mostly unpublicised - number of ways to social and charitable initiatives within their communities and beyond. But even if they had done absolutely none of that – genuinely unthinkable – imagine Matt Hancock, secretary of state for health in a time of pandemic, spending even one minute having a view on what footballers were doing. Because that actually happened. I know the buzzphrase is "easy to say in hindsight" - but on the basis that I wrote about it at the time, I'm going to have to go with "easy to say in sight." This is not a matter of retrospect - it was always a matter of spect.' What she said.

Still on the subject of ignorant shite-scum politicians using football as a political, well, football basically, a third MP - one Angus MacNeill (no, me neither) - has written to trade secretary Liz Truss to 'voice his concerns' over the proposed takeover of this blogger's beloved (though, tragically unsellable) Newcastle United. MacNeill demanded - demanded - that the government should 'block' the Saudi Arabian-led takeover (whether the government can, legally, do so even if they wanted to is something of an unknown, just in case you were wondering). Like his parliamentary colleagues Karl McCartney and Giles Watling, however, MacNeill did not do so from a human rights point of view (which, to be honest, would be difficult to argue against, even for the biggest supporters of the proposed deal - which this blogger is not, see below). Rather, MacNeill's chief objection - as with his colleagues - is, seemingly, over the issue of TV piracy. Earlier this week the World Trade Organisation ruled that Saudi Arabia had, indeed, helped to breach international piracy laws in relation to the broadcaster beoutQ. MacNeill - like McCartney and Watling - however stopped well-short of suggesting that if Saudi Arabia are, indeed, such a pariah who casually flout international law, then the British government should, also, stop trading with them, selling them vast quantities of arms and other British-made products and making lots of lovely wonga in the process. So, is this crass, ignorant, twattish hypocrisy from a politician? This blogger will leave the answer to that question entirely up to your own sensibilities, dear blog reader. He, himself, couldn't possibly comment. But it is certainly illustrative that - as with virtually everything else involved in football - money is, seemingly, King and human rights are 'someone else's problem.'

Regular dear blog readers will have noticed that this blogger has said nothing previously about the ongoing saga of the - at the time of writing, still-proposed - takeover of his local football club. Except a brief note a few bloggerisationisms back. And, that was merely to observe it says much about the way in which the current owner of the club is so despised by the majority of supporters that they would, seemingly, prefer to see the club majority-owned by members of one of the most harsh and repressive political regimes in the world. Because, compared to the bloke who owns Sports Direct, Saudi Arabia's a haven of integrity and enlightenment, right? If this blogger was Mike Ashley, dear blog reader (which he most definitely isn't, just in case you were wondering), he would be laughing his non-cotton sports socks off at such thinking. Before going back to counting his vast wads of moolah and laughing some more.
    Anyway, the latest twist in the ongoing - and, seemingly, never-ending - saga is that the Premier League chief executive Richard Masters has, reportedly, said he will 'fully consider' calls for Newcastle United's proposed takeover to be blocked. Which this blogger somehow doubts ... and he's not alone in that belief, it would seem. Hatice Cengiz, the fiancee of the murdered journalist Jamal Khashoggi, has written to the league to oppose the deal. Saudi Arabia's Public Investment Fund is financing a three hundred million knicker takeover along with some marginally more morally-acceptable partners like the businesswoman and financier Amanda Staveley and the Reuben Brothers. Western intelligence agencies have publicly stated they believe Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, who heads the PIF, was behind Khashoggi's shocking murder in 2018 - claims which bin Salman himself denies. Though, to paraphrase Mandy Rice Davies, 'well, he would, wouldn't he?'
      In a letter seen by BBC Sport, Masters told Cengiz's lawyer: 'I assure you and your client that her representations are being fully considered in our process.' Cengiz's legal team say it is the first acknowledgement by the Premier League that her views are 'being taken into account' in the takeover, which is being checked under the league's owners' and directors' test. In the letter, Masters also writes to Rodney Dixon QC to say that although he 'remains extremely sympathetic to your client's position' a requested meeting between the parties is 'not possible, particularly in light of correspondence appearing in the media.' Checks under the league's owners' and directors' test have been going on for more than six weeks and show no sign of being decided - one way or another - any time soon. In a statement to BBC Sport, Cengiz said: 'I'm cautiously optimistic the Premier League will make the right decision. I'm sure that if the Premier League follows its own rules and charter, especially the owners' and directors' test, it will block the sale of Newcastle United to Mohamed bin Salman and the Public Investment Fund he chairs. Until Bin Salman is held accountable for his role in Jamal's brutal murder, everyone must refrain from doing any business with him.' 'In addition to concerns about Saudi Arabia's human rights record, broadcast piracy claims have also been raised,' BBC Sports notes. Actually, that's not true in the slightest - questions have, indeed, been asked in parliament by at last two MPs on this subject but neither have even mentioned Saudi Arabia's human rights records. In May 2020, two Conservative MPs called on the government to scrutinise 'aspects of the deal,' with Karl McCartney calling for the sale to be 'blocked' and Giles Watling demanding - demanding - that the Department for Digital, Culture, Media & Sport hold 'an oral evidence session' regarding media piracy in Saudi Arabia. It would be extremely hypocritical for any British politician - particularly a Tory - to go down the human rights route given that the UK is amongst the biggest trading partners with Saudi Arabia and that members of the Saudi royal family are regular visitors to both Downing Street and Buckingham Palace. Rather, the main highlighted issue - as with almost everything else in the football world - is financial. The broadcaster beoutQ has, allegedly, been illegally showing matches - mainly in Saudi Arabia - despite the Premier League rights in the region belonging to Qatar-based beIN Sports. Saudi broadcaster Arabsat has always denied that beoutQ uses its frequencies to show games illegally. One or two people even believed them. Dixon, on behalf of Cengiz, has previously written to Masters saying there should be 'no place in English football' for anyone 'involved in such abhorrent acts.' Cengiz has also written an open letter to Newcastle fans urging them to 'unite to protect' the club from the proposed takeover, for which the PIF is set to provide eighty per cent of funds. The Newcastle United Supporters' Trust has been publicly sympathetic to Cengiz's stance - and, indeed, one would have to possess a heart made of stone not to - and says that it 'understands' concerns about Saudi Arabia's human rights record. However, it says it has 'no influence' on who takes over the club. They say they will raise issues about Saudi Arabia's human rights record even if they support the prospective takeover. In an online forum, which involved over two thousand supporters, NUST chair Alex Hurst said: 'We exist to be a critical friend of the club, and hold them to account.' Last month, a NUST poll of three thousand plus members found ninety six per cent were in favour of the new consortium to replace current - hated - owner Mike Ashley, who has been in charge of Newcastle for thirteen inglorious years.
   This blogger's own view on this complicated malarkey? If this were purely a human rights issue then it's difficult not to be hugely conflicted by the whole deal - despite the obvious potential win-win situation of saying goodbye forever to the loathsome Ashley. But, of course, it isn't. Despite occasional evidence to the contrary, not everything in life is black and white.

Joelinton scored only his second Premier League goal - and the first since 25 August - as this blogger's beloved though still unsellable (even to oil-rich, alleged human-rights-abusing, alleged pirates) Magpies swept aside ten-man Sheffield United to take a huge step towards safety in their first game since all sport in the UK was suspended in March. The relief on the Brazilian striker's face was evident when he tapped in the Magpies' third goal and, although there were no fans inside St James' Park to celebrate with him, no doubt many were screaming with delight (and, probably, astonishment) from their front rooms as the forty million knicker striker ended his torrid run. And managed not to trip over his own feet in the process. This blogger certainly was. That was the icing on a properly-sweet Magpies cake, baked in an eerily quiet St James' with the only noise heard being frequent bursts of bad language coming from the Sheffield United bench which had the Sky Sports commentary team squirming with embarrassment and grovellingly apologising to viewers. Most of whom, one suspects, frankly couldn't have given a flying fuck about such nonsense. Returning to competitive action after an enforced one hundred and six day break since a victory at Southampton, ten of the eleven fielded at St Mary's by Newcastle were retained, Joelinton returning at the expense of Dwight Gayle. Despite playing their first match since the restart, Th' Toon looked far fresher and more interested than their opponents who produced one of their worst defensive displays of the season, capped off by the red card for John Egan five minutes after the break. It means Chris Wilder's side, who drew against Aston Villains in their opening match back, have taken just one point from two games. As for Newcastle, who have been dealing with that never-ending takeover saga during the lockdown (you knew that, right?), they now have thirty eight points and are eleven points above the drop-zone. Allan Saint-Maximin sent them on their way when he fired home at the far post after Enda Stevens inexplicably allowed Matt Ritchie's fizzing cross to go between his legs. Ritchie then added a second with a thunderous drive from the edge of the area. Then came Joelinton's strike from close range after Miguel Almiron delivered a pinpoint ball to his feet. Newcastle stay at home for their next match against the struggling Villains. Steve Bruccie's team selections, particularly his seeming reluctance to drop Joelinton, had frustrated many supporters and now the possibility of new, moneyed owners from Saudi Arabia has cast further doubt on the future of the manager. But now and again Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) has confounded his critics this season (this blogger very much included) with wins over Stottingtot Hotshots, The Scum, Moscow Chelski FC and, now, this double over The Blunt Blades. His side produced a disciplined display with plenty of verve and pace provided by Saint-Maximin, Almiron and Ritchie. Saint-Maximin, in particular, was excellent. The twenty million smackers summer signing now seems a snip for the twenty three-year-old who embarrassed the visiting defence with his trickery and bursts of speed, before he got his just reward in the fifty fifth minute. Ritchie added the second fourteen minutes later with the goal of the game - a fierce drive which was too hot to handle for Dean Henderson. And, with twelve minutes remaining, Joelinton, who had arsed-up what seemed a relatively easy chance in the first half by tripping over his own feet, scored his second league goal for the club - two thousand one hundred and thirty minutes and thirty nine shots at goal after scoring the first. (To be completely fair to the lad, he has scored a couple of goals in the FA Cup during that period and another two in recent friendlies.) Wilder's post-match talk to his team might not be repeatable in polite company (or, on Sky Sports). His side's success thus far this season has been built on unwavering discipline and a miserly defence - the second best in the league before Sunday - but neither were evident here. There were suggestions something was not right early in the match when midfielder Oliver Norwood lost possession far too easily on a couple of occasions before Egan got caught up in an unnecessary altercation with Joelinton which earned him a yellow card. That became two yellows for the Irishman in the fiftieth minute when he got on the wrong side of the striker, who he pulled back as Joelinton tried to run in on goal. Referee David Coote was given an easy decision and sent Egan for an early bath. If Wilder had his face in his hands at that moment, worse was to follow. For Newcastle's first, the usually dependable Stevens got his legs in a muddle as he tried to stop Ritchie's ball finding Saint-Maximin at the back post and for the second, right-back George Baldock's reluctance to close down Ritchie gave the Scot room to shoot whilst Henderson's positioning for the shot was also questionable.

Isaac Gives Chelski The Blues

This blogger's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies won for the first time in the league this year with an outrageous late winner from Isaac Hayden against Scowling Frank Lampard's Moscow Chelski FC at St James' Park on Saturday evening. A corner deep into added time looked to have provided United with a final chance to steal the points but Matt Ritchie's kick was cleared as the fourth added minute approached its conclusion. However, Allan Saint-Maximin gathered the clearance, took a touch and put over a cross for Hayden to head into the Gallowgate goal to spark scenes of wild celebration with kids gettin' sparked an' aal sorts. Referee Chris Kavanagh allowed the visitors one further attack but once that was cleared the official blew for full-time and three vital Premier League points were secured by the Black n' Whites. The second period had seen the visitors largely camped in United's half, although they had created few clear openings to worry Steve Brucie's side who had defended resolutely. Jamaal Lascelles was back at the heart of the defence and also returning were Jonjo Shelvey and Saint-Maximin, as the injury crisis which has plagued The Magpies for the past few weeks started to subside. But Jetro Willems was stretchered from the field in just the twelfth minute as what seemed to be an innocuous collision with Callum Hudson-Odoi had him immediately signalling to the bench. Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him nasty) subsequently confirmed that Willems had suffered an apparently serious knee injury. That early setback didn't curb the home side's initial enthusiasm and in the twenty second minute Federico Fernandez supplied a cross for Joelinton who guided a header against the bar. Twelve minutes later Tammy Abraham struck Martin Dubravka's crossbar, although he had been flagged offside but N'Golo Kanté should have scored when clear on the right of the box, only to be denied by the 'keeper's left leg. At the other end Fernandez got the end of a Shelvey free-kick and seemed certain to head home but his effort went high. After the break there was almost no threat from the black and whites but for all the Moscow Chelski FC possession, there were only half chances for Willian and Abraham and Dubravka had remarkably few saves to make. Then with two minutes to go, Miguel Almirón played a fine ball to the far post which was headed back to Joelinton by Saint-Maximin. But the Brazilian swung wildly and sliced his effort wide. Nevertheless, Joelinton managed to win a corner in the final minute of added time and Matt Ritchie was roared into the Strawberry Corner as he prepared to delivered it. The corner was headed clear but then came Saint-Maximin's glorious curling ball into the box and Hayden got his connection spot-on to beat Kepa Arribazalaga who could only get an ineffective hand to his header leaving Moscow Chelski FC's manager, Frank Lampard, looking his someone sucking a lemon at the final whistle. Lampard subsequently whinged that his team has 'dominated every aspect' of the game. Except for scoring the most goals, obviously. Hayden had filled in at right back, with Emile Krafth being replaced by Sean Longstaff.

Elsewhere, Sheikh Yer Man City threw away the chance of a win in a dramatic climax at Etihad Stadium, while bottom-of-the-table Norwich City battled for a much-needed victory over strugglers Bournemouth. Two goals from Sergio Aguero inside the last ten minutes looked to have helped champions City to victory over Crystal Palace, but Fernandinho's own goal just before stoppage time ensured the sides drew two-two. At the bottom of the table, Teemu Pukki's first-half penalty was enough for Norwich to claim victory over Bournemouth, who are now only one place and three points above The Canaries, as both sides finished with ten men. Wolverhampton Wanderings fought back from two goals down at half-time for a superb three-two win at Southampton, with one goal from Pedro Neto and two from Raul Jimenez moving them up into sixth place. The Arse were closing in on victory at home to Sheffield United, but The Blades fought back with a late John Fleck goal ensuring a draw. Watford missed out on the chance of a fourth straight win when Troy Deeney had a penalty saved by Stottingtot Hotshots keeper Paulo Gazzaniga, but the goalless draw means Nigel Pearson's Hornets are unbeaten in seven games. Hundreds of West Hamsters United fans protested about the running of the club in the week of the ten-year anniversary since David Sullivan and David Gold took over, while on the pitch The Hamsters were held to a draw by Everton. Brighton & Hove Albinos are still searching for their first league win of 2020 after they were held one-one by Aston Villains at The Amex Stadium. On Sunday, Ashley Westwood's stunning strike saw Burnley come from behind to beat Leicester and earn their first points in five games. And, in Sunday's late game Champions-elect Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws defeat The Scum two-nil. Which was funny.

Having failed to make their dominance count in the first meeting with Rochdale, this blogger's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies made no mistake in their FA Cup replay, coasting into the Fourth Round at St James' Park on Tuesday evening. The outcome was hardly unexpected given the strong starting line-up and bench named by Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty), but there were certainly some unexpected, 'I can't believe my eyes'-type events for almost thirty thousand fans present to witness. Mister Cashley made a rare visit to Gallowgate as United avoided any additions to their lengthy sick-list - and saw record signing Joelinton finally break his scoring duck with a first competitive home goal and only his second since joining The Magpies in the summer. On a night of broadly positives, there was a successful return from injury for Jamaal Lascelles, more valuable pitch-time for Matt Ritchie, a run-out for Jonjo Shelvey and an assist on his senior debut for teenager Tom Allan. Some generous defending by the League One visitors had allowed The Magpies to rack up an unassailable early lead by the half-hour mark. An own goal and a suicidal clearance by 'Dale goalkeeper Robert Sanchez that gifted Miguel Almirón a goal sandwiched by a quality Matty Longstaff's strike. A low-key second period was illuminated when Joelinton shook off his torpor to stick the ball past replacement custodian Jay Lynch, rounding off his side's first victory since the week before Christmas. Making his first start since returning from a lengthy injury, Ritchie's cross from the left was prodded into his own net at the Leazes End by Eoghan O'Connell in the seventeenth minute. Another Ritchie cross from left three minutes later found Matty Longstaff in front of goal and he had to time to take it down, turn and dispatch it past Sanchez. Six minutes later it was game over when Sanchez passed straight to Almirón - who had shot against a post when the tie was still scoreless - and he picked his spot to open up a three goal lead - the Paraguayan's fourth goal in his last five games in all competitions. Joelinton's goal arrived eight minutes from time when a neat pass from Andy Carroll released Allan down the right and his measured low cross was touched in by the Brazilian from six yards. An evidently relieved number nine then ran to embrace Brucie and his coaching staff on the touchline before being mobbed by his team-mates. Dale's consolation arrived in the eighty sixth minute when a short corner was played back by Aaron Wilbraham for Jordan Williams to hit a low shot from the edge of the box that beat Karl Darlow via a post. A fifth home goal almost followed in the closing seconds after Joelinton gained possession in the 'Dale box and set up Carroll, whose rising effort was tipped onto the angle of post and bar. Newcastle now face another League One side, Oxford United, in the Fourth Round. Victory over The U's would see The Magpies appear in the Fifth Round of the competition for the first time since Cashley bought the club in May 2007.

A deal to show FA Cup matches via seven online betting websites is being investigated by the Gambling Commission, the industry regulator. The Football Association has been criticised after it sold the rights to the competition via a third party. The Football Association being, of course, an organisation that is keen to fine and suspend any footballer or club official found to have bet on any football-related activity. How ironic it is, therefore, that they seem to have no problem getting their collective kit off and hopping into bed with such people as these. Sanctions for bookmakers involved could include a warning, financial penalties or the revoking of licences. 'Our investigations into that matter are ongoing,' Gambling Commission chief executive Neil McArthur told BBC 5Live. 'I understand why there are concerns and, to be clear, we already require gambling operators to market, advertise or engage in sponsorship in a socially responsible way. We are in touch with all operators in the deal to find out what they did to satisfy themselves.' A Gambling Commission spokesperson added: 'We expect gambling operators to ensure, when agreeing commercial deals relevant to sport, that such arrangements are consistent with keeping gambling safe.' Since the start of last season, bookmakers have been able to show FA Cup ties on their websites and apps. The seven gambling websites - Bet365, Betfair, William Hill, Coral, Ladbrokes, Unibet and Paddy Power - acquired the rights via the agency IMG, who agreed a deal with the FA. Who, in turn, didn't ask too many questions when they saw the size of IMG's cheque. Probably. In the FA Cup third round, twenty three matches were available to watch on Bet365 - all those that did not kick off at 3:01pm on Saturday, including this blogger's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies draw at lower league Rochdale. The matches were available to anyone who had placed a bet or put a deposit in their account in the twenty four hours before kick-off. Betting companies with streaming rights for FA Cup ties say they would allow the games to be streamed on a free platform elsewhere. In July 2017, the FA announced it was cutting its ties with gambling firms, but the deal with IMG was done in January 2017.

The Sweet FA Cup

Once upon a time, dear blog reader - and not all that long ago either - the first Saturday in January was one of the three or four most important and most looked-forward-to days in the English football calendar; it was FA Cup Third Round day and - a few postponements notwithstanding - it was thirty two matches which saw the surviving lower league (and non-league) clubs joined by the Big Boys, the forty four Premiership and Championship clubs. It was the point in the season where even clubs whose league season seemed to be, effectively, a massive write-off could dream about a good cup run and, possibly, a date at Wembley in May. But that, dear blog reader, was in another time and now, the FA Cup appears to be little more than an inconvenient distraction to many clubs and their owners - something that takes time, attention and resources away from the really important stuff, making more money from league positions and the opportunity of selling more replica shirts in Malaysia. Worryingly, this lethargy and lack of too much interest appears to have also been picked up by some fans with low crowds often being recorded for even potentially exciting, winnable ties. The fact that the games are now played over three - sometimes four - days doesn't exactly help matters.

Still, dear blog reader, some things remain reliably consistent. The inevitability of this blogger's beloved - though still, tragically, unsellable - Magpies once again managing to screw up in the Cup (this being a club, remember, which hasn't got past the Fourth Round since 2006). Yes, the squad is, currently, decimated by numerous injuries and, yes, Steve Bruice (nasty to see him, to see him nasty) did something that many of his recent predecessors were reluctant to and played his strongest available side. But still, whilst some may regard a one-all draw away at Rochdale and a completely unwanted replay at St James' Park in a fortnight as a decent result compared to previous loses to the likes of Oxford United (2017), Stevenage Borough (2011), AFC Bournemouth (1992), Grimsby Town (1982), Exeter City (1981), Chester City (1980), Wrexham (1978), Walsall (1975), Hereford United (1972), Carlisle United (1968), Swansea (1965), Bedford Town (1964), Peterborough United (1962), Scunthorpe United (1958), Rotherham United (1953) and Bradford Park Avenue (1949), this blogger does not.

League One Rochdale earned a replay after they came from behind to draw one-one with Newcastle at Spotland. The Magpies took the lead through Miguel Almiron but forty-year-old substitute Aaron Wilbraham levelled with a close-range finish with eleven minutes left. Elsewhere, holders Sheikh Yer Man City claimed a comfortable win over Port Vale while Tranmere Rovers produced a brilliant fightback to draw three-three against last year's beaten finalists Watford. Goals from Oleksandr Zinchenko, Sergio Aguero, Taylor Harwood-Bellis and Phil Foden gave City a four-one victory over the League Two side, who found the net through Tom Pope. League One strugglers Tranmere delivered arguably the performance of the day as they came from three-nil down at half-time to earn a replay against their Premier League opponents. Tom Dele-Bashiru, Nathaniel Chalobah and Roberto Pereyra had given The Hornets the upper hand, but the Wirral outfit battled back in the second half. Connor Jennings scored just after the hour and Manny Monthe made it three-two with twelve minutes left at Vicarage Road. Rovers then equalised with an eighty seventh-minute penalty, converted by Paul Mullin, after Mason Barrett had fouled Corey Blackett-Taylor. Premier League sides Brighton & Hove Albinos and Aston Villains were both knocked out of the competition after succumbing to Championship opposition. Adam Reach gave Sheffield Wednesday a victory over Brighton at Amex Stadium while Anthony Knockaert and Harry Arter helped Poor Bloody Fulham Haven't Got A Chance to a two-one victory over the Villains whose attitude to the inconvenience of the tie can be summed up by manager Dean Smith picking, effectively, a Villains reserve side. League Two Carlisle United secured a replay against Championship Cardiff City but may feel they should have done better after squandering a two-goal lead. Jack Bridge and Harry McKirdy put The Cumbrians ahead but second-half goals from Callum Paterson and Gavin Whyte got The Bluebirds back on level terms. Non-league Hartlepool had taken a surprise lead into the half-time interval against Oxford United thanks to Mark Kitching. However, The Yellows rallied and ran out four-one winners after Rob Hall, Shandon Baptiste, Tariqe Fosu-Henry and Matty Taylor found the net. Twelve-time winners The Scum and Wolverhampton Wanderings will need a replay after their tie ended in a goalless draw at Molineux. The Scum failed to have a single shot on target in a domestic game for the first time since January 2015. Adam Idah netted a hat-trick on his FA Cup debut for Norwich City as they were emphatic four-two winners over Preston Both Ends - managed by former City boss Alex Neil - at Deepdale. Jay Rodriguez struck twice to give Burnley a four-two win over Peterborough with Erik Pieters and Jeff Hendrick also on target for The Clarets. Southampton eased to a two-nil victory over Huddersfield thanks to goals from teenagers Will Smallbone and Jake Vokins. A brace for Philip Billing plus goals from Callum Wilson and Dominic Solanke ensured safe passage for AFC Bournemouth as they cruised to a four-nil win over Luton Town. Leicester City reached the fourth round with a two-nil win over Wigan Not Very Athletic following a Tom Pearce own goal and a strike from Harvey Barnes. Welsh side Newport County had knocked out Leeds United, Leicester City and Middlesbrough and given scares to Stottingtot Hotshots and Sheikh Yer Man City in the past couple of seasons. However, the League Two club will not get the opportunity to repeat their FA Cup giant-killing exploits this year after a three goal defeat by Millwall. A hat-trick from Tom Eaves helped Hull City come from behind to clinch a dramatic three-two win over Rotherham at New York Stadium. Jeremie Bela scored late on as ten-man Birmingham City edged a two-one win over Blackburn Vindaloos in front of the lowest ever attendance for an FA Cup tie at St Andrews, a mere seven thousand three hundred and thirty - a figure which seemed to sum up the general apathy of many supporters towards what was, once, one of the highlights of the season. Those who stayed away missed a truly calamitous cameo from substitute Ivan Šunjić who was sent off on the hour after conceding a penalty by hauling down the Vindaloos' Sam Gallagher a mere ninety seconds after coming on for Gary Gardner. Emilano Marcondes handed Brentford victory over Stoke City whilst Portsmouth survived some late jitters in a two-one success at Joey Barton's Fleetwood Town. Bristol City and Shrewsbury will require a replay after their tie finished one-all, as do Reading and Blackpool after theirs finished two-two. Blackpool striker Armand Gnanduillet missed with a 'Panenka' style penalty attempt but the League One side still secured a replay. The Frenchman created the opener for Nathan Delfouneso, and drilled The Seasiders back in front after Sam Baldock struck in the second half. Then, moments after Danny Loader had equalised for Reading, Gnanduillet was tripped in the box and handed a chance to win it. But he elaborately chipped the resulting spot-kick against the bar and Reading scrambled the ball clear.

Curtis Jones scored his first senior goal for the Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws with an astonishing long-range effort as The Reds knocked Merseyside rivals Everton out on Sunday afternoon. The eighteen-year-old academy product curled in the only goal of the game as Herr Klopp's side edged a over The Soft-Centred Toffees at Anfield. Championship side Derby County knocked Crystal Palace of the Prermiership out with a one-nil win whilst The Middlesbrough Smog Monsters forced a replay against a stuttering Spurs. Chris Martin scored The Rams' only goal with Wayne Rooney going close to doubling their lead late on against The PaLACE. Lucas Moura saved Spurs from a cup upset against The Smoggies, equalising midway through the first half to salvage a draw. Ashley Fletcher had given the hosts - who are currently sixteenth in the Championship - the lead at The Riverside Stadium. Eight-time winners Moscow Chelski FC eased into the fourth-round with a two-nil victory over Nottingham Forest. Callum Hudson-Odoi put Frank Lampard's side ahead after only six minutes before Forest - fourth in the Championship - had a penalty decision reversed by the video assistant referee. Ross Barkley added a second for The Blues just after the half-hour mark. AFC Fylde, the lowest-ranked team in the third round, fell to a two-one defeat against Premier League Sheffield United but it was a performance that defied Fylde's non-league status. The Blades took the lead inside eight minutes through Callum Robinson but it took until the hour mark for them to get a second through Leon Clarke. Jordan Williams pulled a goal back for The Coasters with a clever lob over Dean Henderson, who had replaced the injured Michael Verrips in the Sheffield goal. Queens Park Strangers thrashed Swansea five-one with Jordan Hugill scoring two first-half goals for the hosts. Bright Osayi-Samuel, Lee Wallace and Josh Scowen also scored for Mark Warburton's side with substitute George Byers bagging a consolation for The Sorry Swans. Elsewhere, Kenneth Zohore scored the only goal as West Bromwich Albinos knocked Championship rivals Charlton Not Very Athletic out while Barnsley defeated Crewe Alexandra three-one. Northampton Town beat Burton Alkbinos four-two but Bristol Rovers and Coventry City will meet again after seeing out a two-two draw, with Rovers captain Tony Craig scoring an own goal after having previously giving his side the lead. Monday's fourth-round draw will be held at 7.30pm, shortly before The Arsenal take on Dirty Leeds in the round's final tie.

T'Was The Weekend Before Christmas ...

Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) said that he 'hadn't heard a roar like it' as Newcastle fans celebrated Miguel Almirón's first goal for yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies. The popular Paraguayan midfielder scored a late winner against Crystal Palace to send The Magpies above The Eagles into ninth place in the Premier League. It also saw the twenty five-year-old break his Newcastle goal duck on his twenty seventh Premier League appearance since joining from Atlanta United for a then-club record twenty million in January. Whilst some media commentators and sneering gobshite journalists - most with a sick agenda smeared all over their disgusting collective mush - have chosen to focus upon Miggy's lack of goals with some glee, Newcastle supporters - you know, the people that factually matter - have been, broadly, highly supportive of the wee man, appreciating his tireless energy, pace and work-rate and knowing that, eventually, the goals would come. 'I think the crowd showed their appreciation for him,' said Brucie and, for once, he was absolutely correct. 'I think relief is the wrong word - we're all just delighted for him. Since he came to the club in January he lit the place up with his pace, trickery and skills. Day-in, day-out, he works and works, but unfortunately he's not been able to manage a goal. Today he's got the winner and we're all delighted for him. It took a long time, he's been unfortunate on so many occasions. Today when it fell to him, it was a difficult chance, coming from behind him and he's managed to smash it in. He's a great pro, a great lad, and he works really hard. When you've got a gem like that they deserve all the success I'm sure will find him.' The game looked set to end in a stalemate before Andy Carroll headed a cross down for an unmarked Almirón to volley home and Newcastle comfortably then held on through final ten minutes for their third victory in four games. Since Newcastle lost embarrassingly five-nil at Leicester at the end of September, they have beaten The Scum, West Hamsters United, Bournemouth, Sheffield United, Southampton and the Palace as well as drawing with Sheikh Yer Man City and Wolverhampton Wanderings. Palace had more of the possession and it appeared that their injury-hit defence had dealt with the aerial threat of former England striker Carroll before he played a crucial role in the winner. The Eagles also had the better chances for the majority of the game, with Wilfried Zaha and Christian Benteke denied by home goalkeeper Martin Dubravka in each half. But the visitors slipped one place to twelfth after their four-match unbeaten run came to an end. Newcastle welcomed back Almirón and Jonjo Shelvey after they both missed last Saturday's defeat at Burnley with injuries and they provided a welcome boost as The Magpies remained unbeaten at home since an opening day of the season loss to The Arse. The midfield pair had been instrumental to their team's run of seven points from nine before the Turf Moor setback and added some guile to go with Newcastle's undoubted grit. Both showed some neat touches while Almirón curled an effort straight at Palace goalkeeper early on whilst Shelvey - the club's top goalscorer so far this season - sent a speculative effort just over from near the halfway line which narrowly cleared the Palace bar. Then with time running out, Almirón found himself in space in the box to pounce on Carroll's knock-down and his relief was clear, the twenty five-year-old peeling off his shirt in celebration, which saw him receive a booking from some over-officious prick with a whistle. Brucie sprang a selection surprise by asking Joelinton to play up front with Carroll, rather than out on the left but, for the most part the strike pair struggled to connect and The Magpies did not give him enough service. But, just as Palace were beginning to increase the pressure, all that changed as Fabian Schär's right-wing cross found Carroll at the far post to lay on Almirón's match-winner. Schär was impressive in a back-three alongside Federico Fernández and Florian Lejeune - the latter making his first appearance of the season due to an injury picked up, also against Palace, in April. Also worthy of praise were United's two wing-backs, the often under-appreciated Paul Dummett and Javier Manquillo - the later, in particular, keeping the dangerous Zaha quiet for most of the afternoon. Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) said: 'I always thought maybe one goal would decide it because Palace don't give much away. We try to prime ourselves the same way. My goalkeeper made a few good saves but I don't think anybody would deny that Almirón deserved the winner.' On United being in the top half of the table at Christmas, he added: 'I'd have taken it because it was difficult at the start [of the season] but in the Premier League you can't get carried away. I look at our fixture list coming up and think "wow" - we've got some tough games in a close period of time. We'll accept where we are because the lads and the staff have worked so hard. There's a good spirit amongst them, that can go a long way, and they showed that again today.' Three points raised Newcastle two places into ninth - their highest league position for over two years - and extended their current unbeaten home Premier League run to eight games, something not achieved since 2012.

Elsewhere, Sheikh Yer Man City came from behind to beat Leicester City at The Etihad Stadium and move to within a point of the second-placed Foxes. Jamie Vardy finished off a flowing counter-attack to fire the visitors in front, but a deflected Riyad Mahrez effort and an İlkay Gündoğan penalty turned the game on its head before the interval. Gabriel Jesus slotted home Kevin De Bruyne's low cross in the second half to complete the scoring and lift Pep Guardiola's side to within eleven points of leaders Liverpool (although, obviously, The Reds have a game in hand, being otherwise occupied - see below). In Saturday's early game, Soft Toffees Everton and The Arse played out an uneventful goalles draw at Goodison Park in front of their respective new managers, Carlo Ancelotti and Mikel Arteta. The two men - and the crowd - had little to get excited about, with The Soft Toffees failing to register some much a a single shot on target during the game and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang squandering The Gunners' best chance of the match early in the second-half. High-flying Sheffield United edged to victory at Brighton & Hove Albinos despite having two goals (rightly) disallowed by the video assistant referee. Which, obviously, made their sour-faced manager Chris Wilder gurn like he'd just stood in some dog-shat. Well, no, hang on, he always looks like that. John Egan's early goal was ruled out by VAR, but Ollie McBurnie's powerful effort gave The Blades the lead midway through the first half. Jack O'Connell's second-half header was also chalked off by VAR, but Wilder's side held on to move up to fifth in the table. Struggling Southampton moved out of the bottom three with a comprehensive win at a very poor Aston Villains, who drop into the relegation zone. Two goals from in-form striker Danny Ings either side of Jack Stephens' header put The Saints firmly in the driving seat, before Jack Grealish netted a consolation for Dean Smith's side with twenty minutes remaining. Second-half goals from Romain Saïss and Raúl Jiménez helped Wolverhampton Wanderings come from behind to beat struggling, relegation-haunted Norwich City at Carrow Road. Todd Cantwell capitalised on a poor clearance to put The Canaries ahead, but Saïss powered home a header to restore parity before Jimenez beat Tim Krul with nine minutes remaining to seal the points for Nuno Espírito Santo's team. Meanwhile, Jay Rodriguez's late goal secured all three points for Burnley at Bournemouth. The match at The Vitality Stadium appeared to be petering out into a stalemate, but Rodriguez got on the end of Ashley Westwood's delivery to seal back-to-back league wins for Sean Dyche's side. Rodriguez's was the first effort on target from either side in the ninety minutes.

As their points lead in the Premier League remained in double figures, Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws boss Herr Klopp praised his players for 'passing test after test' after they became Club World Cup Champions for the first time by beating Clube De Regatas Do Flamengo of Brazil in Qatar. Roberto Firmino scored the decisive goal in extra time to secure victory for The Reds at The Khalifa International Stadium. It is the second trophy Liverpool have won this season after they beat Moscow Chelski FC to win the UEFA Super Cup in August. 'The boys dug in again and massively put in a performance,' said Herr Klopp. 'They keep getting tested constantly - our life is like this. At the moment we pass test after test after test. We have to make sure we pass further tests as well.' Victory was all the more impressive for Liverpool considering it has come in the middle of a busy December for the 2019 Champions League winners. The Club World Cup clashed with Liverpool's Carabao Cup quarter-final at Aston Villains, meaning that they had to send separate teams to compete in the competitions. A youthful Reds side lost that game five-nil at Villains Park but the first team were able to add another trophy to the cabinet and they return to England with that ten-point lead at the top of the Premier League, as well as a game in hand over their rivals. Herr Klopp said that he was proud of his players for putting in such a strong performance in another final. He added: 'I struggle to find the words to express my respect for the boys. It was incredible. We did so many good things. I saw so many sensationally good performances and I am really happy. It was a very intense game for different reasons; it was not our best game we have ever played but it was enough to win. This was a wonderful night for the club. I said before I didn't not know how it would feel. Now I know it feels outstanding, absolutely sensational. I am so proud of the boys.' One concern for Liverpool was a potential injury to Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. The England midfielder was seen using crutches and wearing a protective boot during Liverpool's celebrations having earlier been substituted following an awkward fall. 'Hopefully it is not too serious,' Herr Klopp said. 'Even he was smiling at the end, which helped us all.'

Martin Peters, who has died aged seventy six, will forever be remembered as the England World Cup winner described as 'ten years ahead of his time' by his manager, Sir Alf Ramsey. As immaculate off the pitch as he was on it, Peters was the thinking man's midfielder and a trailblazer for the modern goalscoring midfield players who populate the Premier League today. Perhaps 'fifty years ahead of his time might have been closer to the truth.' He scored England's second goal in the four-two win over West Germany in the World Cup final - but this was just one part of a career that brought club successes in domestic and European football to set alongside that day in the glorious sunshine at Wembley in July 1966. Plaistow-born Peters, whose father was a lighterman on the River Thames, was a product of the West Hamsters United academy, a hothouse of forward thinking led by players such as Malcolm Allison and Noel Cantwell and put into practice by managers Ted Fenton and, most notably, Ron Greenwood. Tall, lean and elegant, Peters was the perfect pupil for Greenwood's desire to bring intelligence and tactical awareness to the game, developing alongside those other England World Cup heroes captain Bobby Moore and hat-trick hero Sir Geoff Hurst - Hamsters fans still boast about how West Ham won the World Cup. He had the natural gifts and awareness that allowed him to act like a sponge for Greenwood's progressive techniques, easily absorbing his manager's instructions and carrying them out with authority. Peters, like another West Ham legend of later years, Sir Trevor Brooking, exerted his influence through speed of thought and natural ability as opposed to physical presence. He became known as 'The Ghost' for his ability to arrive undetected among heavy traffic in the penalty area to score. He made his debut on Good Friday 1962 in a four-one win against Cardiff City and his first goal came in a six-one victory at Manchester City the following September. It was the start of a career that would bring him one hundred goals in three hundred and sixty games for West Ham as he settled into a pattern of performance and goalscoring that would define his style. Greenwood's team was regarded as talented but defensively fragile alongside the fierce competition offered by the likes of The Scum, Everton, Liverpool, Dirty Leeds, The Arse and Stottingtot Hotshots, but they still enjoyed moments of glory. Amid that success there was disappointment for Peters, who was not included in the West Ham side that won the FA Cup final against Preston Both Ends in 1964, victory being secured by Ronnie Boyce's last-minute winner. There was to be consolation, of sorts, for Peters a year later when he was a key component of the team which won the European Cup Winners' Cup against Turn-Und Sportverein München 1860 at Wembley, courtesy of two goals from Alan Sealey. Peters continued to be one of the most significant members of a West Hamsters team that was pleasing on the eye, operating with characteristic stealth and intelligence, but was short on success and his future glories were to come elsewhere.

In the modern parlance, Peters was a 'bolter' in Sir Alf Ramsey's plans for the 1966 World Cup - the player who came up on the rails to make his case for inclusion close to the tournament. It proved to be an inspired choice by Ramsey as Peters helped him fulfil his much-derided prophecy that England would indeed lift The Jules Rimet Trophy on home soil. Peters only made his England debut on 4 May 1966 in a two-nil win over Yugoslavia at Wembley, scoring the first of his twenty goals for his country on his second appearance against Finland in Helsinki on 26 June. He did not actually figure in England's line-up at the start of the World Cup campaign, missing the opening group game against Uruguay at Wembley. Peters started the second match against Mexico and was then a permanent fixture under Ramsey. Peters helped Ramsey implement a system known as the wingless wonders after Liverpool's Ian Callaghan, Southampton's Terry Paine and The Scum's John Connelly had all appeared during the group phase but were left out of the knockout games as England's system reaped the ultimate reward. He once said: 'I wasn't a winger. Alan Ball and I were midfield players that broke wide. We had to get back and defend. We worked hard to defend when we played against a midfield player opposite us and then would break to support attacks. I wasn't quick but I could run and run and run, so I would run into the box, see a space, run into there. If the ball didn't come in you'd get out again, run in and then would come in and bang - goal.' Peters and Ball - both in their early twenties - were the engine-room of the midfield, allowing Bobby Charlton more time on the ball - a key part of Ramsey's plan. It was Peters' cross from the left flank that enabled Hurst to head home England's winner in the tempestuous quarter-final against Argentina at Wembley, a game remembered for the sending-off of the visitors' captain Antonio Rattin and Ramsey tearing George Cohen's shirt away from an opponent as they tried to exchange them at the final whistle. At the age of twenty two, Peters was to take his place in England's sporting hall of fame as he scored the sort of goal that became his trademark in the final against West Germany, pouncing in the penalty box to put England two-one ahead.

Hurst recalled: 'When you look at the film of Martin after his goal in the final you can see him flicking his fingers out. He said the exhilaration was like an electric current running through his hands. He was a fantastic player, a natural footballer who was totally and utterly devoted to the game.' It was the high watermark of his England career and future World Cups would provide bitter disappointment for both Peters and Ramsey, the manager whose aloof public profile was at odds with the complete devotion he inspired in his players. Peters, now at Spurs, was still central to Ramsey's plans when an England team many still argue was actually better than the 1966 World Cup winners in terms of pure talent, headed to Mexico four years later. Most of the great names remained though Nobby Stiles had been replaced as the midfield enforcer by Spurs captain Alan Mullery, Everton pair Brian Labone and Keith Newton replaced Jack Charlton and Cohen, while Manchester City's Francis Lee came in for Roger Hunt. And, when Peters put England two-nil up in the now infamous quarter-final against West Germany in León with one of those familiar far-post arrivals on the end of Newton's right-wing cross, Ramsey looked on course for more success. Instead, with the outstanding Chelsea goalkeeper Peter Bonetti having a rare off day as a late replacement after Gordon Banks was taken ill and Ramsey's substitution of Bobby Charlton with Colin Bell backfiring, West Germany fought back to win three-two in extra time. It was the end of that golden England era. Peters was Ramsey's captain, with Moore replaced by Norman Hunter, on one of the darkest nights in England's football history - 17 October 1973 and the World Cup qualifier against Poland at Wembley that they needed to win to qualify for the 1974 finals in West Germany. It was a night that belonged to Poland goalkeeper Jan Tomaszewski, labelled 'a clown' by Brian Clough, as he performed heroics and his goal led a charmed life. England could only draw the game one-one. It was the end of Ramsey and Peters followed not long after. He won his final cap in May 1974 in the two-nil defeat by Scotland at Hampden Park, Joe Mercer having taken over as caretaker manager from Ramsey. Peters may have had an inauspicious end to a magnificent England career but his record of sixty seven caps, twenty goal goals and a World Cup win secures his place in history.

Peters cut his ties with West Hamsters in March 1970, becoming Britain's first two hundred thousand knicker player when he signed for Spurs, although a portion of the fee was taken up with Jimmy Greaves making the reverse journey to Upton Park. Martin was at his peak at twenty six, figuring in a side with a more ruthless edge under manager Bill Nicholson and alongside players of the calibre of Mullery, Pat Jennings, Mike England, Martin Chivers, Steve Perryman and Alan Gilzean. Peters was able to add his elegant flourishes and natural eye for a goal to these talents and he went on to further success at White Hart Lane. He scored on his debut in a two-one win against Coventry City and finally won domestic honours when Spurs beat Aston Villains in the 1971 League Cup final at Wembley. Peters was captain when Spurs repeated the feat two years later against Norwich City. Spurs also won the UEFA Cup in 1972 when Wolverhampton Wanderings were beaten in an all-English final, but they tasted defeat in the same competition's final two years later when they lost to a crack Feyenoord side in a two-legged tie which was overshadowed by crowd violence. He left for Norwich City in a fifty thousand quid deal in March 1975, having scored seventy six goals in two hundred and sixty appearances for Spurs.

Even in his latter years, Peters was still able to show the old mastery and enjoyed something of an Indian summer at Carrow Road, winning the club's player of the year award in 1976 and 1977. In 2002 he was made an inaugural member of Norwich City's Hall Of Fame. In 1978, while still at Norwich, Peters was made an MBE for services to football. He is still regarded as one of the finest players to represent The Canaries, scoring forty four goals in two hundred and six league appearances before joining Sheffield United as player-coach in July 1980. Peters was Harry Haslam's designated successor as Sheffield United manager but only had a brief and unhappy spell in charge for sixteen games between January and May 1981 when The Blades were relegated to the old Fourth Division. In 1982-83 he played in defence for non-league Gorleston in the Eastern Counties League, after which he retired from playing and joined Hurst in forming an insurance-selling business. For a period Peters was also on the board of directors at Tottenham and he later took on hospitality roles both at Spurs and West Ham.

Peters made a career total of eight hundred and eighty career appearances in all competitions, scoring two hundred and twenty goals and was inducted into English football's Hall Of Fame in 2006, confirming his status as one of the towering figures of the post-war football generation. He is survived by his wife, Kathleen - whom he married in 1964 after they met at a bowling alley in Dagenham - and by their children, Leeann and Grant.

The Miracle Of Tottenham High Road

Club record signing Joelinton's first goal in English football gave this blogger's beloved (though, tragically, unsellable) Newcastle United a surprise win at Stottingtot Hotshots on Sunday. And Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) his first points as The Magpies' - alleged - 'manager.' After a week of intense media - and, far more importantly, fan - criticism which followed a truly gutless, directionless display at Norwich by Th' Toon, the Brazilian striker took advantage of sloppy Spurs defending to control substitute Christian Atsu's through pass before drilling low past Hugo Lloris. Atsu, on after Allan Saint-Maximin had to go off with an early hamstring injury, provided the assist with his first significant contribution. Spurs lacked the creativity to break down a resolute Newcastle side, whose four-man midfield of Ritchie, Almiron, Longstaff and Hayden spent a large chunk of the contest sitting deep in front of the back four (with Paul Dummett particularly outstanding). Son Heung-min, making his first Spurs appearance of the season after completing a three-match suspension, saw a bouncing first-half volley beaten away by Martin Dubravka, then rolled a shot wide shortly before the interval. Spurs boss Mauricio Pochettino sent on Christian Eriksen and Giovani Lo Celso for the final half-hour in an attempt to salvage something from the five hundredth match of his managerial career. It almost worked: Lo Celso's pass for Harry Kane ended with the England captain falling under Jamaal Lascelles' challenge - but Mike Dean ruled, rightly, that it was not a penalty and was backed up by the check from video assistant referee Anthony Taylor. Then Eriksen's diagonal pass gave Moussa Sissoko room to cross low, but Lucas Moura skied his shot over the bar from eight yards. However these were rare moments of panic for the visitors, with Stottingtot's fitfulness on the pitch mirrored by an equally lack-lustre display by home followers - prompting chants of 'Is this The Emirates?' from the away section. Thoughts that the game was turning into a re-run of United's one-nil win at White Tart Lane in 2013 were conjured up, but while that epic victory was achieved largely due to the heroics of Tim Krul in Th' Toon's goal, Spurs proved ultimately incapable of testing Martin Dubravka to any comparable extent in 2019. The most relieved man in the ground was probably Brucie, but the away supporters were entitled to enjoy what was - quite literally - a day out in the sun. Undeterred by transport headaches for the second weekend in a row, not to mention an all-pervading sense of doom surrounding the club, this was a timely reminder of just why some fans put themselves through those early starts and late finishes. It still matters. Following some cricket-related shenanigans at Headingley a few hours earlier, that two miracles in one day, dear blog reader. This blogger had a quick look out of the window because, the last time this happened, some wise men came from the East ...

Boreham Wood chairman Danny Hunter says he may reduce his investment in the club after a 'laughable' crowd of four hundred and seven saw their defeat by Sutton on Saturday. The National League side have averaged six hundred and fifty five fans over three home games so far this season. Taking away season-ticket holders and travelling fans, Hunter claimed that there were only forty six paying Boreham Wood supporters at Saturday's match. 'I've got to reassess what more I can do, as the town clearly doesn't want to consciously support its club,' he said. 'Saturday's abysmal crowd just makes me feel sad, as so much hard work goes into making this club over achieve every year and we just want a bit more support for those efforts.' Boreham Wood reached the 2017-18 National League play-off final, but fall well below the average divisional attendance of around two thousand three hundred so far this season. The Hertfordshire club - promoted four times since 2005-06 - introduced a ninety nine quid adult season ticket this summer in a bid to increase crowds, but Hunter said it had not improved matters. 'I suppose if you want an excuse, the lower than normal crowd could be put down to three hundred adult and OAP ninety nine pound season ticket holders, who took up our offer but never bothered to turn up and support us,' Hunter told the club website. 'I'm probably just feeling a bit sorry for myself, but four hundred and seven as a gate attendance at our level is laughable.' Hunter claims that he has put half-a-million smackers into the club since February, with a total spend of 1.2 million knicker over the summer to build a new stand and upgrade facilities. 'It might simply be the right time to re-evaluate my own ambitions and consider downsizing my year-on-year investment here and get rid of a few of the white elephants in the room,' he added.

Mansfield have suspended Dion Donohue and Jacob Mellis for 'an alleged serious breach of club discipline.' Police said that two men, aged twenty five and twenty eight, have been released on bail following 'an incident' which left two other men hurt - one needing hospital treatment - on Friday. Donohue, who is twenty five and Mellis, twenty eight, are currently banned from training and playing for the League Two club while suspended. Mellis, a former Moscow Chelski FC and Southampton player and Donohue, who joined Mansfield from Portsmouth in July, did not play in Saturday's two-nil League Two win at Carlisle. Mellis was completing a three-game ban following his opening-day sending-off against Newport anyway, while Donohue was said to be 'recovering from injury.' Last week, police issued an appeal for witnesses after officers were called to an incident in Mansfield town centre, arresting two men on suspicion of assault.

Sierra Leone forward Musa Noah Kamara has had his contract with Swedish club Trelleborgs cancelled after just one week. The club simply stated that the nineteen-year-old's three-and-a-half year deal was ended. 'He wishes to return to his home country for personal reasons,' Trelleborgs said in a statement on their website. Kamara went on to explain that he wanted to return to Freetown as he could not cope with the cold weather in Sweden. He finished as the top goal scorer of 2019 Sierra Leone Premier league with fifteen goals to help East End Lions emerge as champions.

Clyde manager Danny Lennon helped his side beat Glasgow Celtic's colts team - despite being thirty three years older than one of the opposition. The fifty-year-old, who hung up his boots eleven years ago, brought himself on at Broadwood for a second-half cameo appearance. Lennon was up against the likes of Parkhead teenage talent Armstrong Okoflex, aged seventeen. The Lanarkshire side claimed a three-one Glasgow Cup victory. It is unclear why the Clyde boss felt the urge to make his return to action.

Dirty Stoke manager Nathan Jones claims 'there must be something on the mind' of Dirty Stoke's goalkeeper Jack Butland after his calamitous error-strewn display in The Potters' defeat at Preston Both Ends. The hosts were two goals up inside twenty five minutes at Deepdale, with both goals stemming from mistakes by the twenty six-year-old England keeper. Daniel Johnson put Preston in front with a low, scuffed strike from the edge of the box which Butland failed to turn around the post. He was, again, at fault for Both Ends' second, allowing Billy Bodin's shot from outside the area to slide under his body and in to the net. 'No one talks about him as being a Stoke goalkeeper,' Jones told Radio 5Live. 'Everyone talks about him losing his place in the England side or that he's got to go abroad or leave Stoke to gain this or that. But he's got to do his job for Stoke first. I don't know where he must be mentally because there's so much talk about him, but realistically we all have to do our job for Stoke. You don't go from being a top goalkeeper to making errors like he is at the minute. There must be something playing on his mind.'

Bury have been given until 5pm on Tuesday to complete a sale that would prevent them from being expelled from the English Football League. Owner Steve Dale said late on Friday - the day on which the Football Legaue had threatened to bury Bury - that he had agreed a deal to sell the club to analytics company C&N Sporting Risk. The League One club had originally been given until midnight on Friday to prove they could pay off creditors and had funding to complete the season. The Shakers have not played any of their first six games of the season. Their first five league matches were suspended by the EFL and they have also been withdrawn from the Carabao Cup. 'The board has considered the evidence presented and has determined, in a final effort to allow the club the opportunity to survive, to grant an extension and work exclusively with the club and C&N Sporting Risk to see if a takeover is possible,' the EFL executive chair Debbie Jevans said. 'No one wants to see a club lose its place in the league and we will now work with the potential purchasers over the weekend and ahead of the Tuesday deadline in an attempt to find the solutions required for a sale to take place.'

Former Ghana, Nottingham Forest and Bristol Rovers striker Junior Agogo has died at the age of forty. Agogo, who began his career at Sheffield Wednesday, played twenty seven times for his country and scored twelve goals. He finished his career at Hibernian in 2012 having also had spells in the United States, Cyprus and Egypt. Agogo suffered a stroke in 2015 and struggled with his speech afterwards, telling a BBC4 documentary in 2017 that he felt anxious about his language. Agogo sealed his place in the hearts of Ghana fans with his performances at the 2008 Africa Cup of Nations where he scored three goals including a late winner against Nigeria in Accra. 'I think that was the goal that sealed his popularity in Ghana,' Laryea Kingston, the former Heart of Midlothian midfielder said. 'During the tournament we could feel his influence in the team grow and his popularity go up but that goal sealed everything.' Despite playing alongside big names like Michael Essien and Asamoah Gyan, Agogo was the team's star man during the tournament. 'A lot of fans didn't know but those of us in the team knew he was going to be good for us,' Kingston added. 'He spent a lot of time in the gym and his strength reflected in the way he played. He simply wanted to score goals and make a mark for the team and I am glad he did. He had a word for everyone, enjoyed a good dance, could tease a lot and take it too. This has really hit a lot of us.'

Whom To Believe?

Writing his first column for The Athletic website, Rafa The (Former) Gaffer Benitez took the opportunity of responding to various comments made by Lee Charnley which appeared in Sunday's Newcastle United match programme regarding his recent departure from this blogger's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies and subsequent move to China: '"Wherever you go, go with all your heart,"' Rafa wrote. 'I would like to start my first column for The Athletic with this quote from Confucius, the Chinese philosopher and politician. People in Newcastle have been talking about my decision to move to China without knowing what happened behind the scenes during my three years at St James’ Park. I haven't wanted to say too much about that - I've encouraged supporters to get behind Steve Bruce and his new team - but I've been made aware of what Lee Charnley, Newcastle's managing director, claimed in the club's match programme last weekend and I think it's important I address that. Hopefully, it will be the last time I have to do so. In the future I want to write about football and nothing but football. When I joined Newcastle in 2016, I did it with all my heart. I could feel the history and see the potential of the club and I wanted to be part of a project and to stay close to my family on Merseyside. I tried to do my best every day, even staying when we went down to the Championship and saying no to other offers - bigger offers than the one I recently accepted with Dalian Yifang, by the way. If I was only interested in moving "for money," as Charnley stated, I could have done it much earlier. Over my long career and especially in my time at Newcastle, I've always shown commitment to my club, its city and its community and I've done it with professionalism and honesty. I want to remember the good moments I spent in the North-East - and there were many of them - and not have to keep denying things about my time there or about my departure. Newcastle's board had a year to sort out my contract but, when we met after the end of last season, they didn't make me a proper offer. They told me they didn't want to invest in the academy or the training ground - if they like, I can explain the reason why Mike Ashley refused to do that. Their idea of a project was a policy of signing players under twenty four and, in my opinion, the budget available was not enough to compete for the top ten. After that meeting, I knew they would not come back with a serious offer and, when it arrived, nineteen days later, it was for the same salary as three years earlier and with less control over signings. Charnley's comments in the programme about having a deal agreed for Joelinton in February explains a lot that I couldn't understand at that time. After three years of unfulfilled promises, I didn't trust them. When we finished tenth in the Premier League in our first season back, all players and staff were paid a bonus - aside from my coaching team. That felt like a punishment for me not signing an extension. So, by the end, I knew there would not be a proper offer and they knew I was not signing. I couldn't explain that in public because I was not allowed to talk to the press without their permission, so I was waiting until late June, like every fan, hoping there would be good news about Newcastle's prospective takeover. The time was passing and we were losing job opportunities in Europe. I couldn't wait forever. I'm a family man and I have a responsibility to them, my staff, Paco, Antonio and Mikel and their families, too. I don't like to gamble with the future of my people. In front of us we had three options: nothing serious from Newcastle, the hope of a possible takeover or a different project. Yes, it was a big offer in China - I have never denied that - but it was also another continent and another league, from a club giving us a lot of recognition and respect. That decision wasn't easy, but it was clear. So, here we are in the Chinese Super League with an ambitious club that has a big company in Wanda behind it. At Dalian, we are trying to build something important in this massive, fascinating country. It is another level, another way of doing things, another culture, but they believe in us, they listen to us and their priority is not just to make a profit. They are investing big money in developing a new scouting department, they are building a new training ground for the academy, the under-twenty threes and, obviously, the first team. And, yes, they are using our experience to guide them. The CSL has sixteen clubs so that means thirty league games plus the cup (we are in the semi-finals) and the Asian Champions League, if you qualify. The Chinese Federation tries to promote young players, which means the top teams like Guangzhou Evergrande, who have had the best young Chinese players for years, can manage better than us. We can't compete with them at the moment, but our target this year is to finish in the top ten (we are sixth) and we are improving and growing. They expect us to leave a legacy, the basement on which to build something. The whole experience is a challenge, none bigger than the language. I have worked in Spain, Italy and England, but this is very different. Here, you need a translator for everything: to transmit your thoughts in training sessions, team talks and to the media, down to working on computers. But there is a rich culture here; the city, the food, the life are all nice. And, as I say, we have been treated with nothing but respect. Over the coming weeks, I will talk more about that and more about what's happening in the Premier League but, as I have started with Newcastle, I will finish with them, too. What can I say about them? Before their first game, I wished the players, fans and Steve Bruce all the best and I meant it sincerely, because they deserve it. Arsenal was their first match of the season and their first with a new manager, so we have to give them time. The signings we made to take us from the Championship have more experience in the Premier League now. I think the combination of 'our' young players, like Jamaal Lascelles, Isaac Hayden, DeAndre Yedlin and Javier Manquillo, the new squad members like Miguel Almiron and Sean Longstaff, together with the experience of Paul Dummett, Matt Ritchie, Martin Dubravka, Fabian Schär, Florian Lejeune, Federico Fernandez, Jonjo Shelvey, Ki Sung-Yeung, Ciaran Clark, Karl Darlow and Christian Atsu will be enough to stay up. The new players will have to make the difference if they want to finish better than tenth, but they will need - and they will have - support from the fans, even if they are not happy with how things have been done, because they know the club is bigger than anyone. They have to be United; Newcastle United. On Sunday morning, I switched on my television in Dalian and there was a documentary about Alan Shearer being shown. Can you believe that? It's true. I saw joy in the faces of Newcastle fans after every goal. I didn't need the reminder, because I was there so recently, there with all my heart, but it made me think again about that history and potential. And it made me consider something else: what would an eighteen-year-old Newcastle supporter think about his club now?' Rafa's comments were, subsequently, widely reported in the Torygraph, the Gruniad Morning Star, the Daily Mirra, the Sun, the Independent, the Evening Chronicle, Ninety Minutes, talkSport and ITV. Among many, many other media outlets. So, there you have it, dear blog reader - ultimately, it's a question of whom Newcastle United supporters feel is more trustworthy in their claims; Rafa - adored and missed by pretty much everyone - or weaselling and shifty-looking crass Ashley apologist Charnley. It's a toughie, isn't it?

Super Cup champions Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws maintained their winning start to the season with victory over Southampton at St Mary's. Sadio Mane scored the opener for Herr Klopp's side in a two-one win, having scored twice as The Reds beat Moscow Chelski FC on penalties in Istanbul on Wednesday night. Roberto Firmino added a second, before Adrian's error gifted Saints striker Danny Ings a goal late on. Teemu Pukki scored a hat-trick as last season's Championship winners Norwich City bounced back from their opening-day defeat by Liverpool to record a three-one win over this blogger's beloved (though tragically unsellable and probably relegation-bound) Newcastle United. The Finnish striker, now with four goals in two Premier League matches, produced a stunning first-half volley before securing The Canaries' first points with two more goals after the interval. Newcastle did get a consolation goal in stoppage time through Jonjo Shelvey but this disjointed and toothless display from The Magpies will only ramp up the pressure on Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) and do little to quell the mutinously sour mood around St James' Park at the moment. Championship play-off winners Aston Villains' wait for a first win of the season goes on, as they lost two-one at home to Bournemouth. Joshua King's second-minute penalty and a debut goal for Liverpool loanee Harry Wilson put Eddie Howe's visitors in control, though Douglas Luiz's strike from range handed The Villains a second-half lifeline. Brighton & Hove Albino's summer signing Leandro Trossard cancelled out Javier Hernandez' opener as The Seagulls earned a draw with West Hamsters United at The Amex Stadium. Trossard had earlier seen a first-half goal ruled out by the video assistant referee for offside, but levelled just four minutes after The Hamsters' sixty first-minute opener. Meanwhile, Bernard's tenth-minute goal was enough to earn Everton a narrow victory at home to manager Marco Silva's former side Watford. Earlier on Saturday, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang scored the winning goal as The Arse beat Burnley two-one at The Emirates Stadium. The Gunners initially led through Alexandre Lacazette's opener on his return from injury, but Ashley Barnes levelled for the visitors before half-time. In Saturday's late game, Gabriel Jesus had an injury-time goal ruled out by VAR as Sheikh Yer Man City dropped points at home for the first time since December 2018 with a two-two draw against Stottingtot Hotshots. Raheem Sterling headed City ahead in the first half, but Erik Lamela swiftly equalised. Sergio Aguero flicked home before Lucas Moura headed a second equaliser in soon after coming on of substitute. Jesus then appeared to score in injury time, but it was - rightly - ruled out for a handball by Aymeric Laporte. It was a frustrating result for Sheikh Yer Man City in their first home game of the season, particularly after beginning their title defence with a five-nil win at West Hamsters United last weekend.

AZ Alkmaar will launch an investigation after part of the roof at the AFAS Stadium collapsed on Saturday. The Dutch Eredivisie club's general manager, Robert Eenhoorn, confirmed that there were no injuries sustained when a large section of the roof fell onto seating below amid high winds. AZ were not playing at the time and visit RKC Waalwijk on Sunday. 'This surprised us all. We are very shocked but especially happy that there was no human suffering,' said Eenhoorn. 'In the coming days we will conduct a study with experts in this field. Only when that investigation has been done can we elaborate on the matter. It is much too early for that now.' AZ's next home game is a Europa League third-round qualifier against Ukraine's FC Mariupol on 15 August. However, Eenhoorn said it is too early to confirm whether that match will be able to go ahead at the ground.

ITV have announced they will broadcast three La Liga matches live on ITV4 at the start of the new season. The broadcaster showed live top-flight Spanish matches at the end of last season after previous rights holders Eleven Sports cut short their agreement. ITV will also show weekly La Liga highlights throughout the season on both ITV and ITV4. Live coverage begins with Barcelona's trip to Athletic Bilbao on Friday. Barcelona's first home game against Real Betis on 25 August will also be shown live, before Real Madrid's trip to Villarreal is broadcast on the following weekend.

Porto were knocked out of the Champions League after losing to Russia's FC Krasnodar on away goals, while last season's semi-finalists Ajax survived a scare to make the final play-off round. It is the first time that 2004 winners Porto have missed out on the Champions League group stages since the 2010-11 season. The Portuguese side led one-nil from the first-leg, but were three-nil down after thirty four minutes at the Estadio do Dragao. Despite second-half goals from Ze Luis and Luis Diaz they lost three-two. Ajax came from a goal down to beat Greek Champions PAOK three-two at home, to win five-four on aggregate. Dusan Tadic missed a penalty in the thirty second minute after Diego Biseswar's opener, but the Serbian made amends as he scored from the spot just before half-time. Nicolas Tagliafico doubled Ajax's lead with eleven minutes left, before Tadic scored a second penalty in the five minutes from time minute to make it three-one, with Biseswar getting his second for the visitors in injury time. The Dutch champions will next play Cypriot side Apoel Nicosia for a place in the Champions League group stages. Elsewhere, former champions Red Star Belgrade beat FC Copenhagen seven-six on penalties in a shootout which saw nine out of the twenty two penalties taken missed. The game had earlier ended one-all (two-two on aggregate) in Denmark. Club Bruges are also through after a dramatic three-all draw with Dynamo Kiev in Ukraine, to win four-three on aggregate. The game saw both teams have a player sent off and both also score injury-time goals.

French second division side AS Nancy could face disciplinary action after their match against Le Mans was stopped by the referee due to homophobic chanting by a section of fans. Referee Medi Mokhtari briefly halted the game in the twenty seventh minute at Nancy's Stade Marcel Picot. Players went over to their fans to ask them to stop, while the stadium announcer warned the game would be suspended. The match resumed after a minute. 'These songs have no place in a football stadium,' said Nancy president Jean-Michel Roussier after the match. Mokhtari's actions were praised by sports minister Roxana Maracineanu, who also commended the LFP, the league's governing body. 'I extend my congratulations to referee Mehdi Mokhtari and the delegate of the LFP Alain Marseille who took their responsibilities and decided to interrupt the football match between Nancy and Le Mans for homophobic insults,' she tweeted. 'It's a first. And a last, I hope.' Marlene Schiappa, France's gender equality minister, tweeted: 'Congratulations to referee Mehdi Mokhtari for having bravely interrupted the match against homophobic songs sung at Nancy-Le Mans. Football is an exciting sport. It must remain so for all.'

Scotland manager Shelley Kerr admits she would 'do things differently in hindsight' after some players were reportedly 'reduced to tears' at a meeting the day after The Scotch were knocked out of the World Cup. Kerr admits that she, along with some of her backroom team, 'had a few drinks' with dinner before the debrief. Some players are said to have considered their Scotland futures after the meeting but Kerr insists that the squad is fully behind her. 'There were a few hard and fast conversations,' she told BBC Scotland. 'That will happen in a performance environment. On reflection would I do things differently? Yeah of course. Maybe the timing because the emotions - certainly the circumstance - were so unique.' Scotland lost the opening two games of their first World Cup against England and Japan before conceding three goals in the final sixteen minutes to draw three-three with Argentina when victory would have earned a last-sixteen place in the competition. Kerr is understood to have blamed the players in 'a heated and emotional meeting' in Paris the following day, but she denies suggestions that 'too much alcohol' had been taken. 'The staff were working around the clock and the day after, when the tournament finished, myself and some of the staff went out for a meal and we had a few drinks,' she said. 'You're on time off but of course I can see the perception.' The Scottish FA are 'aware of the matter' and have 'had conversations' with Kerr and certain players. The governing body is believed to want all parties to get together before the next squad gathering with a view to clearing any lingering issues and sorting this shit out. Kerr named her squad on Thursday for the first Euro 2021 qualifier against Cyprus on 30 August, with injured duo Lana Clelland and Christie Murray the only two members of the World Cup squad not involved. When asked about suggestions that some teams had considered whether they wanted to be part of her plans, Kerr said she would 'continue with the squad' that went to France. 'We'll address, we'll debrief,' she said. 'I've spoken to a lot of the players directly and indirectly and I've got a positive feeling about the Euros. That's what we need to focus on now.'