The Dragon Slayers

Marcus Rashford inspired England to the victory required to top Group B and ensure it was abject despair and misery for Welsh Wales as they went out of the tournament after a bitterly disappointing World Cup campaign. Wales needed to either beat England and hope Iran and USA ended in a draw or pursue the even more unlikely outcome of running up a four-goal victory margin at Ahmad bin Ali Stadium. England, who now face Senegal in the last sixteen on Sunday, ensured neither scenario was ever a serious consideration as they dominated throughout and took full control after an uneventful first forty five minutes. Wales coach Rob Page was forced to replace Gareth Bale at half-time because of an injury, although the daft-haired talisman had only had seven touches in an anonymous display. And, any hope of Wales qualifying for the last sixteen was wiped out as England scored twice within six minutes of the restart. Rashford fired a free-kick past Danny Ward following Ethan Ampadu's foul on Phil Foden after fifty minutes, with the Sheikh Yer Man City midfielder then marking his return to England's team moments later by turning in Harry Kane's cross at the far post. Wales were demoralised and outclassed as they knew they were on the way home from Qatar and Rashford added his second in the sixty eighth minute, with a large slice of help from Wales keeper Ward, in for suspended Wayne Hennessey after his red card against Iran, who allowed a fierce shot to slip through his legs. England top Group B with seven points, two points ahead of the United States who set up a last-sixteen meeting with The Netherlands by beating Iran one-nil in their match, while Wales finished dead rock bottom last of the table with but a point. It took England time and another desperately dull first-half before they clicked into top gear but once they did, they were then able to overrun Wales, who ended this World Cup in timid fashion. And Rashford continued to make a big impact at this World Cup, with his double here coming after scoring with virtually his first touch in the six-two romp against Iran in England's opening game. He missed a good chance in the first-half when he was played though by Kane but his free-kick was emphatic and the second a reward for his willingness to drive into the Wales defence at pace. He almost had a hat-trick only for Ward to block his shot at the near post. Rashford must now be under serious consideration for a starting place when England face the tougher test of Senegal as the knockout phase gets under way. Gareth Southgate made four changes to his team that performed so poorly against USA, Rashford, Foden, Jordan Henderson and fit-again Kyle Walker coming in for Raheem Sterling, Bukayo Saka, Mason Mount and Kieran Trippier. It not only helped England run out easy winners but gave squad members valuable game time, especially Walker, who is such an important part of Southgate's plans but missed the end of the Premier League to undergo groin surgery. England and Southgate have achieved their first priority of qualifying for the last sixteen while topping their group, two strong wins against Iran and Wales coming either side of that dismal USA showing. It represents a job satisfactorily done by England - now they must take the next step against the dangerous African champions.

Same Old England, Always Flattering To Decieve

Having got everyone all excited when thrashing Iran earlier in the week, England's second match at the 2022 World Cup was a frustrating and disappointing one; a piss-poor, lethargic, second-to-every-ball, barely-able-to-string-two-passes-together performance against the US which ended scoreless. England laboured in the often drab draw and missed the chance to seal qualification for the World Cup knockout stage. Gareth Southgate's side were second best for long periods as they failed to match the energy, intensity and high-pressing game of the USA, who have their own hopes of making the last sixteen. England, with Harry Maguire outstanding in defence, were unimpressive and rode their luck when Weston McKennie missed an easy chance and Christian Pulisic struck the bar in the first half. Mason Mount brought a fine save from USA goalkeeper Matt Turner just before the break but this was an undistinguished display from England which carried none of the attacking verve that saw them thrash Iran in their opening game and leaves them heading into their match against Wales with their fate undecided (albeit, they would have to lose by four clear goals not to qualify).

Four years ago at the last World Cup in Russia, this blogger's former BBC Newcastle colleague Vicki Sparks became the first woman to commentate on a World Cup game for the Beeb when she did Portugal versus Morocco. Albeit, the poor lamb had to spend ninety minutes (plus injury time) stuck next to Martin Keown which is more akin to a five-stretch than a pleasurable experience. At this tournament, she was rewarded with Uruguay versus South Korea for 5Live. And she got lumbered with Clinton Morrison as co-commentator. Which is more like ten years in The Joint, frankly. Mind you, it could have been worse, on BBC1 Pien Meulensteen was stuck with Danny Murphy. The horror.

Watching The Netherlands versus Ecuador on ITV, everything creative seemed to be going through Steven Bergwijn in the first-half. I do wonder if Louis Van Gaal's pre-match team talk to his team was, basically, 'just pass to the Dutchie on the left hand side.'

Route One (Of Several)

So what have we learned after five days of the 2022 World Cup, apart from the fact that FIFA are a bunch of cowardly appeasers of fascista (which we knew anyway)? Inevitably, some people are getting somewhat carried away by one (admittedly clinically good) performance by England (against a desperately poor Iran side). As usually happens when England win one game lots of people are already blowing the dust off their World Cup wall charts and getting out a slide-rule to plot England's likely route to the final (yes, I'm looking at you, Sky Sports!) Especially after Argentina got beat by Saudi Arabia and Germany lost to Japan. Of the other fancied European sides Denmark looked dreadfully lethargic in their bore-draw with Tunisia and Belgium did likewise and were genuinely lucky to beat a plucky, hard-working Canada. So, yeah, no problem - England's got this in the bag, haven't they? Ignoring, of course, the fact that both France and Spain looked stunning whilst doing exactly what England did and giving the team likely to finish bottom of their respective groups (Australia and Costa Rica) a damned good, hard, trousers down hiding. And Brazil haven't even played yet! So, all-in-all, the same as usual after five days of any World Cup. Nobody knows nothing!

Meanwhile, it is an age-old truism in football that one should never, ever, do this. But, I'm going to.

Sixual Feeling

England's World Cup campaign opened in a thoroughly convincing fashion as they outclassed Iran during an incident-packed Group B match in Doha. Gareth Southgate's side strolled to victory, with Iran's hopeless plight made worse after the early loss of their goalkeeper, Alireza Beiranvand, to concussion after a clash of heads with his team-mate Majid Hosseini. Jude Bellingham got England off the mark with a soaring header from Luke Shaw's pinpoint cross ten minutes before the break shortly after Harry Maguire had hit the bar. The game was effectively wrapped up before half-time thanks to Bukayo Saka's fine strike and Raheem Sterling's classy volley with the outside of his foot from Harry Kane's centre. Iran's supporters were given a moment of delight when Mehdi Taremi scored a fine goal after sixty five minutes but it only produced a ruthless response from England as Saka scored his second and substitute Marcus Rashford added a fifth with his first involvement - both smooth, composed strikes. To put the gloss on an incredibly dominant display, Jack Grealish slotted home from close range after a good run and square pass by follow substitute Callum Wilson. Iran did pull another back in injury time when Taremi slotted in a penalty after a John Stones foul. The game - which included a whopping twenty four minutes of added time across both halves - finished, as they used to say on the Grandstand vidiprinter, England 6 (SIX), Iran 2. It was played out against the backdrop of yet more off-field controversy after England (and several other nations) were forced to ditch plans to wear OneLove armbands promoting diversity and inclusivity under threat from those well-known appeasers of fascists and dictators FIFA of players being cautioned should they carry out the gesture. It is almost impossible to deliver any firm judgement on England's World Cup prospects given the paucity of Iran's opposition but this could hardly have gone better for Southgate as his one major selection decision reaped a rich dividend and the result was near perfect (though he still expressed some post-match dissatisfaction at his side conceding two sloppy goals). Iran were expected to provide stern resistance as they currently reside in the top twenty FIFA rankings and have a recent victory against Uruguay on their record but England made light work of the task once Bellingham gave them the lead. Bellingham is being touted as one of the emerging talents at this World Cup, the nineteen-year-old Borussia Dortmund player is already a target for a host of the game's elite names. Even in the context of this game, Bellingham showed exactly why as he joined Saka as the dominant force in this game, scoring his first England goal with a magnificent header and bestriding midfield with a complete authority that belied his tender years. This was only the second time England have scored six goals in a major tournament but, on this evidence, one would not bet against the brilliant Bellingham being involved the next time it happens. Southgate picked Saka ahead of Sheikh Yer Man City's Phil Foden, the only mildly contentious decision in his line-up, but there can be no arguments after a hugely impressive performance from the twenty one-year-old who has played such a big part as The Arse currently lead the Premier League. Saka scored twice and was a threat throughout and thoroughly deserved the warm applause he received when he was substituted. It will get harder for England as they face the United States and Wales but this was the perfect start. Iran suffered the early setback of losing goalkeeper Beiranvand to suspected concussion but this was never going to change the course of the game give the chasm in class between the two sides. Iran coach Carlos Quieroz hinted at a bold approach beforehand but once the game settled down following an opening twenty minutes littered with interruptions, this match was only going one way. Iran's many fans had a moment of joy when Taremi thumped home his finish but there was little else to celebrate in this game as their team took one Hell of a beating. This was not a day without great significance, however, as both Iran's players and supporters used this global stage to make their feelings clear about the growing human rights protests against the ruling regime in their homeland. Their national anthem was shouted down by the supporters and none of the Iran players joined in singing it. Iranian fans could also be heard chanting 'Ali Karimi' in the first-half in reference to the former footballer who is one of the most outspoken critics of the Islamic Republic and among the most popular faces of the protest movement. The fans could also be heard chanting 'Be-Sharaf', which means 'dishonourable' in Persian. This is an adjective that protesters have used against security forces in Iran. It's also a useful phrase to describe that risible coward and arsehole Gianni Infantino and his idiot views. Hundreds of fans missed the start of the match because of what was described as 'an issue' with FIFA's ticketing app.

The World Cup? But, It's Only November ...

This blogger is not sure that he's ever had a really nice dream which has lasted as long as three months. But, seriously, he really does need to wake up now. After all, there's school tomorrow ...

Leicester City midfielder James Maddison has been included in England's twenty six-man squad for the forthcoming World Cup in Qatar. Gareth Southgate has also picked The Scum's Marcus Rashford and this blogger's beloved (and now, mercifully, sold) Magpies in-form striker Callum Wilson, Sheikh Yer Man City full-back Kyle Walker and The Arse's defender Ben White. But AC Milan centre-back Fikayo Tomori, Brentford striker Ivan Toney and West Hamsters United forward Jarrod Bowen missed out. England face Iran in their World Cup opener on 21 November. They are joined in Group B by Welsh Wales and the United States of America. Sheikh Yer Man City midfielder Kalvin Phillips, despite only recently returning from two months out with a shoulder problem, is also in the squad, as is centre-back Harry Maguire, who has struggled to get a game for The Scum this season. The full England squad is: Goalkeepers: Jordan Pickford (Everton), Nick Pope (Newcastle United), Aaron Ramsdale (The Arse). Defenders: Harry Maguire (The Scum), Luke Shaw (The Scum), Eric Dier (Stottingtot Hotshots) John Stones (Shiekh Yer Man City), Kyle Walker (Sheikh Yer Man City), Kieran Trippier (Newcastle United), Conor Coady (Everton), Ben White (The Arse), Trent Alexander-Arnold (Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws). Midfielders: Jude Bellingham (Borussia Dortmund), Mason Mount (The club formerly known as Moscow Chelski FC), Conor Gallagher (The club formerly known as Moscow Chelski FC), Declan Rice (West Hamster United), Jordan Henderson (Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws), Kalvin Phillips (Sheikh Yer Man City). Forwards: James Maddison (Leicester City), Phil Foden (Sheikh Yer Man City), Jack Grealish (Sheikh Yer Man City), Harry Kane (Stottingtot Hotshots), Bukayo Saka (The Arse), Raheem Sterling (The club formerly known as Moscow Chelski FC), Callum Wilson (Newcastle United), Marcus Rashford (The Scum).

Maddison's inclusion is reward for his superb form for Leicester this season. He has been instrumental in The Foxes' resurgence following their piss poor start to the season and he has six goals and four assists in twelve Premier League games. His only cap for England came almost three years ago - in a Euro 2020 qualifier against Montenegro when he played thirty five minutes. 'He is playing really well,' said Southgate. 'He is a good player. We have always said he is a good player. He has earned the right. We think he can give something slightly different to the other attacking players we have. He is playing as well as any of the attacking players in this country and he is a bit different to the others.' Walker has proved his fitness to Southgate after undergoing groin surgery and not playing for more than a month. The England boss has also put his faith in Phillips, despite the midfielder having had injury struggles throughout this season. Phillips, who has had surgery on his shoulder, returned to action as a second-half substitute in Shiekh Yer Man City's two-nil win against The club formerly known as Moscow Chelski FC in the Carabao Cup on Wednesday. Rashford has not played for England since the Euro 2020 final defeat by Italy, but the forward has scored seven goals in all competitions for The Scum this season. This blogger's beloved (and now, thankfully, sold) Magpies' striker Wilson, who has scored six goals in ten games this season, joins his team-mates Pope and Trippier in the squad, a significant tribute to the way in which Eddie Howe's side have been playing. It is the first time that Newcastle have had three players in an England World Cup squad since 1998 (Alan Shearer, David Batty and Rob Lee). Wilson and England captain Harry Kane will be The Three Lions' main striking options for the World Cup. Like Brentford's Toney and West Hamsters' Bowen, Roma striker Tammy Abraham has been overlooked. 'We have wanted to make sure we have the balance of the squad right,' added Southgate. 'In this day and age squad is more important than ever with five substitutes. You want different options for different moments of matches and different stages of the tournament as well. We have had to cover a couple of players who are not fully match fit as well so having twenty six players means you can take a couple of risks. We think the balance is there. We think we have everything covered.'

For those dear blog readers who may be unfamiliar with what we're talking about here, association football is a sport which is played between two teams of eleven players - or, if Portugal are one of them, two teams of nine ... or eight ... - using a spherical ball. Because, using a square one would be bloody ridiculous. It is widely considered to be the most popular participation and spectator sport on the planet. Except in the USA where they don't even use its proper name and think it's something that girls play. The game takes place on a pitch of rectangular grass or artificial turf. The object being to score by getting the ball into the opposing goal and then stopping them from doing the same to you. Fairly, of course. Or, if you're Italian, anyway you can. In general play, the goalkeepers are the only players allowed to use their hands to touch the ball although at least one late Argentine international tended to ignore that rule. The rest of the team use their feet to kick the ball. And, each other. Often. It's a game of two halves, Brian and, at the end of ninety minutes the team which scores the most goals will be Over the Moon and the other lot will be Sick as a Parrot. Or, to put it another way, it's a game of two halves and extra time. And then the Germans win on penalties. The game is frequently not controlled by an officious, whistle-happy berk aided by two visually-impaired prats with flags. It was invented by the English but, whisper it, we're not actually all that good at it. The Brazilians are. Usually. Except when they aren't. The Dutch and the French and the Spanish can be quite useful too but, more often than not, they end up fighting among themselves after a couple of matches. Which can be jolly amusing to watch. The game has many rules, most of which are self-explanatory. Except for offside (don't ask, trust me, we'll be here all day). Every four years the best thirty two nations in the world come together in a spectacularly expensive corporate brown-tongued hate-fest. Scotland usually don't take part. Because, as noted, it's a tournament for the world's thirty two best national sides. Thirty one of them go home muttering about bias, conspiracy, bad luck, dodgy red cards and 'that was never over the line.' There can be only one champion. A bit like the movie Highlander, only with less beheadings. Although, if you're ever seen Uruguay play ...

They'll Be In Europe Next Year ... If There's War

The top four Premier League teams will, as usual, qualify for the Champions League group stages. Shekih Yer Man City, The Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws and The Club Formerly Known As Moscow Chelski FC are already assured of top-four places. However, even if Liverpool win this season's Champions League final (they play Real Madrid on 28 May), there will be no extra place for English clubs. The title race is, as it has been since August, between City and The Pool, who are separated by but one point going into the final games on Sunday. The fourth Champions League place is between Stottingtot Hotshots and The Arse. Realistically, however, because of Spurs' vastly superior goal difference, they will finish in the top four unless they lose their final game (at Norwich) and Arsenal win theirs (at home to Everton). Liverpool's victories in both the FA Cup and theee Carabao Cup mean that the European places from those competitions automatically revert to the league. The fifth and sixth-placed Premier League teams will qualify for the Europa League group stage, while the seventh-placed team will earn a - much-coveted - place in the Europa Conference League play-off round. Sixth and seventh places is between The Scum and West Hamsters United and will be decided on the last day of the season (The Scum are at Crystal Palace, The Hamsters visit Brighton & Hove Albinos). Norwich's relegation was confirmed on 30 April when they lost to the Aston Villains, while Watford joined them on 7 May after their defeat at Crystal Palace. The final relegation place is between Burnley and Dirty Leeds following Everton's come-from-behind victory over Crystal Palace on Thursday.

Dear blog readers will, however, excuse this blogger if he fails to mention one of the best stories of the Premier League season, the unexpected (but, very welcome) turnaround in fortunes of his beloved (and now, thankfully, sold) Newcastle United. On 20 November, twelve days after Eddie Howe was appointed to replace that odious stinker Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him nasty) as manager, a draw with Brentford - coupled with Norwich beating Southampton - saw The Magpies sink to the foot of the table, winless after a dozen games and, seemingly, heading straight for the Championship. Fast forward a little over five months, a much-needed transfer window and eleven wins from eighteen games since January and Howe and his team now sit in twelfth place, the threat of relegation having long-since been banished. Sceptics - and, several of the odious Mister Bruice's big-mouthed fiends in the media - questioned whether Howe was the right appointment at St James' Park due to his attacking style of play. However, the dramatic u-turn in Th' Toon's form has silenced the doubters and made Howe a genuine hero to The Magpies' fanbase. So, many congratulations are due to 'the fellah from Bournemouth who got a team relegated' (according to his odious predecessor in the St James' Park dug-out). There are actual smiles on faces at Gallowgate these days, something notably absent during the majority of Mike Ashley's reign of misery.

Fulham clinched promotion back to the Premier League on 19 April with a three-nil win over Preston Both Ends and won the Championship title with a game to spare on 2 May, beating Luton seven-nil. Runners-up Bournemouth made sure of the second automatic promotion place on 3 May when defeating Nottingham Forest. In the play-off final at Wembley on 29 May, Huddersfield Town (who beat Luton in their semi-final) will face Nottingham Forest (who edged past Sheffield United on penalties amid a geet rive-on with kids gettin' sparked and aal sorts). The Middlesbrough Smog Monsters missed out on the play-offs, thrashed at Preston on the final day of the season. Blackburn Rovers, Millwall and West Bromwich Albinos (the latter now managed by That Nasty Mister Brucie fellow) also failed to make the play-offs. Cash-strapped Derby County's relegation to League One was confirmed on 18 April after a defeat at Queens Park Strangers (the scowl on Wayne Rooney's boat-race could be seen from space, dear blog reader), whilst Barnsley joined them four days later after a two-nil loss at Huddersfield. Peterborough United became the third relegated club, losing at home to Nottingham Forest on 23 April. Reading, Birmingham City and Hull City all avoided the drop.

Wigan Not Very Athletic clinched promotion to the Championship and won the League One title when they beat Shrewsbury three-nil on the final day of the season. Rotherham United made sure of the second automatic promotion place, winning three-nil at Gillingham. In the play-off final on 21 May, Wycombe Wanderers (who beat Milton Keynes Dons in their semi-final) will face Sunderland after The Mackem Filth overcame Sheffield Wednesday. Plymouth Argyle, Oxford United, Notlob Wanderers and Ipswich Town were amongst those who were in contention for a play-off place for much of the season but, ultimately, missed out. Crewe Alexandra were the first EFL club to be relegated on 9 April when they lost two-nil to fellow strugglers Doncaster Rovers. Relegation was not confirmed for the other three clubs until the last day of the season as Doncaster drew at Oxford, AFC Wimbledon lost four-three to Accrington Stanley (who are they?) and Gillingham lost three-nil to Rotherham. Fleetwood Town avoided relegation due to their superior goal difference whilst Morecambe & Wise FC finished two points clear of the drop zone.

Forest Green Hippy Rovers - and their, much-sung-about, meat-free pies - booked their place in League One with a goalless draw at Bristol Rovers on 23 April, while Exeter City were promoted three days later after beating Barrow two-one at the other St James' Park. Forest Green made sure of the title, drawing two-two at Mansfield on the final day, when Joey Barton's Bristol Rovers dramatically clinched the third automatic promotion place with a sensational seven-nil victory over already relegated Scunthorpe. In the play-off semi-finals, Mansfield Town beat Northampton Town, while Port Vale defeated Swindon Town on penalties. Sutton United, Tranmere Rovers, Salford FC and Newport County were among those who threatened to challenge for the play-offs but fell short. The bottom two teams were relegated to the National League; Scunthorpe United on 15 April when they lost three-nil at Leyton Orient while Oldham Not Very Athletic (a Premier League club as recently as 1994) joined them after losing two-one to Salford on 23 April in a game which was completed behind closed doors after initially being abandoned following a pitch invasion by furious Latics fans. Barrow, Stevenage, Carlisle United, Harrogate Town, Rochdale and Hartlepool all limped to safety, largely due to the on-pitch ineptitude of the two relegated clubs.

National League Champions Stockport County were promoted to League Two after beating Halifax two-nil. In the first round of the play-offs, Notts County play Grimsby Town on 23 May while FC Halifax entertain Chesterfield the following day. The winner of Notts County or Grimsby will then visit Wrexham in the semi-finals on 28 May, while Halifax or Chesterfield will be away to Solihull Moors - with the semi-final winners meeting on 5 June for a place in League Two. The bottom three teams were relegated to the National League North or South. Dover Athletic, deducted twelve points for failing to complete their 2020-21 fixtures, were the first club from England's five major leagues to be relegated after a two-nil defeat by Yeovil Town on 19 March. They were joined by Weymouth on 26 April when they lost six-one to Wrexham and King's Lynn Town on 30 April after a three-all draw with Eastleigh. The champions and play-off winners of the North and South divisions will all be promoted to the National League, restoring it to twenty four clubs. Maidstone United clinched the Southern title on 30 April, with Gateshead making sure of the North title on 2 May. G'yiddip Th' Heed! Both of the play-off finals are on 21 May. York City host Boston United at the LNER Community Stadium whilst Dorking Wanderers and Ebbsfleet United compete for the Southern promotion slot.

Scottish Premier League champions Glasgow Celtic clinched the title on 11 May, drawing at Dundee United and will enter the Champions League at the group stage (following the ban of Russian clubs from UEFA's 2022-23 competitions). Runners-up Glasgow Rangers will enter the Champions League at the third qualifying round. They would have gone straight into the group stages if they had won the Europa League final this week but, they lost on penalties to Eintracht Frankfurt. Because both Rangers and third-placed Hearts have reached the Scottish Cup final, Hearts will enter the Europa League at the play-off round. Fourth-placed Dundee United gained a place in the Europa Conference League third qualifying round and fifth-placed Motherwell will enter the same competition at the second qualifying round. Bottom placed Dundee's relegation to the Scottish Championship was confirmed on 11 May after St Johnstone beat Aberdeen. Having finished eleventh, St Johnstone face Championship side Inverness Caledonian Thistle in a two-legged play-off on 20 and 23 May.

Kilmarnock were promoted to the Premiership after beating nearest Championship rivals Arbroath on 22 April. In the play-off final, Inverness Caledonian Thistle will meet St Johnstone for the final place in next season's Premiership. Bottom club Queen of the South were relegated to League One on 23 April. Ninth-placed Dunfermline Athletic were relegated on 7 May after losing their play-off semi-final to League One side Queen's Park. Cove Rangers were promoted to the Championship as League One champions on 23 April after beating Dumbarton, while Queen's Park earned the second promotion place, defeating Airdrieonians in the play-off final. East Fife were relegated to League Two on 16 April after losing three-one to Falkirk. Ninth-placed Dumbarton were relegated on 7 May after losing their play-off semi-final to League Two side Edinburgh City. League Two champions Kelty Hearts clinched automatic promotion with a win over Stenhousemuir on 26 March, while Edinburgh City were promoted on 13 May after overcoming Annan Athletic in the play-off final. Cowdenbeath were relegated to the Lowland League on 14 May after losing a play-off to Lowland champions Bonnyrigg Rose Athletic, who will replace them in League Two in 2022-23.

There will, as usual, be dancing in the streets of The New Saints. The Oswestry club won the Cymru Premier League for the fourteenth time by a record twenty one points and, in doing so, qualified for the Champions League. They then completed the double, winning the Welsh Cup final against Penybont. Linfield won the Northern Ireland Premiership, ahead of Cliftonville and Glentoran. Crusaders, Larne and Coleraine also qualified for the Europa Conference League play-offs.

A double from the Argentina striker Lautaro Martínez earned Internazionale a three-one win at Cagliari, a victory which ensured the Serie A title race will go to the final weekend. With the leaders, AC Milan, having beaten Atalanta two-nil at the San Siro earlier on Sunday, Inter had to win in Sardinia to keep the title race alive, going in front through Matteo Darmian. Martínez added a second after the break and Inter appeared on course for a comfortable ninth win in ten matches, before Charalampos Lykogiannis brought Cagliari back into the game. Inter suffered some nervous moments before Martinez's second secured the game. Victory meant that Inter remained two points behind their Milan rivals. The champions must beat Sampdoria on Sunday and hope AC lose at Sassuolo, if they are to retain the Scudetto. Elsewhere in Serie A, Napoli made sure they will finish third, ahead of Juventus, after a three-nil win over Genoa. In La Liga, where Real Madrid had already been crowned champions some weeks ago, a late header from Youssef En-Nesyri earned Sevilla a draw at Atlético Madrid, securing Champions League qualification despite extending their winless run to four games. With one match remaining, the result left Sevilla fourth on sixty seven points, three ahead of Real Betis, but with a better head-to-head record against their local rivals. The Copa Del Rey winners, who had already secured a Europa League spot, won two-nil at home against Granada. Barcelona were held to a goalless draw at Getafe, but still wrapped up second place ahead of Atlético to secure a spot in the lucrative Spanish Super Cup. Real Sociedad secured a spot in the Europa League after recovering from going a goal down to win two-one at Villarreal. They are sixth on sixty two points, six ahead of Unai Emery's Villarreal who could failed to qualify for European competitions entirely, after reaching the Champions League semi-finals earlier this season. They are only one point ahead of eighth-placed Athletic Bilbao, who won two-nil against Osasuna. Villarreal play Barcelona next Sunday while Sevilla play Bilbao, who are still fighting for seventh place and a spot in the Europa Conference League. Alavés were relegated following a three-one defeat by Levante, while a Rúben Sobrino strike earned Cádiz a reprieve as they kept alive their slim hopes of avoiding the drop with a home draw against Real Madrid. The four-times Bundesliga champions Werder Bremen won promotion to the top division after a one-year absence with a two-nil victory over Jahn Regensburg that sealed second spot in the second division. Fußballclub Gelsenkirchen-Schalke 04 had already secured the 2 Bundesliga championship and promotion back to the top flight a year after they were relegated. Hamburger SV came from a goal down to beat Hansa Rostock three-two and finish third ahead of Darmstadt on goal difference. This sets up a play-off with Hertha Berlin in Hamburg's attempt to return to the top flight after four years. Hertha, who finished sixteenth in the Bundesliga, are managed by the former Hamburg great Felix Magath. Fußball-Club Bayern München, Borussia Dortmund, Bayer Leverkusen and RB Leipzig secured the top-four spots and places in the Champions League. Union Berlin and SC Freiburg earned Europa League finishes whilst Köln grabbed a Europa Conference League place ahead of Mainz, Hoffenheim and Borussia Mönchengladbach.

Paris Saint Germain had already won Lique Une long before their four-nil victory over Montpellier and are currently fifteen points clear of second placed Monaco before the final round of matches. Third placed Marseille and Rennes sit in the other Champions League places although Strasbourg and Nice both have a mathematical chance of finishing fourth. Lens, Lyon, Nantes and Lille complete the top ten. Metz, Brodeaux and one of the cult sides of the 1970s, Saint-Étienne, were relegated. Ajax were crowned Dutch champions with an emphatic five-nil victory over Heerenveen at the Johan Cruijff Arena, giving Scumchester United-bound coach Ten Hag the perfect send-off. The Amsterdam club, who have now extended their record number of domestic league titles to thirty six, finished four points clear of second-placed PSV Eindhoven. Ten Hag ended his four-and-a-half-year stay at the club with a third Eredivisie title. Feyenoord, FC Twente, AZ Alkmaar, SBV Vitesse Arnhem, FC Utrecht and SC Heerenveen also secured qualification for European competitions whilst Heracles Almelo, Willem II and PEC Zwolle were relegated. Go Ahead Eagles, to the relief of the legion of non-Dutch fans, finished thirteenth. In the Portuguese Primeira as expected, The Big Three - FC Porto, Sporting Lisbon and Benfica - occupied the top three places. Others who will be competing in next season's Champions League include Club Brugge and Union Saint-Gilloise (Belgium), RB Salzburg and Sturm Graz (Austria), Shakhtar Donetsk and Dynamo Kyiv (Ukraine - assuming the Russians haven't bombed them to oblivion by then), Trabzonspor (Turkey), FC København and Midtjylland (Denamrk) and Apollon Limassol (Cyprus). And, Qarabağ (Azerbaijan), Malmö FF (Sweden), Ludogorets Razgrad (Bulgaria), Sheriff Tiraspol (Moldova), CFR Cluj (Romania), Bodø/Glimt (Norway), Ferencváros (Hungary), Slovan Bratislava (Slovakia), HJK (Finland), Inter Club d'Escaldes (Andorra), Žalgiris (Lithuania), Lincoln Red Imps (Gilbraltar), Shamrock Rovers (Eire), Zrinjski (Bosnia & Herzegovina), Sutjeska Nikšić (Montenegro), Shakhtyor Soligorsk (Belarus), KÍ Klaksvík (Faroe Islands), Lech Poznań (Poland), F91 Dudelange (Luxembourg), Hibernians (Malta), FC Tobol (Kazakhstan), Shkupi (North Macedonia), RFS (Latvia), Dinamo Batumi (Georgia), Tirana (Albania), Ballkani (Kosovo), FCI Levadia (Estonia), Víkingur Reykjavík (Iceland), Dinamo Zagreb (Croatia), Olympiacos (Greece), Viktoria Plzeň (Czech Republic), Maccabi Haifa (Israel) and Fussballclub Zürich (Switzerland), plus the - as yet undecided - winners of the domestic leagues in Serbia, San Marino, Slovenia and Armenia. But, definitely not Zenit St Petersburg. They're extremely banned from the competition. Due, mainly, to the criminally-deranged activities of their nasty President (and, his very small penis). Liechtenstein is the only UEFA member nation not to have their own league and hence do not have a spot in the Champions League. Liechtensteinian club sides play in the Swiss regional leagues, with FC Vaduz currently playing in the second highest Swiss division (The Challenge League).

Draws

England could face The Scotch or Wales at the World Cup in Qatar after the draw for the tournament's finals was made on Friday. One of Wales, Scotland or Ukraine will go into Group B after the remaining European play-off path is completed. Iran and the USA have also been drawn in England's group. The World Cup takes place between 21 November and 18 December, with Senegal playing the Netherlands in the tournament's opening game. England's first fixture, taking place later on the same day, sees them take on Iran. The two sides have never met in a senior competitive international. The game will take place eight days after the Premier League begins a six-week break. Reigning champions France are in Group D while Brazil, who returned to number one in the FIFA rankings in March, are in Group G. Wales, seeking to reach their first World Cup since 1958, will have to overcome the winners of Scotland and Ukraine in the play-off final in June. However, that game - which had been scheduled to take place on 24 March at Hampden - was postponed because of Russia's invasion of Ukraine. The full draw is: Group A: Qatar, Ecuador, Senegal, Netherlands. Group B: England, Iran, USA, Wales or Scotland or Ukraine. Group C: Argentina, Saudi Arabia, Mexico, Poland. Group D: France, UAE or Australia or Peru, Denmark, Tunisia. Group E: Spain, Costa Rica or New Zealand, Germany, Japan. Group F: Belgium, Canada, Morocco, Croatia. Group G: Brazil, Serbia, Switzerland, Cameroon. Group H: Portugal, Ghana, Uruguay, South Korea. After playing Iran on 21 November, England face the USA on 25 November before finishing their Group B campaign on 29 November against one of Scotland, Wales or Ukraine. The winner of the remaining European play-off will open their World Cup campaign against the USA on the first day of the tournament. Should Scotland progress they will play England at a World Cup finals for the first time. The two sides met at last summer's Euro 2020 tournament with the game ending goalless. Wales and England have never met at a World Cup finals either (hardly surprising since Wales have only ever made the final stages once). England won two-one when the sides met in the group stage at Euro 2016. 'We've got to get out of the group,' said England manager Gareth Southgate. 'Out first objective is to get out of the group and then we build from there. When you're seeded you get the advantage of missing out on those big six or seven teams. Most of the first seeds would be pleased with the group they get. The USA are an interesting one. They've got some very good players and we know what they could be capable of, so that one in particular is an intriguing one.' The winner of England's group could meet world champions France in the quarter-finals. Topping - or, indeed, Telly Topping - Group B means a last-sixteen game with the runners-up in Group A, which contains the Netherlands, Ecuador, Senegal and hosts Qatar. Should France top Group D they will face the runners-up in Group C. Group E sees former world champions Spain and Germany drawn together. They will meet in their second group game on 27 November. The highly-fancied Belgians are in Group F alongside 2018 runners-up Croatia. Cristiano Ronaldo's Portugal are in Group H, which also sees Ghana and Uruguay meet in a rematch of the controversial 2010 World Cup Quarter-Final tie. In that game, Luis Suarez handled on the line to deny the Ghanaians a winner in the last minute of extra time. The United States will call on history - they beat England in the 1950 World Cup and drew in South Africa in 2010 - but reality insists they will be huge underdogs, even if they have a very respectable FIFA ranking of fifteenth. Usually all the teams would be known before the World Cup draw but this year three positions are yet to be decided. Russia's invasion of Ukraine has delayed the European play-off, while the coronavirus pandemic accounts for the other delays. Two intercontinental finals will be played in Qatar on 13 and 14 June. Costa Rica and New Zealand meet in one and, in the other, Peru will play the winner of the United Arab Emirates and Australia, who meet in the Asian play-off in Doha on 7 June. Those games were moved from March because of knock-on effects of the pandemic in each continent. All the Oceania qualifiers were played from 17-30 March in a mini-tournament in Qatar. European champions Italy are the most notable absentees after their play-off defeat by North Macedonia, though they did also miss out on the last World Cup. Russia also miss out after being disqualified from the play-offs following their country's invasion of Ukraine (and, the fact that their President has a very tiny member). Norway failed to qualify, meaning Borussia Dortmund's Erling Braut Haaland will have to wait for his major tournament debut. Mohamed Salah and Egypt will not be there either after losing to Senegal on penalties. Nigeria, Algeria and Côte d'Ivoire are also missing from Africa, while South American World Cup regulars Colombia and Chile also failed to qualify. And, there was also no place in the finals for The Federated States of Micronesia. Which is a shame. Meanwhile, the secretary general of the 2022 Qatar World Cup jas claimed, wrongly, that criticism by players and managers has been 'ill-informed' and the nation 'should not be apologetic' about hosting the tournament. Which no one has, this blogger believes, ever said that it should. On the other hand it should be apologetic over its disgraceful human rights record and treatment of gay people. Qatar has strict anti-LGBTIQ+ laws, while there are also concerns over the treatment of migrant workers (an unconfirmed number of who are said to have died during the construction of stadiums for the forthcoming tournament). 'Some people have made statements that in my opinion were ill-informed,' Hassan Al-Thawadi told BBC Sport's editor Dan Roan. Al-Thawadi added: 'We should not be apologetic over our ambitions to host this tournament because we are football loving region. We are football crazy and football mad like anywhere else. We have the legitimate ambition to showcase our region to the rest of the world and to change people's perception of who we are.' Homosexuality is illegal in Qatar and human rights organisation Amnesty International say women and LGBTIQ+ people 'continue to face discrimination in law and practice.' England manager Gareth Southgate has said it would be 'a great shame' that some fans will feel they cannot attend the World Cup because of concerns over their own safety, while captain Harry Kane said he wants to 'shine a light' on the issues surrounding the Qatar tournament. Netherlands manager Louis van Gaal has suggested holding the event in the Middle Eastern country was 'about money' and 'commercial interests.' No shit, Sherlock. On how Qatar's laws can be reconciled with football's focus on inclusivity and anti-discrimination, Al-Thawadi claimed, unconvincingly: 'We have always said everybody is welcome. What we will ensure is everybody will be safe. Everybody will feel secure. [We are] inviting the world to come to visit Qatar, to visit the Arab world, and to understand again, for us, we're a relatively conservative country, which means public display of affection is something that is not within our culture. But hospitality and welcoming people from different parts of the world into our country is part of our culture.' He added: 'We've done this over the last few years and we have people from different walks of life who have made a home for themselves in Qatar. I think the nature of these tournaments is it allows people from different walks of life to be able to experience and understand different cultures.' A report in the Gruniad Morning Star in February 2021 claimed that over six thousand migrant workers have died in the country since the World Cup was awarded in 2010. Qatar 2022 dispute these figures but have not commented publicly on them, while the Qatar government said in a statement: 'The mortality rate among these communities is within the expected range for the size and demographics of the population.' Asked if the 2022 tournament was sportswashing, Al-Thawadi said 'that could not be further from the truth.' One or two people even believed him.

Aal The Lads & Lasses, There, Aal With Smilin' Faces ...

The Premier League, this blogger's beloved (though, previously, unsellable) Newcastle United Football Club and St James Holdings Limited have, today, settled the dispute over the takeover of the club by the consortium of PIF, PCP Capital Partners and RB Sports & Media. A three hundred million smackers Saudi Arabian-backed takeover bid has, finally, reached a conclusion. The fact that it has happened this week, after eighteen months is something of a shock. Last week United's supporters were celebrating when they learned of a January arbitration date. Now one of the most complicated takeovers in the league's history is over and fans can dream of a brighter future. It will be a future without hated previous owner Mike Ashley and one in which the club can compete with Europe's biggest teams thanks to the billions the Saudi Public Investment Fund (PIF) can provide. 

    For a fanbase and club which has lurched from one drama to another in the past decade-and-a-half since Ashley first waddled into Th' Toon, at least there is now a blank page. No-one was expecting the takeover to be completed this week. The best anyone could have hoped for was January 2022, when arbitration between the consortium, led by financier Amanda Staveley, was scheduled in an attempt to settle a row with the Premier League about who would have control at the club. The Saudi state has been accused (rightly) of human rights abuses and was recently embroiled in a copyright row, which would have made it tricky for the takeover to go through based on the Premier League's owners' and directors' test. So, what the consortium needed to do was prove that the Kingdom's PIF, which would provide eighty per cent of the money for the takeover, was a separate entity to the state. Difficult, perhaps, when the ruling leader Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman is also listed as PIF's chairman. But with legally-binding assurances provided, that has now happened. It is understood there will be significant consequences if those agreements are broken. The consortium can also demonstrate how PIF already invests in companies, including the McLaren F1 team, without state control. 

    The precursor to news of the takeover going through on Wednesday was Qatar broadcaster beIN Sports saying it had resolved its long-running dispute about Premier League football matches being broadcast illegally in Saudi Arabia. By proving there is separation between the Saudi state and PIF that issue becomes immaterial. But after claims that beIN had previously pressured the Premier League into blocking the takeover, the timing was interesting nonetheless. There is no doubt the vast majority of fans are celebrating the Saudi Arabian-led takeover, no matter the potential distractions that come with it. A Newcastle United Supporters' Trust survey said this week that almost ninety four per cent of its members who expressed a preference were in favour of the takeover and owner Ashley has been told to 'get out of our club' at nearly every match. The situation has become especially toxic this season. Newcastle are currently winless, second bottom in the Premier League and the same fans' survey said ninety four per cent of supporters want manager Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) to leave 'in the best interests of the club.' And, to not let the door hit his arse on the way out. The takeover, they hope, will wash away the sour taste in many mouths on Tyneside. 

     PIF's assets of two hundred and fifty billion knicker dwarfs the wealth of even Sheikh Yer Man City's Abu Dhabi owners and Paris St-Germain's Qatari owners and can conjure up images of signing the likes of French World Cup winner Kylian Mbappe or recruiting Antonio Conte as a replacement for Bruce. At least, that's the theory being pushed by most of the media. 'Fans are absolutely delighted that the disastrous fourteen-year reign of Ashley is almost over,' said Greg Tomlinson of NUST. 'They are looking forward to having hope and belief in their football club for the first time in many years. We don't demand that the club is winning trophies next season. We just want growth and a football club that gets better. Fans have been beaten into the ground.' Tomlinson added: 'Clubs are bought and sold at the highest level by billionaires and sovereign states and we have not had a say in that. But as a supporters' organisation we will always support inclusion and be against discrimination and abuse of human rights. We will use our influence to effect change where we can.' Backed by the wealth of PIF, the consortium is also made up of Staveley's PCP Capital Partners and British property investors the Reuben Brothers, who are also billionaires, so there appears to be no shortage of money. Staveley, who is from Yorkshire, has spoken in the past of her admiration for Sheikh Yer Man City, having been involved in the Abu Dhabi takeover thirteen years ago. But she has also previously urged caution about lavish spending, preferring to highlight how City's owners have invested in the city of Manchester and in developing an impressive youth academy. So there is much hope from locals - this blogger very much included - that the new Newcastle regime follow a similar template. 

    From a club perspective, one of the first items on the forty eight-year-old's agenda will be overhauling the structure of the club and improving its communications with supporters. Ashley is seldom heard from and any communication from senior figures often comes in the form of statements from managing director Lee Charnley, who is Bruce's go-to man when it comes to transfers. Or, lack of them. But there is no chief executive tasked with running the club, there is no director of football and Bruce is the public figure who has to face weekly questions about everything from legal cases to lack of funds for players, which led to huge frustration in the summer. At which he is, quite simply, about as much use as a chocolate fireguard. Bruce, a Newcastle fan himself - something he trots out with monotonous regularity - claims that he 'only wants what's best for the club and if that means a takeover, then great.' But with the new owners seeking to establish a bond with supporters, the sixty-year-old's position will be under serious threat. Without any ability to sign players until January, a replacement, big-name manager, would at least signify their intent. Staveley praised the former - highly-regarded - Newcastle boss Rafael Benitez when she first made her move for the club in 2018. But the Spaniard has made a fine start with Everton this season. Other fans have said they would like former Juventus, Italy and Moscow Chelski FC manager Conte, who is available. Other managers on the market include another former Moscow Chelski FC boss Frank Lampard and former Sheffield United manager Chris Wilder - although appointment of the latter would be regarded as a significantly retrograde step by many. Current coach Graeme Jones could also work as an interim replacement should Bruce get his large backside kicked out of the front door at St James Park into the gutter along with all the other effluence. After a poor start to the Premier League season, the most important objective will be maintaining the club's top-flight status. But for a lot of fans the future suddenly looks at least a little bit brighter. Of course, we've been here before - fourteen years ago, to be exact when Ashley took over the club. So, the age-old truism 'be careful what you wish for, it might just come true' is, always, worth having in the back of ones mind. Nevertheless, Amanda Staveley has told NUFC fans they are 'the greatest in the world.' Which, in one sentence, is more than those same fans ever got out of Ashley's gob. The British businesswoman greeted supporters at the Jesmond Dene Hotel, where the consortium members had been awaiting the announcement. She told supporters: "It has taken us four years to get here today. I know everyone has got a lot of questions about managers and players and things. Right now, we just want to get in and do a review of the business and we are going to let you all know the plans. We're here to invest. We are patient. We are genuinely here to try and make sure that we try and become the best custodians of the club we can be. You are the greatest fans in the world."' She added: 'This is a long-term investment. We are excited about the future prospects for Newcastle United. We intend to instill a united philosophy across the club, establish a clear purpose, and help provide leadership that will allow Newcastle United to go on to big achievements over the long term. Our ambition is aligned with the fans – to create a consistently successful team that’s regularly competing for major trophies and generates pride across the globe.' Good words. Now, back 'em up with some positive actions and a bit of progress and, trust this blogger Mandy, m'love, you'll be able to walk across the Tyne without getting your feet wet on the wave of goodwill that'll be coming your way.

They Were Only Supposed To Blow The Bloody Doors Off

Sunday saw the final of the socher-ball Euro 2020(ish) competition played at yer actual Wembley Stadium. If you missed it, we lost. Next ...

Almost twenty four viewers watched England's historic Euro 2020(ish) victory against Denmark on Wednesday on ITV. According to overnight figures, the semi-final at Wembley brought an average audience of 23.86 million. The last five minutes of the match drew a peak audience of 25.71 million - almost five million more than the peak audience recorded during the previous Saturday's match against Ukraine. The game was the most watched non-news event since Croatia knocked England out of the 2018 World Cup at the semi-final stage. That match was watched by 24.3 million in July 2018. England's four-nil win over Ukraine attracted a peak TV audience of 20.9 million, making it the most-watched live TV event of the year up to that point. The most watched event of recent years remains the Prime Minister's May 2020 coronavirus announcement, which was seen by 27.49 million viewers across six different channels.

Meanwhile, a TV audience of a fraction under thirty one million punters watched the tense closing minutes of the Euro 2020(ish) final, overnight figures show. Ratings peaked during Sunday's calamitou penalty shootout between England and Italy at Wembley, which was broadcast on both the BBC and ITV. An average of 29.85 million watched the whole match live. Te combined figure makes it the highest TV audience since the funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales, in 1997. Whilst England goalkeeper Jordan Pickford saved two of the Azzurri's spot kicks in what was, very much, a game of two halves, Marcus Rashford hit the post with his spot-kick before Jadon Sancho and Bukayo Saka had theirs saved to hand Italy a, in the end, well deserved victory. 'You can cut ratings in so many different ways and audience measurement has changed over the years, but safe to say this: it is among the biggest audiences in UK broadcasting history,' said Deadline's international editor Jake Kanter. In footballing terms, the highest ratings before Sunday's figures were released came from the West Germany versus England semi-final at the World Cup in 1990, watched by twenty five million viewers across both of the main hannels. That also featured a painful penalty shootout exit for England. The official audience for Sunday's match may rise still further when those who saw it via catch-up services are taken into account. The overwhelming majority of people watched the coverage on BBC as compared to ITV - by a factor of more than four to one.

Nursing A Semi

England's fifty five-year wait to reach a major socher-ball final is over after victory against Denmark at Euro 2020(ish). On a night of nerve-shredding tension followed by unconfined joy and delirium at a rocking Wembley Stadium. Gareth Southgate's side were on a mission to travel one step further than any England side had since 1966 (and all that) and the World Cup final win against West Germany. They finally achieved the long-cherished goal as they came from behind to triumph in extra time against the plucky Danes. In front of sixty six thousand fans and in a frenzied, thunderous atmosphere this newer Wembley has not experienced before, England battled their way out of adversity to secure a meeting with Italy in the final at the same venue on Sunday. And, they'll probably lose because, that's England for you!

Sometimes, your luck is just in, you catch a break when you most need it and, after so much major tournament semi-final heartache over the past decades, England finally got something to go their way and, in the process, one of these suffocatingly high-tension encounters to follow suit. They had to fight for victory against steely opponents - who had an inspired keeper in yer actual Bacon Sandwich Junior, Kasper Schmeichel - especially after conceding their first goal of the tournament to Mikkel Damsgaard's free-kick after thirty minutes. But they replied quickly as Denmark captain Simon Kjær turned in Bukayo Saka's threatening cross six minutes before the break getting to the ball inches ahead of Raheem Sterling. Schmeichel was Denmark's hero as the hosts sought the winner, saving brilliantly from Harry Maguire and Harry Kane as the game went into extra time and the prospect of penalties loomed large. The moment the nation has awaited so long effectively arrived with Wembley's giant screens showing one hundred and three minutes and Kane standing over a penalty after Sterling had been fouled by Joakim Mæhle. The contact appeared minimal but the Dutch referee, Danny Makkelie (who had an excellent game throughout), felt it was sufficient to award the penalty and VAR agreed with the decision. To compound the uneasiness, there was a second ball on the pitch at the time, although it did not appear to have affected play. In keeping with England's long and tortuous history, it was not straightforward as the normally ice-cool Kane saw a pretty awful penalty saved by Schmeichel - but the rebound fell back at Kane's feet and he scored. Kane has now equalled Gary Lineker's long-standing record of ten goals for England at major tournaments. Wembley promptly went pure dead off-it with deafening noise and bananas celebrations and, after all the 'years of hurt,' England now have the golden opportunity to finally claim a major crown. The biggest crowd at a British sporting event in sixteen months had provided the noise throughout, living every moment and now they knew the end was in sight. The night would belong to them, to Gareth Southgate and his squad that has ripped up the old narratives around the England team. At last, Denmark were broken. They would finish with ten men after their substitute Mathias Jensen was injured in the one hundred and fifth minute with all of the replacements having been used. They simply had nothing left. England had suffered and worried, they always do. But in the second period of extra time there was an unusual sense of comfort and even serenity as Southgate’s players closed out the game with great common sense, keeping their composure, taking care to play keep-ball. The statistics showed that Denmark only touched the ball once inside the England area in those final fifteen minutes. England deserved it. They had considerably more shots than their opponents and, from an early point in the second half, it was they that were constantly on the front foot - the fact that the best player on the pitch, by a distance, was Schmeichel was telling. On an unforgettable night, England answered two of the most crucial questions surrounding them. For all the promise and progress since the bitter disappointment of defeat to Croatia in the World Cup semi-finals in Moscow in 2018, the players and manager needed to demonstrate they could overcome what has proved to be an insurmountable hurdle for both themselves and their predecessors, after they also came up short in the last four at the Italia 1990 World Cup and Euro 1996. This was the acid test - at least before Sunday's final against a formidable Italy - and they delivered the goods not only in the context of Euro 2020(ish) but also in demonstrating their character and big-match mentality. England went into this semi on a wave of expectation and national optimism after the last-sixteen victory against Germany at Wembley was followed up by the emphatic four-nil demolition of Ukraine in the quarter-final in Rome. And they faced a test of their nerve when they fell behind to this excellent Danish side. Pierre-Emile Højbjerg and Kasper Dolberg went close - the latter after a poor Pickford clearance - and England were in trouble when Damsgaard summoned whip and power on his free-kick. It was the first goal Pickford had conceded in seven hundred and twenty five minutes for England. England were ragged at this point - the worst they'd played since their ponderous and lethagic first round game with The Scotchland - but the response was full of conviction, equalising swiftly then taking control before the tiring Danes and the magnificent Schmeichel were finally overcome with Kane's winner. Southgate's team has crossed a barrier no England team has made it beyond since Sir Alf Ramsey's World Cup winners - now we must wait to see if it will give them the confidence and belief to clear the final hurdle. As Southgate will have demanded of them, England's big players made their impact when it mattered most on a night when failure would have been hard to bear. Kane, who struggled to get into Euro 2020(ish) during the group stage, rode his luck to score his fourth - and most important - goal of the tournament after his missed penalty, but his performance was full of energy and menace. He is back to his best and how England will need that against the two great Italian central-defensive warriors Giorgio Chiellini and Leonardo Bonucci, who have a quality and street-wisdom reflected in their combined total of seventy years. Sterling continued his superb tournament, reflected in the run that earned England's match-winning penalty, hitting at the heart of Denmark's outstanding defence until he finally drew the crucial mistake. The Scum's Harry Maguire, an injury doubt who did not even make the start of the tournament, is now back in the role where Southgate wants him - defensive leader, powerhouse and ever-present set-piece danger at one end and blockade at the other. There were, in fact, fine performances from all of the back four - Kyle Walker in particular - whilst Saka, Mason Mount and late substitute Phil Foden showed plenty of drive and energy going forward. Once the euphoria has died down and England's heroes clear their heads, they must go above and beyond the call of duty once more. There were tears among Denmark's players as the final whistle sounded on their Euro 2020(ish) campaign, one which began with the trauma of Christian Eriksen's cardiac arrest in their opening game against Finland then went on to be a huge credit to coach Kapser Hjulmand and his team. Denmark had the air of a squad on a mission as Eriksen thankfully continues his recovery but they were not simply fuelled by emotion, this was a team with quality and character who fully deserved to reach the last four. And, make no mistake, Denmark made this a very awkward night for England but might just curse the failure to protect their lead to half-time. This was a cruel night for Hjulmand and his team - but they have graced Euro 2020(ish) with their strength, unity and their performances. Pickford set a new record for an England goalkeeper for most minutes without conceding overtaking Gordon Banks' seven hundred and twenty minutes set between May/July 1966. England won a European Championship knockout game after going behind for the first time, while it's the first time they have done so in a major tournament since their three-two win over Cameroon in the 1990 World Cup quarter-final. This was the seventh game at Euro 2020(ish) to go to extra time, with the 1990 and 2014 World Cups the only major tournaments to see more matches go to the extended period (eight each). Mikkel Damsgaard's opening goal for Denmark was the first direct free-kick goal of Euro 2020(ish). Jack Grealish became the third England player to be both subbed on and then off in a match at a major tournament whenhe was replaced by Kieran Trippier for the second half of extra time, after Jamie Redknapp (against The Scotchland in Euro 1996) and Aaron Lennon (against Portugal in the 2006 World Cup). Although the decision seemed to surprise some commentators, Grealish had begun to give the ball away rather too often and, England's dominance during the final fifteen minutes justified Southgate's switch. At nineteen years and three hundred and five days, Bukayo Saka became the youngest Englishman to start a match at the semi-final stage or later of a major tournament.