That Sixual Feeling

Yer Keith Telly Topping's beloved - though still, seemingly, unsellable - Newcastle United achieved a rousing victory over Aston Villa in their first home game in the Premier League since their return to top-flight football. In front a crowd of almost forty four thousand, Joey Barton opened the proceedings with a screamer from twenty five-yards, whilst skipper Kevin Nolan scored two on the day. But it was the Tynesiders number nine, Andy Carroll, who stole the show with a sensational hat-trick. The Toon's boss Chris Hughton saw Peter Lovenkrands return to the fold after shaking off an ankle injury, but the Dane had to settle for a place on the bench. Defensive signing Sol Campbell also remained sidelined for this encounter owing to a lack of match fitness as did Danny Guthrie and long-term injury casualties Steven Taylor, Danny Simpson and new signing Dan Gosling. Villa's caretaker boss, Kevin MacDonald, had striker John Carew in the starting line-up despite the forward having an ongoing knee problem, while fellow forward Gabriel Agbonlahor was absent due to a hamstring injury. MacDonald also chose to hand new signing Stephen Ireland his debut for the club after the midfielder arrived from Manchester City earlier in the week. Newcastle's first home game following their return to the big boys league, and a sobering - albeit, in a way refreshing - 3-0 defeat at Old Trafford on Monday, began positively, with a clear idea of how to go about their movement in the attacking third of the pitch. But the visitors were no less an attacking force early on. And their efforts earned them a golden opportunity as midfielder Ashley Young was taken down by goalkeeper Steve Harper as he chased a long ball. The referee pointed to the spot, to Harper's evident fury, and Carew stepped up to take it. But it was a shocker of a spot kick for a player of his experience - going for power instead of placement - and the ball sailed harmlessly over the bar. Less than a minute later, Jonas Gutierrez passed to fellow midfielder Barton, who let loose a beautifully struck shot from twenty five yards, which flew past Brad Friedel into the top corner of the old onion bag. Game, as they say, very much on. Barton - seemingly enjoying his football again after three seasons of more or less constant injury, controversy, fall outs with managers, common assault and more than a bit of porridge - had declared that he would shave off his recently acquired Oswald Mosley-style moustache as soon as United recorded their first win of the season. So, you can get the Gillette Mac-III out tonight, Joey. At this point, a special mention must be made concerning about crass, ignorant and disgraceful, excrement-agenda smeared Mackem supporting scumbag Louise Taylor in the Gruniad Morning Star for trying to stir some shit up by suggesting that the comments of a few glakes on the Internet misinterpreting Barton's celebration as a right-wing salute constitutes a major controversy. Or, even a minor one. 'A glorious afternoon for Newcastle United, featuring a hat-trick from Andy Carroll, was overshadowed [my italics] by Joey Barton's questionable goal celebration today.' No it wasn't, you silly bag. Not even remotely close. To be fair, even the vile, rancid numskull Taylor - who already has quite a bit of previous over exactly this kind of vomit-flecked anti-Newcastle manure - wasn't alone in her scummish stirring. The Daily Scum Mail also got in on the act. What a lovely bedfellow to have, Louise, your mother must be so proud of you. In fact, that's about the only time you'll ever see those two excuses for newspapers agreeing on pretty much anything ... other than their mutual loathing for Top Gear. I never thought, or particularly wanted to, see the day when I'd quite literally be punching the air at a cross-section of Daily Scum Mail readers' replies to a story and seeing them calling it what it is, absolute rank diarrhoea. I particularly enjoyed 'Zayd of Cardiff's response: 'If this is twisted into a nazi salute then it shows how desperate the tabloids are for some controversy.' Again, my italics. And, you can add to 'tabloids' dreary leftie-scum broadsheets too, it would seem. Anyway, back to the match and a little past the thirty-minute mark, the home side doubled their lead when a great early cross by Jose Enrique saw Carroll head the ball it into the path of Nolan, who headed it towards goal. The attempt was blocked but the former Bolton Wanderers midfielder grabbed the rebound. The hosts went into cruise control after thirty four minutes, when a corner from Barton saw defender Richard Dunne make a mess of the clearance. This allowed Carroll, who'd had a very good first half to that point, to showcase his predatory skills by striking a low left-footed shot into the bottom corner. Villa had a decent amount of possession for a short period in the second half, when there appeared to be a lull in the storm. But the second city outfit were unable to capitalise on their possession, as it was only a few more minutes before they hit the rocks again. Though, they did provide the crowd with their best laugh of the day when, at four-nil down, their answer was to bring on Emile Heskey! Hilarious. A corner from Barton in the sixty eighth minute ended up with Mike Williamson lobbing the ball back into the box. Carroll took it brilliantly on the volley and scored from fifteen-yards out. Following the fourth goal, the Villains looked completely deflated and their arses fell out completely as United looked like they could score at every given opportunity. The impressive Wayne Routledge missed two glorious opportunities for the Magpies as those Toonies who'd made the sacrifice of having a pint at the pub in favour of egging their players on were treated to a special day at St James' Park. Nolan tried his luck from close range to find the back of the net for a second time and, to cap a perfect afternoon for the Magpies, twenty one year old Carroll bagged his third with a shot in stoppage time from a pass by substitute Xisco, as former Toon striking legends Alan Shearer and Malcolm MacDonald looked on in appreciation. Hughton's team may not be particularly pretty but, for today at least today, they looked streetwise and up for it, Andy Carroll bullying Richard Dunne and co into the white flag of submission en-route to a hat-trick in exactly the same way he bullied a lot of Championship defences last season. All on a day when Villa simply, and quite shamefully, surrendered in the late summer sunshine. There is a feeling around St James' that Alan Smith may soon be surplus to requirements, especially as Hughton had today completed the signing of Cheick Tioté, the Ivory Coast defensive midfielder, from the Dutch champions, FC Twente. Tioté still requires a work permit but securing it is expected to be a formality. However, Smith had a fine match today as did Jonas Gutierrez - heavily criticised by Shaun Custis on this morning's Soccer Supplement after an ineffectual performance at Old Trafford. Mind you, Custis - that worst of creatures an exiled Georide in London with a crappy misty-eyed nostalgia for a place he couldn't wait to get away from in the first place - also had a go at Nolan who was probably the best player on the park today. So he clearly knows nowt! The six-nil victory for United followed Chelsea and Arsenal demolishing their opponents - Wigan Athletic and Blackpool respectively - by the same scoreline yesterday. Of course, as always in such circumstances, the inevitable question is were United really that good or was it Villa who were that spineless and wretched? Or, was it a bit of both? To be honest, I can't give you a short answer on that one, dear blog reader. Probably it was a bit of both. I only know that at the start of the season I'd've taken a fourth bottom finish for my club and avoidance of relegation like a shot. This afternoon, I'm starting to think of upping my ambitions for the season. To fifth bottom, at least! The result leaves United in seventh place in Premiership. Okay, can we just stop the season now, that'd certainly do me! As the Daily Mash did a brilliant send up of the whole thing, I'm just concentrating on the fact that we've got three points from two games. Another thirty seven of those and we'll be safe from relegation. Priorities, gentlemen. Always priorities.

One additional point: As previously mentioned, dear blog reader, yer Keith Telly Topping always used to have something of a soft spot for the Villa - along with Man City and Everton - but, a couple of years ago, I had the extreme misfortune to cross paths with a couple of their more gobby shitescum lice supporters on an Internet message board who had crawled out from under a stone and had plenty to say for themselves about other clubs many faults. Of course, when Villa themselves subsequently had a bit of a bad run, like most crass Internet bullies, they promptly shat in their own pants and ran an effing mile. To such an extent that since that day, hoping the Villa get a ruddy damned good shafting off whomsoever they're playing is always one of the first things this blogger looks for, hopefully, each weekend. So, as you can probably tell, I'm an extra specially happy Mag today.

Accrington Stanley? Who Are Dey?

Accrington Stanley have been rewarded for their Carling Cup defeat of Championship Doncaster with a second-round tie at home against yer Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle United. Bradford, who beat Nottingham Forest, will host Preston, while Derby's conquerors Crewe will entertain Ipswich. Morecambe will play Burnley, Southend travel to Wolves and Port Vale meet Fulham. The ties will be played in the week commencing 23 August, with the Premier League sides involved in European competition joining in round three.

According to the Daily Mirror - so, as ever, take this with a vat of salt if necessary - Craig Bellamy has 'ruined' any chance he had of being named in Manchester City's twenty five-man Premier League squad after criticising boss Roberto Mancini as reported yesterday. Mancini is said to be 'seething' over Bellamy's outburst, in which the mouthy Welsh troublemaker claimed that he had not spoken to his manager in six months and criticised the Italian for his perceived aloofness.

Meanwhile, the Daily Scum Mail alleges that Sunderland manager and former Manchester United captain Steve Bruce had to borrow a Leeds tie to be allowed into the VIP area at Elland Road on Tuesday to watch his son, Alex, make his debut for the club. Derby boss Nigel Clough was allegedly refused entry last weekend because he was wearing a tracksuit.

Steven Gerrard scored twice in four second-half minutes as England came from behind to defeat Hungary in their first outing since their awful World Cup campaign. England, by and large, received warm backing from the seventy two thousand crowd inside Wembley, with applause comfortably outweighing booing after a performance during which Fabio Capello's team produced some occasional eye-catching attacking moves. But the crowd did voice their severe dissatisfaction when Phil Jagielka unfortunately guided a low cross into his own net after sixty two minutes. Capello had apologised for the team's performance at the World Cup in the build-up to the friendly, while Gerrard admitted that he expected his team to be booed. And while it is true that the likes of Ashley Cole and Wayne Rooney were the subjects of jeers as they were substituted, with the latter responding by waving to the crowd, the large-scale outpouring of frustration did not materialise and England were applauded from the field at the final whistle. England began the match with seven of the team thrashed by Germany in the starting line-up, but there were few comparisons to be drawn with their abject performance in Bloemfontein as Capello's men started at a crisp pace and looked full of energy and invention. The coach had moved away from the much-maligned 4-4-2 formation, opting instead to play Barry, Gerrard and Lampard in a central midfield area, with Adam Johnson and Theo Walcott, who were both left out of the World Cup squad, providing the width as Rooney operated as a lone striker. Rooney was rarely isolated as both Lampard and, particularly, Gerrard showed a willingness to push into advanced positions.

To Leave One Club, Mr Bellamy, Might Be Regarded As Misfortune. To Leave Twelve Looks Like Carelessness

Craig Bellamy had a furious row with Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini back in February - and says he has not spoken a word to the manager since. Craig Bellamy falling out with a manager at a team he plays for? No, surely not? The Welsh striker claims that he is not the only player at Eastlands to be cold-shouldered by the Italian. Bellamy, thirty one, has been nursing a knee injury and has hardly featured in pre-season while players such as the Brazilian, Jo, have been playing regularly. The ten million pound signing from West Ham said: 'I haven't spoken to the manager since February. There are a number of players, like Carlos Tevez and me, who he doesn't speak to and keeps us away. I'm not sure if it's personal. Maybe it's the way he deals with things and it's his manner. But I've got a fair indication of what they all think, though, as I've had eighty minutes in pre-season. I've even seen players not part of the club over the last three years get more minutes than me.' During City's recent tour of the USA, Bellamy indicated he wanted to stay with City and fight for his place. With his age and a series of knee problems against him, he felt remaining at Eastlands was his best chance of winning silverware. But Bellamy is now eyeing the exit door, according to the Sun, and claims he is not short of offers - with Spurs and Wolfsburg showing an interest. A reunion with Mark Hughes at Fulham or a move to hometown club Cardiff also appeal, although it is doubtful either could get near his current ninety thousand pounds-a-week wages. Bellamy added: 'There's been two clubs in the top seven who have tried to get me. Man City obviously want me to go, but not to one of their rivals. I've turned down Wolfsburg - they are the only club they tried to push me into. City wanted Edin Dzeko so they were pushing for a deal and wanted me to go the other way. But I've had my most offers ever and felt more wanted elsewhere. It's obvious Spurs have tried for me but Man City have declined.' Mancini will name his twenty five-man Premier League squad at the end of this month and Bellamy fears the worst, even though he claims he would like to stay. The Welshman said: 'If I'm not on the list, which is unlikely, then the only games I will get are with the reserves. I'm so committed to where I am and with the new players coming in I'm driving to stay here. But that's unlikely to happen. I've just come back after my best year in football. I got double figures in goals and double figures in assists and that's all as a midfielder. Enough said.' Bellamy hopes his former Wales, Blackburn and City boss Sparky Hughes might be able to raise the funds to take him to Craven Cottage. He added: 'If you look at my form with Mark Hughes I don't just become a good player, I become one of the top players in the Premier League. He gets the best out of me. Cardiff is another possibility. I've always wanted to play for them and my wife and kids live there.' Now, yer Keith Telly Topping was fortunate enough to see Bellas for three years at, probably, his peak when he was playing for Bobby Robson's Newcastle, and I have only this to say at the man. Craig Bellamy, at his best, is an asset to any team ... and a sodding liability to any club. I mean, there does reach a point after a player has been signed and then left one club after another for year-after-year throughout his career that he has to look at himself and say 'you know, I don't think the problem so much is with them, it's me.' Great player, and I mean that. Fast, nippy, scores goals, creates goals. But, rubbish attitude. I always remember years ago, Bruce Rioch his first manager at Norwich saying that Craig was 'a great lad. The only problem is, he wants to run the club!' Argumentative, angry little sod who works his ticket and, generally, gets on people's nerves - at Norwich, at Coventry, at Newcastle, at Celtic, at Blackburn, at Liverpool, at West Ham and, now, at Man City. And, always with the opposition, which is the good part of his game! So, who's next to experience everything Craig has to offer in the way of team morale building and good old fashioned Boy's Own Fun during nights oot on the pop? When he had something thrown at him from out of the crowd during last year's Manchester derby the police were said to have narrowed down a list of suspects to 'everyone who's ever met him.'

Aston Villa chairman Randy Lerner's right-hand man has said Martin O'Neill did a great job but left because he thought he was bigger than the club. General Charles C Krulak - no, really - believes O'Neill quit as manager because he was unwilling to accept the financial limits he was expected to work under. 'No one person is bigger than our club. Not me, not Randy, not chief executive Paul Faulkner, not Martin,' the General added, before bellowing 'secure that shit, boy! Yessir, I lurv the Corp!' No, he didn't. But, it would have been pure dead funny if he had. 'What's interesting is that apparently only three of those understand that.' Krulak said there was 'no question' O'Neill had done a good job for Villa in his four years at the club but he felt coverage of the Northern Irishman's exit had been one-sided. 'There is no question he did a good deal for Villa and I've said over and over that he did a fine job,' he commented. 'At the same time, I can promise everyone that he knew and understood the long-range plans for the club and bought into them. Martin was absolutely supported by the owner. All one needs to do is look at the money spent. The reality is the wage-to-revenue issue was not addressed and apparently he was unwilling to help address it. He knew full well about the need to bring wages in line with revenue - the same as every Premiership club.' O'Neill has yet to reveal his reasons for resigning on Monday - only five days before the start of the new Premier League campaign. Meanwhile, Krulak thinks there could be tough times ahead for Villa but is confident they can still make a realistic challenge for the Champions League after three successive top-six finishes. 'Do I think we have some rough times ahead? Probably but nothing that we can't handle,' added the non-executive Villa director. Didn't your boys say the same thing about Iraq? Anyway ... 'I have been in some tough scrapes before and I never got out of them by wishing it away. I just put my head down and continued to grind it out. At the end of the day, is the aim to get into the Champions League? Absolutely. Is this realistic? Absolutely. Do we still have a way to go? Absolutely. We will continue to try to do what is right by the Villa with the very best of intentions. Will we always get it right? Probably not but we will work damn hard to do the right things.'

An investigation has been launched into allegations that North Korea punished some players and the coach after its team lost all their World Cup matches. FIFA says it is looking into claims made by Radio Free Asia last month that the squad was publicly humiliated and coach Kim Jong-hun sentenced to hard labour. FIFA's president said a letter had been sent to North Korea's footballing body. North Korea lost to Brazil, Portugal and Ivory Coast at the World Cup. Radio Free Asia reported that North Korea's national team had been summoned to a public meeting in Pyongyang, where players were criticised by officials, including the sports minister, for six hours. The players were then ordered to reprimand their coach, the report said, quoting anonymous sources in North Korea and a Chinese businessman said to be 'knowledgeable' about North Korean affairs. The report also spoke of 'rumours' that the coach was sentenced to 'forced labour at a residential building site in Pyongyang.' There were no reports of the meeting in North Korean state media, nor has neighbouring South Korea been able to confirm the claims. After the team's impressive performance during a 2-1 defeat to Brazil, the North Korean authorities overturned a ban on showing live games. The match against Portugal - the state's first ever live sports broadcast - could not have been worse, with the national side thrashed 7-0 in a match that stunned commentators. Speaking at a news conference in Singapore, FIFA president Sepp Blatter said of the allegations: 'The first step is the federation and we'll see what the answer will be, and then we can elaborate on that.' Asian Football Confederation chief Mohamed Bin Hammam said he had met several World Cup players in North Korea last month, but coach Kim was not present. 'There was an unconfirmed report that these players have gone through torture or something like that, but I can't confirm that,' he said. 'I haven't seen anything with my eyes or heard anything with my ears. Maybe this FIFA investigation can clear the air.'

Newcastle's pursuit of French international midfielder Hatem Ben Arfa looks to be in the balance, given the latest updates from his current employer, Olympique Marseille and from French sources. Hopes had been high on Monday that a deal would be concluded, despite the two clubs still haggling over the level of fee payable for a season-long loan at St James Park. French newspaper L'Equipe wrote: 'Hatem Ben Arfa is undoubtedly very close to discovering the joys of the Premier League. The former Lyon player has in effect been authorised by Marseilles to negotiate with the directors of the Magpies for a loan of one year with an option to buy according to the club cited by Agence France Presse.' The information was later denied by Marseilles chairman Jean-Claude Dassier and coach Didier Deschamps. The two clubs have agreed a loan of one season for €1.2m, together with an option to buy at the end of the season. The amount of the option has not been revealed. However, Monday evening then brought the following comments from Dassier on the official OM website: 'We have a meeting every Monday. It was a professional meeting at the heart of the transfer window. We had to sit down and make sure we all knew where we are and everything went well. We made a certain number of decisions but you have to be discreet during the transfer window. Our desire is to reinforce the squad. Newcastle United are interested (in Hatem Ben Arfa) but for the moment we have not reached an agreement, so we aren't talking about it. We are working with the representatives of Newcastle and with Hatem Ben Arfa.'

The Mirror claims that Ian Holloway is on a collision course with Blackpool chairman Karl Oyston after becoming exasperated with his meddling and cautious financial approach. The club finally confirmed yesterday their play-off heroes have been paid their bonuses for winning promotion to the Premier League last season. But Seasiders boss Holloway, forty seven, is desperately struggling to attract new players to the club due to Bloomfield Road's rigid wage structure. Strikers Rob Hulse, Jon Stead and now even free agent Marlon Harewood have all turned the Tangerines down. Holloway offered Harewood - who looked such a useless lump whilst on loan at Newcastle last season - a two-year deal including a goal bonus and survival bonus. But Oyston dramatically (though, perhaps, sensibly) rescinded Holloway's offer yesterday and only tabled a twelve-month contract with the option of another year on the same money just if Blackpool survive. Oyston's decision prompted Harewood to walk away from negotiations and left Holloway fuming. It adds to his misery after also missing out on Leicester striker DJ Campbell, who scored eleven goals for the Seasiders while on loan last term. 'The one I wanted to do more than anything else was DJ. I'm sorry I am not in control of that,' Holloway said. But Oyston has at least coughed up the players' bonuses due from last season. Oyston said: 'We didn't get the first chunk of Premier League money in the bank until Thursday and they have received it. I'm delighted about that and I hope they earn another five million this year by keeping us in Premier League.'

Second City, Second Class Ambition

Aston Villa are looking for a new manager after the shock departure of Martin O'Neill only five days before the new Premier League season starts. The club have yet to comment on the situation but names linked with them include Ajax manager Martin Jol and United States coach Bob Bradley. Villa play West Ham on Saturday, with reserve-team boss Kevin MacDonald preparing the team in a caretaker role. Rumours have claimed that the highly-regarded O'Neill resigned on Monday over the club's transfer policy. Both Villa and O'Neill - who led the club to sixth place in the top flight and the Carling Cup final last season - have refused to disclose any reasons behind the decision, which brought his four-year tenure to an abrupt end and threw preparations for the new campaign into turmoil. In May, owner Randy Lerner insisted O'Neill had pledged his future to Villa after much speculation over whether or not the former Leicester City and Glasgow Celtic boss would leave. But it has been widely speculated that O'Neill - one of the most articulate and likeable managers currently working in the game - felt it was the end of the road after learning that he would not be able to reinvest most of the money generated from England midfielder James Milner's imminent move to Manchester City. Lerner had backed O'Neill in the transfer market since the latter replaced full-of-his-own-importance David O'Bleary in August 2006, from which point the Northern Irishman has largely transformed the fortunes of Villa. But it became clear this summer that similar investment would not be forthcoming, with Lerner insisting that Villa, who face Rapid Vienna in the Europa League later this month, would have to adopt a sell-to-buy policy. BBC Radio 5Live's Midlands football reporter Pat Murphy stated that while there are names in the frame, there is no single stand-out candidate to replace O'Neill. 'Alan Curbishley is available, there's no compensation issue and he's desperate top get back into Premier League management,' he added. 'So is Sven-Goran Eriksson, who feels he has unfinished business after being sacked by Manchester City. Eriksson would appeal to Randy Lerner because of his understated diplomatic style, rather than the engaging and bloody-minded Martin Jol - who recently flirted with Fulham while playing fast and loose with his present club Ajax. Gareth Southgate has recent Premier League experience at Middlesbrough, where he was unluckily sacked, and his time as a manager will surely come again. But many Villa fans have not forgiven him for criticising the club for a lack of ambition when he left ten years ago.' He also wasn't unlucky to be sacked having led the club to relegation. Ditto Curbishley with West Ham. It's remarkable, isn't it? Every time a job comes up for grabs, it's the same handful of names in the frame. The reason why most of them are unemployed in the first place is because they - often spectacularly - failed in the previous job or jobs. See also, Sourness, Graeme. And, indeed, O'Bleary, David. Bradley, whose contract with the US Soch-her Federation runs out in December, has became one of the bookmakers' favourites for the vacant job after stressing that he would love to work in Europe when asked about the Villa speculation. 'I have said over and over as well that I am always excited about new and different challenges,' he commented. 'Certainly coaching in Europe at some point is something that I would love to do.' Lerner is a fellow American, while Bradley had previously been linked with the Fulham managerial position before the appointment of former Manchester City boss Mark Hughes. Milner's exit would come only a year after former Villa captain Gareth Barry also moved to Eastlands. Former Villa captain Martin Laursen said he was not surprised that O'Neill left the club but added that he did not think his departure would be followed by several players. 'He wanted more than Randy Lerner could give him,' Laursen told BBC Sport. 'He is so ambitious that when he doesn't get what he wants he walks away but I don't think more players will leave. If Martin O'Neill gets another important job then he might take some with him but I don't think players will leave because O'Neill has gone.' I must admit, I always used to have something of a soft spot for Villa - another good club that had massively under-achieved over the years. That was, until a few years ago when I had the misfortune to cross paths with a particularly arrogant and gobby, full-of-his-own-pomposity supporter of the old Villains on an Internet message board. Someone who had plenty to say for himself about other club's lack of success when he, himself, had absolutely not a sausage to be bragging about. Since then, I've always looked at Villa's results with him in particular in mind, hoping for a few very richly deserved spankings every season. But, I like Martin O'Neill a lot too. Where he turns up next is, frankly, anyone's guess.

Tango'd

The Manchester United defender Wes Brown - the world's first entirely orange footballer - has announced his retirement from international duty with England. The thirty-year-old's announcement follows a similar one by Blackburn goalkeeper Paul Robinson earlier on Sunday. This will obviously come as a considerable surprise to most England supporters who believed that both had effectively retired from international football years ago. Wes Brown, the classic definition of modern times of that seventies staple 'the utility man' (i.e. someone who is a bit crap in a number of positions. See also Paul Madeley, Leeds United and England.)

In the weekend's other major football news, the Lack-of-Charity Shield at Wembley produced the first significant result of the new season: The Scum 3, Moscow Chelski FC 1.

And, finally, Fabio Capello has apologised for England's dismal World Cup and insisted he will fight to turn things around. The Italian coach avoided the sack as England boss after the tournament and begins the build-up to Euro 2012 with a friendly against Hungary on Wednesday. 'I say sorry to the fans that joined us in South Africa,' he said. Capello also said he would remind Wayne Rooney of his responsibilities after reports of poor behaviour by the player outside a nightclub last week. The England boss said he understood fans had 'spent a lot of time and money following England' in South Africa. 'I'm really sorry,' insisted Capello. 'But we have to look forward now for the European qualification matches.' Now, if only one or two of his players could manage the same level of 'at least trying to look like they mean it' ...

Robson Remembered

A ceremony to mark the first anniversary of the death of Sir Bobby Robson has taken place in Newcastle. The legend was remembered before two of his former clubs PSV Eindhoven and Newcastle United played in a pre-season friendly at St James's Park on Saturday. Stan Valckx, captain of PSV during Sir Bobby's time at the club in the early 1990s, presented the current United manager, Chris Hughton, with Valckx's shirt. Sir Bobby, died aged seventy six on 31 July 2009. A one-minute applause was observed by the sixteen thousand plus crowd after the presentation of the shirt, which happened prior to kick-off. Robson, who grew up at Langley Park near Durham, was first diagnosed with cancer in 1991. He beat bowel cancer in 1992, a malignant melanoma in 1995 and a tumour in his right lung and a brain tumour, both in 2006. In 2007 he vowed to 'battle as I've always done' following the start of chemotherapy treatment after being diagnosed with cancer for the fifth time. He set up his cancer charity, the Sir Bobby Robson Foundation, in 2008 to raise funds for a trial and research centre at Newcastle's Freeman Hospital. More than two and half million pounds have been raised since it was launched - more than £1m of that was raised or donated since his death. A skillful wing half with West Bromwich Albion, Fulham and England during the 1950s, Sir Bobby managed Ipswich Town to the greatest period in their history between 1969 and 1982. He was England manager from 1982 to 1990, taking the national side to the quarter-finals of the 1986 World Cup in Mexico and reaching the semi-finals four years later despite an often uncomfortable relationship with the more scummy end of the tabloid press, something often forgotten in the wake of his quasi-deification by many of those self-same newspapers since his death. He sent a decade managing some of the best clubs in the Netherlands (PSV), Portugal (Sporting Lisbon, FC Porto) and Spain (Barcelona) before an emotional return to Newcastle, the club he had supported as a boy, in 1999 saving the club from what seemed a certain relegation in his first season and then leading an exciting young United side that he built to three Top Five finishes in the Premier league in the early years of the next decade. The match between United and PSV, perhaps fittingly, ended in a 2-2 draw.