Miserable old sour-faced Scottish windbag Sir Alex Ferguson says that Robin van Persie is 'lucky to be alive' after being hit in the head by a ball struck by Ashley Williams in The Scum's 1-1 draw with Swansea on Sunday. So, no crass and obscene hyperbole there, then, that's for sure. Van Persie was lying on the ground when Williams kicked the ball from a couple of yards away as the referee blew the whistle for a foul. Ferguson felt that Van Persie was 'fortunate' to escape serious injury. 'Robin van Persie is lucky to be alive. It was a disgraceful act from their player,' Ferguson whinged to BBC Sport. 'He should be banned by the FA. Robin could have had a broken neck.' Yes. 
Or, a large bird of prey could have swooped down and carried him off to its lair to feed its chicks, too. But, it didn't. The Scum manager claimed that Williams, had 'deliberately' aimed the ball at Van Persie, who reacted furiously - both players were cautioned by referee Michael Oliver. Ferguson added on Sky Sports: 'With the Van Persie situation, you can clearly see that he could have been killed. [Williams] should be banned for a long time because that was the most dangerous thing I've seen on a football field for many years. It was absolutely deliberate. The whistle has gone, the game has stopped and he has done that right in front of the referee, he could have killed the lad.' Williams denied that he had hit Van Persie intentionally. 'I've seen it on the TV and that's [Ferguson's] opinion,' said Williams. 'Everyone's going to have their own opinion but, from my point of view, I tried to apologise on the pitch but it all flared up. I just kicked the ball in frustration and obviously not trying to hit him square on the head. I understand exactly why he's angry. I'd be the same if the ball hit me on the head at that pace.' The Scum striker Wayne Rooney tried to play the incident down. 'I think it's one of those things,' he said. 'The whistle's gone, the defender has gone to clear and it's hit him in the head. I think probably the right decision from the referee.' The Scum led the Premier League by six points going into the weekend's fixtures but, after the draw with Swansea and rivals Sheikh Yer Man City's win over Reading, that advantage has been cut to four points.
Big Shola Ameobi scored his third goal of the season as yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle handed Hapless Harry Redknapp his first defeat as Queens Park Strangers manager. It looked like being a frustrating day for the Magpies, who had lost six of their previous seven games, as Demba Ba and Papiss Cisse missed a number of good chances. But substitute Ameobi rifled in a shot with nine minutes remaining for his first league goal in nine months. Rangers, who defended stoutly whilst never looking remotely dangerous on the counter-attack, thought they had done enough as they looked to continue their mini-revival under new manager Redknapp. However, it was Redknapp's opposite number, Alan Pardew, who changed the course of the match, with two of his substitutes having a direct influence in the match-winning strike. Sylvain Marveaux replaced Cheick Tiote with thirteen minutes left, and his extra quality created the opportunity for Ameobi to collect the Frenchman's pass, cut inside and find the back of the net with a classy finish. It justified Pardew's decision to replace Papiss Cisse with Ameobi - a substitution which caused some discontent from the stands, and plenty of frustration from the Senegalese striker his very self.
It capped a miserable day for the number nine, as he and his strike partner, Ba, struggled to break down a resolute Rangers defence expertly marshalled by Ryan Nelsen. The one time the two did link up to good effect midway through an uninspiring first-half ended with Cisse being denied by Fabio's well-timed tackle. Ba also fired two free-kicks into the stands as Newcastle looked short on ideas without influential midfielders Yohan Cabaye and Hatem Ben Arfa, both missing through injury. Newcastle were struggling for inspiration, until Pardew brought on Ameobi and Gabriel Obertan with half an hour to go. The change worked, as the home side became much more of a threat in the final third - Ba turning and having a shot deflected over and then seeing a weak header saved by Rob Green. A goal seemed inevitable, and it was no surprise when Ameobi slotted home. There was still time for the impressive Marveaux to go close with two shots which were well saved by Green, but Newcastle had done enough. The only negative to come out of the game for the hosts was a fifth booking of the season for Tiote, which rules the midfielder out of his side's Boxing Day trip to The Scum. Rangers will take plenty of heart from their workmanlike performance, with defeats for their relegation rivals Reading, Wigan and Southampton meaning very little has changed in the bottom four.
Meanwhile, Strangers boss Hapless Harry Redknapp has criticised the club's transfer policy before he came to the club. Redknapp, who replaced Mark Hughes as manager in November, questioned recent signings after a 1-0 loss at Newcastle. 'There are a lot of players at this club who earn far too much money,' he said. 'Far too much for their ability and what they give to the club. I don't really want to see the owners have their pants taken down like they have in the past.' Hapless Harry says the club's wage bill is too high and certain individuals in his squad are earning more than players at his former team Stottingtot Hotshots. 'A lot of agents made money out of [the club's owners],' Redknapp said. 'I fined a player last week and he was earning more than any player earned at Tottenham. You shouldn't be paying massive wages when you've got a stadium that holds eighteen thousand people. Newcastle holds fifty two thousand and most of their players will be nowhere near some of the wages some of the players are earning here.' Quite how Redknapp knows what Newcastle's players are earning, he didn't reveal. Hapless Harry pointed to the example of Portuguese full-back Jose Bosingwa, who has been fined two weeks wages for refusing to sit on the bench for last weekend's 2-1 victory over Fulham. The thirty-year-old, who was part of the Moscow Chelski FC squad which won the Champions League last season, has started just twelve Premier League matches for the Loftus Road club but his future now appears in doubt.
'He didn't want to be on the bench and didn't want to be a substitute, so he went home,' said Redknapp. 'He has been fined two weeks' wages, one hundred and thirty thousand pounds. Not too bad for two weeks - decent isn't it?' Asked how he might handle a player like that, Redknapp said: 'We'll find out in January.' The transfer window could see plenty of movement at the Strangers, with Redknapp admitting that his squad needs to be strengthened if they are to have a realistic chance of avoiding relegation. Strangers are currently five points from safety, after taking just ten points from their first eighteen league games. However, their form has improved under Redknapp - with three draws and a victory coming in the new manager's first four matches. 'Let's not kid ourselves, it's a hard job we have got on here,' Redknapp added. 'We have got to try to improve a little bit in the transfer window to give ourselves half a chance. We are short of options in one or two positions. If you look at Newcastle, they can go and bring a couple of fresh forwards on to make the difference but we haven't got that option really. We have got Bobby Zamora and Andy Johnson out with long-term injuries and we are desperately short of one or two bodies. Hopefully we can get to the window, get another result or two before then, and let's see what we can do in January.'
Manager Paul Lambert admitted his Aston Villains side were 'not good enough' against a rampant Moscow Chelski FC after they suffered a record 8-0 (EIGHT-NIL) hiding at Torpedo Stamford Bridge. The defeat was the wretched Villain's heaviest ever in the top flight. 'We were beaten up pretty badly from start to finish. The lads know themselves that that was not acceptable,' said Lambert. 'We were second best all over the pitch, I am not going to stand here and make excuses.' Villa came into the game unbeaten in their last six matches, including an impressive 3-1 win over Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws at Anfield last time out.
But they fell behind after one hundred and twenty nine seconds when Fernando Torres headed past goalkeeper Brad Guzan and were soon buried by a ruthless attacking display by the Blues. 'We cannot concede as early as that at places like these, you are on the back foot right away. It is vital that you come here and try and get a foothold in the game,' Lambert added. 'You can't feel sorry for yourselves, you take your medicine in football and you have to go again. We have got two days to mull over it and we have got to go again on Wednesday.' The victory carried Moscow Chelski FC up from seventh to third and interim manager Rafael Benitez, who succeeded Roberto di Matteo at the end of November, believes his side are starting to play the way he wants them to. 'Everything impressed me the performance of the team,' said the Spaniard. 'We have been talking before about the mentality of the team; attacking, creating chances, we had good movement, we were good in defence. As a team we had the balance we are looking for.'
Or, a large bird of prey could have swooped down and carried him off to its lair to feed its chicks, too. But, it didn't. The Scum manager claimed that Williams, had 'deliberately' aimed the ball at Van Persie, who reacted furiously - both players were cautioned by referee Michael Oliver. Ferguson added on Sky Sports: 'With the Van Persie situation, you can clearly see that he could have been killed. [Williams] should be banned for a long time because that was the most dangerous thing I've seen on a football field for many years. It was absolutely deliberate. The whistle has gone, the game has stopped and he has done that right in front of the referee, he could have killed the lad.' Williams denied that he had hit Van Persie intentionally. 'I've seen it on the TV and that's [Ferguson's] opinion,' said Williams. 'Everyone's going to have their own opinion but, from my point of view, I tried to apologise on the pitch but it all flared up. I just kicked the ball in frustration and obviously not trying to hit him square on the head. I understand exactly why he's angry. I'd be the same if the ball hit me on the head at that pace.' The Scum striker Wayne Rooney tried to play the incident down. 'I think it's one of those things,' he said. 'The whistle's gone, the defender has gone to clear and it's hit him in the head. I think probably the right decision from the referee.' The Scum led the Premier League by six points going into the weekend's fixtures but, after the draw with Swansea and rivals Sheikh Yer Man City's win over Reading, that advantage has been cut to four points. Big Shola Ameobi scored his third goal of the season as yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle handed Hapless Harry Redknapp his first defeat as Queens Park Strangers manager. It looked like being a frustrating day for the Magpies, who had lost six of their previous seven games, as Demba Ba and Papiss Cisse missed a number of good chances. But substitute Ameobi rifled in a shot with nine minutes remaining for his first league goal in nine months. Rangers, who defended stoutly whilst never looking remotely dangerous on the counter-attack, thought they had done enough as they looked to continue their mini-revival under new manager Redknapp. However, it was Redknapp's opposite number, Alan Pardew, who changed the course of the match, with two of his substitutes having a direct influence in the match-winning strike. Sylvain Marveaux replaced Cheick Tiote with thirteen minutes left, and his extra quality created the opportunity for Ameobi to collect the Frenchman's pass, cut inside and find the back of the net with a classy finish. It justified Pardew's decision to replace Papiss Cisse with Ameobi - a substitution which caused some discontent from the stands, and plenty of frustration from the Senegalese striker his very self.
It capped a miserable day for the number nine, as he and his strike partner, Ba, struggled to break down a resolute Rangers defence expertly marshalled by Ryan Nelsen. The one time the two did link up to good effect midway through an uninspiring first-half ended with Cisse being denied by Fabio's well-timed tackle. Ba also fired two free-kicks into the stands as Newcastle looked short on ideas without influential midfielders Yohan Cabaye and Hatem Ben Arfa, both missing through injury. Newcastle were struggling for inspiration, until Pardew brought on Ameobi and Gabriel Obertan with half an hour to go. The change worked, as the home side became much more of a threat in the final third - Ba turning and having a shot deflected over and then seeing a weak header saved by Rob Green. A goal seemed inevitable, and it was no surprise when Ameobi slotted home. There was still time for the impressive Marveaux to go close with two shots which were well saved by Green, but Newcastle had done enough. The only negative to come out of the game for the hosts was a fifth booking of the season for Tiote, which rules the midfielder out of his side's Boxing Day trip to The Scum. Rangers will take plenty of heart from their workmanlike performance, with defeats for their relegation rivals Reading, Wigan and Southampton meaning very little has changed in the bottom four.Meanwhile, Strangers boss Hapless Harry Redknapp has criticised the club's transfer policy before he came to the club. Redknapp, who replaced Mark Hughes as manager in November, questioned recent signings after a 1-0 loss at Newcastle. 'There are a lot of players at this club who earn far too much money,' he said. 'Far too much for their ability and what they give to the club. I don't really want to see the owners have their pants taken down like they have in the past.' Hapless Harry says the club's wage bill is too high and certain individuals in his squad are earning more than players at his former team Stottingtot Hotshots. 'A lot of agents made money out of [the club's owners],' Redknapp said. 'I fined a player last week and he was earning more than any player earned at Tottenham. You shouldn't be paying massive wages when you've got a stadium that holds eighteen thousand people. Newcastle holds fifty two thousand and most of their players will be nowhere near some of the wages some of the players are earning here.' Quite how Redknapp knows what Newcastle's players are earning, he didn't reveal. Hapless Harry pointed to the example of Portuguese full-back Jose Bosingwa, who has been fined two weeks wages for refusing to sit on the bench for last weekend's 2-1 victory over Fulham. The thirty-year-old, who was part of the Moscow Chelski FC squad which won the Champions League last season, has started just twelve Premier League matches for the Loftus Road club but his future now appears in doubt.
'He didn't want to be on the bench and didn't want to be a substitute, so he went home,' said Redknapp. 'He has been fined two weeks' wages, one hundred and thirty thousand pounds. Not too bad for two weeks - decent isn't it?' Asked how he might handle a player like that, Redknapp said: 'We'll find out in January.' The transfer window could see plenty of movement at the Strangers, with Redknapp admitting that his squad needs to be strengthened if they are to have a realistic chance of avoiding relegation. Strangers are currently five points from safety, after taking just ten points from their first eighteen league games. However, their form has improved under Redknapp - with three draws and a victory coming in the new manager's first four matches. 'Let's not kid ourselves, it's a hard job we have got on here,' Redknapp added. 'We have got to try to improve a little bit in the transfer window to give ourselves half a chance. We are short of options in one or two positions. If you look at Newcastle, they can go and bring a couple of fresh forwards on to make the difference but we haven't got that option really. We have got Bobby Zamora and Andy Johnson out with long-term injuries and we are desperately short of one or two bodies. Hopefully we can get to the window, get another result or two before then, and let's see what we can do in January.'Manager Paul Lambert admitted his Aston Villains side were 'not good enough' against a rampant Moscow Chelski FC after they suffered a record 8-0 (EIGHT-NIL) hiding at Torpedo Stamford Bridge. The defeat was the wretched Villain's heaviest ever in the top flight. 'We were beaten up pretty badly from start to finish. The lads know themselves that that was not acceptable,' said Lambert. 'We were second best all over the pitch, I am not going to stand here and make excuses.' Villa came into the game unbeaten in their last six matches, including an impressive 3-1 win over Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws at Anfield last time out.
But they fell behind after one hundred and twenty nine seconds when Fernando Torres headed past goalkeeper Brad Guzan and were soon buried by a ruthless attacking display by the Blues. 'We cannot concede as early as that at places like these, you are on the back foot right away. It is vital that you come here and try and get a foothold in the game,' Lambert added. 'You can't feel sorry for yourselves, you take your medicine in football and you have to go again. We have got two days to mull over it and we have got to go again on Wednesday.' The victory carried Moscow Chelski FC up from seventh to third and interim manager Rafael Benitez, who succeeded Roberto di Matteo at the end of November, believes his side are starting to play the way he wants them to. 'Everything impressed me the performance of the team,' said the Spaniard. 'We have been talking before about the mentality of the team; attacking, creating chances, we had good movement, we were good in defence. As a team we had the balance we are looking for.'
