BSkyB has muscled out challenger BT to secure key matches at the start of the Premier League season, including The Scum's clashes with other top teams, José Mourinho's first fixture back at Moscow Chelski FC and Manuel Pellegrini's first game in charge of Sheikh Yer Man City. The first round of televised Premier League fixtures published on Thursday reveal that Sky Sports has focused its efforts on stopping BT from covering The Scum's top matches, which traditionally attract the biggest football audiences, including the Manchester derby. BT's top matches in the opening weeks of the 2013-14 season are the London derby clash between Stottingtot Hotshots and Moscow Chelski FC and Everton versus Liverpool Alamaba Yee-Haws in the Merseyside derby. However, while Sky has plucked the pick of the top Premier League games until December, BT could have a strong end to the season, as it has only exercised five of its eighteen first picks, leaving with it with thirteen first picks at the business end of the season. Sky has exercised eight of its twenty picks, leaving it with twelve. But the contrast in the early games is marked, with BT's first game of the season Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws versus Stoke, while Sky is airing David Moyes' much-anticipated first game in charge of The Scum in a free-to-air live broadcast, in an effort to get one-over on BT, which has spent seven hundred and thirty eight million notes over three years securing the rights to thirty eight live matches a season. 
Sky paid £2.3bn for one hundred and sixteen matches per season. Sky is also showing every fixture between last season's top four clubs and will have shown a live match featuring every Premier League team at least once by 6 October. But BT does have some prize games in the first half of the season, including Spurs Versus The Scum. The Sky Sports managing director, Barney Francis, said: 'This is our biggest ever season of Premier League football. When you look at the opening fixtures in black and white, you can see that no other broadcaster comes close to the quality that we offer. Sky Sports will show every match between last season's top four as well as every club at least twice by December. We'll have more than three times as many matches as BT, and our schedule is even stronger than it was last season. With the best team of analysts, a fantastic new weekend schedule and coverage from the Football League, UEFA Champions League, La Liga and the SPL, this is the best ever football season for Sky Sports viewers.' The director of BT Sport, Simon Green, said: 'We are thrilled that BT Sport viewers will be able to enjoy these top-of-the-table matches free with BT broadband. This is the first time in Premier League history that top-pick matches have been shown anywhere other than on Sky, but Sky TV customers can easily add BT Sport by calling us and if they have BT broadband they can get it for free.' Sky's opening weekend of games will feature the return of Jose Mourinho as Moscow Chelski FC manager at home to recently promoted Hull City and Shiekh Yer Man City's new boss Manuel Pellegrini's first game in charge at home to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though tragically unsellable) Newcastle United. Stottingtot Hotshot's trip to Crystal Palace at 1.30pm on Sunday 18 August will also be shown. Outside of the Premier League, the Championship Yorkshire derby between Dirty Leeds and Sheffield Wednesday will also be free for all Sky subscribers on 17 August at 1.30pm.
Alan Pardew insists he is still in charge of team affairs at yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though, tragically, unsellable) Newcastle United following that arsehole Joe Kinnear's appointment as Director of Football. Or, if what Pardew says is true, effectively, Director of Eff-All. The Magpies owner, flabby billionaire tyrant Mike Ashley, brought former boss Kinnear back to Tyneside to 'oversee recruitment', with Pardew formally reporting to the foul-mouthed sixty six-year-old fantasist. However, Pardew claims that he is 'confident' he will maintain control of first-team affairs. 'I'm my own man and I will manage this football club to the best of my ability,' he told BBC Newcastle's Mick Lowes. Kinnear's arrival at Newcastle was shrouded in controversy when, like the biggest plank in the whole world, Kinnear announced the news himself through interviews with television stations and on radio before the club had confirmed the news, days later. Kinnear claimed after his appointment that his job as Director of Eff-All did 'not put pressure' on Pardew, amid questions about how this alteration in the club's management structure would impact on the manager's future. Kinnear, spectacularly, made a number of factually incorrect statements in his various media outbursts, such as claiming to have signed goalkeeper Tim Krul and defender James Perch for United when, in actual fact, he had nothing to do with the recruitment of either and wildly exaggerating his achievements in the game. He also mispronounced the names of several Newcastle players. At one point there appeared the genuine possibility that he was about to announce that he was up for the part of The Doctor after Matt Smith goes. 'Some of the things Joe said, he's apologised for, especially getting the names wrong of our players. That needs to be corrected, because there's a certain respect needed there,' Pardew noted. 'I spoke to one or two players and my staff here and made them very aware of where the position lies. If Joe can persuade Mike to invest in the football club in the right manner, then that would be the best outcome for us. As well as we've done on the transfer market, there's always room for improvement and I spoke to Joe and told him where I think the weaknesses in the squad are. I told him I need to strengthen them and I've got a couple of ideas.' The appointment of Kinnear also led to confusion regarding the position of the club's acclaimed chief scout Graham Carr, but he along with Pardew and Kinnear will continue to source signings - at least, for the time being. What has changed at the club is the departure of managing director Derek Llambias, with facets of his former post shared between finance director John Irving and secretary Lee Charnley. 'You could say Joe is fulfilling the role that Derek had to a degree, but Lee will fill the other part of that role, he's got great experience,' Pardew added. 'Between myself, Lee and Joe we hope to get some transfers over the line, and some out by the way, because the squad is probably a little thick in some areas. Graham comes up with one or two suggestions, I come up with the same, we probably have a list of four that myself and Graham think will take the team forward, we present that to Joe, and he presents it to the owner.
Joe has to dress that up for the chairman in terms of the finance, in terms of how it will work and then Lee comes in and hopefully we get the player over the line. Mike feels Joe probably knows the scene better than Derek. That might be Mike's opinion, but as far as I'm concerned the most important factor for Joe is transfers.' So, there you go, as clear as mud. After arriving at St James' Park in December 2010, Pardew led Newcastle United to twelfth place in the Premier League, a highly creditable finish, but his first full season in charge surpassed all expectations. Fuelled by the signings of Yohan Cabaye, Demba Ba and Papiss Cisse, the Magpies only just missed out on a Champions League place, finishing fifth. However, a lack of signings in the build-up to last season, added to the extra demands of European football in the Europa League, took its toll on Newcastle's Premier League form in 2012-13, and although January signings such as Moussa Sissoko, Mathieu Debuchy and Yoan Gouffran helped to stabilise their form, a sixteenth place finish was a severe disappointment following the apparent progress of the previous year. 'I've been involved with clubs where if you take the title away, it's a similar role,' Pardew noted about working with a Director of Eff-All. 'I had Les Reed at Southampton; I had the Chairman at Southampton who was quite influential - probably more influential than Joe has any intention of being - so I have got experience of it. When I was at West Ham I had Trevor Brooking to lean on so I've had good experiences and bad experiences of it. I'm very open minded to Joe's position and I'll take it as I see it, but one thing that you need to know and people who work with me will know - I'm my own man, I'll manage this football club, manage this team to the best of my ability. I think that on the back of last year, I'm even more motivated to do well this year.' He added: 'I was disappointed on the sidelines last year with the performances, nothing more. The fans never upset me once if I'm honest. A couple of the media I thought were a little bit personal, as managers you have to wear that and take that on the chin and I'm long enough in the tooth to be able to do that. On the whole, I thought the fans were pretty tolerant if I'm honest and as you say, I lost a few fans along the way. I've gotta win 'em back. So I intend to do that and that's really how my mind works. I look at the squad and I think we've got a good squad. We don't have the inexperience that we had last year of Europe. I know people talk about excuses of Europe, injuries or whatever, same old same old, but was it was an impact - you can't get away from it. Swansea are gonna find out this year when they play Thursday to Sunday - we ain't got that. I'm looking forward to giving these players a week's work and then a game, week's work and then a game. If you look at my record with that it's very good in the Premier League when I've had that period. The two cups last year were deeply disappointing, they fell at very difficult times for us particularly the FA Cup. I've got to be honest, it really upset me that team because I know sometimes fans think a manager's not as emotional as them, trust me that's not the case. I'm almost an adopted Geordie, trust me and on my travels I've seen many fans this summer and they've all relayed to me that they really want us to do better than last year and I do as well. My message to them really and truly is that I've got a seven year contract left to manage this football club and I'm gonna manage it to the best of my ability and I hope that what we wish for is what I can deliver.'
Four clubs involved in two play-off matches that ended 79-0 and 67-0 respectively have been suspended in Nigeria. Plateau United Feeders were 79-0 victors over Akurba FC while Police Machine FC demolished Bubayaro FC 67-0. 'It is unacceptable - a scandal of huge proportions,' said Muke Umeh, chairman of the Nigerian Football Federation Organising Committee. 'The teams are suspended indefinitely, pending further sanctions.' Plateau United Feeders and Police Machine went into the matches level on points, with promotion to the lowest tier of the Nationwide League Division at stake. Feeders scored seventy two of their goals in the second half, while Police Machine reportedly scored sixty one times after the break in their game. The results meant that Plateau edged above Police Machine on goal difference. Umeh added: 'We will investigate this matter thoroughly and get to the bottom of it.' The NFF's director of competitions, Doctor Mohammed Sanusi, gave assurances that the Organising Committee would hand out 'severe sanctions' on 'all persons and institutions' indicted by the investigation. 'The teams involved, their players and officials, match officials, coordinator and anyone found to have played some role in this despicable matter would be severely dealt with,' Sanusi said.
Sky paid £2.3bn for one hundred and sixteen matches per season. Sky is also showing every fixture between last season's top four clubs and will have shown a live match featuring every Premier League team at least once by 6 October. But BT does have some prize games in the first half of the season, including Spurs Versus The Scum. The Sky Sports managing director, Barney Francis, said: 'This is our biggest ever season of Premier League football. When you look at the opening fixtures in black and white, you can see that no other broadcaster comes close to the quality that we offer. Sky Sports will show every match between last season's top four as well as every club at least twice by December. We'll have more than three times as many matches as BT, and our schedule is even stronger than it was last season. With the best team of analysts, a fantastic new weekend schedule and coverage from the Football League, UEFA Champions League, La Liga and the SPL, this is the best ever football season for Sky Sports viewers.' The director of BT Sport, Simon Green, said: 'We are thrilled that BT Sport viewers will be able to enjoy these top-of-the-table matches free with BT broadband. This is the first time in Premier League history that top-pick matches have been shown anywhere other than on Sky, but Sky TV customers can easily add BT Sport by calling us and if they have BT broadband they can get it for free.' Sky's opening weekend of games will feature the return of Jose Mourinho as Moscow Chelski FC manager at home to recently promoted Hull City and Shiekh Yer Man City's new boss Manuel Pellegrini's first game in charge at home to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though tragically unsellable) Newcastle United. Stottingtot Hotshot's trip to Crystal Palace at 1.30pm on Sunday 18 August will also be shown. Outside of the Premier League, the Championship Yorkshire derby between Dirty Leeds and Sheffield Wednesday will also be free for all Sky subscribers on 17 August at 1.30pm.Alan Pardew insists he is still in charge of team affairs at yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though, tragically, unsellable) Newcastle United following that arsehole Joe Kinnear's appointment as Director of Football. Or, if what Pardew says is true, effectively, Director of Eff-All. The Magpies owner, flabby billionaire tyrant Mike Ashley, brought former boss Kinnear back to Tyneside to 'oversee recruitment', with Pardew formally reporting to the foul-mouthed sixty six-year-old fantasist. However, Pardew claims that he is 'confident' he will maintain control of first-team affairs. 'I'm my own man and I will manage this football club to the best of my ability,' he told BBC Newcastle's Mick Lowes. Kinnear's arrival at Newcastle was shrouded in controversy when, like the biggest plank in the whole world, Kinnear announced the news himself through interviews with television stations and on radio before the club had confirmed the news, days later. Kinnear claimed after his appointment that his job as Director of Eff-All did 'not put pressure' on Pardew, amid questions about how this alteration in the club's management structure would impact on the manager's future. Kinnear, spectacularly, made a number of factually incorrect statements in his various media outbursts, such as claiming to have signed goalkeeper Tim Krul and defender James Perch for United when, in actual fact, he had nothing to do with the recruitment of either and wildly exaggerating his achievements in the game. He also mispronounced the names of several Newcastle players. At one point there appeared the genuine possibility that he was about to announce that he was up for the part of The Doctor after Matt Smith goes. 'Some of the things Joe said, he's apologised for, especially getting the names wrong of our players. That needs to be corrected, because there's a certain respect needed there,' Pardew noted. 'I spoke to one or two players and my staff here and made them very aware of where the position lies. If Joe can persuade Mike to invest in the football club in the right manner, then that would be the best outcome for us. As well as we've done on the transfer market, there's always room for improvement and I spoke to Joe and told him where I think the weaknesses in the squad are. I told him I need to strengthen them and I've got a couple of ideas.' The appointment of Kinnear also led to confusion regarding the position of the club's acclaimed chief scout Graham Carr, but he along with Pardew and Kinnear will continue to source signings - at least, for the time being. What has changed at the club is the departure of managing director Derek Llambias, with facets of his former post shared between finance director John Irving and secretary Lee Charnley. 'You could say Joe is fulfilling the role that Derek had to a degree, but Lee will fill the other part of that role, he's got great experience,' Pardew added. 'Between myself, Lee and Joe we hope to get some transfers over the line, and some out by the way, because the squad is probably a little thick in some areas. Graham comes up with one or two suggestions, I come up with the same, we probably have a list of four that myself and Graham think will take the team forward, we present that to Joe, and he presents it to the owner.
Joe has to dress that up for the chairman in terms of the finance, in terms of how it will work and then Lee comes in and hopefully we get the player over the line. Mike feels Joe probably knows the scene better than Derek. That might be Mike's opinion, but as far as I'm concerned the most important factor for Joe is transfers.' So, there you go, as clear as mud. After arriving at St James' Park in December 2010, Pardew led Newcastle United to twelfth place in the Premier League, a highly creditable finish, but his first full season in charge surpassed all expectations. Fuelled by the signings of Yohan Cabaye, Demba Ba and Papiss Cisse, the Magpies only just missed out on a Champions League place, finishing fifth. However, a lack of signings in the build-up to last season, added to the extra demands of European football in the Europa League, took its toll on Newcastle's Premier League form in 2012-13, and although January signings such as Moussa Sissoko, Mathieu Debuchy and Yoan Gouffran helped to stabilise their form, a sixteenth place finish was a severe disappointment following the apparent progress of the previous year. 'I've been involved with clubs where if you take the title away, it's a similar role,' Pardew noted about working with a Director of Eff-All. 'I had Les Reed at Southampton; I had the Chairman at Southampton who was quite influential - probably more influential than Joe has any intention of being - so I have got experience of it. When I was at West Ham I had Trevor Brooking to lean on so I've had good experiences and bad experiences of it. I'm very open minded to Joe's position and I'll take it as I see it, but one thing that you need to know and people who work with me will know - I'm my own man, I'll manage this football club, manage this team to the best of my ability. I think that on the back of last year, I'm even more motivated to do well this year.' He added: 'I was disappointed on the sidelines last year with the performances, nothing more. The fans never upset me once if I'm honest. A couple of the media I thought were a little bit personal, as managers you have to wear that and take that on the chin and I'm long enough in the tooth to be able to do that. On the whole, I thought the fans were pretty tolerant if I'm honest and as you say, I lost a few fans along the way. I've gotta win 'em back. So I intend to do that and that's really how my mind works. I look at the squad and I think we've got a good squad. We don't have the inexperience that we had last year of Europe. I know people talk about excuses of Europe, injuries or whatever, same old same old, but was it was an impact - you can't get away from it. Swansea are gonna find out this year when they play Thursday to Sunday - we ain't got that. I'm looking forward to giving these players a week's work and then a game, week's work and then a game. If you look at my record with that it's very good in the Premier League when I've had that period. The two cups last year were deeply disappointing, they fell at very difficult times for us particularly the FA Cup. I've got to be honest, it really upset me that team because I know sometimes fans think a manager's not as emotional as them, trust me that's not the case. I'm almost an adopted Geordie, trust me and on my travels I've seen many fans this summer and they've all relayed to me that they really want us to do better than last year and I do as well. My message to them really and truly is that I've got a seven year contract left to manage this football club and I'm gonna manage it to the best of my ability and I hope that what we wish for is what I can deliver.' Four clubs involved in two play-off matches that ended 79-0 and 67-0 respectively have been suspended in Nigeria. Plateau United Feeders were 79-0 victors over Akurba FC while Police Machine FC demolished Bubayaro FC 67-0. 'It is unacceptable - a scandal of huge proportions,' said Muke Umeh, chairman of the Nigerian Football Federation Organising Committee. 'The teams are suspended indefinitely, pending further sanctions.' Plateau United Feeders and Police Machine went into the matches level on points, with promotion to the lowest tier of the Nationwide League Division at stake. Feeders scored seventy two of their goals in the second half, while Police Machine reportedly scored sixty one times after the break in their game. The results meant that Plateau edged above Police Machine on goal difference. Umeh added: 'We will investigate this matter thoroughly and get to the bottom of it.' The NFF's director of competitions, Doctor Mohammed Sanusi, gave assurances that the Organising Committee would hand out 'severe sanctions' on 'all persons and institutions' indicted by the investigation. 'The teams involved, their players and officials, match officials, coordinator and anyone found to have played some role in this despicable matter would be severely dealt with,' Sanusi said.
