England will play four-time winners Italy, as well as Uruguay and Costa Rica, in Group D at the 2014 World Cup. Tough group, though it could have been worse. Not much, admittedly. Rockin' Roy Hodgson's men open their campaign against The Eyeties in the Amazonian city of Manaus on 15 June in what was initially announced as the only World Cup game which would be kick-off off at 9pm (2am UK time), though that was later amended to 6pm (11pm UK time). England take on Uruguay on 19 June and play Costa Rica five days later. Hosts Brazil are in Group A with Cameroon, Mexico and Croatia while holders Spain open with a repeat of the 2010 final against Netherlands before taking on the much fancied Chile and Australia. England will have to travel over seventeen hundred miles from their chosen base in Rio for their first match in the tropical heat of Manaus, which in the heart of the Amazon jungle. Earlier this week, Hodgson described Manaus as 'the place to avoid' because of the climate - temperatures reach thirty degrees and humidity is about eighty per cent - although after the draw the England boss took comfort from the fact his team would be facing a fellow European side. 'The conditions in the North will be tough, so we will both be in same boat,' he said. 'If we'd had three games up in the North, it would have been difficult.' Following Hodgson's initial comments, the mayor of Manaus, Arthur Virgilio, said England would not be welcome in the city. 
And, this is different for most venues we play how, exactly? England take on two-time champions Uruguay, who will have Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haw's Luis Suarez in their squad, in Sao Paulo and they play Costa Rica in Belo Horizonte - both venues are within two hundred odd miles of their base. England have never previously beaten either Italy or Uruguay at a major tournament, while they have never faced Costa Rica. Scotland have. They lost. Uruguay, who reached the semi-finals in 2010 and Italy, who knocked Hodgson's men out of Euro 2012, are ranked sixth and seventh respectively in the FIFA rankings while Costa Rica are thirty first in the world - eighteen places below England. 'With Uruguay and Italy, we almost have two number one seeds in our group,' Hodgson added, glumly. 'We know how good Italy are because we lost to them in the quarter-finals at the Euros. It does not surprise me at all to get a tough draw. But I am still very positive about the whole affair, as you never know.' Germany face Portugal in Group G, which also contains Ghana and the USA, who are managed by German legend Jurgen Klinsmann. Columbia, Japan, Greece and the Côte d'Ivoire make up Group C, whilst Group E consists of Switzerland, Ecuador, France and Honduras. Argentina have been placed in Group F with débutants Bosnia-Hercegovina, Iran and Nigeria - meaning Newcastle team-mates Fabricio Coloccini and Shola Ameobi may well be up against each other when the Argies take on The Super Eagles. Russia, who are managed by ex-England manager Fabio Capello, will play Belgium, Algeria and South Korea in their group. England, who were drawn in Group D by their World Cup-winning striker Geoff Hurst - thanks for that, Geoff - have not played Italy in the World Cup finals since losing a third-place play-off against the Azzurri in 1990. They last met Uruguay in the competition during the 1966 tournament, drawing 0-0 against She south Americans before going on to win their first and only World Cup.
The filthy Scum of humanity suffered consecutive home league defeats for the first time since 2002 (and, only the third time in Premier League history), as yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle earned their first league win at Old Trafford since 1972. On that occasion, a week after they'd been humiliatingly dump out of the FA Cup by Hereford with the whole country watching on Match Of The Day, goals by Hallelujah John Tudor and Stewie, Stewie, Stewie, Stewie Barrowclough helped The Toon beat yer actual Charlton, Best, Law and the rest of them. This time, it was Yohan Cabaye who swept home the only goal for the Magpies - his third of the season - moments after Patrice Evra had headed against the post for the champions. David Moyes' calamitous start as The Scum's manager turned into a full-blown crisis as Cabaye ended Newcastle's forty one-year wait for an Old Trafford win. It meant The Scum have lost five times already this season and have collected just two points from their last four games. And we're supposed to, what, feel sorry for them? Sod that. Especially after we were treated to the sign of cheating little shit Javier Hernandez throwing himself to the ground in baltant attempt to gain a penalty when not even touched by Fabricio Coloccini. Cheaters never proser. It was, perhaps, little wonder that the reaction at the end was one of anger from the - notoriously fickle and uppity - home supporters, who watched virtually the same group of players they booed off today (those them that had bothered to stay to the final whistle, that is) clinch a twentieth title by eleven points less than seven months ago. When Evra's clearing header bounced back off Moussa Sissoko, allowing the Newcastle man a free run into the area, before cutting back a perfect cross to invite Cabaye's first-time finish on the hour, the discontent rippled round all the stadium but for a small corner where, predictably, the travelling Toon Army went effing bonkers off-it.
Amid their glee, the Magpies fans delivered two of the cruellest jibes imaginable. They suggested that Moyes would be 'sacked in the morning' and that The Scum would be accompanying Sunderland into the Championship at the end of the season (in several delirious choruses of 'you're going down with The Mackems'). Filthy cheat Hernandez and Adnan Januzaj had efforts saved by Tim Krul, before Robin van Persie's header was, rightly, adjudged offside. After the midweek defeat by Everton, David Moyes's side now sit twelve points adrift of Premier League leaders The Arse. Newcastle, meanwhile, bounced back from their own midweek defeat at Swansea, and showed the sort of form which had, previously, seen them win four games on the trot jumping up to sixth place in the league. (They dropped back to seventh after Stottingtot Hotshots beat Relegation-Haunted lunderland at the Stadium of Shite in the day's late kick-off.) Geet cush, so it was. Of course, as bloody usual in the football world, hardly anybody mentioned how well Newcastle had played or gave them any credit whtsoever, concentrating instead of 'what's going wrong for The Scum?' 'Circumstances were against them' it was claimed, with Rooney sidelined, Carrick injured and all of their other midfielders congenitally useless. Sky Sports' resident arse-lick Jamie Redknapp - almost as big a diarrhoea-spouting waste-of-space as his Old Man - was asked if he had 'seen this result coming' and he claimed that he had. He then spent the next five minutes talking about the game and didn't mention Newcastle once, whilst slavvering on and on about how badly The Scum had played. It was, undeniably, a seriously dispiriting performance from The Scum. And, an excellent laugh for everybody else. Aside from fifteen minutes or so early in the second half, they simply failed to test Newcastle, who were solid at the back - with Mike Williamson and Coloccini is particularly outstanding form - solid in the middle (where Cheick Tioté was man of the match) and consistently dangerous on the break.
And, this is different for most venues we play how, exactly? England take on two-time champions Uruguay, who will have Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haw's Luis Suarez in their squad, in Sao Paulo and they play Costa Rica in Belo Horizonte - both venues are within two hundred odd miles of their base. England have never previously beaten either Italy or Uruguay at a major tournament, while they have never faced Costa Rica. Scotland have. They lost. Uruguay, who reached the semi-finals in 2010 and Italy, who knocked Hodgson's men out of Euro 2012, are ranked sixth and seventh respectively in the FIFA rankings while Costa Rica are thirty first in the world - eighteen places below England. 'With Uruguay and Italy, we almost have two number one seeds in our group,' Hodgson added, glumly. 'We know how good Italy are because we lost to them in the quarter-finals at the Euros. It does not surprise me at all to get a tough draw. But I am still very positive about the whole affair, as you never know.' Germany face Portugal in Group G, which also contains Ghana and the USA, who are managed by German legend Jurgen Klinsmann. Columbia, Japan, Greece and the Côte d'Ivoire make up Group C, whilst Group E consists of Switzerland, Ecuador, France and Honduras. Argentina have been placed in Group F with débutants Bosnia-Hercegovina, Iran and Nigeria - meaning Newcastle team-mates Fabricio Coloccini and Shola Ameobi may well be up against each other when the Argies take on The Super Eagles. Russia, who are managed by ex-England manager Fabio Capello, will play Belgium, Algeria and South Korea in their group. England, who were drawn in Group D by their World Cup-winning striker Geoff Hurst - thanks for that, Geoff - have not played Italy in the World Cup finals since losing a third-place play-off against the Azzurri in 1990. They last met Uruguay in the competition during the 1966 tournament, drawing 0-0 against She south Americans before going on to win their first and only World Cup. The filthy Scum of humanity suffered consecutive home league defeats for the first time since 2002 (and, only the third time in Premier League history), as yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle earned their first league win at Old Trafford since 1972. On that occasion, a week after they'd been humiliatingly dump out of the FA Cup by Hereford with the whole country watching on Match Of The Day, goals by Hallelujah John Tudor and Stewie, Stewie, Stewie, Stewie Barrowclough helped The Toon beat yer actual Charlton, Best, Law and the rest of them. This time, it was Yohan Cabaye who swept home the only goal for the Magpies - his third of the season - moments after Patrice Evra had headed against the post for the champions. David Moyes' calamitous start as The Scum's manager turned into a full-blown crisis as Cabaye ended Newcastle's forty one-year wait for an Old Trafford win. It meant The Scum have lost five times already this season and have collected just two points from their last four games. And we're supposed to, what, feel sorry for them? Sod that. Especially after we were treated to the sign of cheating little shit Javier Hernandez throwing himself to the ground in baltant attempt to gain a penalty when not even touched by Fabricio Coloccini. Cheaters never proser. It was, perhaps, little wonder that the reaction at the end was one of anger from the - notoriously fickle and uppity - home supporters, who watched virtually the same group of players they booed off today (those them that had bothered to stay to the final whistle, that is) clinch a twentieth title by eleven points less than seven months ago. When Evra's clearing header bounced back off Moussa Sissoko, allowing the Newcastle man a free run into the area, before cutting back a perfect cross to invite Cabaye's first-time finish on the hour, the discontent rippled round all the stadium but for a small corner where, predictably, the travelling Toon Army went effing bonkers off-it.
Amid their glee, the Magpies fans delivered two of the cruellest jibes imaginable. They suggested that Moyes would be 'sacked in the morning' and that The Scum would be accompanying Sunderland into the Championship at the end of the season (in several delirious choruses of 'you're going down with The Mackems'). Filthy cheat Hernandez and Adnan Januzaj had efforts saved by Tim Krul, before Robin van Persie's header was, rightly, adjudged offside. After the midweek defeat by Everton, David Moyes's side now sit twelve points adrift of Premier League leaders The Arse. Newcastle, meanwhile, bounced back from their own midweek defeat at Swansea, and showed the sort of form which had, previously, seen them win four games on the trot jumping up to sixth place in the league. (They dropped back to seventh after Stottingtot Hotshots beat Relegation-Haunted lunderland at the Stadium of Shite in the day's late kick-off.) Geet cush, so it was. Of course, as bloody usual in the football world, hardly anybody mentioned how well Newcastle had played or gave them any credit whtsoever, concentrating instead of 'what's going wrong for The Scum?' 'Circumstances were against them' it was claimed, with Rooney sidelined, Carrick injured and all of their other midfielders congenitally useless. Sky Sports' resident arse-lick Jamie Redknapp - almost as big a diarrhoea-spouting waste-of-space as his Old Man - was asked if he had 'seen this result coming' and he claimed that he had. He then spent the next five minutes talking about the game and didn't mention Newcastle once, whilst slavvering on and on about how badly The Scum had played. It was, undeniably, a seriously dispiriting performance from The Scum. And, an excellent laugh for everybody else. Aside from fifteen minutes or so early in the second half, they simply failed to test Newcastle, who were solid at the back - with Mike Williamson and Coloccini is particularly outstanding form - solid in the middle (where Cheick Tioté was man of the match) and consistently dangerous on the break.
