A Premier League footballer has been 'caught up' in a one hundred thousand smackers blackmail attempt following an alleged one-night stand, it has been reported. The married defender, said to be 'a household name', is claimed to have spent a 'no holds barred' night of red hot rampant passion with the sweating and the thrusting and the 'yes, yes, Big Boy, harder' and that, with a woman before sending her a number of explicit photographs and videos of himself and his massive maleness. As ou do. Well, as you do if you're a hideously overpaid, numskull moron, that is. But, it has emerged that the alleged woman, allegedly in her thirties and allegedly single, then showed the allegedly intimate images of the player's naughty bits to the player's club allegedly after learning that he was married - and allegedly demanded loads of disgusting wonga in alleged return for her alleged silence. Allegedly. According to the Sun on Sunday (they're not alleged, they definitely exist), the pair allegedly met at a party close to the player's home last year and, allegedly, had sex - lots and lots of sex - some hours later. Blimey, he wasn't hanging about, was he? One wonders if he moves that fast when he's playing for his club. 
The newspaper quotes an alleged - anonymous, and therefore almost certainly fictitious - 'source' as allegedly saying: 'It was no holds barred. It may have been a brief encounter but it left them both exhausted. This was pure animal passion. His wife would be horrified if she ever found out the full details.' Yes, that sounds like exactly the sort of thing an alleged 'source' would allegedly tell a notorious tabloid newspaper. The alleged woman allegedly travelled to the footballer's club 'along with her family' after learning that he was married and showed officials the explicit material she had been sent. Their reaction is not reported. Although 'crikey, that's a big one. He keeps that hidden in the showers' would not have been surprising. After allegedly demanding an alleged hundred grand to 'keep quiet' - which, as far as this blogger knows is, actually, a crime - she was 'referred to the legal department at the club.' Officials have allegedly refused to pay out any cash. Whether they have also snitched her up to The Law for her alleged attempted blackmail is, also, unknown at this time. The Sun on Sunday claims that, 'for legal reasons', it cannot reveal the alleged identity of the player, the woman or the club involved. Curiously, it does not reveal where it got the story from in the first place although, there would appear to be only three potential sources and two of those would appear to have little reasons to go running to a tabloid with such a tale. It reports that the player is 'distraught' after learning the woman had contacted his club - and we're supposed to, what, feel sorry for him? - while his wife is said to be 'completely unaware' of the one-night stand.
FIFA says that it will not pay compensation to clubs and leagues unhappy about plans to play the 2022 Qatar World Cup in November and December. It also said that no apology was necessary for the idiotic scheduling of the tournament, which will disrupt a number of European leagues. A FIFA taskforce has recommended the 2022 World Cup take place in winter to avoid Qatar's hot summer temperatures. This, despite the fact that Qatar had been awarded the 2022 World Cup following a bid to hold the tournament in the summer.
'There will be no compensation,' sneered FIFA secretary general Jerome Valcke. 'There are seven years to reorganise.' FIFA's executive committee will meet in Zurich next month to ratify the taskforce's recommendation. Valcke also suggested that a 2022 World Cup final on 23 December was 'looking increasingly likely.' Premier League chief executive Richard Scudamore claims a final that close to Christmas will 'cause havoc' with the traditional festive club programme, while FIFA vice-president Jim Boyce wants it played a week earlier. But Valcke says that European governing body UEFA and other confederations are keen on Friday 23 December, although 18 December is 'also a possibility.' Valcke also confirmed that the 2022 World Cup will be four days shorter than previously 'as a concession' to leagues and clubs - twenty eight days instead of the usual thirty two - and that the 2023 Africa Cup of Nations will move to June from January.
The Greek government has suspended professional football in the country indefinitely. The move follows violence at a match between rivals Olympiakos and Panathinaikos, as well as a brawl between club officials at a board meeting on Tuesday. With chaps getting sparked and aal sorts. The Greek league has already been suspended twice this season due to violence. Newly-elected ruling party Syriza have pledged to stamp out the problem. As well as deal with the Germans.
The suspension affects the top three divisions in the country. 'What we have been informed is that the Super League and the Football League have been suspended indefinitely,' Super League president Giorgos Borovilos told reporters. 'We have a new government who are looking to bring this subject up for discussion and implement state laws related to it.' Borovilos added: 'The government wants games to start again as soon as possible, but for that they want to see immediate reactions from all of us.' Fans hurled flares, rocks and bottles at officials during Panathinaikos's 2-1 victory over league leaders Olympiakos on Sunday. An executive meeting of Super League officials was then called off after a Panathinaikos official claimed he had been punched by Olympiakos security personnel. The two Athens clubs are known as the 'eternal enemies' and share a fierce rivalry that often spills over into a violence. Although it's still nowt compared to Newcastle and Sunderland. Matches in the professional divisions were previously halted in September and November last year. The first suspension was caused by the death of a fan after clashes between supporters of third-division teams Ethnikos Piraeus and Irodotos. The second sanction followed an assault on the assistant director of the refereeing committee.
Charlton Not Very Athletic have admitted that video footage of a couple apparently having big, hot, thrusting, sweaty sex on the centre spot of the pitch at The Valley was, in fact, a publicity stunt. The video of the man and woman had more than a million views on social media. The Addicks had claimed that the amorous pair had broken into the ground and they were 'investigating' the footage. 'We decided to own up and explain that it was set up by us to launch our pitch hire campaign,' said commercial manager Mark Hassan-Ali. The club are hiring out their pitch for fans to play on in the summer and launched the offer on their website under the headline Score at the Valley.
An unexploded Second World War bomb has been discovered close to Borussia Dortmund's Signal Iduna Park ground. The five hundred and fifty pound device, reported by German broadcaster DW as being 'of British origin', was found on Thursday and plans are in place to try and defuse it. The discovery came just hours before Dortmund boss Jurgen Klopp was due to give a news conference ahead of Saturday's derby against Schalke. The eighty thousand capacity stadium and the surrounding area was evacuated. 
'It is not yet known how long the stadium area will remain off limits,' Dortmund, who shut their Fan World space and club museum, said in a brief statement. The bomb was found at a parking area to the west of the Signal Iduna Park and was discovered after viewing aerial photographs. Finding unexploded World War II bombs is a relatively common occurrence in Germany where several million tonnes of bombs were dropped by Bomber Command and the Soviet air force. The city of Dortmund suffered extensive destruction during bombing raids. Mind you, they did start the war in the first place so, you know, one could argue that those who live by the sword, die by the sword. Of course, the pen is mightier than the sword (and, much easier to fit into your top pocket as well).
China should start 'training babies' if the country is to be successful at football, according to President Xi Jinping. Who is, obviously, not mental nor nothing. The government has approved the country's 'football reform plan' and says that being good at football is the 'ardent wish of the whole nation.' As, it is indeed, the fervent wish of England.
And, it's equally unlikely to happen any time soon. In its summary of the reform plan, state news agency Xinhua said: 'Grasp the development opportunity as babies.' Xi, a football fan, reportedly has three wishes for China - to qualify for another World Cup, to host one and to win one. This blogger also had three wishes although, to be fair, one of them doesn't involve football. Instead, it involves a paradise island, a big dirty woman, a swimming pool and nice plate of tasty prawn chow mein. Swings and roundabouts, innit. But, perhaps this blogger has said too much. Anyway, the Asian nation, which has a population of around 1.35 billion people, is currently placed eighty second in the FIFA world rankings. China qualified for its one and only World Cup appearance at the 2002 finals, which were held in Japan and South Korea, losing all three group games, without scoring a goal.
The newspaper quotes an alleged - anonymous, and therefore almost certainly fictitious - 'source' as allegedly saying: 'It was no holds barred. It may have been a brief encounter but it left them both exhausted. This was pure animal passion. His wife would be horrified if she ever found out the full details.' Yes, that sounds like exactly the sort of thing an alleged 'source' would allegedly tell a notorious tabloid newspaper. The alleged woman allegedly travelled to the footballer's club 'along with her family' after learning that he was married and showed officials the explicit material she had been sent. Their reaction is not reported. Although 'crikey, that's a big one. He keeps that hidden in the showers' would not have been surprising. After allegedly demanding an alleged hundred grand to 'keep quiet' - which, as far as this blogger knows is, actually, a crime - she was 'referred to the legal department at the club.' Officials have allegedly refused to pay out any cash. Whether they have also snitched her up to The Law for her alleged attempted blackmail is, also, unknown at this time. The Sun on Sunday claims that, 'for legal reasons', it cannot reveal the alleged identity of the player, the woman or the club involved. Curiously, it does not reveal where it got the story from in the first place although, there would appear to be only three potential sources and two of those would appear to have little reasons to go running to a tabloid with such a tale. It reports that the player is 'distraught' after learning the woman had contacted his club - and we're supposed to, what, feel sorry for him? - while his wife is said to be 'completely unaware' of the one-night stand. FIFA says that it will not pay compensation to clubs and leagues unhappy about plans to play the 2022 Qatar World Cup in November and December. It also said that no apology was necessary for the idiotic scheduling of the tournament, which will disrupt a number of European leagues. A FIFA taskforce has recommended the 2022 World Cup take place in winter to avoid Qatar's hot summer temperatures. This, despite the fact that Qatar had been awarded the 2022 World Cup following a bid to hold the tournament in the summer.
'There will be no compensation,' sneered FIFA secretary general Jerome Valcke. 'There are seven years to reorganise.' FIFA's executive committee will meet in Zurich next month to ratify the taskforce's recommendation. Valcke also suggested that a 2022 World Cup final on 23 December was 'looking increasingly likely.' Premier League chief executive Richard Scudamore claims a final that close to Christmas will 'cause havoc' with the traditional festive club programme, while FIFA vice-president Jim Boyce wants it played a week earlier. But Valcke says that European governing body UEFA and other confederations are keen on Friday 23 December, although 18 December is 'also a possibility.' Valcke also confirmed that the 2022 World Cup will be four days shorter than previously 'as a concession' to leagues and clubs - twenty eight days instead of the usual thirty two - and that the 2023 Africa Cup of Nations will move to June from January.The Greek government has suspended professional football in the country indefinitely. The move follows violence at a match between rivals Olympiakos and Panathinaikos, as well as a brawl between club officials at a board meeting on Tuesday. With chaps getting sparked and aal sorts. The Greek league has already been suspended twice this season due to violence. Newly-elected ruling party Syriza have pledged to stamp out the problem. As well as deal with the Germans.
The suspension affects the top three divisions in the country. 'What we have been informed is that the Super League and the Football League have been suspended indefinitely,' Super League president Giorgos Borovilos told reporters. 'We have a new government who are looking to bring this subject up for discussion and implement state laws related to it.' Borovilos added: 'The government wants games to start again as soon as possible, but for that they want to see immediate reactions from all of us.' Fans hurled flares, rocks and bottles at officials during Panathinaikos's 2-1 victory over league leaders Olympiakos on Sunday. An executive meeting of Super League officials was then called off after a Panathinaikos official claimed he had been punched by Olympiakos security personnel. The two Athens clubs are known as the 'eternal enemies' and share a fierce rivalry that often spills over into a violence. Although it's still nowt compared to Newcastle and Sunderland. Matches in the professional divisions were previously halted in September and November last year. The first suspension was caused by the death of a fan after clashes between supporters of third-division teams Ethnikos Piraeus and Irodotos. The second sanction followed an assault on the assistant director of the refereeing committee.Charlton Not Very Athletic have admitted that video footage of a couple apparently having big, hot, thrusting, sweaty sex on the centre spot of the pitch at The Valley was, in fact, a publicity stunt. The video of the man and woman had more than a million views on social media. The Addicks had claimed that the amorous pair had broken into the ground and they were 'investigating' the footage. 'We decided to own up and explain that it was set up by us to launch our pitch hire campaign,' said commercial manager Mark Hassan-Ali. The club are hiring out their pitch for fans to play on in the summer and launched the offer on their website under the headline Score at the Valley.
'It is not yet known how long the stadium area will remain off limits,' Dortmund, who shut their Fan World space and club museum, said in a brief statement. The bomb was found at a parking area to the west of the Signal Iduna Park and was discovered after viewing aerial photographs. Finding unexploded World War II bombs is a relatively common occurrence in Germany where several million tonnes of bombs were dropped by Bomber Command and the Soviet air force. The city of Dortmund suffered extensive destruction during bombing raids. Mind you, they did start the war in the first place so, you know, one could argue that those who live by the sword, die by the sword. Of course, the pen is mightier than the sword (and, much easier to fit into your top pocket as well). China should start 'training babies' if the country is to be successful at football, according to President Xi Jinping. Who is, obviously, not mental nor nothing. The government has approved the country's 'football reform plan' and says that being good at football is the 'ardent wish of the whole nation.' As, it is indeed, the fervent wish of England.
And, it's equally unlikely to happen any time soon. In its summary of the reform plan, state news agency Xinhua said: 'Grasp the development opportunity as babies.' Xi, a football fan, reportedly has three wishes for China - to qualify for another World Cup, to host one and to win one. This blogger also had three wishes although, to be fair, one of them doesn't involve football. Instead, it involves a paradise island, a big dirty woman, a swimming pool and nice plate of tasty prawn chow mein. Swings and roundabouts, innit. But, perhaps this blogger has said too much. Anyway, the Asian nation, which has a population of around 1.35 billion people, is currently placed eighty second in the FIFA world rankings. China qualified for its one and only World Cup appearance at the 2002 finals, which were held in Japan and South Korea, losing all three group games, without scoring a goal.
