Welsh Wales produced the performance of the tournament so far to beat Belgium in the Quarter Finals of Euro 2016 on Friday evening. In an exhilarating display of counter-attacking football, they beat the highly fancied Belgians three-one and, in doing so, showed England's pampered, over-paid worhtless prima donnas what it's like to actually have the will to win a match instead of, you know, being more concerned about poncing around doing shampoo adverts. Wales reached the Semi-Finals of a major tournament for the first time after a stirring fightback in Lille backed by a huge travelling support. Radja Nainggolan put Belgium ahead with a thunderous twenty five-yard strike in the first half but Wales's captain Ashley Williams headed in from a corner to equalise soon afterwards in a breathless period of play littered with chances at both ends. Welsh celebrations reached stratospheric levels when Hal Robson-Kanu, a striker currently without a club, gave them the lead with a superb turn and finish. After withstanding late Belgium pressure, Wales sealed victory through a header from substitute Sam Vokes that set up a Semi-Final against Portugal and a potentially mouth-watering duel between Real Madrid team-mates Gareth Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo.
The game also provided proof that you can lose forty eight per cent to fifty two per cent and still stay in Europe.
The most jaw-dropping aspect of the aftermath of England's calamitous Euro 2016 exit was the truly excellent bug-eyed rant that Danny Baker used his Twitter account for shortly after England lost to Iceland. Seldom, dear blog reader, have more richly deserved expletives been used to describe so few. 'Absolutely disgraceful, England. You useless over-paid, over-indulged mollycoddled shits. You are beyond shame. [A] disgrace to working people.' And, that was one of the nicer bits! You go, Candyman! ITV's former tame England manager, Glenn Hoddle, also got a savaging from Baker: 'Oh, we are getting Glenn Hoddle's reaction now. Next up the reaction of a paving stone in Blackpool.' Heh.
There was also the, widely reported, silly season story about the Manchester comedian Joe Hart who got bombarded with abusive messages on Twitter after some planks mistook him for the wank hands England goalkeeper of the same name. Congratulations to Joe (no, the other one) for taking it all with a joke and suggesting that, despite the fact that he's 'a chubby gay comedian', if England want a replacement for his namesake, he is available! You certainly couldn't do any worse than the other Joe, Joe. (This blogger particularly enjoyed the bit about the poor chap called George Osborn [sic] who told Joe, in commiseration, 'I know how you feel, mate!')
How nice it was, also, to see notorious - but, sometimes quite funny - Twitter gobshite Joey Barton, finally come around to the suggestion Keith Telly Topping made two years ago that maybe, just maybe, wank hands Joe Hart might want to consider doing a few less of those wretched shampoo adverts (for which, one presumes, wank hands Joe Hart gets paid an obscene amount of wonga) and a bit more time practising his goalkeeping. Just a suggestion.
Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable and, recently relegated) Newcastle United have signed Crystal Palace striker Dwight Gayle and Bournemouth winger Matt Ritchie, both on five-year deals. Gayle, twenty five, scored twenty six goals in seventy four games for the Palace after joining them from Peterborough for six million smackers in July 2013. 'Newcastle has a massive fan base and a great history so it is amazing to be here,' he told the club website. Scotland winger Ritchie, twenty six, featured forty two times last season as The Cherries maintained their top-flight place. 'It's an unbelievable feeling to come to a football club like this,' said Ritchie. 'I loved it at Bournemouth - I had a fantastic time there and it had a huge impact on my career. But when a club like Newcastle comes calling, I couldn't pass up this opportunity.' Both fees are undisclosed, but Gayle's move - which happened on the day that Newcastle's England winger Andros Townsend went in the opposite direction in a separate deal - is reported to be worth ten million knicker, while Ritchie's signing is believed to have cost around twelve million notes. The pair are manager Rafael Benitez's second and third signings since the club's relegation from the Premier League, following Wednesday's arrival of Belgian goalkeeper Matz Sels. 'Dwight is a great player, a proven goalscorer, and it is fantastic news that he has joined us,' said Rafa The Gaffa. 'We have been following some wingers for a while and Matt was one of the best prospects for this team. He has great ability and pace, and as soon as we knew that Andros Townsend could be leaving, our priority was to finalise this deal.'
