For sixty seven minutes, it all looked so good, so positive, so exciting. And then, inevitably, it all went tits-up. 'We're English,' the comedian Bill Bailey once famously noted, 'we crave disappointment.' Well, we got it tonight. Croatia will play France in the World Cup final on Sunday.
So, just in case you were wondering, England's bid to reach a first World Cup final since 1966 came to an end as they lost in semi-final extra time to Croatia in Moscow. Juventus striker Mario Mandžukić scored the winning goal in the one hundred and ninth minute, slotting in from Ivan Perišić's flick-on into the area. Perišić's volley sent the match into extra time after Kieran Trippier had given England a fifth-minute lead with a sublime free-kick. England - or, at least, the ones that can still stand after all that - will now play in the most completely bloody pointless match in sport, the third place play-off against Belgium on Saturday. That, one imagines, is unlikely to bring the country to a stand-still.
It turns that that's football is not coming home after all. England's players were inconsolable at the final whistle as the dream was snatched away and the pain was etched on their faces as well as that of manager Gareth Southgate - but they can take great pride and credit from this tournament. Croatia, in sharp contrast, were jubilant and will now face France in the final in Moscow on Sunday. Unfancied before the competition, England defied expectations by reaching the semi-finals, but were undone by an experienced Croatia side. Harry Kane's golden touch deserted him when he missed a great chance to double their lead and Jesse Lingard also wasted a good chance by shooting wide. As England allowed their opportunity to slip from their grasp, Croatia grew in confidence. England lost momentum after the break and were punished when Perišić stole in ahead of Kyle Walker for an athletic finish. Croatia, with Luka Modrić the orchestrator, took control as England faded, with Perišić hitting the post and Jordan Pickford saving magnificently from Mandžukić, before the striker made the decisive contribution with eleven minutes of extra time left. The thirty two-year-old reacted quicker than John Stones in the area to beat Pickford - and England had nothing left to give. England's disappointment at seeing their hopes come crashing down when they were so close to a place they have not inhabited for fifty two years will be made more acute by the sense of missed opportunity. They controlled the first half and, with Croatia initially looking out of sorts after going through the physical demands of extra time and penalties in their two previous games, England will know they could have settled this game in that crucial phase. At half-time this blogger noted on Facebook 'I can't believe that Croatia can possibly play as badly in the second half as they did in the first so, this going to be tough ...' And, so it proved. Instead, Croatia grew in stature and by the end it was Zlatko Dalić's side who carried the greater energy and threat while England simply ran out of steam. England's expectation had reached fever pitch and they will regret their failure to take advantage of that spell when they were in control. There was nothing that could offer solace to Southgate and England's players as they stood saluting their supporters at the end - but the reaction from the travelling fans was an indicator of what they achieved in Russia. England's fans rose as one to give them a standing ovation in a show of appreciation for their best run at a major competition since Euro '96 - and a far cry from the humiliation of failing to get out of the group stage in Brazil four years ago and the Euro 2016 elimination by Iceland. Southgate and his players have conducted themselves superbly and offered enough to take renewed optimism into the next phase of England's development. It should be stressed that Croatia's effort was magnificent given their exertions in the past two knockout rounds - but England looked like a spent force as this game went on. Kane gave it everything but the sharpness was not there, removing a crucial threat as they searched for the spark to reignite their World Cup ambitions. Dele Alli also looked short of full power after a bright start, as did Lingard and even the introduction of Marcus Rashford could not fire up England. THe had looked ready to run riot in the first half, with Sterling caused the Croatian defence all sorts of problems with his pace, but they were flat from the start of the second period, allowing Croatia to get up a head of steam that in the end proved unstoppable.
Shortly after England's victory over Sweden in the World Cup quarter final on Saturday, ITV News reported that 'thirty million people' had been watching the BBC's live coverage. One is not entirely sure where they got that particular figure from given that the overnights and the iPlayer streaming figures would not be available until the next day and the consolidated '+7' ratings for another week after that but ... it was probably fair to say that 'lots' of people were, indeed, watching these goings-on. One would hope that a decent majority of them also caught the 'ten series of Doctor Who on iPlayer' trailer at the end!
In actual fact, as expected, the ITV News 'figure' (for which read 'total guess') was out by about ten million. England's decisive World Cup quarter-final victory over Sweden was watched by nearly twenty million viewers on BBC1, according to overnight figures - although that does not take into account the many thousands who were watching on pubs and on big screens at various events around the country. An average of 15.8 million watched the whole match and a peak audience of 19.9 million viewers were watching as the match ended. It was also live-streamed online by 3.8 million people, making it the BBC's highest online-viewed live programme ever (despite reports that demand had caused iPlayer to crash towards the end of the match). The broadcast received an eighty nine per cent share of the available TV audience. The figures were lower than the 23.6 million who tuned-in for England's penalty shootout with Colombia earlier this week although, that was an evening kick-off. Match Of The Day host - and, the last man to score in a World Cup semi-final for England - yer actual Gary Lineker said: 'Humongous figures again for England. Football's coming to homes everywhere.' Oh, very good, Gary. Saw what you did there! The last quarter-final - between Russia and Croatia - was seen by an overnight average audience of 7.8 million viewers on ITV. The match -which Croatia won on penalties after Russia dramatically equalised in extra time - had a peak audience of 13.7 million during the shootout.
According to some Middle Class hippy Communist louse of no importance at the Independent, 'BBC viewers castigate Martin Keown after he tells people reading books during World Cup match to "get a life."' Which, as usual when the words 'BBC viewers' are used in any report, actually means 'a couple of dozen sneering malcontents on social media.' Ah, professional offence-takers, what would we do without them? The BBC has not commented upon the 'inevitable social media storm' although if they did, one would very much hope such a response would include the words 'oh, grow-the-fuck-up.' Of course, the BBC would never say that as they are far too polite to suggest any such thing. But, this blogger isn't.
Wor Geet Canny Alan Shearer seems to be having a great time out in Russia with the BBC team, as this clip of him doing a bit of Lionel Ritchie at dinner - and subsequently posted online by his amused colleagues - proves! Tell 'em all about it, Big Man!
After England secured their place in the World Cup semi-finals, it was safe to say that World Cup fever was sweeping the country. Some of it, perhaps, more than a touch over-enthusiastic. On Sunday morning, Andrew Marr - who is, of course, Scottish - paid his own subtle tribute to England manager Gareth Southgate by wearing a version of Southgate's now-trademark waistcoat to present The Andrew Marr Show.
The FA has been fined seventy thousand Swiss francs (hich is about fifty grand) after Dele Alli, Eric Dier and Raheem Sterling wore 'unauthorised' socks at the World Cup. Not, this blogger is not making this up. The players wore branded ankle support socks over official Nike socks, ignoring a FIFA warning to stop. FIFA said the FA's fine was for 'breaching media and marketing regulations and the FIFA equipment regulations.' FIFA said that 'several' England players 'continued to display unauthorised commercial branding on playing equipment items before and during the quarter-final match between Sweden and England.' The Swedish FA has also been punished with the same fine for a similar 'sock offence' earlier in the tournament. That makes it the joint second highest fine at the World Cup behind Argentina's one hundred and five thousand Swiss franc punishment after their fans threw objects and chanted homophobic abuse. Which is, obviously, nowhere near as serious as 'wearing the wrong sort of socks,' clearly.
Le football revient à la maison, oui? France were the first team to reach the World Cup final after edging past neighbours Belgium in the semi-final in St Petersburg on Tuesday. Defender Samuel Umtiti scored the winning goal for the 1998 champions in the second-half with a towering header from Antoine Griezmann's corner. Didier Deschamps' side were on the back foot for large periods of the game but emerged victorious to reach their third World Cup final, having been beaten by Italy on penalties in 2006. Belgium came through the quarter-finals by impressively beating Brazil, but they were unable to find the equaliser, as Axel Witsel's powerful, long-range drive was pushed away by Hugo Lloris, who also brilliantly kept out Toby Alderweireld's turn and shot. At the final whistle, the France substitutes ran on the pitch to celebrate with the players, while manager Didier Deschamps was mobbed by his staff before dancing around in a circle. Twenty years ago, France won the World Cup for the first and only time in their history at home in Paris with a three-nil win over Brazil. That team was captained by Deschamps, who is now aiming to emulate Brazilian Mario Zagallo and Germany's Franz Beckenbauer by winning the competition as both a player and manager. Deschamps was a holding midfielder and his France side have come to characterise his playing style of functionality-over-flair by adopting a conservative game. Belgium had sixty four per cent possession in the match and with France keeping their shape, opting to play on the counter-attack with speed, forward Kylian Mbappé was a constant threat with his darting runs and trickery with the ball. The teenager, who announced himself on the global stage by scoring twice against Argentina in the second round, played a sublime flick to Olivier Giroud in on goal, but the Moscow Chelski FC man saw his shot blocked from close range. Just imagine what a great side France would be if only the had a centre forward. Of course, it's worth remembering that the 1998 French team was the first to win a World Cup without a recognised centre forward ... instead, they had Miss Stéphanie Guivarc'h doing for that team what he would subsequently do for this blogger's beloved (though even then unsellable) Magpies and for Glasgow Rangers. Not a lot. Which brings us nicely back to Monsieur Giroud. Although Giroud has now had thirteen shots in the tournament without finding the target, but he is likely to keep his place in the starting eleven for the final. Deschamps has been questioned for continuing to deploy Giroud up front in his side and has been asked why a place cannot be found for other attacking talents such as Ousmane Dembélé or Thomas Lemar. But he has answered the critics with a run to a second consecutive major tournament final after Euro 2016, when they were beaten in extra-time by Portugal. There was optimism that Belgium's 'golden generation' of players containing Eden Hazard, Kevin de Bruyne and Romelu Lukaku could finally deliver silverware for their country. But the win in the previous round against Brazil proved to be their peak, coming up short in a major tournament once again. The Red Devils lost in the quarter-final of both the previous World Cup and the European Championship and their second World Cup semi-final appearance ended in defeat, just as in 1986 against a Diego Maradona-inspired Argentina. The team's twenty four-match unbeaten run stretching back to September 2016 also came to an end, as coach Roberto Martinez suffered a first loss in a competitive game. Ten of the eleven starters were Premier League-based and one of those - The Scum's Lukaku, who was excellent against Brazil - was left stifled by France's excellent centre-back pairing of Umtiti and Raphaël Varane. Lukaku had just over twenty touches on the ball in the whole match - the least of any player who started the game. Sheikh Yer Man City's De Bruyne was unable to dictate the game and although Hazard started brightly, fizzing a low shot narrowly wide and another deflecting over, he too drifted out of the game during the second-half.
From the BBC Sport website's coverage of the first semi-final: 'Belgium's only consolation is that they still have one game left to play in the tournament - Saturday's third/fourth place play-off against the loser from the England versus Croatia encounter.' And, dear blog reader, if you look up 'really, really really fekkin' small consolations' on Google, you'll find that one extremely close to the top of the list.
Meanwhile, here's the best tweet of the World Cup so far!
Broadcasters have been ordered to stop their cameras zooming in on 'hot women' in the crowd at football matches, FIFA's diversity boss says. Federico Addiechi said that football's world governing body needed to 'help tackle sexism' at the World Cup. 'We've done it with individual broadcasters. We've done it with our host broadcast services,' he said. Anti-discrimination group Fare Network claims that sexism has been 'the biggest problem' at Russia 2018. It has been monitoring games and says it has 'documented more than thirty cases.' Asked if the 'crackdown on cutaways' of female fans would become official FIFA policy, Addiechi said: 'This is one of the activities we definitely will have in future - it's a normal evolution.' He said it was 'not yet a proactive campaign' but said FIFA would 'take action against things that are wrong.' Before the tournament there were concerns that homophobia and racism would be the major areas of concern but Fare Network executive director Piara Powar said that sexism was the main focus of discrimination logged by his team - mainly of Russian women being 'accosted in the streets' by male fans. However, Powar believes that the real number of incidents is likely to be 'ten times this.' Powar added there had been 'several cases' of female reporters being grabbed or kissed whilst broadcasting. When asked how FIFA could combat this, Addiechi said it has 'been working' with the local organisers and Russian police to identify these fans, some of whom have lost their FAN-IDs (a document all spectators must have to obtain access to stadiums at the World Cup) and been forced to leave the country. During Russia 2018 photographic agency Getty Images published a photo gallery of 'the hottest fans at the World Cup' featuring exclusively young women. The gallery was later removed by Getty, who said that it was 'a regrettable error in judgement' and that 'an internal investigation would be made.'
