Ze Chermans v Ze Hargies
Apparently, Paul the Psychic Octopus had predicted a German win. Again. And, as Steve Wilson noted, anybody who'd been following his predictions so far would be 'squids-in.' Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, you don't get this on ITV with their sour-faced and rancid anti-Uruguay agenda!
Yesterday, kind of, restored my faith in football to, not only thrill but, also, surprise. Today couldn't possibly live up to that, could it? Three minutes it took to answer that question. In a tournament of some rubbish goalkeeping moments, we got another one to add to the list. Schweinsteiger knocked over a wicked inswinging free-kick from the left and after Thomas Mueller glanced it towards goal, Sergio Romero found himself in no-man's land and the ball hit his leg before flying into the net. Gott in himmel! That, I didn't expect.
So, people my wonder how an Englishman could get so enthused about Germany, of all teams. But, hey, I've never had much of a problem with the Germans. They're a good side, it's a really nice country, my sister in law comes from there and they make very efficient cars! How much longer can a country be punished for a homicidal crimes of a deranged and psychotic madman? I mean, Toni Schumacher's been retired for twenty five years now, surely we can move on? At half-time Alan Hansen was drawing so many arrows on the screen I thought it was going to turn into the title sequence of Dad's Army. The general consensus of the panel was the Argentina's big players - Messi, Tevez et al - weren't performing. No shit?
The second-half progressed with Messi seemingly trying to win the game on his own but he was well shackled for the most part by the very impressive Boeteng. But the more the Argentines came forward, the more dangerous they looked. 'You get the feeling Argentina are one pass away,' said Steve Wilson, somewhat obviously. There was a period of about ten minutes where but for some last-ditch tackling, Argentina could have equalised three or four times. So, what do you think happened, then? Why, the Germans went up the other end and scored, of course. They're really very good at doing that! Tripped and, from a position on the floor just outside the box, Sami Khedira somehow found a slide rule pass to Lukas Podolski on the left and his perfect ball along the six-yard line was tapped in by a gleeful Miroslav Klose, his thirteenth goal in World Cup finals. Unlucky for some. Well, unlucky for Argentina, anyway. Tevez had a go at the other end.
'Look at Tevez,' said Wilson. 'He's like a one man ... battleship!' Oh, the comedy potential. 'The Bismarck'? The 'General Belgrano'? I mean, there's serving jokes up a plate and then there's really serving jokes up on a plate! Fifteen minutes out, the Germans got a third. Similar in construction to the second, Schweinsteiger ran through about four tackles in the box before setting up Friedrich. There was a moment when Tevez got the ball on the edge of the box, dipped his shoulder, cut inside and then spanked one about twenty rows back into the crowd. It was that sort of day for the men from the River Plate. We got shots of Diego on the touchline looking for all the world like a man who'd just shat in his best suit. The scowl was a mixture of contempt, sadness and suppressed violence. Shadenfreude? Jah. Surprisingly, perhaps, the Argies didn't revert to type and start kicking people. Well, not much, anyway. It appeared as though they, as much as the rest of the world, had been shocked by just how easily they had been swept aside by an athletic, skillful young German side. One that's still nowhere near the finished article - at times they looked very shaky sat the back. But one that score goals for fun. 'And Messi is going the same way as Kaka...' Down the toilet? Right at the death, the Germans did it again - 'counter-attacking football at it's very best,' noted Mark Lawrenson, wisely. There was shots of Angela Merkel in the crowd with a delirious look on her face that German Chancellors normally only have when they're considering invading the Sudetenland. You couldn't blame her for being happy, though. Her boys had done her, and their Fatherland proud. They'd outclassed a class outfit. You don't see that very often in world football. 'Ein, zwei, drei, they have struck fear into the hearts of their opponents,' noted Gary Lineker. See, Chiles, that's how you sum up after a World Cup classic.
Spain v Paraguay
Surely we couldn't get four genuinely brilliant quarter finals in a row? I mean, has that ever happened? Even in 1970, Uruguay ground out a dreadful 1-0 win against the USSR. The BBC warmed up with a collection of Spain's Greatest Misses and, a repetition of the statistic that they really seem to love - that Jose Luis Chilavert scored more international goals than Emile Heskey. And Chilavert was a goalkeeper. Gary, Alan and Alan were putting in a long stint, having all done the earlier match but they brought on Lee Dxion for Seedorf and he seemed to be the only one who had actually done a bit of research of the Paraguyans. The general gist of which was 'they're boring but they don't concede many!' Oh joy. 'Paraguay have never played in a World Cup quarter final, Spain have never won one,' Gary told us. So, something had to give!
The first half was ... well, I was going to say disappointing but really, it was only disappointing in comparison with the previous three. It was actually decent enough - and certainly interesting. And Paraguay were, by a not inconsiderable distance - the better side. They strangled the Spanish attacking force, giving Villa and Torres hardly a kick. And the latter, when he did get a kick, usually managed to put it into Row Q. (He never hit it hard enough to get it to Row Z.) The Paraguayans pressed high up the pitch and, in Nelson Valdez, they had the game's best player. He even had the ball in the net, but it was chalked out for a marginal offside.
The game exploded to life in the fifty fifth minute in what rapidly became a tale of two penalties. Or three, actually. First Pique blatantly dragged down Oscar Cardozo from a corner. He was booked. Cardozo himself took the resultant spot-kick for Paraguay but hit it weakly to Iker Casillas' left. The keeper made an easy save. Almost straight from the restart, up the other end David Villa got into the Paraguay box and went down under a challenge from Antolin Alcaraz. It looked a bit soft, but the ref pointed to the spot again whilst the Spaniards all waved about imaginary red cards at him.
Senor Bartes, seemingly, prefers yellow. Xabi Alonso stepped up and scored but to much flapping a hands, the referee disallowed it for encroachment. Alonso changed his mind for the retake - fatal. He went the other way and Villar, brilliantly, saved it. (There should, actually have been a fourth penalty immediately afterwards as the keeper, in scrambling to dive on the blocked spot-kick sent Cesc Fabregas absolutely flying.) Villar then topped even that with a spectacular looking save from an Iniesta shot. Madness.
And then finally, just as it seemed no one wanted to score, Spain did. It was a comedy goal of extreme proportions too. A quick break, Iniesta set up Pedro and, after his shot crashed back off the post, it came back to David Villa who - via both posts - eventually found the net. Ay carumba. There was still time for Roque Santa Cruz to waste a glorious opportunity to equalise. And for Villa to almost double the lead as the game became stretched in the final moments. At last, we'd got a - bit of a - classic to go with the other three. Better late than never. Sergio Ramos got kicked in the face and, for a time it looked as though the Spanish were going to call for an undertaker it took him so long to get up. The Spanish had done in despite playing dreadfully. If they do that against the Germans, they won't be so lucky.
Goals: 133
Red Cards: 15
Apparently, Paul the Psychic Octopus had predicted a German win. Again. And, as Steve Wilson noted, anybody who'd been following his predictions so far would be 'squids-in.' Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, you don't get this on ITV with their sour-faced and rancid anti-Uruguay agenda!
Yesterday, kind of, restored my faith in football to, not only thrill but, also, surprise. Today couldn't possibly live up to that, could it? Three minutes it took to answer that question. In a tournament of some rubbish goalkeeping moments, we got another one to add to the list. Schweinsteiger knocked over a wicked inswinging free-kick from the left and after Thomas Mueller glanced it towards goal, Sergio Romero found himself in no-man's land and the ball hit his leg before flying into the net. Gott in himmel! That, I didn't expect.
So, people my wonder how an Englishman could get so enthused about Germany, of all teams. But, hey, I've never had much of a problem with the Germans. They're a good side, it's a really nice country, my sister in law comes from there and they make very efficient cars! How much longer can a country be punished for a homicidal crimes of a deranged and psychotic madman? I mean, Toni Schumacher's been retired for twenty five years now, surely we can move on? At half-time Alan Hansen was drawing so many arrows on the screen I thought it was going to turn into the title sequence of Dad's Army. The general consensus of the panel was the Argentina's big players - Messi, Tevez et al - weren't performing. No shit?
The second-half progressed with Messi seemingly trying to win the game on his own but he was well shackled for the most part by the very impressive Boeteng. But the more the Argentines came forward, the more dangerous they looked. 'You get the feeling Argentina are one pass away,' said Steve Wilson, somewhat obviously. There was a period of about ten minutes where but for some last-ditch tackling, Argentina could have equalised three or four times. So, what do you think happened, then? Why, the Germans went up the other end and scored, of course. They're really very good at doing that! Tripped and, from a position on the floor just outside the box, Sami Khedira somehow found a slide rule pass to Lukas Podolski on the left and his perfect ball along the six-yard line was tapped in by a gleeful Miroslav Klose, his thirteenth goal in World Cup finals. Unlucky for some. Well, unlucky for Argentina, anyway. Tevez had a go at the other end.
'Look at Tevez,' said Wilson. 'He's like a one man ... battleship!' Oh, the comedy potential. 'The Bismarck'? The 'General Belgrano'? I mean, there's serving jokes up a plate and then there's really serving jokes up on a plate! Fifteen minutes out, the Germans got a third. Similar in construction to the second, Schweinsteiger ran through about four tackles in the box before setting up Friedrich. There was a moment when Tevez got the ball on the edge of the box, dipped his shoulder, cut inside and then spanked one about twenty rows back into the crowd. It was that sort of day for the men from the River Plate. We got shots of Diego on the touchline looking for all the world like a man who'd just shat in his best suit. The scowl was a mixture of contempt, sadness and suppressed violence. Shadenfreude? Jah. Surprisingly, perhaps, the Argies didn't revert to type and start kicking people. Well, not much, anyway. It appeared as though they, as much as the rest of the world, had been shocked by just how easily they had been swept aside by an athletic, skillful young German side. One that's still nowhere near the finished article - at times they looked very shaky sat the back. But one that score goals for fun. 'And Messi is going the same way as Kaka...' Down the toilet? Right at the death, the Germans did it again - 'counter-attacking football at it's very best,' noted Mark Lawrenson, wisely. There was shots of Angela Merkel in the crowd with a delirious look on her face that German Chancellors normally only have when they're considering invading the Sudetenland. You couldn't blame her for being happy, though. Her boys had done her, and their Fatherland proud. They'd outclassed a class outfit. You don't see that very often in world football. 'Ein, zwei, drei, they have struck fear into the hearts of their opponents,' noted Gary Lineker. See, Chiles, that's how you sum up after a World Cup classic.Spain v Paraguay
Surely we couldn't get four genuinely brilliant quarter finals in a row? I mean, has that ever happened? Even in 1970, Uruguay ground out a dreadful 1-0 win against the USSR. The BBC warmed up with a collection of Spain's Greatest Misses and, a repetition of the statistic that they really seem to love - that Jose Luis Chilavert scored more international goals than Emile Heskey. And Chilavert was a goalkeeper. Gary, Alan and Alan were putting in a long stint, having all done the earlier match but they brought on Lee Dxion for Seedorf and he seemed to be the only one who had actually done a bit of research of the Paraguyans. The general gist of which was 'they're boring but they don't concede many!' Oh joy. 'Paraguay have never played in a World Cup quarter final, Spain have never won one,' Gary told us. So, something had to give!
The first half was ... well, I was going to say disappointing but really, it was only disappointing in comparison with the previous three. It was actually decent enough - and certainly interesting. And Paraguay were, by a not inconsiderable distance - the better side. They strangled the Spanish attacking force, giving Villa and Torres hardly a kick. And the latter, when he did get a kick, usually managed to put it into Row Q. (He never hit it hard enough to get it to Row Z.) The Paraguayans pressed high up the pitch and, in Nelson Valdez, they had the game's best player. He even had the ball in the net, but it was chalked out for a marginal offside.
The game exploded to life in the fifty fifth minute in what rapidly became a tale of two penalties. Or three, actually. First Pique blatantly dragged down Oscar Cardozo from a corner. He was booked. Cardozo himself took the resultant spot-kick for Paraguay but hit it weakly to Iker Casillas' left. The keeper made an easy save. Almost straight from the restart, up the other end David Villa got into the Paraguay box and went down under a challenge from Antolin Alcaraz. It looked a bit soft, but the ref pointed to the spot again whilst the Spaniards all waved about imaginary red cards at him.
Senor Bartes, seemingly, prefers yellow. Xabi Alonso stepped up and scored but to much flapping a hands, the referee disallowed it for encroachment. Alonso changed his mind for the retake - fatal. He went the other way and Villar, brilliantly, saved it. (There should, actually have been a fourth penalty immediately afterwards as the keeper, in scrambling to dive on the blocked spot-kick sent Cesc Fabregas absolutely flying.) Villar then topped even that with a spectacular looking save from an Iniesta shot. Madness.And then finally, just as it seemed no one wanted to score, Spain did. It was a comedy goal of extreme proportions too. A quick break, Iniesta set up Pedro and, after his shot crashed back off the post, it came back to David Villa who - via both posts - eventually found the net. Ay carumba. There was still time for Roque Santa Cruz to waste a glorious opportunity to equalise. And for Villa to almost double the lead as the game became stretched in the final moments. At last, we'd got a - bit of a - classic to go with the other three. Better late than never. Sergio Ramos got kicked in the face and, for a time it looked as though the Spanish were going to call for an undertaker it took him so long to get up. The Spanish had done in despite playing dreadfully. If they do that against the Germans, they won't be so lucky.
Goals: 133
Red Cards: 15
