Papiss Demba Cisse scored twice as yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though still unsellable) Magpies delivered a first-half masterclass in a 3-1 win over the West Bromwich Albinos on Sunday that maintained United's push for a European finish. Newcastle produced an excellent attacking performance to beat The Baggies at The Hawthorns and move level on points with fifth-placed Moscow Chelski FC. The Senegal striker finished off well-worked moves either side of a solo effort by French playmaker Hatem Ben Arfa, virtually securing victory for Newcastle by the thirty fourth minute. West Brom improved after the break, with substitute Shane Long reducing the deficit in the fifty second minute after a defensive mix-up in which Mike Williamson looked like a right plank when he collided with Tim Krul. But, Newcastle held on to move level on points with fifth-place Moscow Chelski with eight matches of the season left. Stottingtot Hotshots are five points ahead in fourth, The Liverpool Yee-Haw Alabamans eight points being The Toon in seventh. Cisse has now scored five goals in six matches since joining United from Freiburg in January. The tone was set as early as the fifth minute when Cisse's cross was only half cleared by Liam Ridgewell to Demba Ba, whose volley into the ground was tipped over the crossbar by Ben Foster. 
Within a minute the Magpies were ahead. Jonas Gutierrez slid possession out to the unmarked Ben Arfa, wide on the left and his cross was clinically converted by Cisse, who was marginally onside despite appeals from the Baggies defence and howls of derision from their more numskull supporters. You know, like Adrian Chiles, fr instance. By the twelfth minute it was two thanks to a counter-attacking masterclass from the Magpies. Starting on the edge of his own area, Ben Arfa played a neat one-two with Yohan Cabaye and then exchanged passes with Cisse to leave him deep in Baggies territory. Then, shaping on to his left foot, he cut in from the right channel before unleashing a spanker of a left foot shot into the far corner of Foster's net. James Morrison and Marc-Antoine Fortune both spurned chances as the Baggies attempted to gain a foothold in the contest, however any prospect of a comeback was more-or-less dismissed by Alan Pardew's team's third in the thirty fourth minute. Once again, it occurred with all of the brute force of a savage slap across the chops in terms of counter-attacking. Ben Arfa was, again, at its core, releasing Ba down the left with a perfectly-weighted pass. The Frenchman continued his run beyond the Senegal striker, who released him with a cute backheel, before his cross was swept home by Cisse. Chris Foy's half-time whistle was, unsurprisingly, greeted with discord from the sour-faced home crowd, while a double substitution by Hodgson, replacing Keith Andrews and Jerome Thomas with Shane Long and Chris Brunt, hardly came as a shock. United were also forced into a half-time change, Fabricio Coloccini suffering a hamstring injury late in the first half. He was replaced by Davide Santon with James Perch moving inside to partner Williamson at the centre. An untimely slip from Billy Jones presented Cisse with a one-on-one duel with Foster for his hat-trick, but the goalkeeper prevailed, standing tall to block with his body. The home side created a chink of light for themselves in the fifty second minute when Long reduced the deficit. Tim Krul darted off his line to deal with a flighted ball but Williamson, panicked under pressure from Peter Odemwingie and diverted it into the Irishman's path to leave him with an empty net. Which, of course, was queue for the locals to go mental and start beating their chests and chunter on about how they were gonna do this and that and the other. In the event, they did none of the above. Long's energy certainly provided the Baggies with fresh impetus, yet with their onus now on the offensive, it left them vulnerable to counter-attacks and, after another delicious dribble, Ben Arfa forced a fine Foster save. The comeback ended there, however, as a combination of stoppages for injuries and resolute Newcastle defending halted Roy Hodgson's side's momentum, leaving the travelling Toon Army to toast a hugely impressive display from their side. It has been a memorable season for the Magpies so far - despite a feeling that they've rather punched above their weight - and on this evidence they certainly remain capable of challenging for a top-six finish. Key to their chances are the attacking trio of Ben Arfa, Cisse and Demba Ba - none of whom West Brom could live with early on. The Baggies are now without a win in three matches but remain eleven points clear of the relegation zone in fourteenth.
Like a sinister, cat-stroking, vile and odious Bond villain intent on total world domination, Mike Ashley has seemingly hatched a terrible plan to rebrand not just the home ground of yer actual Newcastle United, but also anything with the name of St James' Park attached to it.
At least, that's if the BBC's sports website football result compilers are to be believed. Having now spread his tentacles down to Devon - and Exeter City's so-called 'real St James Park' - nothing would seems sacred and beyond the billionaire's horrifying doo-dah. From The North awaits the chilling news from London of the newly-christened 'Sports Direct Palace', 'Sports Direct Royal Park', 'the Court of Sports Direct Arena' and 'Sports Direct Tube Station.'
Within a minute the Magpies were ahead. Jonas Gutierrez slid possession out to the unmarked Ben Arfa, wide on the left and his cross was clinically converted by Cisse, who was marginally onside despite appeals from the Baggies defence and howls of derision from their more numskull supporters. You know, like Adrian Chiles, fr instance. By the twelfth minute it was two thanks to a counter-attacking masterclass from the Magpies. Starting on the edge of his own area, Ben Arfa played a neat one-two with Yohan Cabaye and then exchanged passes with Cisse to leave him deep in Baggies territory. Then, shaping on to his left foot, he cut in from the right channel before unleashing a spanker of a left foot shot into the far corner of Foster's net. James Morrison and Marc-Antoine Fortune both spurned chances as the Baggies attempted to gain a foothold in the contest, however any prospect of a comeback was more-or-less dismissed by Alan Pardew's team's third in the thirty fourth minute. Once again, it occurred with all of the brute force of a savage slap across the chops in terms of counter-attacking. Ben Arfa was, again, at its core, releasing Ba down the left with a perfectly-weighted pass. The Frenchman continued his run beyond the Senegal striker, who released him with a cute backheel, before his cross was swept home by Cisse. Chris Foy's half-time whistle was, unsurprisingly, greeted with discord from the sour-faced home crowd, while a double substitution by Hodgson, replacing Keith Andrews and Jerome Thomas with Shane Long and Chris Brunt, hardly came as a shock. United were also forced into a half-time change, Fabricio Coloccini suffering a hamstring injury late in the first half. He was replaced by Davide Santon with James Perch moving inside to partner Williamson at the centre. An untimely slip from Billy Jones presented Cisse with a one-on-one duel with Foster for his hat-trick, but the goalkeeper prevailed, standing tall to block with his body. The home side created a chink of light for themselves in the fifty second minute when Long reduced the deficit. Tim Krul darted off his line to deal with a flighted ball but Williamson, panicked under pressure from Peter Odemwingie and diverted it into the Irishman's path to leave him with an empty net. Which, of course, was queue for the locals to go mental and start beating their chests and chunter on about how they were gonna do this and that and the other. In the event, they did none of the above. Long's energy certainly provided the Baggies with fresh impetus, yet with their onus now on the offensive, it left them vulnerable to counter-attacks and, after another delicious dribble, Ben Arfa forced a fine Foster save. The comeback ended there, however, as a combination of stoppages for injuries and resolute Newcastle defending halted Roy Hodgson's side's momentum, leaving the travelling Toon Army to toast a hugely impressive display from their side. It has been a memorable season for the Magpies so far - despite a feeling that they've rather punched above their weight - and on this evidence they certainly remain capable of challenging for a top-six finish. Key to their chances are the attacking trio of Ben Arfa, Cisse and Demba Ba - none of whom West Brom could live with early on. The Baggies are now without a win in three matches but remain eleven points clear of the relegation zone in fourteenth.Like a sinister, cat-stroking, vile and odious Bond villain intent on total world domination, Mike Ashley has seemingly hatched a terrible plan to rebrand not just the home ground of yer actual Newcastle United, but also anything with the name of St James' Park attached to it.
At least, that's if the BBC's sports website football result compilers are to be believed. Having now spread his tentacles down to Devon - and Exeter City's so-called 'real St James Park' - nothing would seems sacred and beyond the billionaire's horrifying doo-dah. From The North awaits the chilling news from London of the newly-christened 'Sports Direct Palace', 'Sports Direct Royal Park', 'the Court of Sports Direct Arena' and 'Sports Direct Tube Station.' 
