Scowling, sour-faced, dour and miserable Scotsman yer actual Kenny Dalglish had reason to be especially scowling sour-faced dour and miserable as his Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws side were outplayed, outclassed and outfought by yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (thought still unsellable) Magpies at the artist formerly known as St James' Park. And, truly, this was glorious in yer actual Keith Telly Topping's sight, so it was. On the other hand it was all smiles for the locals among a sell-out crowd of fifty two thousand three hundred and sixty three punters as Alan Pardew celebrated a repeat of his first game in charge of United with another win over Liverpool. A thoroughly entertaining, drama-packed game ended in a victory for Newcastle over The Scowling Reds 2-0, with two quality strikes from Papiss Demba Cissé either side of half-time - the Senegalese striker's sixth and seventh goals in just seven appearances in English football for the Black and Whites. 
Liverpool also had their goalkeeper, Pepe Reina, sent to the stands after the Spaniard tried to stick the nut on James Perch late in the game. And totally failed. Which, actually, made it even funnier. The game ended with delirious United fans chanting 'you're getting sacked in the morning' to the hapless former Toon manager scowling sour-faced, dour and miserable Dalglish whose side have now lost six of their last seven games. Trust me when I tell you, dear blog reader, they've loved it. Loved it. It also was a thoroughly rotten day for Liverpool's three former Magpies. Firstly there was José Enrique Sánchez - still unforgiven on Tyneside where he had previously been something of a cult figure, for a series of rather unwise comments which he made on Twitter after he left United in the summer. (In case you missed them, they were: 
'The club is allowing all the major players of the team to go. Seriously, do you think it is the fault of the players? This club will never again fight to be among the top six again with this policy.' The fact that, as the game started United were, actually, sixth, and Liverpool weren't, merely added to the irony.) Enrique was, therefore, booed all afternoon, subjected to chants of 'Jose Enrique/we're in the Top Six!' and 'we're in the Top Six, we're in the Top Six/you're not, you're not!' and ended the game playing in goal after Reina's thigh-slippingly funny dismissal. Andy Carroll - whom Liverpool, remember, had paid The Toon thirty five million quid for just over a year ago and now looks incapable of hitting a barn door at six feet - was also booed all afternoon, booked for a ludicrous dive in the first half in an attempt to win a penalty and get Tim Krul sent off when it would have been easier for him to score, subjected to very amusing chants of 'what a waste of money' and appeared angry and frustrated when he was withdrawn by scowling, sour-faced Dalglish fifteen minutes from time - also had a time rotten time of it. Carroll, reportedly, left 'looking close to tears [and] mouthing obscenities towards Dalglish.' Well, according to the Torygraph, anyway. One would suggest anybody who's likely to be out on the razz in The Bigg Market tonight should beware in case any glasses, you know, 'accidentally slip out of someone's hand.' It appeared an agonising experience for the two players who had left Newcastle to join an, allegedly, 'bigger club' in 2011. Enrique was tortured all afternoon by Hatem Ben Arfa whilst Carroll just looked like he was being tortured by the whole experience, failing to take two good chances in the first half, his every touch booed and jeered by 'his people.' Finally, Craig Bellamy was also booed all afternoon. Because he's a nasty, mouthy little bugger and nobody likes him very much. So, no change there then. 
To the - much - more important stuff, Cissé headed in Hatem Ben Arfa's pinpoint cross in a first-half in which Liverpool had plenty of the ball but where Tim Krul hardly had a shot to save, before the same player tapped in from Demba Ba's centre shortly after the break. A piss poor afternoon for the visitors in the Tyneside sunshine was made just that little bit worse when Reina saw red. Although James Perch - who had a superb afternoon otherwise, helping to shackle Carroll along with Man of the Match Mike Williamson - will probably have had harder impacts on his face from his pillow than from Reina's bald heed. Perch had impeded the Spaniard as he collected a Williamson header from a corner and was booked for this, rightly. But when Reina squared up to the Newcastle defender, leading with his head, referee Martin The Card Atkinson had little choice but to send the keeper off. Well, no, that's wrong. He clearly did have a choice, but he chose not to exercise it. The crowd laughed. And laughed. And laughed until they stopped. And then, they laughed some more. 
It was that sort of afternoon, frankly. Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws have now lost six of their last seven league games, their worst run in many, many years and cause for much celebration around the rest of the country. For, such is the totally high regard with which scowling, sour-faced, dour and miserable Dalglish and his team are held by other football fans. As they trooped off at the end, well beaten and with their tails between their legs, it was a moment befitting the recent woeful run for Dalglish's side whilst for the hosts, the victory was a tangible reward during a season of remarkable revolution for Pardew's side who have punched hugely above their weight all year. It just goes to show, Jose, does it not? A little bit of hard work and devleoping a team spirit shorn of mouthy primadonas can, actually, go a very long way. The win leaves United in sixth place in the Premiership, level on points (fifty three) with fifth place Moscow Chelski FC. And ten points ahead of eighth placed Everton. Liverpool - 'a top four club' in their own heads, at least according to their ludicrous managing director, Ian Ayre - are in ninth place on forty two points, one behind their local rivals, the Toffeemen, whilst Blunderland are breathing down their necks in tenth with forty points.
Liverpool also had their goalkeeper, Pepe Reina, sent to the stands after the Spaniard tried to stick the nut on James Perch late in the game. And totally failed. Which, actually, made it even funnier. The game ended with delirious United fans chanting 'you're getting sacked in the morning' to the hapless former Toon manager scowling sour-faced, dour and miserable Dalglish whose side have now lost six of their last seven games. Trust me when I tell you, dear blog reader, they've loved it. Loved it. It also was a thoroughly rotten day for Liverpool's three former Magpies. Firstly there was José Enrique Sánchez - still unforgiven on Tyneside where he had previously been something of a cult figure, for a series of rather unwise comments which he made on Twitter after he left United in the summer. (In case you missed them, they were: 
'The club is allowing all the major players of the team to go. Seriously, do you think it is the fault of the players? This club will never again fight to be among the top six again with this policy.' The fact that, as the game started United were, actually, sixth, and Liverpool weren't, merely added to the irony.) Enrique was, therefore, booed all afternoon, subjected to chants of 'Jose Enrique/we're in the Top Six!' and 'we're in the Top Six, we're in the Top Six/you're not, you're not!' and ended the game playing in goal after Reina's thigh-slippingly funny dismissal. Andy Carroll - whom Liverpool, remember, had paid The Toon thirty five million quid for just over a year ago and now looks incapable of hitting a barn door at six feet - was also booed all afternoon, booked for a ludicrous dive in the first half in an attempt to win a penalty and get Tim Krul sent off when it would have been easier for him to score, subjected to very amusing chants of 'what a waste of money' and appeared angry and frustrated when he was withdrawn by scowling, sour-faced Dalglish fifteen minutes from time - also had a time rotten time of it. Carroll, reportedly, left 'looking close to tears [and] mouthing obscenities towards Dalglish.' Well, according to the Torygraph, anyway. One would suggest anybody who's likely to be out on the razz in The Bigg Market tonight should beware in case any glasses, you know, 'accidentally slip out of someone's hand.' It appeared an agonising experience for the two players who had left Newcastle to join an, allegedly, 'bigger club' in 2011. Enrique was tortured all afternoon by Hatem Ben Arfa whilst Carroll just looked like he was being tortured by the whole experience, failing to take two good chances in the first half, his every touch booed and jeered by 'his people.' Finally, Craig Bellamy was also booed all afternoon. Because he's a nasty, mouthy little bugger and nobody likes him very much. So, no change there then. 
To the - much - more important stuff, Cissé headed in Hatem Ben Arfa's pinpoint cross in a first-half in which Liverpool had plenty of the ball but where Tim Krul hardly had a shot to save, before the same player tapped in from Demba Ba's centre shortly after the break. A piss poor afternoon for the visitors in the Tyneside sunshine was made just that little bit worse when Reina saw red. Although James Perch - who had a superb afternoon otherwise, helping to shackle Carroll along with Man of the Match Mike Williamson - will probably have had harder impacts on his face from his pillow than from Reina's bald heed. Perch had impeded the Spaniard as he collected a Williamson header from a corner and was booked for this, rightly. But when Reina squared up to the Newcastle defender, leading with his head, referee Martin The Card Atkinson had little choice but to send the keeper off. Well, no, that's wrong. He clearly did have a choice, but he chose not to exercise it. The crowd laughed. And laughed. And laughed until they stopped. And then, they laughed some more. 
It was that sort of afternoon, frankly. Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws have now lost six of their last seven league games, their worst run in many, many years and cause for much celebration around the rest of the country. For, such is the totally high regard with which scowling, sour-faced, dour and miserable Dalglish and his team are held by other football fans. As they trooped off at the end, well beaten and with their tails between their legs, it was a moment befitting the recent woeful run for Dalglish's side whilst for the hosts, the victory was a tangible reward during a season of remarkable revolution for Pardew's side who have punched hugely above their weight all year. It just goes to show, Jose, does it not? A little bit of hard work and devleoping a team spirit shorn of mouthy primadonas can, actually, go a very long way. The win leaves United in sixth place in the Premiership, level on points (fifty three) with fifth place Moscow Chelski FC. And ten points ahead of eighth placed Everton. Liverpool - 'a top four club' in their own heads, at least according to their ludicrous managing director, Ian Ayre - are in ninth place on forty two points, one behind their local rivals, the Toffeemen, whilst Blunderland are breathing down their necks in tenth with forty points. 
