They always seem to do it the hard way. Italy earned themselves the victory they needed against an already eliminated Republic of Ireland side to go through to the last eight of Euro 2012 on a hot and steamy night in Poznan. 
Ireland started with purpose pressing the Italians high up the pitch and, for most of the first half, Giovanni Trapattoni's team played far better than they had in their previous two games put together. But, they went behind when Antonio Cassano headed in a near post Andrea Pirlo exquisite corner. An equaliser would have knocked Italy out and their keeper Gianluigi Buffon smartly saved a Keith Andrews strike. Andrews was later sent off for a second booking - getting himself in, if you will, a right paddy and kicking the ball away after his dismissal before storming off down the tunnel looking cross. Soon afterwards Mario Balotelli provided the touch of class that the game had lacked, volleying in over his shoulder from a corner to settle the tie in Italy's favour.
It's the oldest joke in football 'Jesus Saves, but [insert own team's striker] got the rebound.' Or, there was the time last year when somebody knocked on yer actual Keith Telly Topping's door and asked 'what would you do if Jesus came to Newcastle?' Yer actual Keith Telly Topping thought about this for a moment and then said, 'move Papiss Cissé to the right wing and play 4-3-3.' Anyway, roll out them all out for another round tonight as, when Spain needed a goal, they sent for Jesus. Jesús Navas scored the dramatic late winner as Spain produced a nervy and unconvincing performance to qualify for the quarter-finals of Euro 2012.
The Seville winger prodded in Andrés Iniesta's clever pass three minutes from time to break Croatia hearts and ensure the champions top Group C. Spain had been within a goal of leaving the tournament but ultimately it was Croatia who were left to book the plane tickets back to Zagreb. The world champions could now play England, France or Ukraine in the last eight.
Netherlands coach - unless he gets sacked between me writing this and you reading it, dear blog reader - Bert van Marwijk refused to answer questions about his future after the nation's vastly disappointing Euro 2012 group stage exit. Tipped as one of the pre-tournament favourites, the Dutch crashed out as a 2-1 loss against Portugal condemned them to a third straight Group B defeat. 'You can ask me all types of questions, but not about my future,' the former Feyenoord boss said. However, the sixty-year-old took full responsibility for the Portuguese loss. The beaten 2010 World Cup finalists knew they needed to beat Paulo Bento's side to stand any chance of reaching the last eight.
A surprise opening 1-0 defeat by Denmark, followed by bitter rivals Germany's 2-1 success over them in the second round of group games, left Van Marwijk's side facing an uphill battle to qualify for the knockout phase. He responded by naming attacking pair Rafael van der Vaart and Klaas-Jan Huntelaar alongside Robin van Persie in his starting eleven for the Kharkiv clash in an apparently bold attacking move. Van der Vaart's early curling strike gave the Dutch a glimmer of hope before Portugal skipper and cheating little shit Cristiano Ronaldo's brilliant double broke the Dutchie's spirit. 'We knew we had to win by a two-goal margin so we had to take that risk and go forward,' said Van Marwijk. 'Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I think we started quite well today and we scored after about ten minutes. But you saw that when we concede a goal, the uncertainty remains. If we'd scored a second, we might have been more sure of ourselves, but we didn't take our chances. We're just disappointed. It wasn't a good game at all today. I'm responsible for that and I'm disappointed.' Stottingtot Hotshots' Van der Vaart candidly admitted his team had failed in Poland and Ukraine. 'We lost three times. We were bad and we don't deserve to go through,' he said. 'We started quite well but we were playing against one of the better teams today.'
Denmark's Nicklas Bendtner has been banned for one match and fined one hundred thousand euros by UEFA for his goal celebration against Portugal. He lowered his shorts to reveal the logo of a certain betting company - one that has a name which rhymes with Daddy Glower, just in case you were wondering - on his underpants after scoring the second of his two goals in the 3-2 defeat.
'This suspension applies to the next 2014 FIFA World Cup match for which Bendtner is eligible,' said UEFA. Bendtner has three days in which to appeal. Denmark play the Czech Republic in their first World Cup qualfying game in September. After the Portugal game on 13 June, the Arse striker said: 'It is just a pair of lucky boxer shorts that I used in the first game as well and have used before the tournament. I didn't know I was breaking any rules but I am aware of that now.' That's his excuse and he's sticking to it.
BBC commentator Simon Brotherton made a right arse of himself and was the subject of a Twitter trend on Monday night. During the Spain versus Croatia match which was covered on BBC1, the broadcaster repeatedly mistook Spain's David Silva for David Villa. Although - like all these fancy dan Johnny Foreigners - their names are similar, Barcelona winger Villa is not currently in the Spanish squad due to injury. Manchester City's nippy little midfielder Silva, however, very much is. Brotherton made the error on several occasions throughout the first half of the match on BBC1, something which even yer actual Keith Telly Topping noticed.
He, however, didn't rush onto the Internet to crow about spotting such a discombobulation. (weel, until now, anyway.) Unlike many other people who, seemingly, couldn't wait to tweet about the mistake and how clever they were compared to poor old Simon and his idiot ways. Take, for instance, the football feed OptaJoke who said: 'According to the BBC, David Villa will create another seven chances during this match. Absent.' Heh. Actually, you know, that is quite funny, to be fair. FourFourTom (not his real name, one presumes, cos if it is, he really wants to have a word with his parents) added: 'Dear commentator, stop calling David Silva "David Villa". They're not the same person. Feel free to call Xabi Alonso "Ewan McGregor" though.' Hah. Yeah, okay, that's quite funny as wlel. Match of the Day host Gary Lineker (and his lovely teeth) later played down the errors, tweeting during the live show: 'Calm down everyone. Silva/Villa mix up passed on.' And Simon - normally a very good commentator, it should be noted - will, presumably, be, ahem, 'passed over' for any chance of commentating on the final. Hopefully he'll learn from his mistake and, when he's covering Aston Villa in the premiership next year, won't refer to them as Aston Silva.
Premier and Football League clubs will no longer carry advertising for the high-cost lender Wonga on their websites. The move follows a campaign by football fans, led by Northampton Town supporter Bob Ward, calling on clubs to stop carrying adverts for the lender, which charges four thousand two hundred and fourteen per cent APR for short-term online loans. More than eighty sides use a website platform carrying advertising negotiated by the league through an Internet subsidiary - last season this advertising included promotion of Wonga's loans. But a league spokesman said: 'The Football League's website advertising agreement with Wonga.com concluded at the end of the 2011-12 football season. It is not currently envisaged that this agreement will be extended.' He said the short-term deal had run from December 2011. Wonga is the highest profile of about two hundred so-called 'payday' loans firms which are the subject of an investigation by the Office of Fair Trading. High cost – or payday – lenders have attracted criticism from MPs and consumer groups for targeting low-income customers who often end up rolling over their borrowing and accruing huge charges. In March supporters from eighteen different clubs wrote an open letter to the Gruniad, calling on their sides to stop carrying Wonga advertising. Ward and Scunthorpe United supporter John Flanagan also tabled a motion to be debated at the Football Supporters Federation AGM in July 2012, asking the League and the FLi not to renew the website contract with Wonga until the payday loans industry was subject to strict controls and a cap on interest rates. Labour MP Stella Creasy, a fierce campaigner against high cost lenders which she describes as 'legal loan sharks,' called for people to join the FSF so they could vote at the AGM and 'show Wonga the red card.' Ward welcomed the announcement, saying: 'Some twelve per cent of the FLi website's demographic is under eighteen – that means one person in eight being exposed to these revolting adverts is not even an adult. The Football League and Wonga may say this is strictly a business decision but I can't help thinking that in some small way the campaign is responsible for this.' A spokesperson for Wonga said: 'We had a small advertising deal with the Football League which ended at the end of the 2011-2012 football season. We will continue to assess all opportunities and sponsorship deals for next season.' It is understood that Wonga was 'disappointed' with the new business generated by the FLi website advertising. Credit card provider Capital One, which recently announced its , is expected to start advertising through the FLi website platform in July, although the Football League and Capital One refused to confirm this. It is not the first time one of Wonga's advertising deals has ended following criticism. In January 2011 Transport for London excluded Wonga and other high cost lenders from its sponsorship deals following bad publicity of Wonga's sponsorship of free travel on New Year's Eve 2010. Wonga is a prolific advertiser on TV (featuring some gormless fat buffoon bellowing 'WONGA!' a great deal), radio and on London buses: it also sponsors two football clubs Blackpool and Heart of Midlothian and says it is 'committed to continuing these relationships.' This means it is unlikely to be the last that Wonga hears of Ward and his fellow supporters. 'There is still a payday lender involvement with football clubs so the campaign still has legs,' he said.
The woman at the centre of the sexism row involving former Sky Sports pundits Richard Keys has launched a legal action against parent company BSkyB. Louise Glass, the former partner of Sky Sports pundit Jamie Redknapp, filed legal papers at the high court in London on Thursday, seventeen months after Keys and Andy Gray lost their jobs over a series of controversial comments. Glass said in January last year that she planned to sue the broadcaster for breach of privacy and defamation. Keys resigned and his co-host Andy Gray was sacked by Sky in January 2011 after leaked footage appeared on YouTube of them making a series of lewd sexist remarks about women. Keys, now a TalkSport presenter, referred to Glass as 'it' and twice asked the former Liverpool footballer Redknapp whether he had 'smashed it.' In the leaked footage, a conversation begins with someone off camera mentioning a former girlfriend of Redknapp called Louise.
Keys asks Redknapp whether he 'smashed it' and the former player replies that he 'used to go out with her.' Although Sky Sports did not originally broadcast the footage, BSkyB-owned Sky News replayed the comments after they appeared on YouTube. Glass told the Sunday Mirra in January last year that the remarks made her feel 'awful. Richard Keys spoke of me like I was some old whore, like I was nothing. I'm not a prude, I've got a sense of humour, but the level of aggression in there was awful,' she said. 'I wasn't even a whore. I was an "it." My life has turned upside down and now I'm paying the price for their slapstick.' She added: 'I just feel that if so many people are talking about me I should tell them I'm not an "it", that it's not "banter", it's very detrimental to my character and whoever leaked that should be punished.' Keys has maintained a relatively low profile since joining TalkSport just two weeks after the Sky Sports sexism row, although he and Gray picked up a Sony award for best sports programme for their radio show last month. He apologised at the time for what he described as 'prehistoric banter.'
Ireland started with purpose pressing the Italians high up the pitch and, for most of the first half, Giovanni Trapattoni's team played far better than they had in their previous two games put together. But, they went behind when Antonio Cassano headed in a near post Andrea Pirlo exquisite corner. An equaliser would have knocked Italy out and their keeper Gianluigi Buffon smartly saved a Keith Andrews strike. Andrews was later sent off for a second booking - getting himself in, if you will, a right paddy and kicking the ball away after his dismissal before storming off down the tunnel looking cross. Soon afterwards Mario Balotelli provided the touch of class that the game had lacked, volleying in over his shoulder from a corner to settle the tie in Italy's favour.It's the oldest joke in football 'Jesus Saves, but [insert own team's striker] got the rebound.' Or, there was the time last year when somebody knocked on yer actual Keith Telly Topping's door and asked 'what would you do if Jesus came to Newcastle?' Yer actual Keith Telly Topping thought about this for a moment and then said, 'move Papiss Cissé to the right wing and play 4-3-3.' Anyway, roll out them all out for another round tonight as, when Spain needed a goal, they sent for Jesus. Jesús Navas scored the dramatic late winner as Spain produced a nervy and unconvincing performance to qualify for the quarter-finals of Euro 2012.
The Seville winger prodded in Andrés Iniesta's clever pass three minutes from time to break Croatia hearts and ensure the champions top Group C. Spain had been within a goal of leaving the tournament but ultimately it was Croatia who were left to book the plane tickets back to Zagreb. The world champions could now play England, France or Ukraine in the last eight.Netherlands coach - unless he gets sacked between me writing this and you reading it, dear blog reader - Bert van Marwijk refused to answer questions about his future after the nation's vastly disappointing Euro 2012 group stage exit. Tipped as one of the pre-tournament favourites, the Dutch crashed out as a 2-1 loss against Portugal condemned them to a third straight Group B defeat. 'You can ask me all types of questions, but not about my future,' the former Feyenoord boss said. However, the sixty-year-old took full responsibility for the Portuguese loss. The beaten 2010 World Cup finalists knew they needed to beat Paulo Bento's side to stand any chance of reaching the last eight.
A surprise opening 1-0 defeat by Denmark, followed by bitter rivals Germany's 2-1 success over them in the second round of group games, left Van Marwijk's side facing an uphill battle to qualify for the knockout phase. He responded by naming attacking pair Rafael van der Vaart and Klaas-Jan Huntelaar alongside Robin van Persie in his starting eleven for the Kharkiv clash in an apparently bold attacking move. Van der Vaart's early curling strike gave the Dutch a glimmer of hope before Portugal skipper and cheating little shit Cristiano Ronaldo's brilliant double broke the Dutchie's spirit. 'We knew we had to win by a two-goal margin so we had to take that risk and go forward,' said Van Marwijk. 'Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I think we started quite well today and we scored after about ten minutes. But you saw that when we concede a goal, the uncertainty remains. If we'd scored a second, we might have been more sure of ourselves, but we didn't take our chances. We're just disappointed. It wasn't a good game at all today. I'm responsible for that and I'm disappointed.' Stottingtot Hotshots' Van der Vaart candidly admitted his team had failed in Poland and Ukraine. 'We lost three times. We were bad and we don't deserve to go through,' he said. 'We started quite well but we were playing against one of the better teams today.'Denmark's Nicklas Bendtner has been banned for one match and fined one hundred thousand euros by UEFA for his goal celebration against Portugal. He lowered his shorts to reveal the logo of a certain betting company - one that has a name which rhymes with Daddy Glower, just in case you were wondering - on his underpants after scoring the second of his two goals in the 3-2 defeat.
'This suspension applies to the next 2014 FIFA World Cup match for which Bendtner is eligible,' said UEFA. Bendtner has three days in which to appeal. Denmark play the Czech Republic in their first World Cup qualfying game in September. After the Portugal game on 13 June, the Arse striker said: 'It is just a pair of lucky boxer shorts that I used in the first game as well and have used before the tournament. I didn't know I was breaking any rules but I am aware of that now.' That's his excuse and he's sticking to it. BBC commentator Simon Brotherton made a right arse of himself and was the subject of a Twitter trend on Monday night. During the Spain versus Croatia match which was covered on BBC1, the broadcaster repeatedly mistook Spain's David Silva for David Villa. Although - like all these fancy dan Johnny Foreigners - their names are similar, Barcelona winger Villa is not currently in the Spanish squad due to injury. Manchester City's nippy little midfielder Silva, however, very much is. Brotherton made the error on several occasions throughout the first half of the match on BBC1, something which even yer actual Keith Telly Topping noticed.
He, however, didn't rush onto the Internet to crow about spotting such a discombobulation. (weel, until now, anyway.) Unlike many other people who, seemingly, couldn't wait to tweet about the mistake and how clever they were compared to poor old Simon and his idiot ways. Take, for instance, the football feed OptaJoke who said: 'According to the BBC, David Villa will create another seven chances during this match. Absent.' Heh. Actually, you know, that is quite funny, to be fair. FourFourTom (not his real name, one presumes, cos if it is, he really wants to have a word with his parents) added: 'Dear commentator, stop calling David Silva "David Villa". They're not the same person. Feel free to call Xabi Alonso "Ewan McGregor" though.' Hah. Yeah, okay, that's quite funny as wlel. Match of the Day host Gary Lineker (and his lovely teeth) later played down the errors, tweeting during the live show: 'Calm down everyone. Silva/Villa mix up passed on.' And Simon - normally a very good commentator, it should be noted - will, presumably, be, ahem, 'passed over' for any chance of commentating on the final. Hopefully he'll learn from his mistake and, when he's covering Aston Villa in the premiership next year, won't refer to them as Aston Silva. Premier and Football League clubs will no longer carry advertising for the high-cost lender Wonga on their websites. The move follows a campaign by football fans, led by Northampton Town supporter Bob Ward, calling on clubs to stop carrying adverts for the lender, which charges four thousand two hundred and fourteen per cent APR for short-term online loans. More than eighty sides use a website platform carrying advertising negotiated by the league through an Internet subsidiary - last season this advertising included promotion of Wonga's loans. But a league spokesman said: 'The Football League's website advertising agreement with Wonga.com concluded at the end of the 2011-12 football season. It is not currently envisaged that this agreement will be extended.' He said the short-term deal had run from December 2011. Wonga is the highest profile of about two hundred so-called 'payday' loans firms which are the subject of an investigation by the Office of Fair Trading. High cost – or payday – lenders have attracted criticism from MPs and consumer groups for targeting low-income customers who often end up rolling over their borrowing and accruing huge charges. In March supporters from eighteen different clubs wrote an open letter to the Gruniad, calling on their sides to stop carrying Wonga advertising. Ward and Scunthorpe United supporter John Flanagan also tabled a motion to be debated at the Football Supporters Federation AGM in July 2012, asking the League and the FLi not to renew the website contract with Wonga until the payday loans industry was subject to strict controls and a cap on interest rates. Labour MP Stella Creasy, a fierce campaigner against high cost lenders which she describes as 'legal loan sharks,' called for people to join the FSF so they could vote at the AGM and 'show Wonga the red card.' Ward welcomed the announcement, saying: 'Some twelve per cent of the FLi website's demographic is under eighteen – that means one person in eight being exposed to these revolting adverts is not even an adult. The Football League and Wonga may say this is strictly a business decision but I can't help thinking that in some small way the campaign is responsible for this.' A spokesperson for Wonga said: 'We had a small advertising deal with the Football League which ended at the end of the 2011-2012 football season. We will continue to assess all opportunities and sponsorship deals for next season.' It is understood that Wonga was 'disappointed' with the new business generated by the FLi website advertising. Credit card provider Capital One, which recently announced its , is expected to start advertising through the FLi website platform in July, although the Football League and Capital One refused to confirm this. It is not the first time one of Wonga's advertising deals has ended following criticism. In January 2011 Transport for London excluded Wonga and other high cost lenders from its sponsorship deals following bad publicity of Wonga's sponsorship of free travel on New Year's Eve 2010. Wonga is a prolific advertiser on TV (featuring some gormless fat buffoon bellowing 'WONGA!' a great deal), radio and on London buses: it also sponsors two football clubs Blackpool and Heart of Midlothian and says it is 'committed to continuing these relationships.' This means it is unlikely to be the last that Wonga hears of Ward and his fellow supporters. 'There is still a payday lender involvement with football clubs so the campaign still has legs,' he said.
The woman at the centre of the sexism row involving former Sky Sports pundits Richard Keys has launched a legal action against parent company BSkyB. Louise Glass, the former partner of Sky Sports pundit Jamie Redknapp, filed legal papers at the high court in London on Thursday, seventeen months after Keys and Andy Gray lost their jobs over a series of controversial comments. Glass said in January last year that she planned to sue the broadcaster for breach of privacy and defamation. Keys resigned and his co-host Andy Gray was sacked by Sky in January 2011 after leaked footage appeared on YouTube of them making a series of lewd sexist remarks about women. Keys, now a TalkSport presenter, referred to Glass as 'it' and twice asked the former Liverpool footballer Redknapp whether he had 'smashed it.' In the leaked footage, a conversation begins with someone off camera mentioning a former girlfriend of Redknapp called Louise.
Keys asks Redknapp whether he 'smashed it' and the former player replies that he 'used to go out with her.' Although Sky Sports did not originally broadcast the footage, BSkyB-owned Sky News replayed the comments after they appeared on YouTube. Glass told the Sunday Mirra in January last year that the remarks made her feel 'awful. Richard Keys spoke of me like I was some old whore, like I was nothing. I'm not a prude, I've got a sense of humour, but the level of aggression in there was awful,' she said. 'I wasn't even a whore. I was an "it." My life has turned upside down and now I'm paying the price for their slapstick.' She added: 'I just feel that if so many people are talking about me I should tell them I'm not an "it", that it's not "banter", it's very detrimental to my character and whoever leaked that should be punished.' Keys has maintained a relatively low profile since joining TalkSport just two weeks after the Sky Sports sexism row, although he and Gray picked up a Sony award for best sports programme for their radio show last month. He apologised at the time for what he described as 'prehistoric banter.'
