An eighty-ninth minute 'twenty five yard screamer' from The Aston Villains' Jack Grealish gave The Villains a draw against already promoted Brighton & Hove Albinos and meant that yer actual Keith Telly Toping's beloved (though unsellable) Mapgies are the 2017 Championship Champions by but one point. Th' Toon needed to achieve a better result than The Albinos and did so thanks to a three-nil home victory against yer actual Barnsley. Ayoze Perez, Chancel Mbemba and Dwight Gayle scored for United, but it was Grealish's late strike which, ultimately, sealed The Magpies' title. It was a comfortable win for Rafael Benitez's side - yet it looked like it would not be enough to seal the top spot, after Glenn Murray's penalty had put league leaders Brighton in front at Villa Park. However, despite being down to ten-men following Nathan Baker's red card, Grealish beat Brighton's keeper David Stockdale to send The Magpies above The Seagulls in the table. Stockdale who was at fault for the goal, ironically, had used several interviews in recent weeks (like this one, for instance) to criticise those who dared to suggest that Brighton would 'bottle it' in the race for the Championship.
This blogger has to say that, normally, he loathes The Aston Villains and their notoriously fickle and angry fans and everything that they stand for. Keith Telly Topping had a couple of very bad experiences as an away fan at Villa Park in the Eighties and Nineties. They're one of a handful of clubs that he always watches for their results and wants to see lose - badly - directly because of such past indignities (others include Sheffield United, Wolverhampton Wanderings, Wigan Not-Very-Athletic and Dirty Stoke along with, needless to say, The Mackems and The Smoggies). Except for today, obviously. One also rather felt from The Albinos, it has to be said and, especially, for their manager, Chris Hughton, who still has a lot of friends in the North East after his managing Newcastle to the last time they won the Championship, in 2010 and who proved what a class act he is by congratulating Newcastle on winning the league despite his own, obvious, disappointment. Still, by a huge distance, the best two footballing sides in the Championship have gone up to the Premier League and that's the way it should be. Under Rafa The Gaffer, Newcastle brought twelve players to the club after relegation to the Championship last summer, with Matt Ritchie and Gayle moving down a division to sign five-year deals. More than fifty million smackers was spent in transfer fees durig the summer - although that was more than offset by the sales of various lazy glakes like Andros Townsend, Moussa Sissoko and Georginio Wijnaldum among others. Nevertheless, The Magpies were still under huge pressure to achieve immediate promotion - a feat which they managed with two games to spare despite losing the first two games of the season. Benitez's side have battled with Brighton throughout the season for top spot, but since The Seagulls achieved promotion on 17 April they have dropped off the pace dramatically. Ultimately it was three straight wins for Newcastle and three matches without a win for Hughton's side that told, giving Th' Toon the perfect end to the campaign.
At the bottom, the three-way fight to avoid the final relegation place was very lost by Blackburn Vindaloos, despite a three-one win at Brentford. Nottingham Forest's home victory over Ipswich and Birmingham's narrow win at Bristol City condemned the Vindaloos to life in League One next season. It was, truth be told, a bit of a bugger as to which of the three teams fighting for the last relegation place this blogger wanted to go down. He really dislikes Forest, another place where this blogger once var nigh got his head kicked in for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and, especially, after that utterly criminal alleged 'win' over our lot last December when Henri Lansbury - ironically, now playing for The Aston Villains - cheated a disgracefully incompetent referee into sending two of our lot off (both, subsequently overturned on appeal, not that this changed the result, of course). But, that said, Keith Telly Topping has a good mate who is a big Forest fan and there's still a bit of residual respect hung-over from The Cloughie Years. This blogger is, usually, okay with Birmingham ... except that they've now got Hapless Harry Redknapp as their manager. Plus, Jasper Carrott's a big fan so, you know, demotion to the National League would be too good for 'em under any normal circumstances. Blackburn Vindaloos, frankly, deserve everything they get for the outrageously poor way the club has been run by its absentee owners during the last few years. But, Matt Smith's a big fan and one would never want poor old Smudger to suffer. In the end, though, it was a bad day for Smudger.
Finally, one has to wonder if that was the real Championship trophy or whether they had two - both, presumably, replicas - one at St James and one at Villa Park in case of either eventuality?
The Football League has written to Huddersfield to 'request their observations regarding team selection' for last Saturday's two-nil defeat by Birmingham City. The Terriers made ten changes for the trip to St Andrew's having sealed a Championship play-off place, but the EFL said that the result would stand. Blackburn Vindaloos manager Tony Mowbray later questioned Huddersfield's line-up. Blackburn, who currently occupy the final relegation place, are two points behind Harry Redknapp's Blues - that's Birmingham, incidentally, not a Muddy Waters b-side - with one game to play. The EFL said in a statement: 'We have today written to Huddersfield Town to request their observations in relation to team selection during their recent Championship match with Birmingham City and, as per our regulations, the EFL executive will refer the matter to the board if it is deemed appropriate to do so. It should be noted, however, that the result of Saturday's game will stand in all circumstances and any potential action would be taken against Huddersfield Town directly.' Blackpool and Wolverhampton Wanderings were both fined for fielding much-changed teams in League matches in 2010 and 2009 respectively.
The Football Association will trial 'sin bins' in the lower leagues of English football from next season. The FA plans to introduce what it calls 'temporary dismissals' in England's step seven - six tiers below the National League - and the leagues below it. They will only apply to yellow cards shown for dissent and will see players leave the field for ten minutes to sit on The Naughty Step. It will also be tested in Sunday League and male and female youth football. More than one thousand clubs received e-mails over the weekend asking if they were willing to be part of the pilot process. What will happen to those who say no is not, at this stage, known. However, as an incentive, clubs are normally charged a ten quid fine for each yellow card they receive but the FA will not be charging this administration fee for those that participate. Step seven is the bottom level of English football's National League System, which feeds into the country's professional leagues.
Blunderland manager - for the moment, anyway - David Moyes has been given more time to respond to a Football Association charge for telling BBC reporter Vicki Sparks she might 'get a slap.' Moyes was extremely charged with bringing the game into disrepute with his comments after the game against Burnley in March. He was initially given until 6pm on 3 May to respond but the fifty four-year-old requested more time. To get his story straight, presumably. The Scot now has until 10 May to respond or to cough up to his guilt and take the punishment due like a man. Moyes' comments came after an interview in which he was asked by Vicki whether the presence of Blunderland's absentee owner, Ellis Short, in the ground had put extra pressure on Moyes. He said 'no' but, after the interview, added that Vicki 'might get a slap even though you're a woman' and that she should be 'careful' next time she visited The Stadium Of Plight. What a total hero he is, threatening a woman just for doing her job. Class act, Mister Moyes. The Mackems were battling against relegation at the time but their drop into the Championship was confirmed after a home defeat by Bournemouth on Saturday.
Meanwhile, both Blunderland and Bournemouth have both been extremely charged with failing to control their players in last Saturday's Premier League match at The Stadium Of Plight. The Football Association charge relates to an incident in the seventy sixth minute of Bournemouth's one-nil win, which saw Blunderland very relegated. The clubs 'failed to ensure that their players conducted themselves in an orderly fashion,' the FA said. They have until 6pm on 5 May to respond to the charge. Players from both sides were involved in 'an altercation' when Blunderland's Fabio Borini challenged Bournemouth defender Lewis Cook from behind. There followed a geet rive on with kids gettin' sparked and aal sorts. Borini and Bournemouth midfielder Harry Arter were shown yellow cards, the latter for his reaction to the foul.
Matias Dituro is the goalkeeper of Bolivian club Bolivar. His duty is to protect the goal, try and get clean sheets and lead his team at the back. But he can also score goals. The Argentine goalkeeper scored for his club in a win over San Jose last week by punting the ball from his own box into the open goal at the other end of the field. Take a look here.
Mind you, if you think that's good, check out Oscarine Masuluke, the goalkeeper for Baroka FC in South Africa's top-flight, scoring a quite stunning overhead kick in the ninety sixth minute of their game against Orlando Pirates. Tasty! The goalkeeper was sent forward for a late corner to try and savage something from the match, which Baroka were losing one-nil at the time. With the set piece only half cleared, Masuluke was first to the loose ball and, with his back to goal, launched himself into the air to score spectacularly.
Sky Sports really should have had a bit of a rethink concerning the abbreviations that they used for Saturday's game between Hartlepool United and Doncaster Rovers which, despite a battling two-one win, still saw the Monkey Hangers relegated from the Football League after ninety six years in residence. (This blogger is indebted to Chris Orton for both the observation and the screengrab.)
Everton winger Aaron Lennon was detained under the Mental Health Act by police over concerns for his welfare earlier in the week. The thirty-year-old was taken to hospital 'for assessment' after police were called to Salford on Sunday. Lennon is now 'receiving care and treatment for a stress-related illness,' his club has said. The England international, who joined Everton from Stottingtot Hotshots in 2015, has not played for the first team since February. Greater Manchester Police said: 'Police were called at around 4.35pm to reports of a concern for the welfare of a man on Eccles Old Road. Officers attended and a thirty-year-old man was detained under section one hundred and thirty six of the Mental Health Act and was taken to hospital for assessment.'
At the bottom, the three-way fight to avoid the final relegation place was very lost by Blackburn Vindaloos, despite a three-one win at Brentford. Nottingham Forest's home victory over Ipswich and Birmingham's narrow win at Bristol City condemned the Vindaloos to life in League One next season. It was, truth be told, a bit of a bugger as to which of the three teams fighting for the last relegation place this blogger wanted to go down. He really dislikes Forest, another place where this blogger once var nigh got his head kicked in for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and, especially, after that utterly criminal alleged 'win' over our lot last December when Henri Lansbury - ironically, now playing for The Aston Villains - cheated a disgracefully incompetent referee into sending two of our lot off (both, subsequently overturned on appeal, not that this changed the result, of course). But, that said, Keith Telly Topping has a good mate who is a big Forest fan and there's still a bit of residual respect hung-over from The Cloughie Years. This blogger is, usually, okay with Birmingham ... except that they've now got Hapless Harry Redknapp as their manager. Plus, Jasper Carrott's a big fan so, you know, demotion to the National League would be too good for 'em under any normal circumstances. Blackburn Vindaloos, frankly, deserve everything they get for the outrageously poor way the club has been run by its absentee owners during the last few years. But, Matt Smith's a big fan and one would never want poor old Smudger to suffer. In the end, though, it was a bad day for Smudger.
