Moscow Chelski FC missed out on a place in next season's Champions League after being beaten by yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle's outstanding performance on the last day of the Premier League campaign. The Blues had a slim chance of sneaking into the top four by winning against The Magpies, but defeat, plus Liverpool's victory over Brighton & Hove Albinos meant they finished fifth and must settle for a Europa League spot. Last year's champions were second best throughout the game at St James' Park and fell behind through Dwight Gayle's close-range header. A barrage at goal from the hosts forced visiting goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois to make sharp saves off the impressive Jonjo Shelvey and Mohamed Diame. But Ayoze Perez scored twice in the second period as his side finished the season in a very respectable tenth position. Moscow Chelski's best chance fell to striker Olivier Giroud, but the Frenchman's acrobatic effort was tipped away by United goalkeeper Martin Dubravka. Chelsea last played in the Europa League in the 2012-13 season, when they ended up winning the trophy under the guidance of now Newcastle boss Rafael Benitez. But the 2016-17 champions ended this poor season four places, twenty three points and twenty three goals worse off than last year. There has been much speculation about manager Antonio Conte's future at Torpedo Stamford Bridge and if it does prove to be his last league game, the Italian went out with a whimper rather than a bang. His side failed to register a single shot in the first forty five minutes and the usually passionate Italian watched on with his arms folded as his side fell apart by conceding two more after half-time. Giroud did eventually test Dubravka with an instinctive shot on fifty one minutes, while Ross Barkley - making his first Moscow Chelski FC appearance since 31 January - saw an effort kept out by the Slovak goalkeeper. Newcastle manager Benitez is another whose job is in question, not because of the team's performances but because of his relationship with the hierarchy. He said earlier this week that the club need to break their transfer record to sign a goalscorer in the summer as the sixteen million they paid Real Madrid for alleged striker The Little Shit Michael Owen thirteen years ago remains the club's record acquisition. The Newcastle supporters sang the Spaniard's name and chanted 'we want you to stay' for much of the game, ironically in front of the visiting fans who did not warm to him during his season as Moscow Chelski FC boss in 2013 because of his past at Liverpool Alabam Yee-Haws. Benitez has worked wonders on Tyneside with a squad largely made up of players who came up from the Championship last season. Perez, who ended as the club's top scorer with eight goals in the league and ten in all competitions, flicked in his first goal from Shelvey's low drive into the area. He then converted Florian Lejeune's cutback into an open net for his second. Shelvey bossed the middle of the park and his imposing showing could earn him a late call-up to the England World Cup squad, which will be named by Gareth Southgate on Wednesday. But, he probably won't. Midfield partners Mohamed Diame and Matt Ritchie were excellent too.
It has been claimed that the Premier League has 'secretly' been keeping the top six clubs apart on the opening and final weekends of the football season. According to a report published in The Times, the footballing body has 'arranged' fixtures that will ensure top teams only meet at either end of the season 'for commercial reasons.' The article claims that such shenanigans have been happening 'for years.' It is reported that the League is profiting from the fixtures, as putting the teams up against one another is thought to appeal to broadcasters and boost attendances at matches on the final weekend. The plan only recently emerged in a 'tender document' the Premier League provided to broadcasters for the 2019-22 period, though it is thought to have been an ongoing arrangement. In response, some supporters' groups have 'expressed concern' that this gives 'special treatment' and greater financial rewards to the bigger clubs. 'We are very concerned about this apparent designation of an elite group of top-six clubs,' said a spokesman for the Arsenal Supporters' Trust. The Arse are, of course, in the top six. Albeit, only just. The Football Supporters' Federation has also said that it was 'unaware' of the Premier League's arrangement.
Relegated Dirty Stoke need to look at their 'farcical' transfer dealings before signing the players needed to mount a return to the Premier League, according to their goalkeeper, Jack Butland. The Potters dropped into the second tier Championship following a home defeat by Crystal Palace last Saturday. England keeper Butland blamed 'players you cannot rely on' being signed by the club. 'The whole recruitment process needs looking at, to be honest,' he said. Meanwhile, Butland's team-mate Charlie Adam has told the BBC that 'four or five' of his team-mates have been 'getting away with murder for a long time.' Former Real Madrid forward Jese Rodriguez scored one goal in thirteen appearances during his loan spell from Paris St-Germain and has taken 'unpaid compassionate leave' for the remainder of his contract. Alleged forward Saido Berahino has started just eleven games since being signed from West Bromwich Albinos for twelve million notes in January 2017 and has never scored for the club. He is now training with the under-twenty three squad, as is defender Kevin Wimmer, an eighteen million smackers signing from Stottingtot Hotshots last summer. Record signing Giannelli Imbula, a midfielder who cost over eighteen million quid from Porto, has spent this season on loan at French side Toulouse. Meanwhile, two former Barcelona forwards, Ibrahim Afellay and Bojan Krkic, have been frozen out at the Bet365 Stadium, with the latter spending this season on loan at La Liga side Alaves. 'There's been transfers that aren't even part of the squad for all kinds of reasons, whether it be discipline, whether it be lack of performance,' Butland said. 'You've got to look at that - what decisions are being made and the type of characters.' He said midfielder Badou Ndiaye and defender Moritz Bauer, who joined in January, were 'two positive signings. But, you look at others and they're not even here to have an input. It's not because they were playing at the top of their game, because if they were they'd be here,' he continued. 'Too many of the recent investments - and over the years - are completely unused and that's unacceptable. So before anyone is signed and any changes happen that's got to be looked at because it's been farcical really.' Paul Lambert replaced Mark Hughes as manager in January following Dirty Stoke's FA Cup third round defeat at League Two Coventry City. However, Dirty Stoke have managed just one league win under the Scot. 'I believe Paul's had an extremely difficult job,' Butland said. 'He inherited a squad where, unfortunately, there was ill-discipline and players you cannot rely on. Despite those scenarios he's put together a really competitive side that's willing to work for him. I believe the manager is the right man for the job.'
Southampton boss Mark Hughes said 'the dark arts' which disrupted preparations for Tuesday's game at Swansea motivated his side to claim the victory that has all but secured Premier League safety. The squad stayed forty miles away from the Liberty Stadium after their hotel cancelled their booking at the last minute. Southampton beat Swansea thanks to Manolo Gabbiadini's late goal. 'It helped our focus. We used it as a motivating factor,' claimed Hughes. 'We suspected that maybe some of the dark arts were at work but we didn't let it affect us.' Victory lifted Southampton up to sixteenth in the table - level on thirty six points with Huddersfield - and left Swansea three points adrift of safety with one game remaining. The Marriott Hotel in Swansea defended its decision, saying that it 'cancelled large bookings' after 'some guests became ill.' Southampton stayed instead at the Vale of Glamorgan hotel near Cardiff on Monday night. Hughes added: 'I'm not for one minute suggesting Swansea had anything to do with that. Maybe it was over-zealous Swansea fans in positions to affect our hotel booking.'
England manager Gareth Southgate is considering new approaches to taking penalties at the World Cup, including whether players practise them at all. England have exited from six tournaments in penalty shootouts dating back to 1990. But England's World Cup-winning Under-Seventeens have been testing spot-kick techniques and have shared findings. They include rating the most eager takers before a game, whether takers need practice and ensuring players have several 'go-to' penalties. England begin their World Cup campaign in Russia on 18 June against Tunisia, but have lost on penalties in 1990, 1998 and 2006 tournaments. Southgate recently told an England fans forum broadcast on the Three Lions podcast: 'We have already started a couple of projects with the players and with our analysis team on successful and unsuccessful shootouts.' FA technical director Dan Ashworth said part of that would involve players being encouraged to take their time approaching the penalty spot, with research suggesting it leads to more success. But FA head of coach and player development Matt Crocker, who liaises with all England head coaches, said the under-Seventeen side had benefited from changes in approach in the space of five months. One of them was based on players saying they did not want to practise penalties every day. Crocker told BBC Sport: 'The head coaches meet once a week to discuss things like this and penalties is just one area we are looking to improve. Gareth and assistant coach Steve Holland are involved in everything that we do. They sit in on all our meetings.' Having lost the European Championship Under-Seventeen final on penalties against Spain a year ago, they tackled six key areas and beat Japan on penalties en route to their World Cup win against Spain in India last October. Crocker said the Under-Seventeen players were consulted at team meetings at the National Football Centre at St George's Park. That covered everything from whether they want to take a spot-kick through to practising more than one penalty based on the opposition goalkeepers knowing where previous penalties have been placed. 'Rather than thinking it's about the player practising penalties every day in training, some of the players told us "we don't want to practise them every day,"' Crocker said. 'Those who don't need it and just want to take it in a game, because that's their style, we tailor it specific to their needs. We then set up a loads of meetings with the players, where we said, "Here's a scale from number one and number ten. Number one is desperate to take a penalty. I thrive in that environment; I love it. Number ten was, as soon as the final whistle goes, I can't wait to be in the dressing room. It's just not me." Honestly, we asked them where they sat and some wanted to be sat in twelve or thirteen; there is a spectrum.' Crocker added: 'You have chats about four big areas. Going into extra-time, what are you thinking? Some players were saying they get nervous at the back end of extra-time because of penalties, so it's starting to affect their game. So what can we do to try and help you get better and overcome that? When the final whistle goes, it's about being organised and having a plan. We've already agreed who is responsible as a coaching staff on who is taking penalties based on the eleven left on the pitch, who is taking what and in what order. The third part is the walk - how is it going to feel? It's OK to feel nervous as hell. When you spot the ball, are you going to rush it? How do you keep your same routine and rhythm as you normally would in a game? Finally, it's your actual action in striking the ball. You might be on your third penalty of the tournament, so you might need to have more than one go-to penalty and how as a player are you going to manage those four stages? For the penalty shootout against Japan, we were organised and on the halfway line ready, while the Japanese guys were still running round with the players still deciding.'
The Russian Football Union has been fined twenty two grand for racist chants by fans in March's friendly with France. Paul Pogba, Ousmane Dembele and N'Golo Kante were said to be among those subjected to taunts in Les Bleus' three-one win over the World Cup hosts. The game was played at Krestovsky Stadium in St Petersburg, one of the host venues for this summer's event. Lord Herman Ouseley, chair of anti-racism campaign group Kick It Out, called the fine 'pitiful.' He said: 'The organisation reiterates its belief that the lack of effective action from FIFA against the issue of racism in Russian football will likely result in the further abuse of black players in matches involving the country. Ultimately, with this outcome, Kick It Out has little confidence that FIFA can effectively deal with potential incidents of racism during this summer's World Cup and protect those black players, staff and supporters who will be in attendance.' A statement from football's world governing body claimed that FIFA has 'a zero tolerance approach' to discrimination. One or two people even believed them. 'Following a thorough investigation including the review of video evidence, after analysing all the specific circumstances of the case, in particular the gravity of the incident but also the limited number of fans involved, [FIFA has] decided that the Russian Football Union was liable for a breach of article fifty eight,' it added. The issue was first reported by photographers from news agency Agence France-Presse, who said that they heard chants when players went to take corners. It is the latest in a number of incidents of discrimination linked to Russia. Earlier in March, Russia coach Stanislav Cherchesov said: 'I do not think we have racism on a scale that needs to be fought.'
Moscow Chelski FC have been extremely charged by the Football Association after players surrounded referee Lee Mason at half-time during their draw with Huddersfield Town on Wednesday. The club are charged with failing to ensure their players 'conducted themselves in an orderly fashion.' Players were reported to be 'unhappy' when Mason blew the whistle for half-time before they could take a corner.
Basaksehir's on-loan Barcelona midfielder Arda Turan has been banned for an eye-watering sixteen games in his native Turkey for pushing an assistant referee. Turan, who has one hundred caps for Turkey, was very sent-off after confronting the official towards the end of his side's Super Lig draw with Sivaspor last week. Basaksehir were leading one-nil at the time but conceded a late equaliser after being reduced to nine men. The thirty one-year-old was also fined thirty nine thousand Turkish lira. And, told to grow the Hell up. Probably. Turan shoved the official with both hands after being unhappy with a decision and he continued his protest after being shown a straight red card. He was banned for ten matches for attacking the assistant referee, three matches for insulting him and another three for threatening him. Turan joined Basaksehir on a two-and-a-half-season loan deal in January having struggled for first-team opportunities at Barcelona following his twenty four million knicker move from Atletico Madrid in July 2015. Third-place Basaksehir are challenging for their first Super Lig title and are three points behind leaders Galatasaray with two games remaining.
Tommy Charlton is set to become the fourth member of his family to represent his country when he plays for England's over-sixties walking football team. The seventy two-year-old is the younger brother of Manchester United legend Sir Bobby and Leeds' Jack. In addition, their mother's cousin, Jackie Milburn also played thirteen times for England in the 1950s. Tommy will make his England debut as the first-ever walking football internationals are played on Sunday. 'I never in a million years thought I'd follow in the footsteps of my brothers and represent England,' Tommy said. The grandfather of six was just twenty when he watched his two elder brothers help England beat West Germany in the 1966 World Cup final but he was forced to retire from amateur football aged twenty four because of injury. He now plays for the Mature Millers walking football club in Rotherham and earned his own international call-up after impressing during a trial at Burnley in March. He is joined in the over-sixties squad by Alan Kennedy who won two European Cups with Liverpool, while an over-fifties side also faces Italy, with both games at Brighton's Amex Stadium. 'I was shocked when I got the call, but am delighted to be in the squad,' Tommy added. 'There are so many good walking footballers in this country and it will be an honour to play alongside them against a strong Italian side. When I get my boots and the England strip on I'm sure it will be a great feeling. I just hope we can put in a good performance against Italy and impress the fans who come out to watch us.' Walking football is played in thirty five countries and there are now over eleven hundred clubs and an estimated thirty five thousand players participating in the UK. As well as no running, there is either no or minimal physical contact permitted while there are over-head height restrictions and indirect free-kicks.
Tranmere Rovers battled for almost the entire game with ten men to beat Boreham Wood and return to the English Football League after three years away. There was drama early on as Tranmere's Liam Ridehalgh was sent off within forty eight seconds after putting in a rash two-footed challenge on Ricky Shakes. Tranmere took the lead when Andy Cook headed James Norwood's cross but Bruno Andrade side-footed home to equalise. Norwood headed home with ten minutes left to seal promotion for Rovers. Rovers were relegated from the English Football League in 2015, ending a ninety four-year spell in England's top four divisions and had been in the third tier as recently as 2014. They have finished second in the National League for two seasons in a row, but fell agonisingly short of promotion last season with defeat at Wembley to Forest Green. It looked as though Micky Mellon's side could be facing more disappointment when Ridehalgh was dismissed, but Cook's sixth-minute opener gave them a huge boost. Boreham Wood, who were in the seventh-tier Isthmian League Premier Division just eight years ago, have never been out of the non-league pyramid in their seventy-year history. But they were given hope when Andrade found space to level seven minutes into first-half stoppage time. Rovers, who were forced to make their third and final substitution before half-time when Ritchie Sutton was injured, had to work hard to claw back the lead. Connor Jennings came on for Tranmere just ten days after being discharged from hospital following an illness - and it was the twenty six-year-old's cross which set up Norwood's winner as they sealed a hard-fought return to league football at the third time of asking. The result marked the end of a remarkable campaign for Boreham Wood who had been led to their highest-ever league finish and best FA Cup run this season under thirty two-year-old manager Luke Garrard.
