League One Gillingham produced the biggest shock in Saturday's FA Cup Third Round as they beat Premier League Cardiff City, whilst Championship Bristol City knocked out the top flight's bottom club, Huddersfield Town. Holders Moscow Chelski FC, thirteen-time winners The Arse and The Scum were amongst the sides to make it through to Monday's Fourth Round draw. Two Championship teams - East Anglian rivals at that - suffered defeats at the hands of opponents from lower divisions, with Norwich beaten one-nil at home by Andre Green's late goal for Portsmouth and Accrington Stanley overcoming Ipswich Town through Billy Kee's strike. Elliott List was the hero with an eighty first-minute winner as Gillingham, nineteenth in the third tier, beat the 2008 finalists Cardiff, currently seventeen in the Premier League table. Huddersfield were knocked out by Josh Brownhill's seventy second-minute winner as Bristol City, who reached the semi-finals of the League Cup last season, also made it through. Alvaro Morata scored twice as Moscow Chelski FC beat Championship side Nottingham Forest 2-0. Cesc Fàbregas, who is reported to be joining Monaco in the January transfer window, missed a first-half penalty. There was no upset at Bloomfield Road, where The Arse overcame League One Blackpool three-nil, with two goals scored from nineteen-year-old Joe Willock and another by Alex Iwobi. The attendance of a fraction under nine thousand - including over five thousand Gunners fans - was well below capacity as home supporters reportedly stayed away in protest against Tangerines owner, Owen Oyston. A penalty by Juan Mata - awarded after consulting the video assistant referee - and Romelu Lukaku's third goal in as many games proved enough for The Scum as they beat Reading two-nil at Old Trafford.
There was no 'romance of the cup' as Third Round weekend began on Friday evening with Stottingtot Hotshots giving Tranmere Rovers a right good trousers-down seven-nil hiding at Prenton Park. One of the major shocks of the Third Round occurred at St James' Park where, almost beyond belief, yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies are still in the competition. Although, only just after an awful display against Championship opposition. Former Gillingham midfielder Bradley Dack put Blackburn Vindaloos ahead at Newcastle, fifteenth in the Premier League, before the home side forced a replay at Ewood Park with Matt Ritchie's late penalty. League Two Grimsby were minutes away from earning a replay against Crystal Palace - despite playing with ten men for eighty eight minutes after Andrew Fox was sent off - before Jordan Ayew struck with a late winner for the Premiership side. Nathan Redmond had put Southampton two-nil up against Derby County, but Frank Lampard's Championship side fought back with Tom Lawrence scoring the equaliser to earn a replay at St Mary's. Everton survived a scare against League Two leaders Lincoln City to win their first FA Cup tie since March 2016, with Ademola Lookman and Bernard giving the Toffees a two-one win. The first goal of Saturday was scored by Marko Arnautovic against Birmingham City and it set West Hamsters United on their way to a two-nil win, with Andy Carroll also on the scoresheet and Samir Nasri making his The Hamsters debut. Brighton & Hove Albinos triumphed in the all-Premier League battle at Bournemouth - two goals in the space of three first-half minutes by Anthony Knockaert and Yves Bissouma setting Chris Hughton's side up for a three-one victory. League One Barnsley were moments away from a replay at Premier League Burnley but the hosts were awarded a ninetieth-minute penalty, allowing Chris Wood to send The Clarets through. Earlier in the tie, Burnley had a penalty decision overruled by VAR just as Matej Vydra was about to take the spot-kick. Elsewhere, Shrewsbury - sixteenth in League One - took the lead at home to Championship side Stoke City through Oliver Norburn's penalty. However, thirty seven-year-old gangling beanpole Peter Crouch, an FA Cup winner with Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws in 2006, earned The Potters a replay with a seventy eighth-minute equaliser, a mere four minutes after coming on as a substitute. Wigan Not Very Ahtletic, quarter-finalists last season after knocking out Sheikh Yer Man City, fell at the first hurdle this time around after Bakary Sako's goal helped West Bromwich Albinos win an all-Championship tie at The Hawthorns. League One Luton Town earned a replay after holding Championship side Sheffield Wednesday to a goalless draw at Hillsborough. Swansea City came out on top in their all-Championship tie with Aston Villains winning three-nil, whilst Middlesbrough Smog Monsters thrashed League One Peterborough five-nil. Elsewhere Notlob Wanderings beat Walsall five-two, Brentford were one-nil winners against League One strugglers Oxford United and AFC Wimbledon beat Fleetwood Mac three-two in an all-League One match-up. And, can now go their own way into the Fourth Round.
Non-league Barnet stunned Championship high-flyers Sheffield United and League Two club Oldham Not Very Ahtletic knocked out Premier League side Poor Bloody Fulham as Sunday's FA Cup third-round fixtures delivered more shocks. National League side Barnet had not reached this stage of the competition since 2008 and, on that occasion, they secured a spot in the Fourth Round - it was a case of history repeating at Bramall Lane. The Bees held on for more than seventy five minutes for their one-nil win after Stottingtot Hotshots academy graduate Shaq Coulthirst had given them the lead from the spot. Oldham, three-time semi-finalists, fought from a goal down to beat The Cottagers two-one in a match that was incident-packed in the final fourteen minutes. Denis Odoi gave Fulham the lead shortly after the interval before Sam Surridge levelled from the spot. Claudio Ranieri's side were then awarded a penalty after Tom Cairney had been fouled - VAR confirmed referee Anthony Taylor's decision despite there appearing to have been little contact made by Christopher Missilou. Substitute Aleksandar Mitrovic missed the spot-kick before Callum Lang headed in what proved to be the winner for Oldham in the eighty eighth minute. Any idea of a Cup upset at The Etihad Stadium was extinguished in the first half as Sheikh Yer Man City scored three times against struggling Championship side Rotherham. Phil Foden's goal received the biggest cheer from the home support, it was his first at the ground. City scored four more after the break as they ran out seven-nil winners in a ruthless display. Veteran football commentator Martin Tyler was marching the touchline at The Laithwaite Community Stadium, along with manager Alan Dowson but the pair could not guide the National League South side Woking to a shock win over Premier League visitors Watford, who secured a two-nil victory. Tyler, a lifelong Cards fan who joined as a volunteer coach when Dowson was appointed in May, took the role of Assistant Manager on Sunday. League One Doncaster reached the Fourth Round for the first time since 2010 with a three-one win at Championship club Preston Both Ends. Substitute Shane Ferguson came off the bench to score twice in the final ten minutes as Millwall knocked fellow Championship side Hull City out with a two-one win. And Dirty Leeds will now have to solely focus on their bid for promotion to the Premier League as they succumbed to a two-one defeat by play-off hopefuls Queen's Park Strangers.
And, in what was undoubtedly the match of the round - the BBC were surely delighted to have picked it for their Sunday live game - last year's giant killers Newport County did it again, this time beating Leicester City two-one in a pulsating, end-to-end cracker at Rodney Parade. Rachid Ghezzal's twenty yard screamer ten minutes from time appeared to have given Leicester a draw, cancelling out Jamille Matt's first-half header from Robbie Willmott's pinpoint cross. But, just three minutes later Marc Albrighton handled in the box and Pádraig Amond scored from the spot to send County through to the Fourth Round for the second year running.
Rotund, beardy Cockney wideboy Martin Samuel wrote an article in the Daily Scum Mail on Friday, in what appeared to many Newcastle United fans to be a suspiciously conveniently-timed story given that season ticket cancellations are currently a distinct possible: 'Peter Kenyon's bid to buy Newcastle is not over and he has contacted Mike Ashley personally with a promise to resume negotiations this month,' Samuel alleged. 'It was thought that the consortium led by Kenyon had given up on the deal, having failed to find' the three hundred million knicker funding 'required to tempt Newcastle's owner to sell.' But, a letter sent by Kenyon shortly before Christmas and 'seen by Sportsmail, makes it plain' that 'discussions will continue and the sale is still on' - with the former Moscow Chelski FC and The Scum executive allegedly in pole position. 'Sent via the club for Ashley's personal attention' - so, exactly how Samuel and the Scum Mail got hold of a copy is a question which is probably well worth asking at this juncture - Kenyon allegedly writes of 'a serious determination to finalise the agreement we have as soon as possible in the New Year.' He allegedly adds: 'I would like to personally assure you that I am committed to conclude our deal as soon as possible we are both perhaps frustrated that we have not progressed as quickly as we would have wished.' Ashley is 'coming under increasing pressure to sell,' Samuel writes although quite how that situation is any different from the majority of the previous nine or ten years is, again, worth pondering, 'with eight fans' groups writing a joint letter this week imploring him to conclude any deal swiftly, or invest transfer funds in the January window.' Which, clearly, he has absolutely no intention whatsoever of doing. 'There has been increasing scepticism on Tyneside that talk of selling is merely a - not particularly cunning - ruse by the owner to quell growing protests, Samuel adds, realistically. 'A television interview that Ashley gave recently has been dismissed as a PR exercise to get the fans off his back, with claims that he is resistant to any sale.' There were reports before Christmas that Kenyon's consortium, which allegedly includes former Sheikh Yer Man City chief executive Garry Cook, were 'as much as one-third short of the asking price' - a figure in the region of one hundred million smackers. 'Yet what also emerges from Kenyon's letter.' Samuel claims, 'is that negotiations are long-standing and he remains Ashley’s preferred bidder. While not yet at an exclusivity stage, Kenyon certainly appears to have progressed further than a previous suitor, Amanda Staveley, whose takeover Ashley ultimately dismissed as "a waste of time." In contrast, Kenyon writes: "I am delighted you think the investor group led by myself is the best fit. We have both spent many months discussing the parameters of a final deal and have also invested heavily in time and money on our various legal and financial advisors." Kenyon concludes by thanking Ashley for his patience, with a hope for further negotiations in the new year.' The problem, once again Samuel notes, 'is in the timing. If Kenyon's deal cannot be completed before the January transfer window closes - and, for all the good intentions, there is nothing in the letter to suggest it will be - this still leaves Newcastle in limbo, with Ashley unlikely to invest further if he is selling and any new investor unable to raise sufficient funds in time to make the necessary short-term impact.' This 'update' on the alleged takeover has been met by all kinds of reactions on Tyneside including disbelief, optimism, pessimism and hollow laughter. Samuel, it should be noted, has considerable form where Ashley is concerned. On a number of occasions the journalist has backed up the club's owner in print and attacked Newcastle fans at the same time. And as ever, dear blog reader, it's always worth remembering the golden rule when it comes to the possibility of seeing your football club taken over from a current - much disliked - regime. Be careful what you wish for, it might just come true. Many clubs - Newcastle included - have been down this road before, dear blog reader and, whilst there have been a few notable success stories, the disasters far outweigh those that have worked out.
The Football Association is 'asking people to come forward with information' after an unnamed England player was reported to have been 'kicked out of a nightclub for taking cocaine.' The allegation was allegedly snitched to the Sun newspaper, allegedly by an alleged - though suspiciously anonymous and, therefore, possibly fictitious - 'club insider.' The paper alleges that the Premier League player took the drug during a pre-Christmas 'team get-together' after an away game. The FA can ban any players found to have breached its social drugs policy. The starting point for a first time offence is up to three months and the FA has the power to suspend players indefinitely if they have breached the rules multiple times. Incidents of doping in English football are 'rare' the FA claims, but the governing body insists it 'remains a priority for The FA to find and sanction anyone found taking performance-enhancing or recreational drugs.' And, that's why they want someone to grass up the alleged individual allegedly with sniffing the cake involved like a dirty, stinking Copper's Nark. An FA spokesman added: 'We encourage anyone with information about any anti-doping violation in football to report it to The FA.'
Craig Bellamy has temporarily stepped down from his role as Cardiff City Under-Eighteens coach following the club's decision to investigate a bullying claim made against him. The investigation follows reports of a complaint about the former Norwich City, Coventry City, Newcastle United, Glasgow Celtic, Blackburn Vindaloos, Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws, West Hamsters United, Sheikh Yer Man City and Wales striker's alleged treatment of a young player, who has since left the club. Bellamy denies the allegations. 'I categorically refute them. I fully expect to return to my coaching role and have sought legal advice,' he said. Cardiff City have not yet commented on the allegations or responded to Bellamy's denial of them. In a statement Bellamy added: 'I am aware of allegations that have been made against me via the media. I understand the need for Cardiff City to undertake a full investigation in response to these allegations and - at my own suggestion - I have temporarily removed myself from my coaching position in order to cooperate fully with the club's inquiry. Obviously, I am saddened both by the allegations and the manner in which they were made.' Bellamy had what might, charitably, be described as 'a colourful career' as a player on several occasions leaving clubs under something of a cloud for a variety of different reasons - including allegedly feigning an injury and refusing to play in a game whilst at Newcastle, attacking his Liverpool teammate John Arne Rise with a golf club (an incident which earned him the nickname 'the nutter with the putter') and making disparaging comments in public about former clubs and teammates ... on a regular basis. In 2010, whilst playing for Sheikh Yer Man City in the Manchester derby against The Scum Bellamy was struck by a coin thrown by someone in the crowd. Greater Manchester police later stated that they had narrowed down a list of suspects to 'everyone who's ever met him.'
Swansea City may play in English football's second tier but they are 'charging parents Premier League prices for children to be mascots' according to a rather shitehawk 'Shock! Horror! Pictures!' 'exclusive' by the BBC Sports website. As if anybody with half-a-brain in their head actually gives a stuff about such nonsense. It reportedly costs 'up to' four hundred and seventy eight knicker for a match-day 'mascot package' at the Championship club, 'research' by BBC Wales found. So, in that case, don't pay it and don't let your child be a mascot, what's the problem? Only three teams in the Premier League charge more than Swansea, while the experience is free at most of the top clubs - including, astonishingly, this blogger's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies. Although, one imagines the second Mike Ashley discovers there's good money to be made from the gullible parents of desperate young boys, that'll sharp change. Swansea's local rivals Cardiff City charge two hundred and fifty five pounds. Swansea said that prices were 'reduced' this year following relegation so Christ only knows what they were making punters pay last year. Consumer groups have 'branded' (that's tabloidese for 'described' only with less syllables) the higher prices as 'outrageous.' Most normal people couldn't care less. 'For many youngsters, the chance to walk out onto the pitch with their football heroes is a dream come true,' the BBC sneer. 'Indeed many clubs tell parents the package is the "ultimate gift your child will never forget."' Yet while many of the biggest clubs in the country, including Premier League champions Sheikh Yer Man City, The Scum, Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws, The Arse, Moscow Chelski FC, Everton and, just to repeat because it is, frankly, a Hell of a surprise to pretty much everyone, Newcastle United, do not charge for the opportunity, others are cashing in more than seven hundred smackers per child. And, we're supposed to be what, outraged? Naff off, there are actual, real, important things in the world to get angry about rather than this sort of nonsense. Most packages include a full kit, match tickets, photographs and autographs as well as walking onto the pitch with the team before kick-off. But a two hundred and seventy quid deal at Fulham does not include kit while a one hundred and eighty five knicker package at Bournemouth does not come with a ticket to the game. So, you can go out on the pitch with the team before the game at Dean Court but, unless your dad coughs up for a ticket, then you get yer ass slung out of the gaff before the referee's even blown the whistle. Harsh! Martyn James, of the consumer website Resolver, who clearly hasn't got anything more important to do with his time, said: 'It's absolutely outrageous that some richer kids can effectively buy their way to the top of the mascot list. When I was younger, being a mascot was a reward for super loyalty or for having been through a great deal. Charging any money for these packages is unacceptable - and it's pretty unknown too.' Well, not now, it isn't. 'It makes a mockery of all the things that our national game is supposed to represent.' What, like greed and a desperate need make lifelong supporters part with as much money as possible before they get pissed off, give up and spend their match day's watching Sky Soccer Saturday instead? Hate to break it to you, Martyn, but that sounds exactly like 'all of the things our national game is supposed to represent.' This is the Twenty First Century, mate, not 1953. Supporters on various fan Interweb forums have 'slammed' (that's 'criticised' only will less syllables) the prices as 'unfair' and 'scandalous'. Although, to repeat, they are only those things if you are actually dumb enough to pay the prices changed. If nobody did that, one imagines, the prices for such packages would rapidly tumble. Swansea claimed the 'truly once in a lifetime experience' includes four hospitality places, a meal and half-time penalty competition on the pitch. Plus, watching Swansea City playing a second division match, obviously. Definitely 'once in a lifetime.' A spokesman added: 'We've reduced prices this year following relegation, from four hundred and fifty pounds plus VAT to three hundred and ninety nine pounds plus VAT for weekend, and three hundred and forty nine pounds plus VAT for weekday matches. We also give one space free to charity every match and this was brought in this season.' Mascots at the likes of Moscow Chelski FC, Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws, The Arse and The Scum are reportedly 'picked at random' from their junior fan club and are free. Cardiff City offers the chance for children aged between four and ten to 'turn dream into reality' for a mere two hundred and fifty five knicker and have sold out for many of their most popular home fixtures. Clubs have been 'urged' to 'find a good deal' for fans. Although, quite why they would do that when they've shown no inclination to do so or anything even remotely like it in the past is not, at this time, known. The Football Supporters' Federation whinged: 'Clubs should speak to their supporters about what they think represents a good deal for parents and if fans have specific concerns, we'd be happy to look into it. Our campaign focus will primarily remain on affordable ticket prices - particularly fair concessionary and fair young adult prices.' Yeah. And, how's that going, lads? Let us, once again dear blog reader, simply stand up and salute the utter shite that some people chose to care about!
This blogger has asked this question before, dear blog reader, but it bears repeating in light of the previous non-story. Can you remember the exact moment when football began to lose its soul? For yer actual Keith Telly Topping it occurred at some point in the mid-afternoon of 12 May 1990, the date of that year's FA Cup Final. For those who don't remember, the final itself was actually a terrific game between The Scum and Crystal Palace which ended in a three-three draw, but the day had already been soured for this blogger by events from an hour or so earlier. In those days the Cup Final was still a big deal and was covered extensively by both BBC1 and ITV. During the course of the BBC's six hour plus coverage, an interview took place between the late Tony Gubba and Palace's then owner the, now also late, Ron Noades. I dare say there will be quite a few younger dear blog readers who won't even remember who Noades was so, for you, a brief history lesson. Noades was a multi-millionaire who had made his money in developing golf courses before getting involved in football and becoming owner, firstly, of Wimbledon and then of the Palace (and, later, Brentford). 
He was, in those days, something of a controversial figure, one of the first of a new breed of media-savvy, full-of-their-own-importance owner-chairman who seemed to relish the limelight in a way that few of the dull grey boardroom men of previous generations ever had and were to be found getting their boat-races on telly as often, if not more often, than the managers they employed. Of course, these days, where our clubs are mostly owned by a series of very shady figures - floggers of mucky books or cheap sports gear, Russian oligarchs who used to be in the KGB, Arab oil billionaires or American or Indian or Malaysian absentee landlords - a figure like Ron actually seems rather tame by comparison. But, nevertheless, in 1990, he was known for his outspoken pontificating on all manner of subjects in front of the cameras and, thus, the Beeb felt an interview with him during the course of Cup Final Grandstand would probably be value for money. And, they were right. During the interview, Gubba asked Noades a fairly straightforward question about how the Palace owner responded to criticism of the way in which he ran the club from the supporters who, after all, paid their money through the turnstiles. Didn't they deserve a say in the way in which their money was being spent, on players rather than corporate boxes for example? Noades's reply is etched onto this blogger's memory: 'Gone are the days,' he began, 'where supporters can makes those sort of demands of chairmen because they pay the players' wages.' He went on to explain that match day receipts at Palace - and, therefore, he presumed at other clubs - now only accounted for about half of the income which a football club depended upon (this blogger believes the exact figure he quoted was fifty five per cent, the rest being made up by external merchandising, sponsorship and other commercial activities). Now, remember, this was 1990, two full years before the first Sky TV deal was done which would make that situation a million times worse over the course of the next three decades. 
This blogger can remember being astounded by what Noades was saying; effectively suggesting that paying football supporters were perceived to be less important by those who ran their clubs than the number of replica shirts they could flog in the Far East. 'You might well be right, Ron,' yer actual Keith Telly Topping thought to himself. 'But I'll tell you what, I'll bet you and all of the other wideboys that run our clubs would, collectively, shite in your own pants and run a mile if, next Saturday, no one turned up at any football ground in this country.' Of course, that will never happen, our fandom ultimately works against us in this regard. But, that was the first moment where the mask, momentarily, slipped and many football fans realised the true level of utter contempt with which they, as consumers, were held by those in charge of this game we all love. And that's the reason why this blogger finds himself wholly unable to get all worked up about Swansea and others clubs charging such a massive wedge of coin to children to be their mascot. On a list of 'things that are hideously, obscenely wrong with football' dear blog reader, sadly, that's not even in the top twenty.
There was no 'romance of the cup' as Third Round weekend began on Friday evening with Stottingtot Hotshots giving Tranmere Rovers a right good trousers-down seven-nil hiding at Prenton Park. One of the major shocks of the Third Round occurred at St James' Park where, almost beyond belief, yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies are still in the competition. Although, only just after an awful display against Championship opposition. Former Gillingham midfielder Bradley Dack put Blackburn Vindaloos ahead at Newcastle, fifteenth in the Premier League, before the home side forced a replay at Ewood Park with Matt Ritchie's late penalty. League Two Grimsby were minutes away from earning a replay against Crystal Palace - despite playing with ten men for eighty eight minutes after Andrew Fox was sent off - before Jordan Ayew struck with a late winner for the Premiership side. Nathan Redmond had put Southampton two-nil up against Derby County, but Frank Lampard's Championship side fought back with Tom Lawrence scoring the equaliser to earn a replay at St Mary's. Everton survived a scare against League Two leaders Lincoln City to win their first FA Cup tie since March 2016, with Ademola Lookman and Bernard giving the Toffees a two-one win. The first goal of Saturday was scored by Marko Arnautovic against Birmingham City and it set West Hamsters United on their way to a two-nil win, with Andy Carroll also on the scoresheet and Samir Nasri making his The Hamsters debut. Brighton & Hove Albinos triumphed in the all-Premier League battle at Bournemouth - two goals in the space of three first-half minutes by Anthony Knockaert and Yves Bissouma setting Chris Hughton's side up for a three-one victory. League One Barnsley were moments away from a replay at Premier League Burnley but the hosts were awarded a ninetieth-minute penalty, allowing Chris Wood to send The Clarets through. Earlier in the tie, Burnley had a penalty decision overruled by VAR just as Matej Vydra was about to take the spot-kick. Elsewhere, Shrewsbury - sixteenth in League One - took the lead at home to Championship side Stoke City through Oliver Norburn's penalty. However, thirty seven-year-old gangling beanpole Peter Crouch, an FA Cup winner with Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws in 2006, earned The Potters a replay with a seventy eighth-minute equaliser, a mere four minutes after coming on as a substitute. Wigan Not Very Ahtletic, quarter-finalists last season after knocking out Sheikh Yer Man City, fell at the first hurdle this time around after Bakary Sako's goal helped West Bromwich Albinos win an all-Championship tie at The Hawthorns. League One Luton Town earned a replay after holding Championship side Sheffield Wednesday to a goalless draw at Hillsborough. Swansea City came out on top in their all-Championship tie with Aston Villains winning three-nil, whilst Middlesbrough Smog Monsters thrashed League One Peterborough five-nil. Elsewhere Notlob Wanderings beat Walsall five-two, Brentford were one-nil winners against League One strugglers Oxford United and AFC Wimbledon beat Fleetwood Mac three-two in an all-League One match-up. And, can now go their own way into the Fourth Round.
Non-league Barnet stunned Championship high-flyers Sheffield United and League Two club Oldham Not Very Ahtletic knocked out Premier League side Poor Bloody Fulham as Sunday's FA Cup third-round fixtures delivered more shocks. National League side Barnet had not reached this stage of the competition since 2008 and, on that occasion, they secured a spot in the Fourth Round - it was a case of history repeating at Bramall Lane. The Bees held on for more than seventy five minutes for their one-nil win after Stottingtot Hotshots academy graduate Shaq Coulthirst had given them the lead from the spot. Oldham, three-time semi-finalists, fought from a goal down to beat The Cottagers two-one in a match that was incident-packed in the final fourteen minutes. Denis Odoi gave Fulham the lead shortly after the interval before Sam Surridge levelled from the spot. Claudio Ranieri's side were then awarded a penalty after Tom Cairney had been fouled - VAR confirmed referee Anthony Taylor's decision despite there appearing to have been little contact made by Christopher Missilou. Substitute Aleksandar Mitrovic missed the spot-kick before Callum Lang headed in what proved to be the winner for Oldham in the eighty eighth minute. Any idea of a Cup upset at The Etihad Stadium was extinguished in the first half as Sheikh Yer Man City scored three times against struggling Championship side Rotherham. Phil Foden's goal received the biggest cheer from the home support, it was his first at the ground. City scored four more after the break as they ran out seven-nil winners in a ruthless display. Veteran football commentator Martin Tyler was marching the touchline at The Laithwaite Community Stadium, along with manager Alan Dowson but the pair could not guide the National League South side Woking to a shock win over Premier League visitors Watford, who secured a two-nil victory. Tyler, a lifelong Cards fan who joined as a volunteer coach when Dowson was appointed in May, took the role of Assistant Manager on Sunday. League One Doncaster reached the Fourth Round for the first time since 2010 with a three-one win at Championship club Preston Both Ends. Substitute Shane Ferguson came off the bench to score twice in the final ten minutes as Millwall knocked fellow Championship side Hull City out with a two-one win. And Dirty Leeds will now have to solely focus on their bid for promotion to the Premier League as they succumbed to a two-one defeat by play-off hopefuls Queen's Park Strangers.
And, in what was undoubtedly the match of the round - the BBC were surely delighted to have picked it for their Sunday live game - last year's giant killers Newport County did it again, this time beating Leicester City two-one in a pulsating, end-to-end cracker at Rodney Parade. Rachid Ghezzal's twenty yard screamer ten minutes from time appeared to have given Leicester a draw, cancelling out Jamille Matt's first-half header from Robbie Willmott's pinpoint cross. But, just three minutes later Marc Albrighton handled in the box and Pádraig Amond scored from the spot to send County through to the Fourth Round for the second year running.
He was, in those days, something of a controversial figure, one of the first of a new breed of media-savvy, full-of-their-own-importance owner-chairman who seemed to relish the limelight in a way that few of the dull grey boardroom men of previous generations ever had and were to be found getting their boat-races on telly as often, if not more often, than the managers they employed. Of course, these days, where our clubs are mostly owned by a series of very shady figures - floggers of mucky books or cheap sports gear, Russian oligarchs who used to be in the KGB, Arab oil billionaires or American or Indian or Malaysian absentee landlords - a figure like Ron actually seems rather tame by comparison. But, nevertheless, in 1990, he was known for his outspoken pontificating on all manner of subjects in front of the cameras and, thus, the Beeb felt an interview with him during the course of Cup Final Grandstand would probably be value for money. And, they were right. During the interview, Gubba asked Noades a fairly straightforward question about how the Palace owner responded to criticism of the way in which he ran the club from the supporters who, after all, paid their money through the turnstiles. Didn't they deserve a say in the way in which their money was being spent, on players rather than corporate boxes for example? Noades's reply is etched onto this blogger's memory: 'Gone are the days,' he began, 'where supporters can makes those sort of demands of chairmen because they pay the players' wages.' He went on to explain that match day receipts at Palace - and, therefore, he presumed at other clubs - now only accounted for about half of the income which a football club depended upon (this blogger believes the exact figure he quoted was fifty five per cent, the rest being made up by external merchandising, sponsorship and other commercial activities). Now, remember, this was 1990, two full years before the first Sky TV deal was done which would make that situation a million times worse over the course of the next three decades. 
This blogger can remember being astounded by what Noades was saying; effectively suggesting that paying football supporters were perceived to be less important by those who ran their clubs than the number of replica shirts they could flog in the Far East. 'You might well be right, Ron,' yer actual Keith Telly Topping thought to himself. 'But I'll tell you what, I'll bet you and all of the other wideboys that run our clubs would, collectively, shite in your own pants and run a mile if, next Saturday, no one turned up at any football ground in this country.' Of course, that will never happen, our fandom ultimately works against us in this regard. But, that was the first moment where the mask, momentarily, slipped and many football fans realised the true level of utter contempt with which they, as consumers, were held by those in charge of this game we all love. And that's the reason why this blogger finds himself wholly unable to get all worked up about Swansea and others clubs charging such a massive wedge of coin to children to be their mascot. On a list of 'things that are hideously, obscenely wrong with football' dear blog reader, sadly, that's not even in the top twenty. 
