This blogger is not sure that he's ever had a really nice dream which has lasted as long as three months. But, seriously, he really does need to wake up now. After all, there's school tomorrow ...
Leicester City midfielder James Maddison has been included in England's twenty six-man squad for the forthcoming World Cup in Qatar. Gareth Southgate has also picked The Scum's Marcus Rashford and this blogger's beloved (and now, mercifully, sold) Magpies in-form striker Callum Wilson, Sheikh Yer Man City full-back Kyle Walker and The Arse's defender Ben White. But AC Milan centre-back Fikayo Tomori, Brentford striker Ivan Toney and West Hamsters United forward Jarrod Bowen missed out. England face Iran in their World Cup opener on 21 November. They are joined in Group B by Welsh Wales and the United States of America. Sheikh Yer Man City midfielder Kalvin Phillips, despite only recently returning from two months out with a shoulder problem, is also in the squad, as is centre-back Harry Maguire, who has struggled to get a game for The Scum this season. The full England squad is: Goalkeepers: Jordan Pickford (Everton), Nick Pope (Newcastle United), Aaron Ramsdale (The Arse). Defenders: Harry Maguire (The Scum), Luke Shaw (The Scum), Eric Dier (Stottingtot Hotshots) John Stones (Shiekh Yer Man City), Kyle Walker (Sheikh Yer Man City), Kieran Trippier (Newcastle United), Conor Coady (Everton), Ben White (The Arse), Trent Alexander-Arnold (Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws). Midfielders: Jude Bellingham (Borussia Dortmund), Mason Mount (The club formerly known as Moscow Chelski FC), Conor Gallagher (The club formerly known as Moscow Chelski FC), Declan Rice (West Hamster United), Jordan Henderson (Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws), Kalvin Phillips (Sheikh Yer Man City). Forwards: James Maddison (Leicester City), Phil Foden (Sheikh Yer Man City), Jack Grealish (Sheikh Yer Man City), Harry Kane (Stottingtot Hotshots), Bukayo Saka (The Arse), Raheem Sterling (The club formerly known as Moscow Chelski FC), Callum Wilson (Newcastle United), Marcus Rashford (The Scum).
Maddison's inclusion is reward for his superb form for Leicester this season. He has been instrumental in The Foxes' resurgence following their piss poor start to the season and he has six goals and four assists in twelve Premier League games. His only cap for England came almost three years ago - in a Euro 2020 qualifier against Montenegro when he played thirty five minutes. 'He is playing really well,' said Southgate. 'He is a good player. We have always said he is a good player. He has earned the right. We think he can give something slightly different to the other attacking players we have. He is playing as well as any of the attacking players in this country and he is a bit different to the others.' Walker has proved his fitness to Southgate after undergoing groin surgery and not playing for more than a month. The England boss has also put his faith in Phillips, despite the midfielder having had injury struggles throughout this season. Phillips, who has had surgery on his shoulder, returned to action as a second-half substitute in Shiekh Yer Man City's two-nil win against The club formerly known as Moscow Chelski FC in the Carabao Cup on Wednesday. Rashford has not played for England since the Euro 2020 final defeat by Italy, but the forward has scored seven goals in all competitions for The Scum this season. This blogger's beloved (and now, thankfully, sold) Magpies' striker Wilson, who has scored six goals in ten games this season, joins his team-mates Pope and Trippier in the squad, a significant tribute to the way in which Eddie Howe's side have been playing. It is the first time that Newcastle have had three players in an England World Cup squad since 1998 (Alan Shearer, David Batty and Rob Lee). Wilson and England captain Harry Kane will be The Three Lions' main striking options for the World Cup. Like Brentford's Toney and West Hamsters' Bowen, Roma striker Tammy Abraham has been overlooked. 'We have wanted to make sure we have the balance of the squad right,' added Southgate. 'In this day and age squad is more important than ever with five substitutes. You want different options for different moments of matches and different stages of the tournament as well. We have had to cover a couple of players who are not fully match fit as well so having twenty six players means you can take a couple of risks. We think the balance is there. We think we have everything covered.'
For those dear blog readers who may be unfamiliar with what we're talking about here, association football is a sport which is played between two teams of eleven players - or, if Portugal are one of them, two teams of nine ... or eight ... - using a spherical ball. Because, using a square one would be bloody ridiculous. It is widely considered to be the most popular participation and spectator sport on the planet. Except in the USA where they don't even use its proper name and think it's something that girls play. The game takes place on a pitch of rectangular grass or artificial turf. The object being to score by getting the ball into the opposing goal and then stopping them from doing the same to you. Fairly, of course. Or, if you're Italian, anyway you can. In general play, the goalkeepers are the only players allowed to use their hands to touch the ball although at least one late Argentine international tended to ignore that rule. The rest of the team use their feet to kick the ball. And, each other. Often. It's a game of two halves, Brian and, at the end of ninety minutes the team which scores the most goals will be Over the Moon and the other lot will be Sick as a Parrot. Or, to put it another way, it's a game of two halves and extra time. And then the Germans win on penalties. The game is frequently not controlled by an officious, whistle-happy berk aided by two visually-impaired prats with flags. It was invented by the English but, whisper it, we're not actually all that good at it. The Brazilians are. Usually. Except when they aren't. The Dutch and the French and the Spanish can be quite useful too but, more often than not, they end up fighting among themselves after a couple of matches. Which can be jolly amusing to watch. The game has many rules, most of which are self-explanatory. Except for offside (don't ask, trust me, we'll be here all day). Every four years the best thirty two nations in the world come together in a spectacularly expensive corporate brown-tongued hate-fest. Scotland usually don't take part. Because, as noted, it's a tournament for the world's thirty two best national sides. Thirty one of them go home muttering about bias, conspiracy, bad luck, dodgy red cards and 'that was never over the line.' There can be only one champion. A bit like the movie Highlander, only with less beheadings. Although, if you're ever seen Uruguay play ...
