Tea, Boots & Crack

Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) has admitted that his biggest challenge as the new head coach of this blogger's beloved (though, tragically, unsellable) Magpies will be winning over the club’s diehard fanbase. No shit, Sherlock? Hey, did you work that out on your own, Brucie, or did you have help? Cos, if it's the former, that might qualify you for being one of the great minds of your generation. However, Brucie says that he is determined to grasp his 'big opportunity' with both hands. Until, like several predecessors, his new boss decides that it's time for a change and he gets his sorry ass handed to him on a plate in the form of redundancy. The former Sheffield Wednesday boss was named as Rafa The Gaffer Benitez's successor earlier this month, sparking a furious response from large sections of Th' Toon faithful. And, for 'large sections' read 'pretty much all of them.' Most of whom are somewhat pissed off about having a manager whom they liked, respected and admired and who has a CV that included winning the Champions League, La Liga, the UEFA Cup, the Europa League, the FA Cup and the Copa Italia replaced by someone who likes to play his 'I'm a proud Geordie boy, me' card when he feels like it and ignore it at other times, who has, in the past, publicly abused the Newcastle supporters whom he claims to be one of and whose CV includes winning promotion with Birmingham City and Hull (after getting both of them relegated). There has been talk of disgruntled fans boycotting the club's opening game of the Premier League season against The Arse on 11 August, although whether this actually happens is - validly - open to question. As this blogger had noted on several occasions in the past, football fans are often their own worst enemies in this regard in that our fandom - and support of lost causes - always tends to work against us. Speaking to arch Ashley apologists talkSPORT on their Kick Off show on Monday night, Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty) claimed that he 'understands the frustration' surrounding his appointment - admitting he isn't 'everybody's cup of tea' - but vowed to 'do all he can' to push his boyhood club on and prove to be a success in the job. Or, in other words, exactly the same generic 'I'm a proud Geordie boy, me' crap that he has been spouting in every interview he's given since he got the job in the first place. Brucie said: 'It's all been a bit of a blur so far, but I've really enjoyed it. My dad used to say to me I was mad full stop getting into management. I really couldn't turn this job down again. The easiest thing to do would have been to say no, but I wanted to have a crack. Newcastle never leaves you and I wanted to have a go. I was happy and settled in Sheffield, but the Wednesday chairman [Dejphon Chansiri] understood my decision and we shook hands and wished each other all the best.' That'd be the same Sheffield Wednesday currently threatening to take legal action against Newcastle over the appointment of Brucie, would it? He continued: 'My biggest challenge is to win over the support and the challenge to the team is to try and take it forward in the way we are going to play. The big thing that disappoints me is getting labelled with this "dinosaur" thing. We played three at the back at Crystal Palace twenty years ago and one off the front. We were one of the first teams to do it. You get labelled with this dinosaur tag and being old school. There is nothing wrong with old school. But of course you have to embrace what the whole job is about now. The biggest thing I have to overcome are these doubters.' On the threat of a fans' boycott, Brucie said: 'Whether that boycott will take place, your guess is as good as mine. I saw a so-called demonstration the other day - there were twelve people involved in it. It can sometimes be blown out of proportion. I'm convinced that, come the first game of the season, the supporters will be like they always are - right behind their team.' If not, necessarily, the head coach. A necessary difference, one feels. 'I'm not everybody's cup of tea with getting the job. I understand that, but I will give it as good a go as I can do. Hopefully the experiences that I've had over these past twenty years will stand me in good stead.' He added: 'One thing I do know is that the Newcastle fans, come the start of the season, will be there cheering on their team like no other club can. They have been been incredible with their support for the club over the years. I just hope I can keep them moving forward and give them something to shout about. Rafa was that popular with the fans here that whoever was going to come in had big boots to fill. There aren't too many Rafa Benitez's around who have been as successful as he's been and won the Champions League. So there was always going to be an adverse reaction. I completely understand that and it's up to me now to prove people wrong by getting results on the field. This is my big opportunity in management, there's no doubt about that. I've had to wait a while for it, but I'm determined to be a success at this magnificent football club. I hope I can get this football club over the line in terms of winning a trophy. I'm not that naive to think we can win the Premier League, but we've got to be having a go with one of the trophies.' So, there you have it, dear blog reader - not everyone's cup of tea, big boots to fill, wants 'a crack', yadda, yadda, yadda. Another right load of old toot.

Record signing Joelinton scored his first senior goal for the club as this blogger's beloved (though tragically unsellable) Newcastle came from behind to beat Hibernian at Easter Road on Tuesday evening in their fourth pre-season friendly. Sean Longstaff and Jamaal Lascelles were also on target in Edinburgh but there was worrying news for Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him, nasty), as Matt Ritchie left the pitch during the first half with a hamstring injury which will require a scan. United's three man backline was breached after just ten minutes when Stevie Mallan beat Karl Darlow with a clean strike from the edge of the box. Ritchie went down shortly after with nobody near him and got up and walked straight off with Rolando Aarons replacing him at left wing-back - a position he struggled in when played there previously by Steve McClaren. Miguel Almiron went close in the fifteenth minute, heading a Jonjo Shelvey ball from the right narrowly wide. But, a minute later the scores were level and Joelinton had his goal, thanks a first time effort from close range from a great ball from Javier Manquillo on the right. Home custodian Ofir Marciano blocked another Almiron effort in the twenty fdourth minute with his foot but was helpless to stop Longstaff's firm shot from the edge of the area ten minutes before the break. Rather than the mass change of personnel seen at Preston Both Ends on Saturday, United made no half time substitutions and continued to push on - Fabian Schär and Isaac Hayden both augmenting the attacks. Joelinton should have made it three-one on the hour when he elected to pass to Hayden, rather than shooting and the goalkeeper cut out his weak attempted pass. Hibernian enjoyed their best period of possession but the intensity of the game inevitably dropped until Lascelles got on the end of an Aarons cross and thumped a header home from six yards with eighteen minutes remaining. Joelington's movement both on and off the ball caught the eye and the development of an understanding with both Almiron and Shelvey promises to be crucial to The Magpies' attacking aspirations this season. But, the victory was well deserved and notable for some displays of a level not always seen in games of this nature - Manquillo certainly seemed to be up for it and Yoshinori Muto tried hard to make an impression. The Ritchie injury, though, highlights the worrying lack of genuine depth in the squad and renews concerns that struggles in the transfer market will see previously discarded players back in the side by default rather than merit.

The Football Association is introducing 'sin bins' at grassroots level from the start of the 2019-20 season. The ten-minute dismissals will be issued by referees as a sanction only for dissent, while shorter punishments will be applied in youth football. They will be indicated by a referee showing the guilty player a yellow card and pointing to the touchline. 'Dissent is a key part of the game that needs to be tackled,' said the FA's chief executive Mark Bullingham. Sin bins were first piloted during the 2017-18 season and extended to a total of thirty one leagues the following year. It will be implemented up to step five of the National League System and tier three and below in women's football. The FA found that there was a thirty eight per cent total reduction in dissent across all leagues during the trial period. Bullingham added: 'Our pilot phase has proved that sin bins work well. The trial showed a huge impact on behaviour that we want to roll out to the whole game and make it more enjoyable for everyone.'

The Football Association has increased the minimum ban for anyone found guilty of racist abuse to six matches. The increase for the 2019-20 season comes in the wake of a forty three per cent rise in reports of racist abuse last season. As well as racist language, the minimum ban also covers any discrimination aimed at a person's gender, sexuality, religious beliefs or disability. The FA has also announced that people in technical areas can be issued with yellow and red cards. It is the first time the minimum ban for abuse has risen since a five-game suspension came in for such offences in 2013. The minimum suspension is only for a first offence and bans can be increased if there are any additional aggravating factors.

Police investigating rape allegations against Brazilian football player Neymar say they have closed the case. The São Paulo attorney general's office said the case was suspended 'due to a lack of evidence,' but will be sent to prosecutors for a final decision. The investigation was opened after a Brazilian model, Najila Trindade, alleged that the footballer attacked her in a hotel in Paris, in May. Neymar has denied the accusations, claiming that he is 'being extorted.' A spokesman for Neymar told AFP that he was 'not able to comment' on the police decision. The case has gripped Brazil, where it has dominated newspaper headlines. It first came to light in June, when the Paris St-Germain striker released a seven minute video on Instagram revealing that he had been accused of rape. He also published Whatsapp messages and images that he claimed to be of the woman. In the video he claims that he had to make them public to 'prove that nothing really happened.' Trindade then went public, giving a television interview and releasing footage and a video clip purportedly showing an altercation between the two. Police later filed a defamation suit against Trindade, who allegedly insinuated the force was corrupt, according to news agency AFP. The model was also dropped by several lawyers. Prosecutors now have fifteen days to evaluate the case before a judge makes a final ruling.

Gareth Bale has stroppily pulled out of Real Madrid's trip to Munich for a pre-season tournament, following the collapse of his proposed move to China. It is understood that Bale is 'not in the right mental state' to play after Real president Florentino Perez prevented him from joining Jiangsu Suning. Last week, Real boss Zinedine Zidane said that the thirty-year-old was 'very close to leaving' having fallen out of favour. Zidane added his exit would be 'best for everyone.' But, particularly for Bale who was set to pick up a signing on fee the size of the gross national debt of several third-world countries. The thirty three-time Spanish champions will play Bale's former club Stottingtot Hotshots on Tuesday in the opening game of the tournament that also includes Bayern München and Fenerbahçe. Danny Rose is included in Spurs' squad, despite being left out of the pre-season tour party of Asia in order to seek a new club. Bale joined the Spanish club for eight five million knicker from Spurs in 2013 in a world record deal at the time. He has three years left on his contract with the Bernabeu club where he has won four Champions Leagues, one La Liga title, a Copa del Rey, three UEFA Super Cups and three Club World Cups. The Welshman scored three goals, plus a penalty in a shootout, in four Champions League finals for Real as they won the competition in 2014, 2016, 2017 and 2018. However, injury problems have limited him to seventy nine La Liga starts in the past four seasons. He played forty two matches for Real Madrid last season in all competitions but was booed by the home supporters at times during the campaign. It has been reported Real blocked Bale's move as they are demanding a transfer fee for the player. Former Real Madrid and Wales manager John Toshack has told BBC 5Live that criticism of Bale is 'justified' and that he should have 'engaged himself' with Spain and the Real supporters during his six years at the club. 'Come out Gareth, do an interview, speak yourself,' said the seventy-year-old. 'You've been here six or seven years now. You don't speak the language. That's an insult to the people that you're working for. It's not gone down well at all here in Spain, and it saddens me.'

Angry South Korean football fans are reportedly 'seeking compensation' after Cristiano Ronaldo failed to take to the pitch during a Juventus pre-season friendly. Ooo, aal vexed and with their mad right-up, so they were. The superstar was allegedly contracted to play for forty five minutes when the match against K League All Stars was announced, organisers say, but he stayed on the subs' bench throughout. Fans became angry when he made no sign of lacing up his boots, even chanting the name of his rival Lionel Messi. Some have now reached out to Seoul law firm Myungan to file a lawsuit. They are seeking compensation of seventy thousand Won (that's around forty eight quid) per ticket, one thousand Won for the ticket commission fee and one million Won each for compensation for 'mental anguish.' 'Normally in such cases the plaintiffs will be refunded the price of the tickets, but I put this under a special case since the company, through false advertising, took advantage of the football star's fans,' a lawyer from the firm - which, honestly, does not part-take in chasing ambulances under any circumstances - told Reuters. 'As for the mental anguish part, I'd like to say some of them are raucous fans, the real avid fans. So for them it is very painful because they love Ronaldo and want to protect him, but they can't, given the situation,' he added. 'For now we have two plaintiffs who sued the company, but I have been getting a lot of calls today and I assume there will be some sixty thousand more.' Robin Chang, CEO of The Fasta, the Korean agency which arranged the game, broke down in tears to broadcaster SBS and confirmed that the contract stipulated the Portuguese star would appear for forty five minutes. However, Chang claimed she only found out that the thirty four-year-old would not be making an appearance ten minutes into the second-half. 'When I went to argue with [Pavel] Nedved, the vice president of Juventus, all he said was "I also wish Ronaldo ran, but he doesn't want to. Sorry, there's nothing I can do." I was so frustrated,' she claimed. South Korea's professional football governing body, K League, said a letter of protest has been sent to the Italian champions for 'violating the contract.' Many fans have been voicing their anger at Ronaldo on social media. 'He betrayed the sixty thousand audience and belittled us,' one fan who attended the match whinged on Instagram. 'I'm no longer a Ronaldo fan.' One imagines that multi-millionaire Ronaldo is p0roper gutted by your no longer being his fan, mate.

Former Brazil forward Ronaldinho has had fifty seven properties seized and his Brazilian and Spanish passports confiscated over unpaid taxes and fines, according to reports in Brazil. The twice World Player Of The Year was fined nine-and-a-half million Reais (just over two million smackers) for, allegedly, illegally building a pier at his lake house in the city of Porto Alegre, the newspaper Folha de Sao Paulo claimed. But as well as the environmental fine, big-toothed Ronaldinho is also 'being pursued by creditors' seeking to recover over 1.6 million quid 'in other debts, such as council taxes.' A judge in Porto Alegre told the Reuters news agency that because the case was under judicial secrecy rules, no details of the newspaper report could be either confirmed or denied. Ronaldinho was the 2004 and 2005 World Player of the Year and enjoyed the prime of his career at Spanish giants Barcelona. He won the World Cup in 2002. The captain of that team, Cafu, is similarly facing financial problems, having had various apartments which he owns in Brazil seized by the authorities. Ronaldinho's net worth is estimated at eighty to =one hundred million knicker and he is reported to charge around one hundred and fifty grand for a single promoted Instagram post.

A former football agent involved in the late Emiliano Sala's move to Cardiff City from Nantes in January has failed to appear in court charged with two counts of fraudulent transfer of property. Willie McKay arranged the flight that crashed in the English Channel, killing Sala and pilot David Ibbotson. He is accused of buying a fifty four thousand knicker car and a nine thousand quid watch while declared bankrupt. McKay's solicitor told Manchester Magistrates' Court that his client would not be attending 'because of the press. If he had been ambushed outside this court today it could have severely affected his mental well-being,' Michael Levy claimed. One or two people even believed him. McKay faces two charges under the Insolvency Act, including spending nine thousand one hundred smackers on a Rolex Date Just II watch for his wife in Leeds on 14 December 2014, while bankrupt. The second charge states that a day later, he spent fifty four grand on a Jaguar XK5 car in Doncaster. Steven Palmer, chair of the bench, told the court: 'We find no good reason why we should proceed in [Mr McKay's] absence. We are going to adjourn to allow him to attend. We expect him to attend.' Palmer said the court would issue an 'attend or warrant' letter, adding: 'If he does not attend we may arrange transport for him.'

Fort William, Britain's worst professional football team, have finally ended a seventy three-game winless run stretching back over eight hundred days. The Highland League side, who had a minus two hundred and twenty one goal difference last season, triumphed five-two against Nairn County in the North of Scotland Cup. Prior to this win, their last victory came four campaigns ago when they defeated Strathspey Thistle four-one. 'Unbelievable stuff,' declared the club's official Twitter account. 'A great night at Claggan Park tonight. An unbelievable feeling. We would like to thank everyone who came along. And we would like to thank everyone online, around the world who have celebrated with us. Your support doesn't go unnoticed.' Within minutes of the final whistle the club, whose eighteen hundred-capacity ground is nestled in the shadows of Ben Nevis, was trending on Twitter as word spread of their famous victory. Last week Fort announced a tie-up with Inverness Caledonian Thistle and the loan of nine players. At least two on those were on target against Nairn. A BBC Scotland documentary, The Fort, followed the club's disastrous run last season that delivered just two draws and a minus seven points finish due to a deduction for fielding an ineligible player three times. Fort William midfielder Scott Hunter took to Twitter ahead of Wednesday's game, writing: "Thanks 'o everyone for their comments, support and love for the BBC doc and Fort William FC. Eyes of the world are on our result tonight.'

Depressing

This blogger's beloved (though, tragically unsellable) Newcastle United have signed the striker Joelinton from Hoffenheim for a club record fee on a six-year deal. The twenty-year-old Brazilian is the first signing of Steve Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him nasty) since he was named the club's new head coach, replacing Rafael Benitez. Joelinton scored eleven goals in thirty five games for Hoffenheim last season, with seven of those coming in the Bundesliga. He started his career at Brazilian side Sport Recife before moving to Germany in 2015. The reported thirty five million knicker deal smashes the previous club record fee of twenty million notes paid for Paraguay playmaker Miguel Almiron from Atlanta United in January. 'I'm really happy to be here,' claimed Joelinton, who will wear the number nine shirt at St James' Park previously worn by Hughie Gallagher, Jackie Milburn, Len White, Wyn Davies, Malcolm MacDonald, Les Ferdinand, Alan Shearer and, most recently Salomon Rondon. 'I know it's a large investment that the club has made in me, and that comes with a huge responsibility. I'm highly motivated and hope to give back on the pitch.' Brucie said: 'The kid has got an exciting time ahead of him. He is a smashing young player and we are obviously delighted to get him. It is been going on for a little bit now, so to get him is great for everybody. He has got everything that a modern-day player wants. He is big, strong and athletic, and of course he's got age on his side too which is vitally important.' German news sites speculated on Tuesday that the delay in concluding the Joelinton deal had been due to Newcastle waiting for a work permit rather than any issue related to his personal terms or the deal itself. Following Mirandinha (another former member of the number nine club), Fumaca, Cacapa and Kenedy he will become the fifth Brazilian-born player to represent the club. Let us all hope, for everyone's sake, he proves to be a somewhat better acquisition than any of those were.

Meanwhile, Sheffield Wednesday have reported this blogger's beloved (though, tragically unsellable) Newcastle to the Premier League over the appointment of their former manager. Grassed 'em up good and proper to The Law like a filthy, stinkin' Copper's Nark, so they did. Hell hath no fury, it would seem, like a middle of the table Championship side who get their - not particularly impressive - manager hoisted. Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him nasty) had extremely resigned as Wednesday boss last week following talks with The Magpies. He was then confirmed as Newcastle manager the following day on a three-year deal, taking coaches Steve Agnew and Stephen Clemence with him. The Owls, whose Championship campaign starts next week, have yet to name a replacement for Brucie. In a statement, the Yorkshire club whinged: 'Following Newcastle United's announcement on 17 July 2019 of its appointment of former Sheffield Wednesday staff Steve Bruce, Steve Agnew and Stephen Clemence, the club confirms that it has today reported Newcastle United's conduct to the Premier League. As the Premier League will now initiate and carry out investigations into the club's allegations, the club will not be commenting further on this matter whilst such investigations are ongoing.' Listen, mate, as far as most of us at Th' Toon are concerned, you can have him back if it means that much to you. Today, if you want.

Brucie has also claimed that he will never be controversial club owner Mike Ashley's 'yes man.' One or two people even believed him. Ashley has drawn fierce criticism from Magpies' fans, with a perceived lack of spending often a focus of frustration. 'I think you've known me long enough. I'm not going to be anybody's yes man,' claimed Brucie. 'I'm too long in the tooth for that. I've heard it said that I'm a puppet or not in charge of transfers or what have you, but I can only report on how he's been with myself and he's been straight down the line in the conversations I've had. That can only be a good thing. I'm not his bag man or anything else. I will certainly be my own man, I always have. Whoever was sitting here would have big shoes to fill, but let me have a crack.' So, there you have it, dear blog reader, on the conveyor belt tonight Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him nasty) wants 'a crack.' Good luck with that, Brucie.

Dinamo Bucharest manager Eugen Neagoe is reported to be in 'a stable condition' after collapsing on the bench during Sunday's two-nil defeat by Universitatea Craiova. The fifty one-year-old became unwell in the twenty fourth minute in the Liga 1 fixture in the National Arena, the club said. He was given a bottle of water and could be seen breathing heavily on the sidelines shortly before he fainted. Play was halted for fifteen minutes as he received treatment, before he was taken to Bucharest's Floreasca Hospital. Neagoe, who only joined the side in June, is stable and will remain under observation at the hospital, local media later reported. In 2016 Dinamo Bucharest midfielder Patrick Ekeng died, aged twenty six, of a suspected heart attack after collapsing on the pitch.

The father of a Partick Thistle player has been hailed for giving 'life-saving' emergency help to a supporter at his son's Scottish League Cup tie. Thistle striker Lewis Mansell's dad David, who is a medic, rushed to the aid of the unwell fan during the game at Hamilton Academical's stadium. Eye witnesses say that he provided CPR before emergency services arrived. 'The thoughts of everyone at Thistle are with the supporter who fell ill this afternoon,' said the club. 'Thanks to The Jags fan who was on hand to offer immediate medical assistance and to all of the emergency services for their efforts. Fingers crossed for a speedy recovery.' A Police Scotland spokesman told BBC Scotland the supporter had been taken to Hairmyres Hospital, where he is now recovering. Matt Greer, a fan in the away section at New Douglas Park, described Mansell's actions as 'heroic' as he stepped in. 'The best performance I've ever seen at a Thistle game came today from a fellow fan,' he wrote on Twitter. David Mansell later replied via social media, saying: 'I'd just like to say that mine was only part of a team effort. Special praise should also go to the Thistle fans first on scene, Hamilton first aiders and the stewards whose prompt actions including CPR and getting a defibrillator to the patient very quickly. A special thank you to the A&E consultant who was also on scene.' Hamilton won the game on a penalty shootout after the tie finished two-two.

Former England, Stottingtot Hotshots, Blunderland and Aston Villains striker Darren Bent has retired more than a year after his last professional appearance. Which will, presumably, come as a considerable surprise to all football fans who thought he'd already retired. The thirty five-year-old had been without a club after leaving Derby County at the end of the 2018 season, having scored two hundred and eleven goals in five hundred and fifty eight career games. Bent came through the academy system at Ipswich Town and went on to play for nine senior clubs. And, proved to be a colossal waste of money to most of them. He made his England debut in March 2006 and won thirteen caps, scoring four goals. The Londoner amassed almost fifty million quid in transfer fees during his eighteen-year career, including Aston Villains paying a club-record eighteen million knicker to sign him from The Mackem Filth in January 2011. He finished his career at Burton Albinos on loan and played his last game for The Brewers at Preston Both Ends in May 2018.

A Sort Of A Homecoming ...

Wednesday brought the - extremely unwelcome, if not entirely unexpected - news that this blogger's beloved (though, tragically, unsellable and now, seemingly, relegation-bound) Newcastle United had appointed Steve Bruce as their new head coach. Which has proved to about as popular on Tyneside as the last recorded case of diphtheria was. Bruce has signed an initial three year contract and is joined by coaches Steve Agnew and Stephen Clemence, with the trio en route to China to take charge of the club's second Asian Trophy tie on Saturday. Bruce's former club Sheffield Wednesday soon put out a statement, suggesting that they were pure-dead pissed off about this here malarkey. They stated that compensation had not been agreed between the clubs and that they were taking 'the appropriate legal advice.' This one, dear blog reader, could run and run. United are the eleventh club of Bruce's managerial career, since taking charge of Sheffield United in July 1998 - his most recent top-flight stint ending in 2016 when his Hull City side were extremely relegated (to be fair, he did get them promoted the following year at the first attempt but then, immediately, decamped for pastures Villa).

This blogger has already made his own feelings about Bruce's - lack of - abilities as a manager clear in previous bloggerisations both on From The North and our sister blog, Keith Telly Topping's World Cup Trivia Page so there's not much point in going over the same ground again. Instead, this blogger will leave it to the lads at NUFC.com whose apparent sighing disillusionment seems to match this blogger's own. 'All the talk of progressive football and has sacrificed on the altar of expedience and we're now saddled with a John Carver/Steve McClaren reboot,' they began. 'We don't really care about [Brice's] club-hopping or the plight he's left Wednesday in; the Mackem connection or his perception as an Old Trafford apologist is of little consequence ahead of the 2019-20 season. And, even the claim that the man who allegedly "bleeds black and white" once preferred to join Norwich City doesn't particularly matter - "football is a lie," as his predecessor was fond of saying. Regardless of your viewpoint of Rafa though, this cannot be seen as anything other than a retrograde step - a man who previously boasted of his dislike of tactics. This is the very opposite of ambition, but an appointment that nicely mirrors our grubby, unloved, derided shell of a football club. We have appointed one of the game's greatest mercenary managers. Acutely aware of the frosty reception awaiting, Bruce has accepted the job with open arms knowing that the worst case scenario is a multimillion payout in time for Christmas. The job title given to Bruce of Head Coach seems significant: with just over three weeks to go until the transfer window closes, let's hope that whoever is actually in charge of recruitment on Barrack Road has a coherent and credible plan to avoid what looks like nothing but a relegation fight. Whether the club have shown some foresight in appointing Bruce remains to be seen; perhaps they've merely acquired a manager with promotion to the top flight on his CV thirteen months before he's needed.' Bruce himself has claimed that he may 'find it tough' at St James' Park. No shit, mate? That might be the understatement of the decade. And, to those other prime lick-arse Ashley-apologist scum at Sky Sports whose coverage of United's opening Asian Trophy hiding to Wolverhampton Wanderers on Wednesday included both the commentator Martin Tyler and their alleged 'expert' Andy Townsend (actually, a risible waste-of-space plank previously sacked from a similar job at ITV to the delight of millions) opining that Newcastle supporters 'have to get over Rafa,' thank you gentlemen. Thank you so much for telling working men and women who pay good money to watch their football team what they have to do whilst you're sitting there getting paid to talk such shite about stuff you know nothing about. You pair of disgraceful abject smears. Meanwhile, citing 'Sky Sports' as a source, the Daily Scum Mail claimed that Bruce was given the job 'despite being eleventh choice and not even on Newcastle's original shortlist.' This may be true. What is certain is that Bruce wasn't their first choice since, for the second time in his life, that odious obese buffoon Sam Allardyce has undermined a fellow manager by publicly revealing that he had been sounded out for the job and had turned it down. The Sun, meanwhile, quoted Alan Shearer as saying he had dinner with Bruce three weeks ago and had advised Bruce not to take the job should he be offered it. 'I said: "Why are you going to be any different to Keegan or Benitez? If you take it, you must be mad because you know how it works there." He was not Newcastle's first choice to replace Rafa. He might not even have been their second, third or fourth pick. He knows what is going on and what has gone on in the past. He knows how fed-up the fan-base is. He knows how the football club is run, it is not a secret any more. This is without a doubt the toughest and most toxic situation Steve has ever walked into. No job is impossible but this one is very, very difficult for so many different reasons.' Lick-arse Ashley apologists Sky Sports's claim that Bruce could have more than ninety million pounds to spend at Newcastle this summer probably needs to be taken with a highly unhealthy amount of salt given that a) Bruce is, reportedly, not going to have any say in whom the club buys since his job title in Head Coach rather than Manager; b) there is only a little more than a fortnight left in the summer transfer window the club having spent the last three months faffing around seemingly doing nothing and c) the word 'could' is a fantastically bland and unimpressive one in most contexts and, especially, in this one. Newcastle are reportedly to be 'in talks' to sign Brazilian striker Joelinton from Hoffenheim. The twenty two-year-old was left out of Hoffenheim's squad for a pre-season game on Wednesday and the German club have confirmed they are in 'concrete talks' with an - unnamed - Premier League club over a potential transfer. 'Some reports have suggested the fee could be as high as thirty six million pounds,' said Sky Sports News reporter Dharmesh Sheth. There's that word 'could' again. Unconfirmed reports state that Joelinton is currently on Tyneside to complete his medical.

Meanwhile, West Bromwich Albinos striker Salomon Rondon has followed Rafael Benitez to China to join his former Newcastle manager at Super League side Dalian Yifang. The twenty nine-year-old has moved for 'an undisclosed fee.' However much it was, it was more than poor, poverty-stricken Mike Ashley can afford. Allegedly. Venezuela international Rondon spent last season on loan with this blogger's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies where he proved to be extremely popular with supporters, scored eleven goals in thirty three appearances and won the club's Play Of The Season award.

Fleetwood Town manager Joey Barton has been charged with causing actual bodily harm following a post-match incident in the tunnel at Barnsley on 13 April. Police say that the incident, after The Tykes beat Fleetwood four-two in a League One game at Oakwell, left a man with facial injuries. Barton has previously 'emphatically denied' accusations that he confronted Barnsley manager Daniel Stendel and, you know, stuck one on him. The thirty six-year-old has been bailed until 9 October. Barnsley complained to the Football Association and Football League in April about the incident. At the time, South Yorkshire Police also appealed for any witnesses with footage of the incident to come forward.

Stevenage have been fined five thousand smackers after admitting a Football Association charge of sexist chanting towards a female official during a home game in March. About seventy five to one hundred home fans chanted for several minutes as fourth official Lisa Rashid replaced an assistant referee midway through their match with Bury. The League Two game had been chosen as Stevenage's 'women in football' day. Oh, the irony. 'We will impose significant bans on any supporters found guilty of such behaviour,' claimed chairman Phil Wallace. 'Financial penalties really hurt small clubs like ourselves and this is a real blow to us as we fight financially to build a winning team.' Stevenage breached Football Association rule E20, which states 'the club had failed to ensure that its spectators and all persons purporting to be its supporters or followers, conducted themselves in an orderly fashion and refrained from using abusive and/or insulting words which included a reference, whether express or implied to gender, whilst attending a match in which it was involved.' The Hertfordshire club have also been ordered to implement a fifteen-point action plan - though the FA concluded they were 'not at fault' for the behaviour, or the way it was dealt with on the day. The FA say that the chanting against Rashid was 'extremely offensive, both blatantly sexist and in vulgar indecent language.'

Welsh champions The New Saints will bank close to a million quid from European success this season following a win which could also be priceless for domestic rivals. New Saints' three-two aggregate victory over Feronikeli saw them progress to the Champions League second qualifying round to face FC Copenhagen. They are already guaranteed around eight hundred and thirty grand in prize money. But, just as valuable is that Wales should now retain four European places next season. Cardiff Met and Barry Town were both eliminated in the Europa League preliminary rounds. Defeat for TNS could have seen Wales drop in UEFA's coefficient ranking systems that decide how many European competition places are on offer to each domestic league, with Wales under threat of losing one of their Europa League entries. 'I think [our] win has probably ensured Wales keeps all its UEFA spots for next season,' New Saints chairman Mike Harris told BBC Sport Wales. 'I'd like to think the rest of the league was behind us because of that - and certainly there were some nice comments on social media from fans of other teams. As a league we don't want to lose any spots because the cash it brings in to the teams can be paramount.' Saints now face Copenhagen, with the Danish champions visiting Park Hall for the first leg on Thursday 23 July. The New Saints - Welsh Premier League champions for the past eight seasons - could earn a further four hundred thousand knicker if they pull off an unlikely win against a side which includes six current Denmark internationals. 'It was always going to be one of the tougher ties but we're looking forward to it,' Harris said. 'The prize money exceeds our annual playing budget. As a club with all the other things you now need to do with licensing and academy, it ensures we go a long way to breaking even which has to be the aim of every club, to live within their means. I wouldn't say it's a lifeline but it's money that's well needed. We don't attract TV deals or naming right sponsorship like other leagues so it is tough out there. I was speaking to the president of Feronikeli who said their playing budget was 1.6 million Euros, which is nearly three times ours. It's tough but hopefully we can give (Copenhagen) a scare. We're very much underdogs but we always back ourselves at home.'

Connah's Quay Nomads beating Kilmarnock is 'one of the biggest upsets in the history of Europa League' and a 'bigger result' than Barcelona losing four-nil at Liverpool, according to manager Andy Morrison. The Welsh part-timers set up a second qualifying round tie with Partizan Belgrade after a stunning - and completely unexpected - two-nil win at Rugby Park overturned a two-one deficit from the first leg. Six of the Nomads team, who will get home at 5am, had to work on Friday. 'What we've achieved is something quite remarkable,' said Scots-born Morrison. 'You could see for large periods what a good team they are, but we were too savvy and too clever and worked them out. We always believed we'd get a chance and we took them.' Callum Morris' seventy ninth-minute penalty was the decisive goal and came after Ryan Wignall opened the scoring just after the interval. One imagines Kille's new manager, Angelo Alessio, wasn't doing a couple of choruses of The Proclaimers' 'The Joyful Kilmarnock Blues' after that fiasco. It was a third win in Scotland inside ten months for Connah's Quay, who beat both Falkirk and Queen's Park in the Challenge Cup last season before losing to Ross County in March's final. However, the side who finished second in the Welsh Premier League last term and attract an average attendance of around two hundred and seventy, needed a penalty shootout to beat Edinburgh City five months ago. 'I heard some stuff before the game - I think it was the Queens' Park manager who said "it'll be six but I wouldn't be surprised if they get ten,"' Morrison told BBC Scotland. 'There's a little message for them there. You don't write off teams of men. My skipper is thirty seven years old, Michael Wilde is thirty five, but they have the hearts the size of lions and never back down. It's a monumental achievement by them all. The lads are going to get back home at five in the morning, six of them have work tomorrow and then we've got to get ready for Serbia next week.'

The Confederation of African Football president Ahmad is coming under growing pressure as FIFA investigates allegations of impropriety against him. Separately, an investigation by the BBC revealed that Ahmad received two sets of expenses, claiming to be in two different countries, for the same nine-day period during the 2018 World Cup. According to documents seen by the BBC, the FIFA vice-president twice claimed for payments from African football's ruling body, CAF, for work carried out between 23 June and 1 July. First, the documents indicate that he signed for daily allowances which stated he was in Egypt for this period - before later adding his signature to a document alleging he was in Russia at the same time. As a vice-president of football's world governing body, Ahmad should have been paid his daily World Cup allowance of four hundred and fifty dollars by FIFA since they organise the tournament - meaning he may have received three sets of payments for the nine-day spell in question. CAF, whose headquarters are in the Egyptian capital Cairo, had no role in organising the event. 'President Ahmad took [sic] contact with the FIFA administration to support him in its action for CAF's reforms and to get the process more transparent,' CAF replied to BBC Sport in a statement. 'The details of this cooperation will be announced very soon. For now, as the President have [sic] a very deep respect of the institutions, he keeps his answers for FIFA's teams, which will lead the future audit.' In June, FIFA and CAF announced that FIFA will install its own Secretary General to 'oversee administrative reform' in the governance of African football's ruling body from 1 August. The decision to appoint Senegalese Fatma Samoura as a General Delegate to CAF is unprecedented in the one hundred and fifteen-year history of FIFA, which has never had recourse before to take over the administration of a confederation. Ahmad, who took charge of African football in March 2017, is currently being investigated by both FIFA's Ethics Committee and by French anti-corruption authorities - with an unusual kit deal involving a French gym equipment supplier among the lines of inquiry. The fifty nine-year-old from Madagascar, whose organisation is currently hosting the Africa Cup of Nations in Egypt, has strenuously denied any and all wrongdoing in previous statements. In early June 2018, Ahmad travelled to Moscow to attend both the FIFA Congress on 13 June and the World Cup, which ran between 14 June and 11 July. Documents seen by the BBC indicate that Ahmad flew from Russia to Egypt on 23 June for a four-day stay before heading back to Moscow after a trip home to Madagascar between 27 June and 1 July. Nonetheless, the documents suggest that, on 28 September last year, Ahmad collected over eighteen thousand dollars from CAF for a forty one-day stay in Russia between 7 June and 17 July. His signature can be seen at the bottom of a page detailing the expenses, which came under the heading 'Mission: World Cup Russia 2018.' Three weeks earlier, on 9 September, Ahmad had collected four thousand and fifty bucks from CAF for a nine-day period between 23 June and 1 July, which came under the heading 'Visit to CAF Bureau'. The BBC states that Ahmad 'may have been in neither Egypt nor Russia for the period 27 June to 1 July but in Madagascar,' as documents suggest he 'intended to travel home at that time.' The BBC specifically asked Ahmad and CAF if it could confirm or deny that he was in the island nation at the time but received no response in the statement it was given. Nor did FIFA answer a question about whether it paid Ahmad for work undertaken on behalf of FIFA in Qatar between 23 and 25 October 2018. Despite travelling to the host nation of the next World Cup on behalf of FIFA - with these expenses labelled 'Mission FIFA - Qatar' on a CAF document - it appears that Ahmad claimed expenses, amounting to thirteen hundred and fifty dollars from the African football body once again. Shortly after taking charge of CAF in March 2017, Ahmad told the BBC that he would not be taking a salary from CAF 'for the simple reason it doesn't respect good administration. The salaries of all CAF employees, from administrators to the executive committee and president, all have to be transparent,' he said in May 2017. The BBC also revealed that just two months later, Ahmad agreed to receive a monthly salary of forty grand, amounting to some four hundred and eighty thousand dollars per year, with an annual bonus of eighty thousand dollars. While this figure may have been determined by Executive Committee members without his input, Ahmad did not reject the salary nor did he make it public. Ironically, the man whom Ahmad displaced - Issa Hayatou - had gone without a salary for most of his twenty nine-year reign. The Cameroonian, who ruled CAF with an iron fist, took charge in 1988 but only accepted a salary, equivalent to thirty thousand dollars per month, in July 2016 - just eight months before the end of his decades-long rule. He had however received a 'representational payment,' which had grown to ninety thousand dollars per year by the time he left office. Ahmad, who took charge of CAF in March 2017, has two years left of his four-year term.

The Football Association is to appeal against the six-week suspension and seventy five grand fine handed out to Daniel Sturridge for breaching its betting rules. It believes the former Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws striker deserves at least a six-month ban having been found extremely guilty by a regulatory commission of giving his brother inside information on a possible move to Sevilla. Sturridge's six-week suspension from all domestic matches came into effect on Wednesday. The former England international is currently without a club following his release by Liverpool and, with the final four weeks of the ban suspended, will be free to resume his career from 31 July. He will, therefore, not miss any competitive football unless he breaches betting rules again. The FA charged the striker with misconduct in November 2018 and, according to the Gruniad Morning Star, 'expected a more severe punishment for a guilty verdict. The authority has announced it will appeal against the independent body's findings and has informed Sturridge's legal team of its intentions. A date for the appeal has not been set. It confirmed in a statement: 'The FA respectfully disagrees with the regulatory commission's findings and will be appealing against the charges which were dismissed and the sanction which was imposed.' In the published findings of the hearing - some of which are redacted - the FA states: 'A sanction of any shorter duration than six months would wholly fail to reflect the gravity of the case.' Sturridge was cleared of nine of the eleven charges he faced relating to his transfer from Anfield in January 2018. On two accounts, however, he was found to have told his brother, Leon, to bet on a possible move to Sevilla. The club were ultimately unable to agree the terms of a loan deal with Liverpool and Sturridge joined West Bromwich Albinos until the end of the 2017-18 season. In the event Sturridge played only six times for the Albinos between February and May 2018 without scoring a single goal. Leon Sturridge did not put on the Sevilla bet. Another relative, Anthon Walters, lost ten grand betting that Sturridge would join Internazionale who, along with this blogger's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle, were also interested in signing the forward. When Inter's interest emerged Sturridge's uncle and agent, Dean, allegedly messaged him to say: 'Fuck it, stay out of squad.' Sturridge responded: 'Cool with me.' Liverpool beat Sheikh Yer Man City four-three at Anfield two days after the exchange without Sturridge in the squad. The total sum wagered by people directly or indirectly connected to Sturridge was over thirteen grand returning then thousand seven hundred and sixty two knicker and fifty six pee. There were attempts to place a further twenty thousand five hundred and sixty smackers worth of bets on his potential transfers in January 2018 but these were refused by betting companies. If accepted - and successful - they would have returned an extra three hundred thousand notes. Sturridge, who denied all the charges, said it was 'extremely disappointing' to learn of the FA's appeal and that he would 'defend his position.' He described the past fifteen months as 'very tough' and added: 'I am pleased that nine of the eleven charges were dismissed and that the panel found me to be an honest and credible witness and that my actions on one particularly difficult day were out of character.' The FA's findings do describe Sturridge as 'an impressive and credible witness' but also claim he gave 'a misleading account' when first interviewed about his brother's betting and of his knowledge of it. The FA's statement said: 'Sturridge faced eleven charges. Nine of those charges concerned alleged breaches of the inside information rule, in that, it was said, Mister Sturridge had provided inside information to friends and family about his possible transfer moves in January 2018, which information had then been used for, or in relation to, betting. Those charges were dismissed by the regulatory commission. The regulatory commission found proved charges three and four, which alleged that, in that same transfer window, Mister Sturridge had instructed his brother, Leon, to bet on a possible move by [Daniel] to Sevilla FC. In issuing that instruction, the regulatory commission found that, as a matter of fact, Mister Sturridge had provided his brother with inside information for that purpose.' Sturridge has been training this summer in Los Angeles, where he has a home. The former Moscow Chelski FC and Sheikh Yer Man City striker has interest from clubs in the United States, China, several European teams and Premier League suitors including Aston Villains.

Once, his many lick-ass friends in Fleet Street were pushing his case to be the next England manager. But, Roy Hodgson got the gig instead. Now, the only jobs that Hapless Harry Redknapp can get are some crap adverts and opening a toilet block in Bournemouth which had been closed for five years. 'Scores of residents gathered outside the facilities yesterday morning as the King of the Jungle arrived to pose for photographs and sign autographs before cutting the ribbon and unveiling a plaque,' the Bournemouth Daily Echo reports. Hardly surprising; one imagines that most of them were bustin' for a slash after five years.

"Nasty To See You, The See You Nasty ..."

Just a few short weeks ago, dear blog reader, this blogger's beloved (though, tragically unsellable) Magpies were still being managed by a man whose CV included wining the Champions League, the UEFA Cup (and its successor the Europa League), La Liga (twice), the FA Cup and the Coppa Italia. Now, sadly, Rafa The Gaffer is gone to China. In the period immediately after his departure, however, Newcastle were widely reported - in various media outlets - to be considering replacements that included Mikel Arteta, Patrick Viera, Steven Gerrard, Roberto Martinez and even Jose Mourinho and Arsene Wenger (some of these alleged targets, admittedly, being far more credible than others). Now, the players have returned from their summer break to a club currently without a manager, without either of the team's two leading scorers from last season, without any hint of new signings and with a proposed - and widely reported - takeover by rich Arabs looking increasingly like wishful thinking and half-truths on everyone's part. Be careful what you wish for, dear blog reader, it might just come true. Worse yet, the club's latest reported - and, subsequently, confirmed - target to become their new manager is a man the highlight of whose managerial career was getting Birmingham City (twice) and Hull City (twice) promoted - and getting both relegated. And, also managing Sheffield United, Huddersfield Town, Wigan Not Very Athletic, Crystal Palace, The Mackem Filth, Aston Villains and Sheffield Wednesday. And winning nothing with any of them. Not a sausage. Bugger all. The idea of replacing Rafa Benitez with Steve Bruce is a little like the idea of replacing Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear with Chris Evans. That is, 'what, some idiot actually got paid to come up with this nonsense?'

This blogger is not a fan of Steve Bruce, dear blog reader, he will be perfectly open about that from the off; Brucie was, undeniably, a fine player and had a great - trophy-filled - career with The Scum. But this blogger particularly dislikes the way in which Bruce has seemed happy in the past to play the 'I'm a proud Geordie boy, me' card whenever it has suited him and to quietly forget about it whenever it didn't. As this blogger told the Salut Sunderland website in 2010 when he was asked if it 'hurt' Newcastle fans to see Bruce managing Blunderland at that time: 'Every time there's some bad news story about Newcastle - which isn't infrequently these days - somebody, sooner or later, will get around to asking Bruce for his opinion. And his first line will always be "well, as a Geordie myself ..." whilst, quite literally, squirting salt tears into his eyes from a pipette ... I think he was a good player, mind, don't get me wrong. But, I don't think it's unreasonable to say that his managerial abilities are still, validly, open to question.' Yes, Steve Bruce was born in Corbridge and was, indeed, a Newcastle United supporter as a boy when his family lived in Wallsend (he was a ball boy for the club at the 1974 FA Cup Final, for example). This blogger's father knew Steve Bruce's father, vaguely and this blogger is also acquainted with several people who know the Bruce family and Steve himself personally. All that this blogger has ever heard about Bruce is that he's considered to be, generally speaking, a jolly decent bloke. However, as previously noted, this whole 'I'm a proud Geordie boy, me' thing really gets right on this blogger's tripe. Because, Steve some of us actually have memories longer than the average goldfish. We recall, for instance how, when your career was kicking off at Gillingham in the early 1980s, you had the opportunity to sign for the club you 'loved as a boy' but you chose to sign for Norwich City instead - presumably, because the wages were better. Some of us can also remember one or two very crass public statements you made when you were managing Blunderland about Newcastle fans allegedly 'lacking class.' Anyway, it has been widely reported this week that Newcastle were on the verge of appointing Bruce as their manager - which, many Newcastle fans of this blogger's acquaintance regard as yet another example of the colossal lack of ambition and 'make do' attitude of the club under its current owner. See also, Joe Kinnear, Alan Pardew, John Carver, Steve McClaren, et al. However, in the last couple of days, it has also been reported that Sheffield Wednesday are not particularly keen to let their current manager go and, even, that Newcastle hiring Bruce and his coaching staff could, potentially, cost them more in wages and a 'compensation package' than keeping Rafa The Gaffer and his staff would have. Another fine example of Newcastle's owner Mike Ashley's habit of, seemingly, knowing the cost of everything and the value of nothing. Bruce has, the Sun claim, told the Championship club he wants to quit Sheffield for Th' Toon. Well, of course he does, who wouldn't want to leave a job in the second tier of English football for the Premiership? However, Wednesday's owner, Thai tycoon Dejphon Chansiri, made sure that there was a compensation clause in Bruce's contract when he joined The Owls in January 'just in case a Premier League club came in for him,' the Sun states. Bruce, allegedly, held talks with Newcastle managing director Lee Charnley on Wednesday in Manchester. By Thursday lunchtime, those alleged to be 'in the know' (so, that was 'some people on Sky Sports,' basically) were 'confident' that an agreement would follow 'soon' and that Bruce would take charge of United's first team in their opening game in the Asian Cup against Wolves in China next Wednesday. Alleged 'sources' allegedly claim that Bruce and Charnley's alleged chat allegedly 'went well' and that Bruce was allegedly 'excited' about the St James’ Park job. But if he does get the job, has less than four weeks before the transfer window shuts and Newcastle are the only club in the Premier League yet to make any new signing. Bruce will also walk into a storm of barely concealed loathing at St James' with many fans utterly furious with Ashley over Bruce's imminent appointment and the replacement of someone who was as widely respected as Rafa with a journeyman with as little on his managerial CV to brag about as Bruce has. Although, his record of getting teams relegated to and then - one or two of them - promoted from the Championship may, one supposes, come in handy at Newcastle over the next couple of years. Still, one supposed it could have been worse. It could have been Sam Allardyce. And, according to Fat Sam himself, it almost was. As the NUFC.com website noted with sighing resignation, 'could this be any more embarrassing?' To which, of course, the answer is, 'don't say that, you'll only give Ashley ideas.'

A Chinese Takeaway

So, dear blog reader, Rafa Benitez has now left this blogger's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies for pastures new. From the North East, to the Far East. During and after his departure, Rafa conducted himself as he had done since the day he first walked into St James' Park, with dignity, with honesty and with class. Something which those who employed him have and continue to, seemingly, be unable to match. Or anything even remotely like it. Following the expiration of his contract at Newcastle on Sunday, Monday saw Rafa The (Former) Gaffer issue a public statement, acknowledging the support which that he has received from the stands and alluding to the lack of it from off the field. The Spaniard said he felt like he 'belonged' at the club and had wish to stay. But, Benitez indicated he had wanted a longer-term deal, rather than just a contract extension. 'It became increasingly clear to me that those at the top of the club did not share the same vision,' he said. No shit? And, we're what, surprised by this? 'I wanted to stay, but I didn't just want to sign an extended contract, I wanted to be part of a project,' said Benitez in his letter to fans. 'I'm very sad about that, but I do not regret for one moment my decision to come to Tyneside and I'm very proud about what we achieved together.'

On the same day, Rafa gave his first post-United interview - a similarly classy, dignified and revealing piece - with The Times, telling George Caulkin that he had left Newcastle United to manage in China because the club's owner, Mike Ashley's desire to keep him had 'waned' and that 'I lost trust at Newcastle. If those in charge had my ambition, I would still be there.' Interestingly, this occurred on the same day that those mendacious cowards responsible for Rafa's departure were - crassly and shamefully - making a late piss-poor attempt to shift the blame onto someone else.

Not all pre-season friendlies are all that 'friendly.' Charlton Athletic were preparing for their return to the Championship by facing Romanian top-flight side Gaz Metan Medias on Thursday in what was intended to be a seventy-minute game. However, the action didn't even last that long as the match was abandoned after forty nine minutes. George Lapslie had given The Addicks a one-nil lead in the first half when, just minutes into the second period, they were awarded a penalty. This sparked what the club's own report called 'extremely distasteful scenes' and what opthers described as 'a mass brawl with kids gettin' punched and aal sorts.' Medias pair Valentin Cretu and Marius Constantin reportedly man-handled the referee, Raul Mateo, who showed red cards to both men. But, the double dismissal reportedly 'enraged' Medias head coach Edward Iordanescu, whose staff pleaded with the referee to be allowed to make substitutions instead of having players dismissed. When the referee insisted on their departure from the pitch, Iordanescu got all stroppy and discombobulated and withdrew all his players and the game was abandoned. 'It's disappointing and never nice to see. Rightly so, the referee stopped the game,' Charlton manager Lee Bowyer - himself no stranger to a bit of argy-bargy, of course - said. 'It would have been good if we could have got a game that was a bit longer, but overall I'm happy because we got a bit of a run around. Thankfully now, for us, it's better that it's ended this way so we can do a tough double session tomorrow.'

The Argentine Football Association has whinged to South American football's governing body over the 'serious and gross refereeing errors' in their Copa America semi-final defeat by Brazil. Tournament hosts Brazil made the final with a two-nil win in Belo Horizonte. The official complaint to CONMEBOL follows Lionel Messi's claims of 'crazy officiating.' The Argentine FA also accuses Brazil's president Jair Bolsonaro of making a 'clear political demonstration.' AFA president Claudio Tapia sent a six-page letter to CONMEBOL in support of the team and Messi, who was particularly aggrieved that his side were not awarded a penalty by Ecuadorian referee Roddy Zambrano before Brazil's second goal. Speaking after the defeat, Barcelona forward Messi said: 'The officiating was crazy. There were clear penalties, on [Nicolas] Otamendi, on Kun [Sergio Aguero]. [The referee] was on their side. In every divided ball or dispute, he went their way.' Tapia said Zambrano 'unjustifiably omitted the use of VAR in at least two specific moves that clearly influenced the final result of the match.' He also questioned whether 'the principles of ethics, loyalty and transparency' had been observed during the match. South American news outlet GloboEsporte reported that Bolsonaro's security team had 'attempted to block signals,' which 'caused interference and communication failure' with the VAR system. However, the Brazilian local organising committee denied the presidential radio was the reason for the cut in communication with VAR and claimed the problem was resolved before kick-off. Far-right politician Bolsonaro - who performed 'an Olympic lap of honour around the stadium at half-time' - was voted in as El Presidente last October. Via, El President! Tapia pointed to FIFA and CONMEBOL rules that 'prohibit political demonstrations at a sports event.' Something the Argentines themselves might like to remember the next time someone things it's a good idea to have the team pose with a flag in support of reclaiming the Malvinas.

Great Britain will have a women's football team at the 2020 Olympics after England finished in the top three European teams at the World Cup. The four home nations agreed in October to allow a GB women's team to try to reach Tokyo, but qualification depended on England's progress in France. England manager Phil Neville says the 'plan' is for him to manage the team. 'It will be England led by me and my coaching staff and we have a fantastic pool of players to pick from,' he said. 'Not just the ones I manage here, but Wales, Scotland and [Northern] Ireland.' England beat Norway to reach the last four, while the USA beat France two-one on Friday to ensure there are only three European teams in the semis. There will be twelve teams at Tokyo 2020. There was no agreement for a British men's team in Japan - although they would have failed to qualify anyway. At London 2012, a women's team made their debut, with the men returning after forty years away - with the home nations agreeing to that as a one-off for the home Olympics. Both sides went out in the quarter-finals. No combined British team featured at Rio 2016, with the associations of Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales opposed to the idea. Last June, Neville said that fielding a Team GB team in Japan was 'absolutely fundamental' for the growth of the women's game. The Scottish FA, atypically, said that they will not 'actively support or promote' the side but will not prevent players being involved, while their Welsh counterparts said they will 'not align themselves politically' with the team. Unlike the men's event - which is an under-twenty three tournament - the Olympics is one of women's football's biggest events, with no age restrictions. The teams guaranteed a place are Great Britain, fellow semi-finalists the Netherlands and Sweden, hosts Japan, Copa America winners Brazil and Oceania champions New Zealand. The other spots will be filled by two qualifiers from each of Asia and the North, Central American and Caribbean group, as well as one from Africa and the winner of a play-off between Chile and an African team. Defending champions Germany won't be at the Olympics after they lost their World Cup quarter-final to Sweden.

Meanwhile, England ladygirls' World Cup semi-final defeat by the United States attracted the highest peak television audience of the year so far to BBC1 with 11.7 million overnight punters setting a new record for women's football in the UK. That was a fifty one per cent share of the available audience and smashed the previous best for a women's socherball game - 7.6 million for England's quarter-final win over Norway. England play will Sweden or the Netherlands in Saturday's third-place play-off. The USA take on the winner of that semi-final in Sunday's final after their two-one victory over England when Steph Houghton's arse fell out and she missed a late penalty. Afterwards, Big Steph said she thought she had 'let the team down.' Not just the team, Steph but, in fact, the whole country. But, don't worry about it, you're not the first and you won't be the last. And, besides, we're English, we crave disappointment as a matter of principle. And, as a bonus, you will have immeasurably brightened the lives of everyone North of the border after their own team's earlier, highly amusing, exit from the competition. The 11.7 million figure is the year's top audience based on a five-minute peak, as the semi-final attracted an average audience of 10.3 million. Episode one of BBC1's Line Of Duty remains the most watched programme overall of 2019 so far with a consolidated audience of 13.2 million punters based on twenty eight-day viewing data.

You Couldn't Make It Up

Rafael Benitez's - with hindsight, utterly inevitable - departure from this blogger's beloved (though still, tragically, unsellable) Newcastle United will leave the long-suffering Toon Army nursing an acute and bitter sense of betrayal. And - if this is actually even possible - widen the already gaping chasm of outright loathing between themselves and the club's owner, Mike Ashley. Some Magpies supporters began Monday of this week publicising a 'Rafa Appreciation Week' as the clock ran down on Rafa The Gaffer's contract, due to expire on Sunday, only to end the day organising a, rather forlorn and utterly meaningless, 'protest' at the Sir Bobby Robson statue at St James' Park as Rafa prepared to clear out his desk. Only at Newcastle, dear blog reader. 'We have worked hard to extend Rafa's contract over a significant period of time. However, it has not been - and will not be - possible to reach an agreement with Rafa and his representatives,' the club claimed in a statement. One or two people even believed them. 'Rafa's coaching staff, Paco de Míguel Moreno, Antonio Gómez Perez and Mikel Antia, will also leave the club on 30 June. We would like to thank Rafa and his coaching team for their efforts over the last three years and their significant contribution to what has been collectively achieved.' The inclusion of the word 'collectively' was, understandably, met with utter derision on Tyneside. 'We would also like to thank our supporters, players and staff for their patience during a period of uncertainty.' One is sure that the vast majority of Newcastle's long-suffering supporters, players and staff would, collectively, like to tell the club's hierarchy exactly where they can shove their bland offer of 'thanks'. 'The process to appoint a successor will now begin,' they concluded. Which, one imagines, will be a right good laugh and, at the same time, a painful exercise in the blind leading the blind. This was the latest, devastating, blow to the club's loyal-to-the-borders-of-stupidity support as a manager whom they trusted to the point of hero-worship simply could not find enough common ground with Ashley to contemplate staying on Tyneside. Or, far more likely, Ashley had made Rafa, to paraphrase Don Corleone,  'an offer he couldn't accept.' This blogger will leave it up to you to form an opinion on that one, dear blog reader. Thus, a week before the new pre-season starts, the club has announced that Benitez's contract will not be renewed. Unbelievable, but sadly inevitable given the lack of positivity which has been coming out of Barrack Road all summer long. With the benefit of hindsight, this blogger thinks all fans should have probably worked out where this was heading as soon as the much heralded 'talks' between Rafa and Ashley, held soon after last season finished in the second week of May, didn't produce the announcement of the signing of a new contract within days. All talks of potential takeovers have gone suspiciously quiet - as they have done on least a dozen occasions before during the previous decade - and, with pre-season due to start next Monday, this leaves the club in limbo ahead of what will, surely, be another battle-to-avoid-relegation campaign. The club's biggest asset has gone leaving a squad which is already woefully weak with players already leaving and several more expected to follow or to be agitating for moves out of this toxic swamp in the coming weeks.

Benitez and Ashley always seemed the most unlikely of marriages since they came together in March 2016, following the sacking of Ashley's last, disastrous, appointment, Steve McClaren. The Spaniard has never been shy of engaging in political manoeuvring; he proved that with his sometimes fractious relationships with those above him at several clubs. At Valencia, he made his infamous 'I hoped for a sofa and they bought me a lamp' quote over the club's transfer policy whilst, at Liverpool, many inside Anfield reportedly felt no matter what level of control and finance he was handed, he would have wanted more. Ashley, meanwhile, is the billionaire who runs a club he bought - seemingly hoping for a quick resale and profit but without bothering to do any due diligence and thus didn't realise either the size of the debt the club's previous ownership had run up or the fact that a credit crunch was just around the corner and the days of rich men buying Premier League football clubs as their playthings was about to be a thing of the past - his own way. He is someone who cedes control to no-one, helped by a skin so thick that it is hard to think of any owner of any football club in the world so utterly unmoved by dissent, discontent or outright hatred from supporters. In fact, to be frank, the biggest surprise is that Ashley and Benitez have lasted so long together. The public relations battle, of course, is a no contest. Benitez is - and will continue to be - seen by the club's supporters and by the media as a manager of no little tactical brilliance who has had Newcastle punching well above their weight for the last two seasons, with Ashley viewed as the quasi comedy villain who has claimed another backstabbing victim to go in the cupboard alongside Kevin Keegan, Alan Shearer and Chris Hughton. A tenure of abysmal failure and unmitigated disaster has, it would seem, hit a new low. Even the most pessimistic and hardened United supporters couldn't have envisaged as shambolic a summer as this, but we really should have since we've had plenty of previous experience. Who can blame Rafa and his colleagues for walking away? He had comparatively little to work with in terms of transfer funds and playing squads and each successful survival was something of a minor miracle. During his time at Newcastle, Benitez managed to re-unite an, at times openly mutinous, fanbase behind his team - who, despite some limitations at least appears to have a pride in the shirt - and succeeded in legitimising the club in football circles, giving The Magpies a measure of direction, respectability and even a splash self-respect, something which Newcastle had precious little of during the tenures of most previous Ashley appointees. The multiple messages of support from current squad players on social media to and about Benitez reflects the depth of feeling for him and the disquiet - within the club as well as outside of it - over his loss. The deal offered to him was almost certainly deliberately designed to engineer his exit - with no room for negotiation - and his departure, once again, makes Newcastle appear to be both directionless and foolish. It has been reported that Benitez himself had no prior knowledge of Monday's announcement until an acquaintance contacted him to say that the news of his departure was being broadcast on Sky Sports News. Another example of atypically classy behaviour from those running the club. Ashley's business model is, it is alleged, that Newcastle is a club which must 'look after itself financially'; but Benitez was not happy with a summer transfer budget, reportedly of between fifty and sixty million smackers plus any money raised from sales, or at least how he would be able to spend it. Ashley reportedly wants a young squad - players with potential sell-on value - and it was very unlikely any long-term contracts would be sanctioned with players aged in their late twenties - a significant bone of contention for Benitez who wished to mix youth with experience in his squad. As the former Newcastle player Joey Barton commented when leaving the club in 2011, Ashley is a businessman - a very successful one, as it happens - and, like many businessmen 'he knows the cost of everything but the value of nothing.' The owner did loosen the purse strings enough to break the club's decade-old transfer record to sign Paraguayan playmaker Miguel Almiron from MLS side Atlanta United for twenty million knicker in January. But, even this rare show of financial boldness failed to persuade Benitez, who wanted to push the club into the top ten of the Premiership, that it would become the norm. He has always wanted a measure of control over the clubs he manages - with some justification, many would argue, given his track record of success, his stature and vast experience - but it would surely not have come as a huge surprise that Ashley was disinclined to give ground. The Spaniard is also likely to have had doubts about whether Newcastle would offer the sort of contracts to attract the calibre of player he wanted to move the team forward, while an upgrade on the club's training infrastructure, another long-running source of concern, had not been addressed. Throw a failure to agree on transfer finance, contracts, control and infrastructure into the melting pot and the relationship between an intransigent, immovable owner and a manager demanding what he was never likely to get was always going to unsustainable.

Ashley and Newcastle can insist they have been trying to get Benitez's signature for well over a year, but the offer of a one-year contract on his current reported six million quid-a-year terms failed to break the impasse. Newcastle may try to argue that they would be right to display a reluctance to hand out long-term deals to players working under a manager only committed for the next twelve months. Once again, one or two people might buy that argument. But not many. As the NUFC.com website noted, in disgust: 'The contempt shown for the fans by the owner is, again, bordering on the criminal. It wasn't our fault he inherited a club with massive debts and we had nothing to do with his recent Debenhams debacle. All self-inflicted but his anger is seemingly taken out on us. Any anti-Ashley chants were brought on by his own ineptitude and mismanagement but instead of making amends, in true barrow-boy fashion, he cuts his nose off to spite his face with petty acts of revenge.' What is beyond question in that Benitez has been a force for good at Newcastle. He restored them to the Premier League in 2017 after having been brought into the club too late to prevent relegation the previous season then followed that with respectable finishes of tenth in 2018 and thirteenth last term. He also, as he did at Liverpool, tapped into the sort of language that Newcastle fans understand, portraying himself as the man on their side, a boast which Ashley could never make. This meant, as Benitez walked around St James' Park surrounded by players and families after the last home game of what turned into his final campaign, there was a hope - albeit, as slim one - that Ashley might find the wriggle room to give Newcastle's supporters and the manager what they wanted. History should have told us all we were deluding ourselves. For Ashley, however, this is another highly damaging episode which can only reduce his standing with Newcastle's support even further; not that Ashley seems at all bothered about that. Indeed, many suspect he appears to enjoy courting bad-feeling and deliberately pissing people off; his decision to rename St James' Park after his odious sportwear company in 2011 aptly proved. All of this nonsense has been conducted against a backdrop of the latest proposed - or, should that be 'alleged'? - takeover project involving United Arab Emirates billionaire Sheikh Khaled bin Zayed Al Nahyan's investment group. A rather facial situation which has, surely, only got as much publicity as it has as a means to get supporters to renew their - price-significantly-adjusted-for-inflation - season tickets (the closing date for which is next week, as a matter of pure disinterest). Ashley's past behaviour suggests he still will plough on with what he wants to do regardless of how many people he upsets or how many gather around Sir Bobby Robson's statue or demonstrate outside Sports Direct on Northumberland Street. The BBC claims that 'the proposed takeover will not, according to those involved, be affected by Benitez's departure - but that has all gone quiet in recent weeks.' Beware, dear blog reader, Arabs bearing gifts. Or, indeed, remember that old maxim 'be careful what you wish for, it might come true.' The number of Newcastle fans who have been heard excited exclaiming variants on 'great, a billionaire is coming to save us from the clown ruining out club' makes this blogger wonder whether this is 2019 or 2007 since he can recalled the same sort of things being said when Ashley was the saviour and the late Freddie Shepherd the despised tyrant needing to be shown the door. Plus ca change, plus ca la meme choice. The next item on the agenda is a new manager, with pre-season training looming and bookies - of course - wasting no time in making a Benitez-less Newcastle favourites for relegation, seemingly with much glee. The list of names being touted around will hardly have fans heading doon Th' Bigg Market in celebration. But, it doesn't really matter which desperate out-of-work plank Ashley picks for the gig, the fact that he will be The Not-Rafa will, surely, doom the tenure of whoever-it-is to dissatisfaction and rancour from Day One. It's Brian Clough coming after Don Revie. David Moyes after Sir Alex Ferguson. Or, to put it another way, it's Chris Evans replacing Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear. It's Be Here Now following (What's The Story) Morning Glory? It's The Godfather III coming after The Godfather II! Whoever gets the job is, like all of the above, on an absolute hiding to nothing whether they're good, bad or indifferent. Sheikh Yer Man City's assistant manager Mikel Arteta is reported to be an early favourite with the bookmakers but why on Earth would he leave the Premier League champions for the abject chaos of Tyneside? The money can't be that good? Jose Mourinho has been mentioned but this is surely a fantasy unless a takeover does go ahead and the former Moscow Chelski and The Scum boss is given guarantees of untold millions to spend and the complete control he has always enjoyed at his previous clubs. And, while Ashley would probably love to appoint someone like Eddie Howe or Sean Dyche, why would either of those highly regarded young managers risk their reputation in a toxic environment when they had such control and popularity at Bournemouth and Burnley respectively? Whoever accepts this role - and, remember, Ashley's previous appointments have included rotten non-entities such as McClaren, Alan Pardew, John Carver and Joe Kinnear. Twice - will have a hard (for which read impossible) act to follow in the hearts of most - if not all - Newcastle's fans. Ashley has failed to keep arguably the best manager he will ever have - one who could have taken the heat away from his office because he is so beloved by supporters and one who actually gave Newcastle some gravitas with his record of managing clubs such as Valencia, Liverpool, Inter Milan, Moscow Chelski FC, Napoli and Real Madrid. This may not matter to Ashley - indeed, it seems not to - as his sole aim appears to be keeping the club in the Premier League (something his previous appointees have, twice, failed to do during his decade at St James') until such a time as can find some joker to pay him three hundred and fifty million knicker to take it off his hands. If he ever does.

And what of Benitez? He, reportedly, has a twelve million knicker-a-year (and as much chow mien as you can eat) offer from the Chinese Super League Club Dalian Yifang on the table. But, this is a manager who has insisted his vision is to make progress at clubs of stature, putting them in the place where they deserve to be. The big jobs in Europe which Benitez will believe fit his profile are not currently available - except for Moscow Chelski and it's doubtful he'd wish to return there - but is China really where the fifty nine-year-old, whose family still live on Merseyside, wants to take himself at this point in his career? As usual, however, the biggest losers in all of this fiasco are Newcastle's fans as they digest the latest sorry episode in the scarcely credible soap opera that is their club.