Naughty little scallywag Luis Suarez has been suspended from 'all football-related activity' for four months for biting Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini. Whether that includes watching matches on telly, doing keepy-ups in the garden on his own or playing Subbuteo is not, at this time, entirely clear. The Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws player has also been banned for nine international matches for Uruguay, ruling him out of the rest of the 2014 World Cup. He will also miss the first nine games of the Premier League season and the opening rounds of both the Champions League and the Capital One Cup. The incident occurred during Tuesday in the Group D game, which Uruguay won to qualify for the last sixteen. Suarez has also been fined one hundred thousand Swiss francs. The ban is the largest in World Cup history, beating the eight games given to Italy's Mauro Tassotti for elbowing Spain's Luis Enrique in 1994. 
'Such behaviour cannot be tolerated on any football pitch and, in particular, not at a FIFA World Cup when the eyes of millions of people are on the stars on the field,' Claudio Sulser, chairman of the FIFA disciplinary committee, said in a statement. Suarez's first match back for Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws could be in round four of the Capital One Cup, with matches due to take place in the week commencing 27 October. Suarez has now been found guilty of biting three opponents during his career. He was banned for ten games for biting Moscow Chelski FC's Branislav Ivanovic during a Premier League match in 2013 and was also suspended for seven games for biting PSV Eindhoven's Otman Bakkal in 2010 when he was playing for Ajax. His ban includes 'all football-relate activity', including presumably, training. He also had a total worldwide stadium ban for the same four month period. Under the terms of the ban, Suarez is prohibited from entering the confines of any stadium during the period of his suspension, even just for a look around. FIFA, however, did stop short of telling him that he must sit in silence and 'think about what he's done.' However, Liverpool would not be prevented from selling the player this summer should they decide to offload him to another club. Uruguay say that they will appeal, calling it an 'excessive decision' for which 'there was not enough evidence.'
Thomas Müller was, once again, the difference as Germany qualified as winners of Group G with victory over the United States, who also reached the last sixteen. The Bayern München forward scored his ninth World Cup goal in as many games to give Germany a routine win at a rain-soaked Arena Pernambuco in Recife. The rate at which Müuller is scoring in World Cup games is matched only by Pele, who also found the net nine times in his first nine matches in the tournament. The twenty four-year-old German is now just six goals behind the all-time scoring record, which is jointly held by Müller's team-mate, Miroslav Klose and former Brazilian striker Ronaldo. This was a frustrating afternoon for the United States and their travelling army of fans. They failed to force Germany goalkeeper Manuel Neuer to make any save of note but nevertheless their qualification was assured by Portugal's 2-1 victory over Ghana in Brasilia. The US will now travel to Salvador to take on the much-fancied Belgians on Tuesday. Germany will play Algeria, the runners up of Group H in Porto Alegre on Monday. Before the game, much had been made of the suggestion that both sides might play for a convenient draw that would take each of them through.
But with US coach Jürgen Klinsmann, who previously managed Germany, facing off against his protégé Joachim Löw, neither team took a backward step from the first whistle. Germany, playing their familiar passing game at a patient tempo, carved out a series of early chances. On three occasions defender Jérôme Boateng found space wide on the right flank and fizzed fierce low crosses into the penalty area, while The Arse's Mesut Özil came closest to scoring, stepping away from Matt Besler's challenge to test the Merkins goalkeeper Tim Howard. Germany had to wait until the fifty fifth minute to make the breakthrough, however, having seen Özil and substitute Klose go, ahem, closer It was a cross by the former that created the goal with The Arse team-mate Per Mertesacker heading powerfully at goal and forcing Howard to push the ball into the path of Müller, who scored. The United States did show spells that suggest they will not be easy to beat in this tournament. Michael Bradley was at the heart of their best work, setting the tone with his tenacity in the tackle and his ability to keep possession under intense pressure. The Toronto midfielder created the USA's best chance of the game, finding Kansas City forward Graham Zusi, whose shot curled narrowly over the bar, but Bradley's touch let him down just as a shooting opportunity presented itself moments before half-time. The midfielder allowed his frustrations to get the better of him as he caught Müller with his studs raised and was fortunate to escape a booking. After half-time the USA improved. Alejandro Bedoya saw a shot blocked after a fluent move down the USA right, while Clint Dempsey headed just over late on. And although Germany closed out the game, when the result was confirmed in Brasilia, the Merkins also, ultimately, had something to celebrate.
Cristiano Ronaldo's second-half winner gave Portugal a 2-1 victory over Ghana, but the result means that neither team progress to the World Cup's last sixteen and Ronaldo left the field scowling all over his miserable boat race. Which was funny. Ghana defender John Boye gifted Portugal the lead when he turned a cross into his own net, but Asamoah Gyan headed in an equaliser. Ronaldo capitalised on a poor clearance to sweep home and give Portugal hope. But they could not find the three more goals they needed to prevent the United States advancing on goal difference. Which was very funny. Ronaldo's goal was his first in what was ultimately a disappointing tournament for a player who had scored fifty one times in forty seven appearances for Real Madrid last season.
The twenty nine-year-old, who has suffered from knee and thigh injuries, failed to replicate the influence he had at club level as Portugal lost heavily in their opening group game against Germany, before a draw with USA left them needing to win by a large scoreline against Ghana to progress. While Portugal's problems have solely been on the pitch, Ghana's preparations were hampered by chaos behind the scene. Midfielders Sulley Muntari and Kevin-Prince Boateng were expelled from the squad for alleged indiscipline - although Muntari would have missed the Portugal game anyway through suspension after picking up yellow cards in their first two games - while players had even threatened to boycott the Portugal fixture because of a row over appearance fees. Muntari and Boateng were expelled for alleged indiscipline. A statement on the Ghana Football Association website claimed that both players had 'been suspended indefinitely.' It added that Boateng had used 'vulgar verbal insults targeted at coach Kwesi Appiah', while Muntari delivered an 'unprovoked physical attack on an executive committee member.'
Ten-man Belgium beat South Korea to top their World Cup group and set up a second round tie against the United States. South Korea needed a win from the game so the onus was on them to attack and they were helped when Steven Defour was sent off for a reckless, studs-up tackle on Kim Shin-Wook. A Son Heung-Min cross struck the face of the Belgium crossbar but the Asian side struggled to create chances. And Jan Vertonghen scored The Red Devils' winner when he slotted in after a Divock Origi shot was parried. Belgium have been criticised for a lack of flair so far in the tournament, but there is little question about their resilience as they have let in just one goal in three games and are unbeaten in their last thirteen competitive matches. Their victory - the first time The Red Devils have won three group games at a World Cup - eliminated a Korean side who lacked a cutting edge to go with their endeavour. South Korea boss Hong Myung-Bo apologised to his country's fans after their 4-2 defeat by Algeria in their previous match and his side began with the greater urgency in Sao Paulo.
However, Hong's side might have conceded a spot-kick when Kim Young-Gwon cynically blocked Anthony Vanen Borre in an offence which began outside the box and continued inside the penalty area. And despite all South Korea's early effort they should have gone behind when a Kevin Mirallas shot broke for Dries Mertens, only for the Belgium midfielder to sidefoot high from eight yards with just the keeper to beat. Hong's side tried to respond, with Ki Sung-Yeung's twenty five-yarder being turned around the post by keeper Thibaut Courtois. From the resulting corner a header back across goal came off Belgium defender Nicolas Lombaerts before being hacked off the line by Defour. That was almost the last action of the match for Defour as he was soon sent off for a dangerous studs-up tackle which caught Kim on his shin. With South Korea having the numerical advantage Hong brought on forward Lee Keunho for midfielder Han Kook-Young at half-time. The substitute striker almost had an immediate impact as he had a shot blocked before heading a cross over, while a Son cross struck the face of the crossbar. South Korea's need to attack left them exposed at the back and Belgium took advantage. Origi had looked lively for Belgium after coming on as a substitute and, after his twenty-yard strike being parried by keeper Kim Seung-Gyu, Vertonghen reacted quickest to slot in the winner.
Algeria came from behind to draw with Russia and reach the World Cup last sixteen for the first time. Yer actual Fabio Capello saw his Russia side take an early lead when an unmarked Aleksandr Kokorin headed in from Dmitri Kombarov's left-wing cross. But Algeria grabbed an equaliser in the second half as Islam Slimani converted from Yacine Brahimi's free-kick. Russia could not score a winning goal as Algeria held on to secure a historically fascinating tie with Germany in the second round on Monday. However, the North Africans' equaliser was a controversial one as television pictures showed a laser from the crowd had been shone in the face of Russian goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev moments before the goal. Nevertheless, the CSKA Moscow custodian will be unhappy with the concession as he came off his line to try to intercept Brahimi's delivery but failed to get there ahead of Slimani. The goalkeeper had also made a costly error in his side's opening 1-1 draw with South Korea as he let a shot from Lee Keun-Ho slip through his fingers and into the net. So, like as not, it'll be off to the salt mines with him when he gets back home.
Those dropped points proved decisive as Algeria, who failed to advance past the first phase in 1982, 1986 and 2010, joined Group H winners Belgium in the next round. Capello had guided England into the last sixteen in South Africa four years ago - in the most depressingly awful manner imaginable - but his Russia side failed to win any of their three group games in Brazil. They only found the net twice and did not have the cutting edge to score another against the Algerians, despite piling on the pressure in the closing stages. The Russians - who will host the 2018 finals - knew a victory would put them through to the second round and they made a perfect start as they took the lead in the sixth minute. Viktor Fayzulin released Kombarov and his cross was met by Kokorin, who powered a header from twelve yards past goalkeeper Rais M'bolhi. Algeria fought their way back into the game, but Akinfeev saved weak efforts from Djamel Mesbah and Brahimi and was also well placed to block Slimani's powerful header from close range. Russia almost doubled their lead three minutes into the second half, but Aleksandr Samedov was denied by M'bolhi after linking up with Kokorin. But Slimani, who scored in Algeria's impressive 4-2 victory against South Korea on Sunday, equalised on the hour with what turned out to be the most important goal in their history. Russia pushed forward in a desperate attempt to get the goal that would have taken them into the last 16 for the first time since the break-up of the old Soviet Union. Their best chance fell to Aleksandr Kerzhakov, but his low attempt was saved by M'bolhi as Algeria held on for a historic result. 'The goalkeeper was unable to do his job. The laser beam was in his face,' said Capello after the match. 'He was blinded by the laser beam. It is not an excuse. There are pictures and you can see that in the footage.' Capello, who confronted the officials at the end of the match, has now only won one of his seven games at two World Cups. Asked whether he would stay in charge of Russia, Capello replied: 'If they still want me, yes.'
Yer man Danny Baker has criticised the amount of former footballers as pundits currently on TV. The broadcaster described football punditry as 'a bogus science' and said that the type of contributors on the BBC and ITV at this year's World Cup are not reflecting the interests of fans. Baker - who presents a World Cup show on BT Sport - told Radio Times: 'Anyone who takes football in any degree seriously and treats it like a science that we study - mainly the people who sit on sofas on mainstream television like Mount Rushmore and pore over this stuff like Nostradamus like you can predict it, are wrong. It's the same old thing. Football punditry is the most bogus science. You know, [England] are not the best team in the world, but it is very hard to say consistently who is. Football's chaos. If we played the World Cup again next week, we probably wouldn't get the same results and we might do well. You cannot predict it.' Talking about ex-footballers dominating the TV line-ups, he said: 'It's not really about four-five-ones and all these terrible things journalists and ex-pros go on about.
And that's the trouble with too many ex-pros doing football coverage. They'd rather have someone who can barely speak English just because they're an inspirational ex-footballer than someone who can enlighten and entertain. It is an extraordinary closed club.' However, he praised Match Of The Day host Gary Lineker, describing him as 'one of the best broadcasters in the world', but that he 'sometimes gets saddled with people who don't match the energy of the games.' Baker added that footballers have criticised professional broadcasters who have never played the sport, responding: 'They're quite willing to walk into my industry and assume they can do that.' He said: 'I think having exclusively footballers punditing football matches makes as much sense as having actors review films. As far as I know, the BBC doesn't have actors reviewing films because they used to be in them, but that applies to football for some reason, you know. It makes as much sense as replacing Mark Kermode with Tim Roth.'
Alberto Zaccheroni has quit as Japan coach after his side failed to reach the last sixteen. The Italian, who replaced Takeshi Okada in 2010, had said originally he would wait until he returned to Japan before considering his future. Zaccheroni's side finished bottom of Group C and collected just one point.
'Such behaviour cannot be tolerated on any football pitch and, in particular, not at a FIFA World Cup when the eyes of millions of people are on the stars on the field,' Claudio Sulser, chairman of the FIFA disciplinary committee, said in a statement. Suarez's first match back for Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws could be in round four of the Capital One Cup, with matches due to take place in the week commencing 27 October. Suarez has now been found guilty of biting three opponents during his career. He was banned for ten games for biting Moscow Chelski FC's Branislav Ivanovic during a Premier League match in 2013 and was also suspended for seven games for biting PSV Eindhoven's Otman Bakkal in 2010 when he was playing for Ajax. His ban includes 'all football-relate activity', including presumably, training. He also had a total worldwide stadium ban for the same four month period. Under the terms of the ban, Suarez is prohibited from entering the confines of any stadium during the period of his suspension, even just for a look around. FIFA, however, did stop short of telling him that he must sit in silence and 'think about what he's done.' However, Liverpool would not be prevented from selling the player this summer should they decide to offload him to another club. Uruguay say that they will appeal, calling it an 'excessive decision' for which 'there was not enough evidence.' Thomas Müller was, once again, the difference as Germany qualified as winners of Group G with victory over the United States, who also reached the last sixteen. The Bayern München forward scored his ninth World Cup goal in as many games to give Germany a routine win at a rain-soaked Arena Pernambuco in Recife. The rate at which Müuller is scoring in World Cup games is matched only by Pele, who also found the net nine times in his first nine matches in the tournament. The twenty four-year-old German is now just six goals behind the all-time scoring record, which is jointly held by Müller's team-mate, Miroslav Klose and former Brazilian striker Ronaldo. This was a frustrating afternoon for the United States and their travelling army of fans. They failed to force Germany goalkeeper Manuel Neuer to make any save of note but nevertheless their qualification was assured by Portugal's 2-1 victory over Ghana in Brasilia. The US will now travel to Salvador to take on the much-fancied Belgians on Tuesday. Germany will play Algeria, the runners up of Group H in Porto Alegre on Monday. Before the game, much had been made of the suggestion that both sides might play for a convenient draw that would take each of them through.
But with US coach Jürgen Klinsmann, who previously managed Germany, facing off against his protégé Joachim Löw, neither team took a backward step from the first whistle. Germany, playing their familiar passing game at a patient tempo, carved out a series of early chances. On three occasions defender Jérôme Boateng found space wide on the right flank and fizzed fierce low crosses into the penalty area, while The Arse's Mesut Özil came closest to scoring, stepping away from Matt Besler's challenge to test the Merkins goalkeeper Tim Howard. Germany had to wait until the fifty fifth minute to make the breakthrough, however, having seen Özil and substitute Klose go, ahem, closer It was a cross by the former that created the goal with The Arse team-mate Per Mertesacker heading powerfully at goal and forcing Howard to push the ball into the path of Müller, who scored. The United States did show spells that suggest they will not be easy to beat in this tournament. Michael Bradley was at the heart of their best work, setting the tone with his tenacity in the tackle and his ability to keep possession under intense pressure. The Toronto midfielder created the USA's best chance of the game, finding Kansas City forward Graham Zusi, whose shot curled narrowly over the bar, but Bradley's touch let him down just as a shooting opportunity presented itself moments before half-time. The midfielder allowed his frustrations to get the better of him as he caught Müller with his studs raised and was fortunate to escape a booking. After half-time the USA improved. Alejandro Bedoya saw a shot blocked after a fluent move down the USA right, while Clint Dempsey headed just over late on. And although Germany closed out the game, when the result was confirmed in Brasilia, the Merkins also, ultimately, had something to celebrate. Cristiano Ronaldo's second-half winner gave Portugal a 2-1 victory over Ghana, but the result means that neither team progress to the World Cup's last sixteen and Ronaldo left the field scowling all over his miserable boat race. Which was funny. Ghana defender John Boye gifted Portugal the lead when he turned a cross into his own net, but Asamoah Gyan headed in an equaliser. Ronaldo capitalised on a poor clearance to sweep home and give Portugal hope. But they could not find the three more goals they needed to prevent the United States advancing on goal difference. Which was very funny. Ronaldo's goal was his first in what was ultimately a disappointing tournament for a player who had scored fifty one times in forty seven appearances for Real Madrid last season.
The twenty nine-year-old, who has suffered from knee and thigh injuries, failed to replicate the influence he had at club level as Portugal lost heavily in their opening group game against Germany, before a draw with USA left them needing to win by a large scoreline against Ghana to progress. While Portugal's problems have solely been on the pitch, Ghana's preparations were hampered by chaos behind the scene. Midfielders Sulley Muntari and Kevin-Prince Boateng were expelled from the squad for alleged indiscipline - although Muntari would have missed the Portugal game anyway through suspension after picking up yellow cards in their first two games - while players had even threatened to boycott the Portugal fixture because of a row over appearance fees. Muntari and Boateng were expelled for alleged indiscipline. A statement on the Ghana Football Association website claimed that both players had 'been suspended indefinitely.' It added that Boateng had used 'vulgar verbal insults targeted at coach Kwesi Appiah', while Muntari delivered an 'unprovoked physical attack on an executive committee member.' Ten-man Belgium beat South Korea to top their World Cup group and set up a second round tie against the United States. South Korea needed a win from the game so the onus was on them to attack and they were helped when Steven Defour was sent off for a reckless, studs-up tackle on Kim Shin-Wook. A Son Heung-Min cross struck the face of the Belgium crossbar but the Asian side struggled to create chances. And Jan Vertonghen scored The Red Devils' winner when he slotted in after a Divock Origi shot was parried. Belgium have been criticised for a lack of flair so far in the tournament, but there is little question about their resilience as they have let in just one goal in three games and are unbeaten in their last thirteen competitive matches. Their victory - the first time The Red Devils have won three group games at a World Cup - eliminated a Korean side who lacked a cutting edge to go with their endeavour. South Korea boss Hong Myung-Bo apologised to his country's fans after their 4-2 defeat by Algeria in their previous match and his side began with the greater urgency in Sao Paulo.
However, Hong's side might have conceded a spot-kick when Kim Young-Gwon cynically blocked Anthony Vanen Borre in an offence which began outside the box and continued inside the penalty area. And despite all South Korea's early effort they should have gone behind when a Kevin Mirallas shot broke for Dries Mertens, only for the Belgium midfielder to sidefoot high from eight yards with just the keeper to beat. Hong's side tried to respond, with Ki Sung-Yeung's twenty five-yarder being turned around the post by keeper Thibaut Courtois. From the resulting corner a header back across goal came off Belgium defender Nicolas Lombaerts before being hacked off the line by Defour. That was almost the last action of the match for Defour as he was soon sent off for a dangerous studs-up tackle which caught Kim on his shin. With South Korea having the numerical advantage Hong brought on forward Lee Keunho for midfielder Han Kook-Young at half-time. The substitute striker almost had an immediate impact as he had a shot blocked before heading a cross over, while a Son cross struck the face of the crossbar. South Korea's need to attack left them exposed at the back and Belgium took advantage. Origi had looked lively for Belgium after coming on as a substitute and, after his twenty-yard strike being parried by keeper Kim Seung-Gyu, Vertonghen reacted quickest to slot in the winner. Algeria came from behind to draw with Russia and reach the World Cup last sixteen for the first time. Yer actual Fabio Capello saw his Russia side take an early lead when an unmarked Aleksandr Kokorin headed in from Dmitri Kombarov's left-wing cross. But Algeria grabbed an equaliser in the second half as Islam Slimani converted from Yacine Brahimi's free-kick. Russia could not score a winning goal as Algeria held on to secure a historically fascinating tie with Germany in the second round on Monday. However, the North Africans' equaliser was a controversial one as television pictures showed a laser from the crowd had been shone in the face of Russian goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev moments before the goal. Nevertheless, the CSKA Moscow custodian will be unhappy with the concession as he came off his line to try to intercept Brahimi's delivery but failed to get there ahead of Slimani. The goalkeeper had also made a costly error in his side's opening 1-1 draw with South Korea as he let a shot from Lee Keun-Ho slip through his fingers and into the net. So, like as not, it'll be off to the salt mines with him when he gets back home.
Those dropped points proved decisive as Algeria, who failed to advance past the first phase in 1982, 1986 and 2010, joined Group H winners Belgium in the next round. Capello had guided England into the last sixteen in South Africa four years ago - in the most depressingly awful manner imaginable - but his Russia side failed to win any of their three group games in Brazil. They only found the net twice and did not have the cutting edge to score another against the Algerians, despite piling on the pressure in the closing stages. The Russians - who will host the 2018 finals - knew a victory would put them through to the second round and they made a perfect start as they took the lead in the sixth minute. Viktor Fayzulin released Kombarov and his cross was met by Kokorin, who powered a header from twelve yards past goalkeeper Rais M'bolhi. Algeria fought their way back into the game, but Akinfeev saved weak efforts from Djamel Mesbah and Brahimi and was also well placed to block Slimani's powerful header from close range. Russia almost doubled their lead three minutes into the second half, but Aleksandr Samedov was denied by M'bolhi after linking up with Kokorin. But Slimani, who scored in Algeria's impressive 4-2 victory against South Korea on Sunday, equalised on the hour with what turned out to be the most important goal in their history. Russia pushed forward in a desperate attempt to get the goal that would have taken them into the last 16 for the first time since the break-up of the old Soviet Union. Their best chance fell to Aleksandr Kerzhakov, but his low attempt was saved by M'bolhi as Algeria held on for a historic result. 'The goalkeeper was unable to do his job. The laser beam was in his face,' said Capello after the match. 'He was blinded by the laser beam. It is not an excuse. There are pictures and you can see that in the footage.' Capello, who confronted the officials at the end of the match, has now only won one of his seven games at two World Cups. Asked whether he would stay in charge of Russia, Capello replied: 'If they still want me, yes.' Yer man Danny Baker has criticised the amount of former footballers as pundits currently on TV. The broadcaster described football punditry as 'a bogus science' and said that the type of contributors on the BBC and ITV at this year's World Cup are not reflecting the interests of fans. Baker - who presents a World Cup show on BT Sport - told Radio Times: 'Anyone who takes football in any degree seriously and treats it like a science that we study - mainly the people who sit on sofas on mainstream television like Mount Rushmore and pore over this stuff like Nostradamus like you can predict it, are wrong. It's the same old thing. Football punditry is the most bogus science. You know, [England] are not the best team in the world, but it is very hard to say consistently who is. Football's chaos. If we played the World Cup again next week, we probably wouldn't get the same results and we might do well. You cannot predict it.' Talking about ex-footballers dominating the TV line-ups, he said: 'It's not really about four-five-ones and all these terrible things journalists and ex-pros go on about.
And that's the trouble with too many ex-pros doing football coverage. They'd rather have someone who can barely speak English just because they're an inspirational ex-footballer than someone who can enlighten and entertain. It is an extraordinary closed club.' However, he praised Match Of The Day host Gary Lineker, describing him as 'one of the best broadcasters in the world', but that he 'sometimes gets saddled with people who don't match the energy of the games.' Baker added that footballers have criticised professional broadcasters who have never played the sport, responding: 'They're quite willing to walk into my industry and assume they can do that.' He said: 'I think having exclusively footballers punditing football matches makes as much sense as having actors review films. As far as I know, the BBC doesn't have actors reviewing films because they used to be in them, but that applies to football for some reason, you know. It makes as much sense as replacing Mark Kermode with Tim Roth.' Alberto Zaccheroni has quit as Japan coach after his side failed to reach the last sixteen. The Italian, who replaced Takeshi Okada in 2010, had said originally he would wait until he returned to Japan before considering his future. Zaccheroni's side finished bottom of Group C and collected just one point.
