Spain struck a potentially decisive blow in the battle for top spot in their World Cup qualifying pool by sweeping aside Italy three-nil in Madrid on Saturday night. Two goals from Real Madrid's Isco, the first a glorious right-footed free kick into the top corner after thirteen minutes and the second a crisp left-footed shot from the edge of the area, set Spain on their way at the Bernabeu. A close-range finish from Moscow Chelski FC's striker Alvaro Morata completed a comprehensive win and lifted Spain three points clear of their opponents at the top of Group G. The two sides came into the match with identical records of five wins and one draw - the latter occurring in the reverse fixture last October - but Julen Lopetegui's men emerged as the overwhelming favourites to book an automatic spot at next summer's tournament in Russia. They have games against Liechtenstein, Albania and Israel to come. The Azzurri, who had not lost any qualifier since 2006, look comfortable in second spot, with a four-point lead over Albania following the latter's two-nil home win over Liechtenstein courtesy of second-half goals from Odise Roshi and Ansi Agolli. Liechtenstein have now lost all of their seven group matches, being outscored twenty six to one. Also in the same group, Israel slumped to a shock home defeat to Macedonia, Goran Pandev with the seventy third-minute winner in Haifa. Serbia moved two points clear of The Republic Of Ireland at the top of Group D thanks to a routine three-nil home victory over bottom side Moldova. 
Mijat Gacinovic opened the scoring in Belgrade in the twenty first minute, with Aleksandar Kolarov making it two eight minutes later. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle's Aleksandar Mitrovic wrapped up the win ten minutes from time as Serbia took full advantage of Eire dropping points in Georgia. Wales moved to within two points of second place in the group as seventeen-year-old substitute Ben Woodburn marked his debut with a brilliant winner four minutes after coming on against Austria. The Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws striker arrowed a shot into the bottom corner from the edge of the area to earn the hosts a narrow win in Cardiff and all but end Austria's hopes of qualifying. Ukraine took advantage of some bizarre circumstances in Group I to leap from fourth place to first with a two-nil win at home to Turkey. Borussia Dortmund's new signing Andriy Yarmolenko struck twice in the first half in Kharkiv to put Ukraine in pole position in the tightest of the nine European qualification pools. They were,at that stage one point clear of Croatia, who have a game in hand after their match at home to Kosovo was abandoned after twenty seven minutes due to heavy rain which left the pitch in Zagreb waterlogged. However, the game was subsequently re-staged on Sunday with Croatia winning one-nil. Iceland are also one point off Ukraine, although their hopes of qualification were hit by a surprise loss in Finland. 
Alexander Ring's eighth-minute free-kick ended up being the deciding goal in Tampere, while Iceland finished the match with ten men following the dismissal of Rurik Gislason, who picked up two yellow cards in the space of three second-half minutes. The Turks are two points further back in fourth place. Josh Magennis saved Northern Ireland from potential embarrassment as his second-half brace earned Michael O'Neill's men a three-nil win against minnows San Marino. The striker netted twice in six minutes at the Olimpico Di Serravalle while Steven Davis added a late penalty to give the Irish a vital three points. Magennis opened the scoring after tapping home from close range after fine work from Davis, before doubling his tally again from a few yards out with a header from a Conor Washington chipped cross. 
Also in Group C, Germany left it late to beat the Czech Republic at the Eden Arena after Mats Hummels scored in the eighty eighth minute with an header. Vladimir Darida thought he earned the Czech's what would have been a deserved point after his seventy eighth minute strike, but it wasn't to be as the Confederations Cup champions rallied in the closing stages. As the Germans often do. Earlier, Timo Werner had got Joachim Löw's side off to the perfect start latching on to Mesut Özil's fine pass to give Germany a fourth-minute lead. Elsewhere in Group C, Norway beat Azerbaijan two-nil in Oslo with a first-half penalty from Bournemouth's forward Josh King and an own goal from Rashad Sadygov. Azerbaijan finished the match with ten men after midfielder Javid Huseynov was sent-off in the final minute for a second caution.
On Sunday, in Group A, Davy Propper scored twice as The Netherlands kept their slim hopes of qualifying for the finals alive with a win over Bulgaria. The Brighton & Hove Albinos midfielder opened the scoring with a neat finish before Arjen Robben made it two-nil from close range. Georgi Kostadinov glanced in a free-kick to give Bulgaria some hope but Propper's header sealed the Dutch win. Group leaders Sweden brushed aside Belarus with Emil Forsberg, Christoffer Nyman, Marcus Berg and Andreas Granqvist scoring in a comprehensive four-nil away win which may have helped to erase memories of their unexpected three-two defeat to Bulgaria in Sofia on Thursday. Luxembourg had its first win in the group on Thursday evening with a one-nil home win over Belarus at Stade Josy Barthel. Luxembourg scored on the hour when Daniel Da Mota connected onto a pass from Aurélin Joachim. The men from The Duchy then created a second - even more dramatic - surprise on Sunday evening by holding France to a goalless draw in Toulouse.
Cristiano Ronaldo scored a hat trick to move past Pelé on the list of all-time international goalscorers as Portugal beat The Faroe Islands five-one on Thursday to stay close to Switzerland at the top of Group B. Ronaldo netted with a neat volley from inside the area then added two further goals to lift his career tally to seventy eight and surpass Pelé, who scored seventy seven goals in ninety two internationals for Brazil. On the European list, Ronaldo remains six goals behind the Hungarian legend Ferenc Puskás. William Carvalho and Nelson Oliveira also scored for the defending European champions, who have won six straight matches since their opening loss to Switzerland. Switzerland themselves maintained their one hundred per cent record in qualifying, defeating Andorra three-nil in a match interrupted by poor pitch conditions under heavy rain in St Gallen. Haris Seferovic scored just before half-time and again after the break. Stephan Lichtsteiner added a third. Hungary kept pace with Switzerland and Portugal thanks to three-one win over Latvia. Tamas Kadar and Adam Szalai in the first half and Balazs Dzsudzsak added the third following the break after Gints Freimanis had scored for Latvia. In Sunday's two games, Portgual beat Hungary one-nil in Budapest thanks to a forty-eighth minute goal from Valente Silva from a Ronaldo cross and Gilli Rólantsson Sørensen scored the only goal as The Faroe Islands beat Andorra. In the former game, Hungary had Tamas Priskin sent off for an elbow on Pepe. Switzerland made it eight wins out of eight with a three-nil victory in Latvia.
In Group H, Belgium defeated Gibraltar nine-nil on Thursday in Liege, as the Red Devils equalled their all-time goalscoring record. The hosts were four goals up after twenty seven minutes. Dries Mertens opened the floodgates and strikes from Thomas Meunier, Romelu Lukaku and Axel Witsel started the onslaught. Witsel then saw a straight red for a horrific tackle on Jamie Bosio, but it didn't stop Belgium from overwhelming their part-time opponents. Lukaku and Eden Hazard added further strikes before half-time. Meunier scored twice after the interval to complete his hat-trick and Lukaku was presented his own treble from the penalty spot after Erin Barnett brought down Kevin De Bruyne. Meanwhile Mattias Kait scored an injury-time winner to give Estonia victory over Cyprus who had earlier staged a remarkable comeback, scoring three times in fifteen minutes to beat Bosnia & Herzegovina three-two on Thursday. Romelu Lukaku booked Belgium’s place in the finals after a dramatic finale severely dented Greece's own hopes of qualifying on Sunday. The Scum's seventy five million knicker summer signing deftly headed home on seventy four minutes in Athens after Gonçalves Rodrigues had cancelled out Belgium centre-back Jan Vertonghen's seventieth minute opener. Bosnia & Herzegovina leapfrogged Greece into second place in the group after a four-nil victory against Gibraltar in Faro.
In Group F, leaders England laboured to an eventual four-nil win over Malta. After a truly awful ponderous and lackadaisical first-half performance which, rightly, saw Gareth Southgate's men booed off the pitch by their own fans, Harry Kane finally broke the deadlock after fifty three minutes when he stroked home Dele Alli's pass. For a long-time the game seemed to be drifitng to a one-nil conclusion but Ryan Bertrand added a second with four minutes remaining and substitute Danny Welbeck lifted the ball over Malta's goalkeeper Andrew Hogg in stoppage time, with Kane providing further gloss in the dying seconds. Slovakia remain two points behind England ahead of their clash at Wembley on Monday night after a late goal from Adam Nemec secured a win over Slovenia in Trnava. Scotland kept their World Cup qualification hopes alive with a convincing three-nil win over Lithuania in Vilnius. Glasgow Celtic midfielder Stuart Armstrong headed in his first senior international goal after twenty five minutes and new Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws signing Andy Robertson curled in a second five minutes later. James McArthur made it three from close range to leave Gordon Strachan's side four points behind Slovakia, whom they host at Hampden Park next month.
In Group E, Denmark inflicted a first qualifying defeat on Poland with a stunning four-nil win in Copenhagen to move within three points of the group leaders. Thomas Delaney put the hosts ahead after sixteen minutes, with Andreas Cornelius doubling the lead just before half-time. Huddersfield defender Mathias Jorgensen came off the bench to make it three-nil on the hour, with Stottingtot Hotshots midfielder Christian Eriksen wrapping things up late on. Montenegro are also now on thirteen points, just above Denmark on goal difference and three behind Poland, after their three-nil win in Kazakhstan. Marko Vesovic put the visitors ahead after the half-hour. Fatos Bećiraj and Marko Simic were on target in the second half. Romania beat ten-man Armenia in Bucharest thanks to a last-minute goal form Alexandru Maxim. Armenia had defender Taron Voskanyan sent off for handball when conceding a penalty early in the second half, but Bogdan Stancu saw his spot-kick saved by Grigor Meliksetyan - only for Maxim to have the final word with a close-range finish.
Harry Kane has whinged about England's 'armchair critics' and told the stadium boo boys - who, let us remember pay his sodding wages - to 'remain patient' with the national team. England's travelling supporters booed and chanted 'we're fucking shit' during the victory over Malta. The performance also received much criticism from fans who watched the game on television. But, when asked about accusations that players do not have enough pride in the England shirt, Kane bleated: 'It takes a lot of commitment to reach the top ... start from a young age, dedication and you have to be a top professional to play for your country. Anyone who says that, I don't think they understand what it takes and it's probably why they're sitting at home watching and we're out there playing.' Ooh, get her. 'I am extremely proud to represent my country and I know the other players are,' Kane claimed. One or two people even believed him. Gareth Southgate said that the England players would 'have to get used' to fans showing their frustration and displeasure inside the stadium given that, you know, they've paid for the right to do so. Kane - who earns a reported one hundred grand a week - said that the England players 'accept' paying supporters will 'not be won over' merely by qualifying for the World Cup, following the disastrous Euro 2016 elimination to Iceland that Kane himself was a part of. 'Yes, that's understandable,' Kane weaselled when asked why, exactly, supporters who have watched a succession of below-par England performances should merely shut up and accept whatever they are given from a team of gutless, overpaid young men who could all do with a damned good dose of reality being shoved, hard, down their collective throat. 'At the end of the day, we've done well at this stage before but it's all about the tournament. That's nothing we can control for now, all we can try to do is qualify, try to play good football, try to learn and get better ... and then, what happens in a tournament, happens in a tournament.' Jeez, a once-in-a-generation brain, that one.
Luke Edwards passionate piece in the Torygraph on the bewildering chaos of yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though, tragically, unsellable) current transfer policy is well-worth a read, dear blog reader. A necessary remind to all football fans of that old truism if you're longing for the day when a multi-billionaire comes along and buys your club; be careful what you wish for, it might just come true.
A very naughty man has been extremely jailed for trying to rob the footballer Andy Carroll of his twenty two thousand smackers wristwatch as the striker drove home from West Hamsters United's training ground. Jack O'Brien claimed he was not the rider who targeted the twenty eight-year-old footballer as he waited at traffic lights in North-East London, on 2 November 2016. Carroll told Basildon Crown Court that he believed O'Brien had a gun when he stopped beside him on a motorbike. O'Brien, of Romford, was sentenced to six years in The Pokey for his wilful robbing ways. He was jailed for another five years and three months, to run concurrently, after admitting to a series of other robberies between October and November last year, in which cash and jewellery were taken. O'Brien was found by police hiding beneath a mattress in a property in Dagenham ten days after the attempt to rob Carroll. The footballer told jurors that he was scared when the motorcycle rider pulled up beside him, said 'nice watch' then demanded Carroll give it to him. Carroll did a U-turn, but was forced to drive on the wrong side of the road as he was pursued back to West Hamsters' training ground where there were security staff. In a nine-nine-nine call played in court he was heard telling responders: 'There's two motorbikes, one's behind me pulling out a gun, I don't know what to do.' He also said that he had 'probably just hit about ten cars' during his getaway, part of which was captured on video. In a victim impact statement Carroll said that he had 'feared for his life' and now travels to and from training with security guards. Police seized a motorcycle helmet, Ducati jacket and a Suzuki motorbike which, they believed, were used by O'Brien during the foiled attempted robbery. DNA matching the twenty two-year-old was found on the helmet and jacket, but O'Brien claimed that while he had used the equipment for other robberies, 'somebody else' was wearing them when Carroll was targeted. No firearm was found by police. The second motorbike rider has not been located. Detective Sergeant Brett Hagen said that CCTV footage of the pursuit 'shows the persistent and reckless lengths this man went to in order to try to steal a high-value watch. I would like to thank the victim who showed great courage and calmness throughout this terrifying robbery attempt,' he added.
Mijat Gacinovic opened the scoring in Belgrade in the twenty first minute, with Aleksandar Kolarov making it two eight minutes later. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle's Aleksandar Mitrovic wrapped up the win ten minutes from time as Serbia took full advantage of Eire dropping points in Georgia. Wales moved to within two points of second place in the group as seventeen-year-old substitute Ben Woodburn marked his debut with a brilliant winner four minutes after coming on against Austria. The Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws striker arrowed a shot into the bottom corner from the edge of the area to earn the hosts a narrow win in Cardiff and all but end Austria's hopes of qualifying. Ukraine took advantage of some bizarre circumstances in Group I to leap from fourth place to first with a two-nil win at home to Turkey. Borussia Dortmund's new signing Andriy Yarmolenko struck twice in the first half in Kharkiv to put Ukraine in pole position in the tightest of the nine European qualification pools. They were,at that stage one point clear of Croatia, who have a game in hand after their match at home to Kosovo was abandoned after twenty seven minutes due to heavy rain which left the pitch in Zagreb waterlogged. However, the game was subsequently re-staged on Sunday with Croatia winning one-nil. Iceland are also one point off Ukraine, although their hopes of qualification were hit by a surprise loss in Finland. Alexander Ring's eighth-minute free-kick ended up being the deciding goal in Tampere, while Iceland finished the match with ten men following the dismissal of Rurik Gislason, who picked up two yellow cards in the space of three second-half minutes. The Turks are two points further back in fourth place. Josh Magennis saved Northern Ireland from potential embarrassment as his second-half brace earned Michael O'Neill's men a three-nil win against minnows San Marino. The striker netted twice in six minutes at the Olimpico Di Serravalle while Steven Davis added a late penalty to give the Irish a vital three points. Magennis opened the scoring after tapping home from close range after fine work from Davis, before doubling his tally again from a few yards out with a header from a Conor Washington chipped cross. Also in Group C, Germany left it late to beat the Czech Republic at the Eden Arena after Mats Hummels scored in the eighty eighth minute with an header. Vladimir Darida thought he earned the Czech's what would have been a deserved point after his seventy eighth minute strike, but it wasn't to be as the Confederations Cup champions rallied in the closing stages. As the Germans often do. Earlier, Timo Werner had got Joachim Löw's side off to the perfect start latching on to Mesut Özil's fine pass to give Germany a fourth-minute lead. Elsewhere in Group C, Norway beat Azerbaijan two-nil in Oslo with a first-half penalty from Bournemouth's forward Josh King and an own goal from Rashad Sadygov. Azerbaijan finished the match with ten men after midfielder Javid Huseynov was sent-off in the final minute for a second caution. 
