Regular listeners to From The North's favourite comedy podcast - Bob Mortimer and Andy Dawson's Athletico Mince - will be well aware of the duo's obsession with The Hapless Steve McClaren. Not just his ridiculous 'hair island', 'clown car' and, ahem, interesting alleged domestic life with The Fat Lass and Casper The Snake, but also his membership of the British Managers Club and their cunning 'infiltrate, destroy and exit' policy. A policy which has previously served McClaren so very well at Derby County (twice), Nottingham Forest, this blogger beloved (though unsellable) Magpies and, most spectacularly, as alleged manager of England. It looks like we can now add Queens Park Strangers to that growing list as, just four games into his reign at Loftus Road, Hapless Steve is looking like a prime candidate for the first Championship managerial large-leaving-bonus 'victim' of the season. McClaren said that his side's calamitous seven-one defeat at West Bromwich Albinos last Saturday was 'unacceptable.' Strangers suffered their largest defeat for more than thirty years and their pants down spanking at The Hawthorns signalled their worst-ever start to a season. Having gone in level at half-time, the Strangers completely capitulated after the break, conceding six goals in just under forty minutes. 'I am shocked, I couldn't believe the collapse,' Hapless Steven told BBC 5Live after the defeat. 'It is unacceptable, we can't have that. It's unacceptable for the fans, it's unacceptable for the club.' He added: 'After conceding the third goal it was too much of a collapse, too much of a shock for myself and it must have been for everyone else. Goals change games but we can't react like that, I've never seen that, it's unacceptable and we mustn't let that happen again.' But, they did, just three days later. On Tuesday, Hapless Steve was insisting that he is still 'the right man' to lead the Strangers after he was mercilessly jeered by Strangers fans following a fourth successive Championship defeat, this time a three-nil hiding at home to Bristol City. The Strangers currently sit rock bottom of the table, still waiting to pick up their first point under Hapless Steve (and his hair island). 'I knew this was a tough job and it wouldn't happen overnight,' the fifty seven-year-old said, rather woefully, at a 'you could've heard a pin drop' press conference after the Bristol game. '[Being booed] is society now. It's the reaction and this is normal. The message to the supporters and it's a difficult one, is patience. Am I determined to put this right? Yes.' Whether Hapless Steve has the ability to do so or, even if he does, whether he will get the chance to before he gets handed his P45 (and a, presumably, quite significant termination pay out) is another matter entirely.
Crewe Alexandra's players will reportedly reimburse the cost of the tickets purchased by the one hundred and fifty three fans who travelled to Tuesday's six-nil defeat at Colchester United, according to manager David Artell. Crewe trailed two-nil inside eight minutes and undefeated Colchester went on to dominate the League Two game. 'The players will put their hands in their pockets, without a shadow of a doubt, because the fans deserve credit for coming all of this way and they don't deserve that,' Artell told BBC Radio Stoke. Artell's side won their opening game of the season six-nil at home to Morecambe on 4 August. Tuesday's loss left them with four points from their first four games.
Rochdale manager Keith Hill has told disgruntled fans who want to see him sacked to call the club's chairman Chris Dunphy and make their request. A foolish thing to say, one could suggest, since it's probably that many of them will, football fans being the bolshy type who really hate to be told what to do by someone who, through their continued patronage of the club, effectively pay the staff's wages. Hill said 'supporters have a choice' after Tuesday's four-nil defeat by Barnsley. 'If you are going to beat us with a stick, just phone the chairman and say you don't want Keith Hill to be the manager,' Hill told BBC Radio Manchester. 'That will be okay, I've got no problem with that whatsoever. I'm sure they would sack me.' Hill also said that fans 'have got to be supporting players better' after Harrison McGahey was the subject of mock applause after being taken off free-kick duties. 'Try to support the players, try to support the football club,' Hill said. 'When Harrison is taking a free-kick, something that he has been working on in pre-season and was delivered perfectly in the sessions and he gets them wrong and then there is a cheer when he is not taking it, that sort of thing really does wind me up. It's our fifth season is succession in League One and we have got to be supporting the players better than that.' Hill is currently in his second spell in charge of the club and led Rochdale to promotion to League One in his first full season back at the helm in 2013-14. He guided the club to top-ten finishes in three successive seasons in the third tier before they narrowly avoided relegation last term. Rochdale have won just one of their four league games to date this season and are eighteenth in the table with four points. Asked if he wants to remain in charge at Spotland, Hill replied: 'Not for people who don't respect me, that is the biggest thing. I've made sacrifices for this job and I really enjoy doing this job with this group of players, for the chairman, Bill Goodwin and the rest of the board of directors and all that work here.'
An undercover investigation that led to odious Sam Allardyce's exit as England manager after sixty seven days was justified in the public interest, a report has found. Allardyce left the England job in 2016 after the Daily Torygraph claimed he told reporters posing as businessmen how to 'get around' player transfer rules. The sixty three-year-old lodged twenty five whinges about the story with the Independent Press Standards Organisation. IPSO found in the paper's favour on twenty two of those points. Allardyce whinged that the 'level of subterfuge' employed by the newspaper in its 'Football for Sale' investigation had been 'unjustified' and that it had published its findings 'in an inaccurate and misleading way.' The former West Hamsters United, Blackburn Vindaloos, Blunderland and Everton manager also claimed that the Football Association was 'too hasty' in deciding he had breached his contract and that 'entrapment won.' Which might've been true, but, it was also pure dead funny. In a statement on Wednesday night, Allardyce said: 'Had the FA stuck to their word and waited to see the Telegraph's evidence (as they originally told me they would) they would have seen the allegations made against me were false. It was of course the allegations about third-party ownership that the FA stated were the reasons for my leaving.' IPSO's complaints committee found that the Torygraph's coverage was 'generally accurate' but that the paper had breached the Editors' Code on three specific points. Allardyce was being filmed as part of a ten-month Torygraph investigation that separately unearthed evidence of bribery and corruption in British football. Of the three complaints upheld by IPSO, one related to a suggestion that Allardyce had 'implied' third parties 'could benefit from transfer fees,' which was not true and two wrongly implied Allardyce had offered to tell the Torygraph's reporters how to break ownership rules. The Torygraph published a correction on Thursday. In very small letters on page twenty seven. Probably. However, IPSO ultimately ruled that the Torygraph's use of subterfuge was 'justified'and 'ni the public interest.' In September 2016, Allardyce was filmed telling undercover reporters that it was 'not a problem' to bypass rules on third-party player ownership and claimed that he 'knew of agents' who were 'doing it all the time.' Third-party ownership - when someone other than the buying and selling club owns a stake in a player, typically an investor - has been banned by the Football Association and world football's governing body FIFA. It is a practice which has been described as 'a form of slavery' by Michel Platini, the (disgraced) former president of European football's governing body UEFA. The Torygraph investigation claimed that a four hundred thousand smackers 'deal' was struck for Allardyce to represent the Far East organisation for which the reporters claimed to work and to be a keynote speaker at events. Allardyce, though, stressed to the reporters that he would first have to 'run that by' his employers at the time, the FA. Allardyce also made fun of his predecessor as England manager Roy Hodgson's speech by referring to him as 'Woy', as well as criticising Gary Neville, one of Hodgson's assistants and making comments about FA president Prince William. He described another member of the Royal Family, Prince Harry, as 'a naughty boy.' Still, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
In an interesting article on the BBC Sport website, Ciaran Varley asks the question Does football have a gambling problem? 'The names of bookmakers and online casinos are all over shirt sponsors, stadium names and TV ads. We've looked into football's relationship with gambling.' To which this blogger can only observe that, given that every single player in the second, third and fourth tiers of English football is currently running around with the words 'Sky Bet' emblazoned on their shirts, From The North reckons the answer to that question is 'Christ, yes.'
It is not unheard of for players to be suspended for head-butting, drop-kicking fans, or even biting and opponent - if you're Luis Suarez. But, being suspended for 'blasphemous remarks' might be a first. Former Juventus midfielder Rolando Mandragora has been suspended for one Serie A game after he was caught on television cameras shouting 'Porca Madonna, Vaffanculo, Dio Cane, an insult to the Virgin Mary, while also referring to God as 'a dog.' So, he's also been suspended for making up a conundrum, seemingly. Countdown contestants, beware. The outburst from the international came after Sampdoria goalkeeper Emil Eudero saved his shot in a game which Mandragora's side, Udinese, won one-nil. The remarks initially went unnoticed by officials during the match, but the Lega Serie A - the competition's governing body - later took the incident to review and suspended the twenty one-year-old. 'After acquiring and examining the relevant television images, the player, while cursing without referring to anybody around him, was nevertheless clearly seen by the television images to make blasphemous remarks, visibly identifiable from reading his lips without any margin for reasonable doubt,' a disciplinary report from the Lega Serie A said. Mandragora, who won the Serie A and Italian Cup with Juve in 2017, has spent last season on loan to Crotone before signing for Udinese last month. He has one cap for Italy. 'Mandragora is a good person, the most he deserved was a warning,' said Udinese coach Daniele Prade. There is a strict ban on taking God's name in vain in Italy and, since 2010, the country's football association has disciplined players and coaches heard doing so. Former Juve captain Gianluigi Buffon has been forced to apologise in the past for uttering the word 'Dio' (God). Although, he did once claim that he had in fact said 'Zio' - which means uncle. One or two people - including his uncle - believed him. 'I apologise. If one day I will have the good fortune to meet God, he will be the one to decide whether to forgive me,' Buffon said at the time. Two years ago, Italy's rugby captain Sergio Parisse was also forced to apologise after being filmed uttering a blasphemous phrase before a Six Nations game against France. And, according to the Italian FA's rules, players who wear t-shirts with personal messages to their family, or which make a reference to their religious beliefs, will also be punished. It is not unusual for European countries have blasphemy laws on the statute book, but it is rare that they are invoked.
The Copa Libertadores second-leg game between Santos of Brazil and Independiente of Argentina was abandoned after police clashed with the home crowd - who had been told shortly before kick-off that rather than being level on aggregate they were actually three-nil down. Santos fans at the Pacaembu Stadium in Sao Paulo got all stroppy and discombobulated and began throwing missiles at the Independiente bench and on to the pitch with eight minutes of the game to go and the score nil-nil on the night. Many others then stormed the perimeter fence, where police used batons to beat them back. Police then used percussion grenades as some fans climbed over the barriers to get on to the pitch. About forty five thousand Santos fans had bought tickets to the game in hopes of a victory in South America's top club competition after they drew the first leg in Buenos Aires. But twelve hours before the game started, officials at CONMEBOL - the organisation that runs football on the continent - changed that result to a three-nil win to Independiente. It made the decision after its records revealed Santos' Uruguay international Carlos Sanchez had not served the entirety of a ban in the competition handed out three years previously, when he got a red card while playing for River Plate. Santos pointed out they had checked CONMEBOL's own online system beforehand and it had revealed 'no outstanding bans.' Although Santos appealed, the three-nil result was upheld. With the second game abandoned with no change in that overall score, Independiente qualified for the quarter-finals. Leadership in South American football has been severely weakened since the 2015 FIFA scandal, which brought down so many of the leaders at the top of football in the continent. Sao Paulo is the richest and most powerful state in Brazil - fans there will be absolutely foaming at the mouth. This is the club at which Pele made his name; Neymar started there too. Brazilian clubs have often felt that CONMEBOL is against them and this fiasco will have only made that feeling stronger.
Non-league side Litherland Remyca have been thrown out of this year's FA Cup over an unpaid ten knicker fine. The Merseyside club unwittingly fielded a suspended player in the four-two win over Charnock Richard in the extra-preliminary round on 11 August. The player's one-match ban for not paying an 'administrative' fine at his previous club was carried over from last season. Litherland said it is 'a massive blow with numerous implications.' A club statement read: 'The sanctions for a minor administration technicality are considerable, but we must dust ourselves down, learn from the experience and come back stronger.' Charnock have been reinstated and will face Leek Town in the preliminary round on 4 September. Litherland, who play in the North West Counties League Premier Division, beat local rivals AFC Liverpool two-nil in front of the BBC cameras last season.
Footballers in Spain have 'not ruled out' strike action over a plan to stage a top-flight league match in the United States, says the players' union. Real Madrid's captain, Sergio Ramos and Barcelona vice-captain, Sergio Busquets were among the high-profile players to attend a meeting on Wednesday to discuss their 'concerns' over the issue. La Liga agreed a fifteen-year deal with US media company Relevent on Friday. The players' union - the AFE - says that its members were 'not consulted' by La Liga. Players from all of the La Liga sides met in Madrid on Wednesday to discuss the issue with AFE president David Aganzo. Among those in attendance were Ramos and Real Madrid team-mate Nacho, Barcelona duo Busquets and Sergi Roberto, Leo Baptistao from Espanyol, Bruno from Villarreal and Atletico Madrid players Koke and Juanfran. Aganzo said: 'The problem is the lack of common sense, a schedule where only the export of soccer benefits - nobody counts on the fans. We need to fix it with the bosses. The captains are outraged, they're against it, they are unanimous. It does not make sense. We are talking about an agreement that has a validity of fifteen years without consulting the players.' On the possibility of strike action, he added: 'We will try not to reach that extreme but we are willing to go to the end if necessary.' Aganzo said that the players would meet again in September. Asked last week when the US-based match would take place and whether it would be a regular fixture, La Liga told BBC Sport it 'cannot confirm the teams, match, date or season.' The AFE said players 'do not understand the unilateral decisions,' adding: 'La Liga is distancing the fans of the players, something that harms the show and the essence of football.' After the meeting the league said in a statement: 'La Liga will meet with AFE in the appropriate forum to discuss the plans to play a match outside of Spain.'
Three different players scored hat-tricks as Borussia Mönchengladbach thrashed fifth-tier Hastedt in the German Cup first round. Thorgan Hazard, debutant Alassane Pléa and Raffael scored three each, with Florian Neuhaus and Jonas Hofmann also scored in Gladbach's biggest ever cup win. Hastedt, who play in the local Bremen-Liga, scored the final goal of the game through Diyar Kücük. Earlier on Sunday, Cologne won nine-one at Berliner FC Dynamo. The German Cup first round traditionally pits smaller teams, often amateurs, at home to higher-ranked sides. On Saturday, holders Eintracht Frankfurt lost two-one at fourth-tier Ulm. For whom Johann Gambolputty De Von Ausfern Schplenden Schlitter Crasscrenbon Fried Digger Dingle Dangle Dongle Dungle Burstein Von Knacker Thrasher Apple Banger Horowitz Ticolensic Grander Knotty Spelltinkle Grandlich Grumblemeyer Spelterwasser Kurstlich Himbleeisen Bahnwagen Gutenabend Bitte Ein Nürnburger Bratwustle Gerspurten Mitz Weimache Luber Hundsfut Gumberaber Shönedanker Kalbsfleisch Mittler Aucher Von Hautkopft of Ulm did not feature. Which was probably just as well for the programme printers as they might have run out of ink. Bayern München needed a late goal from Robert Lewandowski to beat Drochtersen/Assel.
Hardcore fans of Lazio football club in Italy have circulated a letter saying women should be banned from part of the Curva Nord of Rome's Olympic Stadium. The Lazio ultras have gained a reputation for sick violence, racism and anti-Semitism. Before the first game of the season, an unofficial flyer was handed round saying the stand was 'a sacred place' where women were 'not allowed.' Lazio blamed 'a few fans. We are against any discrimination,' it claimed. Lazio spokesman Arturo Diaconale, quoted by Italian media, said 'we didn't know anything about this [flyer], it was an independent initiative by some of the Curva Nord fans. It's not the position of society. There is a huge number of Lazio fans, whereas this is an initiative from a few fans. We cannot always intervene to prevent politically incorrect demonstrations like this one.' The ultras' flyer said that women should 'go to other parts' of the stadium. The pamphlet called for 'women, wives and girlfriends' to avoid the first ten rows of the stand. 'Those who choose the stadium as an alternative to the carefree and romantic day at the Villa Borghese [a Roman historic house and park], should go to other parts,' it read. The flyer is signed 'Direttivo Diabolik Pluto,' who is one of the leaders of a group of Lazio ultras known as the Irreducibili. Last season the club was fined after supporters displayed anti-Semitic stickers showing Holocaust victim Anne Frank in a Roma shirt. A group of women fans from the Curva Nord, quoted by the Italian football website calcioweb.eu, expressed 'indignation' over the flyer. They said the Curva Nord had 'a sacred role' and 'we distance ourselves from those Lazio fans whose inappropriate behaviour lowers the Nord's value. And we distance ourselves from those whose gestures and words show they have forgotten that it was a woman who gave birth to them.' Carolina Morace, coach of the AC Milan Women's First Team, said those who wanted to ban women from the first ten rows of the Curva Nord 'should be banned from the stadium. Sexism is also violence,' she said. Quoted by the daily Il Messaggero, she said 'some' social media comments on the Lazio controversy 'lead one to think that there is not the slightest respect for women, for sportswomen, for their passion. The football world must help to overcome all forms of discrimination, not to exacerbate them, as happens all too often: I will always fight to ensure that stadiums are hospitable to everyone.' Manila Nazzaro, a Lazio fan who was Miss Italia in 1999 and is now a well-known TV presenter, said that 'the rules of the pack' were 'common to all fans,' not just Lazio's. 'Some environments remain purely masculine, which men love to share with other men, just as there are some that women love to share with women.' She said that 'in the collective's ideal the Curva is purely masculine. When there were really ugly episodes like the Anne Frank stickers, I was the first to criticise. This time let's take it more lightly.'
