'Don't you just love the World Cup?' asked Adrian Chiles introducing ITV's coverage of Uruguay v South Korea. Yeah. Pretty much, Ade. Except for the bits you've presented, anyway. They've been shit. To prove a point, he then pushed a whopping great cricketing metaphor towards clearly startled Edgar Davids who, nevertheless, straight-batted in back like Geoffrey Boycott during a seventeen hour marathon at Headingley. Scoring eight not out.
U-Are-Gays v The Bit of Korea Everybody Likes
I didn't really expect much from this one, to be honest. And, I'm not sure why. Uruguay have looked like a fine side in the tournament so far and the Koreans are always bright and energetic. It got off to a cracking start, to.
In the first eight minutes we had more action than Switzerland, for example, managed in three games. By that time, the Koreans had hit the post and then, almost immediately, Uruguay went up the other end and scored. Young Suarez got it, who looks a terrific player if, at a times, one who suffers a bit from 'headless chicken-syndrome.' But, prompted by the excellent Forlan (who looks nothing like the fraction of a player he did when representing The Scum), they were neat, passed the ball well, and looked sharp and incisive. And dangerous coming forward, too. This wasn't like the Uruguay we all know and loathe at all! Typically, in the second-half, they reverted to type somewhat - sitting deep and depending on a strong defence (notably the impressive Lugano). But, this invited their opponents on and a better side than Korea would probably have been level long before Notlobber Lee Chung-Yong got his head to the ball after the Uruguayans failed to clear a free-kick. For the next ten minutes, it was all Korea. If there was going to be a winner, one sensed, them it would come from the distant east.
Until Suarez scored again.
That's the trouble with predicting things. One is seldom right.
You-Ess-Ay v Ghana
Well, I'll be honest, I missed all of the build up and, indeed, about the first quarter of an hour of this was as I was watching Doctor Who. Which was great, by the way. Judging by the looks on the faces of Bill Clinton and Mick Jagger in the crowd (I'm not making this up, honest!) I didn't miss much. But then, by that time Ghana had only bleedin' went and scored, didn't they? Ricardo Clark lost the ball on the halfway line and Kevin-Prince Boateng raced through, seeing off Jay DeMerit and getting to the edge of the box where he slammed a low left-foot shot into the bottom corner. Yesh! What a start for the Africans. The rest of the half was crap. Half-time was boring. Is Kevin Keegan ever going to say anything interesting ever again. Don't get me wrong, I've never been happier than when he was managing my club (first time around, anyway). But, he's not a pundit these days, he's a walking hairdo. Mind you, he's still a million times preferable to bloody Southgate who could bore for England, Great Britain, Europe, the Commonwealth and, indeed, the world.
The Goddamn Yankies circled the wagons, got off their horse, drank their milk and equalised - Donovan scoring from a penalty after Clint Eastwood (or someone) had been brought down. After that ... not much happened really and so, for the first time in the 2010 World Cup (but, not I'm suspecting, the last) we went to extra time.
And, suddenly, it was all Ghana again. A long ball from the back from Andre Ayew saw big hard Gyan battling with Carlos Bocanegra and despite a little push from the defender, he kept his composure to smash a left-foot shot past Tim Howard from the edge of the box. Tasty. Given that a recent, former, President of their opponents seemed to believe that Africa was a country rather than a continent, you could probably tell which way most of the local support was leaning. The second half of extra time was, actually, something of a non-event. Two tired teams looking like a pair of prize fighters missing with every punch in the final round. There was some keeper-up-the-pitch shenanigans in the last minute but Ghana had enough and held on. 'Bye, bye, big American sigh' said Peter Drury with comic timing I wouldn't have given him credit for. A potential highlight of the coverage actually came after the game finished but, even that was wasted. 'You won a World Cup with France, do you feel better now?' Jim Rosenthal asks Desailly. Don't you just wish Desailly had replied 'Non, Jeeeeem, you feel better after you zee de Dok-tur, nes pas?' Sadly, like most of ITV's efforts, it was bland, insipid and smelled, vaguely, of sycophancy and tongue-rimming. Bet you're really glad you left the BBC for this, Ade.
Goals: 107
Red Cards: 13
U-Are-Gays v The Bit of Korea Everybody Likes
I didn't really expect much from this one, to be honest. And, I'm not sure why. Uruguay have looked like a fine side in the tournament so far and the Koreans are always bright and energetic. It got off to a cracking start, to.
In the first eight minutes we had more action than Switzerland, for example, managed in three games. By that time, the Koreans had hit the post and then, almost immediately, Uruguay went up the other end and scored. Young Suarez got it, who looks a terrific player if, at a times, one who suffers a bit from 'headless chicken-syndrome.' But, prompted by the excellent Forlan (who looks nothing like the fraction of a player he did when representing The Scum), they were neat, passed the ball well, and looked sharp and incisive. And dangerous coming forward, too. This wasn't like the Uruguay we all know and loathe at all! Typically, in the second-half, they reverted to type somewhat - sitting deep and depending on a strong defence (notably the impressive Lugano). But, this invited their opponents on and a better side than Korea would probably have been level long before Notlobber Lee Chung-Yong got his head to the ball after the Uruguayans failed to clear a free-kick. For the next ten minutes, it was all Korea. If there was going to be a winner, one sensed, them it would come from the distant east.Until Suarez scored again.
That's the trouble with predicting things. One is seldom right.
You-Ess-Ay v Ghana
Well, I'll be honest, I missed all of the build up and, indeed, about the first quarter of an hour of this was as I was watching Doctor Who. Which was great, by the way. Judging by the looks on the faces of Bill Clinton and Mick Jagger in the crowd (I'm not making this up, honest!) I didn't miss much. But then, by that time Ghana had only bleedin' went and scored, didn't they? Ricardo Clark lost the ball on the halfway line and Kevin-Prince Boateng raced through, seeing off Jay DeMerit and getting to the edge of the box where he slammed a low left-foot shot into the bottom corner. Yesh! What a start for the Africans. The rest of the half was crap. Half-time was boring. Is Kevin Keegan ever going to say anything interesting ever again. Don't get me wrong, I've never been happier than when he was managing my club (first time around, anyway). But, he's not a pundit these days, he's a walking hairdo. Mind you, he's still a million times preferable to bloody Southgate who could bore for England, Great Britain, Europe, the Commonwealth and, indeed, the world.
The Goddamn Yankies circled the wagons, got off their horse, drank their milk and equalised - Donovan scoring from a penalty after Clint Eastwood (or someone) had been brought down. After that ... not much happened really and so, for the first time in the 2010 World Cup (but, not I'm suspecting, the last) we went to extra time.
And, suddenly, it was all Ghana again. A long ball from the back from Andre Ayew saw big hard Gyan battling with Carlos Bocanegra and despite a little push from the defender, he kept his composure to smash a left-foot shot past Tim Howard from the edge of the box. Tasty. Given that a recent, former, President of their opponents seemed to believe that Africa was a country rather than a continent, you could probably tell which way most of the local support was leaning. The second half of extra time was, actually, something of a non-event. Two tired teams looking like a pair of prize fighters missing with every punch in the final round. There was some keeper-up-the-pitch shenanigans in the last minute but Ghana had enough and held on. 'Bye, bye, big American sigh' said Peter Drury with comic timing I wouldn't have given him credit for. A potential highlight of the coverage actually came after the game finished but, even that was wasted. 'You won a World Cup with France, do you feel better now?' Jim Rosenthal asks Desailly. Don't you just wish Desailly had replied 'Non, Jeeeeem, you feel better after you zee de Dok-tur, nes pas?' Sadly, like most of ITV's efforts, it was bland, insipid and smelled, vaguely, of sycophancy and tongue-rimming. Bet you're really glad you left the BBC for this, Ade.Goals: 107
Red Cards: 13
