Para-Guys v Japan
Nah. Couldn't be bothered. For the first time in nearly three weeks here was a match that, actually, defeated my concerted efforts to get enthusiastic over. Even Roque Santa Cruz missing an open goal in the first-half didn't do anything to lighten my mood of singular introspection. I mean, it was on ITV for a start so that meant their piss-awful presentation to put up with. Then, the director clearly found the match so boring that after a while he started concentrating instead on 'wacky' fans in the crowd - particularly one little Japanese fellah who just needed a damned good slap for his zany antics.
Half-time passed in a kind of haze of utter indifference. Even Jim Beglin couldn't find much to get enthused about in this one. It was just dull. Two sides who'd probably slightly overachieved to get this far suddenly realising they're one clean sheet away from a World Cup Quarter Final.
It was a recipe for this year's Switzerland v Ukraine. Yes, it really was that horrible. As we got yet another shot of the stern-faced Japanese coach a few minutes from the end (the one who always looks like he's about to tell Alec Guinness 'YOU BUILD BRIDGE NOW!') a stray though struck me. THIS IS JUST SHIT! I mean, dreadful. Easily the worst game of the tournament so far - largely because you knew that both sides were capable of more. We'd seen them produce more a few days ago. With seconds to go Nakamura just failed to connect with a cross but, to be honest, a winner at that stage - though a blessing - would've been unjust. 'You get one of these in every world cup, Peter' Beglin told Drury. 'And, we've copped it today!'
Extra-time was no better. Did Adrian Voodoo Chile really say at the break, 'that was slightly better'? Than what, Adie, colon cancer? The last few minutes were like watching treacle set. 'The inevitable looms' said Beglin, ominously.
So, Townsend wittered on about some crap or other that nobody cares a damn about and Southgate neatly avoided mentioning the highlight of his career in penalties. The referee seemed to want to milk every nano-second of drama out of the tedious ritual of tossing a coin. The Para-guys went first: Barreto buried his. Endo did likewise. Barrios stuck his away. Hasebe went high and equalised as his stern-faced manager looked on, unimpressed. Riveros - Mackem bound - rolled one straight down the middle as Kawashima dived out of the way. Komano's arse fell out and he hit the bar. Valdez was cool, clinical and it was 4-2. Hondo was composure itself. Cardozo stepped up and Paraguay were through.
Thank God that's over.
Spain v Portugal
The second match should've been far more appealing - two quality sides, one of which I really rather like, the other whom I loathe like something I have to scrape off the sole of my shoe with a stick. The BBC did their best, bringing in Klinsmann to be entertaining - which he was - and getting Seedorf to do another one of his thoughtful reportage pieces (this, a rather tenuous one comparing the match to The Rumble In The Jungle). But, it all started to go wrong the second Colin Murray and his irritating voice interviewed Shearer and Alan didn't take the chance to elbow Murray in the face. Missed opportunity there, Big'un. The game started like neither side particularly wanted to go for it and the first fifteen minutes was almost as slow as the earlier match. More skill, obviously. But, little to get thrilled about - especially as Portugal, in particular, seem to be playing for penalties even that that stage. 'Ronaldo cut a dejected figure at the end of that awful game against Brazil,' according to Jonny Pearce. Any chance of an encore tonight? Please? You know, if that Puyol could still run more than five yards without looking knackered, like he used to, he'd be the perfect defender. Spain's problem, frankly, was that most of the players you'd really want to be top of their game in a match like this - Iniesta, Torres, Villa, Xavi - just looked a bit off the pace. Or, in Torres case, a lot off the pace.
Half-time was mostly taken up with - yet another - tedious discussion on technology. Klinnsman was thoughtful and articulate. So was Seedorf. Hansen grunted a few times and said 'unbelievable' a lot. The second-half began with Portugal - by a distance - the more likely to score.
That's if they'd actually wanted to. But, they still had the look of a side sticking doggedly to Plan A because, frankly, they didn't have a Plan B. Then came the moment that probably changed the game. Del Bosque took off the very ineffective Torres and brought on Llorente whilst, at exactly the same moment, Carlos Queiroz inexplicably swapped the quite impressive and dangerous Almeida for Danny. Within minutes, Spain had three great chances, David Villa taking the third of them. The scowling look on Ronaldo's face as he gesticulated towards the bench asking for suggestions on what they do now was one of the 2010 World Cup's most satisfying moments. Queiroz tried a couple of further substitutions. 'I can only think that those changes are to try and get more service to Cristiano Ronaldo, because he hasn't had the ball at all,' noted Lawro. After that, the last twenty minutes were actually terrific, end-to-end stuff with chances for both sides and a red card for Costa for what looked to be a bit of a nothing incident with Capdevila. And, there was the delicious sight of Ronaldo limping for no obvious reason and looking very sorry for himself indeed. Ah. Shame. Spain had, certainly, been the better side over all. But, on this evidence, they're probably not world beaters and, more worryingly, their supposed 'best' team isn't, actually, looking like their best team. It ended with a bit of sour feeling bubbling beneath the surface. As Klinnsman noted at the end, 'you've got to have a Plan B against Spain in case they score!' And, therein lies a significant lesson.
Goals: 123
Red Cards: 14
We've got a couple of days off, now. At probably just about the right time, too.
Nah. Couldn't be bothered. For the first time in nearly three weeks here was a match that, actually, defeated my concerted efforts to get enthusiastic over. Even Roque Santa Cruz missing an open goal in the first-half didn't do anything to lighten my mood of singular introspection. I mean, it was on ITV for a start so that meant their piss-awful presentation to put up with. Then, the director clearly found the match so boring that after a while he started concentrating instead on 'wacky' fans in the crowd - particularly one little Japanese fellah who just needed a damned good slap for his zany antics.
Half-time passed in a kind of haze of utter indifference. Even Jim Beglin couldn't find much to get enthused about in this one. It was just dull. Two sides who'd probably slightly overachieved to get this far suddenly realising they're one clean sheet away from a World Cup Quarter Final.
It was a recipe for this year's Switzerland v Ukraine. Yes, it really was that horrible. As we got yet another shot of the stern-faced Japanese coach a few minutes from the end (the one who always looks like he's about to tell Alec Guinness 'YOU BUILD BRIDGE NOW!') a stray though struck me. THIS IS JUST SHIT! I mean, dreadful. Easily the worst game of the tournament so far - largely because you knew that both sides were capable of more. We'd seen them produce more a few days ago. With seconds to go Nakamura just failed to connect with a cross but, to be honest, a winner at that stage - though a blessing - would've been unjust. 'You get one of these in every world cup, Peter' Beglin told Drury. 'And, we've copped it today!'Extra-time was no better. Did Adrian Voodoo Chile really say at the break, 'that was slightly better'? Than what, Adie, colon cancer? The last few minutes were like watching treacle set. 'The inevitable looms' said Beglin, ominously.
So, Townsend wittered on about some crap or other that nobody cares a damn about and Southgate neatly avoided mentioning the highlight of his career in penalties. The referee seemed to want to milk every nano-second of drama out of the tedious ritual of tossing a coin. The Para-guys went first: Barreto buried his. Endo did likewise. Barrios stuck his away. Hasebe went high and equalised as his stern-faced manager looked on, unimpressed. Riveros - Mackem bound - rolled one straight down the middle as Kawashima dived out of the way. Komano's arse fell out and he hit the bar. Valdez was cool, clinical and it was 4-2. Hondo was composure itself. Cardozo stepped up and Paraguay were through.
Thank God that's over.
Spain v Portugal
The second match should've been far more appealing - two quality sides, one of which I really rather like, the other whom I loathe like something I have to scrape off the sole of my shoe with a stick. The BBC did their best, bringing in Klinsmann to be entertaining - which he was - and getting Seedorf to do another one of his thoughtful reportage pieces (this, a rather tenuous one comparing the match to The Rumble In The Jungle). But, it all started to go wrong the second Colin Murray and his irritating voice interviewed Shearer and Alan didn't take the chance to elbow Murray in the face. Missed opportunity there, Big'un. The game started like neither side particularly wanted to go for it and the first fifteen minutes was almost as slow as the earlier match. More skill, obviously. But, little to get thrilled about - especially as Portugal, in particular, seem to be playing for penalties even that that stage. 'Ronaldo cut a dejected figure at the end of that awful game against Brazil,' according to Jonny Pearce. Any chance of an encore tonight? Please? You know, if that Puyol could still run more than five yards without looking knackered, like he used to, he'd be the perfect defender. Spain's problem, frankly, was that most of the players you'd really want to be top of their game in a match like this - Iniesta, Torres, Villa, Xavi - just looked a bit off the pace. Or, in Torres case, a lot off the pace.
Half-time was mostly taken up with - yet another - tedious discussion on technology. Klinnsman was thoughtful and articulate. So was Seedorf. Hansen grunted a few times and said 'unbelievable' a lot. The second-half began with Portugal - by a distance - the more likely to score.
That's if they'd actually wanted to. But, they still had the look of a side sticking doggedly to Plan A because, frankly, they didn't have a Plan B. Then came the moment that probably changed the game. Del Bosque took off the very ineffective Torres and brought on Llorente whilst, at exactly the same moment, Carlos Queiroz inexplicably swapped the quite impressive and dangerous Almeida for Danny. Within minutes, Spain had three great chances, David Villa taking the third of them. The scowling look on Ronaldo's face as he gesticulated towards the bench asking for suggestions on what they do now was one of the 2010 World Cup's most satisfying moments. Queiroz tried a couple of further substitutions. 'I can only think that those changes are to try and get more service to Cristiano Ronaldo, because he hasn't had the ball at all,' noted Lawro. After that, the last twenty minutes were actually terrific, end-to-end stuff with chances for both sides and a red card for Costa for what looked to be a bit of a nothing incident with Capdevila. And, there was the delicious sight of Ronaldo limping for no obvious reason and looking very sorry for himself indeed. Ah. Shame. Spain had, certainly, been the better side over all. But, on this evidence, they're probably not world beaters and, more worryingly, their supposed 'best' team isn't, actually, looking like their best team. It ended with a bit of sour feeling bubbling beneath the surface. As Klinnsman noted at the end, 'you've got to have a Plan B against Spain in case they score!' And, therein lies a significant lesson.Goals: 123
Red Cards: 14
We've got a couple of days off, now. At probably just about the right time, too.
