The Netherlands v Slovakia
The BBC kicked off their coverage pf this one with a Clarence Seedorf history lesson on Total Football complete with a Gil Scott Heron soundtrack. Niiiice. Gary, Lee and Alan manfully turned up with false smiles plastered all over their boat-races after yesterday's debacle and we hoped for a bit of tasty Oranj.
What they - and we - had to watch was terrific for the most part. A great first-half - technically, at least, a joy to watch.
The fact that the Dutch were only one up - thanks to a spanker from Robben - doesn't tell half the story. 'The Dutch are really patient but Slovakia are defending in numbers and making them play the long ball which they don't like,' noted Clarence. 'The Netherlands are well-organised too when they are defending, and that is hard to get through. I don't think Slovakia have the quality they need to break them down.' Al Shearer agreed: 'The Dutch haven't really had to get out of first gear yet. They are very methodical and hard-working but it is too easy for them at the moment because Slovakia are so poor.' It was a day for motor metaphors, clearly, with Simon Brotherton suggesting the Dutch had 'played with the hand-brake on so far.' Send for The Stig.
The start of the second-half was, if anything, even better, as the vuvuzelas got louder, there were constant waves of Oranj shirts towards the Slovak goal. Three times in about five minutes Robben, Van Persie and then Sneijder almost doubled the lead.
But the longer it went on at 1-0, the more you felt Slovakia might just get back into this and, sure enough, twenty minutes from the end, Vittek had a great chance to level the score, Stekelenburg making his first real save of the match from point-blank range. Then we got a touch of the traditional Dutch magic - Van Persie taking a right stroppy girly hissy-fit when he got substituted. Ah, just like the old days, that! With eight minutes left, a quickly taken free-kick saw Kuyt setting up Sneijder for 2-0 to finally put the game to bed. Neither Skrtel, against whom the kick was given, and Vladimir Weiss were too happy about the situation, the latter having a right pop at the referee, Alberto Undiano, who simply waved him back towards his dug-out with a dismissive flick of the wrist.
And so the Dutch are in the quarter final and still, you sense, there a lot more from them to come. 'Maybe they are saving themselves for the later stages rather than playing like a football version of the Harlem Globetrotters early on and then going out just when we thought they'd finally cracked it, like in the last two tournaments,' noted Brother Brotherton. Amen to that.
Right at the death the Slovaks got a penalty and Vittek scored with the last kick of the game. Too little, too late.
Brazil v Chile
After three successive matches on the BBC, one tends to forget just how crass, bland and rubbish ITV's coverage has been at this World Cup. Chiles ranted a bit about England like a spoiled child who's just had his chocolate taken away form him and then opened the discussion up to the panel. Well, to Townsend and Southgate, anyway as Desailly looked about as interested in all this malarkey as a very disinterested thing indeed. Christ, but that Andy Townsend doesn't half talk some shite at times. He went into a lengthy rant about how the England players were, essentially, blameless and it was all the manager's fault. It was, at that point, genuinely lovely to see him getting slapped down into the gutter like a bitch with a bit of Gareth Southgate logic. 'We failed to qualify for the European Championships, everybody blamed McLaren. He got the sack, went off and managed PSV to the championship in Holland. Now, the same players have gone out of this World Cup and you're talking about blaming Capello, somebody who's won everything there is to win.' Yes! Yes, I say to thee Gareth Southgate! Testify, brother.
We went to the stadium where Tyldesley informed us that Howard Webb and his team were taking charge of their third game at the tournament and that they seemed to be highly thought of within FIFA.
'England might get to the final yet,' he concluded as though that's supposed to make us feel proud, or something. Haven't we suffered enough already, Clive? And then there was the game. Hyped up as the potential match of the competition so far, the first half hour was dull and flat and produced not much, frankly. Then, typically, just as I was on the verge of giving up on it and switching over to Time Team, Brazil scored twice in five minutes; a header by Juan from a corner and a Luis Fabiano goal after a swift bit of counter-attacking by Kaka and Robinho. So much for 'Dunga's dull Brazil'!
Is it just me or are the trails for James Corden's worthless thing getting more and more pleading? 'Yeah, England are gone but we've got Ruth Jones on!' Thanks for the warning, fat boy.
Anyway, second-half, Brazil strutted around like the owned the gaff, which you'd expect, and you sensed they could score whenever they fancied it, basically. Robinho added a third after a mazy run from the impressive Ramires. Thereafter it was just a case of did Chile fancy battling to keep it at three? They did, as it happens, and good on 'em for that. By the end, the television director was reduced to showing us pictures of pretty Brazilian female fans celebrating around Ellis Park. Don't they ever get tired of that?
No. of course they don't. Stupid question. Beat out the Samba rhythm in Rio, football's coming home.
Goals: 122
Red Cards: 13
The BBC kicked off their coverage pf this one with a Clarence Seedorf history lesson on Total Football complete with a Gil Scott Heron soundtrack. Niiiice. Gary, Lee and Alan manfully turned up with false smiles plastered all over their boat-races after yesterday's debacle and we hoped for a bit of tasty Oranj.
What they - and we - had to watch was terrific for the most part. A great first-half - technically, at least, a joy to watch.
The fact that the Dutch were only one up - thanks to a spanker from Robben - doesn't tell half the story. 'The Dutch are really patient but Slovakia are defending in numbers and making them play the long ball which they don't like,' noted Clarence. 'The Netherlands are well-organised too when they are defending, and that is hard to get through. I don't think Slovakia have the quality they need to break them down.' Al Shearer agreed: 'The Dutch haven't really had to get out of first gear yet. They are very methodical and hard-working but it is too easy for them at the moment because Slovakia are so poor.' It was a day for motor metaphors, clearly, with Simon Brotherton suggesting the Dutch had 'played with the hand-brake on so far.' Send for The Stig.The start of the second-half was, if anything, even better, as the vuvuzelas got louder, there were constant waves of Oranj shirts towards the Slovak goal. Three times in about five minutes Robben, Van Persie and then Sneijder almost doubled the lead.
But the longer it went on at 1-0, the more you felt Slovakia might just get back into this and, sure enough, twenty minutes from the end, Vittek had a great chance to level the score, Stekelenburg making his first real save of the match from point-blank range. Then we got a touch of the traditional Dutch magic - Van Persie taking a right stroppy girly hissy-fit when he got substituted. Ah, just like the old days, that! With eight minutes left, a quickly taken free-kick saw Kuyt setting up Sneijder for 2-0 to finally put the game to bed. Neither Skrtel, against whom the kick was given, and Vladimir Weiss were too happy about the situation, the latter having a right pop at the referee, Alberto Undiano, who simply waved him back towards his dug-out with a dismissive flick of the wrist.And so the Dutch are in the quarter final and still, you sense, there a lot more from them to come. 'Maybe they are saving themselves for the later stages rather than playing like a football version of the Harlem Globetrotters early on and then going out just when we thought they'd finally cracked it, like in the last two tournaments,' noted Brother Brotherton. Amen to that.
Right at the death the Slovaks got a penalty and Vittek scored with the last kick of the game. Too little, too late.
Brazil v Chile
After three successive matches on the BBC, one tends to forget just how crass, bland and rubbish ITV's coverage has been at this World Cup. Chiles ranted a bit about England like a spoiled child who's just had his chocolate taken away form him and then opened the discussion up to the panel. Well, to Townsend and Southgate, anyway as Desailly looked about as interested in all this malarkey as a very disinterested thing indeed. Christ, but that Andy Townsend doesn't half talk some shite at times. He went into a lengthy rant about how the England players were, essentially, blameless and it was all the manager's fault. It was, at that point, genuinely lovely to see him getting slapped down into the gutter like a bitch with a bit of Gareth Southgate logic. 'We failed to qualify for the European Championships, everybody blamed McLaren. He got the sack, went off and managed PSV to the championship in Holland. Now, the same players have gone out of this World Cup and you're talking about blaming Capello, somebody who's won everything there is to win.' Yes! Yes, I say to thee Gareth Southgate! Testify, brother.
We went to the stadium where Tyldesley informed us that Howard Webb and his team were taking charge of their third game at the tournament and that they seemed to be highly thought of within FIFA.
'England might get to the final yet,' he concluded as though that's supposed to make us feel proud, or something. Haven't we suffered enough already, Clive? And then there was the game. Hyped up as the potential match of the competition so far, the first half hour was dull and flat and produced not much, frankly. Then, typically, just as I was on the verge of giving up on it and switching over to Time Team, Brazil scored twice in five minutes; a header by Juan from a corner and a Luis Fabiano goal after a swift bit of counter-attacking by Kaka and Robinho. So much for 'Dunga's dull Brazil'!Is it just me or are the trails for James Corden's worthless thing getting more and more pleading? 'Yeah, England are gone but we've got Ruth Jones on!' Thanks for the warning, fat boy.
Anyway, second-half, Brazil strutted around like the owned the gaff, which you'd expect, and you sensed they could score whenever they fancied it, basically. Robinho added a third after a mazy run from the impressive Ramires. Thereafter it was just a case of did Chile fancy battling to keep it at three? They did, as it happens, and good on 'em for that. By the end, the television director was reduced to showing us pictures of pretty Brazilian female fans celebrating around Ellis Park. Don't they ever get tired of that?
No. of course they don't. Stupid question. Beat out the Samba rhythm in Rio, football's coming home.
Goals: 122
Red Cards: 13
