I think it's fair to say that, at heart, most football fans want to see plenty of this from their club sides.
And, at an international level, a fair bit of this.
And, you know, who in all honesty can blame them?
German Bite v Part Of The Former Yugoslavia (The Nasty Part)
The BBC's coverage this afternoon began with a little graphic that, basically, showed Gary Lineker's World Cup goals record was considerably better than Shearer's! When we got back to the studio at half-time it was noticeable that Gazza appeared to have elbowed in the face in a off-the-camera incident. But, finally, the World Cup is starting to come to life. Danny Baker summed it up beautifully on last night's Match of the Day. 'It's mad, it makes no sense.' Over on Sky, Shaun Custis and Henry Winter - two of my favourite football journalists - were noting that three days ago it was being called the worst World Cup in history and then, two good days, plenty of goals and a couple of surprises and, suddenly, it's up there with the best of them. It is, as Greavsie used to note with monotonous regularly, a funny old game.
And so to this one. Hmmm ... a nation with a history full of genocidal, xenophobic, sick fascist dickheads ... Versus Germany.
I was really torn on this one. Even more torn when discovering that my least favourite commentary team in the whole world - Jonathan Pearce and Mick McCarthy were doing it. Pearce nailed his colours to the flag noting that there were 'again, too many empty seats.' Well, what did you do with all your 'family and friends complimentaries' then, Jonathan? Surely you could've found some Dutch girls to take 'em off your hands, no questions asked.
The game was quite lively but much of the attention went onto a rather fussy, card-happy Spanish ref, Alberto Undiano. Not ridiculously so, not like that Russian when the Netherlands played Portugal four years ago, but it did move Pearce to say, early on, 'I'll be really surprised if this game ends with twenty two players on the pitch.'
That's always a problem for a referee, if you start dishing out cards early on for relatively minor offences, in an attempt to stamp your authority on the game, you've got to go on in the same mode all match. And that's gonna lead to trouble. And, of course, it did. Klose got a second yellow for a rather innocuous foul on Dejan Stankovic (having got his first one for virtually nothing) and was off the pitch. Chaos. The Germans went mental - it was like Stalingrad all over again. Almost immediately, the Serbs went up the other end, Krasic crossed, Nikola Zigic knocked it down and Milan Jovanovic was all alone to turn the ball into the German net. Germany were in big trouble, yet they nearly scored three times in the next two minutes, Schweinsteiger was pulled up for a foul on the keeper when in a dangerous position (McCarthy was almost incandescent with rage, noting 'the keeper's being a Big Tart there.' Can you actually say that on the BBC at quarter past one in the afternoon? Then, Mesut Ozil's cross was punched away by Stojkovic only as far as Sami Khedira, who slammed a shot against the bar and the rebound was scrambled off the line. At half-time Shearer continued the 'outraged of Woolingston' theme: 'We have got a really fussy referee who has ruined the game for Germany. The red card completely changed the face of the match and Group D is wide open if this score stays the same.' He then elbowed Lee Dixon in the face. And the whole country cheered!
The second-half started with a torrent of German pressure and, you felt Germany might well get back into this, because Serbia looked very shaky at the back and one couldn't believe that the Germans would keep on missing chances. Then they got a penalty, Vidic stupidly handling in the box when under no pressure. And Podolski promptly missed it! (Or rather, Stojkovic saved it, but it was a damned poor penalty.) I mean that was a shock in and of itself. When was the last time you can remember a German missing a penalty in a major tournament? Uli Stielike in 1982, I think! But, still, the Serbians had something coming forward, Jovanovic hitting the post with a curling shot. And their defence recovered its bottle and stopped being glakes and doing stupid things like giving needless penalties away. This was Ze Chermans' first defeat in a World Cup group game since 1986. And there was much rejoicing in England. The Netherlands. France. Belgium. Denmark. In fact, virtually all of Europe. America. Micronesia. Palau. The Pitcairns ...
Amerikkka v Slovenia
Several Elvises (or should that be Elvi?) in the crowd singing 'The Star Spangled Banner.' Oh, it must be the Americans. Either that, or I'm on very hard drugs. Yeah, it is America because, after less that thirty seconds, Clint Eastwood (or someone) elbowed Ljubijankic in the face. Oi! There's a North Tyneside copyright on that sort of thing, pal. Anyway, we got an interesting camera angle from above the pitch which appeared to show the centre circle had been marked out a bit wonky. You want some top-quality goals scored from miles outside the box? Then have a splash of this, baby. Slovenia's decent start became a sensational one as Birsa collected the ball twenty five yards out in space and curled a gorgeous left-foot shot into the corner of Tim Howard's net. The Everton keeper didn't even move. 'I always thought there was a look of Hannibal Lecter about Bob Bradley,' noted Steve Wilson completely out of left-field. Not sure if Martin Keown actually understood the reference, he merely grunted in reply.
The Americans then had a great spell where they probably could have scored two or three. But, they didn't and. as we all know, football can be a really cruel game. Just as USA start to think they were getting back into it, Slovenia went up the other end and doubled their lead. Ljubijankic finishing it by coolly slotting in after Milivoje Novakovic's perfectly-timed pass.
The Malian referee, Koman Coulibaly, had a good start to the game but, just as commentators were complimenting him on letting the game flow, he went and spoiled it by booking Robbie Findley for handball when the ball ricocheted off his face and brush his hand on the way down. Easily, the single worst bit of refereeing in the tournament so far and way worse than anything the much criticised Spaniard did in the previous game. And worse was to follow. At half-time, Hansen, in his really nice blue shirt, bigged-up the Yankie boys whilst Roy Hodgson was, again, very precise and smart in his critique. His pronunciation of the word 'Americans', however, was hilarious. Roy, trust me, what you're saying is the name for a pubic wig.
Almost as soon as the second-half kicked-off, Donovan got the USA back into the game, the Slovenina goalkeeper shamefully flinching - actual proper flinching, an'all, mind - as Donovan shot at him from a narrow angle. After that it was pretty much all America against a strong, hard-working, give-no-quarter Slovan back-line. It took until the eighty first minute before Michael Bradley got on the end of a knock-down to equalise. There was a disallowed goal after that and lots of blood and thunder and rockets red flares and all that malarkey. Replays shown there was little, if anything, wrong with the one that was disallowed. Keown whinged, about stuff generally and the referee in particular. Slovenia broke neatly but Tim Howard saved well, twice. It was all proper cracking stuff. The game ended almost exactly as it began, with a Slovan rolling around on the floor, clutching his face. Is it really just a couple of days ago that we were all sitting around saying 'hasn't been much cop so far'?! As Gary Lineker noted after it had finished 'Message to watching Americans. that's what makes football so special!'
The Best Kept Village In Europe v Algeria
I missed most of the build up to this as I'd been invited to a barbecue. I should have stayed there really. The first half was, quite possibly, the single worst forty-five minutes of the tournament so far. Algeria were all right, to be fair - first to every fifty-fifty ball, neat, energetic. They didn't seem to have much threat up front but they had their moments. England, on the other hand, were as bad as they've ever been on the many occasions they've been in a position like this. ITV's commentary team - Tyldesley and Townsend - used a few words to describe the performance; edgy, nervous, uninspired, bland, ponderous. They missed out the most obvious one - piss-poor. 'Horrible,' said Chiles. 'Where is the team from qualification?' Keegan suggested half the team were carrying injuries. Southgate called it 'disappointing.' The rest of the world must hate it when England is the main feature match of a night. 'Oh God, not England?! Is their anything on the other side tonight?'
One sensed that England couldn't, possibly, play that badly again in the second half. They didn't. They were worse. Everything about the performance was full of wrong turns. Every choice they made seemed to be the wrong one, whether it was Heskey tripping over his own feet unable to decide whether to shoot or cross, Gerrard seemingly unable to run with the ball without losing control of it, Rooney coming deep when he should have been staying up the pitch and visa versa.
Every pass seemed to be over hit, hardly a single ball to feet was trapped but rather always seemed to bounce off the player and possession was often lost. It was scrappy, predictable and very unlovely to watch. And the longer it went on, the more the players seemed to be sulking and feeling sorry for themselves, as though the whole thing was some sort of massive conspiracy against them rather than, you know, their fault. (Rooney's televised tirade towards the fans as he came off at the end summed up that niggly feeling you often have that these young men are, essentially, a bunch of pampered prima donnas who could use a damned good dose of reality being rammed down their collective throat. You're being paid for this, guys. We're not. We're paying for the privilege of watching you. A necessary difference, I feel.) In what seemed like an act of desperately with eight minutes left, Capello took off Barry (probably England's best player, although that really isn't saying much) and brought on Crouch. When Lampard tried an ambitious shot from thirty yards a couple of minutes from the end and almost hit the corner flag, the first boos started. Not a single solitary one of them was undeserved.
'Not nearly good enough.' Well, indeed.
Goals: 43
Red Cards: 7
And, at an international level, a fair bit of this.
And, you know, who in all honesty can blame them?German Bite v Part Of The Former Yugoslavia (The Nasty Part)
The BBC's coverage this afternoon began with a little graphic that, basically, showed Gary Lineker's World Cup goals record was considerably better than Shearer's! When we got back to the studio at half-time it was noticeable that Gazza appeared to have elbowed in the face in a off-the-camera incident. But, finally, the World Cup is starting to come to life. Danny Baker summed it up beautifully on last night's Match of the Day. 'It's mad, it makes no sense.' Over on Sky, Shaun Custis and Henry Winter - two of my favourite football journalists - were noting that three days ago it was being called the worst World Cup in history and then, two good days, plenty of goals and a couple of surprises and, suddenly, it's up there with the best of them. It is, as Greavsie used to note with monotonous regularly, a funny old game.
And so to this one. Hmmm ... a nation with a history full of genocidal, xenophobic, sick fascist dickheads ... Versus Germany.
I was really torn on this one. Even more torn when discovering that my least favourite commentary team in the whole world - Jonathan Pearce and Mick McCarthy were doing it. Pearce nailed his colours to the flag noting that there were 'again, too many empty seats.' Well, what did you do with all your 'family and friends complimentaries' then, Jonathan? Surely you could've found some Dutch girls to take 'em off your hands, no questions asked.
The game was quite lively but much of the attention went onto a rather fussy, card-happy Spanish ref, Alberto Undiano. Not ridiculously so, not like that Russian when the Netherlands played Portugal four years ago, but it did move Pearce to say, early on, 'I'll be really surprised if this game ends with twenty two players on the pitch.'
That's always a problem for a referee, if you start dishing out cards early on for relatively minor offences, in an attempt to stamp your authority on the game, you've got to go on in the same mode all match. And that's gonna lead to trouble. And, of course, it did. Klose got a second yellow for a rather innocuous foul on Dejan Stankovic (having got his first one for virtually nothing) and was off the pitch. Chaos. The Germans went mental - it was like Stalingrad all over again. Almost immediately, the Serbs went up the other end, Krasic crossed, Nikola Zigic knocked it down and Milan Jovanovic was all alone to turn the ball into the German net. Germany were in big trouble, yet they nearly scored three times in the next two minutes, Schweinsteiger was pulled up for a foul on the keeper when in a dangerous position (McCarthy was almost incandescent with rage, noting 'the keeper's being a Big Tart there.' Can you actually say that on the BBC at quarter past one in the afternoon? Then, Mesut Ozil's cross was punched away by Stojkovic only as far as Sami Khedira, who slammed a shot against the bar and the rebound was scrambled off the line. At half-time Shearer continued the 'outraged of Woolingston' theme: 'We have got a really fussy referee who has ruined the game for Germany. The red card completely changed the face of the match and Group D is wide open if this score stays the same.' He then elbowed Lee Dixon in the face. And the whole country cheered!The second-half started with a torrent of German pressure and, you felt Germany might well get back into this, because Serbia looked very shaky at the back and one couldn't believe that the Germans would keep on missing chances. Then they got a penalty, Vidic stupidly handling in the box when under no pressure. And Podolski promptly missed it! (Or rather, Stojkovic saved it, but it was a damned poor penalty.) I mean that was a shock in and of itself. When was the last time you can remember a German missing a penalty in a major tournament? Uli Stielike in 1982, I think! But, still, the Serbians had something coming forward, Jovanovic hitting the post with a curling shot. And their defence recovered its bottle and stopped being glakes and doing stupid things like giving needless penalties away. This was Ze Chermans' first defeat in a World Cup group game since 1986. And there was much rejoicing in England. The Netherlands. France. Belgium. Denmark. In fact, virtually all of Europe. America. Micronesia. Palau. The Pitcairns ...
Amerikkka v Slovenia
Several Elvises (or should that be Elvi?) in the crowd singing 'The Star Spangled Banner.' Oh, it must be the Americans. Either that, or I'm on very hard drugs. Yeah, it is America because, after less that thirty seconds, Clint Eastwood (or someone) elbowed Ljubijankic in the face. Oi! There's a North Tyneside copyright on that sort of thing, pal. Anyway, we got an interesting camera angle from above the pitch which appeared to show the centre circle had been marked out a bit wonky. You want some top-quality goals scored from miles outside the box? Then have a splash of this, baby. Slovenia's decent start became a sensational one as Birsa collected the ball twenty five yards out in space and curled a gorgeous left-foot shot into the corner of Tim Howard's net. The Everton keeper didn't even move. 'I always thought there was a look of Hannibal Lecter about Bob Bradley,' noted Steve Wilson completely out of left-field. Not sure if Martin Keown actually understood the reference, he merely grunted in reply.
The Americans then had a great spell where they probably could have scored two or three. But, they didn't and. as we all know, football can be a really cruel game. Just as USA start to think they were getting back into it, Slovenia went up the other end and doubled their lead. Ljubijankic finishing it by coolly slotting in after Milivoje Novakovic's perfectly-timed pass.
The Malian referee, Koman Coulibaly, had a good start to the game but, just as commentators were complimenting him on letting the game flow, he went and spoiled it by booking Robbie Findley for handball when the ball ricocheted off his face and brush his hand on the way down. Easily, the single worst bit of refereeing in the tournament so far and way worse than anything the much criticised Spaniard did in the previous game. And worse was to follow. At half-time, Hansen, in his really nice blue shirt, bigged-up the Yankie boys whilst Roy Hodgson was, again, very precise and smart in his critique. His pronunciation of the word 'Americans', however, was hilarious. Roy, trust me, what you're saying is the name for a pubic wig.Almost as soon as the second-half kicked-off, Donovan got the USA back into the game, the Slovenina goalkeeper shamefully flinching - actual proper flinching, an'all, mind - as Donovan shot at him from a narrow angle. After that it was pretty much all America against a strong, hard-working, give-no-quarter Slovan back-line. It took until the eighty first minute before Michael Bradley got on the end of a knock-down to equalise. There was a disallowed goal after that and lots of blood and thunder and rockets red flares and all that malarkey. Replays shown there was little, if anything, wrong with the one that was disallowed. Keown whinged, about stuff generally and the referee in particular. Slovenia broke neatly but Tim Howard saved well, twice. It was all proper cracking stuff. The game ended almost exactly as it began, with a Slovan rolling around on the floor, clutching his face. Is it really just a couple of days ago that we were all sitting around saying 'hasn't been much cop so far'?! As Gary Lineker noted after it had finished 'Message to watching Americans. that's what makes football so special!'
The Best Kept Village In Europe v Algeria
I missed most of the build up to this as I'd been invited to a barbecue. I should have stayed there really. The first half was, quite possibly, the single worst forty-five minutes of the tournament so far. Algeria were all right, to be fair - first to every fifty-fifty ball, neat, energetic. They didn't seem to have much threat up front but they had their moments. England, on the other hand, were as bad as they've ever been on the many occasions they've been in a position like this. ITV's commentary team - Tyldesley and Townsend - used a few words to describe the performance; edgy, nervous, uninspired, bland, ponderous. They missed out the most obvious one - piss-poor. 'Horrible,' said Chiles. 'Where is the team from qualification?' Keegan suggested half the team were carrying injuries. Southgate called it 'disappointing.' The rest of the world must hate it when England is the main feature match of a night. 'Oh God, not England?! Is their anything on the other side tonight?'
One sensed that England couldn't, possibly, play that badly again in the second half. They didn't. They were worse. Everything about the performance was full of wrong turns. Every choice they made seemed to be the wrong one, whether it was Heskey tripping over his own feet unable to decide whether to shoot or cross, Gerrard seemingly unable to run with the ball without losing control of it, Rooney coming deep when he should have been staying up the pitch and visa versa.
Every pass seemed to be over hit, hardly a single ball to feet was trapped but rather always seemed to bounce off the player and possession was often lost. It was scrappy, predictable and very unlovely to watch. And the longer it went on, the more the players seemed to be sulking and feeling sorry for themselves, as though the whole thing was some sort of massive conspiracy against them rather than, you know, their fault. (Rooney's televised tirade towards the fans as he came off at the end summed up that niggly feeling you often have that these young men are, essentially, a bunch of pampered prima donnas who could use a damned good dose of reality being rammed down their collective throat. You're being paid for this, guys. We're not. We're paying for the privilege of watching you. A necessary difference, I feel.) In what seemed like an act of desperately with eight minutes left, Capello took off Barry (probably England's best player, although that really isn't saying much) and brought on Crouch. When Lampard tried an ambitious shot from thirty yards a couple of minutes from the end and almost hit the corner flag, the first boos started. Not a single solitary one of them was undeserved.'Not nearly good enough.' Well, indeed.
Goals: 43
Red Cards: 7
